BS: reasons for not marrying

Subject: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,So That's the reason.....
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:34 AM

High IQ cuts women's marriage prospects

A high IQ is a hindrance for women wanting to get married while it is an asset for men, according to a study by four British universities. The study found the likelihood of marriage increased by 35 per cent for boys for each 16 point increase in IQ. But for girls, there is a 40 per cent drop for each 16-point rise, according to the survey by the universities of Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh and Glasgow.

The study is based on the IQs of 900 men and women between their 10th and 40th birthdays. "Women in their late 30s, who have gone for careers after the first flush of university and who are among the brightest of their generation, are finding that men are just not interesting enough," psychologist and professor at Nottingham University Paul Brown said.Claire Rayner, writer and broadcaster, says that intelligent men often preferred a less brainy partner.

"A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job that is going to take up a lot of his energy and time," she said."In many ways he wants a woman who is an old-fashioned wife and looks after the home, a copy of his mum in a way."

The study has been published in The Sunday Times newspaper.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:37 AM

Don't you mean, "Some women are too smart to get married?"

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:40 AM

Not all intelligent men are looking for their mums. It shoul dbe obvious that drawing from a much smaller population (comparable IQs) at the right end of the bell-curve is going to mean less frequent hits.

"Men are not interesting enough" is just sloppy interpretation for a pop rag.

A

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:23 AM

Right, intelligent men aren't looking to marry dear ole mum. They are looking to marry to get the services of a chef, laundress, housekeeper and nanny for free.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Another one
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 09:46 AM

I am sure some people undervalue the legal rights they get when they marry. Sure, they can enter into legal agreements to try to recoop the ones that they naturally get if they marry but if they make a mistake they could find that a property goes to their partner's family, not them; or they could be denied access at a hospital as they are not legal next of kin ...

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Jeanie
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 09:51 AM

These are generalisations, of course, but I don't think it's so much that "bright women don't find men interesting enough". Bright women will find something interesting in anything, everything and everyone. That's what makes them bright ! Bright people never complain of being bored. There is always something new and interesting to look at and learn from.

I think it's more along the lines of the quote by Claire Rayner: "Intelligent men often prefer a less brainy partner." Some (but by no means all) men feel intimidated by women who are equally or more intelligent than themselves. A couple of examples: Over the years, I have come across men (family/friends/partners) who point blank refuse to watch TV programmes such as "Mastermind" or "University Challenge" with me, because they can't bear to hear me answering questions correctly, when they can't ! The reverse situation doesn't worry me in the least.

Another example: from my experience, an intimidated male of the species can tend to interpret a woman as "showing off", when she is merely having fun with her knowledge or skills - e.g. I was once accused of being a "show-off" by a male friend who felt intimidated by my mock exaggerated Italian pronunciation of dishes on a menu - I was simply playing and having fun !

For an enduring relationship, a truly bright woman will be bright enough to let the man feel that he is brighter, but never let on what she is doing ;)

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:11 AM

Jeanie, I was with you until this line:

For an enduring relationship, a truly bright woman will be bright enough to let the man feel that he is brighter, but never let on what she is doing

Maybe those bright women who scare the bejeezuz out of men aren't willing to hide their light under a bushel basket just to let a guy think he's brighter just for the sake of having a relationship. It's dishonest, and I would think a hard act to keep up. If I were taller than the guy I would consider wearing flats (not a tough choice since the foot surgery!), but no way would I dumb down my personality so he can feel brighter. He's probably scared off by now, anyway. . .

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:19 AM

If she's all that bright to begin with she won't end up with a stupid man. Some of the stuff here is simply man-bashing. I think it's sexist, but maybe that's why this thread was started. Good luck in the quagmire. I though some of you were much smarter than to fall into this type of manure. Live and learn.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Charmion at work
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:24 AM

If they scare that easy, what would they do when faced with something dangerous?

When I was still looking, I discovered that Mr. Wrong frequently revealed himself within minutes. "Hey, have you read all these books?" is a reliable sign that he should be given the old heave-ho after one -- count 'em, one -- cup of coffee. If he flinches when you make a joke, or intervenes to halt an intellectual conversation -- "It's getting heavy in here! How about them Jays!" -- the smart woman knows what to do. And she does it because she knows that, however cute he is, sooner or later you have to talk.

If intelligent women have so much trouble finding men, why do so many of them go through life trailing a long line of old boyfriends? I suspect that it's not the men; it's the women having trouble figuring out what they really want in life.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Charmion at work
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:28 AM

Brucie raises a good point. All this stuff cuts both ways -- and man-bashing is just as offensive as any other kind of bashing. The fact is that plenty of women choose men they can patronize, and enjoy having someone to dominate.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Willie-O
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:30 AM

The premise is biased, so the conclusions will be likewise.

If highly intelligent men have demanding careers and need/prefer partners who will be available to help support their day-to-day needs in the home, wouldn't the same be true of highly intelligent women in this day and age? (I mean, ask my wife. )

And how did they determine that "A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job..", not to mention the unflattering chauvinistic portrait of same...I'd have thought that high intelligence would lead to some degree of relatively advanced social sense.

Plus the numbers they have are just plain weird. If indeed "the likelihood of marriage increased by 35 per cent for boys for each 16 point increase in IQ", where did they start from? 50? 100? Let's say 90, that being the nominal bottom end of normal IQ range.

How many 30-year-old men with an IQ of 90 are likely to be married?
Let's say 60%; if so, a quite intelligent chap, IQ 116, is 95% likely to be married, and the extremely clever IQ 132 is of course 120% likely to be so. The genuine genius of 148 appears to be a bigamist...or are they counting how many marriages each person has?

Similarly a female genius appears to have ZERO chance of being married. \

Yep, I think both the study and it's quick-off-the-mark interpreters are on pretty thin ice here.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Jeanie
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:36 AM

Stilly River Sage and Brucie: please note the ;) symbol at the end of my comment: it is meant to denote a grin and wink - and my tongue very much in my cheek !! I took this thread to be light-hearted and not to be taken too seriously. It's part of the fun and age-old male/female game.

- jeanie ;)

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:17 AM

but no way would I dumb down my personality so he can feel brighter.

You think you would have to?

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:40 AM

There is a woman who contributes to the Sunday Rotogravure section of the paper (here it's Parade magazine) named Marilyn vos Savant (here) who is reputed to have the highest IQ around. Whether this is so, or she just has a good research staff, last time I read something about her, she also managed to have a spouse.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:47 AM

statistically I wonder how accurate this can be with a sample of only 900? Did the iq's of the participants even match the distribution of the general population?

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 01:12 PM

Reasons for not marrying.....
Not sure how much of the above may be accurate but I know two women who are particularly bright..have excellent jobs...and have househusbands who stay at home to do the chores....Both families seem to be extremely happy with their lot for the most part...but I do know one of the women complains of tiredness at night...and we are all aware of those implications in reverse roles.
For me to re-marry, it would take someone pretty special...probably someone who doesn't exist...I think that's as good a reason as any for not getting married. Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 01:28 PM

The IQ of the population--by definition--is 100.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 01:42 PM

My wife often tells me that for a bright lad I'm a bit thick.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 01:45 PM

I liked the reflection regarding marriage I heard a stand-up comedian make once (as near as I can recall)...

Studies show married men live longer than single men on average while, conversely, single women live longer than married women. So that's why men should splurge a lot on the engagement ring:

"Please accept this expensive sparkly token in return for the life I am about to suck out of you."

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 01:50 PM

;-D

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 01:52 PM

I could go on all day about good reasons not to get married... :-)

But...it depends entirely on the individual. There are plenty of good reasons TO get married as well.

I'm male, and I have always been attracted to more intelligent women. Unintelligent women hold little interest for me, and I am most definitely not in search of a fulltime housekeeper. I'm okay with doing the housekeeping myself. If it's a shared situation, then I'm okay with splitting it 50/50.

I see no reason to deliver over and sacrifice an important personal relationship of mine to the ruling power structures in society! (those being the government and/or some church) It's none of their danged business. I don't need their approval or their sanction.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,Champagne Carol's Lazy SS
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:02 PM

My reason for not marrying...My husband would prefer that I didn't do that again! hehe. Sorry, I had to.

Actually, I married my Husband THREE times - all legal and no divorces between ceremonies. howsabout that. Liked him enough to do it once, do it twice, I even did it thrice.

CC's Lazy SS
too lazy to figure out how to rest my cookie as me.
I'll do it later

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:04 PM

Sounds like you found the right person, CC's SS.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:22 PM

two very bright people in one marraige 'can' be a source of conflict if each tries to intimidate the other, etc...or it 'can' be a source of great synergy & joy & growth, if they bother to learn from and complement each other.

I am lucky enough to be in the 2nd kind.

too many guys want Winnie-the-Pooh wives: "Bare, with very little brain"

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:26 PM

I read an interview with Bill Maher, in which he was asked why he isn't married. He responded that he thinks he scares most of them with his intellectual pursuits and attitudes. That sounded like a challenge--I would think he'd have had some smart women seeking him out after that observation. He was in no way saying most women are dumb, but that those who have the brains and temperament to deal with him are scarce.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:28 PM

in the case of Maher, I can see the point..*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: fat B****rd
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 02:59 PM

Hey, Big Pink, It must be a North East England thing. All my wives have told me that.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: freda underhill
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:20 PM

i hereby come out as the GUEST who started this thread. you can guess my reasons for starting it, and for doing so as a guest.

great to read the responses, except for the predictable knee-jerk reaction.

no, it wasnt intended in any way to be man-bashing - i can do that much more specifically if in the mood.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: freda underhill
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:28 PM

ps for some strange reason, i'm tempted to get in the mood..



however my natural humanitarian impulses have overcome this animal instinct and i have decided today instead listen to music.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Once Famous
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:46 PM

Go ahead. Get in the mood. I'll take you on!

BTW, please be a dear and get the boys and I some coffee.

Nice tush. .........smack!

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:52 PM

Please ignore Martin Darling! You have worked hard today so I bought you these flowers..oh and dinner is in the oven.(tenderly kisses her on the cheek)......Dream on!
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:11 PM

"A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job that is going to take up a lot of his energy and time," she said."In many ways he wants a woman who is an old-fashioned wife and looks after the home, a copy of his mum in a way."

This fellow should be located and given heck.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:36 PM

By his mum.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: mack/misophist
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:56 PM

The basic informatin in this study is nothing new. I saw it 10 years ago and it wasn't new then. It reflects our cultural norms more than anything else, I think. This current incarnation, however, is organized to provoke gender bashing. And let's not forget that IQ itself is in some disrepute. Also, did they give Stanford-Binet Tests to 900 people to get those results? How did they know? As a teen-ager I tested at 154 but I've never been anything but bright average.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:03 PM

I test with a variance of 7 points. Some of the questions are also stupid. 2,4,6,8,___. The tendency of most folks is to answer 10. However, x is a good response, too.

f,m,a,m,j,j,___?

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: rumanci
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:15 PM

a

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:22 PM

TEN THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

1


2


3


4


5


6


7


8


9


10 They are female.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:32 PM

well...maybe. There were these Russian athletes in the Olympics awhile back...

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:47 PM

"no, it wasnt intended in any way to be man-bashing - i can do that much more specifically if in the mood."

Sure glad it's not ME yer POed at.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: GUEST,John in Oz
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:51 PM

Okay - here goes.

I reckon the studies are coming at it from the wrong angle. I think the reason high IQ women ( possibly should be highly educated )have trouble finding husbands is because they're ugly. Maybe I'll settle on; less attractive.

When the attractive teenage girls are going out on dates, dances etc, the overlooked less attractive ones are at home studying.

The Muslims had it worked out years ago when they had their women don the burka. It means that even the ugly chicks stand a chance of getting a husband.


( This is the BS section, isn't it ? )


JG/FME

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM

There is no such thing as an ugly woman. Not on this Earth.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Once Famous
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

Yep, she's OK if you just put a bag over her face.............

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Metchosin
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

you bet it is........

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: beardedbruce
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 05:57 PM

To quote Robert Heinlein

"All women are beautiful: Some are just more beautiful than others."

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Peace
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 06:02 PM

All I can think of is the Rolling Stones: "Satisfaction" or "Under my Thumb". Which do you guys thing would be the right choice of music to play in the background?

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 06:32 PM

10 things I know about women:

1. They are living proof that that which is flexible and yielding, like a willow, is stronger than that which is rigid and unbending, like an oak. (taoist teaching)

2. They are the outer reflection of a man's inner hidden female self. That's why men fall in love with them.

3. They hold up half the sky. (North American Indian teaching)

4. They are the heart of a nation.

5. They are the conscience of a nation.

6. They are the glue that holds a well-functioning society together.

7. They generally only go to war when it's absolutely necessary.

8. They do not tend to confuse courage with bravado.

9. They are the bearers of new life.

10. They are the daughters of God and of Life.


As such, they are sacred and ought to be treated accordingly. A fool recognizes none of the above.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: open mike
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:55 PM

if he or she is real smart they will find a way to NOT
get sucked into a job that demands their time and energy.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: harpgirl
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 07:57 PM

That's more like it George. Better than that weird Shatner stuff!

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:01 PM

1 thing I know about women:

1. They are all individuals and are just as f__ked up as men are.




1 thing I don't know about women:

1. Why they bother with us men in the first place.

Subject: RE: BS: reasons for not marrying
From: Kaleea
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:05 PM

How about reasons TO get married?

   I'd sure appreciate having a roadie--someone to carry all of my instruments for me.
    (not the only reason, but a good one for a puny geezer like me)