BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???

Subject: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:56 PM

I don't think this question's been asked here before. Sure, there've been lots of "How Many" threads: Guitars (I have 14), Banjos (I have 4), Accordions ( I have 0, thank God). There might even have been a "How Many Chainsaws..." thread (I have 3), but never "How Many Spatulas..."

Now, don't tell me I'm the first Mudcatter to ponder this matter. Lots of you guys have probably wondered the very same thing before and just haven't been able to muster up the courage to start a thread. Well, here's your chance and I've already done all the hard work for ya! All you have to do is answer the question!

Well, I am the proud owner of no less than eleven spatulas! That's four of the type that are sometimes referred to as "pancake turners", two long-handled jobbies for barbecuing (that I never use since I never barbecue), four of the type used to get brownie batter out of the mixing bowl (or to get the last bit of mayo out of a jar), and one weird-ass thing that I only call a spatula because I have no idea what it's for but it looks sorta spatula-ish. I'm pretty sure it's not a knife or an eggbeater.

So there! Hah! Top that!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:58 PM

One. It's wooden. I could do with more, but that'd mean a trip to Ikea and I can't be arsed.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:00 PM

Are you sure it's a spatula if it's wooden? I've seen a wooden spoon, but not a spatula. I have three, a plastic one for cooking things in a pan, and two rubber ones for scraping things out. When fitting my life into two suitcases spatulas just didn't seem important enough to make it in.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:02 PM

Not enough. I am always rummaging in the dishwasher when I need one.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:03 PM

Shit! Maybe not. It's spatula-shaped, but indeed it may not actually be a spatula. It has slots in it. I'm going to spend the rest of the night worrying about this.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:05 PM

Oh, good question! Let's see:

one icing spatula, nonperforated, wooden-handled
one small pancake turner, perforated, wooden-handled
one rigid steel pancake turner, wooden-handled
3 misc. "vintage" pancake turners, perforated, painted wood-handled
one rigid steel round-ended pancake turner, nylon-handled
one extra-long pancake turner, perforated, steel-handled (professional type; best for fish)
one small synthetic rubber spatula, steel-handled
one large synthetic rubber spatula, steel-handled
one nylon spatula (Tupperware), hole in center, designed for mixing batter

What do you know -- that's 11! Coincidence? Hmmm.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:07 PM

Define spatula, SVP.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM

a tuning fork, musical spoons ... hmmm ... I'm sure there are some doodads that can serve more than one function. :)

I made the mistake of ordering a "high-temperature spatula" online. I wanted it to turn things over in a pan, but it was one of those other kind. ... :-P

I have a nice large metal one, which I can't use for my "non-stick" skillet.

I think I have a wooden one of the scraper type. It's a flat paddle thing that lives with my other wooden spoons.

I love going into cooking stores and looking at all the thing-a-ma-bobs. I don't know what any of them are called. Must be from my days of playing music on my mom's cooking stuff. :)

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,SKIPY
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:14 PM

5

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:23 PM

C'mon, Brucie, you know what a spatula is. It's too dull to be a knife, too flat to be a spoon, doesn't have tines so it's not a fork, and ya can't drink beer out of it. Anything that exhibits all those characteristics is eligible for spatulahood, though the final decision is up to the judges.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:24 PM

Oh! And, if it has an electrical cord it's not a spatula. All spatulas are cordless.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:31 PM

"It's too dull to be a knife, too flat to be a spoon, doesn't have tines so it's not a fork, and ya can't drink beer out of it."

Sounds like a not-too-bright dog I had once who was run over by a semi. Thanks, Bruce. Now I can answer: I had one, but not any longer.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:35 PM

I figure at least 5 or 6.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:46 PM

4 wooden
2 nylon for non stick
2 Metal

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 05:53 PM

7 I know about.
however they seem to be breeding when I turn my back, like the chopsticks.......

Bunnahabhain

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: harpgirl
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:33 PM

I had one wooden spatula but Susan borrowed it at the last Florida Folk Festival because she forgot the one she usually uses to spank Bruce with when they do the horizontal cha cha...






( ta, da: harpy takes a bow!)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Padre
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:36 PM

2 wood
4 metal (1 very long for the grill)
3-4 plastic/fiberglass?
Padre

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:41 PM

I'm single, but I have enough duplicate kitchen utensils for a small army. I think they're left in my kitchen at night by the same playful elves that steal the lids from all my pots and pans and plastic containers.

I have about 6 spatulas, metal and plastic, slotted and not, and one that mystifies me, it's spatulesque, having a one piece plastic handle and blade, the blade is slotted and curves slightly at the end, and it's also triangle shaped. I use it as a spatula when all the others are dirty.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 06:44 PM

Well, I wasn't going to get into this Spatula Envy contest but something made me open the door and rather than jOhn startin' it, my bud, Beezer, did so I figured, well, what the heck, I 'll go do a count.

Nine!!!

But, 4 of them are in a box of stuff to give away in the basement so I could say 5, as well...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:05 PM

• four rubbery bowl scraping spatulas
  

  Three are smallish.
  
  The other has an extra long handle and a large strurdy blade. It is known as the listening stick, because when I hold it children listen. Rattling the drawer in which it resides has been known to effect vast improvements in the behaviour of young boys.

  
  
• two small slotted tefflon-coating-safe spatulas for lifting or turning things that are hot
  
  
• one large slotted tefflon-coating-safe spatula for lifting or turning things that are hot
  
  
• two small metal-bladed spatulas for lifting or turning things that are hot
  
  
• one large metal-bladed spatula for lifting or turning things that are hot, with an extra long handle for using on the barbeque
  
  
• another one large metal-bladed spatula for lifting or turning things that are hot, with an extra long handle for using on the barbeque. This one was a gift. It has a very sharp cutting edge on one side that scares me so much I get goosebumps, just by looking at it, so it stays tucked away on a high shelf.
  
  
• two wooden spatulas for stirring/scraping hot semi-solids. One is well used, mostly for making Rice Krispies Squares, The other is in mint condition and has "for candy making" printed on it in indelible ink. Looks as if I don't make much candy, huh?
  

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:13 PM

That was your spatula, Harpy? Oops! We wore it out.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:23 PM

I'll count 'em, and answer tomorrow...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: CarolC
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:31 PM

I'm not telling.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:33 PM

I used to take real pride in my spatulas, but then I got married and moved into a house that was already full of cooking utensils. Most of my spatulas stayed in boxex, but I did rescue my two rectangular fry-cook spatulas (one large, one small), and one sturdy slotted spatula, and a plastic slotted spatula I use for cooking omelets in a nonstick pan.
Important things, those spatulas. Wish I could find the other ones...

I have to say that the wife's spatulas are junk. She has these clunky wooden things, because she doesn not want to get the aura of metal or plastic on her food. You can't do precision cooking with clunky wooden spatulas, and they never seem to be completely clean. When she'd not looking, I use my macho metal spats.

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:37 PM

Same here. I will get back on the figure. I have a bunch because I collect antique kitchen utinsils and they hang all over my kitchen.
One that comes to mind, different than most, has a heavy wire handle that you squeeze together and it turns over itself.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:44 PM

Wow!!What a WONDERFUL idea for a thread. I am stoked -- this is the first original idea to appear on the Cat since 2001, April.

My answer is five, including one large slotted originally used for filtering ktity litter but since converted to a chef's spatula....

maybe that was in the don't ask, don't tell department....


A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:45 PM

Hot damn! You heard the man! Now we've got something to blackmail Offer with!


Dear Mrs. Offer,

I know this may come as a shock to you, but are you aware that when you're away Joe uses metal spatulas?

A Friend


Just get in touch with me, Joe, and we'll see what we can do about making sure that letter never gets sent.

Be sure you have your checkbook handy.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:46 PM

I have

a bunch of little nylon flipper types
a bunch of rubber scraper-types
a bunch of regular-sized flipper-types
a bunch of wooden flipper types
a bunch of wooden scraper types
a bunch of rubber scraper types with slightly concave scrapers
a bunch of metal spreader types
a bunch of assorted types I can't make heads or tails of.

TOTAL: a bunch of various types of spatulas.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Blowzabella
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 07:47 PM

None - altho I do have 2 fish slices...and i don't eat fish...they all do the same job don't get? getting flat things out of things?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:11 PM

Free at last, free at last . . . .

Thank you, Venerable Rapaire. Flippers. Why the heck didn't someone say that to begin with?!! I coulda answered that right off if a certain someone who will go unnamed BRUCE hadn't used the word spatula like eveyone knows what it is. Sheeeeeeesh! I suppose we're gonna start giving them colours now, like cherry blossom mauve and antiquated begonia teal or stuff like that.

YES, I have NO flippers.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:13 PM

Nothin' fishie about my boy Bruce!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:34 PM

But flippers are only a small part of the grand totality that is spatulaness! Spatulas don't just flip! They scrape! They smooth! They saute'! They stir!

If you are only using your spatulas to flip, Brucie, you are only experiencing a small part of the spatula experience! Get with it, man! Go to a store and ask someone, "Excuse me, but can you direct me to the spatulas?" Don't be afraid to ask for help. Many people need a little push to get over that initial fear of spatulas. Just do it! You'll be glad you did.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:39 PM

In the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF there is an ad for a store called spatula city, and it had a wonderful jingle "Spatula City, Spatula City, we sell spatulas...and that's all" I've always wanted to go to that store.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:40 PM

Amos, remind me never to eat at your house....
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:47 PM

I thought it was "Spatula World" in that Weird Al movie, though I'd never be rude enough to insist I'm right. I always leave insisting I'm right up to other assholes whenever possible.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 08:55 PM

Since you brought it up I wasn't really sure it was Spatula City, but I just did a quick internet search and it appears to be city, not world.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:11 PM

Thank you. I'm glad I didn't insist.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 09:53 PM

I myself don't have them, but there is such a thing as "spatulate fingers." They could be used in place of spatulas, saving both money and counter space.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:00 PM

For the lonely chefs out there. Not quite pornography, but certainly arousing.

http://www.epinions.com/hmgd-Cooking-Tools-All-Spatulas

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:05 PM

A detail from the post above.

http://www.epinions.com/Global_10_5_Turner_Spatular__Spatulas_GS_27/display_~full_specs

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:11 PM

God, Brucie, did you have to?

Because of the gaps in its thin, spare metal skeleton, this turner-spatula is extremely flexible, lightweight, and versatile. The upward tilt of its front edge means you can lift and loosen foods from an angle rather than straight on. The 4.5-inch long slots in this turner also allow for good drainage, so cooks often use it for lifting delicate fried foods like fish fillets from a skillet. Constructed from a single piece of stainless steel, there's no risk of the handle loosening. The handle is imprinted with Global's signature tiny recessed dots that give it a slip-proof grip.

I hate to post such, well, arousing stuff here, but oh my god...oh my god...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Got a cigarette?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:33 PM

I know Rapaire. It's like nothing is sacred anymore. I no longer understand this world. I would become a recluse--but I think they're spiders.

Notice, as I am sure you did, such phrases as

extremely flexible, lightweight, and versatile
upward tilt of its front edge
from an angle rather than straight on
no risk of the handle loosening
tiny recessed dots that give it a slip-proof grip

Whew.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:41 PM

and for years, I thought that "Spatula" was a Yiddish word. Like "Tumult".

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:45 PM

Cigarette, hell! How about some Prozac? God! Those are some fine spatulas! I'm in lust!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:04 PM

Don't forget the left handed spatulas.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: moonglow
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:11 PM

Well, I went and did a quick spatula count and came up with this:

10 "proper" spatulas- (the rubber/silicone type- my mom's (SRS') are white, but my dad has some quite nice coloured ones)
1 wooden spatula (used mainly (to my knowledge) for scrambled eggs and the occasional italian sausage, and for nonstick pans)
1 spreading-spatula (the variety of which my Home-Ec teacher insisted was the only true variety of spatula, although I refused to believe her)
4 pancake/hamburger-flipping-type spatulas
2 antiques of the former, both of which are highly evolved and contain mechanisms to grip and/or turn with but a squeeze of the hand
1 cake server (which could be used in times of dire need as a spatula)
2 (handle-free!) nylon pan scrapers

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:19 PM

You guys, this stuff is all over the internet. The depravity of cooks--well, I just never knew. Look at this link and don't even TRY to tell me we aren't living in a strange world. And the sublime nature of the sales technique? Pass it off as KITCHEN implements. Huh! Like, WE know what it's REALLY for!

http://www.wokshop.com/products_main.html

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:29 PM

Nice, Brucie, but it ain't spatulas. I mean it's okay to be into woks and sushi sets if that's what trips your trigger, but it's just not the way I'm wired. I'll just stick with my spatulas.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:31 PM

I myself don't have them, but there is such a thing as "spatulate fingers." They could be used in place of spatulas, saving both money and counter space.

Well, that's a medical condition. However, my ex calls them "asbestos fingers" when I pick up things that were in the pan (or are still in the pan) and move them, turn them, slide, nudge, or on occasion, pick them up off the stovetop or floor and put them back. (Julia Child said that what they don't know won't hurt them. . .) anyway, my ex (the guy with the colorful spatulas) says his mom also has asbestos fingers. I think it just comes from cooking a lot and running out of spatulas. . .

I'd love one of these for out in the back yard. It could double as a spatula.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:43 PM

OK, guys. Sorry. I got carried away. Internet sites--some just get to ya, ya know? I'm back on track again.

deluxe edition

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:44 PM

One curved spatula for moveing the scrotum.

On Cyclendirca for lilting the the latter regions.

One flat one packetaged with the Clother-line-clips - for kink.

Two for speading adible.

One for the waffle jar.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:17 AM

The question has arisen (Please don't ask from where. You don't really want to know. Trust me on this.), "If a spatula is not used as a spatula, is it still a spatula?" For instance, if you keep a spatula in your car to scrape ice from your windshiled, is it still a spatula or is it an ice scraper? If you use a spatula to stir paint, is it still a spatula or is it a paint stirrer? In other words, is spatulaness inherent in the physical item itself, or is it determined by the use to which that item is put?

You may rest assured that I await your comments with bated breath.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:31 AM

Grasshopper,

If you use a knife as a screw driver, will the screw know the difference? If you use an AK 47 to scramble eggs, will the guests laugh nervously? If you use a living Bengal tiger as a placemat, will your guests be happy you have the AK 47?

To clarify my answer Grasshopper, in a word, gimme a hit.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Kaleea
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:32 AM

Ummm, I have bunches of 'em. Not as many as I did have. My neice came over in a bug hurry to borrow a slotted spatula the other day. Sure, I said. She'd bring it right back as soon as she got a new one.
    When she brought it back, I asked her what she had been cooking. "OH, I wasn't cooking anything. I just needed to clean out the cat's litter box!"
   That particular spatula is no longer in my utensil drawer.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:44 AM

ah, yes, the calluses on my fingers are most certainly not from playing guitar. They could be, but ... but ...

I subscribe to the sRS mode of cooking. I've burnt myself pretty good, too. But it's the best way to feel where the food is, as I don't see. My cooking teacher always said that too ... "just don't show anyone what you're doing. Heheheheheh.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:06 AM

I don't burn myself though [knock wood]--I think we all learn what our threshold is as far as dealing with heat, and people who cook a lot are in a good position to refine this sense. I wouldn't pick up anything out of hot oil, for example, or stick my hand in boiling water. But the physics of cooking (in conjunction with the chemistry of cooking) is such that it can be a hands-on process. As Moonglow noted to me a little while ago, it's like knowing if you can reach in (sans implement, in our case, bamboo tongs) and get that slice of toast out of the toaster without burning yourself.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:51 AM

2 long bar-be-que sized metal ones
1 giant rubber one--industrial grade
2 wooden ones
3 regular sized rubber ones
3 narrow rubber ones
2 mini rubber ones
one nylon one
one slotted plastic one..for teflon
one long metal one..frosting spreader
one with scalloped edges...not sure what it is good for..(slotted)
one metal slotted one with bake lite handle--part of my mom's set
but i so far have resuisted the temptation to get one of the
handle-free models--unless you count the stainless steel one
where the spot welded handle broke off and i kept the blade..
because i thought it might be good for cutting brownies..
wow i guess that makes 19

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sooz
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:54 AM

I'm sure that many of the above spatulas are actually pallet knives. We need a better working definition!

Just off to work now where I have dozens of spatulas in the lab. Theres a particularly nice one called a Griffin Trulla which is brilliant for pricking out seedlings.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: An Pluiméir Ceolmhar
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:42 AM

Old-fashioned family here, and it's my wife who owns the kitchen ones. But I have a treasured Polyfilla spatula which I got from my Dad, and I think of him every time I use it for little plastering jobbies.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:06 AM

3 small metal ones we use primarily as serving utensils
2 wide "rubber" spats
1 narrow "rubber" spat
1 wooden icing spat
2 barbecue flipper thingies
2 metal pancake flippers
2 "non stick" pancake flippers
1 pallet knife USED and reserved for use as a spat
2 wierd ones that showed up one day and took up residence in the utensill drawer.

that's 16 - but we could use a few more of the rubber ones.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:23 AM

I have been feeling very guilty about starting this thread. A have come to realize that spatula ownership has the potential for creating even more division among our membership than already exists. It's not enough that we must be pigeon-holed as liberal or conservative, religious or secular, purist or eclectic, accordion player or accordion hater. Now we're either spatula-rich or spatula-poor. Will those who have lots of spatulas begin to shun those who only have a few? Will those who have few spatulas come to think of the spatula-rich as being elitist snobs?

Will someone please delete this thread before it causes Mudcat civil war?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:25 AM

Bonus points:

You're in the middle of mixing banana bread batter. You used your last good (locatable) spatula to scrape the lightly beaten eggs from their bowl into the stand mixer. You reach over and drop it into the sink. Now you have the mixer going and need to scrape down the sides.

Do you:

Pick up the next spatula that is in the pitcher of utensils on the counter, even if it's that big honker that you never use because of its size (and because you use it so rarely you know it's dusty)

Scrounge around for something else that will do the trick

Grab the spatula out of the dishpan where you just dropped it and use it as is because it landed on a clean surface and didn't touch the water yet?

Follow-up:

If it did touch the water, do you wash it before you reuse it?

Is a quick rinse under the faucet sufficient to render it reusable or must you use soapy water (knowing that the water in the dishpan is old and no longer soapy)?


Leave your papers by the door on the way out. Thank you.
SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:28 AM

3 if the rubber scrapers don't count. 5 if they do.
1 metal in the house
1 metal in the camp box
1 BIG hummer for the grill
1 large, 1 small rubber scraper spatulas.
I'm deprived!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:35 AM

Them that has, gets. Them that don't, don't. I'm spatula-rich, and you spatula-poor are just the unwashed. Perhaps if you worked harder you'd have enough spatulae, but obviously you are either lazy slobs or God has it in for you, or both. My life has been filled with the joy that having lots of spatulae can bring because I have lived a good, pure, God-fearing life. So there.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:45 AM

"lots of spatulae"

Plural for spatula spatulae? Or spatulas?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:46 AM

yuck! RAW EGG has touched that spatula! don't use it for ANYTHING ELSE until it has been sanitized in 160 degree (F) water for 10 minutes and or a 1 percent bleach solution for 15 minutes. Or both.   Otherwise you are at high risk for food poisoning.

You should probably dispose of the utensil and buy a fresh one. Beware of raw egg!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:46 AM

Was it Sir Isaac Newton who postulated that, "With a spatula big enough, I could lift the world."?


In answer to SRS...

...is anyone watching?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:51 AM

I must agree with my worthy colleague--and his culpa is mea culpa, too. Foolishly, I felt this thread (frivolous as it is--unlike Rapaire's thread on 1000 Virgins which speaks to a deep and important social issue) and stand by his side in his hour of shame. Please don't admonish Bruce; I am sure it was s spur-of-the-moment thing--a will 'o the wisp, a chimera of a memory of a recollection of a time when this world was a simpler place devoid of nuclear weapons, biochemical substances for use in warfare and beer that goes flat when you leave it in a glass for twelve days, and it was to the aforementioned contextual angst-causing world problems to which he was responding. Like, what's THAT about, huh? The flat beer I mean.

Anyway, please forgive Bruce for this error, and please forgive Bruce for 'jumping right in there' to fart around.

Bruce and I did NOT discuss his public apology before he made it. It was a surprise to me--and him to. Creatures of impulse: that's what humans are. Creatures of habit--that's what, OH! forget it, that's religion.

It's nice to see someone else in deeeeeep dung for a change. Thanks for takin' it for the team Bruce.


TO THE CLONES


Bee-dubya-ell is a real trouble maker. Give him sh#t.

Signed,

Anonymous.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:03 PM

What's the difference between a democratic spatula and a communist spatula?

Like, suppose one spatula was used to flip free-range eggs (the democratic spatula) and the other--the filthy commie one--was used to flip eggs that came from chickens that were raised in captivity. OK would they have sold out to the fascist market economy system that is being manipulated by the Euro and the Yen and the Dollar? If the spatulas go to shrift, will the be absolved of their wrong doing? I ask you. And if the situations were reversed, how WOULD the hens feel about being wannabe virgins? And the spatulas?

Responses, anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:05 PM

Well, since my conscience is bothering me for having started this thread in the first place, I have decided that since I seem to be one of the spatula-rich (or at least the spatula-upper-middle-class), I will donate some of my spatulas (spatulae) to the spatula poor so that we may strive toward spatula-parity. Others of the spatula-rich are encouraged to do the same, though it seems pretty obvious that some, like Rapaire, will horde their spatula surplus and laud it over their less fortunate comrades.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:05 PM

I promised I'd get back..it took some digging thru drawers to be sure I found 'em all....

the answer is enough... 14, I think.


(oh...THAT one?...you've heard about frying an egg on the sidewalk? THAT one is for removing the attempt...)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:11 PM

The recent bout of conscience among the spatula rich must be addressed. I am among the spatula poor, and I say you can keep your spatulas! I don't want any filthy spatulas earned by the backs of the poor! Don't go doing me any favors. I'll earn my own spatulas, I don't need your help or anybody elses. And you can keep them fancy words like spatulae too. I'll use good plain English.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:11 PM

Posting anonymously works MUCH better if you log out first.

Brucie, you're losing it. You're conflating threads again. Either I have to go read that nonsensical virgins thread or you have to explain yourself better.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM

Damn, Bill. What can I say. I'm speechless. I'm in awe. That someone would post a photo of their guitar collection or their pets is normal. That someone would post a photo of their spatula collection is... Well, it's the sort of thing Dali or Warhol would have done. Congratulations!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:57 PM

"I will donate some of my spatulas (spatulae) to the spatula poor so that we may strive toward spatula-parity."

Startin' tuh sound like a commie tuh me!


"that nonsensical virgins thread"

What virgins thread?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:10 PM

LOL, Bill. Thanks for that. Good shot by the way.

Listen up y'all. There is the potential for a good black market in spatulas. One of Bill's for example--specifically the metal-handled red-topped one in HIS left hand--would fetch a princely sum. But that ain't gonna happen if the darn commies start givin' the things away. Just a little food for thought.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:29 PM

was this link posted yet?
http://www.pixelscapes.com/spatulacity/aisle1.htm
now, just what IS a pallette knife?
something for painting with?
like a tongue depressor or a popsickle stick?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:39 PM

Ah worked fer my spatulae and Ah ain't a-gonna sit here and let no stinkin' commie nazis come 'round and take 'em! I don' wanna hear none of that pinko socialist "spatula parity" talk, neither. You want a collection of spatulae like mine you kin damned well work fer it like I did and my daddy did and my granddaddy and great-granddaddy did, ya long-haired commie hippie freak!

They'll git my spatulae when they pry 'em from mah cold dead hands!!!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:54 PM

open mike,
I am very concerned that you keep a spatula for the purpose listed above e.g. :-

because i thought it might be good for cutting brownies..

it is to say the least a crime to cut brownies or in fact rainbows or girl guides.
Seek Help!

Regards Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:00 PM

Cooks of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your ... spatulas.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:10 PM

is this a spatula I see before me, handle toward my hand, come let me clutch thee.

Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:36 PM

spatulas don't kill - people do

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:52 PM

"a spatula, a spatula, my kingdom for a spatula!

Regards Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 05:14 PM

We call them splatulas in this house....

3 French galette/crepe spatulas
1 slotted metal spatula
2 wooden spatulas
1 metal pallette knife, often wrongly called a spatula.


The galette spatulas are like the pallette knife but made of wood. One has a triangular end, the other two have round ends. Great for using on nonstick pans and in the food mixer where the bigger splatulas won't go.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 07:52 PM

A big plastic spatula for nonstick surfaces, a small metal one for bare metal, and a small & a large flexible one for scraping bowls.

When I was little, the flexible rubber ones were something new. When my mother bought her first one, she demonstrated it to me & my brother and wickedly said it meant there would be no more dish licks; so we hid it.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: "St Peter, I'm bored. May I try hell for a while?" :||

||: "You're there."                                     :||

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 08:12 PM

Okay, gang. This thread now has 85+ posts. It is time for us to begin thinking of evasive maneuvers to keep Flaminghole Red and His Band of Bungling Bungholes from sneaking in and capturing the 100th post.

As evidenced from his photo, Bill D has girded himself with spatulae and has taken a "ready to repel obnoxious shitbirds" stance. We could probably all learn a lot from Bill's example.

So, grab up your spatulas and post to this thread! We've all put a lot of work into making this thread the work of art that it is. Do not give Phlegmenco Ed an opportunity to make it just another steppingstone in his insane drive to make the 100th post to every Mudcat thread.

Thanks for your support.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:05 PM

"Thanks for your support."

That's the official slogan of National Hernia Week.

Startin' tuh git real testy here, IMO. All this talk of arming ourselves with spatulas and that there commie talk from Teresa an' Skipy quoting Bill thuh Bard. Rapaire has HIS heels dug in. I think he's serious. Don't mess with him. Yep, real testy.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tweed
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:38 PM

BeeDubya, you fucking idiot!!

Do you not see what you have done? 80-some posts to this dumbass spatula thread in about a day...that's gonna probably fill Max's servers in less than a year and we'll have to buy and sell more crap on the auction or do another CD collection to buy a new one. I can't believe you sometimes....and I have only one black plastic one that I bought at the local Publix. It was hanging in the cookware section and I knew I had to possess it. It will flip eggs, burgers, stir spaghetti sauce and if I had a cat I could strain cat shit with it as well.

Spatula....ahhh...I love it so....... so versatile. I wonder what the origins of the word could be, often! I wonder about it right now. Why spatula? Why?????

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:53 PM

why? You had only to ask! scroll down (this is the WWW! Everything of importance is here!)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:03 PM

To answer your question, Tweed, "spatula" is from the late Latin word for "spoon". It and "spade" share common origin. But there's no suit of playing cards called "spatulas". Yet...

Aw, man, whatta brainstorm! We can jack summa those sexy pictures of spatulas that Brucie linked to and make "Spatula Playing Cards"! We could sell 'em for $3.79 a deck and give all the money to Max so he can buy new hardware 'cause this idiot thread's gonna use up all his resources.

God! Sometimes I amaze even my own humble self.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:29 PM

Arise you prisoners of starvation
Arise, you wretched of the earth.
For chefs may thunder comdemnation
If spatulas prove their worth.
No more wooden spoons shall bind us.
Arise you slaves, no more enthrall!
Cooking shall rise on new foundations
We have been naught, we shall be all!
'Tis the final conflict
Let each stand in his place.
The spatula cooking class
Shall put spoons in their place!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:05 AM

Someone should put a spatula in the Mudcat auction.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:32 AM

And I almost bought another one today when the kids had me take them to the "Dollar Tree" to do some of their shopping. There they were, hanging in all of their black plastic and chrome-plated glory. A buck each. Pancake turners. Long handles with "triangle" shaped heads, like some described above. And slatted spatulas--lots!

If you ever decide to start a thread about ladels, I have a lot of those too. And I could also contribute some banter regarding various kitchen funnels, food graters, wine openers, and measuring cups. Much of this gadgetry I inherited, so it still has a slightly foreign feel in my kitchen. Oh--and my father was the KING of the Rubbermaid products, so if you want to look at plastic airtight containers, I'm your correspondent! (It wasn't enough to have the store-bought containers as containers, he also kept a lot of the plastic food containers, like yogurt and margarine tubs, because he used to buy a lot of fresh fruit every summer and freeze it in a couple of large freezers out in his shed).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:41 AM

I've done my bit, I've bulked this closer to the triple digit transition. Now you west coasters'll have to take it over. I'm off to bed.

Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:47 AM

Yeah, I was thinking about starting a ladle thread. Or maybe a "Does anybody actually use an eggbeater anymore?" thread. Or "Have you ever owned a potato peeler that worked worth a damn?" But I'm sorta leery of starting derivative threads anymore 'cause there are certain people around here that'll call ya "stoopid" and "dumbass" if ya do.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:51 AM

Flamingo Fred...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:51 AM

will never make...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:52 AM

the 100th post...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:52 AM

to this thread...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:53 AM

Har!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 02:37 AM

egg timers, cherry pitters, rolling pins, slicers, dicers, cookie cutters, and the latest kitchen gadget i got is a battery operated thingy from sweden to whip milk to a frothy foam..gadgets? I got 'em too...wire whisks, thingies to take eggs out of boiling water, grape-
fruit spoons, oh, my! nutmeg graters, citrus juicers...a tinker's delight..

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Noreen
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 08:20 AM

As requested- palette knives which I use in the kitchen for spreading icing smoothly on cakes, but I have just realised are named so from their use in mixing and spreading paint on and artist's palette.

I also take issue with some of you (Bill!) calling a spatula, what I would call a fish slice ... I suppose I would think of a spatula being used for scraping out a bowl, while a fish slice would be for lifting out of the pan, and serving, cooked food.
There again, I also stir things with my plastic fish slice...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler via the backdoor
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 09:31 AM

Leaving aside palette knives and fish slices I reckon we only have 2. One wooden & one plastic (are we deprived?).
Now...
How do you tune them?

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Noreen
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 10:09 AM

Come on Roger, you tune a fish slice with a tuna...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Brucie by the side door.
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 10:27 AM

"Leaving aside palette knives and fish slices I reckon we only have 2. One wooden & one plastic (are we deprived?)."

Roger, you ARE depraved. But I must be twice as depraved as you 'cause I don't have a single spatula--nor do I have any married ones.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Spatula Clark
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:20 AM

Huh?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:32 AM

Billions-- just look in the list in the African-American Spatulas Permathread!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,MMArio
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:36 AM

ow. oh, that hurts. ouch!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:54 AM

I bought a new spatula this morning for a buck, just in honor of this thread. If I didn't have to finish up and and get to work, I'd scan it and send a long a photo. Maybe later. It is good up to 430^oF (which isn't really that much if you're near a hot skillet, but you won't kill it with boiling water).

The items you enumerate above may not merit a thread of their own, but what about KITCHEN KNIVES? How many knives to I have in the kitchen? There are a couple of sets, then there are all of the little paring knives, the steak knives, the deadly fiddle-bow bread knife that I keep in the box and never use, it's so sharp, the fancy Finnish filet knives, the . . .

On the other hand, I have only two rolling pins. One I inherited from my great aunt's kitchen, out of some really heavy dark wood like rosewood, and has only one handle. And the thinner lightweight one. They have different uses, and I choose which to use by it's weight much in the way you might choose a screwdriver. They may have the same size point, but for leverage do you need a short driver or a long driver?

SRS

And if you stray into the tool drawer and the garage workshop. . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya...
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:01 PM

So that's what a fish-slice is! Blowzabella mentioned haveing two of them earlier in this thread but I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought maybe she had a couple of dried up old pieces of haddock in her utensil drawer. But I can see where the name could be appropriate. If you use your imagination a slotted turner thingie does sorta look like a slice of fish. Sorta... Like if maybe you've been hittin' the Bushmills bottle and/or the ganja pipe pretty hard...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 01:08 PM

Mmario, I had to. I've mis-read this as SPirituals so many times-- but then I often mis-type Spiritual as Spiritula.

~Susuan :~)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 04:27 PM

Just to be perfectly clear about what we're discussing here:
Spa^.tu^.la


Definitions of Spatula on the Web:

A small implement with a broad, flat, flexible blade that is used to mix plasters, elastomers and similar substances. Artists' spatulas are usually finer and more flexible, while cement spatulas are stouter and stiffer.
www.duke.edu/~mtb3/castingmanual/appendix_a.html

(plural: spatulae) Ground and polished fingers of soft stone (often slate) about five inches long and of uncertain use from the Bronze Age
www.halifax-today.co.uk/specialfeatures/triviatrail/a22_s.html

implement with flat surface, used to lay strands of hair on for colour application.
www.kamalsalon.com/sglossary.htm

a turner with a narrow flexible blade
www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn

a hand tool with a thin flexible blade used to mix or spread soft substances
www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 04:51 PM

Thanks for those definitions, SRS. They only serve to reinforce the idea that spatulaness is not an absolute, concrete, definable characteristic, but a continuum, a vortex as it were, of properties and applications. So, like the Tao, we cannot say with certainty what a spatula is. We can only measure an item against our own personal idea of spatulaness and decide for ourselves if a given item is or is not a spatula.

I am reasonably confident that a 1959 Ford station wagon is not a spatula. But, there are doubtlessly components of that 1959 Ford station wagon that could be used as spatulas if they existed in isolation instead of as parts of the car. Therefore, it could be said that a 1959 Ford station wagon exhibits a small degree of spatulaness. Its glove box door exhibits a somewhat higher degree of spatulaness. And that dustpan that was left under the driver's side seat when the thing was hauled to the junkyard is pretty darned much a spatula.

A bowling ball, on the other hand, exhibits absolutely no spatulaness.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 05:14 PM

ah, Bee-dubya-ell ...you have been hitting the Plato way too hard!

and Noreen...surely any spatula with slots does not qualify as a 'fish slice'?..(a term I did not know). I have only had one item that REALLY looked like what you posted....with slots being the major defining characteristic, and that angled fron edge. It died years ago.

I did have one 'palette knife' like gadget in my pic...good thing I didn't dig out the pie servers!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 05:50 PM

Pie servers are spatulas. Of course they don't think of themselves as spatulas. Just because they don't have to mess with uncooked foods and hot grease and because they're sometimes made of silver. Well don't let 'em fool ya. They're still spatulas. Just spatulas that got above their raisin's, that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 06:05 PM

ok, then...add 3 more to my count, two of 'em gold plated. (I don't have to take another pic, do I?)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:04 PM

GADZOOKS!!!! It appears that the spatulas are escaping from this thread! Just tonight, I've seen spatula references in several other threads! Yeah, sure, I put most of those references in those threads, but that's beside the point. I still saw them! And I have a sneaky feeling it's only going to get worse.

It may even get as bad as Flamingo Ted's insane desire to make 100th posts. I can see the possibility of people tripping over each other to be the first to stick a spatula reference into a thread:

I'm really offended that my next door neighor still has a 'Bush/Cheney' sticker on his car. Should I have a talk with him?

Hell no! Just take yerself a spatula over to his house at 2:00 AM and scrape the damned thing off!

This spatula infection could become a serious problem. Heck, it could be worse than the Margaret Thatcher blow-up dolls. It could even be worse than, dare I say it? Shatner! Nah! Nothing could be that bad.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Layah
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:08 PM

Ahh, with all these spatula references going around your just more determined than ever to oppress the spatula poor. Scrape the sticker off with a spatula? I can't! I don't have one of those kind of spatulas. I thought I could contain my shameful lack of spatula to one thread, but now it will be everywhere. Nooooo! Do not be so cruel!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:27 PM

Ah! But remember, Layah, that spatulaness is determined by the use to which an item is put, not by what some moron supposedly made it for. An old credit card (or a brand new one for that matter) can easily be used to scrape a Bush sticker from a car. Therefore, a credit card is a spatula if it is used as a spatula. So do not bemoan your spatula-poorness. Spatulas are everywhere! You just have to look for them.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:40 PM

hey! That BIG spatula in my pic....durned if it didn't prove useful just this afternoon! We had us this slushy snow the other day, and then some cold weather, and it left a layer of icy gunk on my driveway which resisted all efforts to shovel. ...so I says to myself, "self..."...(I call myself that at times).."...this icy gunk is a LOT like a batch of hash browns that is tryin' to stick to the bottom of yer skillet...and what do you do with them? Why, you draw lines in 'em with the sharp edge of yer spatula, breakin' 'em up into managable sections, then you kinda scrunchy-scrape 'em away from the pan!"

So I (the aforementioned self) did just that....chop, chop, chop...making a checkerboard of that gunky ice..(or was it icy gunk?)...then I just slud (as Dizzy Dean woulda said) that big 'ol spatula..(which just 'might' be useful for removin' old tile some day) under the chunks, and LO! asphalt appeareth!...

Now iffen it hadn't been for Mudcat and this inspiration of this thread, I mighta been out there with chemicals and old garden spades and a lot of cuss words! And I got Dick Greenhaus and Susan of DT coming down to stay with me Friday so as to make CAMSCO available at FSGW's one day mini-festival, and there will be a decent place to park and walk. Yessir...serendippity, thy name is Mudcat!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Layah
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:54 PM

Thank you Bee-dubya-ell you have shown me the light. No longer will I live in ignorance of my spatulas, but take each moment to remember that whenever I need one, there will be a spatula. In moments of peril remember, spatulas may come in disguise, but if you look into yourself you can find the spatulaness in whatever item you think about (except bowling balls)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:58 PM

You are gonna fit RIGHT in.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 11:59 PM

. . . but the residents of Pelucidar would find a certain spatulaness to bowling balls, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:06 AM

But I recommend a can of that Goop-Off or whatever it is called, made outa orange peel, in addition to the Spatula, Clark!

A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: dianavan
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:52 AM

Yes, Bill D, you do need to take another picture.

While I was counting my spatulas, this thread has deteriorated to include all sorts of kitchen utinsels. Thats called thread drift. Please stick to the topic.

If spatulas with melted handles qualify, I have the following:

2 flat metal
2 flat metal slotted
1 curved metal slotted (for fritters, fish, meatballs, etc.)
1 rubber spatula (somewhere)
1 curved metal slotted in the basement next to the litter box
l cookie spatula (palette)
2 puddy knives (they are technically spatulas)
2 dry wall spatulas
1 for glue
2 paint scrapers
and yes, 1 wooden spatula to which I am sentimentally attached because it was hand carved by a friend. It is flat on one side.

SIXTEEN !!!

15 if the melted handle is disqualified.

I laughed myself silly reading this thread !!!!!!!!!!

I think it would be a great name for a band. The Spatulas or...

The Fabulous Spatulas
The Multiple Spatulas
Spatula Deluxe
The Handy Spatulas...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 02:02 AM

The Scabrous Spatulas

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 04:13 AM

Bill, I would call all of the objects stuck into your belt fish slices'.
Those things held in your right hand I would call spatulas.

(...I would like to qualify the above statements to apply only to the fist picture of you linked to in this thread. Otherwise, you could post another picture of yourself with a bowling ball stuck into your belt and claim that it was then a fish slice. That would be silly.)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 05:16 AM

If I may, at risk of causing thread drift:

BillD, those spatulas in yer pants--I hope none of them are sharp. One guy to another.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Spatula Clark
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 05:42 AM

Don't Sleep on The spatula

You wander around in your own little thread
When you don't see the spoon or the fork
You walk out on me when we both disagree
'Cause to reason is not worth a cork

I've heard it all a million times before
Take off your coat, my love, and close the door

CHORUS:
Don't scrape in the subway, darling
Don't wipe in the pouring rain
Don't sleep on the spatula, darling
The handle is long
Forget your foolish pride
Nothing is wrong
Now, you're astride me again

CHORUS
(repeat and fade out)

this song was written by Spatula after a lover's spat.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Spatula Clark
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 05:54 AM

feeling scraped? spread around to far? chewed up and spatula'd out? you can always go.....

Downthread!

When you're alone
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go downtthread
When you've got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know, downthread

Just listen to the squabbles of the catters who are posting
Linger on the MOAB where the yankee cats are jousting
How can you lose?

The fights are much riper there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downthread, molasses and grapes when you're
Downthread, no rubbish place for sure
Downthread, everyone's waiting for you
(Mudcat)

Don't have a life
Or let your friends all surround you
There are cyber shows downthread
Maybe you know
Some little threads to post to
Where they never go downthread

Just listen to the nagging of a certain bossycatter
You'll be posting with the best and it will never ever matter
Happy again

The fights are much riper there
You can forget Barney Rubble, forget teddy bears and go
Downthread, molasses and grapes when you're
Downthread, no rubbish place for sure
Downthread, everyone's waiting for you
(Mudcat)Mudcat
(Mudcat)

And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you,
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

So, maybe I'll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares and go
Downthread, things'll be great when you're
Downthread, don't wait a minute more
Downthread, everything's waiting for you

Downthread, (downthread,) Downthread, (downthread, )
Downtown (downtown) downtown (downtown)
(repeat and fade out)

by Spatula Clark

aka Peculiar Clerk

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Mudspat
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:33 AM

Many people are aware of the "kitchen witch", but fewer people are aware of the "kitchen ceremonial magician." This is due to the fact that kitchen ceremonial magic had been a secret tradition for decades. But the time for such secrecy is past, since kitchen ceremonial magic can play an important role in confronting everyday domestic problems. For example, suppose you are unexpectedly called upon to prepare a meal for others, but are unsure of your ability to cook. > You will find it prudent to practice the time-honored ritual of kitchen ceremonial magic: the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Casserole. To prepare for this ritual, clear a space for the circle in the center of the kitchen. Then don your ceremonial apron and hold your ceremonial spatula in your right hand. Stand in the center of the circle and face east. You are ready to begin: With your spatula, draw a banishing pentagram to the east. Then, thrust your spatula through the pentagram and say, "Microwave dinners, be gone!" Move to the south. Again, draw a banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it. "TV dinners, be gone!" Move to the west. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it. "Ramen instant noodles, be gone!" Move to the north. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, "Mystery meat in a can, be gone!" Move to the center of the circle and stand still. Chant the following: "Before me, Martha Stewart. Behind me, Betty Crocker. To my right side, Julia Child. To my left side, Martha Stewart, AGAIN!" Visualize yourself standing in a giant casserole and proclaim, "For about me bakes the casserole, and around me shines the 6-course meal." Clap your hands three times and say, "Its a good thing." The rite is over. If the ritual is not effective, please order take-out ASAP

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Spankula
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:35 AM

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those." she said, "They're for the funeral."

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Spatulum Decrepitum
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:38 AM

There is some evidence, according to food historians, that the pancake (in this case, a simple water-and-meal confection) was the first prepared food.

In the ruins of an ancient (3200 B.C.) village in Crete fortuitously preserved by volcanic ash, an underground kitchen was unearthed which contained a bronze pan, a crude iron spatula, a leather apron with the inscription "Look on in awe, mortals --- a demigod is at work," and, stuck on the ceiling, the fossilized remains of 71 pancakes.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:38 AM

Oh, Spatula, your songs are just BEAUTIFUL!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Morgana Le Tray
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:42 AM

excaliburger, or, the spatula in the stone

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Petulant Bark and Spatula the Impaler
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:50 AM

Thank you, Amos, darling. and just for you..

Why is my spatula so light
Why is the barbeque bright
Why is my skin so blue
Since the hour I met you

Austin powers is smiling bright
Smiling for our delight
Smiling so tenderly
For the world, you and me

I know why the spatula is shining
shining so greasily
Its just the same old story
Thru all eternity

Love, this is my sarong
Here is a sarong, a senile maid for you
The soup cannot be wrong
If in this mix there's you
I care not what the menus say
Without a clove there is no way
So Love, this is my song
Here is a song, a supper made with you

Spatula the Impaler

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Homer Simstula
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:57 AM

Top Ten Signs You're at a Bad Barbecue

11. The spatula doubles as the flyswatter.
10. Everything on the grill has a long, thin tail
9. To avoid burning, chicken breasts are covered in Coppertone
8. The "cole slaw" is just mayonnaise and lawn trimmings
7. The three-legged race is won by a three-legged guy
6. Every couple minutes, the cook drops his pants and flips
himself with the spatula
5. Host tells you the burgers are 20% beef and 80% critter
4. The steaks have been sitting in marinade sauce all night,
and so has your Uncle Earl
3. You have to sign a legal waiver before you eat the potato salad
2. Things seem tense between your hosts, Frank and Kathie Lee *
1. The guests all have grill marks on their foreheads

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 08:41 AM

Make that one more if we're going to include cake slices.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 08:52 AM

BWL

Did you say you have two long-handled jobbies?

Shit!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:15 AM

Paint scrapers! Oh, my God! I forgot to include the paint scrapers and putty knives in my spatula count! In fact, I only counted what was in my kitchen utensil drawer. I totally forgot about my workshop and pottery studio! There's zillions of spatulate thingies out there! I'll never get 'em all counted! Maybe that's where the ones that are infecting the other threads are coming from.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:42 AM

Bee-Dubya, I was approached by a guy at work yesterday who had a question. That's not all that unusual, since I do work in a library, but this guy "had to talk to a guy" and most of the other people (all of them except one, in fact) are women. Anyway, this guy comes up to me -- he was a nice, respectable looking guy even though I didn't care for his cowboy boots because I felt they were a bit too dressy for his suit and tie -- anyway, he comes to me to ask about a very intimate, man-type problem. I took him into my office, closed the door, offered him coffee and/or the bottle of Bud Lite we found in the bookdrop box the other day, and a comfortable chair (not mine, another comfortable chair). Finally, after his second cup of coffee and a bunch small talk, he opened up.

Bee-Dubya, I really need your advice on this. I searched the medical literature, I checked the Internet, I even called the Medical School at the University of Utah. Nobody would talk about it, not even on the Internet (all the sites were blocked, and my computer isn't filtered!). PubMed simply said, "Disgusting condition. Sufferers should be pitied and euthanized" and that was all. The Med School refered me to a specialist, who hung up on me. Anyway, I'm going to bring it out into the open here in the hopes that you or someone can help. I've got a phone number where I can contact this guy (it's not his home or work phone, of course) during certain hours. So, knowing about the collective wisdom and fragrant liberalism and sympathy Mudcatters have demonstrated before, here's the poor slob's problem: he suffers from premature spatula, and he really needs to know what to do about it. It's ruining his barbecues and his wife laughs at his pancakes. Even his mistress and the cheap flozzies at the truck stop laugh at him when he makes a hamburger. He's barely hanging on.

What, if anything, can he do? What causes this problem? Can it be cured? The cost is no object to him -- he's filthy rich.

Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:38 AM

I can handle this, but it won't be cheap.

A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:50 AM

Ah, yes! "Early Flipping Syndrome". It's far more common than you'd think. The irrepressible urge to use one's spatula to flip a cooking food item before it's ready for flipping. The need to flip being more important than the reason for the flipping. Sometimes accompanied by a strong tendency to use sentence fragments even though one was an English major and damned well knows better.

While the origins of "EFS" are poorly understood, there are simple and effective remedies. One of the more successful has been this:

Obtain plastic facsimilies of the items to be flipped. If you don't know where to obtain plastic facsimilies of food simply go to the nearest Chinese take-out restaurant. They all have beautiful fake food in their windows. Just go inside, walk up to the counter and ask, "Where you get food in window?" about sixteen times until someone understands your question. When you finally get an answer (and please understand you may have to buy some real food in order to pry this information out of the owner) contact the fake food designer and have him make very realistic fakes of your favorite flippables.

Now, whenever you feel the urge to prepare a dish that involves flipping, you simply put the real food in one skillet and its facsimile in another. It is very important that you only turn the heat on under the real food! Then, when you get the urge to flip, just flip the fake food! Simple! However, it is vitally important that you do not get so wigged out with flipping the fake stuff that you forget to flip the real food at appropriate times. This may take a bit of getting used to. It is suggested that during the first few weeks of therapy one should make sure that one's smoke detector, exhaust fan and fire extinguisher are in good working order and that the number for the fire department (or fire brigade depending on one's orientation relative to the Atlantic Ocean) be prominently posted.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:52 AM

There's no way I'll ever track down all of the paint scrapers, putty knives, and tile-laying tools around here (thinset gets spread out before the extra gets scraped up again!) And what about gardening implements? My Korean hand plow? It can be used for scraping, scooping, sculpting, or very effective self defense.

I have stuff to do. I can't keep expanding my search for new spatulas! This must be limited to the kitchen!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:57 AM

PubMed simply said, "Disgusting condition. Sufferers should be pitied and euthanized"

true.

As Amos said, the cure is not cheap - and it is extremely lengthy - and the success rate is very very low. Premature spatulation is not a condition to be taken lightly. Total abstinance can sometimes prolong life - but tends to lead to social complications - and face it, the quality of that life suffers greatly.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:00 AM

Limiting stuff to the kitchen is a bad idea. She insits the bed is a better place. Although a spatula is good for body paint...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:10 AM

SPA TU L      A

or

S PA TUL      A

I knew this thread would end up in the bedroom. Just knew it.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:16 AM

SRS, that was one too far. A Korean Hand Plow is NOT a spatula no matter where you put it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:31 AM

It isn't a thermometer when you shove it there, either.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:38 AM

Noreen-- since I have never heard of a 'fish slice' before this thread..(yes, yes, you all had the language first... but you spring these little suprises on us poor colonists!)..I will continue to count all MY implements as spatulas....(and how DO you slice a fish with a plastic thing with slots!)

dianavan...I need to take another picture? Just to show my pie servers? well....ok, I'll go get them and.....wait....what's this? Oh, my! I just found 2 more spatulas of the sub-category "sliceur de Fische" hanging on the wall where I keep the seldom used BBQ equipment....I shall include them. I will return in a bit....

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 11:43 AM

I need to take another picture? Just to show my pie servers? well....ok,

never figured you for an exhibitionist, bill!

and remember - it's not the size of your collection - it's how well you utilize it!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:02 PM

I suspect that "fish slice" is derived from the way a slotted spatula slightly resembles a slice of, say, salmon. You know... The way the musculature in sliced fish forms positive and negative visual spaces... Kinda like the way we Yanks call a large pistol a "hog leg".

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:13 PM

...because the form of the shadows playing along it brings to mind memories of four-legged ambling through pigwallow, as though in a revery....

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:18 PM

SPATULA ENVY:

Dear Abby,

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:31 PM

Cooked fish doesn't take much slicing.
I have in mind a whole salmon, about 2ft long, lovingly arranged as the centrepiece of a beautifully laid table, accompanied by a delicate silver fish slice.

Now, to cook that salmon one needs a fish kettle....

that's a pretty kettle of fish

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:01 PM

My favorite salmon doens't need a pan or a spatula. Just a good apetite, a plate, and lots of napkins.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,just spatulatin'
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:29 PM

O-o-o-o-o-oh…

Let's sing a song for the spatula
The dullest knife in the drawer
So many like me can relate
So many like me can relate

Let's sing an ode to the spatula
Our fingers are saved from the blender
The angry saber-toothed blender
The angry saber-toothed blender

Let's sing a hymn for the spatula
It folds egg white into angel food
I'll cling to the old rugged spatula
I'll cling to the old rugged spatula

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:56 PM

I didn't get 'right' back, did I? Had to call and get my cable modem reset, as it was s----l---o---w......

anyway, here are the other spatulas WITH pie servers and one of them thinks it's a cheese cutter, but after Bee-dubya-ell so graciously included all flat objects in the definition, it demanded to be in the pic!   

and Bee-dubya-ell, I am NOT gonna dig up all the putty knives that were jumping up & down whining, "us too, us too...he said we could"..!! No one has enough computer power to view ALL my implements scattered about the shop....

BTW, Noreen...no, we wouldn't want to be silly

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 02:03 PM

and why it is not "fish sliceR"? (thought the menu soundes delightful..yum! Best meal I even had was braised Salmon in Hollandaise sauce..

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 03:06 PM

I called the guy who asked me the question and suggested that he contact the SpatulA Dysfunction Support Approval Committee (SADSAC). According to their website, SADSAC maintains a list of approved, Board-certified spatula dysfunction specialists and can even arrange (in extreme cases) for permanent "hospitalization." I also suggested that might contact Amos, who is willing to do disgusting, filthy, unspeakable things because he uses a Mac.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 03:15 PM

Though the cheese slicer might demand to be considered a spatula, it's a fraud. It's really a knife--as in a very exaggerated potato peeler that is really wide on one side of the blade. Tell it firmly to get back in the drawer. Try again if we drift into sharp implements.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 03:18 PM

And oh, Bill, didn't you accidentally get the Chef Amos gourmet cat box scooper in there by mistake also? Can you photoshop that out of the photo, or do you want to re-take it?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:12 PM

I have used one of those Korean hand plows before and it most definitely is not a spatula. A regular garden spade could be considered a spatula especially since, as previously noted, "spade" and "spatula" are derived from the same word. But the Korean hand plow is more like a cross between a pickaxe and a mason's trowel with a cramp.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:26 PM

Well if we're counting poop scoops as well, then this is just going to get ridiculous.. how about those slotted spoons for pasta? They're just pasta poop scoops.....

I've got one shaped like a dragon.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:31 PM

*grin*...SRS, you are just too durn perceptive: I thought I'd slip that one by.......I was wondering if Noreen would appear and call it a 'fish slice' (I'll bet the cat would like that, except we haven't HAD a cat for several years..)

Sure is a small step from one mode to another, ain't it? Maybe Plato was right about 'eternal forms'...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:32 PM

You mean a spork?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:40 PM

I want to hear more about how Amos convinced his family that he should retire the cat litter scoop implement and then use it for cooking. In most typical households, once something has been stored "under the sink," as it were (like the old toothbrushes that get used for scrubbing grout or polishing silver, or much groadier work), it doesn't get a second shot at the countertop.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 06:42 PM

Huh.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 07:18 PM

oh, I'll bet a spork would have made Plato rethink his entire philosophy! (unless they had spaghetti in Athens...that's what it looks good for!)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 08:13 PM

Well, I refused to look at this thread til today. God is good. Had to go to a memorial service for someone we've known for over 30yrs this morning. I was all gooped up when I got home. You've cured me. My sides ache. Tooooooooo much laughing....       Tw

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: dianavan
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 08:14 PM

That so-called spork is a pasta thingy!

...and Bill D, the cheese slicer can in no way be included.

Don't even mention the garden! All of my old kitchen utensils are out there. The serated knife works like a charm on weeds. But really, isn't a spade a spatuala? It scoops dirt, doesnt it? That raises my count to EIGHTEEN!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:37 PM

TW, you've come to the right place. I'd like to hear Amos' story, and I wonder what brucie meant by "huh." Was that a grunt or an editorial response? Between them there should be a few good chuckles left in this thread.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:48 PM

A "spork" is the plastic spoon with tiny tines that you get at fast food places too cheap to invest in real plastic spoons and real plastic forks.

Does the "grain shovel" I have count as a spatula? Or my snow shovel, which is flat? How about my paint scrapers?

If you count this sort of thing I have lots and lots more -- and they're mine! Mine!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:17 PM

SRS - You'd like to hear Amos' story? The entire thing from date of birth? Or did you have something a little more specific in mind?

And as for what brucie meant by "huh", well, what does Brucie usually mean by "huh"? Probably something different from what he means when he says "great flaming sardines sauted in yak fat", but not necessarilly so. You can never be 100% sure with that boy.

And Tannywheeler, we are touched that this drivel has brightened your day.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:18 PM

Liz, is yours like this?

A spork is often the little utensil from the fast food restaurant that serves as a fork or spoon, but can you think of a better name for the larger pasta implement, that is shaped like the bowl of a spoon with tines around the edge?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:46 PM

Foon?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:49 PM

I find myself agreeing with SRS. The thread creep here has been very disturbing. Perfectly normal people are seeing spatulas everywhere, and broadening the search could consume a lifetime of searching. A lifetime. Huh.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: darkriver
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:41 AM

Amos,

you wrote (waaaaaaaay up there): "this is the first original idea to appear on the Cat since 2001, April."

And what was that idea, pray?

Thanks.

doug

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:45 AM

Noreen!!!!!
How could I have missed such an obvious chance for a "joke"??

AAARGH!!!
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: jeffp
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 09:05 AM

OK, I finally got around to taking inventory.

Of the pancake turner variety: 3 nylon, 2 stove-sized metal and one BBQ-metal.

Of the scraper variety: 5 rubber with plastic handles, 3 silicone with metal handles

Miscellaneous: 1 fish slice, 2 spoonulas (or is that spoonulae?)

And here's my favorite way to prepare salmon.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

Wow! I've never been able to cook anything without getting the pan dirty. How'd you do that?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Cheese-slicer
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 09:20 AM

UTENSIL RIGHTS!

JUst because I have a blade in me you exclude me from spatulate glory! You some kind of a shape bigot? I can function as a spatula - and I'm as good as the next utensil!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:11 AM

A cheap all-metal one makes a dandy over-the-door hook. Bend the spatula section to go over the door, then bend the tip of the handle end up as the hook. The spatula end does a good job of grabbing the surface it's hung over.

So yes, my spatula is hung over.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Noreen
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:27 AM

Cruelty to spatulas...

And if a spatula is used as a hook, surely it is no longer a spatula?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: jeffp
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:31 AM

I didn't cook them in that pan. They were cooked in this puppy. One of the best non-musical purchases I've ever made.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:36 AM

"One of the best non-musical purchases I've ever made."

A steam engine?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:37 AM

Heck, Jeff, that is a musical purchase! Looks like you could raise hell on it at a drum jam.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:41 AM

Yup--that's what I was going to guess. Cooked elsewhere, with smoke. I use a Little Chief (Luhr-Jensen) top-loader. And if I remember, I spread a little oil on the racks so my spatula doesn't break up the fish that would otherwise stick when I try to remove it after smoking.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 10:54 AM

welcome to spatula city

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Noreen
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 11:03 AM

Wonderful though those salmon look .... this thread is drifting.

AHEM!

We are rapidly approaching that day of all days for spatulas: Pancake Tuesday.

Spatulas all over the UK (and further afield) and buzzing in anticipation.

Definitely not a day for premature spatula.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 11:13 AM

There's a guy in one of those photos flipping a pancake without using a spatula! Does the Spatula Union know about this? There's probably some little spat going hungry because that show-off is flipping his pancake directly in the air and bypassing spatulation.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Noreen
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 11:30 AM

Ah, but you need the spatula to loosen the edges of the pancake before the spatulaless toss. Skill!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: JennyO
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 11:35 AM

Have we reached spatulafication yet?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 11:59 AM

If the known, number I is near. Don't if that are limited. Spatulas, and here's the important, seem an as in for Grail, near in the mountains located.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 12:18 PM

ah, Noreen, I used to live in Kansas, where the annual pancake race was regularly featured, since Liberal, Kansas has competed with Olney, England for many years. It looks like Liberal has won several in a row, and still holds the speed record!

Perhaps a prize of a new spatula would speed things up?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Davetnova
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 12:58 PM

No spatula is required for pancakes, only skill.
After initial confusion I have 2 spatulas, one of flexible metal, an heirloom from my mother and one of wood for the mixing of things. I also have 2 fishslices which are rarely used for fish as I like to grill fish. I aslo have one spade, one shovel, and a dust pan.
My cat is too civilised to need a poop scoop and although I possess a pasta poop scoop I have yet to find any pasta poop.
I nearly forgot I have a plastic ruler which makes an excellent emergency mixing spatula.
Emergency spatulas are something everyone should have knowledge of. Your omlette could be in severe danger otherwise.( This is not a threat merely advisory)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 02:53 PM

I agree with Davetnova. Love to flip the pancakes without using a spatula. Helps to have a dog around for the misses.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:02 PM

Never had the nerve to try that non-spatulated pancake flip. My mamma always told me pancakes were for eating, not wearing.

Anyway, I prefer waffles.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:03 PM

We don't wave around hot griddles in my house, we use a metal spatula, though around here it is called by it's clinical name, a pancake turner. Mine was bought 30 years ago but is quite durable, made by Cutco.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

By the way, if Flamingo Ted or Bunny Boy or Heric the Red or someone wants to make the 200th post to this thread, they'd better hurry...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

TWO HUNDRED!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

200 spatulas hang on the wall. . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

shit

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:09 PM

Har! You missed! The 200th post was mine!

Did you hear me?

MINE!!!

Yeah, sure, it was just a dumb accident but shit happens...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:14 PM

As you say! At least it was you, not that rat's ass GUEST: _____________ .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:15 PM

Brucie, are you taking German lessons. In the sentences, spatulas and people putting placing flipping. ;)

Ok, syntax is not perfect. Mind your spatulas and flippers!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:18 PM

Thank you Teresa. Indeed it attention that mind. So, in, thanks again.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

Watchit! Or, as our dear missing but presumed still breathing friend Sir JoHn from Hull would say:

"THis is spatula thred, not sentax thred! Yu want sintax go find ssyntax thred! Now bugger off!"

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 04:40 PM

"Spatulas are rubbish!" is what jOhn would say. Then he'd tell us a goofy story of how a few spatulas were stuck in the spokes of that stupid bike that was thrown into his yard as trash.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 12:23 AM

I can't believe that people have actually posted to the "Man Urinates Way Out of Car" one but let this languish near the bottom. If he'd had a spatula, he wouldn't have needed to pee all over his car.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: *Laura*
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 02:10 PM

two.
i'm bi-spatual. :-) hehe

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 07:25 PM

arriving soon---pictures of my new spatula...
foto sent to jeff today...
it is a many splendored thing...
like the swiss army knife
or multi-pliers type tool
with many tools in one!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:07 PM

The leather man (leather woman) of kitchen gadgets
fine article of spatulism doodad

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 02:04 PM

Lurel, I am in awe! That isn't just a spatula. That's a work of art. It is to ordinary spatulas as VanGogh's "Starry Night" is to kids' fingerpaintings. Congratulations.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Jack
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:11 PM

I don't need no stinking spatula I have the
perfect pancake maker. All these years of eating pancakes cooked on one side are over.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:12 PM

Be still my beating heart.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:23 PM

I just have one spatula. Here's why!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:28 PM

Wow Peace

You can really stir things up with that sucker.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:38 PM

It's a multi-purpose tool. Kinda 'Swiss Army Knife' of the spatula world. It can also be used as a dining table, boat, cricket wicket, direction sign (something like a "Pancakes 'r' Us" advertising sign), and in a pinch, a conversation piece. Helluva handy tool.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:40 PM

I can't get THAT in my belt!..no fair!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:46 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:48 PM

I own 4 Peace !!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:50 PM

Really? WOW!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:53 PM

Yeah !

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:55 PM

U DA MAN 6 !

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:58 PM

I'm kewl, I'm kewl, I'm real kewl !!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:00 AM

Kewl don't do it justice, you freezing man.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:07 AM

Git Down !!

(doin a James Brown spin)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bard Judith
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:22 AM

How many, eh?

One metal one (not-allowed-to-use-because-all-our-pans-are-teflonated)

Two plastic ones - one large and wide and slotted... one small and solid and slightly scorched at the leading edge, giving it a space-shuttle-on-reentry sort of look.

Waaaaaay too many of the cheap wooden Ikea kind that start looking downright fluffy around the edges after being repeatedly washed and scraped across burnt eggs and washed again...

Does my chrome-plated pie lifter thingy count? It looks like a 'fish slice' and is spatulatesque...

How about my putty knife which is currently on the kitchen windowsill, and (I confess) has been used in spatuloid maneuvers when all the other ones were dirty?


And has anyone else ever used the lid of a CD case as a pancake flipper/egg easer/ meat turner? Or wrapped an old credit card in tin foil for the same purpose? 'Fess up, guys...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:31 AM

A cd case .... ??

Wouldn't there be an eau de plastique when flipping around the hot pan?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 02:33 AM

I have some bad news, folks. One of the spatulas I had when I started this thread is no longer with us. Yes, it has gone to that great Waffle House in the sky where all good spatulas go when they've flipped their final hamburger patty. The poor thing got left a little too close to a stove burner and... well, does the term "amorphous blob of soot-tinged white plastic" mean anything to you?

The spatula is sorely missed and any help you may feel inclined to offer to help get us through the grieving process would be appreciated. If you want to send some flowers, that'd be nice. Money would be better. If you don't have the cash, I take VISA, Mastercard and American Express.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Kaleea
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 02:55 AM

I believe I recall seeing something akin that years ago--sort of like two small teflon skillets hinged together which cooked everything from crepes to grilled cheese sandwiches & burgers.
   Ever notice that it is impossibe to find a real rubber (not plastic) spatula these days? Not to mention a metal spatula--if the person at the store even knows what one is. It is easy, however, to find el cheapo pancake flipper devices, especially the kind that melt in the pan.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Ingrid Frances Stark
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 04:03 AM

How many spatulae?
    Well, when Stephen Lee moved in with me we each had a full stock of kitchen accoutrements. I find at least 20 in the kitchen, but who knows how many may be hiding in as yet unpacked boxes somewhere in the basement? I think we fall well within the parameters of the spatula rich.
    Perhaps we could get together for a spatula swapping party, or establish a spatula bank for distribution of our excesses to those in need....

Ingrid

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:41 PM

Many of the [sic] rubber scrapers are made of silicon these days. They don't melt like the rubber did. So far I haven't murdered any to report back on what does take them out.

That turner-less pancake maker is just a cheap knockoff of a krumkake iron. You can make waffles with pancake batter on your krumkake iron, though I've never bothered to try it. I just make krumkake, and I use a pancake turner-type spatula to remove each cookie from the iron.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 01:49 PM

Expensive, these.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:03 PM

I'm sorry, Bee-Dubya, for the loss of your beloved. After I read your post I felt I had to do something to mark the passing of your spatula, and this being Veterans' Day I couldn't think of anything more appropriate than a twenty-one gun salute.

So I hauled out my Enfield, dug around until I found some bullets, and went outside to fire the salute. I also took my trumpet so that I could play "Taps."

After nine or ten shots the cops showed up. I explained what I was doing, and they agreed that it was a fine and noble thing, so they joined in. I went inside and got some coffee and doughnuts, and by the time I come outside again the neighbors were helping as well. By and by someone opened a case of beer, another feller brought a grill over and pretty soon we were having one heckuva funeral salute for your beloved spatula.

All in all, several thousand rounds were fired, if you include those by Crazy Eric, who brought his rabbit gun over. I didn't get to play "Taps," but a couple of guys with bagpipes did pipe "Johnny Cope," which everyone enjoyed a lot more.

Things kinda broke up after a flight of Idaho Air Guard Warthogs fired their salute into the ground. We figured we couldn't top that, go we all did a hand salute and went on home.

Those Warthogs sure did tear the golf course out back a new one, though. Lots more holes for the golfers to chose from now....

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:13 PM

I'm the current high bidder on a thunderbird at eBay, but it won't shoot holes in anything, including your golfcourse. I'll take a look and see if they sell spatulas next.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:50 PM

eBay search (may not be a durable link).

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:01 AM

Space Walkers Lose Spatula!>

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:05 AM

There was only one thing missing from the spacewalk: Sellers' spatula.

It flew overboard, off the right side of the shuttle's payload bay.

"No sign of the spatula. I think it's gone, gone, gone," Sellers said of the kitchen appliance, 14 inches long and 2 inches wide.

When Sellers was nearing the finish of his extended seven-hour, 11-minute spacewalk, mission control teased him by making him count his spatulas. He still had five left, from a total of 6.

"Rub it in, rub it in," Sellers said.

It is rare for spacewalkers to lose such a tool, but "it is no hazard to us," Gonzalez-Torres said. Nonetheless, military monitors of space debris were notified of the new hazard to track.

Gonzalez-Torres praised the duo for using the goo to repair five of eight mock test sites. The other three were there in case they had extra time to work, but they were sent to their next task.

I can see the art work now. . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: skipy
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:14 AM

anagram of

spatula, sellers, fossum

a leafless lotus mr puss
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 01:01 PM

"After I read your post I felt I had to do something to mark the passing of your spatula,"

Keriste, if he passed a spatula, we better have a moment of silence for his anal sphincter. Man, that has GOT to HURT!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 01:05 PM

And while we're on that topic, do you know why turds are tapered at the ends?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 02:37 PM

Yes, I know...but I'm sure I don't know the funny answer.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 02:46 PM

So yer AH don't slam shut!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 04:33 PM

Lost my spatula, what'll I do?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 04:34 PM

Skip to the loo.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Kaleea
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 04:54 PM

So, I'm wondering--just what does a spaceman's spatula look like? When they dropped it, did it make a sound? What does one say when one drops a spatula in outer space? "Whoopsie!" just doesn't seem to do it.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 06:26 PM

I bet there's no five-second rule out there, either.

No floor to hit!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:24 PM

Oh no! The poor spatula! Imagine how traumatized the remaining five spatulas in his collection are!   

I shall telephone my congressman and insist that NASA scrub the rest of the mission and mount a full-fledged rescue attempt! You know they'd try to recover it if it was something unimportant like a landing gear.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tootler
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 04:37 PM

I used to have three spatulas but now I am retired I have got rid of them.

The spatulas were of the sort you use in Chemistry labs btw

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 10:48 AM

You mean those flat little metal ones? Or others? (You may have to plug in a search term since this is an active server page).

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: MaineDog
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 10:58 AM

Not nearly enough!
I should have one flat metal one for each griddle and each frying pan,
and one little rubber one for each jelly jar and honey pot. Definitely need more.
MD

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tootler
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 06:41 PM

Yes the little flat metal ones, though one had a spoon at one end.

I see from your link that they also come in plastics these days.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 07:12 PM

Looking for a really useful tool?

I echo this assessment: "I've been using mine for over a year, and it shows no wear. It is easily my most used utensil in the kitchen, and has relegated many other tools to the Goodwill bin."



Check it out

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 08:18 PM

Looks like it could double as an axe handle.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 09:25 PM

Uh huh, a rubber axe handle - about as useful as a rubber crutch.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 10:11 PM

Okay, I'll take the plunge--

There are rubber-clad appendages items in the world that are almost wooden in nature. At least, for a while. . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 10:40 PM

I get the feeling that I'm serving up soft pitches for you SRS, I had better start putting some mustard on 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 10:14 AM

I think I like them plain better. Mustard might sting, don't you think?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 06:31 PM

My God! Unnoted, unreported!

This excerpt from the Associated Press:

...Last July, spacewalker Piers Sellers sheepishly reported that he lost a spatula. Nicknamed "spatsat" by space junk watchers, it returns to Earth in a fireball early next month.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 06:33 PM

"it returns to Earth in a fireball early next month"

That'll be one helluva lot cheaper than a cab . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 09:26 PM

We did discuss it, but it was probably in another venue.

This week I found two more tucked away in a drawer that I'd forgotten all about. I was searching because I needed something to reach down in a skinny bottle, and there, in the wrong drawer (no doubt put away months ago by one of my children) in a back corner were two fine slim silicone spatulas. I think they were a christmas gift last year.

Lucky me!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Sep 06 - 10:59 PM

...it returns to Earth in a fireball early next month.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate for a spatula to return to earth in a vat of hot canola oil?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: skipy
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 10:34 AM

Did you know that
"the british astronaut piers sellers"
is an anagram of:-
there's stars up here, it's so brilliant!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: MMario
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM

current ads are for Belgian copper cookware and Gelato supplies. How does google derive those from "spatula"?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:25 AM

You oughta see what it can do with the names of certain medical instruments!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 01:18 PM

As in how many specula do YOU own???

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: skipy
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 04:48 PM

on sale at Erotica 2006, but don't think I'll buy one.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:31 PM

Did you know that
"the british astronaut piers sellers"
is an anagram of:-
there's stars up here, it's so brilliant!
Skipy

Not a real one. There has been an apostrophe added to "its".

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 11:50 PM

Well, now, someone trot over with your little spatula and scrape that ol' apostrophe offa that word!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 12:10 AM

Fuckin' right.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 03:51 PM

That space spatula made the news again this morning. They talked about it on Weekend edition. Spatulas in Space! I can see it, the next cooking show on the Food Network.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 04:11 PM

You don't think that it would compete with Pigs In Space, do you?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: dianavan
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 12:21 AM

I forgot to add the snow shovel.

It works like a spatula but is it a spatula?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 01:24 AM

If you can you fit your snow shovel into a bowl in your kitchen and scrape the whipped eggs neatly and completely into the pan to scramble them, then I suppose you can count it.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tootler
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 04:50 AM

I wouldn't do any of those things with my spatula after what has been on it. Leaving aside the fact it is too small.

I found one of mine the other day. I thought I had got rid of them all when I retired.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 08:16 AM

Anyone remember Horace Spatula, voice of the Amazing Infra-Draw Method on Radio Luxembourg in the 1950's? 'I have personally won over three million pounds.........' For full nostalgic effect, read that out with the voice fading to a crackle of static half-way.) Now he was the man - nobody 'owned' him!

Sorry, Auslanders, it's a Brit thing, and elderly Brits at that. (retires hurt, humming 'By The Time I Get To Keynsham')

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 05:26 AM

Forgot to say.. bought a new one in Italy in May... a dainty little thing, just perfect for getting the last scrape of mayonnaise out of the jar.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:30 AM

Spatula World!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbCWmY0eqY&mode=related&search=

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: skipy
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:43 AM

They are going to need a spatula to scape those kids up if they don't put there seat belts on!
Skipk

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: skipy
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:46 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uikZ7FpbKs
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 13 May 09 - 01:02 AM

refresh...or turn it over once again...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbCWmY0eqY

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CupN28y-K24

www.pixelscapes.com/spatulacity/

http://www.virtualspatula.com/

http://www.cafepress.com/virtualspat

i suggest you avoid: http://spatulaofdeath.com/

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=78068#1399861

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=78044#1401202

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=78107#1400634

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=78086#1399527

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Gurney
Date: 13 May 09 - 01:31 AM

Her Indoors has a few of these uninteresting ones, but MY spatulas are good! One artists spatula, six plasterers, three bricklayers trowels, four scrapers (spatula type,) and then we get on to plasterers floats and other devices that perform the same functions, more or less....

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 May 09 - 06:31 PM

I'm not sure what that was about skippy--I skipped through it, but I don't think any of those characters is going to pull out a spatula when they have lightning bolts and slime to fight off giant whelks. Or did you put in a totally incongruous link just for the hell of it?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 09 - 08:39 PM

I was remiss on the day. Had to use a flimsy plastic spatula to divvy up Mum's pizza. With good purchase and care, it was accomplished without incident, but I shant take any more such chances. I shall be at the Dollar Store first on the morrow and purchase a number to avoid such future potential calamity.

Welllll, it's 5 to 0 for the Penguins and my regular chat is empty, so I thought I would regale you with my itinerary for spatulas next day. Yes, I do lead an exciting life. I shall be spatula shopping soon. Maybe... I only make pizza every fortgnight or so, so it's not like it's an emergency.

OH! The Caps just made it 5 to 1... must get back to the game as it gets exciting.....

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 31 Aug 09 - 09:19 PM

dangerous spatula (and many other objects, at that site)

8~)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 06:19 PM

My wife has at least one nice new one. She won it for bringing the most decrepit old spatula to a houseware party.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tangledwood
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 06:25 PM

Forgive me, I'm new to this. I have several picks, a capo and a metronome. At this stage of my playing do I need a spatula or should I wait until more experienced?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 06:43 PM

You don't really need a spatula until you're ready to "turn professional" and start earning a living from your music. At that point, you'll find that having your own spatula makes it much easier to find a day job working as a short-order cook.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 08:25 PM

Anyone have this one?

http://www.zazzle.ca/spatula_city_uhf_apron-154945780228990637

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Sep 09 - 09:05 PM

I own ONE. I found it today. It was stuck in the toilet bowl. Washed it and it works just fine.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:45 AM

You know, I've heard of working it out with a slide rule and a calculator and even a pen and paper, but...perhaps it's time to see a doctor?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM

broke mine cleaning the toilet bowl the other day. just can't count on anything these days.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 12:07 PM

EWwwwww, guys. Don't spoil your spatulas in the loo. Use your Scotchbrite pads for that . . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 02:34 PM

And then use them to clean your spatulas!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 04:06 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CupN28y-K24

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 06:45 PM

Spatula and Ring In Space

Every day people are coming up with new and interesting ways to pop the big question. Sending a ring to space, however, is a new one.

Using a perfectly good wooden spatula and a weather balloon as a spaceship, Shawn Wright rigged his fiancé's engagement ring to the vessel. He also, of course, attached a trusty GoPro in order to capture the whole thing on video. At the end of the clip, he asks his then-girlfriend to marry him.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 07:00 PM

awwww!

& I have 5 spatulas, 2 are small (1" wide) silicon items with plastic handles, the other are larger plastic spatulas with wooden handles.

I almost forgot the old one-piece rigid plastic spatula with my cleaning stuff.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 07:12 PM

The spatula as art medium.

Sealife sculptures at Exploration Tower in Port Canaveral, Florida, made entirely of plastic junk, including clothes hangers, parts of children's toys, and LOTS of spatulas

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 07:23 PM

Ours spawn one more every 10 years

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 07:23 PM

You don't see a guy for months on end, then you utter the word "spatula" and he turns up within a few minutes.

I'm sure those spatulas arrived at the aquarium through honest, and possibly disastrous, routes. Such as the contents of flooded homes washing downstream, and the spatulas rose to the top of the current to be picked up. Who would discard a perfectly good spatula?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 08:51 PM

Have spirtles (spurtles) been mentioned in this thread? (sorry, too late at night to trawl all the way through it to check---) Most Scots at least have one or more in their kitchen implement container(s)----

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 10:29 PM

I have one of those. Never figured out how it would actually work, there isn't much to it.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 02:24 AM

but they are very elegant and practical

sandra (who does not own a spurtle but will check out the woodworkers at Easter)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 09:18 AM

To borrow a phrase from Billy Bob Thornton's character Karl in Slingblade:

"Some call it a spurtle. Some call it a stick. I call it a stick."

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 09:49 AM

I own 8 spatulas. Two of them (small and yellow) were only used for cat food. Sad to say, we lost our dear Little Lady to kidney failure 10 days ago. I miss her.

Two other spatulas are large, strong, and can handle high heat. They looked like a good idea in the store, but proved to be of little use.   

Sometimes, especially when we are having a dinner party, all eight spatulas get used.

I think that a person can spend lots of money on a fancy stove or glamorous countertops and not add much pleasure to their cooking. But buying a $6 spatula rather than a $2 spatula will make a lot of difference.   
===========
About spurtles - are you sure someone isn't having you on? They look like bodhran tippers.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 04:29 PM

Please define "spatula," with pictures and diagrams.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 06:49 PM

Leeneia wrote About spurtles - are you sure someone isn't having you on? They look like bodhran tippers.

The Irish must have been inspired by the Scots!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: maeve
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 07:26 PM

Spurtles are real, and quite useful when you need to continually stir.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 07:29 PM

a spirtle/spurtle /spurtil is for stirring porridge (or anything else) while it is coming to the boil - which I imagine all Scots know.

- can also mean a wooden or iron 'spattle' for turning bread in firing

a spurtle-braid is a wooden 'spattle' for turning bread in firing

I hadn't heard of the spattle till I checked my Scots dictionary -- - maybe the precursor of a spatula?

NB Sandra - a spurtle is not balanced in the same way as a bodhran tipper! Definitely used for stirring

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 08:59 PM

The spattle-braid is for braided bread, presumably.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Gallus moll
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 09:24 PM

Dinna ken!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 10:15 PM

spatula (n.) Look up spatula at Dictionary.com
    1520s (from early 15c. as a type of medical instrument), from Latin spatula "broad piece, spatula," diminutive of spatha "broad, flat tool or weapon," from Greek spathe "broad flat blade (used by weavers)" (see spade (n.1)). Erroneous form spattular is attested from c. 1600.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: maeve
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 05:45 AM

"braid" in this case means "broad" rather than plaited.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Aug 19 - 07:31 PM

There was a thread at one time where we posted links to various items that we couldn't identify as far as function or name. It was about the time of this spatula thread, so I'll pull it up and if nothing else it's like old-home-week looking at who all posted. I'm willing to bet Bill D knows where the other thread is because he posted some pretty odd items there.

Photo 1

Photo 2

Photo 3

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 11 Aug 19 - 07:42 PM

I've never seen one but the "Stanley 66-525" from your photos reveal it is a "Stanley Hex-A-Matic", apparently a type of nut driver.

See This on YouTube

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stanron
Date: 11 Aug 19 - 08:03 PM

It might be an automatically adjustable nut runner. Push down to grip and then turn.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Aug 19 - 09:48 PM

That video shows it exactly. I could have looked it up but I'm working on something (putting my office back together after ceiling reconstruction) and just took time to snap the photos and load them to link.

This one came from my father's house, it has been out in my garage in a tool chest with screwdrivers and I only noticed today that it was something other than a reversible driver of some sort.

So what oddball tools are sitting there waiting to be discovered in your tool chests?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Charmion
Date: 12 Aug 19 - 10:50 AM

Oddball tools? I've got a dozen.

My favourite is the haemostatic forceps I swiped from my last military place of duty some 40 years ago. Amazingly useful.

There's also the brass pull-through for cleaning rifles, which makes a great plumb line, and a brad awl for making pilot holes. And a small hand drill.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Aug 19 - 03:41 PM

I inherited a few tools from my dad which I thought were odd, outdated or obsolete only to find, courtesy of Google, that they're still being made and sold, albeit in more modern manifestations.

These pics are of newer versions. Mine are 60+ year old antiques.

Radiator hose clamp pliers: I thought the type of clamp these were made for had been done away with years ago.

Split-blade screwdriver: The two blades get compressed together in the screw slot, holding the screw tightly for one-handed work. Better than magnetic screwdrivers because they work on nonferrous screws. But they're only for straight-slot screws.

Fence/chicken wire splicing pliers: I used to join pieces of fencing by twisting small pieces of wire. Now I use my antique pliers and clips. The pliers are only suitable for a specific type of clip, of which I only have 100 or so left. Once they're gone, I'll probably have to update to a newer version.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Aug 19 - 04:50 PM

I actually have a bunch of new spatulas since this thread first ran. Now that they're being made out of silicone and don't melt on the edge of hot pans I've expanded to various sizes and shapes. My favorite ones cost about $1.39 at the neighborhood restaurant supply store.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 12 Aug 19 - 05:44 PM

Only 1 in my small studio flat - game of inches!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Aug 19 - 09:35 PM

Couldn't open this thread the other day or I'd have agreed with the nut driver theory. I even have several similar or related items.

Yes...I have some odd tools. I'll see if I can get images of some.. (too bad the WWW changes so much that my spatula pics are gone.)

I also have a couple of kitchen gadgets that are not common any more.

I guess I'll have to remind myself that I have some Dropbox storage space to post images.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Aug 19 - 10:07 PM

As I move all of my office stuff back into my office (including my Dad's music collection) I found an item in a paper bag that I know is musical in nature, it's something of Dad's. I'll photograph it and post it tomorrow.