BS: Making cars smell bad

Subject: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrrzy
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 10:49 PM

What makes cars (the inside thereof) smell really, really bad? This is a revenge question. Thanks,

-Mrr

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: LilyFestre
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 10:54 PM

A body full of beans........

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 10:58 PM

Cat urine.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 11:02 PM

More, more, I'm still not satisfied!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 11:11 PM

ummm, this question is less about what makes 'um smell bad but how long you can make 'um smell bad....

Ya' gotta go fir the like the defroster ventin' because it's gonna be hardest to all to clean out....

So here's my advice... Get you a can of sardines and jus' drop 'um, opne by one, down the defroster vents which are up on the dash board and send hot air to the windshield...

(Oh, Bobert... This borders on terrorism...)

Nevermind, ignore my suggestion...

...unless this is down and dirty revenge, then go fir the sardines in the defroster vents...

(Caution note: This may "total" that car so be prepared to answwer questions that may be asked of you by the other parties insurance company...)

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 11:32 PM

Why do you want to know?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bert
Date: 16 Nov 05 - 11:54 PM

Well, once upon a time we had some feeder mice for the kids' snakes and one of them escaped in the truck.

It crawled into one of the heater vents and died.

The smell was dreadful for many weeks.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:45 AM

Hide some cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Gurney
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:45 AM

Bert, that was just collateral damage, does it justify terrible revenge?
If so, slide meat or fish into the heater air intake. The blowflies are an extra. If you use honey, it will attract bees. A small dead animal up inside the back of a seat is very hard to find, and it could have got there by itself.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Allan C.
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 06:48 AM

Shrimp might work extremely well. They are small and are easily strewn in odd places. I had a friend who purchased one of those prepared frozen shrimp cocktail packages, along with some other groceries. He then forgot about them because, unknown to him, the package had slid out of the grocery bag and under the driver's seat. He didn't have a need to use the car for a few days during that hot summer and so didn't discover the problem until much too late. One can only imagine the difficulties that might have ensued if the shrimp hadn't still been in the package.

Anyone I know, Mrrzy?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:19 AM

Gee, I was just gonna suggest prawn heads in the hub caps, but under the car seat or in the heater ducts would be nastier...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:54 AM

the old kippers tied to the exhaust used to work on cars at wedding (I stuck to confetti and chad). I often smell plastic bags when they have flown up and hit the exhaust of the car in front.

Modern cars are aerodynamically better in this respect so anything in the engine bay is a better target - where the smell can get up near the air intake. If you can find that - cat &/or dog pooh would linger.

If you have access to the inside - the world is your oyster - or sardine.

Personally I would go for the moderately annoying - and make it last for a very very very long time. Too much and they will solve the problem.

We would love to know the result but I guess this would be evidence - already is maybe.................. see ya in court.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Micca
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:56 AM

Spill some milk (full fat/cream works best) on the upholstery preferably where it could have happened "naturally" it decomposes to Butyric Acid which smells pretty bad, but, more importantly, perhaps, is VERY difficult to get rid of!!1

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:23 AM

Butyl mercaptan.
Any of the skatenes.
Butyric acid.
Several of the products sold as "scent covers" in the hunting section of your local gun store.

Don't do this. Revenge comes back tenfold.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Beer
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:31 AM

Micca I agree. Mikl is a nightmare to try and get rid of the smell.
But a can of forgotten worms can be deadly as well.
Beer

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:27 AM

I once forgot a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap which I had left in the glovebox. The car smelled bad for days until I discovered where the smell was coming from. By then the whole thing was liquefied. I have no idea what it was, but I couldn't believe how awful it smelt and how the smell lingered even after removal of the offending object. Not this car, fortunately.

Robin, it must be an Aussie thing - prawns in the hubcaps. It was the first thing I thought of. There was also the in-house revenge - prawns in the curtain rods.

Not sure where you'd put them, but one of the worst smells to me is bad potatoes. EEEEEEEWWW!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Beer
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:45 AM

JennyO.
When I was writing my note it also brought to mind the shrimp in the curtain rods. Now that was a great revenge story.
Beer

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Allan C.
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 10:21 AM

I just found this one. It doesn't involve smell, but it sounds like a candidate for revenge:

One of my favorites is to put a couple of ping pong balls in someones gas tank. The car will start just fine and will run for a couple of blocks. Then the balls will get sucked into the gas feed and cause the car to die. The balls will now float back to the top of the tank and he will be able to restart the car. This will be very frustrating to the car owner, espiality if he works on his own car. First he will replace the fuel filter then maybe the fuel pump. From there on out he will be pulling his hair out to figure out what to do next.

On the other hand, there are many other little ways to deal with unpleasant people.

I have never done anything of this sort and don't condone such activity. However, I have an active mind. I've often thought about fertilizing a foul word (in very large letters,) into someone's front lawn. It seems to me that if you use far more than needed, the fertilizer will at first "burn" brownish lettering. A month or so later, the word will appear in verdant splendor - much darker than the surrounding lawn.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: jonm
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 10:48 AM

Without condoning what you may wish to do:

I know of someone who placed two kippers in the car at a wedding, one under the back seat and one on top of the engine manifold. Half way to the airport, the smell of the cooking fish on the engine came through the ventilation system, they stopped and found that one. The other languished under the seat for two weeks in baking heat to brighten their lives on their return... They couldn't smell that one because of the other!

I do not believe the ping pong ball trick will work with modern injection systems.

Milk is a good smelly one and anything in the heater vents works well. They could be combined.....

Vomit in the heater matrix really lasts forever! That's the only one I have actually perpetrated, and that accidentally.

One really nice gentle one is margarine on the windscreen. It is really very difficult to shift and reduces visibility to the point of un-driveability. The wipers and washers just smear it etc. etc.

A German prisoner of war was used as a gardener for a lady in Suffolk and did a magnificent job for the last year of the war. The following spring, daffodils came up all over her lawn to spell "Heil Hitler."

A soaked carpet will allow mustard-and-cress seeds to grow, although they need to be left alone for a couple of weeks.

Should someone remind you of the liability issue if you cause damage, or an accident, as a result of your actions?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 11:18 AM

Also liquid fish fertilizer squirted down past the rubber seals of the opening windows using a baster or syringe, I'm told, works exceedingly well as a form of revenge. You don't even have to have full access to the vehicle. I know someone who did this.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 11:38 AM

In Montreal we always found that a body left in the trunk was easiest.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 11:51 AM

Mustard and cress seeds spelling out a rude word in the lawn is good, because it takes just a few days to grow and is not visible until the lawn is mowed, when the white stalks will glow like a beacon!

If you really want to stink the car out, get a baby. Our car was never the same after the Limpit treated it to one of her projectile vomits at 70mph down the motorway.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 01:05 PM

What an inventive bunch you all are!

I still want to know why this information is required.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 01:22 PM

You guys are great - I hope you never get mad at me.

Stilly River Sage, a friend asked me, and I didn't have any good ideas, but I thought I knew where to get some, and boy, was I right!

This has nothing, I repeat nothing, to do with the friend of 18 years who stole my checkbooks and wrote thousands of dollars of bad checks, since I didn't have thousands of dollars in my checking account (or anywhere else, for that matter). I am still trying to figure that one out (see the I was Robbed thread somewhere in the not-too-distant past).

Really, it isn't about her.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 01:28 PM

Right. Check the trunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Kaleea
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:09 PM

Might I suggest a rather powerful WMD such as a fully loaded, used baby diaper.
    If one wishes to accomplish this in a completely innocent manner, one may catch a ride with and bring a baby into the car owned by the axis of evil--but before doing so, be certain that the baby has a diaper which fits improperly &/or is improperly fastened. Better yet, bring the baby and, when you get a few miles down the road, explain about the new, diaperless method of potty training which is all the rage now.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:27 PM

Oh, just leave a Cleveland Steamer on the back seat.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 02:28 PM

Or a Hot Carl in the ashtray.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 03:38 PM

Don't forget to hide something else really incriminating or embarrassing at the same time. Then you achieve the double whammy . She asks her boss/boyfriend/mother to help her locate the stench in the car, and they unwittingly uncover her copy of 'HUNG LIKE A DONKEY.'

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: LilyFestre
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 04:28 PM

ROFLMAO...OMG....LOLOLOLOL

That is just BAD BAD BAD....and DAMN FUNNY!!!!!


Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 06:30 PM

Ah yes... an obviously not yours item of underwear (the pinker and fluffier the better) can work wonders when hidden under a seat.... as can a set of handcuffs and a roll of duct tape in the boot.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: LilyFestre
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 06:32 PM

Handcuffs? *PERK*

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 06:46 PM

Oh, for heaven's sake! Why be so inventive when you don't need to? There is ONE thing that makes many, many cars smell just awful. It used to make virtually ALL cars smell awful, but now probably about half of them. Maybe even less than half.

Cigarettes.

It's that simple.

Yes, there are other things that can add to the rotten, stinking residue inside a car, many other things, but the number one and worst of them will always be the enduring aftereffect of a few thousand butts smoked in a small enclosed place and reeking forever and ever in the stinkin' ashtrays. Every now and then, the ashtrays start to overflow. Then the person who drives the car dumps the whole friggin' mess all over some grocery store parking lot and starts over again. It's a lovely sight, almost as lovely as the smell inside the car.

If it's revenge you want, though, you need a quick fix. I think the cat urine already suggested above is the A-bomb of bad smell quick fixes. It's so damned hard to eradicate.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 06:52 PM

quick fix? Have you ever tried to get a cat to piss in a bottle or anywhere else you want it to on demand, for that matter?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:03 PM

Things that have genuinely made my car smell bad =
A spilled pint of milk over the carpet
The French cheese my friend insisted in buying in the south of France to bring home to Wigan
A very wet Old English Sheepdog
Dreadful women who douse themselves in even more dreadful perfume - believe me Little Hawk cigs are nothing compared to that!
Oh! and the chicken I forgot in the boot for a couple of weeks

BTW anyone want to buy a second hand car? - one 'careful' lady owner :>)

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:04 PM

It's not that hard. Most cats are terrified of being inside a moving car, specially with a complete stranger. The solution is simple. Put such a cat in the car in question. (Raise all the windows first.) Turn the ignition key and drive fast around town, taking the corners HARD. The cat will have pissed the car within 7 blocks or less, and you can then check into the local hospital and get your face and torso stitched up...

It works even better with 5 or 6 cats.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:12 PM

Sounds more like masochism than revenge to me. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:27 PM

For a friend's wedding - I did the car. If you remember the old teletype machines, they used paper tape. The chads from this were tiny - 2 sizes small, and very small. A cupful of this inside the front air ducts worked well. They went on a month long drive around honeymoon thru Tasmania. 3 months later, every time they turned on the air con, still out would fly a couple of chads...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:38 PM

I spent several days looking at this thread title and vaguely wondering what is was about, but having this nagging feeling I didn't need to know...tonight I was bored, and I'm sad.

blah! Not only about the ideas, but about the purpose. No one needs that kind of revenge. I have heard of NON-destructive smelly practical jokes..(Limburger under the dirt in a flower pot, mt father told me)...but actually planning things which could cause $$$$ detriment to the car?

Sorry,...not my idea of funny OR revenge.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:39 PM

And speaking of masochism, this should probably be on the Kimchi thread, but I was once given a number of cabbages by my Mom from her garden, that I put in the trunk of my car and forgot about.

This was bad, but not to the point where I had begun to notice from the interior. To make things worse, over the next month or so, it rained, in fact it rained a lot and the hood on the trunk of my car leaked...badly.

One morning I drove my kids to school and had to break suddenly. When I slammed on the brakes, a great wash of water poured out from under the back seat and filled the floor of the car. Along with the wash was the the most horrendous stench I have ever smelled in my life and my poor two little girls surounded by it all. I not sure they have ever forgotten or forgiven.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:49 PM

How not to make Kimchi

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:50 PM

oops

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:03 PM

If you or anyone else is going to screw up someone's car that person should be ready and willing to take the consequences. These can range from vandalism up. Civil action could also be involved.

Whoever wants to do this had better be ready to be caught and punished, probably in several ways.

I'd suggest doing something else, like forgetting about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:12 PM

O,r as in my case, take revenge on yourself. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:48 PM

Let's be clear. Anyone who would actually do any of these things to someone else's car should be subjected to the Lithanian Zambezi Treatment, otherwise known as LZT.

LZT : Sieze the person in question and tie them to a wagon wheel. Rotate the wagon wheel around and around while pelting the prisoner with every sort of foul rubbish and verbal abuse. Then roll the wagon wheel down a hill into a swamp or a tar pit. Leave them there for 24 hours to ponder the perils of sin. Make sure they don't drown, however. That would be too easy on them. When the 24 hours is up, ride them out of town on a rail, as was done in the Wild West to frauds and troublemakers of the worst sort.

That, in fact, was why I suggested the "cat in the car" method in the first place...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:59 PM

OK. If you don't want to put a body in the trunk, then don't.

However, if you are having a problem with someone, why mess up a perfectly good car? Deal direct. Otherwise, forget it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 01:17 AM

Well normally I would agree with you. However, having never had the personal inclination to consciously or deliberately and with malice and forethought, seek revenge, that I can recall, nor probably the balls either, in the case I mentioned first in this thread, I would make an exception. I don't think it is appropriate to tell tales out of school about this one so I won't elaborate further.

If pressed to judge, in some legal or quasi legal circumstance, I would find the perpetrator guilty, but rule that justice had truly been served and suspend any sentence.

However, legal recourse regarding righting the wrong, because of certain inequalities in the society in which I live, would never have come about.

I'll instead LMAO and comfort myself that at least one economically protected, sociopathic individual got his just desserts in the here and now in this case and take my karmic knocks.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 07:02 AM

Just lay a few strips of bacon on the engine block... an old honeymoon trick my dad told me about.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 08:58 AM

Well, if you must do something AND you're willing to take the consequences:

* fast-drying epoxy or superglue in all the locks. Gorilla Glue would also work. (Also good for gas caps.)

* you can buy doe, fox, and other urines in a hunting store, like I mentioned before. Also skunk.

* lots of Liquid Joy dishwashing detergent in the gas.

* a tight-fitting paper cup over the exhaust pipe.

* a condom full of dog poop up the exhaust pipe until it falls into the muffler.

* a road-killed skunk wedged up into the engine block.

* a piece of rubber carefully laid across the engine.

Bad karma and worse will fall upon you if you do any of these things.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:49 AM

I was going to say that kippers and plastic on the exhaust can't be removed easily and it lasts a bit. Plastic (the right kind) can be very annoying because you may not clock the cause and worry about engine trouble..............

a potato rammed into the exhast can cause the engine to fail to start - if it does pop out it makes a noise but it only lasts a few hours -

Can laid-back folkies be such a devious lot?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Peace
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:13 AM

Pu some sugar in the gas tank.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

I'm afraid sugar in the gas tank is a myth.

Sugar in the gas tank

This popular trick was recommended as a way to destroy an engine, causing great expense to the recipient of one's revenge. According to proponents of this act, the sugar turns to syrup in the gas, burns and melts, thereby destroying the engine.

The truth: Won't work! Sugar doesn't dissolve in gasoline, so it just sits there on the bottom of the fuel tank. The only way to stop an engine with sugar is to pour so much of it in the tank that the fuel pickup draws enough to clog the filter.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: kendall
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

I've never hated anyone this bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:56 AM

It will, however, almost certainly plug up the fuel filter and stop the car from running. And, depending upon how much sugar you dumped in there, you might have to replace the fuel filter -- and get stranded -- several times before you clear it all out.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:06 AM

Let's not get too serious here, folks! Remember of whom you write...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:18 AM

I know how to blow up a gas tank -- with a time delay, no less -- using common things.

But I ain't gonna tell you, not here or even if you came around and begged and pleaded. Somebody could get hurt or even killed with that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Micca
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:45 AM

anyway, sugar in a gas tank is passé try Diethyl ether only about 50 mls is needed, it burns so hot it damages the valves, but be warned at a lab where I worked one of my co-workers was having sporadic problems with his car and asked us (the Techs) if we could check a sample of gas from his tank for water content, We did and were able, not only to tell him that someone was p***ing in his petrol tank, but that the p***er was on his way home from the pub (probably) and that he had a kidney problem!! all from the metabolites visible on our gas chromatograph trace!!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:55 PM

When I was about 3 years old I helped my dad 'put petrol in the tank'...

Yes, water, but the real killer was the lumps of concrete! Better than sand, cause you think you got it all clean, and then you start driving again, and the lumps roll around and more chunks break off!

The solution (in the 1950's) was to take out the petrol tank cut it open, clean it, and oxy weld it. BTW, welding petrol tanks is NOT a job for the ignorant... you have to FILL it with water... no vapour must be left.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: LadyJean
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 01:27 AM

I remember when my cousins the dairy farmers presented my cousins the health food devotees with a nice big bottle of moo juice fresh from the farm. It spilled all over the back of their car, on a warn June day, and it didn't take more than an hour to stink. Then there was the time I went to Maryland with a couple of friends. The guy we were driving with picked up a bushel of crabs for his mum. A week later you could still smell the car before you saw it.
Of course if you can find an unneutered male cat, eu de tom is extremely pungent and it stays!
But here's my suggestion. Take one tablespoon of, ordinary white sugar, sand, unmoistened concrete, or equally troublesome substance and sprinkle, liberally, around the gas cap. Take one bag that formerly held five pounds of the same troublesome substance and leave it beside the gas cap. Pray to the God of Garages that your victim's mechanic is a crook, and enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Tam the man
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 08:18 AM

Cats, dogs, farting, pissing, shitting, being sick. the list goes on.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 10:29 PM

The ping-pong-ball-in-the-gas-tank trick won't work on most cars (at least, in the US). A ping-pong ball is 40mm in diameter (roughly 1 9/16"). Since the mid-1970s, all gasoline-powered vehicles sold in the US have been required to use unleaded fuel. The filler spout on an unleaded pump is only 13/16" in diameter and cars' filler tubes are built so that it's impossible to get anything larger than that into the gas tank. You could do it on an older car or a diesel-powered vehicle, but not the vast majority of modern cars.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:49 AM

Common among drunks - to open the un-locked doors and piss onto the floor or into the upholstery////of ANY car parked in the neighborhood of the game.

A whole chicken stuffed under the passenger side dash-board leaves a horrific smell for weeks after it is discovered.....best done in the warm months of the year (for excellerated putrifaction) and wrapped in a towel to delay identifying dribbles.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:51 AM

chicken livers are smaller and eight of them (one pound weight) may be tucked into trace recesses of the vehicle....the odds are slim the vehicular users will discover ALL eight.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:32 PM

dead people smell bad after a while.

use a dead person that has not been embalmed though.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,12stringstan
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:55 PM

a really nasty one here, but it takes a unique situation.

In work one day a prankster tied a 30ft length of rope to my rear bumper, and the other end to a metal barrell, i then left for home snaking the rope and barrell behind me. needless to say i realised it fairly quickly. My REVENGE however was sweeeeet!

I had only recently bought my house, a rural country cottage, in which 2 elderly people who had passed on had lived previously. Down the end of the garden was the remains of an old chicken run, and when i eventually got down to see about knocking it, i found 4 eggs. Christ knows how long there had been there, but they were walking with decay. I carefully transferred them to a little cardboard box, and brought them into work. My prankster friend just happened to use a cushion on his drivers seat, so i swiped his keys, fired the eggs under the cushion, and returned the keys, without him knowing. That evening he jumped in to go home....... c.r.u.n.c.h. Nothing could describe the smell that resulted. He even had the entire interior proffesionally cleaned and 3 to 4 months later the smell was still oozing from his upholstery.

He must be a good sport, as he know's i done it, and we still get on fine! Just don't mess with the big boys!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 11:57 AM

Pack a good quantity of fresh dog shit in under the outside door lift handle. Gets in under the fingernails.

So I've been told.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 09:20 AM

I had the misfortune to inherit a company car from a fired employee. He knew he was going to be canned so when time came to order a new car he paid for all sorts of extras - putrid green car with baby shit brown soft top, green and brown plaid upholstery - people would point at me when I drove down the street. But the worst of it was something dead and foul left or spilled in the trunk. I never found it and never successfully covered up the odor. Every time I opened the trunk I had to hold my breath.

And what did he accomplish? The company didn't care. I, who never even met him, dealt with the mess until time came to order a new car. He however has that nasty little blight eating away at his psyche 30 years later. Not worth it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Pomdapi
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 10:49 PM

Try forgetting a Jamba Juice in your car and letting it rot. Not only is the intial stench hard identify, but even harder to get rid of.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 18 May 06 - 07:21 AM

Wahts a Jamba Juice?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: mandotim
Date: 18 May 06 - 08:08 AM

Lend the car to DuellingBouzoukis, who has something of a reputation in this field...
(Sorry Chris!)
Tim

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: HuwG
Date: 18 May 06 - 08:57 AM

A story from the Metropolitan Police (London). Someone had the habit of parking an expensive car on double yellow lines (meaning you can't park there at all. At all), with a dog in the car. Cars cannot be towed away if there is an animal in it. As the car was registered to a company, the driver could afford to scoff at fixed penalty notices.

One day, the police fed a bar of Ex-lax chocolate to the dog through the slightly open window. The car never reappeared on the double yellow lines.

***

A slightly related story refers to the new Skye Bridge, in Scotland. The bridge replaced existing ferry services. The ferries were unreliable and refused to run in bad weather, but were cheap. The tolls on the new bridge were downright extortionate. There was an exception; there were cheap rates for vehicles transporting livestock. As a result, practically every car running between Skye and the mainland had a sheep in it. Heaven knows what the cars smelt like after a few round trips, but in the eyes of most Skye inhabitants, it was worth it, and the sheep didn't mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 06 - 04:59 PM

The answer is: limburger cheese. Under the floor mats and/or under the seats.

Do the ferries still run to Skye?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: HuwG
Date: 18 May 06 - 08:37 PM

No, the ferries no longer run to Skye; but the islanders no longer pay tolls. See Skye Anti-Toll campaign page

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 06 - 07:03 PM

Esrom cheese can clear a room in seconds!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 02:27 PM

OK, this was an accident, but about a gallon of really good bourbon got poured into my trunk... the car smells like a distillery, but am I also a fire hazard?? Or should I toss a lit match back there and burn off the fumes?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 03:25 PM

How does one - by accident- pour a gallon of whisky in a car's tank?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Partridge
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 03:29 PM

Give a lift to my friend Monicas dog   - it has a bad farting problem ............

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: kendall
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:37 PM

I'm told that permanent anti freeze in the oil sump is fatal to an engine, but I wouldn't know first hand. I'd never do such a thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Bee
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 11:32 PM

And people wonder why some of us prefer to remain anonymous on tha intarwebs...

Some of these are hilarious, but I will second the rotten potatos suggestion. They smell like nothing else on earth, and the scent lingers forever if the oozings have soaked into something you absolutely must keep.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Scoville
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 08:54 AM

1. Pour a half-gallon or so of milk into the carpet. Close all the windows tightly and let it sit in the sun for a day or two. (We did this once by accident when a grocery bag fell over.)

2. Flood it.

3. My friend swears that the worst thing you can do to somebody's car is put hoof trimmings in the air vents. She says it smells rank and it's very hard to get the trimmings out again once you've put them in there. I've never disliked anyone enough to try this myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:07 AM

Go to Home Depot. Buy 4 huge bags of red colored mulch. Go out in the rain to have the bags loaded in your trunk. Find out that there are no employees to help. Load them your self. Make sure you leave them in the trunk due to torrential downpours. Remove bags of mulch once they are well drained.


I found that along with a good cleaning with pet deoderizer, put some mulling spices in car pockets and empty ash trays.

Smells like Christmas.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 04:36 PM

I was bringing home all the non-empty bottles of booze from the camping trip, one of which (extra-high proof Jim Beam) was one of those huge bottles and was almost full. Somehow that one bottle worked its way out of the case, and opened, so that by the time I got home (a 4-hour drive) it was bloody near empty, maybe one drink left.

I really do wonder about the fire hazard - maybe I'll go back on Car Talk...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Kaleea
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 05:42 PM

Q: Who knows what evils lurk in the hearts of men and women?
A: The Mudcat knows!

I've always been known as the kindly, straight-as-an-arrow, upright and proper woman who would never do anyone ill.   Naturally, those who know me well know that I do not do anything which would cause serious harm or financial hardship on another. Therefore, my neices and nephews were flabbergasted when they read some of the stories I had written, as some involved heinous activities on the part of the main characters. One of their favorites, a somewhat tame one, has the poor, innocent weakling of a small girl and her crippled Grandmother being treated in a shabby manner by a wealthy real estate mogul, even to the point of the little waif being forced day and night to weave silk & 24 carat gold thread seat covers for his Rolls Royce car seats. By the end of the story, the poor girl & Granny have a lovely home and plenty of money, but the Judge & IRS have taken almost everything from the mogul who was barely allowed to keep his beloved Rolls, who for the life of him can't figure out why his Rolls is such a smelly thing. Meanwhile, Granny has a terrific grin on her face watching the evil mogul sniffing the air around him as he is seated atop the seats which, unknown to him, were stuffed with his own stinky socks, & with covers woven from the silk of silkworms which were fed only on leaves of mulberry bushes fertilized with lindberger cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Scoville
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:17 PM

Oh, I have vivid memories of Limberger. My grandfather loved his stinky cheese and when we were with my grandparents, he and Dad would try to convince me that it was God's gift to dairy products.

They never succeeded. They did convert me to sauerkraut but Limberger was just too much.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Sep 06 - 12:37 AM

can't even buy it here

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 09 Sep 06 - 03:53 PM

Per the cops, it's not a fire hazard because the actual alcohol evaporates... whew!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 12:19 PM

Once, after I'd been shopping, I managed to leave a head of broccoli behind in the boot (trunk) of my car where it lay undiscovered, for a couple of weeks, among all the rubbish (trash) that tends to accumulate in the boot of any car of mine. The smell got pretty bad until I eventually found the broccoli.

I once had a boss who was the most evil person I've ever met - a foul-mouthed bully. I sometimes used to dream up ways of getting revenge for the way he treated me and others in the department (but never actually put any of the plans into action). One such plan was as follows: this evil git was quite a heavy drinker and used to have a longish trip home down the motorway. I thought of putting a piece of tape across his rear numberplate so as to partially obscure it. The tape could be roughly stuck on, perhaps diagonally with a long trailing end, so that it would look as if it had been thrown up from the road or something. The rest of the plan then depended on the police stopping him for having an obscured rear numberplate and perhaps breathalysing him (?) ... no, it would probably not have worked - there probably wouldn't have been a policeman in sight (they're never around when you want one!).

Plan B was a bumper sticker reading "kill-a-cop-a-day".