BS: Beat telemarketers.....

Subject: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 11:36 AM

... at thier own game, with their own tricks!

Too entertaining to NOT share

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 11:50 AM

Oh that is SOOOOOOOO good.....

We've learnt that if there is a brief silence before the person speaks, it's a telemarketer and in that silence I usually say something like 'I'm happy with my mortgage, I don't want to change my phone, our utilities are the cheapest around and I have life insurance already. We have no more windows to double glaze, no more gutters to fix and nowhere to put an extension. If I've missed anything, please let me know later because I'm eating my lunch.'

But I think I may use the questionnaire... it's much more fun and intrusive!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:06 PM

ahhh...it would have been lovely to have a few years ago, but in the USA, I have joined to 'opt-out' list, and have only had one call in a couple of years now. I forget sometimes what it was like to KNOW supper was going to be interrupted......

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:09 PM

I find anyone phoning me a supper time very annoying.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST,Old Guy
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:13 PM

I got a Telezapper. That knocked out 95% of them.

You can find them cheap on Ebay.

When you do get a call just say What? wait a few seconds and say What? again. Repeat this a few times and hang up.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: pdq
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:27 PM

Did Ferlingetti take a day job?

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:29 PM

If the telemarketeer is male, I get in first by saying I'm glad they called, because I'd like to ask them if they've welcomed Jesus into their life (and I've enjoyed some decent theological knockabout on occasion).

If they are female, Oakley has trained me to adopt a quiet, low tone and ask them lasciviously what they are wearing......

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 12:39 PM

SO it was YOU Skippy...... I wondered about that... The Inland Revenue is not used to such calls, and some of our staff are delicate little flowers. Can you call again, tomorrow at about 2.30, and I'll pick up the call myself.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 01:49 PM

awhy do people feel obliged to answer phones. I rarely answer mine. In fact, I often disconnect it if I don't want to be bothered at certain times. I think that the best way to foil marketers is just don't answer the phone at supper time.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:07 PM

Disconnect it ... tried that ... then you forget to connect ... Telemarketers usually invade us during the day when we are out working .. it's people that you know that insist on phoning between the supper hours of 5 to 7 (even when you tell them not to phone then).

I don't answer also ... but the sound of the phone ringing and ringing that gets to ya.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:09 PM

"then you forget to connect"
Maybe YOU do, but I've never done....

"sound of the phone ringing"
That's what "Call Answer" is for... after 3 rings it goes to voice mail....

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:17 PM

3 rings is eternity when when your not going to answer.

I'm glad you never FORGET Clinton ... why would you FORGET when you never have anything else on your life to distract your attention away from reconnecting your phone.

Anyway ... how's the weather in Windsor today?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: bobad
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:27 PM

When I pick up the phone and say hello if there is no immediate reply I hang up. Most of the tele-marketers use computerized calling devices and there is a delay by the time they get to you. Haven't spoken with one for ages.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:32 PM

Like BillD, we are on the national "do not call" list. It works pretty well...except that the damned politicians exempted political advertising from the prohibition!

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:40 PM

Sad thing is ... the telemarketer is some poor shclepp trying to make a living making a minimum wage with maybe a $50 buck bonus attached if they exceed some almost outrageous pre-set quota every 2 weeks.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: bobad
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:47 PM

Yeah, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:51 PM

The next job below a telemarker is working in an abattoir ... or maybe selling realestate.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:53 PM

I almost never answer the phone any more, period. Just take messages. I've noticed that the calls are getting fewer and fewer.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: kendall
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:55 PM

I never feel obligated to answer, it's my phone and it's for my convenience, not theirs.

The delay thing works for me. If I choose to answer and get a delay, I hang up immediatly.

However, if one has the time and the inclination this thing that Clinton posted looks like fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 04:58 PM

True story, from about 30 years back:

The phone rings. For the 210th time that week, it's a photo studio offering me a deal on a photo of my nonexistent children. I'd fed up, and the conversation when this way:

Caller: Hi! I'm from the XYZ Studio and we have a special on children's portraits this....

Me: (Sounds of sobbing, heart-wrenching sobbing)

C: Sir, what's wrong?

Me: (sounding like I barely able to talk through my tears): My wife...and I...we'd love to have kids but...I...I was hit with a castrator mine in 'Nam...and...

C: Oh. Sir, I'm SO sorry. Please forgive me.

We weren't called again for six years.

Another time, when I had put on a SUIT to go to work, and the boss called and asked me to clean out the gutters because the custodian was ill, and I was running late anyway:

Caller: Sir, this is Jim-Bob's Aluminum Siding Company and...

Me: I think that anyone who sells siding over the phone freezes their turds with a stick in them so they can eat them later as turdcicles! (click of hangup)

Yes, I know that they're poor slobs doing a job. But now I'm on the do-not-call list and things are much more peaceful.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: bobad
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 05:03 PM

I don't have one of the new-fangled gadgets - answering machines, I hate talking to them, makes me feel like I'm talking to some machine. I also hate leaving a message because it chains me to staying indoors waiting for a call back. Besides most people use them as screening devices, I can't understand businesses which you are taking the trouble to contact fo info or to place an order that have answering machines to call you back at THEIR convenience. Then you hear them crying that they are filing for bankruptcy, well hello, ever hear of customer service ?

Rant over.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 05:06 PM

It's a choice between answering the phone and being slightly annoyed or letting it go to answerphone and having an even more annoying beep every 4 seconds telling me I've got a message where no-one speaks.

Sometimes I like a good rant at strangers.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 05:12 PM

I prefer email. To hell with telephones. And particularly to hell with cell phones. May they all melt, smoke, and burn. Specially when I'm at the movies.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 05:14 PM

I don't understand is why groups that are exempt from the do-not-call list rules would even want to contact someone who has already indicated, by signing up for the do-not-call list, that they probably don't want to be bothered. If I were telemarketing director for, say, a political campaign I would assume that there's about a 99% chance that someone who doesn't want to be bothered by a guy trying to sell them vinyl siding doesn't want to be bothered by someone trying to get them to vote for Joe Blow. I would send that non-phone-friendly person a postcard instead.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: bobad
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 06:00 PM

I'm with you on the e-mail LH. Problem is that two people with whom I communicate rgularly seem to have some kind of mental block communicating via the written word, it is a change from the verbal form we have grown up with but I kinda enjoy it myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 06:24 PM

I'm not so sure about Email either... at least I don't have to delete 785 messages from my answerphone every month....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 06:35 PM

And then there are the "surveys". They are exempt from do-not-call. Of course my experience is that most of those "surveys" are attempts to "qualify" buyers. They won't make a direct, blatant sales pitch (usually), but they will use whatever information they can get to guide the salesman who eventually does contact you, or to direct unwanted mail to you.

When the guy (gal?) in the boiler room says, "This is not a sales call.   We're running a survey to...." I say, "Suuuuure, it's not a sales call! That's good, because this is not a buying person. GOOOD-bye! (click)."

Or sometimes a telemarketer, by ignorance, carelessness, or bravado, will make an identifiable sales pitch. My comment, at the first pause or even without a pause, is, "Congratulations! You have just qualified yourself for a $10,000 fine for violating the do-not-call statute! What is your name, your company name and phone number and address, please?"

Once or twice the caller has seemed honestly surprised to know that there is such a thing as the do-not-call list. How a commercial person could NOT know that is beyond me.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 07:57 PM

Speaking Greek to them seems to solve the problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 08:04 PM

Bring back manufacturing industries from 'offshore' ... this will provide jobs for the existing telemarketers ... it would provide a better paying and less demeaning position of employment for them. Then we wouldn't have to be bothered by annoying phone calls. Otherwise telemarking provides the only ways and means for these people (aside from Walmarts and the big box stores) to scratch out a living.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Shiplap Structure3
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 08:09 PM

There is no problem in the UK with all this phone marketing all you have to do is register with the Telephone preferance service and your number is protected Its a gov sponsored initiative and costs nowt

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Jeri
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 08:13 PM

I'd seen the thread earlier, but just now when I read the title, for a fleeting instant, there was the image of Jack Kerouac with a headset.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 08:14 PM

Last call like that I got went along the lines of

Hello, this is so-and-so carpet cleaners and we'd like to ask when you got your carpets cleaned last.

I replied, "You'll have to talk with my mother."

Oh, would you put her on the line?

"I can't. She's dead."

Ended right there.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Kaleea
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 08:16 PM

Not alot of people were thrilled about getting a telemarketing call. There were, however, other reasons beside what were were told for the antitelemarketing bill. The legislation was pushed during an election year when fellers were trying to keep or reap seats on crapital hill. Trouble is, protecting the consumer was not the entire reason. While there were points which seemed to promise getting rid of "telemarketers," that did not happen. Politicians, charities, & a multitude of other companies can still legally call you, and there are loopholes aplenty which exhist to assist them. Most states-infact, most telemarketing companies--already had their own do not call list, stopping unsolicited phone marketing to the people on their lists.
But, ever notice that when you call some "helpline" for a product or service that you are often talking to someone who sounds like they are from India?
The big reason for the legislation was outsourcing. Since the legislation against "telemarketing," several hundred thousands of jobs were lost in the USA--many of which were call centers which also housed INbound calls. This happened after 9-11 had already devastated the American economy in most areas. Most telemarketers & inbound call center workers were students, housewives, seniors, people who had little or no financial ability to get job training, and people who needed to sit while working due to health reasons. Why outsource? It is much cheaper by far to take the call centers overseas-even India, thus making gazillions more in profits for big business.
Telemarketing ain't pretty, but there is more to the "story" which the consumer got sold.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 06 - 10:47 PM

The excitement used to come when the telemarketers would ask for "Mr.Lyons." Now, when we married my wife kept her maiden name and "Mr. Lyons" isn't her husband but her father.

On more than one occassion I told the caller that Mr. Lyons wasn't in at the moment. Oh, when do you expect him back? --Well, he's in Washington, DC. Well then, who are you? --I'm sleeping with his daughter.

Or: "Is Mrs. Lyons there?" "No, she's in DC." "Is Mr. Lyons there?" "No, he's in DC too." "Do you expect them back soon?" "No, they don't live here."

Confusion, lovely confusion....

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: heric
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 01:51 AM

"You have a very nice voice. . . What are you wearing right now?"

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 04:30 AM

A "fact sheet" on the US Do Not Call listing is at:

http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/donotcall/

The fact sheet indicates changes from the original regulations a year or so ago including:

Telemarketers are REQUIRED to provide their telephone number to Caller ID. (In the past, most telemarketers blocked Caller ID so you couldn't call them back.)

Wireless phone numbers may now be registered. (When I signed up, only "hard wired" numbers could be registered.)

A "business specific" list is now available should you wish to block only specific businesses.

Autodialers must pick up a minimum of 97% of numbers dialed within 2 seconds of being answered.(A previous practice was to auto-dial several numbers, and ignore those who answered after an agent had someone on line. This resulted sometimes in numerous "nobody there" calls for those who didn't roost on their telephone to answer instantly.)

Registration for the basic Do Not Call list remains at:
http://www.donotcall.gov/

You may also telephone from the phone you want to register:

1-888-382-1222 or for TTY call 1-866-290-4236.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 04:30 AM

the clicky was wonderful - but it left me 15 cookies to delete!

who, me, paranoid?

there has been a bit of talk here recently to start a Do-Not Call Register, but nuffin' so far.

We also get calls from India, as well as local ones & I treat them all the same - hang up immeditely as soon as the chirpy voice sez. "Hello, I'm John/Marsha from ..."

Unfortunately some Indian caller get a little bit further cos I can't understand what they are saying.

The most recent one asked for a name I couldn't hear properly, so I gave my usual reply to wrong numbers "There's no-one of that name here" & he snapped back "Are you the owner of this phone" & I was so surprised at his rude tone & question I said I was whereupon he launched into his spiel about me winning 40% off. So I said what I usually only think "fuck off" as I hung up without waiting to find what I'd won.

I hoped his supervisor was listening & he got what-for for using that tone of voice AND losing the sale!

Another one asked if I was the Sandra born in 1948. Even tho I wondered where he got my name & who invented the wrong birth date, I wasn't going to ask & I just hung up (& thought f. off)

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 05:11 AM

I was just shutting down Thunderbird & Firefox, & found a strange window underneath. It said something about working in the US & must have come from the telemarketer site as I only visited my regular sites, Mudcat & The Annex, in this session.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 05:32 AM

SiS -

I hope you're refering to the clicky to the "Telemarketers Script" at the start of the thread. I'd get really paranoid if you got cookies and popups at the .gov sites I linked just ahead of your post - (At least I think I would ... but maybe not).

Of course coming from down under, your connection would qualify as a foreign communication, subject to PatAct surveillance, I suppose. They'll probably send your name to telemarketers in some foreign country that believes in harassing you to buy cheap shoddy merchandise...(unlike US telemarketers, of course).

John

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 07:47 AM

John - the only clicky I clicked on was the first one where I had a ball reading the questionnaire. You & I posted at the same time so I didn't see your .gov clickys until later.

Anyway, I think I'm already on some dodgy US list. One night I came home to a strange message on my answering machine. I think it was a recorded message & my machine started recording part of the way thru the spiel. I was urged to call an 800 number & I was a tad amused - we can't call 800 numbers from Oz - who did she (or the person operating the recorded message) think they were calling? And what was it about? - what I assume started as a carefully constructed spiel did not make sense cos most was missing!

You have the Patriot Act, we have the Sedition laws so THEY could be watching both of us.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 02:35 PM

They probably have the "watch" on an automated system for me. A real person would be delusional from boredom. Can you imagine the office weasels in the "watch shops" fighting to get assigned to someone with a personality?

One apparent/possible result of our US Do Not Call listing has been extreme proliferation of "paid commercial programming" on local TV. Those who used to have herds of marketers making phone calls now buy time and run hour long sales pitches. It used to be mostly late night stuff, but now its common to find them in prime times. Without cable, I can pick up *5 local channels, and on many days they now average 5 to 7 hours of this stuff daily on each channel. Often the same pitch will be on 3 or 4 channels at the same time.

Of course it seems to be profitable, so it might have happened without the no-call thing.

And of course, what's left on regular programming is so bad I probably won't miss anything when the system goes digital and my set won't get anything in a few months.

*That's 5 channels of semi-reality, with another 4 channels of 100 per cent Fundie religious programming that I've blocked on my remote channel selector. The remaining 5 channels only broadcast 20 or so hours of "church" per week.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST,frustrated telemarketer
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 06:07 PM

In the deserts of Sudan
And the gardens of Japan
From Milan to Yucatan
Every woman, every man

Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me! Hit me!
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 06 - 09:07 PM

Until recently, I was under the impression it was illegal for telmarketers to call cellular phones because the recipient may be charged for the call. If someone has one of those pay-as-you-go calling card deals instead of a regular calling plan it costs them 25¢ any time a telemarketer calls them. Well, I guess it's not illegal any more, if it ever was, because we started getting telemarketing calls on our cell phone a couple of months ago. So, I put the number on the do-not-call list. Not sure how the SOBs got our cell number since it's not in any directory that I know of. It is on our business cards. Maybe people go around collecting business cards "harvesting" unblocked unpublished numbers?

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 02:01 AM

B-dub -

Illegal has nothing to do with it. The criterion is "can they get by with it."

I also had the impression that the original no-call law prohibited calls to cell phones. That was given as the justification for not permitting the listing of cell phones. The Fact sheet I linked above indicates that you can now register "wireless" phones, so perhaps the rules have changed.

The original regulation governing the US Do Not Call list may be seen at:
FCC 03-153A1 or at numerous other sites.

("FCC 03" in google will get many sites, nearly all offering .pdf versions. This one may not be the most "official," but they all seem to offer the same document - 160+ pages of it as I recall.)

I haven't found a site that offers amendments and changes to the law. Most likely some of the changes are by FCC rules rather than by legislation.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 06:41 AM

At one time, if I got one of these calls, I just used to leave the phone off the hook for 20 - 30 minutes. I understood that his meant that the call centre couldn't call anyone else - but I'm not sure if this works any more - anyone know?
On one occasion, after being driven mad by these calls, I pretended to be my to be my Transylvanian assistant, Igor (who had very poor English). I then pretended to struggle with Igor and got back on the phone as myself (with me so far?). After a few minutes I mimed being seriously assaulted by Igor and flung the cordless handset around the room. The person on the other end merely said, " and now Mr B. - about these replacement windows ...". So, obviously pretending to be a homicidal Transylvanian doesn't work ...
I also signed up for the UK Telephone Preference Service (TPS) and this has cut down the number of marketing calls I receive considerably. Nevertheless, when I complained about a couple of calls, that slipped through the net, the TPS claimed that they had not received my registration. Luckily I had scanned in the initial letter that they sent me and just e-mailed it to them so they couldn't get out of their obligations that easily! It would appear that, these days, everyone is either a crook/conman or incompetent!

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 07:02 AM

Yesterday I received a call from a market research company asking to speak to Geoff. I advised that we were on the 'nocallslist' or whatever its called here but he said that didn't apply to market research as he wasn't selling. I said fair enough but Geoff isn't in and he won't want to speak to you anyway. He then said he would have to ring back and get Geoff to tell him that so I told him I wouldn't let him talk to Geoff and since I pay the bill it was my phone and he couldn't use it!!!!!! Obviously I don't actually restrict Geoff's use of our phone but it shut this bloke up as this was definitely not on his script!

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Mr Red
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 09:18 AM

in the UK the TPS get out of all complaints in my experience.

I have the answer machine on peramnently and the number of blanks messages has gone down to one a month. But I am also ex-directory and ex electoral roll. No-one ever asks for me by name except.............

companies I deal with. I have long discussions with their supervisor to get them to consult the TPS register and they ignore the subject as if it doesn't apply - neither does my custom.

I opt out of all options and even tell companies I don't want junk mail (e or snail) or junk calls and even make e-purchases conditional on them respecting the list of "no junks". I am on the MPS too which spoils my wheeze of returning to sender any junk with "not known at this address" it has finally worked most of the time. But few people know (or can find-out cheaply) who lives at my address.

MBNA seemd to ignore this at Xmas and another company are in for a roastng.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: MaineDog
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 09:24 AM

I have a telezapper, and it works really well, even on the low intensity setting. Once in a while someone asks me about the beep it makes when I pick up the phone, but most people don't notice.
MD

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 12:08 PM

If your number is on the do-not-call list and you receive annoying calls from companies with whom you are currently doing business (which means it's legal for them to call you) just tell them that if they continue to call you won't do business with them anymore. They dolisten. I was receiving weekly calls from a bank with whom I have a credit card trying to sell me "additional wervices". I told them that if they continued to bother me I would transfer the account balance to another card and tear their card up. I've not heard from them in a year.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: LilyFestre
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 02:58 PM

I recently placed an order for a special kind of socks as a Christmas present. Once they had all my information, the barrage of questions began.

Are you interested in the special on page 94?

No. All I need today are the socks, thank you.

Well how about some cute little Keds on page 18?

NO.

Can I send you $100.00 worth of free cosmetics to try?

NO! NO! NO! What part of I am only interested in purchasing socks today is difficult for you to understand? Ask me one more f*cking question and I'm canceling my order.

Thank you M'am. Have a nice day.

Me: :)

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 11 Jan 06 - 04:32 PM

we check the call display, and dont answer if its unknown or blocked or
looks like some 1800 marketing type #.

our friends know we have a baby daughter, and often cant answer anyway so they can always leave a msg.

but if they should happen to get me, if its a survey I just say no thanks I dont do surveys as I hang up, if its a charity I tell them I have specific charities and dont give ones who solicit by phone.
(often the charity hires telemarketing companies to raise money and only a small portion goes to the charity, so Id rather just give to the charity directly)

if its one of those telemarketers who goes into a spiel without giving you a chance to answer I put the phone down and see how long it takes before they realize theyre not talking to anyone.

years ago my mom was a pushover and the charities shared her number, so we screened her calls.
I could tell it was a charity if they couldnt pronounce the name
and would ask who it was, and from where, and once the telemarketer said it was john, john from vancouver and when I said shes busy, he said 'fuckyou you goof' and hung up.

so since then I didnt have any problem dealing with marketers.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: NH Dave
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 05:33 PM

At one time, before the "Do Not Call" list was introduced companies like Radio Shack in the US, sold a small tone generator that you could put between your phone and the wall jack. This little box generated a couple of tones whenever you picked up the handset just like the tones that precede the recording, "The number you have dialed . . . ", tones that the computer actually doing the dialing would understand to mean, "There's no one living at this number right now", and delete your number from its files. This worked fairly well for me, but with the No Call List it ceased to be a big help. As time has passed, more people are calling me to buy their various services, lso it may be time to hook this out-of-service tone box back to my phone again.

    Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Folkiedave
Date: 15 Jan 06 - 08:14 PM

TPS member and real anti-telemarketing. Sweetly ask who they are once I have that established that, tell them that by continuing to talk they are agreeing to my charges of £45.00 per hour - minimum charge 3 hours.

They always put the telephone down.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST,Bruce Baillie
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 12:18 PM

...I had great fun with a few of them pretending to be Chinese with only a small grasp of English, eventually THEY put the phone down on ME! Try it, it works a treat!

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 01:49 PM

I never leave messages on answering machines. I do not do business with companies that do not have humans answering the phone. I do not have an answering machine and I seldom answer my phone....telemarketers haven't a chance .

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: Firecat
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 01:51 PM

As I'm sure quite a few of you know, I used to work in a call centre, trying to promote kitchens. If the caller doesn't identify themselves immediately, they are breaking the Telemarketing Code Of Conduct (which has to be learned by heart or posted on each cubicle). Same goes for if they don't put you on the TPS if requested.

There is no call to be rude to them! As many people who I spoke to found out, you are much more likely to get the caller to go away if you are polite to them.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 05:51 PM

I love telephone surveys.

My responses usually qualify me to be one of the 'outliers'... :-)

Last night I was rung back by someone who had previously given me a survey on motor oils (I had insisted on only buying the cheapest supermarket house brands!) - now they were asking a question and grading you on if you were the 'fanatic type of car owner'. Sensibly, I only scored the second highest, so now they will leave me alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: number 6
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 06:06 PM

How about those Seventh Day Adventist and Mormans that knock on your door on Saturday mornings soliciting their Spiritual Believes ... replying that your just not interested never worked, they'd show up next week right on schedule ... but I later found by telling them I''m Jewish, they never came around again.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 06:23 PM

If you tell them you are already in a 'hard' religion, they will usually leave you alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Beat telemarketers.....
From: JennyO
Date: 16 Jan 06 - 11:11 PM

I've had varied experiences with those religious door knockers, depending on my mood at the time. The funniest was quite a few years ago when my kids were still living at home. One Sunday morning I was woken by a knock on the door, which was very close to my son's bedroom. I had been bothered a few times in the previous weeks, and was cranky at being woken up, so I was in no mood....

I opened the door, looked at them, and before they had time to say a word, I said the first thing that came into my head "Oh no, not this shit again!", and shut the door. Later on, my son told me he had heard it all, and was rolling around with mirth "That's the best reply I've heard yet, mum!" he said.

Even further back, in the early days of my marriage, my husband at the time invited them in on one occasion and engaged them in a lengthy discussion about religion and invited them to try and convince him why he should not be an atheist. It seemed to amuse him at the time - he obviously had a lot of time to kill!

More recently I've told them I worship the Goddess, and start to tell them all about it (they don't know that Pagans don't proselytise). That is a good way to get rid of them fast. But usually I just tell them I'm not interested and shut the door, especially the mormons who seem to be more "in your face" than the Seventh Day Adventists, who are usually happy if you take their magazines.

Yesterday I had a strange experience with someone who turned out to be trying to change my phone company to Optus. I was sitting out the back, and John, who was inside, heard a knock on the front door. Apparently this guy didn't make his intentions very clear, and John assumed he was someone I had asked to come and service my cable TV. So he invited him in and led him through the house to the kitchen. I came inside and tried to figure out what this stranger in my house was babbling about. Finally I heard him mention Optus, and he asked me if I was happy with my phone company. "Very happy", I said. Then he asked me who I was with and I told him. He seemed to think that was very funny and asked me what rates I was paying. "None of your business" I said as I very smartly led him towards the front door. He was still standing on the front doorstep chortling "You're with **** and you're happy with THEM?" as I shut the door on him. I was not at all pleased that he had been invited into the house. As I said to John - "It's not safe to invite people in like that, unless you yourself are expecting them. If I was expecting someone, I'd tell you!" So I guess that won't happen again. It really gave me the creeps to find someone I didn't want suddenly inside my house! Worse than the phone callers - you can at least hang up on them.

Jenny