SHAVING CREAM (By "Benny Bell with Paul Wynn" on>)
I have a sad story to tell you. It may hurt your feelings a bit. Last night when I walked into my bathroom, I stepped in a big pile of . . . (Chorus, repeated after each verse:) Shaving cream, be nice and clean. Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
I think I'll break off with my girlfriend. Her antics are queer, I'll admit. Each time I say, "Darling, I love you," She tells me that I'm full of . . .
Our baby fell out of the window. You'd think that her head would be split. But good luck was with her that morning. She fell in a barrel of . . .
An old lady died in a bathtub. She died from a terrible fit. In order to fulfill her wishes, She was buried in six feet of . . .
When I was in France with the army, One day I looked into my kit. I thought I would find me a sandwich, But the darn thing was loaded with . . .
And now, folks, my story is ended. I think it is time I should quit. If any of you feel offended, Stick your head in a barrel of . . .
(First recorded in 1946, but finally hit the Billboard charts in 1975. Appears in several collections including some by "Dr. Demento." Countless additional "folk" verses have appeared.)
See Sweet Violets, and Shine Your Buttons With Brasso @fooler filename[ SHAVCREM JD
sj