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PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan

DigiTrad:
BALLAD OF RICHARD III
BLOOD UPON THE GRASS
OOR HAMLET
THE JEELIE PIECE SONG (SKYSCRAPER WEAN)
THE SCOTTISH SONG


Related threads:
Seven Eighty Four/Oor Hamlet (12)
Origins:Jeelie Piece Song (Skyscraper Wean)-McNaug (41)
Lyr Req/Add: Romeo and Juliet (Adam McNaughtan) (34)
Lyr Req: The Glasgow Councillor (Adam McNaughtan) (19)
Lyr Req: They're Pulling Doon the Buildin' Next... (22)
Lyr Req: Green Eggs and Hamlet (5)
Lyr Add: Now That You're Gone (Adam McNaughtan) (2)
Lyr Req: Oor Hamlet (Adam McNaughtan) (20)
Lyr Req: Still Gonna Die (from Adam McNaughtan) (7)
Lyr Req: The Dear Green Place (Adam McNaughtan) (29)
Adam McNaughton? Adam McNaughtan (17)
Tune Req: Where can I find an mp3 of Oor Hamlet? (8)
Lyr Req: Macbeth (Adam McNaughtan) (6)
Lyr Req/Add: Blood upon the Grass (Adam McNaughtan (9)
Lyr Add: Grendel, Grendel (Oor Hamlet) (4)
Tune Req: Oor Hamlet / The Mason's Apron (46)
MORE INFO:Height Starvation Song (14)
More Shakespeare: Hamlet (45)
Lyr Req: Our Hamlet (2)
Jelly Piece/Jeelie Piece Song (Skyscraper wean) (3) (closed)


Joe Offer 16 Feb 19 - 07:53 PM
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Subject: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:53 PM

    We have songs of Adam McNaughtan scattered hither and yon at Mudcat, and sometimes they're hard to find. I'm going to make this an edited PermaThread® to collect lyrics that have been posted in other threads, or for members to post lyrics for songs for which there is no thread. I propose to end up with one version of each song. If you want to discuss a song and don't want your comments deleted, post them in another thread specifically for that song.
    If you want to add corrections to songs posted here, go ahead, and then I'll incorporate them into the lyrics post and delete your post. If you'd like to manage a similar lyrics thread for a particular performer, contact me by personal message and I'll set up a PermaThread for you.
    -Joe-


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Subject: ADD: King Lear (Adam McNaughtan)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:54 PM

From the master himself:

Thread #149317   Message #3976644
Posted By: GUEST,Guest Adam McNaughtan
14-Feb-19 - 11:02 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req/Add: Romeo and Juliet (Adam McNaughtan)
Subject: ADD: King Lear (Adam McNaughtan)

Anne Neilson picked up on it.


KING LEAR [Petronella]
(Adam McNaughtan)

Auld King Lear thought he’d abdicate
And turn the kingdom ower to a she-triumvirate;
So he turned to his daughters and he made the state
How much love to him was due.
Gon’ril said, “Ah love ye mair than tongue can name.”
Regan said, “Ah love ye till the coos come hame.”
Cordelia said, “Ah willnae play your silly game,
’Cause Ah’m gonnae love my husband too.”
Lear took a flakey an’ he did deny her,
An’ the Duke o’ Kent got banished just for standin’ by her,
The King o’ France said, “You are my heart’s desire.”
He proposed and she said, “I do.”
And the auld Duke o’ Gloucester got a letter
That telt him wan o’ his sons was a traitor,
But he couldnae tell the worse frae the better,
Nor the false yin frae the true.

Lear had devised a kinna time-share plan
To stey wi’ his daughters wan by wan,
Wi’ a hundred troops to dauner roon the land
An’ help him while he slaked his drouth.
Regan said, “Your troops are aye on the booze,
An’ aw that you’re needin’ is a place to snooze.”
“NEED!” he says. “Efter aw Ah’ve done for youse!”
An’ he stertit shootin’ aff his mooth.
So oot in the storm she sent him packin’
An’ the fool tried to keep him sane by yakkin’;
Kent came to help in spite o’ his sackin’
An’ got pilloried for bein’ uncouth.
Gloucester must ha’ been certifiable
When he was taken in by Edmund’s libel;
It wasnae till he loast his secont eyeball
That he could see the natural truth.

On the Dover Road the traffic got tight
When they heard that Cordelia had come hame to fight:
There was Gloucester an’ Poor Tam the Bedlamite
An’ the King an’ the unkent Kent.
Albany was virtuous an’ Cornwall deid.
That’s no the kinna husbands Lear’s daughters need;
It’s the vicious type that turns their heid.
So for Edmund they baith went.
Gon’ril sent Oswald for to bring back Gloucester
’Cause she said that folk’s opinions he’d cost her,
But Edgar wiped his name aff the roster
An’ read what Goneril had sent.
Lear an’ Cordelia were re-united
An’ she telt him no to get over-excited,
But just as soon as she’d won the fight, he’d
Find oot whit a daughter’s love meant.

But efter the baddies had won the day,
Edgar challenged Edmund an’ blew him away;
An’ Goneril committit felo-de-se
Efter seein’ to her sister’s death.
Cordelia died at the end o’ a rope;
Lear killt the hangman and startit to mope,
Then his poor hert burst in an access of hope
When he thought that he saw her breath.
So mind when you enter the playhouse portals,
That a Shakespeare tragedy’s short on chortles;
When it comes to killin’ aff fellow-mortals,
Bill Shakespeare isnae laith.
Ah’ve read King Lear an’ Ah’ve seen it actit,
Wi’ eyes gouged oot an’ auld men distractit,
An’ Ah can tell you for a fact that
There’s mair laughs in Hamlet or Macbeth.


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Subject: ADD: Romeo and Juliet (Adam McNaughtan)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:57 PM

Thread #149317   Message #3477878
Posted By: GUEST,Guest, Adam McNaughtan
10-Feb-13 - 10:10 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req/Add: Romeo and Juliet (Adam McNaughtan)
Subject: Lyr Add: ROMEO AND JULIET (Adam McNaughtan)

ROMEO AND JULIET
(Adam McNaughtan)

CHORUS
Oh Montagu Montagu Montagu!
Oh Capulet Capulet Capulet!
Oh Montagu Montagu Montagu!
Capulet Capulet Capulet! – Montagu!

There's mayhem gaun oan in the toon o' Verona,
A city in Italy torn by dissension.
Capulet, Montagu, would stick wan on to you,
Simply for sayin' the ither side's name.
The Prince o' Verona said: "Jista haud oan"
And he called to the hall the two chiefs in contention.
"Any mair knives and you'll forfeit your lives
And I'll no bother askin' whit side was to blame.
A Montagu, Romeo, was sad and gloomy
Because Rosaline had declined his attention.
His pals said, "Forget her. We'll find somethin' better,
We'll go to the ball in auld Capulet's hame."

CHORUS

Though they hudnae been asked, still they pit oan their masks
An' away to the ball in the hall they went dancin'.
Romeo chasséd up tae Cap'let's lassie,
A girl o' sixteen but quite big for her size.
Her faither had planned it so she'd gie her hand
To the young County Paris, her fortune enhancin'.
But naeb'dy had taught her to recognise patter;
So Romeo's kiss took her quite by surprise.
That night he'd a gander up at her verandah
And then spent the time in the moonlight romancin'.
"I'll be your dame," she says. "Whit's in a name?
But we'd better get wed afore Faither gets wise."

CHORUS

Wi' the nurse and the friar these two did conspire
Right away, the next day, to get wed oan the quiet.
Says Romeo, "Right! Tonight is the night.
Jist lower the ladder. That's a' that I'll need."
But Tybalt, her cousin, was fizzin' and buzzin',
An' roamin' the streets lookin' oot for a riot;
Pushin Mercutio, stertit a stooshie
That came to an end wi' the baith o' them deid.
Since Romeo had struck Tybalt's death-blow
He knew frae Verona he'd soon have to sky it.
To hing oot in Mantua, that was his plan,
Wi' the Friar sendin' news to keep him up to speed.

CHORUS

So Juliet's left; o' her husband bereft;
She decides to abide whit awaits her wi' patience.
But she was embarrassed when her da said Paris
Would wed her on Thursday and no be denied.
Weepin' fresh torrents, she ran to Friar Lawrence,
Who thought up a plot to hoodwink her relations.
He'd gie her a potion to still a' her motion
An' they'd haud her funeral, thinkin' she'd died.
But Lawrence's note tellin' Romeo the plot
Didnae get brought to its due destination.
Romeo insteid heard that Juliet was deid
An' he rushed to the tomb jist to be by her side.

CHORUS

But ootside the vault he was called to a halt
By Paris, who'd barras o' flooers for strewin'.
Paris, he drew; Romeo ran him through,
And the County was left lyin' deid in his gore.
Romeo quaffed an apothec'ry's draught
An' he died by the side o'the bride he'd been wooin'.
Juliet recovered an' saw her deid lover
An' took her ain life wi' the dagger he wore.
Lawrence the Friar told whit had transpired
An' the Prince summont Capulet an' Montagu in.
They said "We're sorry.".-- End of the story!
We'll finish by singin' the chorus once more:

Oh Montagu Montagu Montagu!
Oh Capulet Capulet Capulet!
Oh Montagu Montagu Montagu!
Capulet Capulet Capulet! – Montagu!


A plea for these words was conveyed to me by one of my friends.
For a long time before I wrote the song, I'd been introducing "Oor Hamlet" by saying I intended to write a version of R & J with the audience divided into Montagus and Capulets competing in the chorus. Eventually, Marie-Therese Allison, wife of another member of Stramash, who had been attending a self-assertion course, asserted herself and told me to stop messing about and write the song. It first appeared in print on the cover of my quarterly catalogue of second-hand books in Spring 2004. This is only the second time I have typed it out and I am not surprised to find that singing has altered the text in several places.
One comment on pronunciation: Glaswegians pronounce the word "ball" when applied to the spherical object for kicking, as "baw" (usually written "ba'". When referring to a grand dance, most of us would pronounce it as in Standard English. So I have spelled it "ball" in this song and, for the sake of the rhymes, have spelled "hall" to match. The same applies to "called" when it appears between "vault" and "halt". Glaswegian singers may, of course, continue to pronounce them a' the other way.


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Subject: ADD: The Scottish Song (Macbeth)(Adam McNaughtan)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 08:05 PM

Thread #1807   Message #2623265
Posted By: Susanne (skw)
02-May-09 - 05:28 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Oor Hamlet (Adam McNaughtan)
Subject: ADD: The Scottish Song (Adam McNaughtan) - MacBeth

THE SCOTTISH SONG
(Words Adam McNaughtan - tune trad 'Soldiers Joy')

When the Scots had smashed the Norsemen, like steelies against jauries,
The Generals, Macbeth and Banquo, walked it back to Forres,
They met three dames that did a kinna fortune-tellin' thing,
Wha hailt Macbeth an' tellt him he'd be Cawdor, Glamis an' King.

Then Macbeth fell in a dwam but Banquo says, "haud on a wee,
"Ye've a loat tae say to him, huv ye got onythin' for me?"
The witches said, "The good news first an' then the bad we'll tell:
"Ye'll faither loatsa kings but ye'll no' be wan yersel."

When the King said, "Ye're the hauder o' the title 'Thane o'Cawdor'".
Macbeth wis fair excitit an' ambitious tae get oan
But his jaw near hut the flair when he heard the King declare,
"Ma boay's the Prince o' Cumberland an' heir tae the throne."

Macbeth, afore the rest, went rushin' hameward at full tilt,
Tae let his wife know she wid need tae air the king-size quilt.
She says, "Ye're mad tae say it or else Duncan's aff his heid.
'Cause if he sleeps here the nicht he's gonnae wauken up deid.

Then Macbeth convinced himsel' that his motives were the best:
That he widnae murder Duncan as his cousin, King an' guest.
"Ye're a coward, ye're a beast an' ye don't love me!" says his wife,
"An' we'll blame it oan the guairds." Says he, "Juist ca' me 'Mac the Knife!'"

So he killt Duncan and his lady smeart the drunken
Guairds wi' bluid an says, "C'moan tae bed. It's easy as snuff."
But Malcolm shot the craw, so did Donalbain an' a'
An' they didnae baffle Banquo an' they didnae fool Macduff.

So Macbeth invitit Banquo to a feast as guest o' honour,
Eftir hirin' three miscreants tae mak' sure he wis a goner.
An' at the feast he simpert aboot Banquo no' bein' there
But then he hud tae staun 'cause Banquo's ghost wis in his chair.

But what made him loass his marbles wis when wan o' the miscreants
Cam' an' said they'd malkied Banquo, but they'd missed the fleein' Fleance.
"Avaunt!" he starts, but Lady Mac says, "Folks, the pairty's closed,
"An' ye must excuse ma husband, he's a wee bit indisposed."

Banquo's line upoan the throne juis' so obsessed his haill subconcious
That he ordert them tae kill Macduff's wife, weans, cats, dugs, the loat.
Lady Mac says, "Ah must try, if anythin' that Ah can buy.
Persil, Ariel, Daz or Flash'll shift this bluidy spot.

But Macduff wis aff tae England for tae fetch back Malkie,
An' the boay says, "Ah'm nae use. Juist a randy greedy alkie."
Cries Macduff, "Ma hopes end here!" Malkie says, "Ah'm only kiddin'
"An' Ah'll tak' an army north an' cut doon trees tae keep it hidden."

Macbeth meanwhile decidit the weird sisters he'd get haud ae
An' he fund them bilin' soup wi' Tartars' lips tae gie it boady,
An' they tellt him he could no' be killt by man that's born o' wumman,
An' he didnae need tae fear till he saw Birnam wuid was comin.

So Macbeth became quite gallus but he'd nothin' left but malice,
He couldnae show emotions like compassion, joy or sorra,
When he heard his wife had died, he juist said, "Ah wid've cried,
"If it had been the morra an' the morra an' the morra."

Though a' his pals had skied it, he was safe in Dunsinane,
An' he passt the time by pittin' armour oan an' aff again.
Then the news that Birnam wuid wis oan the mairch gied him a scare.
He says, "We'll fight ootside, Ah don't want bluid a' ower ma flair."

He wis swashin', he was bucklin', he talked Siward's boay tae death,
But his confidence wis shattert when Macduff shouts, "Hey, Macbeth!"
"Against men o' weemen born," he says, "Ah've goat divine protection."
Quips Macduff, "Ah wis delivert by Caesarian section."

Then Macduff cut aff his heid an' when he saw that he wis deid,
Malkie says, "Yese a' are earls, the first there's ever been."
That's the story at an end but Ah still cannae comprehend
Whit teachers find sae funny in yon porter scene.

(alternative ending for non-teachers)
Then Macduff cut aff his heid an' when he saw that he wis deid,
Malkie says, "Yese a' are earls, come oan alang tae Scone."
So noo the play is played an there's wan thing tae be said:
It's juist half the length o' "Hamlet" when the curtain comes doon.

(from the CD 'Last Stand At Mount Florida', 1996)


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Subject: ADD: Oor Hamlet (Adam McNaughtan)^^^
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 08:09 PM

Thread #1807   Message #6421
Posted By: Bo
08-Jun-97 - 11:27 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Oor Hamlet (Adam McNaughtan)
Subject: Lyr Add: OOR HAMLET (Adam McNaughtan)

Here's a version with all the Scots in it.

OOR HAMLET
(Adam McNaughtan) (Tune: "Mason's Apron")

There was this king sitting in his gairden a' alane,
When his brither in his ear poured a wee tate o' henbane.
Then he stole his brither's crown an' his money an' his widow,
But the deid king walked an' goat his son an' said, "Hey, listen, kiddo,
Ah've been kilt an' it's your duty to take revenge on Claudius,
Kill him quick an' clean an' show the nation whit a fraud he is."
The boy says, "Right, Ah'll dae it but Ah'll need to play it crafty -
So that naeb'dy will suspect me, Ah'll kid on that Ah'm a dafty.

So wi' a' excep' Horatio - an' he trusts him as a friend -
Hamlet, that's the boy, kids on he's roon' the bend,
An' because he wis nae ready for obligatory killin',
He tried to make the king think he was tuppence aff the shillin'.
Took the mickey oot Polonius, treatit poor Ophelia vile,
Tellt Rosencrantz an' Guildenstern that Denmark was a jile.
Then a troupe o' travellin' actors like 7.84
Arrived to dae a special wan-night gig in Elsinore.

Hamlet! Hamlet! Loved his mammy!
Hamlet! Hamlet! Acting balmy!
Hamlet! Hamlet! Hesitatin',
Wonders if the ghost's a cheat
An' that is how he's waitin'.

Then Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact
While Horatio an' him watch to see if Claudius cracked.
The play was ca'd "The Mousetrap" - no the wan that's runnin' noo -
An' sure enough the king walked oot afore the scene was through.
So Hamlet's got the proof that Claudius gi'ed his da the dose,
The only problem being noo that Claudius knows he knows.
So while Hamlet tells his ma that her new husband's no a fit wan,
Uncle Claud pits oot a contract wi' the English king as hit-man.

Then when Hamlet kilt Polonius, the concealed corpus delecti
Was the king's excuse to send him for an English hempen neck-tie,
Wi' Rosencrantz an' Gildenstern to make sure that he got there,
But Hamlet jumped the boat an' pit the finger on that pair.
Meanwhile Laertes heard his da had been stabbed through the arras.
He came racin' back to Elsinore tout suite, hotfoot frae Paris,
An' Ophelia wi' her da kilt by the man she wished to marry -
Eftir sayin' it wi' flooers, she comittit hari-kari.

Hamlet! Hamlet! Nae messin'!
Hamlet! Hamlet! Learnt his lesson!
Hamlet! Hamlet! Yorick's crust
Convinced him that men, good or bad,
At last must come to dust.

Then Laertes lost the place an' was demandin' retribution,
An' the king says, "Keep the heid an' Ah'll provide ye a solution."
He arranged a sword-fight for the interestit pairties,
Wi' a bluntit sword for Hamlet an' a shairp sword for Laertes.
An' to make things double sure (the auld belt-an'-braces line )
He fixed a poison't sword-tip an' a poison't cup o' wine.
The poison't sword goat Hamlet but Laertes went an' muffed it,
'Cause he got stabbed hissel, an' he confessed afore he snuffed it.

Hamlet's mammy drank the wine an' as her face turnt blue,
Hamlet says, "Ah quite believe the king's a baddy noo."
"Incestuous, treacherous, damned Dane," he said, to be precise,
An' made up for hesitatin' by killin' Claudius twice.
'Cause he stabbed him wi' the sword an' forced the wine atween his lips.
Then he cried, "The rest is silence!" That was Hamlet had his chips.
They fire't a volley over him that shook the topmaist rafter,
An' Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after.

Hamlet! Hamlet! A' the gory!
Hamlet! Hamlet! End of story!
Hamlet! Hamlet! Ah'm away!
If you think this is borin',
Ye should read the bloody play.

784 is the name of a Socialist Theatre Group in Scotland, so called I believe because 7% of the population owns 84% of the property.

Belt and Braces is a reference to the hypercautious practice of wearing both belt and braces (American, suspenders) to keep your trousers (pants up).


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 08:11 PM

The Jeelie Piece song (Skyscraper Wean) is also in the DT - posted by Malcolm Douglas. Adam's surname is spelled wrongly (as is so often the case!) as McNaughton, when it's as you have it in this thread title, McNaughtAn!
It would be good to add it to this thread, Joe.
Also "Cholesterol" and "Erchie Cathcairt" if, as I think they are on Mudcat somewhere.


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 08:25 PM

P.S. What looks like the second verse in the DT version of "Jeelie Piece" is in fact the chorus, usually sung after each of the other verses.
"Cholesterol" is in the DT, but no results on a search for "Erchie Cathcairt" (or even Archie!) I have the lyrics somewhere: will post tomorrow.
And one that Adam sings, though not one that he wrote, is Shel Silverstein's "Still Gonna Die".


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 10:06 PM

Tattie Bogle or somebody, can you post corrected lyrics to "Jeelie Piece" in this thread (click)? Thanks.
-Joe-


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 04:10 AM

Will do later, when on my proper computer! Actually the version posted by Charley Noble on the Jeelie Piece thread is closer than the one in the DT! As for the debate about the tune, it is much closer to "My Old Man's a dustman" (tho not identical to it) than "John Brown's body". And George Seto's chords look Ok for those who want to accompany it: the other set have shifted in posting and don't quite line up properly with the words, tho I like the optional Bm.

2 other songs for this thread, which are in the DT: Thomas Muir of Huntershill (listed as Thomas Muir), and Yellow on the Broom.


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: GeoffLawes
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 05:08 AM

Adam McNaughtan Songs on Youtube
This link has many of his songs being performed, often by the man himself.


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE JEELY PIECE SONG (Adam McNaughtan)
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 06:41 AM

Here's "The Jeely Piece" (note that most sources spell it Jeely and not Jeelie, but I don't know which is correct - it's pronounced teh saem either way!)
And you may think there are a lot of spelling mistakes, but that's just trying to imitate the Glasgow pronunciation!

THE JEELY PIECE SONG
Adam McNaughtan

I'm a sky-scraper wean, I live on the nineteenth flair
But I'm no gaun oot tae play ony mair.
'Cause since we moved tae Castlemilk I'm wastin' away
‘Cause I'm gettin’ wan less meal every day.

Chorus:
Oh ye canna fling pieces oot a twenty storey flat
Seven hundred hungry weans will testify tae that
If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid be plain or pan
The odds against it reachin’ earth are ninety-nine tae wan.

On the first day my Maw flung oot a daud o' Hovis broon
It cam’ skitin' oot the windae and went up instead o' doon
Noo ev'ry twenty-seven hoors it comes back intae sight
‘Cause my piece went intae orbit and became a satellite.
Chorus

Oan the next day my Maw flung me a piece oot wance again
It went up and hut a pilot in a fast, low-flying plane
He scraped it aff his goggles, shoutin’ through the intercom
“The Clydeside Reds huv goat me wi' a breid 'n jeely bomb”.
Chorus

On the third day my Maw thocht she would try another throw
The Salvation Army baund was staundin' doon below
'Onward Christian Soldiers' was the piece they should've played
But the Oompah man was playing a piece 'n marmalade.
Chorus


We've wrote away tae Oxfam to try an' get some aid
An’ a’ the weans in Castlemilk have formed a “Piece Brigade”
We're gonnae march tae George’s Square demandin’ civil rights
Like, nae mair hooses ower piece-flinging height.
Chorus


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Subject: Lyr Add: ERCHIE CATHCAIRT (Adam McNaughtan)
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 06:51 AM

And here's the health-conscious Erchie Cathcairt.
If you're wondering what "Eldo" is, it's short for Eldorado, which was a rather cheap wine on sale in the 60s and 70s!


ERCHIE CATHCAIRT by Adam McNaughtan
(from 'Last Stand At Mount Florida')

Ah'll tell you the story o' Erchie Cathcairt
A fella who aye took good care o' his hert
Ah don’t mean in terms o' romance and its issues
Naw Erchie took care tae avoid fatty tissues.

He read books oan stress and he read books oan diet
And made sure his hert was well nourished and quiet
As soon as he found oot that fags were a threat
He said “Erchie Cathcairt's smoked his last cigarette”.

And no just himself - he'd a smoke-free abode
Fags were banned fae his flat in Victoria Road
When his chain-smokin’ pals said, that wis too hard eh him
He said “You look efter yer ain pericardium”.

Oan Glesga's Soo’ Side the air disnae' come near
The EEC’s requirement fur clean atmosphere
So whenever he ventured ootside his ain close
Cathcairt wore a mask ower his mooth and his nose.

Cos joggin wis good fur reducing yer weight
He'd jog everywhere even tae the Gateway
Where he bought low fat mulk and high fibre breid
Yon loaves that are covered in caraway seed.

Then fresh fruit and veg and when he had peyed
He'd jog away hame wi a bag oan each side
When he read o' the good-herted Glesga campaign
He signed oan at wance wae nae sign o' delay'n’.

About his blood pressure he hadnae a qualm
And his weight matched his height tae the last milligram
But his doctor consulting a chart on the wall
Says “You’re two points too high in your cholesterol.”

”But there's no need to worry just cut out dessert”
”Ah never eat pudding” says Erchie Cathcairt.
He jogged away hame in the depth o' despair
Efter ten years o' Muesli whit could he dae mair?

Then he read in the papers some scientist say
How yer hert can be helped wi’ twa aspirins a day
And the very next moarnin the Herald declare't
Drinkin' wine wae yer meal must be good for yer hert.

”Eureka !” cried Erchie “the method tae beat ‘em all”
”Is a wee gless o' Eldo and two paracetamol”
But he thought since his hale life he's aye been teeto”al
Wan gless widnae dae so he drank the hale boa”le.

Then oan wae his Reeboks doonstairs he did flee
Right in front o' a bus number 44B
It knocked him six metres a terrible sight
But the autopsy showed his cholesterol wis right.

It wis some consolation tae his family physician
That he died with his hert in a perfect condition

They say that small troubles are sent here to try ye
They tell ye whit’s fur ye will never go by ye
If yer names oan the bullet ye wulnae be spairt
He wis hit by a bus that was bound fur Cathcairt.


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 01:15 PM

Have just Googled "Eldorado" wine, but most hits were for the El Dorado vineyards of California, which I am sure produce far better wine. There is now also a Scottish tonic wine, complete with saltire label, called Eldorado: similar to the Buckfast Tonic wine produced in Devon, but so much imbibed by those who like a fortified wine! Not the same, I think, as the Eldorado "plonk" we used to get back in the 60s/70s in red, white and rose.


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Anne Neilson
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 07:12 PM

Tattie Bogle -- the fortified 'Eldo' was Adam's target in the song; it's been around for a long while and was popular because of its cheapness (and, of course, the label of 'tonic' wine made it sound almost healthy!).


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 18 Feb 19 - 08:54 AM

Ha-ha! Thanks for clearing that one up!


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: weerover
Date: 18 Feb 19 - 02:04 PM

There were a number of these fortified wines which were popular in central Scotland because of their strength to price ratio: Eldorado (now appearently making something of a comeback), Lanliq, VP and Four Crown spring to mind, and Melroso in the east, with a few more localised favourites. For whatever reason, Buckfast (originally intended as a "tonic" for older people and advertised in publications like "Woman's Weekly") began to predominate and eventually came to have a virtual monopoly. It continues to be hugely popular, to the extent that I have often heard its aficionados ask simply for "a bottle of wine".


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Subject: RE: PermaThread: Songs of Adam McNaughtan
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 18 Feb 19 - 03:00 PM

Adam is an amazing wordsmith!
How I wish someone had compiled all his introductions when he was compering concerts/folk festival events etc....he always seemed to have a wee four liner that brought grins to our faces and painted perfect word pix of the performer about to come on stage!
Perhaps Adam will have an archive of these wee creative bits and pieces? He is a very organised person.....


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