BS: The Rules

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Raptor
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 06:32 PM

Carol That stinks! (Good one)

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 02:32 PM

To me this all comes down to a modicum of intelligence, a lot of common sense and the ability to understand your partner's needs and wants, even if you can't always understand or fulfill them. In some relationships there isn't enough communication about the things that really matter going on and that is where the problems start. Maybe if there was more emphasis on getting to know the other person by really talking at the beginning of a relationship there might be more chance of making it work. Rules on both sides seem WRONG.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Jeanie
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 02:30 PM

Exactly, Bob. A mixed group provides the balance.

Guest: I only reply to remarks by Mudcat members, where a person has the courtesy and courage to say who they are publicly.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Deckman
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 01:26 PM

I'm not going to get into a pissing contest on the "rules," but I do want to respond to something that Jeannie said. Some ten years ago, I was invited to join a fledgling bussiness association. It was only four months old and in it's infancy, all it's members were women. I attended a few meetings and decided that the concept was sound and I committed myself to join. The first thing I did was bring in 7 men friends of mine. Within a year we were solid, fun, active, and as a business referral networking group, we were very successful.

I'd only been a member a few months when a couple of the founding ladies mentioned to me, quite separate of each other, that they were VERY glad when men started joining the group, as an "all wimmen" group usually degenerated to everything except business.

I suspect that the very same kind of problem would exist with an all mens group! CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Megan L
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:56 PM

"1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor."

Raptor honey you made a mistake in number one, if a headache lasts that long YOU are the headache, she should see a lawyer
lol

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM

I'm with kendall here. The men I know are generally very thoughtful, helpful, and tremendously supportive. I feel really sorry for women who put up with the bores.

And this statement (by a woman above):

"The idea of *choosing* to spend any length of time with a group of women exclusively is totally abhorrent to me."

looks like a woman with tremendous insecurities, who appears to be unduly prejudiced against half of humanity.

What ever happened to balance, friends, and companionship lady? Only men can provide that for you? Sounds like you are one of those women who prefers spending time with men, so she won't have to compete with REAL women for attention.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:15 PM

Snurfle?

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:13 PM

Here (if you aren't familiar with them) are instructions on how a man can satisfy a woman every time, and vice versa. Save them for reference.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:06 PM

prrrrrtt...

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: 42
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 12:02 PM

1. never assume
2. make me happy
3. change your oil regularly
4. sing every day of your life
5. clean up your own mess
6. never argue with Raptor

j

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 11:13 AM

CarolC:

I have no way to know if I understood your post but it mde me LOL anyeway!!


Jeannie:

Start a garage -- you can hire a kid to be the mechanic, and you'll always have men around...


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Peace
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 11:10 AM

Consider it pulled.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 10:44 AM

Pull my finger...

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: artbrooks
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 10:11 AM

Raptor, let's add:

Let us ogle. We are going to do it anyway...its genetic. Feel free to do the same.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Midchuck
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 09:08 AM

You forgot one:

While you're standing in the open doorway taking your twenty minutes to say goodby to a female friend or relative who started leaving half an hour ago, THE GODDAM FURNACE IS RUNNING.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Raptor
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 08:07 AM

Kendall truth be told I did all that stuff too and I did the dishes all the time as well ! Heide didn't care too much for housework. But I do love Football sundays.

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: kendall
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 07:59 AM

Very funny Raptor! As long as we don't take it seriously.
When I have female company, I always leave the seat down. It's no big thing. I hate sports. Can't imagine why anyone would think that it's important which bunch of glandular cases wins or loses some silly ball kicking thing.
I'm a damn good cook, I do housework without complaint, and I don't mind doing laundry. When I was married, I did all those things because I was retired, and she was still working.
Furthermore, I like cats!
Ok guys, I don't respond to bomb threats either. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 06:12 AM

on the subject of headaches may I say two things.

1) 20 different excuses is one mute excuse. We ain't fooled - gals - why not just say it?.

2) My ex & I reached the pinnacle of nuptual harmony on the day we both had a headache. Which would have been bliss if she hadn't gone and blown it but realising and switching tactics and trying to seduce me. I just wish I had gone along with it just to annoy her!

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 05:06 AM

I really don't understand the sports thing.

But there is another rule.


1.   Learn to tell the time. If we need to be somewhere at a given time, so we need to leave at a given earlier time, you need to start getting ready before that. Enough time before that so that we can leave on time.

Oh, yes, and


1.   Men do one thing at a time. If we are going out to play music, and if you want me to tune all the instruments, we need to be there in enough time for me to tune them, and expecting me to go to the bar and get you a drink, or wanting me to talk to you while I am doing that only delays the process. And if you tune your guitar and I say it is not in tune, I may be right, or I may be wrong, but I mean your guitar is not in tune, not that you are useless at tuning guitars.


Oh, yes and


1. You want something done. Say so, and I can understand that. It may be something I can't do. If I can, I will probably do it. Sometime. But don't wait until there is not enough time to do it (including fixing any problems) before some important other thing, and demand that it is done THEN. I would like to finish the job.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 04:48 AM

My wife was in a bad mood for five years and had a headache for three years before she finally deserted me.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 04:44 AM

Good stuff from all..thanks...(Oh, and did I mention I'm REALLY GLAD to be single??)..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Gurney
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 04:24 AM

Lovely. Try the Barbera & Allen Pease books, such as 'Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps.'
Self-improvement books aren't really my thing (I'm a bloke) but these are these are very helpful for understanding the other gender. Then you can disagree from a more understanding viewpoint.

They are pretty funny, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: Jeanie
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 03:28 AM

Those rules are great, Raptor, and they list a lot of the reasons why I find a fair percentage of my own sex extremely irritating a lot of the time. Silly women, fussing endlessly over trivia, make me ashamed to be female ! I agree with you, pdc: It has dawned on me, too, that men really *are* that simple and straightforward, and that's why I love them and much prefer their company to female company. You know where you are with men. Women (even though I am one myself, and a heterosexual one too, in case anyone wonders) are the ones who are more of a mystery to me.

I have never understood those "all girls together" kind of events or groups (Church Ladies' Circle; Women's Night at the Gym...that kind of thing). The idea of *choosing* to spend any length of time with a group of women exclusively is totally abhorrent to me. This is something I'm not looking forward to about getting old: given the different life expectancies of men and women, there are far, far more old women than men. I hope and pray that whichever Twilight Home I end up in, there will be some scruffy old bloke in the corner, watching the horse-racing and scratching where and when necessary, who I can sit with and exchange monosyllabic jokes - only during the adverts, of course !

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: LadyJean
Date: 03 Apr 04 - 01:21 AM

I've never been married, but I had a male housemate for 7 years, so I know something about living with a guy. If I may offer a few simple rules for the gentlemen.

Your private parts will not fall off if you do something a woman asks you to do.

You won't turn into a woman if you pick up something that falls on the floor.

You won't turn into Phil Donahue if you wash a dish, launder a sock, or flush a toilet.

Don't expect your lady to look like J-Lo, unless you're willing to look like Ben Affleck.

Washing, brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes, shaving off stubble, will not turn you into a sissy.

Those athletes you spend every Sunday watching don't know you. They didn't run all over town to buy you that grownup toy you wanted. They didn't look after you when you got the flu. They don't sit through assinine movies because you like them, or put up with godawful music because you love it. They also don't have sex with you.

Just as a PS. I paid a visit to one of those internet dating services, on the advice of my sister. (Dad used to call her idiot child the second. The dog was idiot child the first.) I found a surprising number of single men past 40, all of them avid sports fans. I think they spent so much time watching the game, that they haven't had a chance at a relationship. I can't think of anything women do that's like that. (Most soap opera junkies have 1 or 2 soaps they watch regularly. You can miss 3 or 4 episodes of a soap, and miss nothing in the plot.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Rules
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 10:54 PM

Excellent and hilarious! I was in my sixties before I figured out that men really are that straight and simple!

Subject: BS: The Rules
From: Raptor
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 09:27 PM

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are
our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Raptor