BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 05:37 PM

1) I don't possess "a rope"

2) Imagination covers a lot of ground....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Becca72
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 10:26 AM

I've been single for 3 1/2 years now and can open my own damned jars, thank you very much. Now, spiders on the other hand...someone to kill them (when the cats can't be bothered) would be nice. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 10:00 AM

LtS:
Have you ever tried shooting pool with a rope?

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Jul 06 - 03:01 AM

Oh Art.... why throw in the towel just when you start getting interesting to golddiggers and nubile 23 yr olds who want to make you die a happy man.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 11:47 PM

By then I will be 81 years old--and just about ready to call it quits!

Onward and upward,

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 09:22 AM

A friend will buy you a vibrator for your birthday.

A GOOD friend will buy you extra batteries.

And the VERY BEST FRIEND will come over and turn it on and off for you - a..n..y...t..i..m..e...y..o..u...w..a..n..t.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: *daylia*
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 09:02 AM

Oops, that shoulda been a winch. Not a wench.

Sorry, fellow wenches.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: *daylia*
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 08:57 AM

And your very BEST friend will invent a remote control for it and mount it on double axles with a wench at the south end.

(So it can haul out the garbage when it's finished with you.)

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 08:19 AM

A VERY good friend will buy you rechargeable batteries and the charger.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 07:21 AM

A friend will buy you a vibrator for your birthday.

A GOOD friend will buy you extra batteries.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 01:52 AM

Others prefer the machine. Such is life.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 01:45 AM

Well, in my experience, when it comes to sex, most women aren't all that different from men. It is biological. Maybe not as often as men, but many women build up a sexual desire that cannot be dissipated by any artificial means. Some will admit that they can only be totally satisfied by a really good rough, earth-tremoring SHAG from a man. And vice-versa.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Bert
Date: 16 Jul 06 - 12:12 AM

John quotes

...Men also get worse grades than women...

That's cos for the first 12 years of their lives most of their teachers were women. *HEE HEE*

And GUEST, get a life, this is supposed to be a fun thread. A real man would just think up an outrageous come back instead of griping.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 09:21 PM

Well, I looked at that machine, BillD. What do you suppose that little brush is for?

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 07:53 PM

Too right Jane! See guys, you can still be useful.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 02:34 PM

Apparently these new sperm will be kept in a jar. So we will still need men to get the lid off:0))

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 06:49 AM

And all their worst fears will be confirmed,,,,,,,,,,,,,watching you take a dump.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Naemanson
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 03:11 AM

Bobert, old son, don't fret. I'm sure there are enough women out there who'll want to maintain a national park with some men in it. And zoos can be quite comfortable. Imagine a nice den with your TV and guitars and a refrigerator full of your favorite brew. The only thing is that there will be one wall open to the public (just as if you lived in the world imagined by our prez). Outside that wall women will walk by with their daughters telling them stories of how difficult it was to live with that gender and how much better the world is now.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Jul 06 - 01:31 AM

If you were the only girl in the world,,,,,,,,,,

you'd better have a strong back.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 05:22 PM

just advice, LtS...just advice... "trim your nails and no biting"

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 04:47 PM

Did you sell the puncture repair kits to go with them?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 04:04 PM

There is nothing so strange that it hasn't been tried and/or adopted by someone. The men have inflatable dolls, the women have these 'interesting' machines. What is sad is when the gadget becomes the focus.

(disclaimer: I worked in an 'adult' bookstore for a couple of years, I have SOLD inflatable dolls...maybe 3 in 2 years, and I think 2 of them were for practical jokes. At that time (27 years ago) they didn't have the realistic silicone ladies...and we didn't have customers who could afford £4000!)

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 03:19 PM

We he chewing on her shoes at the time ? We do that y'know.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Kaleea
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 02:25 PM

I recall a movie, made many decades back, in which the young married gals (in New York City, I think) used a dog training book to train their young husbands. The couples were all deleriously happy until one time when one of the young men found the hidden area in his wife's closet where she kept all of the dog/husband training stuff & figured it out.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 02:22 PM

That was for aspic jelly more like, possibly blancmange, but whatever it was, it was almost certainly something with a gelatine base.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 02:07 PM

But Ebbie, a few months back at an antique mall they had a marvelous huge jello mold, early 1900s(?) cast iron. Maybe I should go back and see if it's still there.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 11:51 AM

They didn't have plastic yet, John. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:32 AM

I'm gonna buy a paper doll That I can call my own
A dolly other fellas cannot steal
And all those flirty flirty guys With their flirty flirty eyes
Will have to play with dollies that are real

When I come home at night She'll be there waiting
She'll be the truest doll in all the world
I'd rather have a paper doll That I can call my own
Than have a fickle hearted Real Live Girl.

So what's new since the '20s?

John

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Emma B
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:32 AM

and for the discerning Scots/Welsh catters

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST,redundant incumbent
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 09:04 AM

women are just objects

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 07:49 AM

JIK - thanks for that second article - so very true for all of us!

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 01:05 AM

Coming from the person who said this

but by then men will probably be redundant. After all, all we women need to keep on reproducing is just one, very fertile male specimen. Of course there are those of us who will miss the action but, heh, we shouldn't be selfish about this. Its probably a very good way to decrease the population.

that is so nice of you to say.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: dianavan
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 12:55 AM

I thought it was a thread not a threat, GUEST goon.

JIK - I already knew about the first article but the second was a treat!

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 12:27 AM

Another men are shit threat. Yea.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 12:22 AM

In a separate NY Times article titled What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage (By AMY SUTHERLAND, June 25, 2006) the author cites experience preparing to write about animal training:

[quote]

I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.
Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.

I was using what trainers call "approximations," rewarding the small steps toward learning a whole new behavior. You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock. With the baboon you first reward a hop, then a bigger hop, then an even bigger hop. With Scott the husband, I began to praise every small act every time: if he drove just a mile an hour slower, tossed one pair of shorts into the hamper, or was on time for anything.

I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. … … …

The exotic animal known as Scott is a loner, but an alpha male. So hierarchy matters, but being in a group doesn't so much. He has the balance of a gymnast, but moves slowly, especially when getting dressed. Skiing comes naturally, but being on time does not. He's an omnivore, and what a trainer would call food-driven.

… … …

[end quote]

woof

John

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 14 Jul 06 - 12:18 AM

The New Gender Divide The headline is: At Colleges, Women Are Leaving Men in the Dust

The gist of the article is that men are not doing as well largely because they aren't trying as hard.
Also noted is that quite a few colleges are beginning to impose "sexual preference" in admissions, because of "concern about the larger number of female applicants."

Note: You may be required to "register" to see the article. I did their "register" thing a few days ago to look at something else, and I may still have their cookie(?).

Random quotes:

A quarter-century after women became the majority on college campuses, men are trailing them in more than just enrollment.
Department of Education statistics show that men, whatever their race or socioeconomic group, are less likely than women to get bachelor's degrees — and among those who do, fewer complete their degrees in four or five years. Men also get worse grades than women.
And in two national studies, college men reported that they studied less and socialized more than their female classmates.
… …
What is beyond dispute is that the college landscape is changing. Women now make up 58 percent of those enrolled in two- and four-year colleges and are, over all, the majority in graduate schools and professional schools too.
Most institutions of higher learning, except engineering schools, now have a female edge, with many small liberal arts colleges and huge public universities alike hovering near the 60-40 ratio. Even Harvard, long a male bastion, has begun to tilt toward women.
"The class we just admitted will be 52 percent female," said William Fitzsimmons, Harvard's dean of admissions.
… …
Ms. Smyers, also at American, said she recently ended a relationship with another student, in part out of frustration over his playing video games four hours a day.
"He said he was thinking of trying to cut back to 15 hours a week," she said. "I said, 'Fifteen hours is what I spend on my internship, and I get paid $1,300 a month.' That's my litmus test now: I won't date anyone who plays video games. It means they're choosing to do something that wastes their time and sucks the life out of them."

John

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 08:06 AM

When my son was managing pubs I would go help him. The one thing he wouldn't allow me to clean was the men's toilets. He said that they were just too disgusting. Never saw any problems with the ladies loos.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 03:43 AM

Well if Ladies loos weren't designed by men - putting the toilet roll dispenser on the wall behind the seat, cisterns so big you can't sit properly, roll dispensers that need hands like Balinese temple dancers to get the paper, cubicles so narrow that you bash both elbows at once and end up sitting on the Sanibin.... one wash basin for a 4 seater with a mirror the size of a Graham cracker and no towels..... then maybe we'd have a bit more room to manouvre and tidy....

At least ours smell nicer.. and I've been in enough Gents loos to know - just as the Admiral!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 03:09 AM

Speaking as a plumber who once did the maintainance work for two local breweries, the ladies toilets in pubs were by far worse than the mens.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 07:50 AM

"you shouldn't see how messy some men can be in PUBLIC toilets"

Well I would agree if I had the evidence of comparison. But for the comment from one or two stewards at festivals who recount the "worst of" stories about ladies loos - it would make your hair curl - or maybe straighten depending where the hair is.

Blame it on the Guiness perhaps.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Bert
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 01:20 AM

Aaahh yes! Bill D. I've visited such houses and the underside of those seats would make you want to throw up.

On the other hand I visted a couple of old spinsters one time and on lifting the lid saw a little sign that read "Oooh goody! a MAN!" (not really a true story, one I heard somewhere, but I have known such darling ladies).

I agree with Eric the Red though, and think that that day is far off.
AND the dildo will also have to kill spiders, put up a shelf in the kitchen, take out the trash, scratch a back, give a good foot rub and a massage, go out at two in the morning to buy chocolate or tampons or whatever it is she needs, wash the car, mow the lawn, dig the garden (or at least rent a tiller) go out to work to pay the rent, etc. etc..

No guys, we've got nothing to worry about.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: bobad
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 10:13 PM

"Urine is sterile I believe."

Males' should be, females' usually is not, take a look under a microscope.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 09:57 PM

If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!

(PS--I don't CARE if it's up or down...my arms ain't broke and if I can see it I can move it.....middle of the night and dark...nother story..I've fallen in more times than I care to count! LOL)

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 08:35 PM

Danged!!! I just knew it!!! The reason that we're gettin' pahsed out is entirely related to the toidy seat...

Well, not to, ahhhh, mix metaphers or dangle any corpusals but was't it a ******man****** who invented the the toilet???

Hey, according to the Wes Ginny Slide Rule, that oughtta atleast give us a reprieve until like 2061 'er so....

Thank you, John Crapper...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 05:53 PM

A stigmastism? First time I've heard it called THAT!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 05:16 PM

Thing is girls that it don't always go where you point it, it can be looking one direction and peeing in another. Call it an astigmatism if you like!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: DMcG
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 05:06 PM

Recommended Reading: COnsider Her Ways by John Wyndham ...

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 04:51 PM

Well, you ought....scratch that....you shouldn't see how messy some men can be in PUBLIC toilets/loos/your euphemism here. I know that certain 'disorders' can be a problem, (including being fat and/or drunk), but there ARE ways to be reasonably careful, even if it means sitting down like the women!

On the other hand, I once knew a woman who carefully cleaned everything in her apartment...except the toilet! She, living alone, never raised the seat, so she never looked under it!

I guess we all have to be aware of our 'contributions' and show consideration.

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 04:20 PM

Unfortunately some men just can't manage to avoid hitting the edge of the bowl when they pee. If the seat is up and one hits the head in a tearing hurry (long journey home or whatever...) it is possible not even to see that the seat is up and then sit on the wet bits. Not nice. Worse than what sometimes happens when you get caught short - the time taken putting the seat down can make all the difference....

My ex-husband was one whose aim wasn't always of the best and he just would not put the seat down, or clean up after himself (passive aggressive, I think). I had a slipped disc - couldn't walk and was reduced to crawling to the toilet. Trust me, that is when you don't want to see the leavings or to have to try and reach to put the seat down.

More concisely - it is less uncomfortable for a man to pee when the seat is down than for a woman to sit on the loo when it is up!

(But I am still against the idea of getting rid of men!)

Subject: RE: BS: Men to be phased out by 2021???....
From: Becca72
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 02:10 PM

The bowl itself is still teeming with germs that don't need to be exposed to my pets/friends/family by having the whole thing sitting wide open when not in use.