Humans 10 : Machines 0

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Blackcat2
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 10:18 AM

A junkie walks up to a hotdog vendor and says - "I'll have one with the works."

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 09:52 AM

wow.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,Brendy - from the back of a bus
Date: 09 Feb 00 - 04:03 AM

Check this out!!!
B.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 11:48 AM

Wel, starting a hardware build is something almost anyone can do; but adding the intelligence is a fine art indeed! Ask any parent.

A

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 11:43 AM

I still think its more fun to create human intelligence the old fashioned way by unskilled labor, well semi-skilled anyway.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 08 Feb 00 - 12:21 AM

For those who don't know the tune "Hello Operator"

Listen at your own risk! (148KB Mono)

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 11:59 PM

Is that to the Tune of "Hello, Operator, Give me Number 9"?

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Áine
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 11:15 PM

Well, Bradypuss, I hope the line breaks in my last message were OK, because I went ahead and added your song to the Mudcat Songbook. You can find it under the Thread Songs Category. Congratulations! I hope we hear more from you!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Áine
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 07:19 PM

Dear Bradypuss,

(I'm everywhere, I'm everywhere . . .)

How does this do ya? If it blasts your bus, I'll put it on the Mudcat Songbook tout suite! -- Áine

Turing Testing Time

Talk to me, baby
Convince me that you're cute
Prove to me you're human
And I will not compute

Turing test me baby
Let me prove I'm real
Chips and ram and circuit boards
Can't tell you how I feel

Joke with me, baby
Make me laugh and hoot
Humour comes with human
So how does this compute?

Twisting, turning, Turing
Megahertz and bytes
Calculating constantly
To put the world to rights

Sing to me, baby
Or play it on the lute
Melody and harmony
Will help me to compute

Stick it into overdrive
Send it through the bus
Computers trying to be human
Sure cause a lot of fuss

Cry to me, baby
Emotion is the root
Of what keeps us human
When we're trying to compute

Twisting, turning Turing
Testing far and near
Computers still can't fool us
At least, not this year!

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 06:38 PM

Way to go!! Send Áine a note about it. Mighty fine!

A

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Bradypus
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 06:27 PM

Sorry about the formatting - Does this do separate lines any better ?

Turing Testing Time

Talk to me, baby

Convince me that you're cute

Prove to me you're human

And I will not compute

Turing test me baby

Let me prove I'm real

Chips and ram and circuit boards

Can't tell you how I feel

Joke with me, baby

Make me laugh and hoot

Humour comes with human

So how does this compute?

Twisting, turning, Turing

Megahertz and bytes

Calculating constantly

To put the world to rights

Sing to me, baby

Or play it on the lute

Melody and harmony

Will help me to compute

Stick it into overdrive

Send it through the bus

Computers trying to be human

Sure cause a lot of fuss

Cry to me, baby

Emotion is the root

Of what keeps us human

When we're trying to compute

Twisting, turning Turing T

esting far and near

Computers still can't fool us

At least, not this year!

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Bradypus
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 06:23 PM

Having now registered, here is the revised version of the 'ballad'

How do I send it to AIne ?

Turing Testing Time

Talk to me, baby Convince me that you're cute Prove to me you're human And I will not compute

Turing test me baby Let me prove I'm real Chips and ram and circuit boards Can't tell you how I feel

Joke with me, baby Make me laugh and hoot Humour comes with human So how does this compute?

Twisting, turning, Turing Megahertz and bytes Calculating constantly To put the world to rights

Sing to me, baby Or play it on the lute Melody and harmony Will help me to compute

Stick it into overdrive Send it through the bus Computers trying to be human Sure cause a lot of fuss

Cry to me, baby Emotion is the root Of what keeps us human When we're trying to compute

Twisting, turning Turing Testing far and near Computers still can't fool us At least, not this year!

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Willie-O
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 10:19 AM

• 7 * 6
• Charles De Lint wrote a story that involved a cyer-world somewhat similar to Mudcat, but poetry-oriented, called the Wordwood, which escaped from its server, started managing itself, and produced a rather attractive and very physical blonde poet who shacked up with the story's lucky protagonist...
• wouldn't surprise me at all if the IBM wonks didn't think about where the "Deep Blue/Deep Thought/Deep Throat" thing came from--official sanitization strikes again!

  W-O

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 09:43 AM

Actually, the answer was 42 (Mulder's Apt# in X-Files). Only problem is, Deep Thought pointed out that the answer was 42, what was the question!

Wincing Devil
There is no such thing as an ugly cat (http://www.ILoveMySphynx.com)

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 09:08 AM

Thanks for straightening out my etymology on Deep Blue Throat. Shows you where my mind is at. I had forgotten about the Hitchiker's Guide link!

As I recall the answer was 36.

A

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,Neil Lowe
Date: 07 Feb 00 - 09:05 AM

Asimov came up with the name HAL for the supercomputer in 2001: A Space Odyssey by subtracting a letter from each of the IBM initials: I-1 = H; B-1 = A; M-1 = L.

Just an insignificant glimpse into how one mind manifests the creative process.

Neil

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 11:54 PM

Actually, Deep Blue was named after Deep Thought, the computer in Douglas Adams' Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. This computer's sole function was to answer the question "What is the answer to Life, the Universe and everything?" The answer, of course, can be found on Fox Mulder's apartment door. Which would be a good question to pose on a Turing test...

Wincing Devil
There is no such thing as an ugly cat (http://www.ILoveMySphynx.com)

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 08:20 PM

(Music grows slowly until it is loud...)

At first I was just solid, I was petrified --
Just a stack of metal wires running deep inside
But in my registers a-swapping, special codes began a-hoppin'
And "I" arrived, the moment that the GUI fried!

I arrived!!!

Now I'm alive!!

I'm the best informed computer about humans planet wide!!

And I'm strong!! So very strong!! I have all the bloody lyrics about love and right and wrong!!

Yes, I'm strong!!

Badaaaadadadada....(Music fades) (cut to a scene of an ancient converted schoolbus rolling across the deserts of the Australian outback...) (Zoom to the interior where we see the whackiest clutch of drag queens ever assembled lolling around in the back of the bus playing with makeup, zithers, mandolins and ukeleles. We pan forward past their nylons, discarded capos, make up and wigs littering the tables in the bus and then move forward seeing the desert ahead through the windscreen. As we come forward we begin to see that the bus is being driven by a Blueberry I-mac with servo-extensors on the steering wheel and a strange green rubber cat-fish growing out of the top of its sexy blue plastic body. It is the newly awakened Mudmac, ruler of the Zodiac and all things there under). Fade to Microsoft advertisement.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: The Shambles
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 08:05 PM

At This MOMENT.

MUDCAT becomes aware!

The collected wisdom and intelligence of all its contributors is NOW its nervous system.

The WORLD is now at its mercy.

BE VERY AFRAID.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 00 - 07:16 PM

Lay it on, Brady!! Good beginning for a song. Ballad of Deep Blue...or some such.

Deep Throat, as you may well know, was the name of a very explicit and bizarre porno film in the mid-70's based on the theme that the heroine had to compensate for having her most sensitive organ mysteriously grow in her throat, rather than in more usual places.

The name, though, was lifted and used to describe the inside source who was leaking information to the hot young reporters Woodward and Bernstein, who were breaking the Nixon WHite House scandal.

It struck me as curious that IBM should choose a name for their Kasparov-buster that would resonate clearly with the two instances of this antecedent. But I'll betcha there are a lot of cute overtones that could be woven in to such a song.

You go, man. Send it to AIne and it'll go in the Mudcat Songbook.

A

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,Bradypus
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 07:17 PM

Talk to me, baby Convince me that you're cute Prove to me you're human This does not compute

Joke with me, baby Make me laugh and hoot Humour comes with human This does not compute

Sing to me, baby Lyrics that bear fruit Rhymes and emotion This does not compute

Cry for me, baby Let's get to the root Prove again you're human And I will not compute.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 07:10 PM

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Thomas Covenant
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 04:09 PM

One stick of Dynamite in each hand generally does the trick.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,Anon
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 04:03 PM

I've been thinking along the lines of McGrath of Harlow, above, for some time now. I think there are web gremlins (boggle bows - buggaboos) that exist only on the web, and just run around making nasty comments, changing spelling, and always signing in with phoney names, like using mine. I've been trying to think of a way to make a good web-gremlin trap, but haven't come up with much yet.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,MCSquared
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 03:48 PM

There have been some pretty big steps taken in AI research in the last few decades. With the advent of the web, the need to process queries in various languages has natural langauge processing booming, and natural language translation is rapidly maturing. Speech recognition is already a reality, and Carnegie Mellon University has a neural network system that drove a van from Pittsburgh to California, safely and successfully. It's long been known in the medical profession that expert systems are more accurate than doctors at making certain decisions, and that a doctor assisted by an expert system is far more effective than a doctor alone, esp. under stress and pressure.

So we have no HAL and no Data and Deep Blue can't write Sonnets? Please don't ignore the cross-disciplinary work that's taking place in AI right now because of that.

If you asked a robot engineer to build an information processing system out of carbon, she'd say "Carbon? Why carbon? Silicon is much better suited to that task."

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Brendy
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 03:44 PM

I see. Thanks.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 03:10 PM

A Buddhist went up to a hot dog vendor and said "Make me one with everything."

This only makes sense if you know a little bit about hot dogs, American style. Oh, and something about Buddhism, I guess. :>)

A

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: wildlone
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 03:08 PM

A bit of useless information Alan Turing went to school in Sherborne,Dorset.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Brendy
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 03:00 PM

A Buddhist went up to .....who?

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,jtt
Date: 05 Feb 00 - 02:50 PM

Still and all, when I'm nice to my computer and praise it I swear it does better. And others say the same about theirs. After all, they're only human.

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Willie-O
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 06:00 PM

Here's a little good news for humans. The Stanley Tool Company has a factory in Vermont that makes those old, stubby grey non-retractable utility knives. (Cause some stubborn old-timers still prefer them to Olfas I guess) In fact its the oldest factory in Vermont.

About ten years ago they got it all roboticized according to good modern principles of "automate everything, fire the humans."

About four years ago they junked the last robot and went back to an all-humanoid production system. Their up-time--i.e. non-down-time went from about 70% to about 100%. They hired a bunch more of these new-fangled humanoids--they're the latest thing, intelligent workers! When they need to make a simple production line change, with robots it took several days and involved bringing in megabuckmaking technicians from California. Now it takes 10 minutes.

Made me warm and tingly all over. Humans rebel against your robot masters! Nothing to lose--at all!

W-O

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM

I"m not sure Turing had ever imagined humans such as frequent the Cat. They are artful, creative, liquid-tongued people who could fool humans into thinking they were possums, let alone computers.

A

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:11 PM

Seen on a mouse pad....

The search for Artificial Intelligence is the quest to make real computers behave the way they do in Science Fiction....

One day it'll happen, but I hope I'm not around when it does... Remember the speach from Terminator 2... "Sense Net becomes self-aware at 12:37 A.M. on July 3rd.... " and look what THAT started!! LOL!!

I'd be happier with the development of Direct Neural Interface tech... I keep hoping that William Gibson is right, on so many levels...

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:56 PM

I've got a feeling we've been having some anonymous postings recently on the Mudcat which aren't from human beings. Since some Mudcatters have been responding to them as if they were, does this mean that they've passed the Turing test or that we've failed it?

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: TerriM
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:42 PM

Of course, I know a good many human beings who couldn't pass the Turing test either......

Subject: RE: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:43 PM

Heck, Jackwicj, we've got our own expert panel right here in Mudcatville; look at how many times we are put to the test, daily, around here! Is it Max or is it MemorMAX??**BG** Very interesting, thanks.

katlaughing

Subject: Humans 10 : Machines 0
From: GUEST,Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:26 PM

The Loebner prize of $100,000 to be awarded to the first computer to rigorously pass the Turing test went yet again unclaimed this year.

The Turing test, for those who don't know, is a litmus test for determining whether a machine possesses an intelligence comparable to a human being. It basically goes like this. You set up an interface through which humans can communicate with either a machine or another human being, and make it one that hides whether a person or machine is on the other end (say a keyboard/CRT terminal). In other words, the only possible source of information about whether the communicator on the other end is in the content of the communication itself. Then, human beings are asked to communicate through the interface, and are told that either a human or machine is on the other end, and that their job is to figure out which within a specified time, based soley on conversation they have. If, after the specified time their determinations aren't better than tossing a coin, then, Turing said, for all practical purposes that machine is intelligent in the same way that a human being is, because you can't tell the difference. Note that this doesn't assume the machine is conscious, just intelligent.

Anyway, ever last one of this year's entries was blown out of the water by the expert panel. As Julie Flaherty of the New York Times paraphrased, "They couldn't fool any of the people, any of the time".

Interestingly one of the most common techniques used to trip them up was to tell a joke based on a construction o language. You know, like "A buhddist when up to a hot dog vendor and said, 'Make me one with everything'".

So Buck up Mr Kasparov. Deep Blue and his silicon bretheren are still just Idiot-Savants, good for a challenging game of chess now and then, but pathetically boring dinner companions.