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Jesus' Penis
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Subject: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Manasseh Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:13 AM The Bible Question thread raises interesting points- was the Son of God Made Flesh made with a penis? And what are we to make of the morality of Conversion by Fornication? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: MMario Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:17 AM Why wouldn't He have been? and Jesus showed by his teachings and associations many times He had no problems with fornication, just adultery. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: The Shambles Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:17 AM Given the faith that he was born into, it may be a good idea to recognise this and 'cut a lnog story short'? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:25 AM New Year's Day used to be the Feast of the Circumcision, for Catholics, but we had it changed a few years back.
There's a allegedly true story about a pedantic parishioner who used to insist on wishing everyone, including the parish priest, "Happy Circumcision" instead of "Happy New Year". Maybe that's why they changed it. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Peter T. Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:27 AM I don't know if this is a serious thread, but there was extensive discussion of this and related matters in the late Middle Ages and the Renaissance, particularly regarding increasing numbers of representations of the naked baby Jesus in paintings with the Virgin Mary. A recent book on the subject was reviewed extensively a year or two ago in the New York Review of Books. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Wolfgang Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:09 PM The obvious link here is to The Holy Foreskin. No foreskin without penis. Q.E.D. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:15 PM On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise him, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived. (Luke 2:21)
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: The Shambles Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:13 PM Sorry. I did tackle this one a little half-cocked. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:23 PM On the contrary, you're a real prick. (JUST KIDDING!)
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Jim the Bart Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:38 PM Wolfgang - thanks to the link to that site. I'm always looking for new insights and POV's. Bart,eschewing cheap attempts at humor, for once |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:03 PM It would be nice if we could get the input here of some of the people from the Bible thread. Praise's views on the joy of having Jesus inside you would be really interesting. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:12 PM Wha-hooo! They want me to talk about JAYSUS!!!! RIGHT after you tell me about your 200th hemorrhoidectomy, THAT'S when I'll talk about THIS aspect of our Lord, and me. (shaking her head, a slight smile escaping)... some people... ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:24 PM Guest Jon? June 4 to November 2 without a post and you choose to rejoin us with an insult to Praise's beliefs? Your "quip" is not only not witty, it is offensive. To anyone who chooses to continue this thread, please keep in mind that you are walking a very fine line between amusing some and genuinely hurting others. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:31 PM (It's OK, SINSULL. Jesus is tough. He can take it. He already did. The rest of us... aw, we're pretty tough too. You sweetie. ~Susan) |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Kim C Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:40 PM I think Alex settled it with the verse from Luke. It stands to reason that since Jesus was supposed to live and suffer as a human bean, that He would have a little friend like everyone else. The Bible as we know it doesn't say so but I imagine He was tempted as a result of it, like everyone else. On the surface it seems like a ridiculous question, but me being an enquiring mind myself, I can understand it. I came up in the Southern Baptist church, and my elders did not care much for my enquiring mind. But God gave me it, and my inquisitiveness has got me out of trouble as much as it has ever got me into it, maybe more. And I firmly believe that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost all three have a very healthy sense of humor and do not mind a little good-natured ribbing once in awhile. If we laugh, and we are made in God's image, then He must laugh too. There are some verses in Proverbs about laughter but shame on me, right now I can't remember them. :D |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:43 PM We cross posted, Praise. To me, it is not a question of who can take it. It is a question of right or wrong. By the way, any idea of recovery time on an hemorrhoidectomy? Maybe Preparation H is the better route. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:03 PM Just remembered how the good sisters used to skirt the issue of circumcision claiming that it was the ceremony after the birth of a child where a woman would be blessed and allowed back into the Temple. She was "unclean" until then and could not leave her home. No mention of bris. Precocious little brat that I was, I pointed out that the Latin meant "cutting around". Ten "Our Fathers" and ten "Hail Marys". |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:03 PM Yes, but in some cases, surgery is such an attractive option to contemplate, eh? ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:04 PM Smegma, or not to smegma? You make the call! |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:08 PM I always admired Mrs. Bobbitt's approach. Anaesthetize him with a bottle of Jack, whack it off, and toss it out a car window. Oh sorry guys - a different operation. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:14 PM ...uh, yeah................... I assume since the rituals of the Jewish religion extend that far back, that a Bris of some sort would have been in order. Back in college, I have vague memories of discussing this in one of my religion classes and while Dr. Holloway and others seemed to be quite serious about it, my thoughts were more like, "Who cares? You've got to be kidding." Come to think of it, those are still my thoughts. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Irish sergeant Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:25 PM I always assumed, after flirting with several relions before converting to Catholocism, that if the bible didn't mention it. It wasn't important. However, being of the Jewish faith (Or at least, Mary was) Jesus went through bris like every other male child of his time and place. I was under the impression that he did have because I believe you couldn't be accorded status as a rabbi if you weren't "Whole". I haven't checked out Exodus lately and I am rather vague on the Jewish religion so my imformation may be wrong. If this isn't a serious threat asking a question for information, maybe we ought to back off these shoals. There are as pointed out a bove, people who don't necessarly have a sense of humor. I, personally think God does have a sense of humor. Hey, two words, duckbilled platypus! Hi Praise! Neil |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Russ Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:32 PM Chalcedon (451 AD) " Following, then, the holy fathers, we unite in teaching all men to confess the one and only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. This selfsame one is perfect both in deity and in humanness; this selfsame one is also actually God and actually man, with a rational soul and a body. He is of the same reality as God as far as his deity is concerned and of the same reality as we ourselves as far as his humanness is concerned; thus like us in all respects, sin only excepted. www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/history/creeds.chalcedon.txt |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,A Believer Date: 02 Nov 00 - 03:38 PM I don't know how such a subject as this could ever come into someone's mind, much less degenerate into whether Mary the mother of Jesus could have conceived any other way except as the only miracle of its kind. I quote portions of Luke 1: -- After the angel told Mary she would conceive Jesus, v. 34 reads "And Mary said to the angel, 'How can this be, since I am a virgin?' v. 35 continues, "And the angel answered and said 'The Holy SPIRIT will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy offspring shall be called the Son of God.'" Putting it simply and plainly: the incarnation was accomplished by this creative act of the Holy Spirit in the body of Mary. This was a special miracle and miracles are not meant to be explained. And thank God for this miracle which was for the purpose of redemption of mankind!! |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:29 PM You find it offensive? As offensive as having to endure the born-again witnessing, proselytizing, and Mother ~Praise's Rescue Mission?? I think not. Hallay-freakin-looyah. Take it away, JEEzis. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:42 PM You are trying too hard, Jon. Not a word since June but now you're in an uproar over Praise. Very strange. She and I chat almost daily and she has never tried to convert me. What makes you so special? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:50 PM I'll try to convert you if you feel left out, Sinsull. Let's see, if you have Canadian and that's running at 66 cents American to the Canadian dollar -- just how much did you want to convert, by the way? No wait. I know the real problem. It's some temperature Celsius where you are and you want to know what that is in REAL degrees (Fahrenheit). I can do that conversion too. Actually the funny thing is, I've never seen Praise try to convert anybody. She is very vocal about her beliefs, but then again it's a free Internet and she has the right to say whatever she feels about her beliefs. But never have I ever seen her say, "you should become a Christian" or anything of the sort. Some people just need thicker skin, I'm thinking. If any Christian within 100 meters of you expressing anything about their faith seems to you like proselytization, you must be very insecure in your own faith (or lack thereof). Or maybe some people just hate to see others happy and at ease with their worldview? "I'm feeling existential Angst about metaphysics and so should you?" This seems to me to be the critics were feeling when Bob Dylan converted to Christianity (if that's what he did; he sure crowed like it, anyway). Or maybe there are just some people who can't live without bitching and moaning and complaining and raining on other people's parades. Or maybe I just need an ice cream cone. Yes, that seems more likely.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Tinker Date: 02 Nov 00 - 05:07 PM Well,I'm much more accustomed to being told I boarder on the heretical than the evangelical. Hey Praise, I brought up the mystics and you got the heat. Sorry. I still think it's just the bar going lower and lower in an attempt to prompt a real rage. When there has been so much already said through the ages, who would want to compete with the writings of Catherine and Julian anyway.... And all will be well:~>and all will be well:~>and all will be well:~> :~> :~> Tinker Catspaw--enjoyed the prayper doll... but it leaves this thread unanswered...LOL... |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 05:10 PM C'mon Tinker. Join me and the mouse in an ice cream cone. We,re converting from vanilla to chocolate. Just remembered: I saw a great T-shirt called the Tinker with a picture of the Thinker with tools. Thought of you. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Lonesome EJ Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:03 PM Wasn't it Christ Who said "there is no such thing as BAD publicity"? Come to think,might have been Pilate. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: BigDaddy Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:04 PM Whatever our personal beliefs, I don't see why anyone would want to begin a thread with such a title. Whether it's a "serious" thread or an attempt at humor, it's inappropriate. I'd be equally offended were the reference to Buddha, Mohammed, Confucius or any other revered spiritual leader. Come to think of it, I'd be offended no matter whose name was attached. I'm sure there are places out there where such wording might be considered funny or cute. I'd suggest that's a good place to stick it. I'm not a prude by any means and I'm not offended by any honest and open discussion of sex or religion; but I have been weary of middle-school "humor" since middle school. My congratulations and best wishes to all those who took this annoyance with good grace. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:13 PM Thank you, Big Daddy. That's what I was trying to say but got caught up my own self righteousness. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:38 PM Yeah BD and Sins........They took it real serious in that course too and like I said, who gives a hoot? This one may be a topic for the great minds but to me its both dumb and just another pot-stirrer. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Tinker Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:49 PM Sins you made me laugh out loud. It was my converting to chocolate that first got me regular practice in coping with flame throwers.Fifteen years ago today the Mr.and I legally hooked up. Barely notice 'em anymore, well the blatent ones occaisionally get a down right belly laugh these days..... Tinker Where did you see the shirt? Catalog? Store? Can I get my hubby to scoure the city? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Jeri Date: 02 Nov 00 - 06:50 PM Either it was a troll, or a little kid asking. It's the sort of question a little kid would ask. The answer you would give a little kid is "Jesus was a man and most men have penises." I've got a few smart-ass answers I'll keep to myself. It's a real bitch when guest trolls only winding up trolling guests, who further troll. I sort of wonder if we have someone talking to themselves here. (Wouldn't be the first time.) It isn't as offensive as it is silly. And a bit desperate... |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 07:00 PM Catalog, Tinker. I still have it. I'll let you know. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 00 - 07:11 PM JEri, while a troll it may be, I swear to you there are scholars that actually take this seriously. Why, I have no idea............ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 02 Nov 00 - 07:32 PM Sorry, Daddy, but:
Subject: RE: Bible question
Um, harpgirl, dearest, you have a right to be offended, but we also have a right to be
Subject: RE: Bible question
I also wonder, would you walk up to people discussing these topics at a folk venue |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: katlaughing Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:17 PM Harpgirl rides again! Sheesh, Abby, cut it out! My 4 year old grand-nephew wanted to make sure of his anatomical parts, so asked his mom if all boys had "a penis and balls like me?" She answered, "Yes." Then he asked, "What do girls have?" Before she could reply, he said, "Oh, I know! Girls just have hair!" Too bad that we still can't just let the flame-induced threads die quickly, eh? kat |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: harpgirl Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:52 PM kat...you don't honestly believe that was me do you? It wasn't...I swear to you on the death bed of my next dying AIDS patient. I did start the World AIDS Day thread, however. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:55 PM Kat, My friend took her little boy to the YMCA for swimming classes. It was coed and afterwards the children changed into dry clothes in the ladies locker room (2-4 year olds) before going home. For a full week her son walked around clinging frantically to his penis and would not stop no matter what she said. Finally she got him to talk about it. It seems he had seen the little girls in the locker and assumed that theirs had fallen off.He was terrified of suffering the same fate. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: hesperis Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:38 AM So now we have the true origin of the concept of 'penis envy'! It was cooked up by a man who was afraid of losing his 'manly parts'! I'm sorry, I had to post... that story was just so cute! |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: BigDaddy Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:15 AM If the "Mudcat Christian Coalition" is offensive to you, Guest,Jon, then after years of considering myself a number of things other than traditional Christian, I'm almost ready to resume going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays and praying for misguided souls like yourself. As I told Praise recently, she reminds me of the best of my Christian forebears. She seemingly doesn't judge; she simply states her truth and beliefs and apparently practices the Golden Rule. Here at Mudcat there are apparently a number of "coalitions:" Wiccan, Pagan, Christian, "New Agers," skeptics, etc. The best of these seem to have found a way to share a number of things (including beliefs/disbelief) without stepping on toes. When I first arrived here, I innocently asked what "flamers and trolls" were. I guess now I know. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Nov 00 - 03:59 AM Well why shouldn't we have these types of discussion here, after all, a Pope in the 1200's outlawed half the Franciscan order because they reckoned that Jesus laughed!! Of course he has a willy, he was a man. There are men in the world who have willies; they don't let it rule their lives, or use it to think with, and they don't go poking them into every known orifice, they just use it to pee with. I mean, you spend a week making a nice planet, you make a being in your own image, and then you make it a partner, and you give them dangly bits. If you're going to go through all that effort to make humans, and THEN make your own son go and live with them, then surely you want him to fit in? LTS |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: KingBrilliant Date: 03 Nov 00 - 08:37 AM I hesitate to post, but.... I'm genuinely interested to know on what basis there would have been a belief that he didn't have a penis? Was it prudery or was there some genuine theological argument? Also, what is Conversion by Fornication, or is that just something someone has made up? Not sure why this thread exists, but I'd like to know the answers to the above questions..... Kris |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Russ Date: 03 Nov 00 - 10:18 AM KingBrilliant, It took the ancient church a while to sort out the appropriate ways to conceptualize and talk about the person, ministry, and purpose of the earthly Jesus. Some early theologians could make no sense out of the notion of a deity (infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, etc.) becoming a human being (finite, limited in all the ways humans are limited). It sounded like logically contradictory nonsense to them. Some couldn't handle the idea of God as a completely spiritual entity (spiritual/nonmaterial = good) truly becoming a human material entity (material/corporeal = bad). Others couldn't deal with the idea of an incarnate omnipotent deity apparently being thwarted and truly suffering, dying, and to all appearances failing. So for a variety of reasons a variety of "theories" denying the true humanity of the earthly Jesus were developed. Sometimes these theologians are grouped together and referred to as "Docetists." They insisted that the earthly Jesus was only an illusion and only seemed to be human, to have been born, to have lived and suffered. You will occasionally run into contemporary Christians who are uncomfortable with the all the implications of a fully human earthly Jesus. You might want to take a look at www.newadvent.org/cathen/05070c.htm |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,sat Date: 03 Nov 00 - 10:39 AM Yaw are a bunch of jackass's and retards |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:20 AM S'OK, Daddy, I know You'd like to be my father, you'd like to be my dad And give me kisses when I'm good and spank me when I'm bad... So would Mother ~Preys'. By all means, believe in and practice whatever superstitious magic you wish- but please don't be surprised if certain individuals object to it being repeatedly shoved in their faces. Please take your condescending superiority and bogus concern for "misguided souls" and stick it firmly in your left ear, Daddyo. And save your "prayers" for someone who asks for them. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:25 AM Help mah Boab gang,lichten up !!! The subject is hilarious.Ha ha ha ha ha ,ah 'm still haein a stroke aboot the "holy earwax" definately a pearl o great price.This has naethin dae dae wi the "Big Yin" it's aboot makin money aff a scam. Ah hae a dissertation aboot a similar subject.Ah 'll see if ah can "resurrect"it efter ah stop laughin.Ah wis nearly threw oot anither site wi this ane. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: hesperis Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:42 AM Looking forward to it, LJC!!! I don't mind people living their beliefs in public places as well as in private. I would mind it if people shoved it in my face, and constantly tried to convert me, and told me I'd burn in hell if I didn't go along with them. I don't see any of that here though - just some people who are living their beliefs. You know, it's pretty accepted in psychological circles that if someone has a real problem with other people's beliefs, it usually means he has a problem with his own beliefs. Well, if you have a problem with other people believing whatever they belive, get a therapist and work it out there, ok? If your religion is a part of your life, and a part of who you are, it's going to be evident. But that doesn't mean you are actively trying to convert people to your beliefs. I see no fire-and-brimestone threats here at all. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:42 AM I could hardly believe it when I saw the title of this thread, so I ignored it for awhile. Now, having investigated, I find it is a treasure trove of humour, indeed. However, to wax serious for a moment here, I think we might all ponder as to why the word "penis" raises such concern in people's minds? Why should it? Why should it be any more controversial than "ear", "foot", "leg", etc. It's a part of the body. Surely all parts of the body have an equal and essential right to be appreciated and respected. Why are so many swear words associated with the penis (or the vagina)??? Or sex generally??? Pretty sick situation. These are indications of a culture that's got a serious problem around sex, largely due to the misguided efforts of 3 churches over the past few thousand years...the Jewish, Muslim, and Christian churches. I certainly don't blame Jesus for that. I blame a long succession of guilt-haunted priests and religious authorities, who have misused his name. Too bad Jesus couldn't have stopped by and given them a good stiff lecture and straightened them out. (How's that for Freudian language, eh?) Mind you, they'd probably just have burned him at the stake or something like that...as an impostor or a heretic. Hooray for Jesus, and phooey on the flippin' churches! (most of 'em, that is) |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:50 AM OK,here we go.This is a bit on the wordy site but a couldnae figur oot whaur tae"cut it aff" so tae speak !! Btw ,ah never wrote this,ah got it aff the net. Now that I've got your attention, I'll go back and tell the whole story. Apologies if it gets a little lengthy, but this yarn deserves to be spun well. BTW, TAE THE MAN UPSTAIRS,FEEL FREE TAE DELETE THIS IF YE LIKE AS IT'S NO FOR WEAK STUMMICKS.
BACKGROUND
After I was circumcised as an infant, the wound was not taken care of with sufficient diligence, and it healed incorrectly. Portions of the raw edge of the remaining foreskin bonded to the glans, a little bit above the lower edge of the glans. This left a series of "skin bridges", basically sections of foreskin which can't be retracted, because they are fused to the glans at one end and the shaft at the other. These varied in width from about 1/16" to 1/4", and were attached off and on over about 2/3 of the circumference. This was never a major problem. It was a long time before I even realized it was abnormal. Everything functioned properly, but there were a few minor problems with it which made me wish I could fix it. Mainly,
It was a cosmetic defect -- it didn't look good.
It was tough to keep clean under the bridges -- I had to swab it with a Q-tip now and then to knock down smegma buildup.
Some of the most sensitive parts of the glans were hidden under relatively insensitive chunks of foreskin, robbing me of the proper stimulation which was mine and every man's birthright.
Now, all a doctor would do it sterilize it, numb it, cut it and bandage it. "Hell, maybe I can do that!", I thought. The problem was how to kill the pain. I experimented with cutting myself (with an x-acto knife), but seeing as it always hurt like hell before I even cut anything, I never went through with it.
Recently, I came back and studied the situation. Again, the problem with the self-surgery approach was dealing with pain. There had to be some way of numbing the area, but how? One winter day, it hit me.
SURGERY KIT Cuticle scissors (1 pair)
Rubbing alcohol (1 bottle)
Antibiotic ointment (1 tube)
Anti-bacterial soap (1 bottle)
Gauze pads (lots, various sizes)
Ice cubes (iodine added to water for sterility)
Clean Washcloth (freshly laundered with lots'o bleach)
Well-lit work area (the kitchen table)
PROCEDURE
Wipe down work area with alcohol. Clean penis with soap and water, then with alcohol. Wash hands thoroughly. Soak scissors in alcohol. Holding the ice cube with the washcloth (to prevent your fingers from going numb), apply the ice cube to the target area. Hold for 5 to 10 minutes, until area is numb.
Using the cuticle scissors, sever the skin bridge as closely as possible to its connection with the glans. Then sever the foreskin end of the bridge in such a location as to leave an even edge on the foreskin.
Use gauze pads and direct pressure to stop the bleeding, then apply antibiotic ointment and bandage.
THE OPERATIONS
Though the operations are not painful if done correctly, the healing process is a real pain in the ass. It also takes a certain state of mind to be able to cut your own flesh. I would kind of put myself into robo-man zombie mode for the operations, in that I never dwelled on what I was doing, I just mechanically plodded through all the steps without thinking about how totally gross it was.
Since the ice cube could only numb a small portion of the penis, and since I could only tolerate so much trauma to my dick in one session, it took 6 separate operations, spread out over a two week period, to cut/remove all of the skin bridges.
Operation #1 (Day 1)
The test cut. I chose a small thin skin bridge, about 1/16" across. I held the ice cube on for 5 minutes. The ice caused a peculiar kind of "cold ache", but it wasn't that bad. I gingerly made the cuts, and sliced through with no pain at all. There was some minor bleeding, but because of the speed at which I worked, I had finished and had the gauze on it before the wound had any chance to bleed significantly. After about 10 minutes the bleeding was stopped and I bandaged it up, no problem at all. Only a tiny little speck of flesh had been removed, rather unimpressive looking.
Operation #2 (Day 3)
Operation #1 turned out so well, I decided to go for big game this time. The target was the mother of all skin bridges, about 1/4" across and very thick and meaty. Again, I made the preparations and applied ice for 5 minutes.
I made the first cut along the glans, and was surprised at how much I had to bear down on the scissors. This skin was surprisingly tough. I finished that cut, and then turned my attention to the cut on the foreskin side. Wanting to get it done quickly, I decided that two large, powerful snips should do the job. I bore down and made the first cut, and realized with a shock that IT HURT LIKE HELL.
Well, it turns out that due to the thickness of the skin bridge on that end, the cold hadn't penetrated deeply enough, and it hadn't gone numb. So, I was left with a problem. I had a half severed bit of foreskin hanging off me, and no anesthetic. My only recourse was to finish the cut. I thought, "Shit. This will hurt". So I lined up the scissors, closed my eyes, and as quickly and powerfully as I could, I made the snip. My prediction was correct; it did hurt (don't you hate when you're right about things like that?). I managed to avoid shouting out, instead opting for a few simple gasps and whimpers.
I resolved to hold the ice on for much longer in future operations.
I spent the rest of the evening with nothing on below the waist, sitting in front of the TV with a few brews (this became standard procedure for all forthcoming operations). Any motion tended to make it break open and bleed again, so I moved around very little. I was functioning (that is, walking) almost normally again by the next day, but it took about 5 days before this one completely stopped oozing blood.
As I gingerly hobbled back into the kitchen for another brew, I spotted IT, the severed hunk-o-foreskin that I had left on the table. It was of fairly good size, about 1/2" by 1/4" and maybe as thick as a piece of bacon.
Suddenly, strange thoughts entered my skull, and a raging mental battle between good and evil ensued.
EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."
So, I ate it. Turns out it was very tough and chewy, kind of like biting a little piece of rubber. I chewed for about 5 minutes, but didn't make any progress on breaking it down, so I swallowed it. It had a little bit of blood flavor at first, but after that it had no flavor at all; rather disappointing in that respect. Maybe I should have cooked it.
Operation #3 (Day 10)
A medium sized cut. I held the ice cube on much longer (10 minutes instead of 5), so there was no problem with pain. Not nearly as much bleeding, but still a respectable amount.
A word about erections: they were a bad thing. Any hard-on would tear the wounds open and start them bleeding again. This would be a problem for about 3 or 4 days until the wounds had healed sufficiently. Basically, I had to spend a long, long time without even thinking a nasty thought. Of course, when I was asleep I had no control over the process, which would always result in me waking up with a dick that hurt and bloody bandages. I was really lovin' life at moments like these.
Operation #4 (Day 12)
Another medium sized cut, but with the added bonus of having a small vein (about 1 mm in diameter) running through the skin bridge. Now, the blood supply for the penis mainly runs through blood vessels buried deep inside. When you get down the the small vessels, the circulatory system becomes more of a spiderweb, with redundant paths going to every point. So I knew it wasn't actually dangerous to cut it, but it was still a kind of psychological obstacle. I expected this one to be a heavy bleeder, and I wasn't disappointed. It took about a full hour of direct pressure to get the severed ends of the vein to close up. Otherwise, not too much of a problem.
Operation #5 (Day 14)
I was planning on more time to let the others heal, but due to changes in the way skin tension was being applied to the remaining bridges (because I'd cut some others away), one small bridge was getting a lot of stress and starting to hurt. So I chopped it quick and easy, no real problems.
Operation #6 (Day 15)
The problem with operation #5 was that it just transferred the stress to the next bridge down the line. So even though I had about 3/4" of flesh left to cut, I resolved to do it all at once in one last cutting frenzy.
Due to the size of the operation, it took a while to complete (maybe 1 minute total), which gave the blood a chance to flow. I had to stop a few times and wipe away blood so I could see what I was doing.
Strangely, this didn't bother me at all. It seemed perfectly normal that I should be wiping up copious amounts of blood flowing from my bleeding pecker which I had sliced open myself.
Actually, it seemed kind of cool at the time, which led me to speculate at the time that I had gone insane, which I also thought was pretty cool.
Anyway, except for the excess blood which had dripped on to the chair, it went quite well. The only thing that really grossed me out was when I noticed I had blood all over my hands. If any psychoanalysts want to analyze that tidbit for me, feel free, though I really don't care.
The wounds are now completely healed, and the results are good.
Mainly:
Without the skin tension holding things back, total dick length has increased by 1/4". (Of course I've measured the length of my dick. Like you haven't?)
It's a great topic for dinnertime conversation. Women generally seem to find it quite interesting. Men generally turn kind of pale. With my newfound surgical skills, I've been contemplating a few more self-surgical procedures. You know, mole removal, wart removal, nose jobs, the whole vista of cosmetic surgery. I'll need some help for that mole on my back, which means training an assistant. Ah, the future looks interesting indeed |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:01 PM At first I was afraid this thread was just an attempt by a sore atheist to get the Christians riled up. But golly gee, of all the people riled up, none of them seem to be Christians. Which is fairly predictable. So far the Christians I've seen here on Mudcat have been pretty secure in their faith. As somebody (Lewis? Chesterton?) said, nobody runs down the street yelling, "The sun will rise tomorrow!" except people who are afraid it won't. It's people who are insecure in their own beliefs that can't stand to hear others talking about theirs. I'd love to hear more about what the Pagans, Jews, Muslims, etc. believe. Aside from this being interesting and helping me to understand and appreciate my own beliefs (and correct them where they err), the more you know about somebody, the harder it is to objectify them and make them "the enemy." But what do I know? I like folk music.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:25 PM Couldnae hae said it better masel Alex. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:38 PM LJC, you are STRANGE. I like that in a person. Ten minutes with the ice, huh? (I have similar problems) Guest jon, go take a flying leap. Praise is nice people and doesn't deserve ANY crap from YOU. Whatever your problem is, take it somewhere else if you can't remain civil. If you don't like Praises posts, the answer is real simple but I'll spell it out for you so you will be sure to understand. DON"T READ THEM. There. Wasn't that easy? And if you are a good boy, next week we'll teach you to tie your own shoes. troll |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:46 PM 1. On "Penis Envy:" Freud was a filthy old misogynist who projected his insecurities on the neurotic old ladies he treated. What he really envied was the fact that they were "getting it" and he wasn't. IMHO. 2. LJC, you failed to address the real question that arises from your lurid tale, at least for us guys. HOW DOES IT AFFECT PERFORMANCE?!
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:51 PM Ah dinnae hae clue Alex,as ah said ah never wrote it.Mah Willie is workin fine,ta very much. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Matt_R Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:54 PM LJC, daen't they ca' it a "pego" up in Caledonia? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: annamill Date: 03 Nov 00 - 12:57 PM With all due respect, and love, for my Christian friends, and having proved to my satisfaction That Jesus Christ had a penis, am I the only one who has other questions regarding his manhood?? (I tend to ignore flaming) I never heard anything about him being married that I can remember, though there were questions bandied about regarding Mary Magdelana weren't there? hmm, interesting thought. Never occurred to me before. He was a man though. I'm not playing or being facecious, just curious. Love, annamill |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:05 PM Never heard o it Matt. Regardin the Big Yins marital status if ye can get yere hauns on the book"Holy Blood-Holy Grail" ye can unfold anither piece o the puzzle.Noo ah'm no endorsin the book, ah'm jist sayin it is very interestin. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:07 PM The stuff about Mary Magdalene is 1. very recent, and 2. usually brought up by people attempting to discredit Jesus, or who have some other axe to grind. Any historical evidence we have indicates he was a single guy throughout his earthly life. Does this cast aspersions upon his "manhood"? That seems a very cynical and prejudicial view of singleness.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Lonesome EJ Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:08 PM Little John,it sounds like your surgical efforts were much more successful than my attempts to remove my own appendix under a general anaesthetic.However,if I finally do succeed,I will marinate it,bread it,and send it to you by post with a bottle of Coleman's Mustard. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:12 PM Sounds guid LJ. Talkin aboot Colemans mustard,did ye know that they made their money aff the mustard that fowk never ate? There wis aye a big blob on the plate when aw the food wis gone. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: annamill Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:17 PM Oh MT, I wasn't attempting to discredit Jesus, or casting aspersions upon his "manhood". To me he was just a man, and I'm just curious if he was like other men in his needs. He certainly died like a man with all the pain and agony any man would feel. Why wouldn't he have other manly feelings too? And, for goodness sakes, why do feel having sex would diminish him in any way? SEX IS GOOD! Love, annamill |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:23 PM I know you weren't trying to disparage Jesus, Annamill, but many have. I'm sorry if what I wrote made it sound like I was blaming you. Sex is good but it's not the only good, nor the highest. The historical record shows he was single. The religion he belonged to reserved sex for marriage. Hence, we believe he was celibate. Does this mean we think sex is bad? No, it does not. Indeed, it doesn't imply any opinion about sex one way or the other.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:33 PM LJ....I think you may have |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: The Shambles Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:46 PM In pre Viagra days, it brings a whole new concept to 'Stand up Stand up for Jesus'. Pumped full with irony.....
To be serious for a moment. Whether the 'Son of God' was intact I would not know. The historical Jesus undoubted was. But then again, if his rather unusual unusual, for those days, un-wed state is to be believed, it may account for why he was un-married. I suspect that this un-wed state was a little bit more of St Paul, the spin doctor. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Amos Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:52 PM Good or bad, sex sure is human. And given that he was on his thirties or later when he got nailed, Big J had the normal experiences of the flesh. That means he got erections annd was conscious of the DNA-driven electricity that starts snapping and popping around human bodies in the presence of certain signals. whether extremely subtle (such as telepathic links, minute glances, faint traces of chemistry or certain electronic wavelegths) pr gross (such as direct flirtation, suggestion, contact, etc.)
I don't think anyone who has grown up male has managed to stay unaware of these dynamics, and I think the whole question of cultural overlays defining what one "should" do in the presence of such stimuli should be omitted from the question as trivial and irrelevant. Some of the reasons: I doubt anyone could correctly and clearly describe the real cultural signals that a youth of his time and place and heritage would have been exposed to; although it is kind of fun to speculate on what it would have been like growing up over at Mary and Joe's place or places, learning to walk, discovering toilet training (how did they manage that?), learning to point when you pee, and learning where all the local paths, hidey-holes, good fort places, best trees and cute neighborhood similar-aged girls were. What do you reckon it would have been like at around eleven to thirteen to start to go through the boy-to-man transforms, voice, hair, balls and all, at the same time as you were beginning to notice your own forect path to the Infinite and All-Powerful of the whole Universe? Mary, who was in on the whole scheme, would probably have known better than to yell at him to stop talking to himself, it'll stunt your growth, and such like maternal responses. Joseph apparently got all his insight into the lad second hand, which he was obviously willing to do. So maybe he would occasionally slip into some kind of paternal archetype like, oh, telling th eboy he'd better not sass his Mom any more if he knew what was good for him. How do you handle that if you're only 13 or 14 or so and saddled with half-built muscles and a hot-line to God??? Interesting temptation, I imagine. (If my folks don't start treating me better I'll get them blasted! That's what I'll do!!) Or, conversely, did he spend his whole maturation endowed with a kind of otherworldly tranquility beyond all normal physical and cultural measure? Dunno. But given that he was made in the human form, there is no question, if we accept the premise, that we have to include erections, seminal fluid, sweat, spittle, and all the other concomitants of running a meat-based body around. Otherwise we are not being consistent to our own assertions -- in other words, just dicking around. A |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:58 PM HAH! I'm surprised it took the armchair psychologists this long to level their bogus charges of mental instability to anyone who doesn't choose to philosophize or mitigate or excuse poor taste. LOL! Of course, no chance of their projecting their own psychoses on others, yes? Yo, Trollo! Talk about Big Diddly's middle school humor! Pretty pitiful attempt. Maybe this week someone can teach you to wipe your own butt. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: annamill Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:59 PM I still love you Amos! You just put my thoughts into words. Thanks. Love, annamill |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:04 PM Is that what you were doing, GUEST Jon? Sure sounded to me like you were just being an asshole. Still does. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: bbelle Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:11 PM Personally, and this IS my personal opinion, I find the title of this thread offensive, and am embarrassed that I even ventured in. Having said that, I have obviously broken my vow to myself to not venture into any thread with trolling components. I am Jewish and find the title and original subject matter disrespectful towards my friends who do believe in Jesus. No matter what I think about "Christian" threads, this is disrespectful. And, I would expect the same support should someone attack my faith and feel confident it would be forthcoming. Alex ... as for educating yourself on the religious beliefs of others, I commend you for your thirst, however, mine are personal and I never feel the need to discuss or explain them. They are what they are. I'm sure others will be more than happy to assist you. Jenny |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:30 PM Thanks for your insightful commentary, Mouse. Am I supposed to call YOU a name now? You forgot your cute little rebus, by the way. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:33 PM Never a dull moment,eh? For those ye wha wid like tae inquire intae the subject o the "Big Yin" withoot stertin anither WAR hae a look here, http://www.freeweb.org/freeweb/newage/jesus.html?p
Noo regardless o beliefS,Christian or Otherwise this is very interesting. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Tinker Date: 03 Nov 00 - 03:37 PM Annamill, You aren't the first to question and there are treatise out there of "complicated" scholarship and international best seller status which set out to explain that a) Jesus and Mary Magdeline were married. b) Had a daughter and two sons c) This lineage is the basis of the divine rite of Kings d) Arthurian Legends and the Holy Grail also come out of this quest. etc. etc. Oh,did I mention the conspiracy to keep this information out of public reach? I enjoy a good intellectual tangle, but this one is CONVOLUTED & COMPLICATED. If anyone has any interest you can find it here...
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Congress/2301/bookish.html |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 03:40 PM Ah, a conspiracy theory! This should juice up the thread!
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 03 Nov 00 - 04:07 PM I learned that LAST week, Jon Boy, while you were in remedial breathing class. Next week we are going to take on drinking from a glass. Tryn to be on time for a change. troll |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 04:30 PM Troll, who are you answering and regarding what?
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: annamill Date: 03 Nov 00 - 04:37 PM Moonjen, did you read all the postings? No one attacked anyone's religion, there are just questions and curiosities. Agreed some of the postings are a bit childish, but we ignore those, right. Basically, this is an interesting thread and when I get home, if I'm not wiped, I'm going to explore those links. I mean, you know Moses and David was married and had children. We know almost nothing of Jesus's life before age 32 and death. I'm curious. Love, annamill |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Greg F. Date: 03 Nov 00 - 04:45 PM Troll, I think you meant that last post to go HERE, didn't you? Best, Greg |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Mrrzy Date: 03 Nov 00 - 05:28 PM (Shamefully admitting not having read the whole thread but wishing to add a thought) - aah, but did he have a BELLY-BUTTON? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 05:50 PM Why wouldn't he have a belly-button? Maybe you're mistaking him with Adam.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 03 Nov 00 - 06:06 PM No, Greg. It went where I wanted it to go. I was just answering Guest Jon's post to me. In kind. troll |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: bbelle Date: 03 Nov 00 - 06:07 PM anna ... I was referring to the original intent of the thread, which was most certainly to denigrate those who have a strong belief in Christianity. One has only to read the posts of Guest,Jon to know that. Had a mudcatter asked the question, I believe the title would have been more respectful. Jenny |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 03 Nov 00 - 06:33 PM Nothing of the kind, Jenny. I stated at least once above I have nothing whatsoever against practitioners of any type of superstitious magic,Christianity included. I do denigrate vulgar display, questionable taste, and persistance in a behaviour others have said is offensive to them. Cheers. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Nov 00 - 06:36 PM Alex - I thoroughly appreciate your comments above in your 03-Nov-00 - 12:01 PM posting. Very well said. I originally expected this thread to possibly be somewhat disrespectful, and took a few days before I investigated it, but actually I think it's mostly been very good. BTW, there are some very interesting alternate sources (to the Bible) which suggest that Jesus: a) fell in love once, and considered marriage, but decided against it for various reasons having to do with his spiritual work (see: The Aquarian Gospel of Christ - by Levi) b) actually did marry Mary Magdalene and had children by her (I can't give you a title on that...maybe ask Little John Cameron about it...I bet he knows) Either of those may in fact be the true story. The books in question are entirely serious, and deeply respectful of Christ and of his Gospel in every way, although they differ in some areas from the commonly accepted version of his life. I think that a reading of them would only deepen and confirm a Christian's faith, regardless of whether or not the premises set forth in them were accepted or not by the reader. This assuming that the reader in question is not deathly afraid of even considering a new wrinkle on an old story. Such a person is basically unreachable, since he figures he ALREADY knows it all. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 03 Nov 00 - 06:46 PM Thank you, LH. Actually my reason for not reading those books is that I trust the people who compiled the NT and who defined Xianity in its early days to have done a good job, so I don't think I'm likely to believe them, and I have enough things to read without delving into long-solved debates (we're talking centuries here) which brighter minds than mine (i know, not hard) have already wrestled with. But if you were over at my house and we were drinking wine (i dislike beer) together and pulled it out and said, "read this" and the passage was short enough, I certainly would. Guest Jon, do you really not think you will ruffle feathers by calling Christianity "superstitious magic"? Or that it's not offensive and insulting? You say you denigrate persistence in offensive behavior; yours is offensive. Now that you've been told, you will either stop doing it, or give the lie to your stated morals. Moonjen: Thanks for your concern on our behalf. But really, we get this sort of "Jesus' Penis" thing all the time, and while it's offensive and obnoxious, most of us don't lose too much sleep over it. This is nothing compared to the "GUEST" on the other thread who said she wished I had been aborted. Now THAT is troublesome. Everybody have a great weekend, and DO try to be civil.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 03 Nov 00 - 07:33 PM Mouse, I haven't singled Christianity out. Its only one of the many forms of superstitious magic a.k.a.'religion' practised around the globe. Christianity is no better nor worse than the others. But I take your point as to being put on notice. Tell you what- let's try a compromise. Praise has been told repeatedly over many months by many people that they object to her witnessing & such. You get her to pack it in, & I will, too. Deal? Cheers. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Tinker Date: 03 Nov 00 - 07:34 PM Little Hawk, the other may well be Bloodline of the Holy Grail, by Laurence Gardner which I gave a web adddress to above. Sorry MT but it's about 500 pages of footnoted history. It's very involved but I did read all of it a few years ago.I found it a little much to swallow whole, but it raises some interesting questions. As a female Christian I've a lot less faith in the infalibility of the early church fathers to decide conclusively what is "appropriate" and "acceptable". Those wonderful Irish folks infact were still ordaining women as priest well into the 6th century. And Brigid was a Bishop. But there's just enough message and light to keep me journeying and digging out the buried bits of past now and then.... Tinker |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 03 Nov 00 - 08:40 PM The wis a braw pint ah,though a had tae leave there tae as an argyment stertit there as weel,aboot whit side o the road ye walk if ye are LEADIN a horse an cairt.Seems ye cannae go oneywhere withoot a barney. Ah mentioned H.B.H.G. Book awready LH but as ah said then it is jist an interestin book. "As far as ah'm concerned"the ane wi the answers is The Grail Message"IN THE LIGHT OF TRUTH"ah telt ye aboot it afore.Yese'll hae tae find it yersels as ah dinnae mind the url.It'll be on yer search engines nae doot. Hi Tinker,the early Celtic church wis different aw thegither fae the Roman ane.When the High Heid Yins in the Roman church decided that they wid tak ower the show an that ye had tae believe them or ye wid be set on fire or tortured that wis when the ball wis up on the roof. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 03 Nov 00 - 10:25 PM Moral standards that are open to compromise are not moral standards at all. They are simply expedients. this lack of true moral standards suggests a real need for a system of ethics such as are found in religion, philosophy, and the like. I do not know why, Guest Jon, you seem to have such a problem with Praise. I have personally found her to be a very warm and caring woman. I have never seen her force her aid on anyone who did not want it but to those who ask it, she gives unstintingly of her time. Her faith is who she is. The few times that I have seen someone take offense at something she has said, she has apologized and tried to explain why she said it. Obviously, there is a history here of which I am unaware.Perhaps if you stated plainly what you have against Praise, the rest of us might be a little more understanding of your position. Or you can continue on your present course. It's really up to you. troll |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: katlaughing Date: 04 Nov 00 - 02:21 AM Two highly recommended books, "The Secret Doctrines of Jesus" and "The Mystical Life of Jesus." Both can usually be found at the used books sites, such as Bibliofind. The author is H. Spencer Lewis. The were written in the 20's or 30's, can't remember exact date, so the vernacular is a little formal and odd, but they shed a lot of light, IMO, on some of the things brought up in this thread. kat |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: M. Ted (inactive) Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:20 AM I am just surprised that no one has posted song lyrics-- |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 04 Nov 00 - 01:53 PM Wrong, Trollo!! Are you sitting on your brains? I've said this before, and I'll try one more time (this is in English, now. Make sure the simultaneous translater is on): I am NOT directing this only or specifically at Praise. Get it? She is one of a group. She has, however, chosen to elect herself as spokesperson for the MCCC (Mudact Christian Coalition) and as such, I suggested to the Mouse that he deal with her. OK? Oh, and you missed a bit on your left hemisphere- try wiping again, maybe with both hands? |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 04 Nov 00 - 01:57 PM Guest Jon. Your posting merely proves my point. troll |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: little john cameron Date: 04 Nov 00 - 02:04 PM JON, read whit ye jist said.Troll,yere richt on. ljc |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: mousethief Date: 04 Nov 00 - 02:13 PM Jon, I don't make deals with bullies. Further, I challenge you to point me to a thread where Praise was proselytizing rather than just talking about her faith. If you are an honest man, you will stop insulting religion by calling it "superstitious magic" or other such epithets. It's up to you to show us just how honorable you are. It's not up to us. You said, "I do denigrate vulgar display, questionable taste, and persistance in a behaviour others have said is offensive to them." You didn't say anything about how the offender was being treated, or what his/her opinions were about those he was offending. If you continue being offensive, you are nothing but a hypocrite. People who are only nice to people who are nice to them, or whose opinions they approve of, aren't honorable, they're just wily. Again, my statement must stand: the Christians here have dished out far less abuse than they have received. If you don't like that, it's time for you to do something about it: namely, stop being abusive. If you find any Christians being abusive, by all means let me know. I'll chew them out too. Civility is not an option if a community is to thrive. It is a necessity.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: M. Ted (inactive) Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:28 PM It is worth noting, Jon, that your opinion that of the hundreds millions religious people in the world (and of their respective religions) are followers of superstitious magic, is very simply, your opinion--doubtless, you have your reasons for believing such a thing, but it isn't implicitly true, and when you carry on the way you are, you seem to be saying that nearly everyone in the world is wrong but you-- I think that you probably will need a more graceful manner, and a more organized presentation, if you want to get anywhere with your ideas--
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,Jon Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:00 PM Thanks for the civil post, Ted, but you're belaboring the obvious- what are any of the items on this forum but the opinion of the person that posts them? Unless you're suggesting that certain individuals hear speak with God's authority? I'll work on my presentation skills for next time- I'm sure that the Hallelujah Chorus will pick up again before too long. I count religion but a childish toy, And hold there is no sin but ignorance. -Christopher Marlowe (ca. 1589) Yours in Christ. Jon |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: GUEST,dtking Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:00 PM Well, this was a fascinating thread. I would have ignored it, except for the 99 replies. Some of them are thoughtful, curteous and entertaining. The topic may be trivial or offensive to some, but at its core is the universal quest for clues to the nature of god. dtk |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:49 PM Oh now c'mon man.......Wait a freakin' minute.....universal quest for the nature of god?????.........Are you huffin' me? Gimmee a break........ Albert Schweitzer did an excellent work back in the mid 50's called "A Quest for Historical Jesus" and it was an interesting exercise in establishing that this man did exist. This thread is an amateurish attempt to figure out if the lad had a dick. Not at all the same thing and I'm curious as to how we can learn of the nature of god through an examination of JC's tool! Let's try not to read too much into it huh? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Amos Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:15 PM Well, Spaw, look at it this way --- we know what he did with the laying on of hands.... so just IMAGINE.... |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:31 PM Amos, the laying on of hands is one thing but what you are suggesting...I mean a good Jewish boy would NEVER...well not in PUBLIC anyway...I mean the tsurrus to the family... well, it just wouldn't happen, thats all. Better he should get married and stop all this schlepping around the country with these fishermen and tax collectors like a schnorer and worrying his poor mother half to death and come home and go to work with his father in the carpentry shop. troll...who could go on in this vein for hours. |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:38 PM I think Lenny said the difference between a Jewish girl and a schikse is that the gentile girl "wouldn't let you touch it, but the Jewish girl would let you touch it....your own, that is." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Troll Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:49 PM Difference between a Jewish Mother and an Italian Mother. The 18-year-old daughter stays out until four o'clock in the morning. The Jewish Mother crys "You're going to kill me!" The Italian Mother crys " I'm gonna kill you!" troll |
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Subject: RE: Jesus' Penis From: Mooh Date: 05 Nov 00 - 11:26 AM Having devoted the last 1/2 hour of my life to reading this thread and deciding the debate has been exhausted, or at least isn't likely to attract significant new or enlightened thought (but please prove me wrong), herewith my two cents. Christ was equiped with all the moving parts of the average male of humankind. Whether he used those parts carnally does not matter to my faith as a Christian. Temptation was one of his major teachings so it would be logical that he had and used his penis. The method God used to impregnate Jesus' mother doesn't really matter to my faith, but did the Holy Spirit enter as sperm, flesh, or some other place along the line of miraculous conception is a question for people who have more time on their hands than me, who should I expect think about spending at least equal time on the gospels. The subject doesn't offend me in the least, as it has an academic element, and it does amuse me. Frankly, just as I see Christ as the first great socialist (hey, there's another thread...), I see him as having a sense of humour. How could he not if he was a man? Finally, I've never found anyone in Mudcatland trying to convert anyone else or foisting their views on others. It's virtually impossible as this is a virtual place. Personal faith can hardly offend before it violates nature. Is there any hidden meaning in my waiting 'till Sunday to post here? Peace. Mooh. |
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