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BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club!
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Subject: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:15 PM I wish to announce a most prestigious and marvelous piece of news! The official Clinton Hammond Fan Club has been formed, with its offices in the Barrie area, southern Ontario, Canada. Raptor is the President. I am Vice President. My dog, Valdy, is secretary-treasurer and Nilson, a local Barrie-area skunk who lives near Raptor's house, is in charge of security. We all agree that Clinton is remarkable. He hates grass and birds and despises New Age philosopy. He murders skunks by proxy. He is secretly planning to destroy the planet Earth and exterminate the human race. He's an excellent musician. He exhibits the tenderness of a sledgehammer and the compassion of a moray eel. His beard is extremely well groomed. He loves "Trailer Park Boys". When I think of Clinton, I can't decide whether he should be knighted or hanged! All these qualities put together result in a man who really deserves a fan club, and that is why we formed it. PM Raptor if you don't believe me. We are planning to host a getogether in May at Raptor's place, and we encourage all Clinton Hammond fans to come and camp out on Raptor's floor, play music, and watch episodes of Trailer Park Boys on the big screen with surround sound! Yowsa! Be there or be deprived. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:23 PM Who wants too join? I will send you an Official Clinton Hammond fan club T-shirt!(for the cost of shipping) Raptor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Bobert Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:25 PM Well danged. Count me in. Any other prestigious and cushy jobs left? Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Benjamin Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:29 PM Gee, I don't know. I can't commit to it yet (a full schedual you know) but if Firecat joins, then I'll join too. Good Luck! Benjamin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:30 PM Do -I- get a T-shirt? LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:32 PM No You get Nothing! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:33 PM Feew... The last thing I need is another damn T-shirt! Hehehe |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: GUEST Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:33 PM Why did you start this thread? Reading your contributions, Little Hawk, I assumed that you weren't an utter dimwit and had some useful things to say. Maybe I was wrong. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Ebbie Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:39 PM Clinton will come to Orillia on a gig and sell out. And will make more money than you even dream of. And that will be your punishment, Little Hawk and Raptor. Shame, shame, shame... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:40 PM C'mon, Clinton! You get the glory. Isn't that enough? Nilson is waiting eagerly for your arrival... GUEST - You are obviously a kindred soul! I love you too. Where do we send your T-shirt? (I started this thread, actually, because Raptor phoned me up and asked me to. He's the President of the Club, so I had to do it.) Bobert - We need an official spanker, and I guess you'll do. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:40 PM Guest, Clinton Hammond Has a sence of humor Little Hawk does too I need something to laugh at lately Get one yourself and sign in with your member name! Raptor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:44 PM This is SO goin' on my web site! LOL Can I at least SEE a t-shirt? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:44 PM Aw, c'mon, Ebbie...you have no idea how much money I can dream of. :-) If Clinton sells out, so much the better! Anyway, it's all happening at Raptor's place, so why should I worry? He's almost as crazy as Clinton, but in a different way. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: SueB Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:44 PM Ah - a Clinton Hammond impersonator already. Any one have tips for "Guest"? I have not been studying the Clinton Hammond phenomenon for long, but I think guest has not quite hit it on the mark - a good CH impersonation would be more acerbic and/or sarcastic and/or just plain ornery, and less gratuitously insulting. Regarding fan club, I'm available to scarf up free refreshments and complain about the organization's leadership and disbursement of funds. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:46 PM Ebbie We want to get Clinton up here but he said that he might be busy so we figgered that if we start the club he'll have to come! We would like nothing more than to see him get rich! He could eat caviar and baby on crackers every night! Raptor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:47 PM I have a digital camera, so I will photograph the T-shirt and send you the jpegs, Clinton. We gotta find an appropriate model to show it off right. Hmmmm... I wonder what happened to Suzanne? Eh, Raptor? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:48 PM -IF- I ever get rich, I promise to spread my bread around! bookmark this thread and hold me to it! :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:50 PM I've already got on made that says the Clinton Hammond World tour (from an earlier joke that little Hawk and I had on a thread! PM me and I'll send it to ya! Raptor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:51 PM Count me in. I'm not acquainted with Clinton's music and have no idea what Trailer Park Boys is (are?), but anybody that hates grass and New Age philosopy can't be all bad. I'll take leaf litter and good old-fashioned Nihilism any day! And there are a few members of the human race I wouldn't mind seeing exterminated. We'll overlook the extremely well-groomed beard, although that is a symptom of a major personality disorder. Why grow it if ya hafta groom it more than once a year? But, mainly I wanna be a member of the Clinton Hammond Fan Club because Clinton has inferred in another thread that I am paranoid. And here I thought the little purple-talkin' guys were the only ones that knew about that. Oh hell, guys! There he goes again! Get the nets and the tranq gun! And make sure the Goddammed thing's loaded this time. Hurry up, dammit! He's gettin' away again! Dammit! I don't care if Little Hawk hates the phrase "kick some ass", I'm gonna kick some ass! The rate you fuckups are goin' we ain't never gonna catch that ol' sumbitch! Yeeehaaawww!!! You little purple-talkin' fuckers'll never catch me!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:52 PM SueB - Don't worry about disbursement of funds! My dachshund, Valdy, is the treasurer, and he is completely uninterested in money. Accordingly, I do not think we are going to do any reckless overspending. Your concerns about the Club's leadership, however, are well-founded...to say the least. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Tinker Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:52 PM Perhaps Trailer Trash Barbie could model the T-shirts ??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 05:57 PM My Gawd!!! Will it be Trailer Trash Barbie or Suzanne that gets to model the T-shirt? This is tough. Bee-dub - Clinton didn't infer that, he implied it. I think... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:00 PM It don't matter whether he inferred it or implied it as long as it's true. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Cluin Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:02 PM Wellywellywell, now! Looks like you've hit the big time at last, clanmate. Congrats are on order. Shipping should take 2 weeks and remember to tip the courier. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Metchosin Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:13 PM I'll join! I'll join! Can I? He has an awesome recipe for mead and I think Trailer Park Boys are funny too. Sorry can't make it out to Ontari-ari-ari-O any time soon though......I'm so deprived. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: michaelr Date: 22 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM "-IF- I ever get rich, I promise to spread my bread around! bookmark this thread and hold me to it!" Clinton, I've got another promise of yours bookmarked. Ya gonna make good on it anytime soon? Cheers, Michael |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 22 Jan 04 - 07:27 PM You dind't get it??? Dang... I'll look around in my sent email folder and see if I still have it... Wondered why I hadn't heard from you about it Michael... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Bobert Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM L.H. Between being the "spanker" and the "spankee", I'll take the spanker post... When do I start? And..... what time is lunch hour... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:49 PM Ya starts when ya gits here. Lunch is purty well any old time as long as it's after breakfust. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Peace Date: 22 Jan 04 - 08:57 PM Clinton, The club president kept all the blowup dolls. Watch him. But, I'll join the club, too. T-shirt or not. Bruce Murdoch |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: rangeroger Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:03 PM I also would like to join. You could make another t-shirt design that has an arrow pointing to CH with the logo "I'm a Fan of Asshole" It would be fun to go up to Ontario and play a whole bunch of music and get blind drunk. Which reminds me, is Shane a member? rr |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Leadfingers Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:10 PM Do you need any one to front up the UK branch ?? If so can I offer my decidedly inferior services ?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:14 PM Yes you can! Inferior services is exactly what we're after here. We're not snobs. I haven't heard from Shane yet. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: harpgirl Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:14 PM I'll have a vinegar and water to celebrate! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: GUEST,SJF Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:14 PM So... I've been ghosting mudcat in my spare time as long as himself has been posting. I have finally been moved to post. Please don't do this... I have to live with him! And if you are doing this... I think I need a t-shirt for my pain and suffering. Signed Clinton's long-suffering wife Sarah |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Cluin Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:23 PM Sarah, I feel your pain and grok your suffering. I remember. ;) "I haven't heard from Shane yet." Are you waiting for the full moon, LH? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: katlaughing Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:41 PM CH sold out a loooong time ago and you lot are still going to let him eat babies on crackers?! Someone call the SPCC! I still want a t-shirt, though! Sarah, nice to see the better half!:-) kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: GUEST,Valdy the dachshund - Club Treasurer Date: 23 Jan 04 - 05:21 AM Of course I've never been interested in money - up to now I've never had any. Ah well I've just had a long phone conversation with my girlfriend Tamsin - she's a pekinese who lives in a penthouse and we are going to see about getting a lift installed so I can visit her. It's been tough up to now because you must realise Dachshunds with erections can't climb stairs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Jan 04 - 10:47 AM LOL! Poor Valdy had his knick-knacks removed awhile back, due to complications (he's getting rather elderly), so the whole thing is a fantasy anyway. I'll see if I can find a nice jpeg of Valdy somewhere...maybe. I figure Shane will drop in any time now. Sarah, you have my deepest sympathy! :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: catspaw49 Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:18 AM I'd be happy to join myself but I'd want a t-shirt with his picture and since he doesn't want his picture on a t-shirt, I'll have to take a pass on this at least for now. Outside of fanning yourselves, what does a fan club do? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:39 AM SARAH You get a T-shirt and a freakin Medal!!!!! PM me and I'll send you one first. (no shit) Raptor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Mrs.Duck Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:43 AM Well if it had his picture on it 'spaw I'd volunteer to model it - my chest would be a good match for his head! I'd only join if I could have a t shirt made in chain mail. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Metchosin Date: 23 Jan 04 - 11:58 AM Poor Valdy indeed, he just hasn't met a sexy Westie bitch and become excited enough. Our Old Wort, the dachshund cross had his knackers removed too, but that didn't stop Old Wort. Hell, he didn't even need Viagra, he may have been shooting blanks, but he lived in doggy heaven for the last few years of his long life. Yer of little faith Little Hawk, invite a a lady in an ermine coat to move in, his dick will be dragging on the ground again in no time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:45 PM You are probably right, Metchosin. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:50 PM What do we do? Well, we sit around and watch Trailer Park Boys. We play guitars. We grease the top of the bird feeder and watch the squirrel go flying off it in a desperate scramble of flailing arms and legs and laugh ourselves silly. That kind of thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Rapparee Date: 23 Jan 04 - 12:58 PM I volunteer to head up the Pacific Northwest Regional Branch of the Clinton Hammond Fan Club (PNRBoCHFC, for short). As my first official act I volunteer to drink good beer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Peg Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM I can't make it to Canada but I will serve as the Spiritual-Advisor-at-Large... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Raptor Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:46 PM Good, Peg Your in Say somthin upliftin! Raptor |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 23 Jan 04 - 01:50 PM So does that mean we pour out our problems to you, and you pour the spirits, Peg? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Announcing the Clinton Hammond Fan Club! From: Tinker Date: 23 Jan 04 - 02:22 PM Clinton, I think that's the bartender. |
