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BS: Mangling the English Language
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST,CLETUS Date: 10 Sep 00 - 10:02 PM Yall dun hit rite on wanna my leest favritist subjecks an thets how sum folks can massacree the Merican langwaj. Now I haint wun ta be a braggin er nuthin but Ise rite proud ta have me a forth grayd edgykashun an I no thet sum haint bin thet luckie an all. But itz a mitey fine thing ya axt heer an I doan holt wif nobuddy mezzin up whut thair sain cuz thay doan uze gud grammarly stuff. Jez doan holt wiffit tall. I allus duz my absulutest bez job when Ima tockin er ritin senz commukatin iz reel impotent. CLETUS (BTW--Cletus isn't a buffoon or a "shitkicker"....just a nice, well meaning, friendly, fellow who fell through the cracks in this country.......Spaw) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia Date: 10 Sep 00 - 10:41 PM Nonkalont for nonchalent, even sounds better. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: campfire Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:02 AM Jon, I'm with you on "borrow" instead of "loan". I have a friend who asked if I could borrow her my bicycle. I told her no, but I would loan it to her. She gave me a strange look... A woman I work with insists that the doctors told her that her mother has senile dimensions. campfire |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: The Beanster Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:42 AM Seems I'm guilty of misusing "comprise," also...learned a few things from this thread! I don't mind the mangulations (!) (ha) that result from a subpar education as much as I do the ones that are the result of being too lazy to look up the word in the dictionary! Expertise is one of those that gets mispronounced as ex-per-tees with an "s" sound on the end when it's supposed to be ex-per-teez with a "z" sound--like strip tease. A word I won't even use is forte (not the musical one, the other one) which is supposed to be pronounced as fort. But almost everyone insists on fort-ay. If I say it correctly, I'm corrected! lol Speaking of medical ones, it really sets my teeth on edge to hear someone say, "I have a temperature." Duh. And lucky you are, to have one! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Crazy Eddie Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:05 AM There are a few that annoy me, but I can't think of a pacific example right now.
But I wish we could form a committee, from all English speaking countries, to coin some agreed gender-free pronouns.
"If anyone has a suggestion, he should post it here." Someone, please coin some new pronouns. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Lonesome EJ Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:26 AM Using the suffix "-ness" on the end of any word.This is popular with sports announcers, who either went through Junior College on a Football scholarship,or studied Journalism Light."The offense was cohesive in the first half,but lost their cohesiveness when the Captain was injured.They were aggressive,but lost their aggressiveness." This can also be done with "-ability" as a suffix."The rain reduced the runnability of the playing field.The Quarterback was throwing hard,reducing the catchability of the ball." Actually,I have less of a problem with "catchability" and "runnability" since at least they describe the situation so that you understand,AND I'm not sure there are any other single words that describe these conditions. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:47 AM Nobody has yet mentioned the use of "apostrophe S" to create a plural. Usually seen at the market, listing the vegetables - though a fairly sizeable car repair and tyre depot close to me is called "xxxxx AUTO'S". Cheers, Terry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Bagpuss Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:32 AM Actually guest, auto's is correct. You use an apostrophe in a plural if the singular word is an abreviation (automobile). Bagpuss |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST Date: 11 Sep 00 - 08:38 AM A few years ago the plight of Gorazde in Bosnia became the center of brief media attention and Clinton mentioned it often during his addresses. He always mispronounced it "Goradze" and embarrassed me to be an American. That a world leader couldn't pronounce correctly the name of a city under siege seemed to belittle the suffering of its citizens. In the same vein, Jimmy Carter often talked about the "commonists." Maybe he was trying to coin a new word. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 11 Sep 00 - 08:56 AM I disagree with Bagpuss that it's correct to say XXX's Auto's. Surely "auto" for "car" is widely understood. The actual principle at work here is that if you are not well-educated and a word frightens you, then you protect yourself by putting an apostrophe in the plural. That's why we see "potato's" at the grocery store, etc. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST,James Date: 11 Sep 00 - 08:58 AM I am a great fan of crosswords..if you really want to see mangled English, poor spelling and non words galore...do the New York Times Crosswords...they are dreadful.. I often wonder how they do them....is the illiterate person on the clue end or the answer end... ? Also, I once had a teacher tell the class not to conjugate near the water fountain. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: rabbitrunning Date: 11 Sep 00 - 09:01 AM I have to be fairly forgiving of people who learned the word by reading. When I was in high school, f'r example, I kept reading about this author named "go-eathee" who wrote Faust. Imagine my embarrassment in my last year of college when my Norwegian teacher was working a crossword puzzle (at lunchtime) and I contributed my knowledge to fill in one of the answers. She looked at me with appalled eyes and told me "It's pronounced "Gair-ta". ???? *shrug* At least she knew who I meant. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Mrrzy Date: 11 Sep 00 - 09:17 AM Argh, yes, cohesiveness - what happened to cohesion? And one I forgot about from my childhood, when I thought my aunt had "very close veins" - made sense at the time, again! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: LR Mole Date: 11 Sep 00 - 09:25 AM "My-brain headache"?That was a definite "no-one really-says-that" for me until I heard someone call the senior-citizen disorientated condition "Old-Timer's". Makes as much sense as any other term, I guess. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Grab Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:25 AM Americanisms get me. OK, they have different names for some things, but that's just a dialect thing - you'll find that between different parts of Britain. But what gets me is the common mispronunciation of things where English says it normally, and the Americans have somehow gone off in a direction which not only doesn't match English, but also doesn't match the spelling of the word! For instance, "aloominum" instead of "aluminium" - why the long "u", and is the "i" thief at work over in the States? Grab. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: SINSULL Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:56 AM Two favorites - posted elsewhere, I think: public hair for pubic digitalis clock menestration for menstruation annoys the hell out of me. Come to think of it they both do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Steve Latimer Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:41 AM Ornch instead of orange. irregardless I seen that movie. Youse guys. I am an avid golfer and watch a lot of televised tournaments. It drives me crazy to hear these college educated ahtletes say "I hit it good today."
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Branwen23 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:45 AM maybe it's just because i work in a computer field, but it drives me up the wall when clients come in to the service department at my store after having left their computers for repair and say, "i'm here to pick up my modem." or "i left my hard drive here for repair", meaning of course, the computer..... Call it obsessive, but I'm of the opinion taht if you're going to spend a couple thousand dollars on a machine, at least know what it's called..... -Branwen- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: SINSULL Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:47 AM Or I gave 110%! Sends me screaming into the night. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Branwen23 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:52 AM dammit.... that never works for me... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Ebbie Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:02 PM Grab, maybe someone else can tell you why we lost the i but we pronounce it aluminum because of it. To Guest Who Bemoaned Presidential Gaffes: I remember not believing my ears when Reagan told the President of Mexico, Mi 'cazza' est su 'cazza'. I couldn't believe that a person from southern California didn't know the Spanish pronunciation of casa. Still can't believe it. Crazy Eddie, 'pacific' was a deft touch! When I was a young 'un, reading voraciously and already loving words, I tried out many pronunciations on my laughing-uproariously family, i.e. pictureskew, fatigoo, astonn y shed, calfy, a rogant, and on and on... Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Lonesome EJ Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:25 PM Grab...at least in America,it's spelled aluminum,not aluminium.Maybe you guys are pronouncing it wrong(God forbid!). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:46 PM Yeah Leej......you be right dere! So like uh, what's the deal with Lefftenant anyway there Grab?(:<)) Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: M.Ted Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:32 PM "Ne-go-see-ate" for negotiate--the creeping return of the silent "l". first in "Palm", then in "Salmon", and now, and most disturbing, in "walk"(first was "wok", then "Wauk", and now, ever so gradually, people are turning it into "waulk"), and "ignorant", as in, "I hadda get ignorant with him." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:36 PM I was going to take Ebbie's remarks about Ronnie Ray-gun as an opportunity to rag on him a little, but naaah...I'll take the high ground. In the interest of fairness, remember when JFK made clumsy use of the German language - just as I'm about to do now - with that infamous "Ich bin ein Berliner" quote? Pronouncing boldly and confidently, "I am a jelly doughnut!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Micca Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:39 PM The one that always confuses and sounds wrong to me is the American use of the word "momentarily" it seems to mean "back IN a moment"there, whereas in British English it means "back FOR a moment". The other that gets up my snotter is Certificate pronounced" serstifficate" and the word "borrow" used instead of lend, as in " Borrow me your pen" as mentioned above, Guaranteed to get a sarcastic response that one, as in " From whom???". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Micca Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:39 PM The one that always confuses and sounds wrong to me is the American use of the word "momentarily" it seems to mean "back IN a moment"there, whereas in British English it means "back FOR a moment". The other that gets up my snotter is Certificate pronounced" serstifficate" and the word "borrow" used instead of lend, as in " Borrow me your pen" as mentioned above, Guaranteed to get a sarcastic response that one, as in " From whom???". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:54 PM When I first went south to college and heard someone say, "I got my Daddy to carry me over to the game," I had mental images of some 40 year old guy with his kid riding piggyback as he hiked across town to the ballfield. It was then I also realized just how dumb it was to ask, "Can you give me a lift?" Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Penny S. Date: 11 Sep 00 - 02:17 PM acrorst, for across - which accent is this? Penny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny Date: 11 Sep 00 - 02:31 PM This is a revelation for me: I never realized that other people are just as annoyed by this sort of thing as I am. Now I feel better! A little. During a debate, my worthy opponent called me a sway-do intellectual. He lost -- grin! I would not expect folk-singers to be bothered by regionalisms such as n'other or chimbley. These words add color to our songs and they are not invented by song writers, but by ordinary people. However professional news readers, who are earning more money than I will ever see, are committing grammatical misusages I learned to avoid in the sixth grade. I heard a recent news report about the floundering of the Russian submarine Kursk. A national TV news program uses the expression "more on" such and such a subject. "More on education in a moment." (Education for morons?) I did get a chuckle when they announced, "When we return, we'll have more on George W. Bush." Note to world leaders and diplomats: our country is not called the Unite States. There is a "d". Work on it. Here are a few more for the litany: torturous for tortuous, fermiliar for familiar, preventative for preventive, athalete for athlete, mathmatics for mathematics, loan for lend. === Johnny in Oklahoma City "The best way to expose a fool is to let him speak." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST,Kim Date: 11 Sep 00 - 02:48 PM This list is pretty funny, but one I don't get is "chimbley" - for what??? Chimney, like a fireplace, is the only word I can think of, but I've never heard it said like that. For Banjo Johnny - how about: "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt" Kim |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Lonesome EJ Date: 11 Sep 00 - 03:05 PM Have you ever become familiar with a word through reading it,but are unfamiliar with its actual pronunciation? I was reading a news article to my wife and read "He was the scone of a wealthy family." Lynne laughed,then explained it was "Sye-on"(scion).I also pronounce "sieve" to rhyme with Steve. Humbly,LEJ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Pseudolus Date: 11 Sep 00 - 03:11 PM This is an Expecially fun thread. Thread's like this are funner to read then anything elst I read. Frank
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 03:20 PM Leej, I have several words that I say diffently each time to Karen and then swear I never said it the other way. "Graffitti" is one and I have about 4 ways and then swear "I never said that!" Drives her nuts......or it used to.....now she just ignores me. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Melani Date: 11 Sep 00 - 03:31 PM "Artic" for "Arctic" rather annoys me. There is actually a letter missing there. My husband was in a class at the University of Chicago taught by an Indian professor with a heavy accent. He asked the students if they understood the proper use of a "messopotometer". When they all looked blank he began raging, "What? You're all biochemistry majors? The university just spent $10,000 on a brand new messopotometer and you don't even know what it is?" With that clue, the whisper began to go around, "Mass spectrometer!" (I hope I've spelled that right!) I recently heard a radio piece where a linguist commented that the English language is constantly changing, especially in pronunciation--or "pronounciation" as my Canadian friend used to say. She claimed it was another Britishism, but I've never been sure. I assume she meant how you pronunce things. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Steve Latimer Date: 11 Sep 00 - 03:32 PM Geez 'Spaw, I can't see you being ignored by anybody. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: mousethief Date: 11 Sep 00 - 04:54 PM Feb-you-erry. Drives me nuts. On aluminum vs. aluminium: The M-W online says it's from "alumina" -- not sure how the "i" crept into the root for you Brits, but you're not alone.
Spanish: aluminio Isn't the internet a wonderful thing? Still, words do change and mutate, and why should someone be so upset that Americans pronounce things differently than the Brits? 'Slife. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:06 PM "Staunch". when "stanch" is meant. Correctly, "My staunch friend Joe was able to stanch the flow of blood from my wound." As a court reporter I've often heard witnesses use "license" (British licence?) as a plural. "The judge took away my license, and I haven't got them back yet." Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:11 PM Ah, two nations divided by a single language..... LTS Oh, and langwidge - that gets right up my nose.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: guinnesschik Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:24 PM This really is a fun thread. Down here in Texas, and pretty much across the south, "I'm fixin' to" do whatever is common usage. Of course, I never say that... Another "mangualtion" that creeps up my posterior is "continue on." As in, "He continued on working for the plant for many years." Sheesh! I hear newscasters say this sort of thing all the time. It drives me crazy.
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Branwen23 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:33 PM i'm with you on "continue on", guinnesschik.... it's incredibly redundant... drives me nuts. -Branwen- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Lonesome EJ Date: 11 Sep 00 - 05:53 PM and "redundant"...another Britishism that I find funny.When someone is released from employment,he is declared redundant.Sounds very insulting on a personal level,doesn't it? I'm sorry,old chap,you'll simply have to go.You've become quite redundant,you know." "But....I thought that was what I was being paid for!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Sep 00 - 06:12 PM Along with the hairy chest Liz, you must have one helluva' blower too. What a feat! The entire language up your nose. I bet you're real popular on sunny days huh? Wasn't that song written about you? You know, "The Shadow of Your Nose." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: mousethief Date: 11 Sep 00 - 07:02 PM Here's a briticism that I don't get -- our cousins from Old Blighty use "presently" to mean not "at the present time" (which is what it means in America and seems to this peasant to be the etymological meaning) but rather "in a little while." Can anyone explain this?
Click the mouse for my homepage: |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: bflat Date: 11 Sep 00 - 07:59 PM Hey...like...chill...24/7...netspeak ain't gonna make it no better...IMHO...LOL Taken from the new unabriged English Rhetoric Textbook. :) bflat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny Date: 11 Sep 00 - 08:39 PM To be fair to JFK, "Berliner" does mean doughnut, but it also means a person who lives in Berlin. It would have been funnier if he had been in Hamburg. == Johnny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Parson Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:00 PM OK, I'll add a couple (actually 3) more. (Sorry, it's a "Southernism.") How about using the word "Leave" when you mean "Let." As in "Leave us go to town." When you mean, "Let's go to town." Also I am told that the simple apology (in America) "I'm sorry." means just the opposite to the Brits. My Sister-in-law was in London recently & accidently bumped into another lady on the street. So she apologized by saying, "I'm Sorry." But the other lady was offended, thinking that my Sister-in-law was saying it was the Londoner's fault! But hold on with the expression, "I'm fixing to..." Only in the South can we say, "I'm fixing to get ready to go to town." That means I'm not ready, nor am I ready to get ready, but I'll be ready to start getting ready shortly." Makes perfect sense to me. You have to remember that we live by a slower pace down here. You might be interested to know that in Appalachia, any word that has the letter "A" is pronounced with a "Y" in front of the "A." So a "garden" becomes a gyarden. Why not? After all the Brits don't put their car in a garage, but in a garridge. It's just a part of the local dialect, I guess. Randall
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Bill D Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:26 PM well, as long as someone else brought up Briticisms......the Brits can slur words like Cholmondely and Worchestershire into 'Chumly' and 'Wusstersher'...yet, THEY are the ones who say..KILL-o-meter while we in the US seem to say Kil-om-eter...just sounds funny to me... but anything you are not used to sounds funny...I used to hear some kids in Kansas talking about a farmer plowing his 'filled' and I had to grit my teeth. (oh, by the way...I DO fret over how to tell someone politely that what they have posted is mis-said or mis-spelled,)[this does NOT refer to hurried typing errors!] I often see chuckling laughter spelled as "he he he" when it SHOULD be "Hee hee hee" to differentiate it from 3 masculine personal pronouns! And I do believe that way back up there ^ someone said "here, here" to signify agreement...sorry, but it's "hear, hear" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Bill D Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:35 PM In searching, I found this gem: IMMIGRANTS FROM non-English speaking countries used translation-equivalent surnames such as Jaeger, which became "Hunter," and Bauer, "Farmer." English surnames like Cowper became "Cooper," Coke to "Cook." Featherstonehaugh was spelled and pronounced "Fanshaw," Cholmondely as "Chomley," and Colquhoun became "Calhoun." The following limerick mocks these changes:
A young man called Cholmondely Colquhoun |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mangling the English Language From: Mbo Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:55 PM Don't forget: Fotherington = "Fungy". My German coalminer relatives & ancesters are sur-named Richards (as am I), we think it may have originally been "Reichartz" before Ellis Island changes. BTW, saw this on a shirt this morning (worn by classmate Kevin Richards who is NOT related to me!) Kelly's Irish Times Pub, Washington, D.C. : "Give me your poor, your thirsty, your befuddled masses..." |