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BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG*
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: annamill Date: 23 Feb 00 - 02:52 PM Kendall, I hope you know I was joking. I did forget the **BG** and the ;-). Love, annap |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 23 Feb 00 - 03:50 PM Somewhat late, I offer the acronym of a widespread new organization: DAMN. ,br> National Mothers Against Dyslexia.
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: kendall Date: 23 Feb 00 - 03:53 PM I knew...I'm not the dullest knife in the drawer:-)
There once was a randy Chinee |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Molly Malone Date: 23 Feb 00 - 04:03 PM Does anyone know the limerick about the woman who ate the apple that went bad, and the last line is something about "It turned in side her inside into cider"? There once was a Frenchman named Jock, Who's love life kept him up 'round the clock, The maidens revered him, And some of them feared him, Because he had a 19 inch..... Scar, that ran right down the side of his face.;)
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: sophocleese Date: 23 Feb 00 - 04:06 PM Three balls and a purple goatee. Ya gotta finish it kendall. There once were two ladies of Birmingham/ And this is the story concerning'em/ They lifted the frock/ And diddled the cock/ Of the bishop as he was confirming'em
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Troll Date: 23 Feb 00 - 10:17 PM He's baaaack! Said old lady Jenifer Prim, After cycling down cobblestone rim, I'm feeling quite spry, T'was a great thing to try, But I'll never come that way again. troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Barky Date: 24 Feb 00 - 12:26 AM Molly: There once was a lady from Clyde, Who ate so many apples she died! The apples fermented, inside the lamented, and made cider inside 'er inside!
Hope I could help! ~Barky |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Amos Date: 24 Feb 00 - 12:54 AM Dang! Barky beat me to it! That's it! Your IMac is confiscated! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Amos Date: 24 Feb 00 - 12:58 AM Here's one I sure hope she doesn't know yet! There once was a lady quite rude Who walked down the street in the nude! A policeman said "What Am" "Agnificnet Bottam!" And smacked it as hard as he coouuld! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Troll Date: 24 Feb 00 - 07:22 AM There once was a girl from St. Paul, Wore a newspaper dress to a ball. But a sudden flash fire, It burnt her attire, The front page, sports section, and all! Now this is the story of Clyde, Who fell in an outhouse and died. And then theres his brother, Who fell in another, And now they're interred side by side troll who refuses to leave it alone and let it die
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Helen Date: 25 Feb 00 - 09:18 PM Hi again I have been checking in on this thread every day, sometimes twice a day in the lead-up to the mediation session I had yesterday morning with my boss & another manager. The session went fairly well (grimace), but my suspicions of the underhanded dealings of the boss have been well & truly confirmed for me, although he has spent a great deal of energy inventing words to cover his tracks. The female manager approached the mediation session in a much more open & balanced way and I now respect her a lot - I did already for some things, but we haven't had as much contact as we should have so I had not had a chance to get to know her well. We have come to an agreement about what is to happen to me and it will work in the short term, especially because I will be reporting to the manager & not the boss, but now - as seems usual for the last two years, five years, who knows how long? - I am again desperately searching for a job because I will definitely have no more work after the end of June from these guys. So, thanks to all of you for making a mighty contribution towards keeping me sane and relatively balanced over the last few days with this thread, and also to everyone at Mudcat for just being yourselves for as long as I have been here. I can feel my sense of humour doing a U-turn somewhere way out there on the road to nowhere, and heading back home to me. Okay, end of serious transmission. Let me think of another one of my awful jokes to annoy you with. Okay, the only one I can think of is this one: A guy looks out of his window one morning and notices that the garbage truck has been and his big rubbish bin on wheels is there but his next door neighbour's bin is missing. Being a good neighbour he goes and knocks on the door and says "Where's your bin?" and the other guy says "I'se bin away on holidays". The first one says, "No, where's your wheelie-bin?". The neighbour looks worried, looks around a bit, checks up & down the street, and says "I'se really bin in jail, man, but don't you tell anyone!" Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Mark Cohen Date: 25 Feb 00 - 11:13 PM Late, as ever, but here are my contributions. Three couples were seeking admission to the Church. At the end of the course of instruction, the priest said, "Now, as a sign of your devotion to the Church, you must all abstain from marital relations [that's sex, if you must know] for a week. I'll see you all back here next Sunday." A week later, they all gathered again, and the priest said to the first couple, who were somewhat advanced in years, "Were you successful in your devotion?" And they said, "Why, yes, we did manage all right." "Very well, then, welcome to the church," the priest replied. "And you?" he asked the second couple, who were of a middling age. "Well, it was difficult, but this is important to us so we were able to do it." "Congratulations, welcome to the church," he said as they ran off. "And how did you folks do?" he asked the young couple. "Well, father," said the young man, "we were doing all right for a while but when she bent down to pick up a can of tomatoes I just couldn't stop myself." "I'm sorry, my son, but I can't let you into the Church." "Oh, that's all right, Father, we understand," said the young woman. "They won't let us back into Safeway, either." Then there was the ethnic who flunked out of pharmacy school...he couldn't figure out how to get the little bottle into the typewriter. And then there's the world's shortest cowboy song: Out in the West Texas town of El Paso, One little kiss and Florina, goodbye. Good luck, Helen. Illegitimi non carborundum. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Amos Date: 25 Feb 00 - 11:33 PM This ventriloquist needing some practice drives up into the hills onto reservation land and sees a weathered old Indian sitting on his porch, minding his own business, watching his sheep graze. The ventriloquist stops and walks over, saying "Hey, Chief...this your dog?". "Yes, my dog!" "Didja know yer dog could talk?" "Dog does not talk!". So the ventriloquist throws his voice and the dogs says, "My master kicks me and doesn't feed me enough!". The chief is startled, but says nothing.. . "Well chief," says the insensitive ventriloquist, "Is that your horse?" "Yes, my horse!" "Didja know your horse could talk?" "Horse NOT talk!'.. So the ventriloquist throws his voice and the horse says, "My master rides me hard, and puts me up wet...". The chief is startled. Mutters under his breath.. Then the ventriloquist, who is on a roll, says, "Hey, Chief...those your sheep over there?".. The chief stands up and says, "SHEEP LIE!!!!"... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: wysiwyg Date: 26 Feb 00 - 02:53 AM Ummmm, guys? I could swear that today the little grabby hand on the 'puter screen gave me the finger. And the pointy nouse thing pointed at me. (SShhh) I am sharing this in this thread becuse it is my hope that people who are serious enough to open a thread of this title, and post to it, are indeed serious enough to THINK about this and HELP ME! Psst-- Know how I get the most outta my staff? I tell them to give me what I've asked for as quick as they wanna see me go home for the day. Everyone's happy!!!! Hardiman was too tired to log on tonight, so I am stealing his plan!! He's gonna sign on tomorrow to tellya, went to bed all happy about it-- He wants you all to know that although he usually plays with himself, tonight I played with him while he fiddled with me! I warned him I'd use the line myself-- oh well! That's OK, though, because he has another real hoot of a topic to post when he does sign on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 00 - 08:47 AM There was a young lady named Carol Who liked to play stud for apparel Her opponents straight flush Brought a maidenly blush And a hasty trip home in a barrel. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:17 AM A broken down harlot named Tupps Was heard to exclaim in her cups The height of my folly was screwing a Collie But, I got a good price for the pups. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Amos Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:28 AM Kendall: I can just hear you sayin g that last line...I'm cracking up! Thanks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Troll Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:21 AM There once was a girlie anmed Todd Who thought babies all came from God. But it were'nt the Almighty who lifted her nighty, 'T'were Roger the lodger.The Sod! troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Amos Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:23 AM AH, Todd -- what a sweet pie that was...so naive... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:36 PM There once was a man from Racine Who invented a f***ing machine Concave or convex, whichever the sex But, it was a bastard to clean. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: kendall Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:32 PM stop me before I post again |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia Date: 27 Feb 00 - 12:02 AM I once had a little dog named Ben, he had nine arsehloes - nearly ten, he wouldn't eat bread, and he wouldn't eat crust; but he ate apple-pie, 'till he fockin' near bust ! JG _ F.M.E. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Troll Date: 27 Feb 00 - 02:14 AM There was a young fellow from boston Who bought him a very small Austin There was room for his ass And two gallons of gas But his balls hung out and he lost 'em troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Metchosin Date: 27 Feb 00 - 02:46 AM A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl has in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The firefighter says, "Hey, little girl, whatcha doing?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: kendall Date: 27 Feb 00 - 09:33 AM good one Metchosen!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Eric the Viking Date: 27 Feb 00 - 09:44 AM There were two bell ringers in church, one tied his penis to a bell rope-the other told (tolled) him off. Quazimodo was up on the roof of the cathederal with Esmarelda. all of a sudden he was flying through the air towards the ground- his dying words as he landed were "you stupid bitch, when I asked you to toss me off, I didn't mean off the bloody roof"!! -splat!! Eric |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: bob schwarer Date: 27 Feb 00 - 11:55 AM We all know that tampons are spongey And oftentimes get rather grungy But why they have strings Among other things Is so that the crabs can all bungee Baaaaaaaad |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: momnopp Date: 27 Feb 00 - 03:55 PM Peking Take Away
A young Chinese couple got married. On the wedding night, the wife lies naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses.He climbs in bed next to her and tries to be reassuring:
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: MAG (inactive) Date: 27 Feb 00 - 10:11 PM That's the "bulbenik" story in *Joys of Yiddish* -- good luck with the new position you WILL find -- and everything will be on the up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Sorcha Date: 27 Feb 00 - 10:20 PM Time to start Lost it II. Gonna do it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: GUEST Date: 27 Feb 00 - 11:47 PM Click here to go to Part II of this thread |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: GUEST,PETR Date: 28 Feb 00 - 08:58 PM I never lost my virginity, I just mislaid it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Art Thieme Date: 29 Feb 00 - 01:24 PM Kendall, The flavor is somewhere between a Bald Eagle and a Trumpeter Swan... Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: sophocleese Date: 29 Feb 00 - 05:02 PM Petr, mislaying it is one thing but I find searching for it again quite fun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Lena Date: 08 Sep 00 - 08:10 PM refresh |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Bob Bolton Date: 06 Nov 00 - 09:47 PM G'day all, I'll refresh this again because A friend of mine is suffering much the same sort of experience that led Helen to start the thread back ... in February. I hope some of this helps. Regards, Bob Bolton |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: Helen Date: 07 Nov 00 - 03:36 AM Hi Bob, PM me if you want to know about any of the anti-bullying resources I have found. Also, there is a part 2 of this thread with a similar name. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Help: Lost my sense of humour *BG* From: JennieG Date: 08 Nov 00 - 12:51 AM G'day all, I'm the one that Bob Bolton mentioned.....I am leaving my job in mid-December as I can no longer cope. My boss controls his staff (me and one other) by intimidation and bullying. In the meantime I am looking for another job - wish me luck! Cheers JennieG |