BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:44 PM

One curved spatula for moveing the scrotum.

On Cyclendirca for lilting the the latter regions.

One flat one packetaged with the Clother-line-clips - for kink.

Two for speading adible.

One for the waffle jar.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:17 AM

The question has arisen (Please don't ask from where. You don't really want to know. Trust me on this.), "If a spatula is not used as a spatula, is it still a spatula?" For instance, if you keep a spatula in your car to scrape ice from your windshiled, is it still a spatula or is it an ice scraper? If you use a spatula to stir paint, is it still a spatula or is it a paint stirrer? In other words, is spatulaness inherent in the physical item itself, or is it determined by the use to which that item is put?

You may rest assured that I await your comments with bated breath.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:31 AM

Grasshopper,

If you use a knife as a screw driver, will the screw know the difference? If you use an AK 47 to scramble eggs, will the guests laugh nervously? If you use a living Bengal tiger as a placemat, will your guests be happy you have the AK 47?

To clarify my answer Grasshopper, in a word, gimme a hit.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Kaleea
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:32 AM

Ummm, I have bunches of 'em. Not as many as I did have. My neice came over in a bug hurry to borrow a slotted spatula the other day. Sure, I said. She'd bring it right back as soon as she got a new one.
    When she brought it back, I asked her what she had been cooking. "OH, I wasn't cooking anything. I just needed to clean out the cat's litter box!"
   That particular spatula is no longer in my utensil drawer.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:44 AM

ah, yes, the calluses on my fingers are most certainly not from playing guitar. They could be, but ... but ...

I subscribe to the sRS mode of cooking. I've burnt myself pretty good, too. But it's the best way to feel where the food is, as I don't see. My cooking teacher always said that too ... "just don't show anyone what you're doing. Heheheheheh.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:06 AM

I don't burn myself though [knock wood]--I think we all learn what our threshold is as far as dealing with heat, and people who cook a lot are in a good position to refine this sense. I wouldn't pick up anything out of hot oil, for example, or stick my hand in boiling water. But the physics of cooking (in conjunction with the chemistry of cooking) is such that it can be a hands-on process. As Moonglow noted to me a little while ago, it's like knowing if you can reach in (sans implement, in our case, bamboo tongs) and get that slice of toast out of the toaster without burning yourself.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:51 AM

2 long bar-be-que sized metal ones
1 giant rubber one--industrial grade
2 wooden ones
3 regular sized rubber ones
3 narrow rubber ones
2 mini rubber ones
one nylon one
one slotted plastic one..for teflon
one long metal one..frosting spreader
one with scalloped edges...not sure what it is good for..(slotted)
one metal slotted one with bake lite handle--part of my mom's set
but i so far have resuisted the temptation to get one of the
handle-free models--unless you count the stainless steel one
where the spot welded handle broke off and i kept the blade..
because i thought it might be good for cutting brownies..
wow i guess that makes 19

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sooz
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:54 AM

I'm sure that many of the above spatulas are actually pallet knives. We need a better working definition!

Just off to work now where I have dozens of spatulas in the lab. Theres a particularly nice one called a Griffin Trulla which is brilliant for pricking out seedlings.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: An Pluiméir Ceolmhar
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:42 AM

Old-fashioned family here, and it's my wife who owns the kitchen ones. But I have a treasured Polyfilla spatula which I got from my Dad, and I think of him every time I use it for little plastering jobbies.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:06 AM

3 small metal ones we use primarily as serving utensils
2 wide "rubber" spats
1 narrow "rubber" spat
1 wooden icing spat
2 barbecue flipper thingies
2 metal pancake flippers
2 "non stick" pancake flippers
1 pallet knife USED and reserved for use as a spat
2 wierd ones that showed up one day and took up residence in the utensill drawer.

that's 16 - but we could use a few more of the rubber ones.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:23 AM

I have been feeling very guilty about starting this thread. A have come to realize that spatula ownership has the potential for creating even more division among our membership than already exists. It's not enough that we must be pigeon-holed as liberal or conservative, religious or secular, purist or eclectic, accordion player or accordion hater. Now we're either spatula-rich or spatula-poor. Will those who have lots of spatulas begin to shun those who only have a few? Will those who have few spatulas come to think of the spatula-rich as being elitist snobs?

Will someone please delete this thread before it causes Mudcat civil war?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:25 AM

Bonus points:

You're in the middle of mixing banana bread batter. You used your last good (locatable) spatula to scrape the lightly beaten eggs from their bowl into the stand mixer. You reach over and drop it into the sink. Now you have the mixer going and need to scrape down the sides.

Do you:

Pick up the next spatula that is in the pitcher of utensils on the counter, even if it's that big honker that you never use because of its size (and because you use it so rarely you know it's dusty)

Scrounge around for something else that will do the trick

Grab the spatula out of the dishpan where you just dropped it and use it as is because it landed on a clean surface and didn't touch the water yet?

Follow-up:

If it did touch the water, do you wash it before you reuse it?

Is a quick rinse under the faucet sufficient to render it reusable or must you use soapy water (knowing that the water in the dishpan is old and no longer soapy)?


Leave your papers by the door on the way out. Thank you.
SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:28 AM

3 if the rubber scrapers don't count. 5 if they do.
1 metal in the house
1 metal in the camp box
1 BIG hummer for the grill
1 large, 1 small rubber scraper spatulas.
I'm deprived!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:35 AM

Them that has, gets. Them that don't, don't. I'm spatula-rich, and you spatula-poor are just the unwashed. Perhaps if you worked harder you'd have enough spatulae, but obviously you are either lazy slobs or God has it in for you, or both. My life has been filled with the joy that having lots of spatulae can bring because I have lived a good, pure, God-fearing life. So there.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:45 AM

"lots of spatulae"

Plural for spatula spatulae? Or spatulas?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:46 AM

yuck! RAW EGG has touched that spatula! don't use it for ANYTHING ELSE until it has been sanitized in 160 degree (F) water for 10 minutes and or a 1 percent bleach solution for 15 minutes. Or both.   Otherwise you are at high risk for food poisoning.

You should probably dispose of the utensil and buy a fresh one. Beware of raw egg!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Jim Tailor
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:46 AM

Was it Sir Isaac Newton who postulated that, "With a spatula big enough, I could lift the world."?


In answer to SRS...

...is anyone watching?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:51 AM

I must agree with my worthy colleague--and his culpa is mea culpa, too. Foolishly, I felt this thread (frivolous as it is--unlike Rapaire's thread on 1000 Virgins which speaks to a deep and important social issue) and stand by his side in his hour of shame. Please don't admonish Bruce; I am sure it was s spur-of-the-moment thing--a will 'o the wisp, a chimera of a memory of a recollection of a time when this world was a simpler place devoid of nuclear weapons, biochemical substances for use in warfare and beer that goes flat when you leave it in a glass for twelve days, and it was to the aforementioned contextual angst-causing world problems to which he was responding. Like, what's THAT about, huh? The flat beer I mean.

Anyway, please forgive Bruce for this error, and please forgive Bruce for 'jumping right in there' to fart around.

Bruce and I did NOT discuss his public apology before he made it. It was a surprise to me--and him to. Creatures of impulse: that's what humans are. Creatures of habit--that's what, OH! forget it, that's religion.

It's nice to see someone else in deeeeeep dung for a change. Thanks for takin' it for the team Bruce.


TO THE CLONES


Bee-dubya-ell is a real trouble maker. Give him sh#t.

Signed,

Anonymous.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:03 PM

What's the difference between a democratic spatula and a communist spatula?

Like, suppose one spatula was used to flip free-range eggs (the democratic spatula) and the other--the filthy commie one--was used to flip eggs that came from chickens that were raised in captivity. OK would they have sold out to the fascist market economy system that is being manipulated by the Euro and the Yen and the Dollar? If the spatulas go to shrift, will the be absolved of their wrong doing? I ask you. And if the situations were reversed, how WOULD the hens feel about being wannabe virgins? And the spatulas?

Responses, anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:05 PM

Well, since my conscience is bothering me for having started this thread in the first place, I have decided that since I seem to be one of the spatula-rich (or at least the spatula-upper-middle-class), I will donate some of my spatulas (spatulae) to the spatula poor so that we may strive toward spatula-parity. Others of the spatula-rich are encouraged to do the same, though it seems pretty obvious that some, like Rapaire, will horde their spatula surplus and laud it over their less fortunate comrades.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:05 PM

I promised I'd get back..it took some digging thru drawers to be sure I found 'em all....

the answer is enough... 14, I think.


(oh...THAT one?...you've heard about frying an egg on the sidewalk? THAT one is for removing the attempt...)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:11 PM

The recent bout of conscience among the spatula rich must be addressed. I am among the spatula poor, and I say you can keep your spatulas! I don't want any filthy spatulas earned by the backs of the poor! Don't go doing me any favors. I'll earn my own spatulas, I don't need your help or anybody elses. And you can keep them fancy words like spatulae too. I'll use good plain English.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:11 PM

Posting anonymously works MUCH better if you log out first.

Brucie, you're losing it. You're conflating threads again. Either I have to go read that nonsensical virgins thread or you have to explain yourself better.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM

Damn, Bill. What can I say. I'm speechless. I'm in awe. That someone would post a photo of their guitar collection or their pets is normal. That someone would post a photo of their spatula collection is... Well, it's the sort of thing Dali or Warhol would have done. Congratulations!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 02:57 PM

"I will donate some of my spatulas (spatulae) to the spatula poor so that we may strive toward spatula-parity."

Startin' tuh sound like a commie tuh me!


"that nonsensical virgins thread"

What virgins thread?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:10 PM

LOL, Bill. Thanks for that. Good shot by the way.

Listen up y'all. There is the potential for a good black market in spatulas. One of Bill's for example--specifically the metal-handled red-topped one in HIS left hand--would fetch a princely sum. But that ain't gonna happen if the darn commies start givin' the things away. Just a little food for thought.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:29 PM

was this link posted yet?
http://www.pixelscapes.com/spatulacity/aisle1.htm
now, just what IS a pallette knife?
something for painting with?
like a tongue depressor or a popsickle stick?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:39 PM

Ah worked fer my spatulae and Ah ain't a-gonna sit here and let no stinkin' commie nazis come 'round and take 'em! I don' wanna hear none of that pinko socialist "spatula parity" talk, neither. You want a collection of spatulae like mine you kin damned well work fer it like I did and my daddy did and my granddaddy and great-granddaddy did, ya long-haired commie hippie freak!

They'll git my spatulae when they pry 'em from mah cold dead hands!!!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 03:54 PM

open mike,
I am very concerned that you keep a spatula for the purpose listed above e.g. :-

because i thought it might be good for cutting brownies..

it is to say the least a crime to cut brownies or in fact rainbows or girl guides.
Seek Help!

Regards Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:00 PM

Cooks of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your ... spatulas.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:10 PM

is this a spatula I see before me, handle toward my hand, come let me clutch thee.

Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:36 PM

spatulas don't kill - people do

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 04:52 PM

"a spatula, a spatula, my kingdom for a spatula!

Regards Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 05:14 PM

We call them splatulas in this house....

3 French galette/crepe spatulas
1 slotted metal spatula
2 wooden spatulas
1 metal pallette knife, often wrongly called a spatula.


The galette spatulas are like the pallette knife but made of wood. One has a triangular end, the other two have round ends. Great for using on nonstick pans and in the food mixer where the bigger splatulas won't go.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 07:52 PM

A big plastic spatula for nonstick surfaces, a small metal one for bare metal, and a small & a large flexible one for scraping bowls.

When I was little, the flexible rubber ones were something new. When my mother bought her first one, she demonstrated it to me & my brother and wickedly said it meant there would be no more dish licks; so we hid it.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: "St Peter, I'm bored. May I try hell for a while?" :||

||: "You're there."                                     :||

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 08:12 PM

Okay, gang. This thread now has 85+ posts. It is time for us to begin thinking of evasive maneuvers to keep Flaminghole Red and His Band of Bungling Bungholes from sneaking in and capturing the 100th post.

As evidenced from his photo, Bill D has girded himself with spatulae and has taken a "ready to repel obnoxious shitbirds" stance. We could probably all learn a lot from Bill's example.

So, grab up your spatulas and post to this thread! We've all put a lot of work into making this thread the work of art that it is. Do not give Phlegmenco Ed an opportunity to make it just another steppingstone in his insane drive to make the 100th post to every Mudcat thread.

Thanks for your support.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:05 PM

"Thanks for your support."

That's the official slogan of National Hernia Week.

Startin' tuh git real testy here, IMO. All this talk of arming ourselves with spatulas and that there commie talk from Teresa an' Skipy quoting Bill thuh Bard. Rapaire has HIS heels dug in. I think he's serious. Don't mess with him. Yep, real testy.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Tweed
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:38 PM

BeeDubya, you fucking idiot!!

Do you not see what you have done? 80-some posts to this dumbass spatula thread in about a day...that's gonna probably fill Max's servers in less than a year and we'll have to buy and sell more crap on the auction or do another CD collection to buy a new one. I can't believe you sometimes....and I have only one black plastic one that I bought at the local Publix. It was hanging in the cookware section and I knew I had to possess it. It will flip eggs, burgers, stir spaghetti sauce and if I had a cat I could strain cat shit with it as well.

Spatula....ahhh...I love it so....... so versatile. I wonder what the origins of the word could be, often! I wonder about it right now. Why spatula? Why?????

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:53 PM

why? You had only to ask! scroll down (this is the WWW! Everything of importance is here!)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:03 PM

To answer your question, Tweed, "spatula" is from the late Latin word for "spoon". It and "spade" share common origin. But there's no suit of playing cards called "spatulas". Yet...

Aw, man, whatta brainstorm! We can jack summa those sexy pictures of spatulas that Brucie linked to and make "Spatula Playing Cards"! We could sell 'em for $3.79 a deck and give all the money to Max so he can buy new hardware 'cause this idiot thread's gonna use up all his resources.

God! Sometimes I amaze even my own humble self.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:29 PM

Arise you prisoners of starvation
Arise, you wretched of the earth.
For chefs may thunder comdemnation
If spatulas prove their worth.
No more wooden spoons shall bind us.
Arise you slaves, no more enthrall!
Cooking shall rise on new foundations
We have been naught, we shall be all!
'Tis the final conflict
Let each stand in his place.
The spatula cooking class
Shall put spoons in their place!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:05 AM

Someone should put a spatula in the Mudcat auction.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:32 AM

And I almost bought another one today when the kids had me take them to the "Dollar Tree" to do some of their shopping. There they were, hanging in all of their black plastic and chrome-plated glory. A buck each. Pancake turners. Long handles with "triangle" shaped heads, like some described above. And slatted spatulas--lots!

If you ever decide to start a thread about ladels, I have a lot of those too. And I could also contribute some banter regarding various kitchen funnels, food graters, wine openers, and measuring cups. Much of this gadgetry I inherited, so it still has a slightly foreign feel in my kitchen. Oh--and my father was the KING of the Rubbermaid products, so if you want to look at plastic airtight containers, I'm your correspondent! (It wasn't enough to have the store-bought containers as containers, he also kept a lot of the plastic food containers, like yogurt and margarine tubs, because he used to buy a lot of fresh fruit every summer and freeze it in a couple of large freezers out in his shed).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:41 AM

I've done my bit, I've bulked this closer to the triple digit transition. Now you west coasters'll have to take it over. I'm off to bed.

Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:47 AM

Yeah, I was thinking about starting a ladle thread. Or maybe a "Does anybody actually use an eggbeater anymore?" thread. Or "Have you ever owned a potato peeler that worked worth a damn?" But I'm sorta leery of starting derivative threads anymore 'cause there are certain people around here that'll call ya "stoopid" and "dumbass" if ya do.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:51 AM

Flamingo Fred...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:51 AM

will never make...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:52 AM

the 100th post...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:52 AM

to this thread...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 12:53 AM

Har!