Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 17 Jun 01 - 09:59 AM Alrightey, Challenge!rs, here we go again -- We put on our red Keds and blue overalls for the last Challenge!; but, for this one, we're scrubbing up, tying on green gowns, slipping on the paper booties, and sticking a can of Skoll in our jeans pockets . . . He's A Long, Tall Surgeon -- (Indianapolis, IN) A spokesperson for the MidWest Medical Center announced today that the hospital would remove all spittoons from its surgical intensive care unit, following complaints by patients. "This has all been a colossal misunderstanding, and we want to put it behind us", said hospital spokesman Henry O'Toole. According to O'Toole, the 19th century-style saliva receptacles had been placed in the intensive care unit by Dr. Nick Testa, a staff surgeon. Anonymous sources within the hospital described Dr. Testa's reputation as a surgical "cowboy", a part he had increasingly tried to play to the maximum. "First people were just referring to him as a 'cowboy' because he basically took anyone to the OR, no matter what their problem was", said the source. "Then about five years ago, he started wearing hand-tooled cowboy boots...OK, lots of surgeons do that." Apparently several staff were upset when Dr. Testa tried last month to operate on a patient wearing a Lone Ranger style mask, after earlier wearing a bandana pulled up over his handlebar moustache, instead of a standard surgical mask. "He was just yelling: 'This IS my mask, this IS my mask', when they tried to get him out of the OR", according to Sally Stevens, a MidWestern scrub nurse. Many staff members regarded as amusing Testa's practice of carrying his stethoscope in a holster, drawing it with a rapid motion when he intended to examine a patient. However, when Testa brought three large brass spittoons into the surgical intensive care unit, patients and their families began to complain. Testa's habit of chewing tobacco and spitting towards the spittoons reportedly became increasingly disruptive to intensive care unit staff, who frequently had to change intravenous lines and dressings when Testa missed his mark. According to O'Toole, Dr. Testa is currently on vacation in Montana, and so is unavailable for comment. Go For It, Challenge!rs!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: wysiwyg Date: 17 Jun 01 - 10:47 AM Hardiman will be especially interested in the idea of setting up spittoons in various locations.... thanks for the tip! Duh, SPITTOONS! Why, that oughtta make things MUCH better around the house, too! ~S~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 17 Jun 01 - 12:23 PM Hank Wangford should definitely hear of this one...
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Dharmabum Date: 17 Jun 01 - 01:11 PM MAMAS DON'T LET YOUR COWBOYS GROW UP TO BE SURGEONS
I went to the O.R.to have them do a procedure,
Instead of a gown, he wore a vest with a tin star,
(chorus)
He walked in the O.R his spurs was jingle & janglin,
The air had filled up with the odor of equine distinction,
(chorus) DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Amos Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:27 PM LOL!! Good shew DB, good shew!! -- only an hour from post to first finish!! Purdy good!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:44 PM tough act to follow, too! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:44 PM Yee-haw, DB!! A fantastic first entry for this one ;-) Here's your S.B.L.O.B. for:
Instead of a gown, he wore a vest with a tin star, Way to go! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:49 PM Sorry to be a spoilsport, but somehow this story didn't strike me as having too much credibility. I let my fingers do the walking There are some Testas in the Indianapolis alphabetical phone book, but no Nick or Nicholas. All right, he might have an unlisted number. The Yellow Section under Physicians and Surgeons, MD & DO, shows no Testas. There _IS_ a Midwest Medical Center, but it is an occupational health type facility, and as such I wonder if they are too likely to have an intensive care facility. Maybe. But that Lone Ranger mask sounds phoney to me. The whole thing sounds like too much of "a good story".
The old curmudeon, Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 17 Jun 01 - 02:50 PM oh heck, Dave, who cares if it's true if we can get some good songs out of it? or even some funny ones? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 17 Jun 01 - 03:08 PM Dear DaveO and all my darlin' Challenge!rs -- I swear on all things green that this is a legitimate news story that I found on a legitimate news service . . . really . . . -- Áine (now quit laughing, dang it . . . no, really, really, I did , , , ;-)) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,sorry Monty Python Date: 17 Jun 01 - 05:42 PM I never wanted to do this job in the first place! I... I wanted to be... A Surgeon (piano vamp) Running from bed to bed! As we go on our morning rounds in the hospitals of Indianna. With the staff nurse by my side. The Gallstone, The Traciotemy, The Mighty Heart Transplant, The Hangnail and The Sex change operation. We'd sing! Sing! SING! Oh I'm a Surgeon and I'm ok. I work all night and I work all day Chorus: He's a Surgeon and He's ok. He works all night and he works all day I prep patients, I eat my lunch and I do surgery, I wear's my boots while cutting, and Quick draw when you shout three. He preps patients, He eat his lunch and he does surgery, He wear's his boots while cutting, and Quick draws when you shout three Chorus: He's a Surgeon and He's ok. He works all night and he works all day I prep patients, I struts me stuff, I like to play quick draw, I put on cowboy clothing, and scrub for surgery. He preps patients, He struts his stuff, He likes to play quick draw, He put on cowboy clothing, and scrubs for surgery.? Chorus: He's a Surgeon and He's ok. He works all night and he works all day I prep patients, I wear a mask, bandanna and a gun, I spit when I am cutting just like my dear papa. He preps patients, He wears a mask, bandanna and a gun. He spits when he is cutting?? Whats this spit while cutting Oh My and i thought you were just gung ho, Cowboy!!
Chorus line breaks fixed by mudelf ;-) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 17 Jun 01 - 06:22 PM Dear Aine, if you tell me it's legit, it's legit!!! Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 17 Jun 01 - 11:08 PM Here's the humble offering of TGG -- no sniggering now, I worked really hard on this ;-) (oh, go ahead . . . ) -- One point of clarification for you younger 'Catters, however; the 'bright white Maria' (pronouned 'mah-rye-uh') is a not-so-veiled reference to the 'Black Maria', which was a term that was used (at least here in Texas) for the 'paddy wagon' or the vehicle in which one was hauled off the to hoosgow (read 'jail'). I hope all of you like this rare venture of mine into the realms of genius in which my dear Challenge!rs rule completely . . .
Whoopee Tie Him Up -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 01 - 12:14 AM LOL!!! What imagery!!! I'm ROTFLMAO!!! You are WHAN HOOOOT GG! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: JenEllen Date: 18 Jun 01 - 01:47 AM Well done all! Can't tell you how much this story gave me a laugh. Okay, humble contribution.....
Goodbye Spitoon (Goodbye Old Paint) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Dharmabum Date: 18 Jun 01 - 07:42 AM Guest,Aine,Jen,Wunnerful,Wunnerful!!!!!!!!!! DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,Montana Monkey Date: 18 Jun 01 - 11:42 AM Doc's Holliday
As I went in Montana one morning line breaks added by mudelf ;-) Copyright 2001 Rob Dale all rights reserved |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,Montana Monkey Date: 18 Jun 01 - 11:48 AM Doc's Holliday As I went in Montana one morning A handsome young doctor I happened to spy With new cowboy boots and a plug of tobacco He looked dejected and I asked him why? Once in the O.R. I chewed on my Red Man Once in the O.R. I used my spittoon But they made me stop chewing and now I'm Boo-Hooing My spit is not welcome in the O. Room They thought it was grating and so irritating They thought it was bad when He spit on the floor He was operating but the mess they were hating The mess they were hating so they showed him the door So work your gums slowly; Your breath is so dirty And play Wyatt Earp while you open my spleen It shouldn't be too hard To keep me from the grave yard Watch where you spit if you know what I mean Copyright 2001 Rob Dale all rights reserved |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 18 Jun 01 - 03:42 PM Great stuff so far, Challenge!rs!! Here are your Silver B.L.O.B.s -- To JenEllen for:
Nobody liked it in exams To Montana Monkey for:
So work your gums slowly Your breath is so dirty And to our apologetic GUEST for:
He preps patients, Anyone else have a good one that you haven't shared with us yet??? -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: mousethief Date: 18 Jun 01 - 04:02 PM Big, Bad Doc tune: Big, Bad John He was six-foot-four, and strode into OR With a wad of Copenhagen and a three-inch scar With sh*t on his boots and his hair black with tar, That's Doc. (Big Doc, big Doc, big bad Doc) He wore silver scalpels on his snake-boot heels And if he showered more, he'd have sex appeal And whenever he spoke, it wasn't too genteel That's Doc. (etc.) No ordinary ordinary showed him the ropes He wore leather holsters for his stethoscopes And he growled, "Ye varmints!" at the working dopes That's Doc. Now the nurses didn't mind this Yosemite Sam Till he tried to install his spitoon can In the OR next to where the oxygen stands That Doc. One day in OR they took him to task He wouldn't operate without his "Lone Ranger" mask, A bandana 'round his neck, and a hip-pocket flask, That's Doc. (ritardando) Now he's out on leave underneath the Big Sky That snuff-chewin' surgeon who's none-too-shy And the nursing staff say, "That's one weird, weird guy." That's Doc. (a tempo) Big Doc, Big Doc, Big bad Doc. ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: mousethief Date: 18 Jun 01 - 04:28 PM Aine, change the spelling of the first "ordinary" before you put it in the songbook, s'il vous plait!
Thanks, |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 18 Jun 01 - 04:38 PM Áine - Here goes nothin'... I'm aiming for that All-in-One Award, and I do mean all, after reviewing the Song Challenge!s from the Past page (are parts 17 and 35 deleted on purpose?). Pronunciation guide: virtual=two syllables ("vur--chool" or "vur-tyool" or "vurch-wull") CA="see-ay" I'm using the tune found in DT, though I had thought there was another syllable in the last line before the chorus. The Song Challenge!s are numbered for easy reference but the numbers are not to be sung. Okay; I'm ready now... SONG CHALLENGE!S GONE BY (Tune: Ghost Riders in the Sky) 1) A man who's caught red-butted 2) An inebriating treat 3) A bee that's tagged for tracking 4) And a wedding "While-U-Meet" 5) WiseWimmin, Munchkin birth and death 6) A virtual cattle buy 7) Some magic'lly delicious shapes 8) Ghost chickens in the sky. Rumors so low, sources so high Song Challenge!s gone by 9) A tribute to the taste buds 10) Ferret-busts out in CA 11) A fine tradition kept and thrown 12) The moose's right-of-way 13) A one-hundred-percent-off sale 14) A sticky-fingered plight 15) The Lent that's banned in Boston now 16) The dull men's dull website. They made us laugh till we would cry Song Challenge!s gone by 17) Hairdressers who, um, know for sure 18) A hard drive that's possessed 19) Eight days without a Twinkie 20) Ranking songbirds, worst to best 21) A sound effect for ev'ry fib 22) A cock who'd not be lunch 23) Two blossoming libido-slaves 24) An Easter Rabbit-punch. Stooping so low, rising so high Song Challenge!s gone by 25) The Undergarden Railroad gnomes 26) Senility with guns 27) Wild Turkey in the swimmin' hole 28) A belch with rising suns 29) A raccoon's three-week drinking binge 30) A Kudu Chip Spit Fair 31) The tale of Johnny-in-a-spot 32) Authentic mermaid wear. "Make up a tale; tell us no lie" Song Challenge!s gone by 33) Somebody dumped somebody's ashes 34) Some guys just can't win 35) Some foxes can't take pressure 36) Some think chain-gang dates are "in" 37) Old Nessie's got some rivals 38) Kindly Shorty left 'em cold 39) They offer cream and rubber here 40) And tons of bread on "hold". "Who, what and where? When, how and why?" Song Challenge!s gone by 41) Are nipples Braille for blind men? 42) Of which creatures shall we write? 43) Does feng-shui work with coffins? 44) Was the pig's a round-trip flight? 45) Is there a brain in Arkansas? 46) ...and in Sri Lanka, too? 47) Will that ice ceiling ever melt? 48) Did Moscow have a loo? "Sing your song low, warble it high" Song Challenge!s gone by 49) A cow without a parachute 50) A flushing Golden Throne 51) Revenge for all the lamb chops 52) And the Ooze of the Unknown 53) A chocoholic monkey 54) And a quest for Cheerios 55) A doctor's spitting image, too... ...and on the Challenge! goes. There will be more — they'll never die — Song Challenge!s gone by Song Challenge!s gone by I read just a few of the award-winning songs (enough to find Challenge! part 17!) and almost nothing from the past Song Challenge! threads (I was trying to be original and not plagiarize), so I'm sorry if I've unintentionally repeated someone else's pun. I've heard "Ghost Chickens" performed, so I did borrow that pun. My apologies to mousethief; I started this just before (s)he submitted the Cheerios parody of "Ghost Riders". I guess that makes us the googolth and googol-first to skewer the poor song. SharonA
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: mousethief Date: 18 Jun 01 - 04:41 PM "He"; actually I didn't do a Cheerios parody of Ghost Riders; I just thought about it. Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 18 Jun 01 - 05:24 PM Mr. (!) mousethief: Oh, right, that was Dharmabum's song, followed by your comment. I was working from faulty memory; I've been having log-on and error problems all day (hurricane leftovers, I suppose) so I wasn't able to check the source. When the #!&% computer finally linked to Mudcat, I sent the song while I could. My apologies to you both! i AM the weakest link good-bye! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: mousethief Date: 18 Jun 01 - 05:46 PM Now Sharon, if you keep beating yourself up, you'll take all the fun out of us doing it! Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Dharmabum Date: 18 Jun 01 - 06:01 PM No apollogies necessary Sharon. Great job on the all fer one! Welcome! DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Trapper Date: 18 Jun 01 - 06:21 PM Here's my entry... This one has "Blues" in the title, does that make it a Blues song??? - Al
DOCTOR NICK, CODE BLUE
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Trapper Date: 18 Jun 01 - 06:23 PM Here's my entry... This one has "Blues" in the title, does that make it a Blues song??? - Al
DOCTOR NICK, CODE BLUE
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Trapper Date: 18 Jun 01 - 06:28 PM Oops! Sorry for the double post... maybe some nice joe clone will get rid of one of them for me... - Al |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 01 - 08:46 PM Rock By the Old Rio Grande
There is a young Doctor, he dreams of the range An' as the day fades though he's working his scalpel Givin' tunes out instead of them pills. He sings, Goodnight, you old gunslingers
As he's signing prescriptions with half his attention, He sings -- Goodnight, you old gunslingers
A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Sorcha Date: 18 Jun 01 - 09:06 PM OMIGAWD!!!ROFLMAO, PRIME PWO! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 01 - 10:09 PM Anyone know what PWO stands for? Puzzled, A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 19 Jun 01 - 08:59 AM Not me. I can't figure out ROFLMAO, either. BTW, what does LOL stand for? Anyway, Amos, that was BUTful (bee-yoo-tee-ful)!! Shar PS - Trapper, I love the sick blues, too! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Clifton53 Date: 19 Jun 01 - 09:13 AM CUSPIADOR Tune is from an opera I think, Carmen? I know less about opera than I do about songwriting.
I am a surgeon a man of high degree
Look at my snakeskin boots, see how they shine
They tried to stop me, made me jump and shout
All of the whitecoats said I was a loon Clifton
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:15 AM Sorcha was kind enough to elucidate: "Pants wetting opporutnity, dear.". Thus PWO. LOL is laughing out loud, and ROTFLMAO is "Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off". If you put "Internet Abbreviations" into a search engine such as that at Google.com, you will find several sites that collect these cyberspace chat acronyms so you can sound like a real chat weenie if you wish!!! :>) A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:17 AM Clifton, all is forgiven. I love it!!! I can just see some barrel chested burley character belting it out at the Met, projecting all the way to the balcones and beyond: CUspia--a--aa--a--DOOOOOOORE!!!!!. LOL! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:18 AM Toreador song, yes? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Clifton53 Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:22 AM Glad you liked it Amos, always looking for that elusive laugh. And yes MMario, Tor-ee-a dooooorrrrrrr!!! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: mousethief Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:22 AM Si. When I was a wee bairn, one of the things my mother used to sing to me was a song to the tune of the Toreador Song, which went something like this:
Toreador, don't spit on the floor Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 19 Jun 01 - 12:19 PM Well, I must say I am impressed at the quality of entries this time around! I never thought that we'd reach the operatic heights! Brilliant and brilliant . . . So, without further ado or to-do (or kudu, come to think of it), here are the Silver B.L.O.B.s for this last batch of cuspadorial delights: To mousethief for:
No ordinary ordinary showed him the ropes To SharonA for:
The Undergarden Railroad gnomes To Trapper for:
I'm in-sane, I'm in-sane, narcissistic it seems To Amos for:
As he's signing prescriptions with half his attention, And to Clifton53 for (the delightful!):
Look at my snakeskin boots, see how they shine Well done, Challenge!rs!! -- Áine
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 19 Jun 01 - 12:58 PM Thanks, Áine! ...but no one responded to my query about parts 17 and 35 of the Song Challenge! Are they THAT politically incorrect? (If so, a simple "yes" will do, and I'll shut up about it.) I had the impression that there wasn't a whole lot that was tabu at Mudcat, aside from flaming, trolling and leaving in a huff. SharonA |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: mousethief Date: 19 Jun 01 - 01:01 PM We just don't have memories that stretch back that far, Sharon! What exactly was your question? Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: Áine Date: 19 Jun 01 - 01:22 PM Sorry, SharonA -- I was just so excited about all the wonderful Challenge! songs that I forgot to answer your question . . . The only reason that Parts 17 and 35 are missing is that the Keeper of the Book must have slipped a couple a brain synapses . . . or had a couple of her occassional 'BFE's (brain flatulence episode) . . . or she stood too close to a magnet . . . Thanks for pointing out the missing bits! And rest assured that all will be made whole very soon ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 19 Jun 01 - 01:26 PM I had the impression that there wasn't a whole lot that was tabu at Mudcat, aside from flaming, trolling and leaving in a huff. By george, she's got it! I think she's got it! of course, there is also inhaling while playing Cleigh...but only 'spaw is in danger of that. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 19 Jun 01 - 01:35 PM But I asked it only yesterday afternoon, in the "preamble" to my all-in-one song! Guess it got lost in the shuffle. The question is: When I reviewed the Song Challenges! from the Past page, i noticed that parts 17 and 35 are missing from the list. I wondered whether the subjects of those two Challenge!s (the naughty hair salon and the careless taxidermist) were so inflammatory that they were deleted deliberately. Obviously they're not completely wiped off the map, or I wouldn't have found them at all, but I had to do a bit of spelunking through old threads and past Challenge! winners to uncover them. So what gives? SharonA |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 19 Jun 01 - 01:42 PM I suspect real life intruded. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 19 Jun 01 - 01:49 PM Man, you guys are fast (answering my question before I'd sent the clarification)!!! Thanks; I'm relieved to find that the Challenge!s weren't censored! Whew!!! Shar |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 19 Jun 01 - 02:07 PM why would we surrond the song challanges with clouds of incense? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: MMario Date: 19 Jun 01 - 02:39 PM ps - sharon - thank you for your comments on the other thread regarding venom, etc. greatly appreciated. turns out guest may have some good reasons - but it's pretty dang hard to sympathize with the completely anonymous. thank you also for being consistent in your postings as a guest. it's nice to be able to hang some kind of identifier on a post. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 55 From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 19 Jun 01 - 02:46 PM Thanks, MMario. I'm sorry that I was testy last week about having to look up line break info for myself like the other adults do. BTW, I printed out the Newcomer's Guide last Friday and read it over the weekend, so THAT won't happen again! SharA |
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