BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 08:28 PM

Feet up. Big sigh! Tummy full. Lobsters and steaks and salads and champagne and large dogs all gone...except for Seamus who decided to have a pajama party with Freddie.
Kendall went home to watch Law & Order. Tami and Jason went home to sleep. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and will sit for a few minutes before nodding off.

Bente called at the exact moment that the lobster tray hit the table. I mumbled an un- Holiday grreting and answered the phone. All shouted Merry Christmas and we hung up. Sorry Bente. Never get between a Mainer and his lobsta.

Merry Christmas all. Many thanks for the roof over my head, the food on my table and the good friends to share it.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: ranger1
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 08:54 PM

Just popping in after wrapping (some) prezzies for tomorrow AM. Sleep, Mary? What is this sleep thing of which you speak? And barkeep, I'll have a dram of Laphroaig, neat, thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 09:08 PM

No, I don't think we need any more chardonay this evening, or we'll run the risk of bumping our heads on the floor joists above. Why did they design this tavern with such a low ceiling? Or is the ceiling slowly sinking? I don't think I'm getting any taller. This is very puzzling. Maybe I better lie down a while and meditate, but not shut my eyes!

Merry Christmas, Ramadan, Hannaka, kwanzaa, and whatever!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 09:09 PM

OK, set em up, bartender. This is on Berts tab, OK? I've had it, just fookin' HAD it with Holidays! What in all goodness is HOLIDAYS all about anyway?

I need a few shots of the Good Stuff. I've shopped, I've wrapped, I've prepped nibbles, I've cooked...and what do I get outta this deal?

So far, not a damn thing. Screw the wine, set me up with some Yukon Jack shots.

Piss on em all, I say. They can't be bothered to be here, I can't be bothered to be 'here' either. I may sleep all day tomorrow. Well, I'll get up to let the dogs inoutinoutinoutinout.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Tinker
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 12:35 AM

Ahhh, last present is wrapped and under the tree.... Something warm and smooth please...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Micca
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 05:04 AM

Tinker. Wellllll Helllooooo There, (is that warm and Smooth enough?)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Tinker
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 09:34 AM

And now all the lovely wrappings are tattered and torn. The children are scattered across the house. And I think I'm going to get a nap...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Phot
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 11:55 AM

Fiona is napping, the cats are playing merry hell with the left over wrapping paper and ribbon. I think a lage glass of wine is needed! Drinks on me guys!

Wassail!! Chris

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: lady penelope
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 01:51 PM

Ah, have spent the day dossing... er I mean relaxing with Parker, bacon sarnie for breakfast, smoked salmon, bruscetta, rockett salad, cheese and cava for lunch and shortly we'll be tucking into roast duck and rice for din dins....

'Ere I got a bottle of a limited edition Glenmorangie for crimbo. It's called Lasanta! Apparently it's gaelic for "Warm & Passionate..."

TTFN

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 04:22 PM

Here are some game sausage samples if anyone wants to try them. Perhaps a strong German beer or a robust and complex red wine would be good accompaniment. Pheasant, duck, antelope, bison, boar, elk, caribou, and something else--enjoy!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 04:34 PM

My daughter might have a a strep throat, so I couldn't go eat dinner where I was supposed to. I'm taking meds that forbid me to have alchohol. Bring me a cuppa and a dinner menu. Judas' Carryout might be open for Easter, but it's closed for Christmas, so I'll try the First Supper Special here this time out.

If he clears off the crust from his station, I'll eat with my good friend The Giant Squid--No, wait! It looks like his date, some sort of she-cephalopod, with whom he's looking to get all warm and cuttly just emerged from the Ladies Room.. Be careful, my friend, she may not be as naughty-less as she looks. Hey! He's presented her with one of the original 45rpm single versions of the Beatle's "Help!" with the original inscription "from the upcoming Motion Picture "Eight Arms To Hold You"! What poor sucker did he get to let loose of one of those?........

Hmmmmm......So where shall I sit, then?.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 04:48 PM

In the dog house, I would imagine, after that string of awful puns!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 04:48 PM

"Milk! Just milk?"....

"That WAS the First Supper!", the waitress retorts. "Been that way since Mother Mary first said, 'Let It Be!' "!.

"A lot to pay for a serving of milk........", mutters Severn, alone in a booth waiting to see who'll show up....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 05:43 PM

Ingrates! I serve lobster and filet mignon and put out a pound of chocolates. And what do they leave me?????? A Roman Nougat and two Molasses Chews! What the hell is aRoman Nougat?

JD om de wocks and mhurrthy up!
SINS, grumbling with a mouth full of Molasses Chew

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 08:05 AM

Roast beef dinner taken to Mother in Law's house, cooked, eaten and washed up... sitting here waiting for traffic to clear so we can go back for Part 3 - the Return of the Kin.

I'm driving later so I'll just have a fizzy grape juice please. AAAAAaaaahhhhhhhhhh... now all I need is a large hairy thing to rest my feet on.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 10:36 AM

Here's a bag of leftover TimTams. The rest were all greedily consumed but the gift recipients all turned a ghastly green and yeller, and imploded. Strange, that never happened before. Any takers?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 10:37 AM

And what to her wondering eyes should appear
But a dozen cats, warm and fuzzy and near
To her cold tired tootsies
To raise them up high
With a mew and a purr and a satisfied sigh.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escapade
From: Severn
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 12:06 PM

Everybody still stealing furtive glances at Giant Squid's girlfriend.....

"I can't seem to recall ever seeing her ever go INTO the Ladies' Room.", murmurs Liz, who'd know such things.....

"Well, 'eight armed is forewarned' (or however that goes)", whispers Severn.....

"I think he said she was a "CPA" or something", said Charley in a low tone.

Meanwhile, GS gazes dreamily upon a set of limbs that seems to go on forever.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 12:29 PM

HMMMMMMM Don't squids have ten arms? She's certainly not an octopus...What the hell is that??????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 12:33 PM

Wait a minute! The Hookah! The Hookah! It's the caterpiller from Wonderland. How did that get in here? Big though, isn't he (Sorry Suid, it is a "He). How big a butterfly will emerge once he starts spinning a coc..................

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: MMario
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 12:52 PM

I thought it was the result of last year's date between the Squid and that set of bagpipes he wandered out the door with.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 01:05 PM

Is that why he's wearing a bagwig?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: gnu
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 01:58 PM

I say, Severn, good man, join me in a cup of tea, and leave the strong drink for the rest. Someone will have to carry them out and drive them home. Many hands make light work.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 08:39 PM

Sinsull-

What's a tentacle or two, more or less, between friends?

C'me 'ere, Squid, pull up some stools and 'ave a drink on the house. What will it be, absolute alcohol or something more wimpy?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 09:13 PM

Now that is just plain nasty! Whose stools did he just pull out of the Ladies??? Damn it's the caterpiller's.
I am out of here!
Someone else man the magic wand. And for heaven's sake, wash your hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 10:36 PM

According to Richard Ellis' "The Search For The Giant Squid":


"The cuttlefishes and squids have two additional tentacles they can shoot out to capture prey....which classifies them as decapods."

Ellis may be no Ick-Theologian, but on the basis of this book and "Men And Whales", I'll take his word on sea creatures for gospel.
And he's written for AUDUBON, so he's familliar with the German Highway System, as well.....

And the term "Squids" IS acceptable for describing a grouping of species. In everyday language and usages,"Squid" is used for
both singular and plural.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 10:51 PM

How do we work this, gnu? I hitch them to the wagon and you drive them home, or the other way round? It seems we're both on the wagon tonight......

I'll be the designated deriver if need be......

And are you saying The Giant Squid picked up some male hookah not named John Lee? Or that he's a caterpillar attracter? And that supposed "bagwig" is really a cocoon-skin cap?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 03:57 AM

No need now, Severn. You just use SINS magic wand to clean them up and they can fend for themselves, as long as they don't get the wagon bogged down.

Where is my tea bag? SINS musta waved that wand again. I could have gotten at least another cup out of that tea bag.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: GUEST,RaVen Kittie
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 05:30 AM

Don't you come near me with that wand matey.. I'll yak in your cup if you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday wander
From: Severn
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 07:46 AM

How good is that wand, gnu? Could it turn an uppity back cat with a 'tude into, say, a black lab retriver? NO, gnu! Not an African American NIH intern gofer in a white lab smock! There you go! A Labrador dog! Now, GO FETCH, RaVen!.......

Uh, oh!.....Hi, Geoff The Duck (complete with napkin and utensils in his hand! You're probably wondering how you got here.....Errrrrr.......How's Jane and the kids?......How WAS Christmas dinner?......

(Bad dog, Bad dog!)

RaVen smirks. Never seen a Lab smirk before....

(Is there an instruction book with that thing, gnu?)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 07:53 AM

Great. How am I going to explain a flippin' DOG to Manitas now?!

And will you stop it doing that to the table leg please?.... Oh ye Gods and little fishbits.

Give me that wand right now!!!

*POOF*...












Oh dear.
















Err.....

















Nurse, the screens and a mop please!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:11 AM

I dunno. It's SINS' wand. All I want is a cup of tea.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:15 AM

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, someone has struck up a band (No, not Leadfingers & Maryrrf, a/k/a SilverSmith, who are supposed to be playing here, but some other one I don't recognize), and the lovely Alice and the Giant Caterpillar are dancing a mad tango.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:15 AM

You got tea... but a bit more than a cup, why do you think I need the mop?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:17 AM

Never ask a sorcerer's apprentice to bring you tea refills.........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Micca
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:23 AM

thats the first time I've seen a 50 gallon(uk)tea cup!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:49 AM

Terry is on a jet plane over the North Atlantic at the moment. Mary is probably going nuts. Liz has a netness fetish and prefers a mop to a wand. And, yes, Micca, that's the reson I keep running out of tea... cup's too small.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Severn
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:14 AM

How can gnu be a tea-totaller and still be in his cups?

Say, who IS that band?

The special tango arrangement of "Larva, Come Back To Me" plays on and the dancing gets ever more intricate.

QUICK! They're dancing unawares towards the wand, which somebody had carelessly left on the floor! Somebody save it!

Good! RaVen scooped it up and is carrying it between the teeth. Now bring it over here.....

A shake of the head and a "MY Turn!" look in the eye tells me that that's not going to happen any time soon.......


UHHHHHHHHH.........OH!.........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 10:12 AM

Well, he still has that poodle tail to return to normal...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 11:53 AM

Sage slips out the south door to hang out on the Puerto Rican beach, Dukas-ing for cover. It's getting a little too Goethe-ish in here for the moment.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:52 PM

The highwayman simply sips his schooner of sewer sludge (with a wedge of lime) and takes it all in, wondering if it would be worthwhile to attempt to play upon his last loot, a lute. It would, he reflects, sound pretty good if he could only tune it to match the crotales , the carnyx, and the and the crwth -- all of which seem to be played in the key of P#.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 05:59 AM

Pee sharp? I'd get some yoghurt on that if I were you.. or cranberry juice.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 09:34 AM

Chaps in the Army who peed sharp generally visited the medics. The P# usually came after a visit with the village business girls.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: GUEST,RaVen Kittie
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 10:18 AM

You want sharp pee? Come with me to the litter tray.


   /\__/\
   |o o |
   \_X_ /

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 11:20 AM

What is that Lab doing in the litter tray? Not helping himself to a snack, I hope. I knew I should have stayed gone.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 11:25 AM

Thanks goodness you came back! Nobody knows how to work the magic wand. What should we do with it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 12:44 PM

Hold it gently in your right hand, wave it in a counter clockwise fugure eight motion...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 12:46 PM

And kiss that squid goodbye!


OOPS I think you got Bert's card too. That's unfortunate.

Give me that wand. A little to the left, a swirl to the right and the card is back.

But now Liz has the cat's tail and the squid...oh dear!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: MMario
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 12:53 PM

swish and *flick*!

swish and *flick*!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern 2007 Holiday escape
From: maeve
Date: 28 Dec 07 - 12:57 PM

swish and flick...and in tumble 100 Golden Haggis headed straight for MMario!