Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 25 Jun 07 - 05:49 AM

I recently heard some disturbing news that may impact of the catering.

Apparently, after intervention from Europe, there has been some difficulty with the provision of Leek and Potato soup.

It appears that when some members of the public have ordered "Leek and Potato" soup, they have, in fact, been served with "Leek and Po'a'o" soup. (and vice versa).

Following legislation, it is now only permissible to serve "Leek and Po'a'o" or "Leek and Pota'o" soup if you can show that the said pota'o or po'a'o was grown in the Thames Gateway area. I understand that some prosecutions are imminent and would wish to bring this matter to the attention of the organising committee in order that there should be no unpleasantness at the festival.

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 06:00 PM

200

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 05:52 PM

He will have your "Gregorian livers"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 05:47 PM

And should "Igor ever signal" you not to, you would be well advised to comply.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 05:42 PM

If you do take action...my good friend "Vile Ginger Rosa" may exact retribution on any of you!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mingulay
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 03:35 PM

Sareng Gloverig, the celebrated Hungarian Mystic and Palmist forsees an 'outcome'. When pressed on the matter he refused to comment further on the grounds of professional ethics. Cries of "mystic my arse" were ignored by M.Gloverig who remained aloof. It should be noted that he comes from a long line loofs starting with his Great Great Uncle Roderick, the man who designed the Loofitania.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 11:56 AM

I will be represented in any action by the famous and unbeatable 'Virgin Sal Gorse'....aided by 'avenger Sir Logi'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 11:51 AM

Don't worry about the weather forecast.

The Festival organizers have come to an arrangement with Glastonbury festival and will collect all the surplus mud they can carry.

Eddie baker only has one tanker so volunteers who can bring there own muck-spreader are asked to assemble by the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury with tanker,buckets,shovels,scoops of all sorts, glass slippers and any other mud gathering equipment.

Volunteering for this will count as Community Service for those sentenced to same following conviction for using a 'nom de guerre'that is an anagram of other notable persons.

Dave
(on behalf of no one at all really)

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Jun 07 - 11:25 AM

To whom it may concern, the following groups and individuals are preparing legal action against the originator of this thread, on the grounds that his chosen 'nom de guerre' is an anagram of their personal or business tiles.

The plaintiffs are:

Sir George Anvil- MP, JP,MA Ox, County Sheriff Blithershire


Revising Galore - 'Exam Success Guaranteed!!   

Vinegar Glories - 'Rare Condiments & Sauces Supplier'

Original Verges - 'Borderline Specialists'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jun 07 - 01:33 PM

Cutna Discatoo will be making recordings if anyone wants to record their own CD at the Festival

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 01:28 PM

Should that be Ymells Traf....?
On the subject of wind..Puff daddy will not be coming...nor will Ivana Trump, which is quite a blow to us all.
Lyrics add:- New verse to 'Blowin' in the Wind' by Bob Dylan..... 'How many beans in a baked bean can, How many beans in a can...The answer my friend' etc etc.
Not long to go now...is everyone ready?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 08:34 AM

"SPECIAL ATTRACTION"

Saturday afternoon only at the "Institute" from 2 - 4, local performance artist Dandruffe Potts will be showcasing his seminal work "Blitherscrum in String". A heady mix of sound and light that will soon be winging its way to the Tate & Lyle.

".......brilliant, I now see string in an entirely new light". Diedre Fumble - Docker & Stevedore Monthly.

" I was amazed". Ymells Tarf - Prof. of Windology (Cleckheaton).

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mr Happy
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 07:25 AM

The Granny Knot Historical Re-enactment Society will be performing their version of the Civil War action of 1645, the Battle of Blitherscrumb.

It will take place at 16.45 [a quarter to 5 pm] on Sunday afternoon.

As a lot of the grannies have either passed away or are incapacitated by double incontinence, Aldtimerz disease, war wounds or other incapabilities, new members are welcome.

The official Recruiting Sergeant will be conducting conscription sessions in Ye Olde Kingges Hedde and any new participants will be welcomed to the group by being given a shiny King쳌fs Shilling!

These are the only currency acceptable in Ye Olde Kingges Hedde & can be exchanged for quarts of mead or other traditional ales.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 04:47 AM

"white beard and strange clothing (no, not Terry Silver)"

Although I match that description it wasn't me either.

Have you approached K Kringle who resides in the Frozen North and drives a caribou powered carriage without wheels?

I have heard that the Mr Kringle attends winter festivals wearing a distintive form of dress and singing something that sounds like Ho-Ho-Ho.

I'll get me coat

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 04:13 AM

No Mike, you're confusing it with a similar series "The old jobs of crap England". Presented, I believe, by Tinny Robertson and featuring a man with a white beard and strange clothing (no, not Terry Silver).

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 22 Jun 07 - 02:48 AM

I believe it ws featured on that programme "The crap jobs of old England"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 07:52 AM

The strawberries are apparently grown with the topping already on them and are certified as being entirely organic. As a somewhat bucolic Mr Baker explained "Aaaarrrrrrr, proper stuff that boy, 'tis unnerd percent s**t. None o' they addytives".

It might also be noted that the entire crop is harvested by remote controlled machinery, the operators of which traditionally stand upwind of the strawberry beds.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,The Barden of England at work
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 07:41 AM

It's also been muted that Eddie Baker has been invited to join Simone Clair's latest update to the Edward series - Edward the Turd. They are feeling flushed at the moment.
Jhn Barden

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Jun 07 - 02:45 AM

Apparently Eddie Baker has offered to provide strawberries and cream this year with his own delicately flavoured chocolate topping...will not be too expensive. No complaints after his effort please as there was enough mudslinging last year.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Doktor Doktor
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 11:54 AM

The one the Little Dutch Boy got caught with his finger in ?


PS Will there be a Mudsplat? I did so enjoy the Alabama rolls Jo Offal brought to the last one ...

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 09:02 AM

Is it not being held by the big dyke near the small barn then?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 07:15 AM

WANTED!! Mingeta Patel is looking for donations of wool for her "Knit your own Lesbian" workshop which will be held in the small barn near the big dyke. Bring your own needles.

"What about the fringe" I hear you say. Well, when the Giro comes through I'll be straight off down to the barbers and have it trimmed.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 20 Jun 07 - 02:28 AM

Late addition to Workshop series:-

Now that you have converted your banjo to a tambourine what next?

(If there are not enough takers for this workshop it will be combined with the Bodhran to Frisby workshop)

Shall I get me coat or should I bring it to the Fest?

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Jun 07 - 11:08 AM

There were complaints last year about flies being round the toilet block....so a sign has been erected which reads "No flies allowed in the toilet area".
Last years poetry competition was for the best Rhyme...and was won by Thomas (Now to be known as Thomas the Rhymer). There will be another poetry competition this year and the theme will be blank verse. At another Festival apparently, when faced with this challenge, some contestants left their page blank....which is not really what we wanted.
Two new workshops this year:- 1) How to convert your banjo to a tambourine. 2) How to convert your bodhran to a long distance frisbee.
I think you will agree that both these workshops will be educational and well worth attending.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 03:22 PM

Was he playing "Ring of Bells?"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:36 AM

ROFLOL

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 06:33 AM

Willie Trapp, the naked concertina player is in hospital again so might not make the Festival.

Don't mention it if you see him; it's a sore point.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 04:18 AM

The guy who had the concession last year was prosecuted for using kangaroo meat as roadkill....in UK...no kangaroos....so where did he get it? We all knew it was kangaroo because it wouldn't stay on the plate.
News has just come in that Willie Trapp, the naked concertina player is in hospital again so might not make the Festival.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Folkiedave
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 06:33 PM

I am hoping to get the roadkill cafe concession.

My motto will be "I cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you".......

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 06:26 PM

Only after the Shepherds pie made with real Shepherds.......
So how many 'mudcatters' are coming this year and are we having a mudgather at some point?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 06:03 PM

Blitherscrum is a serious festival for serious people!

Serious? Critcal list nmore likely. Some of them probably need intensive care.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 03:35 PM

No...Blitherscrum is a serious festival for serious people!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 12:14 PM

There is a great book about 'Cannibalism by Henrietta Mann.
mmmmmm cannibal jokes.....two cannibals eating a clown...one said to the other "Do you think this tastes funny"?
There was a cannibal who passed his brother in the desert.
Then there was the cannibal who toasted his mother in law on her birthday...........
Do you think we should have a silly joke session at Blitherscrum this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 07:30 AM

Real Shepherds Pie (with real shepherds)

The recipe is in the Hannibal Lecter Cookbook.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 06:36 AM

Didn't I see Real Shepherds Pie (with real shepherds) and Real Cottage Pie

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 03:52 AM

Plenty of soup available at the Endangered Residents cafe on site.
Pigtail, Potato and leak(cider leaked onto the potatoes),
Thick Country Vegetable(made from a local)
Went to Rivelin Festival in Sheffield yesterday....afternoon concert and evening singaround...excellent...will go again next year..the atmosphere was superb. OOps back on track......you can have ordinary or garlic dread with the soup.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:07 PM

Have you tried the maxistrone?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 07:37 AM

Just had some really good Panda Passandra from the 'Endangered Animals Cafe' and the Real Turtle Soup was good too

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 04:05 AM

He's also a bit common though so perhaps we should think of him as a commontator! With all those potatoes his job certainly has appeal.
He has however never been known to have a chip on his shoulder.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 03:44 PM

Richard the Spud will have his baked potato cart to sustain us all......Richard is a bit of a martinet and a control freak...I suppose you might call him the first dictator.......

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:27 PM

Fish and chips will be served from the kiosk next to the village hall by 'King' Edward and Euphemia Codd-Fillet.
There will be workshops on how to make a sausage roll or an apple turnover and also how to make a Swiss roll....(actually we all know you only have to give them a shove).
Other food will be available on the campsite such as squid kebabs, Elephant burgers (jumbo sized)...Porcupines (or was it pork pies).
Baked hedgehog which is cooked in traditional clay ovens and come with their own toothpicks.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 12:46 PM

I'm a bit concerned that not much has been said about the catering apart from the Curry Ship and a brief mention of More on Toast. (It should be mentioned that More on Toast is run by the Salivation Army who will, of course, let the toast go free.)

Will the usual stalls be there?
Food for Fiends
Shane Hoose
Turnip'U'Like
Whale Meat Again

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 12:40 PM

You are right Mingulay inasmuch as Guest Spartiiicus is a woman...so not well blessed as you say. Demonstrating her ignorance yet again by misreading your post.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Spartiiicus
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 12:04 PM

No one's trying to worry Mike and why you want to tell us about his trouser department is worrying. How did you come about this information?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 11:46 AM

Just heard that the grand finale of the torchlight procession will be Guest toasting, especially those with cod Latin/Greek names. Persons called El Greko excepted.

Don't worry Mike, he's obviously not well blessed in the trouser department!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 11:23 AM

Isn't it strange that it is always Guests that turn their hand to personal name calling. I choose to ignore you guest spartiiicus, your ignorance supercedes even your knowledge.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 10:06 AM

...the Blitherscrum Folk Festival site has a perimiter fence with 150 posts.......

This is obviously in commemoration of the 150 Blitherscrum Martyrs who were burnt at the stake in 1382 for failing to pay their pole tax.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Spartiiiicus
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:56 AM

News just in from ace reporter Count Richard of Easby:

"Georgina Silver, formerly known as Mike and last seen in the Blitherscrum Arms declaring her undying love for a fine looking Swede, has been rushed into hospital to have a turnip removed from his/her arse. It was suggested that it be left there to prevent him/her talking from said orifice."

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Trevor
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:30 AM

I hear that top of the bill (or towards it anyway) is Rolf Harris performing extracts from his musical about a 17th century English diarist. He gets all dressed up apparently. Yes its.........all together now.......

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:28 AM

Don't worry, Millet's are having a sale. Now is the Summer of their discount tents.