BS: Chongo assumes presidency

Subject: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:31 AM

Any truth in the rumour? Could it only be an improvement?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:52 AM

I heard it too, Alan but nuthin on the TV yet... Maybe they are too busy roundin' up bio stuff on Chongo to anoounce it as yet...

Improvement???

Shoot, Charles Manson would be an improvement...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM

Well Bob, if you want my ten cents worth, you've had asses and rats as presidents... Ain't it time to give an honest chimp his chance?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:09 AM

Yup on both counts...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:13 AM

Well I'm not sure the general public would notice the changeover as the present incumbent looks more like an ape than many apes I've seen.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:19 AM

I guess so John, but apes show occasional signs of intelligence...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: BanjoRay
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM

Steve Bell in the Guardian (UK) has been drawing Bush as a chimp for a year or two now.
Ray

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:39 AM

Who needs a drawing?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:58 PM

I am willin' to have a kick at the can if it is the people's will. I figger it's time to bring some common sense to the White House. I wish I had a chance to run against that cheap lousy chimp imitator, George Bush, cos I would kick his scrawny Texas ass clear around the block! But I guess that ain't gonna happen cos he is a lame duck president now. Too bad.

I will face Cheney in the boxing ring anytime. Figger on just 2 hits. I hit him...he hits the mat.

If elected, I will put a bowl of bananas on every table and a mango in every juicer.

I will also bring back cars with running boards and big flared fenders. These cars we have now are boring. They all look the same. Besides, with no running boards to perch on whilst firin' a burst from yer tommy gun they are pretty useless as getaway and pursuit cars. No fun at all.

Count on me to change all that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 01:12 PM

sorry, Chongo, there's a lot of your cousins in the running

but as you see, a member of the family already has the job

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 04:29 PM

So Chongo is planning on taking the Dick Cheney tradition of indiscreet discharge of firearms a step further?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 04:53 PM

Probably several steps further.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 07:47 PM

Chongo - When You ASS-U-ME, you make an ASS out of U and ME...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:14 PM

You'd have to be insane to want to be president these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:21 PM

Does George W. Bush have any teeth? I don't think I've ever seen a picture of him with his teeth displayed -- smiling, laughing, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:32 PM

Sure. Here he is. Shit-eatin' grin an' all.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:32 PM

Bill D - Your first link is 'Forbidden' for me !

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:34 PM

Right click on the link, select "Copy Shortcut" then paste it into your address box and hit "Enter".

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:43 PM

Obviously a younger man when it was taken....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:50 PM

Thanks Cluin

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:27 PM

Foolestroupe, ol' pal...

I would never presume to redo what Mother Nature herself has already done to perfection.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: GUEST,John O'L
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:48 PM

Is this a new thread? I feel so embarrassed. I thought Chongo did that years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:07 PM

Look, I've had about all I can take of this "George W. Bush looks like a chimpanzee" crap.

It's highly disrespectful to chimpanzees.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:18 PM

Right on, Bee-dub. Bush does NOT look like a chimp! His eyes are too small and squinty. His ears are set way too low. His jaw is weak. His eyebrow ridges are all wrong. He is soooo far from looking like a chimp.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: JennieG
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:48 AM

Chongo, as President you will have to make speeches. I hope your speaking voice is good to listen to - Bush has a squeaky little soprano, he always sounds as though he is whining.

On second thoughts.........!

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:50 AM

Hell Jennie, Bush's next thoughts could be his first...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: JennieG
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 01:33 AM

Well, this is true......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 06:44 AM

In fact, if he had one, it would die of loneliness.

Brings to mind thoughts (mine) of bonsai johnnie. I really must get rid of those. I want to enjoy my dinner.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:18 AM

I don't know about it dying of loneliness, but being it such a strange place it would certainly feel lost.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 01:51 AM

So, any reaction from the moral majority, or any of the rest of the avian world?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:05 AM

If the Democrats don't show the good sense to draft me, I am just gonna have to launch a brand new party. The Simian Democratic Alliance. SDA. We figure to do the official launch of this new party in Chicago, because there are a hell of a lot of apes in that town.

Admittance, however, will not be limited to apes and monkeys. You humans can join too. After all, we are tenuously related, so why not?

Besides, I can't win without the human vote. It's a matter of sheer pragmatism.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:55 AM

You must be in with a chance Chongo. The line between simian and human behaviour is not getting any clearer. Just don't make that idiot Shane your campaign manager!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:07 PM

No chance of that. # 1 - Shane has been abducted (again) by space aliens. # 2 - Chongo and Shane can't stand each other. They each regard the other as a lower life form not worth associating with.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 02:10 PM

Ah well, LH, when all is said and done, they both still have politicians to look down on...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 02:33 PM

Heh! Ain't it true?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 02:52 PM

And I thought Chongo had more brains than that... ANYONE who wants the job should be disqualified for lack of sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 04:08 PM

That's true, BB. Chongo is actually blessed with a good measure of common sense. It is for that reason that I suspect he is launching this particular effort merely to make a point of some kind...or for the sheer fun of it. I don't think he expects to win.

Imagine his utter shock and horror...if he did!

I can just see him sitting in the bar on election night with his election team and his best buddies, getting happily inebriated as the first scattered results come in...getting progressively more and more nervous as the SDA climbs higher and higher on the ballot count...breaking out into a cold sweat as they leave both the Democrats and Republicans in the dust....!!!

I bet he won't even have prepared his acceptance speech. Poor little guy, he'll have to just wing it when the time comes.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 04:11 PM

Given the current crop of candidates ( so full of BS they do not need fertilizer) I suspect he has a greater chance of winning than anyone else. He runs the risk of getting half the conservatives, half the liberals, and everyone in the middle.,,, That looks like about 65% to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jul 07 - 04:14 PM

"be careful what you wish for- you might get it!"

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 06:57 AM

Can you stop it raining in England?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:16 AM

Nobody can stop it raining in England.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:24 AM

Where was Chongo born? The Presidency requires that he be a native born American. If we change the rule, Schwarzenegger will be in like a flash with Kissinger as VP.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:44 AM

Hmmm...yes, that could be a problem, couldn't it? Chongo was born somewhere in central Africa. He came over "on the boat" and landed at New York City.

Could Chongo be a stalking horse to set the stage for a Schwarzenegger/Kissinger presidency? What a horrifying thought!

There is one sure way to get around this "native born American" problem. The USA simply has to conquer and annex the entire world prior to the next election. Then everyone will technically be a native born American.

I think George W. Bush has the chutzpah to take on such a project. Whether he can succeed at it in less than 2 years is another matter. Well, we'll just have to wait and see.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jul 07 - 11:49 AM

You mean Cheney has the chutzpah and baby bush will go along with it because if he doesn't the Big C will yell at him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 07:38 AM

I was just thinking about Paris Hilton - not something I do often... She is rich, spoilt, stupid and has drink driving convictions. Doesn't that make her a potential presidential candidate these days?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 11:49 AM

Hmm. No, no, let's say that Chongo marries Paris Hilton instead. Then Paris can sit behind him doing the "adoring wife looking on" thing while Chongo makes speeches. It's a move that could work brilliantly to help Chongo bridge the human-ape/monkey divide and go all the way to the White House for the next 2 terms! Then Paris could run in 2016, by which time she will have gained the maturity necessary to lead the "Free" World (cough, cough...) to greater peace and prosperity.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo assumes presidency
From: alanabit
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 12:49 PM

I reckon. So long as Paris keeps her trap shut and leaves the talking to Chongo, they may be in with a chance.