BS: Standard experiences you have missed

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 09:16 AM

Single masted ship. Just like the ones my tourist ancestors used to get to England, Scotland, Ireland, and other places.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 09:21 AM

My ancestors, after touring England, came up with the family motto:

Herfang, nauðga og þá brenna.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 09:21 AM

Yeah, we had a lot of trouble with the likes of you in my ancestral home, the Isle of Man.

Is this you?

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TheSnail
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 09:23 AM

..anyway, those aren't ships, they're longboats.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: PMB
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 10:37 AM

Did your ancestors come on Saga tours then?

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 07 - 12:46 PM

No, we came on Viking. And yes, that's me without my glasses.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: kendall
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 08:10 AM

Not to put too fine a point on it,ships have three masts. They are square rigged except for the spanker, the rearmost sail which is rigged for and aft.

A brig has two masts, square rigged.
A Briganteen has two masts, the fore mast is square rigged and the main mast is fore and aft. It's also called an "Hermaphrodite brig."

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 09:05 AM

So the water-borne vessel we made as kids was a ship because it had three masts.

It wasn't very big and it sank very shortly after launch, but it had three masts with square sheets except for the mizzenmast, which had a couple old pillow cases. It also had a jib, but that doesn't count because we'd confused "jib" and "head". She was christened "USSHMS Thundermug" and sank on her maiden voyage.

I'm a plank owner, but you'll have to get the plank out of my brothers back porch if you want it.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TheSnail
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 10:13 AM

This is a ship.

I took the helm in the North Sea and didn't hit anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: kendall
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 10:31 AM

Raparie, A sheet is a rope, not a sail.

One rule of thumb is, A ship can carry a boat, but a boat can not carry a ship.
In the days of sail, a ship was "ship rigged" that is, three masts, square rigged. If rigged any other way, it is not a ship. It would be a Barque, schooner, brig or variations on those.

The name "schooner" comes from old Scottish word to schoon. A verb referring to moving fast over the water. And, of course, the schooner could sail circles around ships and sail much closer to the wind.
Donald McKay, a Scot, designed some of the fastest schooners ever built.The Cutty Sark was one of his most famous.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TheSnail
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 11:34 AM

The Cutty Sark a Schooner?

And just to answer Rapaire's original comment about schooner and junk rigged.

I've never had sex with Little Hawk either. Yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 11:52 AM

What is all this stuff about having sex with Little Hawk? ;-)

I guess I should be flattered, but the truth is...there are only a select and very lucky few in this world who have had sex with Little Hawk...and I ain't sayin' who they are!

Then there are those who have had sex with Chongo Chimp, and they are of several species. Ask around downtown Chicago if you want more details.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 12:53 PM

Consumed with chimpanical lust
Chongo thought his tool covered with rust,
So he buggered a Hawk
Three swans and and dawk
And a little green lizard, what bust.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 12:59 PM

Rapaire, once, when feeling quite lunar
Went to sea, with a banjo and tuner.
But it wasn't a bark --
'Twas the old Cutty Sark!
A clipper ship, sir, not a schooner!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 01:03 PM

If I go to sea it will be WITH Cutty Sark -- in a bottle -- and not ON her.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 01:36 PM

I've never gone to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 02:17 PM

I've never peed in a beautiful green boat.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 02:31 PM

ahem! In the spirit of the original question...(a thing sadly ignored by various unnamed varlots)...

I have never:
smoked a cigarette, seen an Flying Saucer..(though I have seen UFOs..(unidentified frying objects), read all them books by Mr. Tolkien about Hobbits and stuff, had frostbite, Remembered the Maine..(or even the Alamo, I guess), tied a yellow ribbon around anything, been on skis, been paid for singing...(umm..nor been paid NOT to sing), been out of North America...(damn it!), watched a complete episode of The Simpsons, had a blood transfusion, run a serious LONG race, parachuted...(why would anyone want to get OUT of a perfectly good plane?), broken any bones...mine or others, had a crew cut, bought OR sold dope (free is different), gotten my thrill on Blueberry Hill, been proselytized at by the Salvation Army..(they ignored me), eaten a Persimmon...or a turnip, and....I'm very sure I have never had sex with Little Hawk....the line was too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 03:23 PM

Taking Bill D to task here: (Never) "eaten a Persimmon..." They grow wild alongside Virginia roads, you know, Bill. I'm sure the same is true of Maryland. Now, granted, these are not the 3/4 pound honkers they produce in California but they are persimmons, for a' that.

As to Tolkien with all those folks from Middle Earth, read The Hobbits first; it is probably the best. The series are great fun, though. I resisted a co-worker's admonitions for months until finally he bought The Hobbits and gave it to me. Subsequently I of course went out and bought everything Tolkien wrote.

You are limiting yourself, Bill. (Want me to send you The Hobbit?)

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 04:01 PM

I dunno, Ebbie. Sometimes the things on folks' "never" lists are there on purpose. ☺ Cigarettes and Persimmons and certain long series of books included. (I have read "Bored of the Rings", by the National Lampoon...maybe it spoiled me.)

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: kendall
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 04:12 PM

I miss spoke indeed. Cutty Sark is a CLIPPER SHIP, not a schooner.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: kendall
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 04:17 PM

I coul;d have sworn that Donald McKay was born in Scotland and emigrated to Canada as a boy.

As they say, It's not what you don't know that hurts you...it's what you are sure of that is not so.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 04:46 PM

Cutty Sark, for those who have never seen her trim lines.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 06:58 PM

I have never:
Attended a professional football game
Had major surgery (assuming a tonsillectomy at age 5 doesn't count)
Been tattooed
Had anything pierced
Skinny-dipped
Knowingly cheated on my income tax
Killed a mammal (At age about 10, I shot and killed a baby red-wing blackbird with a BB gun, and felt so bad about it that I never hunted again.)
Had a sister or daughter
Used LSD or cocaine. (Come to think of it, maybe it's only because nobody ever offered me any.)
* * *
According to Minnesota law, it's adultery if the woman is married. If the woman isn't married, it's only fornication. At least, that's the way it was when I looked it up many years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Genie
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 10:38 PM

Gee, "standard" experiences I have missed?

I have never:

- been married
- borne children
- run a marathon (pretty much the same as the last thing, I'm told)
-lost my virginity in the back of a Chevvy (or any other car, for that matter)

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Joe_F
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 11:19 PM

I have never eaten possum or groundhog, despite the songs.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 06:19 AM

Rapaire

Cutty Sark, for those who have never seen her trim lines.

You can clearly see that she's a ship.... if not two.... bobbing up and down on the sea.... oops! She's capsized.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 08:44 AM

I've never borne Little Hawk's child.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 09:01 AM

Yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 09:40 AM

married
had children
had a passport
travelled outside Australia - I haven't travelled much in Oz, either
owned a television (tho I did have custody of my brother's old TV in 1978 when he was overseas but it died within a few months)
owned a mobile (cell) phone
had a speeding ticket (almost did once, I was keeping up with the car in front, not much over the limit, when I saw a cop car behind me - eeeek, if I put on the brakes they'll see - what'll I do - slow down - phew - big grin of relief - looked out the window, saw the cop grinning at me, then they pulled over the car in front and I drove home at least 5 miles under the limit.)

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 02:00 PM

I have never posted to a Mudcat thread without reading all of it first.....















I have also never told a bigger lie than the above...

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 07:31 PM

There is an excellent party game called "Deprived"—anyone played it?

You start by passing out a number of tokens to every participant. They could be anything—poker chips, playing cards, whatever. Then you take turns naming one thing you have never done. (You must be honest.) Then everyone who HAS done that thing has to give you a token. If you run out of tokens, you're out of the game. Keep going until one person has all the tokens (or you get bored).

Only one topic should be forbidden, and that is, experiences (non-experiences?) that follow common gender-stereotypes. For instance, it would be unfair for a man to say "I have never shaved my legs" or for a woman to say "I have never shaved my face." If that were allowed, the result would be very predictable and BORING.

On the other hand, it would be OK for a woman to say "I have never shaved my legs" or for a man to say "I have never shaved my face"—as long as those statements were true, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 07 - 09:21 PM

So my brother could say, "I never shaved my legs" even though they WERE shaved by a nurse to get material for his heart bypasses? (Not for the leg hairs, but the big vein inside.)

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 02:10 AM

I've never seen a cockroach that wasn't in a zoo, but I can't say as I missed the experience.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: GUEST,Frogprince, at a hostel in San Francisco
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 12:17 PM

Well, I can't say I've never had my bikini area shaved. (I had a vasectomy)

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: *Laura*
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 08:27 PM

eww Liz I have. I've nearly stepped on them barefoot. eurgh.

I'd say I've missed about half of these 'standard experiences' so far. But there is still plenty of time for me to get divorced or be sued.... actually - out of most of these I think I've missed more of the ones I don't mind missing... and I haven't missed quite a few of the fun ones! So far......
Lets hope it stays that way....

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Oct 07 - 09:23 PM

I rescued a very large cockroach once from drowning! I bet not many can say that. It was a Mexican cockroach, and its descendants are probably happily roaming the shower stalls in Cuernevaca to this very day.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 06:57 PM

I have never been homeless and never gone hungry. This is apparently a common experience even here in the US.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 07 - 10:09 PM

To the best of my knowledge I have never deliberately killed anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 08:21 PM

watched or listened to a talk show
owned real estate
been kicked in the ass
lost a file on my computer

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 11:23 PM

owning real estate ain't so bad............I can vouch for it........

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 12:08 AM

I've never tried marijuana...

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 12:39 AM

Kendall, I LIKED your joke, even if nobody else noticed it!

LH said, I skipped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York. . You might skip, but I think the expression is tripped, though I don't know why you'd want to trip a light, unless it was some hunky guy lighting a ciggie for you and you didn't want him to go away, so you could trip him and miss getting your ciggie lit, but get the guy, or I dunno...it's making m'head hurt!

I have never

graduated from high school (did get a GED) or college
worked my way up a corporate ladder
been arrested
had a moving violation ticket
skied, water or downhill (odd when one grew up in Colorado!)

been out of the United States, except maybe when I was a few months old and mom and dad drove into Canada from where we lived in North Dakota, not sure if they did or not

grown my hair as long as I would like it to be
played soccer


I think it'd be a lot easier to list the things I have done!

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 05:51 AM

I have missed [not] 'The Sound of Music.
I have not seen, any of the 'Rocky' films, the Terminator, or any of the modern genre of violent films.
I grew up in Glasgow, and never did find violence entertaining.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: GUEST,slag
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 07:11 AM

Little Hawk, you whore! You said I was the only one!

STANDARD experiences? Sorry, I think I've had them all. Non-standard? Most of them too. Things you wouldn't believe. I'll check the statutes of limitations on some of them and get back to this, maybe.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 11:43 AM

Just thought of a new one yesterday: I have never ridden a snowmobile. That's a pretty common experience if you live in Minnesota. I could also say I've never ridden an ATV or a Jet ski. I have never downhill-skied. I did try ice-fishing once and hated it.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: RangerSteve
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 02:07 PM

I've never been to Mexico, which isn't really a standard experience, but as my dad's parents were from Mexico, everyone thinks I should be in love with the place.

Never had a passport - all my overseas traveling was done in the U.S. Navy.

Graduated College, been married or had kids. Never knew either of my grandfathers. Haven't met all my aunts, uncles or cousins. Never saw "Shindler's List" or "Ghandi". Never broke a bone in my body.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: Mr Red
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 02:33 PM

Knowing a father (he died when I was 9 months old) yeah I missed him for sure. Once I was old enough to appreciate what it was I missed.

Illegal drugs - no I won't feel in any way deprived for that.

Owning a TV - but then I have owned 4 TV cards for PC's and several video recorders. Mostly to listen to digital radio of course - wouldn't wanna miss Garisson Keillor.

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 02:42 PM

To respond directly to the specific question:-

   I have never owned a house

   I've never got drunk
   
   I've never been unfaithful.

   I've never really worried about public status

   Never held a dinner party

   Never spent more than £600 on anything

   Never owned a new car

   Never hit anybody (cept my Dad slightly once, by accident as art of telling a joke.

   Never bought a celebrity mag

   Never bought a new TV

   Never owned a drinks cabinet

   Never thought that a woman who is funny ha-ha is strange

   Never bought a packet of cigarettes

   Never been to a classical music concert in dressy evening wear

   Never gone to see a horror film

   Any number of standard films I haven't seen, books I haven't read.

   Never bought a new pop music disc (pop in widest sense)

   Never said to anyone "I hate you", alas. Great failing.


    Ivor

   Never owned a store card

Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 05:55 PM

I thank God that I've never had to fight in a battle. And when my Dad died a few years ago, and I gave the eulogy at his funeral, I thanked God that he had never had to fight in a battle either!

I've never actually been to North, South or Central America - or Africa or Australia, for that matter - just never got round to it.