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BS: Standard experiences you have missed
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Subject: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Joe_F Date: 11 Oct 07 - 09:53 PM What experiences common to your class & culture have you gotten thru life without? I have never -- owned a TV set had my pocket picked attended a professional sporting event attended an opera attended a ballet been in the armed services been married been in debt fallen in love sued or been sued |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: M.Ted Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:00 PM You may have had your pocket picket without ever realizing it--as for the rest, you've missed out on a lot-- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:10 PM I've never experienced any of those common things either, Joe F...except for falling in love! I did that more than a few times. It's the worst peril there is in life, in my opinion, other than being on the other end of George Bush's foreign policies. ;-) How about these... I have never... owned a cell phone owned an ipod been in a fist fight had sex with Madonna (snort!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: M.Ted Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:20 PM How do you watch "Star Trek", Little Hawk? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: bobad Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:22 PM I have never... Painted my toenails Had a piercing Spit nickels Danced all night Swung on a star Been arrested Been to Woodstock Had sex with Little Hawk |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Rapparee Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:28 PM I've never had sex with Little Hawk either. I've also never had to escape from a sunken submarine, been sued or sued anyone (yet), or been arrested (traffic tickets, yes, but nothing more). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Rapparee Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:29 PM Oh, I also don't have any tattoos or body piercings (deliberate ones, that is, done for cosmetic purposes -- there ARE a few scars). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:38 PM Holy - oil of bat-crap....SuperMan!!!!
Mever fallen in love?????
Sincerely,
Consult the UFO web-places....you are seriously missing an crucial part of "human." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Oct 07 - 10:43 PM You don't have to own a TV in order to have sometimes had access to one, M.Ted... ;-) Hey! I've never been arrested either. No tatoos, no piercings, no earrings. Gosh. I just haven't lived, eh? I've also never been to a Rolling Stones concert. Could've gone to Woodstock, I wasn't that far away from there at the time...but I stayed home. I've never had sex in the back seat of a car nor have I skipped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York. I've never had the moon hit my eye like a big-a pizza pie. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Oct 07 - 11:35 PM Yeah, I was kind of astounded by the "never fallen in love" bit too... But there was a very nice woman whom I was in love with and then friends with for many years...and she always claimed that she had never fallen in love, despite being in romantic relationships. I just couldn't believe it. She'd fallen in "like", but not in love, according to her. She was quite a warm and affectionate person too, but she just did not seem to lose her head that way when it came to romance. That's rare. She was rare. I still miss her bigtime. Here are a few more... I've never had a cordless phone Never had a speaker phone Never had call waiting Never had call display (but am about to get it) I've never worn a ring I've almost never used aftershave lotion, despite shaving since around age 19 (but I think I did use it maybe just once or twice...can't quite remember) I've never used Q-tips...except when working on model aircraft, of course...they're handy for that. I've never had any progeny, official or otherwise. Trust me. I haven't. I've never believed that Coke is the Real Thing. Or that Pepsi tastes better. (It doesn't. It's way too sweet.) I've never had any of my wisdom teeth extracted. Boy, this is fun.... ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Amos Date: 12 Oct 07 - 12:16 AM I have been arrested, have had cell phones and iPods, have fallen in love, and while never having escaped from a sunken sub, I have escaped from an empty SCUBA rig at forty feet below the rolling Pacific. I've had wisdom teeth, adenoids and attitudes extracted, have slept on the street and in mansions. I don't recall painting my toenails, but I have worn a dress once, for a very short time. I've had progeny, blasphemy and adultery; I have flown the air, sailed deep blue water, dived the shallows and slept on the earth and dug under it. I have been hit by a cop and kissed by a maiden, and have been stony broke and well-to-do. I have driven over 100 mph. I didn't make Woodstock, but I made the Newport Folk festival just before that. So I am hard put to know what I have missed, except for war. I have never fired a gun in anger, taken a human life, committed rape or any other major felonies. I have never fired a heavy weapon or sunk a ship. I have not rounded the Horn or traveled physically at Mach 1. I have not been aloft in a balloon, hang glider, or dirigible. I have not played Madison Square Garden or a thousand other great places, but I did sing in the Central Park open auditorium one night. And although I have always been a little bit wild, I have never gone mad. Not sriously, I mean... I guess I haven't missed much -- just enough to keep me curious. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Ebbie Date: 12 Oct 07 - 12:45 AM Amos, that's a great life! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Barry Finn Date: 12 Oct 07 - 01:27 AM I do own a TV, but only 1 " " " " cell phone I have fallen in love more than a few times, actually 3 been in debt been to Woodstock been in more than a few fist fights, a couple gang wars & a few barroom brawls had a couple tattoos Made it to some of the early Newport festivals hitch-hiked across the US once, drove across 6 times had sex in the middle of a snow storm in the middle of Government Center Slept in the same room as Amos, but I didn't peep, I did peep at Big Mick though, he wasn't big been pawed on the arm by a bear broken a heel, an ankle, a wrist, a leg & a nose, a few times sailed across the Pacific had been considered for a contracted hit by crupt union officals was under FBI protection crossed paths with a mess of black cats stowed away of a ship full of candy bound for South Africa, got chased off before we could finish eating it all & before it left the dock Snuck into Canada barefoot through the woods, then promtly got thrown out ate squirrel & rabbit, not alive though, killed them first been rescued at sea, well, towed in, against our wills sailed as part of an all naked crew with 3 other guys ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,& 19 women seen the Northern Lights, seen the green flash of the sun sinking in the water's horizon, seen a moonbow over a canyon on Maui, seen a 3 day Kona storm blow out to sea, bounce off an island & come right back again rode a cement bucket from a crane down 7 stories, rode a conveyor belt back up 3 stories climbed to the top of a tall ship's mast but didn't walk out on the yard dove with tanks below 76', free dove over 40' woke up to the sounds of porpoise, gone to sleep to the sounds of gun fire hiked inside a volcano & under a waterfall but didn't walk 20 miles of barbed wire & didn't use a cobra snake for a neck-tie but was close enough to be biten by a conga eel had my skin turn completely yellow Amos, we should swap stories,,,,,,,,,,,,,but not spit there's still a few things I haven't tried & a couple things I have but wished I hadn't but I have lived & I think I went mad once Barry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: JohnInKansas Date: 12 Oct 07 - 02:09 AM The "things everybody did" that I guess I missed out on can be summarized quickly - - - CHILDHOOD: I went to work in the family sheetmetal business at age 12. THE 60s: In college when it started, then straight to the Army in Yuma Arizona - where nothing happened. From there to Milwaukee WI, where if anything happened nobody noticed. By the time I left Milwaukee in '68 it was pretty much all over with before someone told me some things about it and made me feel all sorry. (I read a couple of Playboys and caught up on the theory, I guess.) John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Mickey191 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 02:21 AM I remember crying once cause I'd lost $10.00 Years later-I lost $200.00 and didn't drop a tear over it--cause I'd just lost my husband. Everything is relative. I've had my pocket picked-Creep got $83.00 Never been to a sporting event or a parade. Went to Woodstock, Metropolitan Opera House, Carnegie Hall. Met Humphrey Bogart Shook hands with Hubert Humphrey, Nelson Rockefeller, Paul Newman & Johnny "Call for Philip Morris" HE was creepy--looked like he been dipped in wax. Made my wedding gown. Set off a fire alarm- (6 yrs. old) Set our livingroom on fire-(4 yrs. Old) Still have wisdom teeth. Had a boat named after me. Rode a horse on Catalina Island. Had my heart broken twice-(That was enough!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work Date: 12 Oct 07 - 02:41 AM I have never:- been arrested made love in the back seat of a car - the front yes, but never the back. I don't recommend the front. Especially if it's a manual (stick shift) Climbed a snow topped mountain Made a snow angel been waterskiing or windsurfing been divorced seen a live badger driven an open topped car, only ever been the passenger. The list of things I haven't done is endless... the list of things I wish I'd never done is even longer! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: GUEST,PMB Date: 12 Oct 07 - 03:34 AM Joe asked about STANDARD experiences. There's lots of things I've never done: I've never said boo to a goose, nor watched the sun go down on Galway Bay, nor kept my chewing gum on the bedpost overnight. Peeping through the bathroom door, I never saw my sister in the raw. I never lived in a yellow submarine, nor a windmill in old Amsterdam, nor was I ever left to die like a fox on the run. But few of those would be considered standard. OK, Standards. I never saw Duke of Gloucester before Barry. I was never hauled by a Britannia, a Clan, a 2MT or a 9F, and I never saw a Crosti boilered one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work Date: 12 Oct 07 - 03:59 AM I left my chewing gum on the bedpost overnight... it took all the varnish off the next morning. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 04:05 AM I have never "thrown a fuck." Now don't get me wrong. I have actively engaged in sexual intercourse (fucking) for many years but I have never thrown a fuck. The first time I heard someone say that he "threw her a fuck" I was immediately drawn to the concept. Another way to enjoy the pleasures of sex and this one sounded like a real kicker to me. I immediately began to think how to best go about it. No matter how hard I tried, I didn't seem to be able to figure this one out. Oh, I tried mind you but every attempt seemed to me like some silly form of mastubation and I feared becoming known far and wide as a total jackoff, much like we all now consider Gargoyle to be. So I gave it up. I hated to admit defeat but there was no option. I just couldn't throw a fuck and conceded I didn't give a fuck...... which was something I could do. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: John Hardly Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:22 AM I've never been to me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: John Hardly Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:22 AM I've never been to Spain, but I kinda like the music. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: John Hardly Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:24 AM I've never called Ani DiFranco a "folk singer". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Becca72 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:30 AM I've never had an operation (other than wisdom teeth) I did not go to Woodstock (wasn't born yet) I've never had sex in a car (front OR back seat) I've never peed outside I've never had sex with Little Hawk I've never been married I've never had children (and I plan to continue that one) I've never left North America (sadly) I've never been pick-pocketed |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: kendall Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:38 AM I've done all those things. You haven't missed much. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: John Hardly Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:38 AM So I guess I'm the only one who's had sex with Little Hawk then? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: John Hardly Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:39 AM okay, apparently kendall has had his way with Little Hawk as well. Trollop. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Rapparee Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:54 AM My research shows conclusively that 92.7% of everyone in North American and 87.3% of everyone in the UK and Europe has had sex with Little Hawk. The research also clearly demonstrates that 7.3% of everyone in North America and 12.7% of everyone in the UK and Europe are in their right minds. Research in other parts of the world is continuing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Oct 07 - 08:57 AM Aw, c'mon, Spaw. You're already known far and wide as a total jackoff, right? ;-) But seriously, man...I too was a bit puzzled the first time I heard the expression "throw a fuck". I heard it from Jim. Jim was a real classic blue collar semi-reformed hellraiser from Newmarket, Ontario. He was the kind of guy who would fit in great in Rapaire's Idaho Legion...he had all the macho qualifications. Mind you, Jim was not stupid, not at all, but he was relentlessly rough hewn, pretty much "uneducated" in the academic sense, very streetwise in both inclination and manner. We were working together at the gas station on Highway 11. Jim found me intriguing, because I'm totally opposite to him in just about every way. I found him intriguing for the same reason. I'm a thinker who likes to read esoteric literature. Jim's a man of action who likes to fix old cars, drink, and party. At any rate, Jim had a lot of salty expressions and most of them had something to do with sex. He would observe female customers like a pirate assessing the value of a harborfront cargo, and he would make various deadpan wisecracks out of their hearing... "I'd f*ck her on a dime..." was one of his favorites. It meant "at a moment's notice"..."anywhere, any time, any acceptable method". "She's a spot counter." he observed one day, as a well-dressed woman marched busily back to her car. "What do you mean?" I asked. "She's the type," he said, with the air of a man who knows whereof he speaks, "who, yer throwin' her a f*ck and she's lookin' at the ceiling and counting the spots! She's goin' one..........two..............three....(very bored tone of voice)" I burst out laughing. "Oh, you mean she's frigid, do you? How can you tell?" "Simple," he said. "I can spot that type a mile away. Her ass is so tight it would bust a broom handle." Jim was always quite sure about things like that. So, anyway, that was the first time I ever heard that expression you alluded to, Spaw, and in fact Jim remains the only person I have ever heard it from to this day, but I'm sure he's not alone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Amos Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM I had no idea Little Hawk had been so promiscuous and wanton in his ways. Even KENDALL! My god. I am going to have to rethink some things here. I mean, really. This changes the fundamentals. What kind of a place is this, anyway? I never bedded no spot counters, as far as I know. Seems to me they were much more involved than that. 'Course, ya never really know... :D A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:26 AM "I never bedded no spot counters, as far as I know. Seems to me they were much more involved than that." Yeah Amos, but involved with what? Reading the phone book? Doing her nails? Hell, I remember one time you said you were in a menage a trois but it turned out that your date had called a friend to play Scrabble while she was waiting on your Viagra to work. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:33 AM LOL! Geez...it's starting to feel like old times around here... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: M.Ted Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:44 AM The reason Little Hawk has been so promiscuous is that he doesn't have a TV. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Amos Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:54 AM Barry, I agree. Blood brothers, but not spit brothers. LOL! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: MBSLynne Date: 12 Oct 07 - 09:55 AM Hmmm that all makes me feel quite good since I've done heaps of those things. Though I've never had sex with Little Hawk. I've had sex in the back seat of a car...and the front and the roof and the boot, and on a gravestone, on the beach...er...shall I stop there? Gods I hope my Mudcatter kids don't read this! I've never owned an iPod or a dishwasher or a motorbike. Never been mugged or burgled. This is all very negative. I'm going to compile a list of things I HAVE done and post it later! Love Lynne |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:02 AM Geeziz Lynne.....Did WE have sex? I thought things like the trunk(boot) and roof plus the gravestone were kinda' unique........So where were you back, say, 30 to 40 years ago???? LOL Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: bobad Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:05 AM I' always claiming that I'm probably the only person in the world who has never seen the movie "The Sound Of Music". I have never watched "Star Trek" either. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:11 AM I've sure as hell never seen "The Sound of Music" all the way through, I can tell you that! Jeezus! Five minutes of it is about all I can handle. They were playing it on an overhead video screen in a hobby shop one time..."Wheels and Wings" in Toronto. Intolerable. I wanted to spend about half an hour looking at all the model kits, so I went and begged them to turn the movie off. They did, and the other customers all cheered! ;-) (this really happened, I'm not making it up) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: KB in Iowa Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:39 AM "(this really happened, I'm not making it up)" Are you implying that you did make up all the rest of the stuff you have posted? Just wondering. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: John Hardly Date: 12 Oct 07 - 10:59 AM The hills are alive. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Becca72 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 11:04 AM I have never seen Sound of Music all the way through, either. And I've also never watched Its a Wonderful Life. I have seen all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, though :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Alba Date: 12 Oct 07 - 11:13 AM Your young yet Becca...there is still plenty of time for you to maybe, one day, find yourself trapped in a room with the Von Trapp Family playing on a TV screen, dressed in Outfits made from Bedroom curtains and Yodeling for all they are worth. How could you possibly want to miss that experience! A belwildered Jude :>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Amos Date: 12 Oct 07 - 11:14 AM KB: LH does NOT make things up...at least that is what he keeps telling himself. If he thought for a minute that his constellation of vibrant, vivid characters was fiction, he'd probably have to shoot himself in disgust. As far as he is concerned, Shane, Chongo, Chongo's sister Chinga, and William Shatner are quite real. So can readily say "I am not making this up", because no inkling of actually making stuff up can be allowed into his forebrain. But this is a touchy area, best handled only by professionals. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Becca72 Date: 12 Oct 07 - 11:17 AM God, I hope not, Alba! I'll find a way out of that room somehow |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: KB in Iowa Date: 12 Oct 07 - 11:33 AM Yeah, Amos, I'm just funning with him. I love LH, in fact we are having sex right now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Ebbie Date: 12 Oct 07 - 11:45 AM What a great way to wake up! I'm sitting here all alone with just my dog and cat and my coffee- no Little Hawk here - and chortling. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: frogprince Date: 12 Oct 07 - 12:28 PM Faskinaitin'.... I was actually moved to take notes throughout the thread. Of all the experiences listed that are really common, if not definitely " standard", I have missed out on: Having my pocket picked Opera Ballet Lawsuit Owning a Cellphone (my wife has one) Piercing or tattoo being arrested having progeny water skiing divorce adultry. I have painted my toenails (once for Halloween) I have been aloft in a balloon I have seen my sister in the raw. (I have glimmers of very early memory, and there were moments when I was a little perv of 9 or 10, she was 15 or 16, and we had to bath from a washpan in the corner of the living room that was out of sight from the kitchen. We were both very near-sighted. If I stuck my head around the door with my eyes narrowed down, when she had her glasses off, she though my eyes were closed, and she only got a little ticked off for being teased.) When I was 30 years old, it occured to me that I had never owned a bicycle or flown a kite. I made a point of doing both just after that. I've sailed to distant shores, I've slept on dusty floors Dean |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Oct 07 - 12:45 PM You made up Chinga, Amos, I didn't. You invented Chinga one day in a puerile attempt to insult Chongo. You are a rapscallion, a nullifidian, a maundering fitch, and a shuffling, bat-faced, dunderheaded kvetchmacher. Furthermore, William Shatner IS real...and larger than life. ;-) Everybody knows that. You have lost your grip on reality, my good sir, and it only awaits now for your near relatives or some other thoughtful and responsible people to have you safely confined in the upstairs room of a mouldering country mansion, chained behind a heavy locked door like some nameless abomination in an H.P. Lovecraft story, there to live out your remaining days and hopefully not embarass the family or cause any public mayhem. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Rapparee Date: 12 Oct 07 - 01:16 PM I was unaware that LH had any frontal lobes left after the operation and all. I've rappelled down a cliff in the rain (150 - 200 feet high) using clothesline and no harness, but I don't recommend it to anyone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Oct 07 - 01:19 PM Yeah, but did you do it in your underwear? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Standard experiences you have missed From: KB in Iowa Date: 12 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM I ripped the tag off a mattress. |
