BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,Billy Weeks
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:14 AM

Which must mean that I've lost my cookie.
Must regurgitate it.
BW

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,Billy Weeks
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 09:12 AM

Quick! quick! the cat's been sick -
Where? where? under the chair -
Hasten! hasten! fetch a basin -
Too late! too late! it's all in vain -
The cat has licked it up again

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:05 AM

As a Christmas treat yesterday evening I left the few remaining prawns out for the kitties before going to to visit a friend.

Regretted it when I got back 3 hours later when I had to clear prawny cat yak off the kitchen floor..

If the sodding animals will eat everything in sight, they should at least have the decency to keep it down or do it in the garden where the pigeons will dispose of it.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 07:57 AM

A few weeks back the whole family went down (one by one not all at the same time) with a stomach bug. First to suffer was Molly (8) who along with twin brother had been sent up to tidy bedroom in readiness for Christmas. Needless to say they did very little and by bedtime the floor was still covered in an assortment of books, toys and discarded clothes. The plastic bedside cabinet from IKEA was lying on its back also full of junk. I decided it was better tackled the next day and regretted that decision an hour later when Molly (who sleeps in the top bunk) got up to go to the loo and in mid ladder threw up covering all the stuff on the floor and filling the cabinet!! On the plus side there are now a lot fewer toys and books to tidy as they all went into the bin!
The rest of the family confined their upchucking to suitable receptacles or so I thought. Our washing tub disappeared for a week or so but was discovered by Geoff last week in the dustbin. Evidently my eldest son (21 so we don't venture into his room often)thought it was just right for the purpose but didn't see the need to empty it or wash it out! Instead he just covered it with a towel for a week or two and then dumped it in the bin. Of course by this time the carrots had gone green and furry!! Even the bin men doidn't deserve that Christmas box so geoff did get it out, clean it and its back in its rightful place. Son is apparently suffering from post Christmas reflux today but this time if he doesn't clear up after himself he may find his bags packed and left by the bin!
More turkey anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Becca72
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 11:19 AM

Bee-Dubya...that just gave me a major flashback to elementary school...our janitor would come in with a bucket of cat litter (or something else absorbant) and would spread it over the puke like he was feeding chickens...he would even say "here chick, chick, chick" while he did it. Generally it grossed us out even more...

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,strad
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 06:22 AM

Sailing Ship Rule: Hauling to be done on board, heaving to be done over the side!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 11:19 PM

As long as thee is puke, there will be a need for day-shift janitorial staff in elementary schools. They can do the mopping and waxing after-hours, but the puke cleanup's gotta be done now!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Joe_F
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 09:12 PM

If there is ever to be a song about seasickness, it strikes me that the list of degrees of freedom of a ship would make an excellent chorus:

Roll, pitch, yaw,
Surge, sway, heave!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 05:44 AM

...and it was post # 100 to boot!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 05:43 AM

That's a mental fur ball if I've ever heard one!!!

(art)

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 05:40 AM

Have a merry one!!!

Love,

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Art Thieme
Date: 25 Dec 07 - 05:38 AM

If ya wanna get thin after eating a shoat
Stick your finger down your throat
Wiggle it around and around and around
And there it'll be all over the ground
Won't look like ham
Maybe more like Spam.

(by Anna Rexic---Christmas morning---2007)

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work and very glad she is
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 06:22 AM

because I was woken this morning to the sound of the cat yakking on the stairs... not a good day for walking round barefoot in our house. Good job we have an industrial sized can of carpet shampoo and I'm now at work.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,strad
Date: 24 Dec 07 - 06:14 AM

Coming home from a holiday we went for a curry in Aberdeen. When we got on the ferry for a fourteen hour trip home, the wind was picking up and by the time we sailed it was a full gale. Now, I am not the best of sailors, so within the hour I'm lying on my bunk (the lower one she insisted) and calling for Bert and Hughie at regular intervals. The stench in the cabin was so bad that even I noticed it. I felt sorry for the next passengers who'd use that cabin. Never eaten curry before sailing since!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 07 - 05:42 PM

What's green and has two eyes made out of coal?




Frosty the Snotman!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: john f weldon
Date: 23 Dec 07 - 04:59 PM

I put this on a Xmas thread, but EmmaB reminded me that it fits here as well:

A little tale apropos of nothing:
When I was young, I noticed that everything we did on Christmas became part of a tradition; if we did something one year, we had to do it every year forever after. Playing table shuffleboard on Xmas Eve or reassembling the old toy train....
Naturally Christmas became ever more complex as we tried to fit in all the traditions.

One year my (then about 6-yr old) sister ran downstairs to look at her presents, and the excitment overwhelmed her. She stared for a second, then ran to the kitchen sink and vomited violently!

My father watched grimly. "Oh God, now we have to add this as well!"

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Azizi
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 07:46 AM

This thread proves we'll talk about anything.

I guess that's good.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Dec 07 - 04:35 AM

Gervaise!! Another bucket for M'seur.

Guess what I'm going to watch this afternoon whilst making cushion covers....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Becca72
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 10:35 AM

LOL Liz.

"Oh my, I have trod in ze bucket"

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 06:18 AM

Just undergone some close personal experience.

The empty stomach first thing in the morning when the nose is dumping out huge amounts of mucus...

Gotta go now...

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 03:29 AM

How apt this thread is. I've spent a great deal of the last 18 hours with a mewling, puking child...

Limpit "decorated" the front room carpet yesterday - 'luckily' she'd been feeling poorly and hadn't eaten so it was just the blackcurrant drink she'd had an hour previously... ever seen purple snot?

Just as well I had a new can of carpet cleaner handy and no pigeons.

Anyone else seen 'The Meaning of Life' from the Monty Python crew? Remember Mr Creosote? "Jus wan moor waffer theen meent?" Allegedly, they used several gallons of Scotch Broth - a chunky meat and vegetable soup that bears an astonishing resemblance to those plastic puke puddles you can buy in joke shops for that scene. Some of the extras had not been completely prepared so quite a lot of those retches and heaves were real.

I can honestly say I've not eaten Scotch Broth since seeing that film.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 09:42 PM

The scientific name for yaupon holly is Ilex Vomitoria, so called because various American Indian tribes used its leaves to brew a vomit inducing ceremonial tea.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Greg B
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 08:21 PM

Oh god. Puking while driving.

That brings back an awful memory.

I went to a flying-club meeting several years back. Consumed
a couple donuts then realized I felt rather poorly. Very poorly
indeed.

Got in the car, and made it about two miles down the country road
before I realized that something was going to erupt--- NOW.

Pulled over, and actually go the door open before I chunderspewed
on the ground, on the door, on my trousers, and unfortunately,
on the dashboard of my beloved AUDI S4.

Now, the S4 has very stylish fine screens over its dashboard
and door stereo speakers. It was quite the job to get the bits
out of there next day--- but I get ahead of myself.

So there I was, by the side of the road, with vomit down
the front of my trousers, wondering what to do about getting
myself home. I knew I could drive, but the 'bung' I was
giving off was not pleasant.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I stepped behind the car, took off the soiled trousers, and tossed
them into the boot, where a 'Weather-Tek' liner could come to no
harm.

Jumped into the driver's seat and all the 15 miles home prayed
that a) I'd keep my few remaining cookies down and b) No officer
of the law would find reason to pull my over and find me driving
home in me Y-fronts (aka 'tighty whities').

Got back to the farm where I was at the time renting a loft over
the garage and ran out and upstairs before my landlady or her
daughter could spot me.

Spent the next day or so groaning in the bed.

There was something ignominious about hurling in the car when I can
fly upside down and squiggly in an airplane and never bat an eye
in situations which would make others toss up their toenails.

Just remembered the rest of that Bernard Wrigley verse:

"Last night outside the Chinese chippy I shouted out for Huey
I'd had me share of pints of ale and curried pork chop suey
But as I lay there in the gutter, I was glad I wore me Mac
Because when I shouted out for Huey, someone answered back!"

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Bert
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 05:42 PM

You might be better off selling Manitas;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Becca72
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 03:53 PM

I think I'd rather just sell the car, Liz. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 03:40 PM

Manitas has twice now puked over the steering wheel whilst driving... once whilst I was in the car. The car was moving quite slowly as he was trying to pull into a car park at the time, but I was out and across the car park bfore he got the handbrake on. It was a real treat for the people in the Little Chef eating their breakfasts and looking out the windows.... Manitas heaving the remains of 5 pints of Tanglefoot over their lawns.


It was then that I decided I was going to learn to drive.

Do you know how long it takes to get the smell of puke out of a car dashboard?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Severn
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 03:15 PM

Even "Amazing Grace" couldn't save a retch like that!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 12:57 PM

Worst one I ever heard........It was before we moved back from Georgia so I guess maybe '87. REdneck throwing up in Chick Fil-A parking lot and my friend asks if he's okay. The guy says he's doing a little carpentry. Our response was "Say what?" He says, "Karen Carpentry."

The temptation to kick this guy in the balls was really strong but we did at least ignore him, hopefully not giving him any satisfaction.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Peace
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 11:59 AM

Takes lots of guts to do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Greg B
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 11:45 AM

>but it turned out to refer to the Chinese takeout food that had been
>provided.

"One night outside the Chinese chippy, I shouted out for Huey
Cuz I'd had me share of pint of ale and curried pork chop suey..."

--- Bernard Wrigley

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Becca72
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 11:40 AM

Well I'll never look at clam chowdah the same way again...Ewwww.

When my niece was little she horked in one of the bins of sweaters at a discount department store.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 11:29 AM

spew
ralph (1st expulsion) followed by o'rourke (2nd expulsion)

Ever since childhood i've really disliked puking or vomiting. (I guess we were taught vomit was more 'polite' than the word vomit.

I think I tend to use the word barf most,

Whatever I call it, I'll go through great effort to avoid it even though I know I'll most likely feel better afterwards. Might, too, have something to do (at least for the past 27 years) with having a composting toilet.

We played a gig some years ago at a coastal cruise on the M/V Thomas Laighton for the Friends of Odiorne. Sea was rougher than optimal & th Laighton hasn't much draft/better for the river. Contributors getting very seasick sometimes suddenly. Had a kid spew his partially digested clam chowder all over my shoes. Coast Guard ended up taking a lot of people off so the rest could finish the cruise.

Gig to remember.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Peace
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 10:22 AM

I don't wanna contribute to thread drift, never having done that in the past, but did any of you ever hear the booger thing? "Trade you a hard center for a soft center"? The 'dibs on the big chunks' remark reminded me of that. I did once ask a fellow if I could have the red peppers, and his response was NOT at all dignified. Man, there's lots of very sick people on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Becca72
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 10:11 AM

"dibs on the big chunks" was a common response to "I'm gonna puke" when I was a kid. Spaw, did your friend make his way east and multiply?

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,Black Hawk on works PC
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 09:15 AM

Shouted quickly ;_

'Mammy,mammy - get me a spoon quick!
Grandma's been sick and grandads getting all the big lumps!'

Old playground cry to shock passing adults.(UK)

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 08:03 AM

I'll post some good rural legends when I get to DC. Like the one about the traveling salesman and the farmer's child.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Azizi
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 07:47 AM

Urban Legend Alert!

"Don't Worry Be Happy" songfacts:

"There were rumors that McFerrin attempted suicide after doing this song, and they are not true. However the rumors became so strong that even to this day people think Bobby is dead. This is untrue, he is alive and well".

http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=5362

**

Urban legends make me puke.

And those rural legends are even worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: gnu
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 06:42 AM

Now, normally, I find such pranks disgusting and childish, but, Robin, I am still laughing as I type!

Liz... pigeons are rats with wings. I had to clean out pigeon nests and droppings in the eaves and trim of old houses as a young lad new to the renovation and construction trades. The shit and the lice made me, you know....

And, when it was windy, I had to clean the sides and windows of old houses until I became accustomed to the vile job. Ever try climbing down a slippery ladder?

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 06:30 AM

Barry Humphries (Dame Edna) was banned from Quantas. He took a small can of fruit salad and a spoon with him, then proceeded to eat it from the airsick bag.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 05:23 AM

Oh thank you, Spaw... thank you so much.

Dibs on the big chunks.. THAT'S gonna stick in my brain now...

There are three uses for puke that I know of.

1) to make others also barf in sympathy.
2) to cleanse the system of substances detrimental to normal good health.
3) to feed pigeons.

Now you know why I hate pigeons so much.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 05:22 AM

"Here's a little song I wrote
I like to sing it note by note.
Don't worry. Be Happy"

I do believe the singer suicided. Says it all, really.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: gnu
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 05:05 AM

Gee... I just tried to look it up. I could not find it. I found out that Sea Cucumbers puke their innards out when threatened, but, according to what I read, not squid. They do the ink thing only.

My apologies.

But, if ya ever go squid jiggin, ya might catch a few that... nevermind.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: gnu
Date: 20 Dec 07 - 04:53 AM

I recall... blow chunks, toss yer cookies, technicolour yawn (Becca reminded me), making a call on the great white telephone, heave... in residence at Uni, we had a "Woof of the Week" award prominently displayed, with pics sometimes. (To remove it was a cardianl sin.)

My own (near as I know)... doin the John yawn, feedin the dog, he was talkin ta god last night, Blairin (per Linda in "The Exorcist"), terfin surf, squidin (ye landlockers might hafta look that one up).

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 09:50 PM

At the risk of screwing up whatever is left of your miserable lives, I relate this tale which you will always remember. No need to thank me.

I'm about 12 and at church summer camp, a two week summer ritual from the time I was 10 til I was 17. Tommy Young is sitting across from me at lunch and when some kid says something about the food making him want to blow lunch, Tommy uttered the words that flash into my mind EVERYTIME I have prayed to the porcelain god for the past 47 gawddamn years:

"I got dibs on the big chunks!"

I saw Tommy about 5 years back, first time since we graduated from high school. First thing I did was call him a sunnavabitch for that remark so many years before. He was impressed he'd had so much effect on my life..LOL

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 09:29 PM

If it weren't for puke it would be exceedingly difficult to describe the flavor of a mango or papaya.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 09:03 PM

The value of puke:

It cleans out your system.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: john f weldon
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 08:42 PM

Um... ...when we were talking about piss, there were many and interesting actual uses for piss. For example, it works well for potters when wedging clay.

But, I haven't seen a lot of truly practical uses for puke.

is it possible that this substance is actually without value? Can anything be truly valueless? Help me, oh wise ones of Mudcat! Everything must have some sweet virtue!

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 08:05 PM

Once, after a bachelor party, a friend recalled that a certain young man had gotten so drunk he had "almost lost his Chinese". My first thought was that losing the ability to speak Chinese was an odd & unlikely effect of alcohol, but it turned out to refer to the Chinese takeout food that had been provided.

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: bobad
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 07:48 PM

"Is anyone interested in starting a Mudcat Singalong and Projectile Vomiting Group?"

Okay everyone get into a circle and a one and a two........

Subject: RE: BS: Puke--thoughts needed, good or bad.
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Dec 07 - 07:29 PM

Is anyone interested in starting a Mudcat Singalong and Projectile Vomiting Group?

NO.

But some songs make me wanna throw up, like

"Here's a little song I wrote
I like to sing it note by note.
Don't worry. Be Happy"

-snip-

And there's

"When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob-Bob Bobbin' Along
When the red, red robin comes bob, bob, bobbin' along, along
There'll be no more sobbin' when he starts throbbin' his old sweet song
Wake up, wake up you sleepy head
Get up, get out of your bed
Cheer up, cheer up the sun is red
Live, love, laugh and be happy..."

-snip-

What do these two songs have in common?

Barfibility

I hate it when people tell me I have to be happy!