BS: WTF??? I once...

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: gnu
Date: 16 Nov 12 - 04:30 PM

Well! I GOT one that wasn't "once"! It was just now! I smoke and a tiny piece of cigarette ash fell on the keyboard as I was typing. I typed an 'I' and in the next work I typed an 'i' and then... I couldn't find the 'i' for the next word. It disappeared! That's when I realized I had two 'j's on my keyboard.

Well, *I* think it qualifies.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 15 Nov 12 - 03:58 PM

I heard about a NEWLYWED COUPLE WHO DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ky JELLY AND GLAZING COMPOUND.

All of their windows fell out.
damn capslock

When I was a boy, 70 years ago, there was an old man who suffered with hemorrhoids. He had an ointment but once he grabbed Musterole in the dark and had to sit in the brook all night.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: bobad
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 04:53 PM

Bill, that was a prank we would play at a small boarding school I attended. Take someone's toothpaste tube and squeeze Brylcreem into it and watch with wicked anticipation as the unsuspecting dupe brushed his teeth at 6 o'clock in the morning. Needless to say his reaction triggered much merriment.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 04:53 PM

Sex on the beach - sand does get into everything. ;)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 04:46 PM

All these stories makes my mistake of brushing my teeth with Brylcreem kinda insignificant.

(I was 12, and traveling with my mother to visit relatives, and 'things' were not in their usual places)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Don Firth
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 03:38 PM

Hal Frink, who at the time was in the Sea Scouts, didn't have quite that much fun!

Okay, this didn't happen to me directly, but I witnessed it.

I'm sixteen years old and in the Boy Scouts. I'm spending two weeks, along with about 1,500 other scouts at Camp Parsons, out on the shores of Hood Canal, an off-shoot of Puget Sound. In the second week of the stay, the camp had all kinds of four-day hikes and such into the Olympic Mountains and the forests in the surrounding area. Since I had to lumber around on crutches, I wasn't up for the hikes, but the Sea Scout segment had a four day cruise up and down the canal, sight-seeing, camping on the beach and such.

They had two 26 foot lifeboats (CLICKY) that someone had donated to the camp. They had been fitted with masts and sails, but in case of lack of adequate wind, the boats were propelled by the scouts themselves, galley slave style, eight oarsmen per boat, four to a side. I had strong arms and lots of endurance, so the cruise was a good deal for me.

During the next couple of days we went into the south end of the canal, to Twanoh State Park, camped overnight, then headed back north again. But on the trip north, the wind and tide were against us most of the way, so by the end of the fourth day, we hadn't made it all the way back to Camp Parsons as planned. So we pulled into the beach at Camp Robbinswold—a Girl Scout camp similar to Camp Parsons. And our skipper, Hal Frink (18 year-old Eagle Scout), wanted to telephone Camp Parsons to let them know that, even though we were overdue, we were okay. And to check with the Robbinswold camp counselors to see if they would mind if we camped out on the beach there overnight.

The Girl Scout camp counselor agreed. But rather than the beach, she wanted us to stay on the camp's archery range (!!)—where they could keep an eye on us? With the stipulation that by 7:00 a.m. when the girls woke up and would be crossing the archery range to the camp's mess hall for breakfast, we be up and out of there.

Captain Frink had an alarm clock with him, which he set for 6:30 a.m.

But when about 7:00 a.m. came around, we were all still in our sleeping bags, groggily waking up—and still on the archery range! The alarm clock hadn't gone off!

We all started to get dressed quickly, get our sleeping bags rolled up, and get the heck out of there. But when the girls started streaming out of the dorms, most of us were barely up and dressed. We dove back into our sleeping bags and waited until the girls, all giving us the fish-eye, had gone past and were safely chowing down in the mess hall.

But the skipper! He'd made a major boo-boo. He climbed out of his sleeping bag and put on his tennis shoes and cap. Other than that, he was clad only in his jockey shorts and wrist watch. And next— he rolled up his sleeping bag! At which point, the girls started across the archery range! No sleeping bag he could quickly dive into!

The skipper looked to the right. He looked to the left. He made up his mind and made a mad dash for one of the archery targets, diving over it in a semi-naked ballistic arc, and landed with a crash in the underbrush behind the target.

The rest of us finished pulling on our clothes, rolled up our sleeping bags, and prepared to head down to the beach to fix breakfast. But some of us went over to the target to see what had become of Skipper Frink.

We found him wrestling with the shrubbery, particularly trying to extricate himself from a vine he had become entangled in. Most of us recognized the vine.

Poison ivy!!

Poor Skipper! For the next twenty or so miles back up the Canal, he alternated hands, one on the tiller and the other busily scratching, until he could make it to the Camp Parsons infirmary and hopefully get some relief from his misery.

I think if anyone had had the bad taste to laugh out loud, or even look like he was about to smirk, the Skipper would have hanged him from the yardarm.

If we'd had a yardarm.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 01:50 PM

I heard about two people who decided to slip out of a drunken party at night and go have sex naked in the woods nearby. The place they picked was a large poison ivy patch! Needless to say, they suffered the tortures of the damned for weeks afterwards.

Who were these two people? Well, basically they were people a lot like Shane McBride and his brother Don and the various women they hang out with...or more accurately...the women Don hangs out with. Same basic approach and lifestyle. It's the kind of thing that could very easily happen to Shane if he found any female who was willing to have a "quickie" with him in the woods...but he hasn't yet. He's been lucky...sort of. Depends on how you look at it.

Would Shane check for poison ivy first in a situation like that? "No flippin' way, man!" He worries about the details later.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 01:39 PM

I found that out the hard way too, bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 08:49 AM

BTW, poison ivy leaves don't make for good outdoor toilet paper...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Gurney
Date: 14 Nov 12 - 12:36 AM

Well, I went for a pee after driving the company forkhoist, -I'm a pointer, not a setter- and washed my hands afterwards.
That wasn't the best order of process.
Turned out that the guy before me had been using a caustic, which didn't bother the thicker skin on my hands.
It didn't leave scars, except on my memory.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:53 PM

You woulda been handy back when they were buildin' the pyramids, Joanne.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:34 PM

I could use some of that dirt... Do you deliver???

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:25 PM

Cubic yards & cubic feet?

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: CupOfTea
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 05:18 PM

The summer after my husband died I was trying to revive my "superwoman" title by building a raised bed along my driveway. The garage was being torn down and new one rebuilt during the same time I was doing this.

I ordered the railroad ties to make the bed: 4x24 feet, three rails high, three rails long and half a rail deep. A neighbor helped me hand saw the end rails & then I went about drilling holes for the anchoring steel rods.

Day 1 -Burned out one drill with a long handled spade bit drilling about 3 holes.
Day 2 -Went to a tool rental and rented a jackhammer - like industrial drill
Burned that out with the spade bit too- after another 8 or 9 holes.
Day 3 - Went to rent another industrial drill.

Construction workers watched all this with amusement & when I came back with the second rental drill, they presented me with the loan of a HUGE drill bit that was big enough 'round and long enough for all three layers. It took me about 3 hours with that drill bit to do more holes than it had taken me three days to do with the other drills & spade bit.

So, then came the dirt delivery.
Dump truck backs up in the drive way and out comes the lovely dark topsoil.
HUGE pile - but, WAY bigger than I thought it would be. Neighbors are watching from the back porch next door. Builders are watching from the roof frame of the new garage. As I'm puzzling out why this looks like so much, the truck cranks up the REST of the way and dumps the REST of the load! There is now a pile that tapers to a tiny point that is on a level with my eyes. Neighbors are laughing so hard they're holding their sides, the carpenters are trying not to fall off the garage roof.

Math has never been my strong suit. I ordered square YARDS of dirt instead of square FEET. Neighbors, bless their soul, came over chuckling, but also bringing a roller & helped me build a ramp to get the roller in the bed & rolled the dirt down as I filled the bed.

There was STILL alot left over.
So, I invited neighbors to come and help themselves. I had a party planned in my back yard as part of my 10 year High School Reunion in a matter of 5 days and needed the dirt OUT of there. A fellow from a few houses down came and hauled away quite a bit. Being a new gardener, I missed the import of him putting the dirt through a grate/sieve before hauling it away - leaving me all the rocks.

Never got a thing from him in return - not even one overgrown zucchini.

Joanne in Cleveland (who still is more literate than numerate)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 03:55 PM

gnu A story of what goes in the corporate trash does not compare with what goes in your dad's mouth.

At a AW roadside stand we used to make frosty green mint milkshakes with two shots of tobasco sauce for a shocking practical joke.

One co worker gave his dad on of those mint frosties over the counter and he actually gulped it down out of pure thirst. 10 seconds later was the demarkation of the time the father trusted his son to the time he never trusted him again.

Dad's stomachs and throats are serious things. Afterall its the way to thier heart.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 03:29 PM

Kinda makes my Johnny Cake story suck, Don.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 02:26 PM

For a summer job in the 60's I worked at IBM in the Endicott Branch that worked with NASA for the moon shot along with the Owego plant that made the guidance systems. My job was to program the 12 foot tall 18 foot long component insertion machine to put transistors capacitors and resistors in the right slot holes in the right circuit boards that had been coated in pure gold wherever the circuits went and connections were made. One night it looked like the machine was already programmed with the right components and everything as though the previous worker had not had time to merely turn it on and let it run.

I switched it on and let the huge 2 hour production run begin. Well it only looked correct in that for the first two components were right but everything else was wrong.
I ended up micro cracking a quarter million dollars worth of gold circuit boards with the wring components in the wrong locations.

I wasn't fired but I was punished by having to remove each element by hand and stack them separately. Being artistic I sort of made a mural of the various removed multi colored components in a vast display of stars galaxies and rocket ships zooming though the milky way theme mural on the enormous work bench.

The supervisor passed by and saw the quarter million dollar mural (in todays money) that I had made as I smilingly tooled away with my pliers yanking out components from thousands of broken gold circuit boards. He withheld his urge to kill me on the spot at his own peril. He was so upset he went home early knowing that his contract bonus had taken the form of a child like rocket ship painting made entirely of computer parts.

Later in life I recovered 25 pounds of new circuit parts and elements for a discarded gas mass spectrometer instrument and turned it into a mural reminiscent of those early days at IBM.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 02:25 PM

When I was 13, Mum went back to work. It was my job to cook after school and have a hot meal on the table when my parents got home from work.

Simple meals. But, one day, I thought... Johhny Cake and sausages would be a great surprise. Grabbed Mum's recipe box and I went to town. Smelled GREAT! Dad was actually excited and I was beaming with pride! He slathered the cake with butter and dug in.

His facial expressions went from hmmm to huh? to that's awful, whereupon he spat it onto the plate and his expression turned to that of quick Irish temper and kick in the arse time as he looked at me and asked, "What the fuck is that?"

Mum took a taste and asked me to recount my cooking She knew immediately that I had not used baking powder. Baking soda just don't do it fer Corn Bread.

There were actually two dumb moves there. Mine... and Dad's. She made him go out to get fish & chips for supper.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 01:06 PM

That grabbing the wrong thing in the dark happened to a fellah I was with one time. He grabbed the sunblock and applied it to his John Thomas. We did not get much satisfaction that night! I figure that must happen often to guys as they only have enough blood for one brain to work and it's not the upper one they use.**BG**

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Rog Peek
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:33 PM

Once driving through a village in Ireland, I looked out of the drivers-side window as I was brakng, to see the trailer I had been towing now overtaking me. In the end all ended well, but gave me a real fright at the time.

Rog

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:20 PM

First few months up in Scotland, aged seventeen, took a student job one Easter in Littlewoods, Edinburgh, at the children's clothes counter. Didn't twig that Scottish Currency had different colours for the notes. (Each Bank has its own colour-schemes in Scotland) Was merrily giving change for a ten-pound note when presented with a pound-note. (This was before pound coins) Very pleased to have lots of customers at my counter. Supervisor eventually came over to investigate the sudden popularity and all hell let loose. I wasn't sacked but was transferred to the staff kitchen for the rest of the Easter hols. There I managed to put far too much artificial cream in the beating machine and there was foam all over the place oozing out under the door. That's when I WAS sacked!

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Midchuck
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 11:42 AM

Went to law school instead of running away to Nashville to become a Country star.

P.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 11:38 AM

I was born suspect. I was an abortion that survived.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 11:31 AM

If I was to start postin' here, I could go on for days.

If Shane was to start postin' here, he'd hafta tell you about his entire life!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:49 AM

Never confuse Compound W for Preparation H.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:48 AM

Never confuse Compound W, for

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:48 AM

Bobert you lyin sack of gossip instigator!?

You have yet to tell us of a single one of YOUR indictable, unitelligible or irreconcilable offenses.

There are websites where people are asked to confess and do.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:33 AM

Borrowed a friend's vacuum with a beater attachment for (oh dear) shag carpets. Cat hair got tangled in the beater brush and without thinking or turning off the vac, I stuck my hand in and freed it.
Had to get to the wall and unplug it to free my badly bruised fingers, hand and arm - all a lovely shade of bluish purple. Nothing broken tho I don't know how.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Newport Boy
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:32 AM

I did have one near miss. When we were first married, we had a first-floor flat in a Victorian semi-detached in Newport. Anne's family were coming to visit and 15 minutes before they were due, she suddenly found that the front bay window was dirty.

No time to get hold of a ladder, but this was a sash window where you can clean 90% of the outside from the inside. This leaves a small strip at the top of the lower sash. That had to be clean as well, so I got out on the sill and squatted down with my fingers curled under the bottom rail of the top sash.

Now all that was needed was someone to gently lower the bottom sash to within an inch of my fingers, and I would be able to reach the last bit.

Unfortunately, Anne's 19-year-old cousin was in the room, jumped up and brought the sash down very smartly, dislodging my fingers.

I felt myself falling backwards (with a concrete yard below) and held on to the surface of the glass - well I can't think of anything else I could have held.

Fortunately, his reactions were quick and when he saw my horrified (terrified?) face he whipped the sash back up and grabbed my arms.

Back flip diving off a 15 foot board onto concrete wasn't a good idea.

Oh- the rest of the sashes were allowed to remain with a dirty strip!

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: olddude
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:30 AM

drunk is an excuse, mine is just not looking and stupid stuff. Like the time I wrote the song about eating green chicken from the back of the fridge ... that was another story also

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:27 AM

I once thought I had made a mistake....but I was wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Newport Boy
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:10 AM

You're wrong, Bee-dubya-ell, the stupid thing you did while sober was getting drunk!

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 10:00 AM

I've never done anything stupid while sober, and one of the side effects of doing stupid shit while drunk is that you don't remember doing it. I guess I have nothing to add to this thread, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: olddude
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 09:50 AM

Well my latest was grabbing the arthritis cream and thinking it was toothpaste. Dang gums burned for 2 days ... I am a master at pain through complete stupidity.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Newport Boy
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 05:19 AM

Late one evening in 1959, Anne & I drove from Newport to London in a new Morris 1000. In those days it was 150 miles and took at least 4 hours. I had a 32" waist then, and always pulled my belt tight to show of my figure - the vanity of youth!

After an hour, I felt a bit restricted, so I undid the belt and the top button. A while later, we pulled into the filling station at Northleach for fuel. I got out and stumbled over my trousers, which were round my ankles - the zip on that pair was never very good.

Anne was still laughing when I got back in the car after filling up.

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 04:32 AM

iodine!!

sandra (using her very good memory)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 04:31 AM

one dark night my father picked up something that stung badly instead of his eye-drops.

I can't remember what it was but it was something definitely not appropriate to use in eyes

moral of the story was given above - turn the light on beforehand

sandra (having a senior moment)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 03:26 AM

Whilst a cop, I had a bout of competition boxing with a cop from a different country. I hit him once and dislocated his jaw. He was in so much pain... I decided not to box competitively again.... perhaps only because the same thing could happen to me... coward or what???

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Henry Krinkle
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 03:10 AM

I shot a man in Reno.
Just to watch him die.
=(:-( P)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 03:02 AM

...
Dropped trou mid-crosswalk, noon rush hour, downtown Boston, LgMAO.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 12 - 12:12 AM

Hmmm.

Okay...I had this girlfriend back in the 1980s. We had a very active sex life for a few hectic years there, and sometimes we found a tube of transparent lubricant handy at certain moments. I would apply said lubricant to her...you know...and we would proceed, as it were. Not that this was always necessary, mind you...but sometimes...

I might mention I was also using condoms at the time...I didn't want her to possibly mess up her health with "the pill" or anything else like that, so I took care of the "protection"...and very faithfully too.

Well, anyway, one night I went to get the tube of lubricant. Lights were out. I came back, squeezed some of that stuff out of the tube, applied it to her, and we proceeded...

And she said after a moment or two, "That's strange..."

I said, "What?"

She said, "It feels really cold...."

"It feels cold????....what the...???"

I got out of bed, turned the light on, and discovered that I had mistaken a tube of Crest toothpaste for the tube of "marital aid" lubricant! (I can't remember what the stuff was officially called, but that's what its purpose was.)

Well, that was a WTF moment if ever there was one! It didn't cause her any damage, fortunately, and we subsided into helpless laughter once we got over the initial shock.

Don't do this! Always put the lights on first when reaching for a tube of anything for any purpose whatsoever. God knows what could happen if you don't. Damn good thing it was not a tube of Ben-Gay!

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 10:47 PM

Great story, beer...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Beer
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 10:44 PM

don't regret it.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Beer
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 10:41 PM

Here is a small clip out of my book of memories.

a very good friend of mine left Montreal to move back to Nova Scotia. Me buddy and I were down(depressed) and putting back a case of 24. Well around 11 p.m he and I decide we would call our wives(both on the night shift)and tell them we were going to N.S. for five or six days. Permission granted, we decided to take a short cut through the States and get there before them. Well somewhere in Maine I was needing to go, so we pulled off at a gas station that was closed and I proceeded to relieve myself up against a building. There was a tap, tap on my shoulder and here was the biggest cop I had ever seen. He said " Do you know it is against the law to urinate on public property." I said that he was probably correct but at this time in the morning everything was closed and I had to go. Don't remember how we parted but everything went O.K.
I then took over driving and got stopped about 20 minutes later. Cop comes aasksk's for my drivers permit. I hand it to him and he says where are you going (this was around 4 in the morning), N.S. I tell him.. "Have a safe trip" I thank him and off we go.
I'm 6 foot. No permit to drive, case of 24 open in the back seat and my buddy who passed over his permit to me is about 5 feet.
Those were the times. Crazy, and dangerous as well.
A short story of something I shouldn't have done. But I regretegreat it.
Adrien

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 10:18 PM

Man, this is gettin' good...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 10:08 PM

This didn't happen to me, fortunately. Never had the problem (thank God!).

But I knew a guy who said he'd just had a hemorrhoid operation, and afterward, his doctor gave him a tube of soothing ointment. He got up in the middle of the night with a need to relieve himself. After he'd cleaned up, he reached behind him in his half-asleep state for the tube of ointment.

He got the tube of Ben Gay by mistake.

He said he woke up quite quickly!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 10:04 PM

Well, a few, for real, as a kid I stupidly:

Ran in front of a neighbour cutting long grass with a scythe and got cut accross my stomach - still have the scars on my belly.

Put my hand in the hinge side of a gravel truck door, and felt the pain when the driver tried to close it, and then tried to open it when I cried out-for a double pain whammy. Still have the scars on my hand and knuckles.

Jumped off the back of a moving pick-up truck, when the driver forgot to stop and let me off. I rolled, rolled and rolled on the side of the road and into the ditch to reap cuts and bruises from a stupid move. Have some marks from it on my bones, that seem to show up on XRays.

Went in the water away from my brothers and sisters who were swimming. I couldn't swim, so I breathed in water and stopped breathing for a few minutes until I was rescued and resusitated by a person trained in Red Cross Water rescue. I remain timid when emersed in in deep water.

As a young adult, cut into a dangling electrical wire in a house wall with pliers. Trouble was it was live and I was zapped a bit, until the circuit breaker cut off the line power.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 09:48 PM

I once mistook window putty for vaseline.

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 09:45 PM

Lord looks after fools, kids and drunks, f-prince... Me thinks you got triple coverage...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: WTF??? I once...
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Nov 12 - 09:43 PM

...had a '72 Carolla, that weighed no more than about 1800 lbs. It came with a scissors jack, with threads that looked like something on a heavy duty vise; plenty strong enough to hold up the car while I worked on the struts. Slid out from under, and at the very moment I got clear, the threads peeled like butter and the car came down. Waited a bit for my heart to get down back out of my throat.