Will old beer adverts become folksongs?

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: gnomad
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 05:26 AM

Another from the John Smiths bow-wow stable-

"Magnetize yourself with a Magnet.¬
Magnetize yourself with a Magnet.¬
If you take a glass or two,
It will cheer you through and through,
And they generally call it mag-net-izing."

¬ is a dee-dah blast on a trombone, and if memory serves the whole was repeated several times. I have vague recollection of shots of someone being picked up by a crane by means of a giant horseshoe 'magnet', also of someone juggling using club-sized horseshoe 'magnets'. Yeah, John Smiths still use the magnet symbol on their cans and (I think) also on their pumps.

Power of advertising, eh? We didn't even have a TV until some dozen years after these adds that I remember, so this is all from the relatively short exposure I got when visiting friends.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 05:12 AM

Brian - Well remembered:-)

And Nigel - I had forgotton about the beer that mustn't be spoonerised :-) You are spot of course!

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 04:51 AM

Whitbread also parodied Percy French's Abdul The Bulbul Emir:

Whitbread Best Bitter advert, 1982

Now stories are told of a brave man of old
Whose interest was Whitbread best beer
But he new a klutz who drove him nearly nuts
That was Abdul the Bulbul Amir

Now that snake in the grass was a pain in the neck
Claiming Whitbread tastes best from the jar,
And this man most irate, with his own glass quite straight
Was Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

Well those boastful old goats went out canvassing votes
But one thing they both did forget,
Be it straight glass or jar, Whitbread's not particular,
'Cos the best "Best" needs no etiquette.


They did another advert in the same vein where Abdul & The Count argue about whether to drink in the snug (with the ladies) or in the bar.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 04:38 AM

Dave:
Good thread, but ...
It's a big-head bitter, Trophy bitter
The best that you ever bought
Whitbread, big-head, Trophy bitter
The pint that thinks it's a quart!

It was followed up with the 'How do you do it Stanley?' campaign which was nowhere near as good.

'Stanley' was not a follow-up. It advertised Whitbread's slightly more expensive bitter "Whitbread Tankard"
"How do you do it Stanley?"
"It's Tankard that helps me excell,
After one I do anything well!"

Cheers
Nigel

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Will Fly
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 04:23 AM

"Mann's is the best brown ale, best brown, best brown ale,
"Mann's is the best brown ale, let's buy some now!"

"Guinne-ess is good for you!"

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Brian Peters
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 04:10 AM

Oh, and...

"Magnetize yourself with a Magnet
The strength is surprising in a Magnet
If you're looking for a brew
That's strong enough for you
Try the magnetizing Magnet Ale"

(Tune: 'Daddy wouldn't buy me a Bow-wow)

I presume this was a John Smith's product.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Brian Peters
Date: 08 Jan 13 - 03:59 AM

Then there were:

'Do yourself a power of good, ask for a Manns' (bottled brown ale), to the tune of 'Lieber Augustin'

'Go for a Bull's Eye Brown' (Greenall Whitley bottled beer) to the tune of 'Oh Susannah'...
"If you want to get your whistle wet, go for a Bull's Eye Brown."

I'm sure there was a Mackeson song as well.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 08:41 PM

Gallus Moll beat me to it there: it was Frankie Miler's version of Dougie's song that did it: but is it no back on agin the noo?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZrdo1PuUvQ

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 07:06 PM

Some folksogns become beer / lager adverts however - Tennents Caledonian used Dougie McLean's 'Caledonia' a few years ago to great effect; don't believe it was shown in England tho I think it is available on youtube -- memorable advert!

(Adam MacNaughtion's 'Jeely Piece Song/Skyscraper Wean' was used by Milanda Bread

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 06:57 PM

I wonder if "Nottingham Ale" was the original beer advert :-)

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: gnomad
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 06:27 PM

Sir Roger's quote up above also appears with other breweries mentioned (Batemans being one such). Additional verses, XXX being your choice of brewery:

If your bath and washbasin are both far from white,
And your lavatory too is a terrible sight, (Alt; ..all covered with shite)
When the Domestos and Harpic both fail,
Just flush down a gallon of XXX best ale.

If you have no children, and your wife wants six,
And you've tried and you've tried all the usual tricks,
Go down to an alehouse, take with you a pail,
And sup down a bucket of XXX best ale.

I also have childhood memories of a shot of beer being rolled into a pub in wooden barrels to a song:

Beer, beer, beer from the barrel,
Stones' beer is a good strong beer,
Let's have a cheer,
'Cause it's beer from the barrel.

I assume it was some sort of campaign against new-fangled metal barrels, or possibly keg and/or top pressure systems. I was too young to know about such stuff at the time.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 03:45 PM

It's hard to think of any beer that would be as appropriate to Fawlty Towers as Watney's Red.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 03:28 PM

(Guest was me fB)Thankyou DtG. As soon as I posted I remembered the 'proper' tune. I believe Chas and Dave did a few Courage advert tunes.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 03:20 PM

Double Diamond! Aye that was the other stuff. Just found this gem of a site that reminded me it was to 'There's a hole in my bucket'

Some grand reminisces in there too. I'm off to the folk club but will enjoy it later

DtG

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 03:00 PM

"A Double Diamond Works Wonders" sounds like another tune. Probably when somebody tells me which tune I'll say "Of course".

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: 12-stringer
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 02:49 PM

Drink Falls City Beer, it gives you more
Drink City, Falls City
It's got what you're looking for
Drink City, Falls City
More fun, more flavor, more quality
It's pasteurized and bitter-free
Drink City, Falls City Beer, yes indeed

To the tune of "How Many Biscuits Can You Eat" and performed with banjo by David "Stringbean" Akeman. In my drinking days, I was a Falls City consumer (if nothing 80 proof+ was available, of course), and this song is still trad in my house. Falls City went under in the late 70s, after an ill-advised launch of "Billy Beer," named for the (his 15 minutes had already expired but neither he nor Falls City were yet aware of it) brother of Jimmy Carter.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 02:09 PM

As a callow youth of 18 I remember the Meggies singing a hymn to the late lamented Hewitt's Ales of Grimsby. Possibly written by John Conolly and/or Bill Meek. It was sung to the tune of the threshing machine and went something like:

I once was a weakling of 7 stone 10
I daren't take me shirt of before other men
I wrote to Charles Atlas and told him me tale
He sent me a crate full of Hewitt's best ale

Chorus

It won't fail, it can't fail that ubiquitous liquid called Hewitt's best ale.

My brother had trouble with marital bliss
Each night in the bedroom not even a kiss
Now his wife's fierce embraces they turn him quite pale
He washed his pyjamas in Hewitt's best ale.

Ch

If your natural functions are proving a strain
And you've been to the doctor again and again
When the syrup of figs and the senna pods fail
try just half a teaspoon of Hewitt's best ale

ch

Forgive my failing memory for any remaining verses or the versimilitude of those quoted.

Roger

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 01:09 PM

Ahhhh - Of course. Had to have been a London Brew. Thanks Will.

Good point, Steve! :-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:59 PM

It's obviously already happened!

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Will Fly
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:29 PM

Dunno if i saw that, Will. I Remember the song but don't relate it to a beer advert. What was it advertising?

Courage Best!

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:23 PM

to the tune of 'Cushie Butterfield'

If you want a beer that's perfection indeed
I'll give you a guide to fulfilling your need.
At home by your fireside, in club or in bar
The sign of good taste is the famous blue star..

It's the strong beer, it's the bottled beer
With the north's biggest sale
For complete satisfaction
Newcastle Brown Ale...

that was sung on a Tyne Tees TV advert by Owen Brannigan in the 60s- the beer was OK then, unlike the crap sold under that name nowadays!

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:22 PM

Dunno if i saw that, Will. I Remember the song but don't relate it to a beer advert. What was it advertising?

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: GUEST,John Foxen
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:21 PM

Thankfully for me the these songs have remained as unmemorable as the "beers" they tried to sell.
However, let us remember with gratitude for the song and the beer the wonderful Keith Marsden's hymn to Old Peculier.
Mudcat old peculier thread

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: GUEST,Fred McCormick
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:20 PM

Ye Gods! I hope not. I've been watching the new re-run of Fawlty Towers and I still have conniption fits every time I see they're serving Watneys Red in the bar.

Mind you. I've heard it suggested that Ewan MacColl probably wrote the Drinking Song after watching one of those damned Watneys Red adverts.

Subject: RE: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Will Fly
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:18 PM

Chas'n Dave singing "Gertcha!"?

Subject: Will old beer adverts become folksongs?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:07 PM

I remember (with the occasional waking up in cold sweats) the beer campaigns of the 60s and 70s when the big breweries were trying, unsucessfuly, to fight CAMRA and fool the populace into believeing their pseudo-foamy-mouuthwash stuff was beer.

Now, don't get me wrong here, the beer was awful but some of the campigns were quite menorable. Who remebers

It's a big-head bitter, Trophy bitter
The best that you ever bought
Whitbread, big-head, Trophy bitter
The pint that thinks it's a quart!

It was followed up with the 'How do you do it Stanley?' campaign which was nowhere near as good.

The worst of the lot, arguably, was Watneys Red Barrel, but there adverts to the tune of the Beer Barrel Polka were quite classic but I only remember bits of it - Can anyone else remember it? I could look it up of course but whwere's the fun it that ? :-)

One that was probably just local to us, North West England, Was Greenhall Whitleys

"I wish I was in Greenhall Whitley Land" adverts which really were quite tunefull and well sung by an unaccomapnied singer. Anyone else remember those?

Or does anyone have anything else they want to share?

Cheers

DtG