BS: who will be next pope

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 09:38 PM

I can't say I believe much in anything that attempts to foretell the future, but Wikipedia has an interesting article on the Prophecy of the Popes. The prophecy is attributed to St. Malachy of Ireland (1094-1148). It was published in 1595, after it was allegedly found in the Roman Archives. The list is amazingly accurate up to 1590, but its predictions after 1590 are a bit of a stretch. Ex post facto predictions usually have a high degree of accuracy.....

Duh.


-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: gnu
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 08:58 PM

Don Cherry is a snappy dresser and a bit more conservative in deportment so... Pope Don?

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Elmore
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 07:56 PM

John xxiv.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: gnu
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 07:08 PM

The "frontrunner" as reported by some news sources is a black African... sounds like a cool dude to me. Talked to a relative earlier today and he said no way an African black man could get the nod... odd... pisses me off. But I didn't say that to him.

The only thing that matters is "goodness", right? Well, if that's the case, I am pretty sure the Canuck cited as in the top picks in the draft can skate and double up on defense so as long as The Cherry says he's the guy to lace up, I am pullin for him.

GO HABits!

Keep yer stick on the ice eh?

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 06:58 PM

If St. Malachy be accurate, the next pope will either have - or take - the name of Peter. :)

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 06:29 PM

I'd go for Joe Offer personally, he's got all the tick boxes, apart from being old (in cardinals' terms Joe's a sprogling)and vicious (unless Joe confesses that he was once in the McCarthy Youth).

But what does it matter who's Pope if he or she are:

legal - address historical abuse by (or condoned by) the church without holding back
truthful - admit it without reservation
decent- don't do it again.
honest - abolish the Holy Office (inquisition) and open up the archives unredacted.

And of course be open to accept real loving people in the world for what thay are.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Dead Horse
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 04:36 PM

Ian Paisley.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 04:29 PM

Cardinal Turkson comes from Ghana, which is a long way from Uganda. He might or might not have expressed views about that country, but than that applies equally to every cardinal, and indeed everyone.

If A is true than B is possibly true, which means that C is possibly true - and that would be terrible...

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 03:59 PM

Nigerian new cardinal...was nominated for NObel peace prize. I know nothing about him. Will google him tonight. If he is a decent honest man with no desire to kill anyone such as gays and an ability to sort out the mess and has no child abuse problems hidden in the wings..and I suspect Africa is absolutely full of them, as is French Canada by the way...I will totally support him if he is at least a moderate and somewhat sensible about birth control etc.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 03:42 PM

I would love an African pope. I think one mentioned is past the age cutoff. There is one in Nigeria I know nothing about. THis Turkson needs to be totally investigated to see exactly what his support is of the "kill the gays" legislation in Uganda. He has had some defense of it. It is unclear to me exactly what his support is. But we need to see this as a huge warning light..a pope who at least indirectly endorses the killing of gays? It is too early in the game for me to know much so everyone I believe is obligated to search this out for themselves. It can not happen that he be made pope if it is true. Bad enough we had indirect killing of child abuse victims through their subsequent suicide..but direct killing? It is beyond belief.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,Musket sans cookie
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 02:35 PM

2/1 Joe Offer
5/1 An old bloke in a pointy hat
10/1 Shergar

Time to buy shares in Durex regardless

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 02:19 PM

I kinda like Cardinal Sin for Pope.

But I was going to post this nice map of where the cardinals all are and which can vote etc.

I'd like to see a nonwhite pope now that we've had two nonitalians in a row...

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 10:33 AM

As a bonus prize, if you make a cross -> + <- in the first eight numbers called you receive one bonus card that can be used for any letter. If you make an ex -> X <- your card is declared null and void and you're out of the contest.

I'd suggest that the Dalai Lama be the official caller and the Archbishop of Canterbury be given the franchise to sell Nevada tickets.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: selby
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 10:26 AM

I am sorry to have to inform you that unfortunately the post has already been assigned to Tony Blair (ex UK Prime Minister) he is currently in conclave with that well known people person and pacifist George W Bush to take on the role as enforcer,sorry special responsibilities for peace in the world

Keith

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 10:00 AM

It would be cool to decide who the next pope is with a world-wide internet bingo game. Each Catholic receives four bingo cards. There are four games called, one game per card. The purpose is to spell out

P O P E

Sort of like spelling shell on a calculator with the numbers 77345 then turning it upside down and reading it--but different.

The world-wide name that pope bingo player winner [WWNTPBPW] would get to, well, name that pope.

I'm onto something here. Stay tuned . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: The Sandman
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 05:44 AM

how about the cardinal from the phillipines, a possible outsider at 25 to one, generally speaking the bookies have it right and one need look no further than the first 3 or 4 in the betting.
scola turkson oulet, bertone, now paddy power are offering "If the cardinals elect the First Black Pope, we will refund all losing bets on the Next Pope market", Applies to single outright bets placed before 12.00pm Monday 18th Feb.

Max Refund e/£25 per customer/bet.

Applies to the next permanently appointed Pope after Benedict XVI

Only applies in the case of Peter Turkson, Francis Arinze and Wilfred Napier.

Refund applies to the Next Pope Outright market only, does not apply to any other related markets.

Paddy Power betting rules apply and Paddy Power s decision is final,         
does that meanthey think it will be turkson?

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 01:59 AM

Recession is biting at the English language - what used to be worth a King's ransom is now only worth a Pope's pension.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 11:34 PM

I see the Cuban Cardinal Jaime Ortega comes in as 80/1. Might be worth a flutter at those odds. He's been very critical of Capitalism as well as of Communism - and the Miami Cubans appear to detest him. And no reported sex abuse scandals in Cuba so far as I know.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 11:05 PM

do some serious checking of oulette's involvement in abuse scandal and some of the things he has said.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 09:32 PM

checking in and scrolling down, I thought Joe Offer would be a good pope. Then I saw his post and Joe Offer would be the best ever. Too bad he hasn't made it to cardinal. Maybe he could pass his thoughts along to the vatican.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 08:36 PM

This Cardinal Ouelet of Canada, considered one of the frontrunners and the one favored by Benedict XVI - I wonder if we're related. Some of my ancestors are the Ouelettes of Windsor, Ontario. Their farm road became Ouelette Street, one of the main streets of Windsor - and the family farmhouse became a striptease joint, located next door to the bus station.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Bobert
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 08:36 PM

Hey, I like Joe but given the crap that the Catholic church has put so many people thru there is only one individual that I know of that the church truly deserves...































...Pope Chongz...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 08:23 PM

Joe, hopefully SINSULL will watch that. I think she figured out the stuff about nuns already, though.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 08:19 PM

Rodney is a hero of mine.

I went to a whorehouse yesterday at noon. There was s sign on the door. "Gone to lunch. Go fuck yourself."

He fits... hangin out with whores... son of a

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 08:11 PM

And, had he lived, a serious contender given some of the sentiments in this thread....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_Dangerfield

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:59 PM

The world can rest easier knowing that it probably won't be me.
And BTW bobad...Priceless!

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:46 PM

Well, actually, Ebbie, Spaw is going to be Deputy Pope.....just to make things interesting.

Giuseppe Sarducci, Pontifex Maximus

---

My brother Guido had a lot of good things to say. He will be the first person I declare to be a saint.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:42 PM

Cardinal Marc Ouellet is a shoe-in! But, the Italian candidate is a contender.

But this is my choice... Bro of Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:39 PM

Too bad my vote doesn't count, Joe! We need you- or a JoeClone...

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:34 PM

But how do you feel about the job as Queen?

I luvya' JoeBro!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:27 PM

So, Spaw, if I'm elected Pope, I will declare (infallibly, of course), that the official Papal Garb will be blue jeans, a plaid wool shirt (to match my eyes), and a wool tweed Trilby hat.

Service to the poor, the homeless, the infirm, and the bereaved will be the primary religious obligation of every Catholic. Tolerance and respect for all, will be an absolute requirement.

Priests can be anyone (male, female, straight, gay, married - why should gender or sexual preference should have any bearing on selection of priests?) who feels the calling and is judged by a congregation to be a faith-filled person who speaks with wisdom and love and equity. Strict but reasonable controls will be instituted to protect parishioners from sexual offenses and financial chicanery.

Responsible family planning (and artificial birth control) will be encouraged, and Planned Parenthood will be declared an Official Ally of the Catholic Church, because that organization does more than any other to reduce the number of abortions - by reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies.

Divorced and remarried Catholics will be welcomed without restriction, although the ideal of lifetime marriage will be upheld.

Congregations (orders) of religious women (nuns) will be deemed equal in standing to congregations of religious men; and elected leaders of religious congregations will hold status equal to that of Cardinals, with authority to vote in papal elections.

Collaborative, collegial principles will be used in decision-making, as required by the Second Vatican Council.

Alliances will be sought with all religious and non-religious groups who see peace and brotherly love and tolerance as priorities.

Both liberal and conservative Catholics will be encouraged to celebrate liturgy (Mass) as they wish, even in Latin - with the caveat that condemnation of others is not compatible with true Christian faith.

And the prohibition of the condemnation of others, will be viewed as a primary tenet of the faith.

OK, so that's my platform. Vote for me.

Fr. Joe Sarducci (brother of Guido)

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:26 PM

Sinead is a priest and has a lot to say recently. She is a very impressive woman and writes and speaks very well.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:25 PM

"allegedly has ties or has spoken or something"

That's a pretty comprehensive allegation...

I'm surprised no one has yet resurrected the old comment in such matters "Well, I don't know - but I bet it will be one of those Catholics".

It seems be generally understood that anyone who is hyped up as a favourite has very little likelihood of being chosen.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 05:41 PM

(From the God actors, you can separate out those who are deceased, unless you have good Godly contacts) :)

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: greg stephens
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 05:39 PM

Bear in mind that St Malachy prophesied that the next pope will be the last

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 05:38 PM

"who will be next pope?"

Sounds like a good idea for the next reality TV program. But, who would be the host and celebrity judges?

Host: Sinéad O'Connor-Irish, formerly RC and entertaining (she will keep anty potential molesters at bay)..

Celebrity Judges:
Why not select from the actors who played "God" in movies (this site says there were 13 of them:

Actor-Gods

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 05:32 PM

Then sign on for Joe #6.....If all of us old timers go with Joe we might be able to puff smoke in the Vatican. Do you ever wonder what they might be smoking?


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: number 6
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 05:19 PM

"who will be next pope?"

hmmmmmm

let me see now



you know something


I really don't give a rat's ass who the next pope will be



biLL

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 05:14 PM

I was all for Joe Offer. He'd make a good Pope. He likes to travel, proud of being Catholic, still knows mass in Latin, likes to wear funny hats, and will look mighty fine in those red Wizard of Oz pumps. What else is required?

But then someone said that Queen Elizabeth might step down/abdicate/retire/whatever ta' fuck she does, in three years so now I'm thinking Joe would be a better Queen. Being a raging Queeen is right up Joe's alley!!!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: mg
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 04:41 PM

We do deserve a pope, one who is honest and able and decent. I am not a spiritual person..I am fairly pragmatic. I was assigned to the Catholic religion and I will stay and fight the corruption and downright evil.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: akenaton
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 04:13 PM

As an atheist, I say why dont you stand up for what you believe in.

It is a belief system based on faith, why do you want to secularise it to keep the media and the politicians happy? If you believe the story get up on your hind legs and tell the world....don't spend the rest of your lives apologising for what you believe in.

You lot dont deserve a Pope! You seem to care more about your personal popularity on an internet forum than your spiritual beliefs.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: mg
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 03:47 PM

I would also say someone who does not prance around in overly ornate costume....simplified versions such as Pope JP i wore, and actually, from pictures I ahve seen, Cardinal Mahoney. I am not against all pomp and tradition..I like it..and am pretty traditional..but google Cardinal Burke and his 20 foot train and wierd gloves etc.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: mg
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 03:44 PM

on schonborn..some intelligent words..could we possibly have a Pope John Paul I do-over...

http://www.thetablet.co.uk/article/14678

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: bobad
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 03:33 PM

This guy?

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 03:28 PM

Considering that we have absolutely no input...

I may be the worst of iconoclasts but the pope is of no more consequence to me than any other human in the world - unless they should happen to choose one who actually makes a difference - who makes declarations that bring about peace and justice for all.

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: mg
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 03:24 PM

We must especially scrutinize the front runners for their abettment of child abusers..see Oulette..I think he is not totally clean..and also for any outcries against gays..Turkson allegedly has ties or has spoken or something about the African desire not just to forbid gays to marry..but to kill them. I do not want a pope who wants to kill gays or looks the other way when this is done, and I suppose, given everything else, it is being done.

I would like to have someone from developing world...but first and foremost he or she must be decent and honest. Archbishop Martin seems the best of the lot. I do not know enough about Schoenberg but he has taken on the pope and Sodano..whom Jason Barry has asked to be removed as the pope's last act.

I think knowing what I know right now Schoenberg seems the best plus Martin should be made cardinal this week. I wish we had a pope Sean O'Malley just for his name but I do not think he is clean in the abuse situation..I think almost none of them are frankly.

SNAP has told the world to watch for 3 cardinals who should not be made pope..one is in new york, one in honduras and one in Mexico.

Now is not the time to sit idly by, whether Catholic or whatever...now is the time to insist on decency first and foremost..adherence to the law, truthfulness, honesty in financial dealings..

Subject: RE: BS: who will be next pope
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 02:48 PM

I always thought Cardinal Jaime Sin of Manila would be a good choice -- a Cardinal Sin for Pope.

I'm in the running, but I want to continue married and not a priest, etc. The odds on me aren't very good.

Subject: BS: who will be next pope
From: The Sandman
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 02:34 PM

Angelo Scola (Italy)         7/2
        
Cardinal Raymond Burke (United States)         40/1
        
Cardinal Thomas Collins (Canada)         80/1
Cardinal Peter Turkson (Ghana)         4/1
        
Cardinal Timothy Dolan (USA)         40/1
        
Archbishop Diarmuid Martin         100/1
Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)         4/1
        
Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi (Italy)         50/1
        
Cardinal Angelo Sodano (Italy)         100/1
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)         5/1
        
Cardinal Andre Vingt-Trois(France)         50/1
        
Cardinal William Levada (United States)         100/1
Cardinal Odilo Scherer (Brazil)         8/1
        
Cardinal Robert Sarah (French Guinea)         50/1
        
Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Muller (Germany)         100/1
Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga (Honduras)         10/1
        
Archbishop Vincent Nichols (England)         50/1
        
Cardinal Karl Lehmann (Germany)         100/1
Cardinal Francis Arinze (Nigeria)         10/1
        
Cardinal Philippe Barbarin (France)         50/1
        
Cardinal Ivan Dias (India)         100/1
Cardinal Leonardo Sandri (Argentina)         10/1
        
Cardinal Joao Braz de Aviz (Brazil)         50/1
        
Cardinal Daniel DiNardo (USA)         100/1
Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi (Italy)         12/1
        
Cardinal Donald Wuerl (United States)         50/1
        
Cardinal Silvano Piovanelli (Italy)         100/1
Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco (Italy)         14/1
        
Cardinal Sean O'Malley (United States)         50/1
        
Cardinal Jose Da Cruz Policarpo (Portugal)         100/1
Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle (Philippines)         18/1
        
Cardinal Keith O'Brien (Scotland)         50/1
        
Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor (UK)         150/1
Cardinal Christoph Schonborn (Austria)         20/1
        
Cardinal Wilfrid Napier (South Africa)         66/1
        
Cardinal Walter Kasper (Germany)         150/1
Cardinal Norberto Rivera Carrera (Mexico)         25/1
        
Cardinal Attilio Nicora (Italy)         66/1
        
Cardinal John Njue (Kenya)         150/1
Cardinal Mauro Piacenza (Italy)         33/1
        
Cardinal Crescenzio Sepe (Italy)         66/1
        
Cardinal Geraldo Majella Agnelo (Brazil)         150/1
Cardinal Peter Erdo (Hungary)         33/1
        
Cardinal George Pell (Australia)         66/1
        
Cardinal Giacomo Biffi (Italy)         150/1
Cardinal Claudio Hummes (Brazil)         33/1
        
Cardinal Agnostino Vallini (Italy)         66/1
        
Archbishop Nicolas de Jesus Lopez Rodriguez (Dominican Republic)         150/1
Archbishop Piero Marini (Italy)         33/1
        
Cardinal Julian Herranz Casado (Spain)         80/1
        
Cardinal Francis George (USA)         200/1
Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio (Argentina)         33/1
        
Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela (Spain)         80/1
        
Richard Dawkins (UK)         666/1
Cardinal Albert Malcolm Ranjith (Sri Lanka)         40/1
        
Cardinal Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino (Cuba)         80/1
        
Bono (Ireland)         1000/1
Cardinal Antonio Canizares Llovera (Spain)         40/1
        
Cardinal Angelo Amato (Italy)         80/1
        
Father Dougal Maguire (Craggy Island)         1000/1
Cardinal Juan Luis Cipriani Thorne (Peru)         40/1
        
        
        
        

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