BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!

Subject: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 02:49 PM

Lawmakers in Ohio intend to indict the famous Groundhog and send him to the gas chamber for inaccurate prognostication!!!!!!!! This is shocking news. I could hardly believe it when I saw the headline.

Read it and weep!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 02:59 PM

Dang! Something wrong with the link above. Try this one:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/03/22/ohio-prosecutor-reportedly-seeking-death-penalty-for-punxsutawney-phil/

!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 03:27 PM

Watching Fox News, Little Hawk? Good grief...

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Greg F.
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 05:31 PM

Bad drugs?

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 05:35 PM

No...I simply opened Google News. Google News then showed a whole ton of different headlines from a whole variety of different sources all over the place, everything from CBC to Al Jazeera to BBC to Fox to ABC, etc...I notice one headline about Phil the prognosticating Groundhog...the story is being carried by a variety of 4 or 5 different news sources. I provide a link to the first of those in my first post. The link then fails to work for some reason. I open the next one and provide a link to it, and it does work. The next one came from Fox. Do I give a damn? Not particularly. I don't have to go to the confessional booth or get vaccinated now. I just want to get a link that works, that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 05:47 PM

You need not confess or get vaccinated. But you DO need to do penance. You have your choice of kneeling and saying the Litany of the Saints (the Latin version) 7,500 times OR while wearing sackcloth and ashes and barefoot purchasing and carrying a forty pound candle (lit) to that big fancy basilica or whatever it is in Montreal by walking. Or you could go into the desert and fast on cicadas and water for forty days and forty nights.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 06:00 PM

You think the poor celebrity Groundhog was on drugs when he predicted an early Spring, Greg? Perhaps. He may have needed tranquillizers in order to face all that noise and the crowds around Gobbler's Knob.

Rap - Or I could just raise my middle finger in the general direction of yourself and Mr McGrath... ;-D "Prognosticate THAT!"

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 07:14 PM

As long as he is ruminating and not smoking, Phil's yer uncle.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 08:50 PM

Considering how often human weathermen get it wrong, I don't think we should be too hard on Phil. Besides, he' too cute to execute.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 09:05 PM

I suppose Phil will have to keep on doing it every day till he gets it right.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 09:29 PM

Just to get LH back on track, here's the Punxatawny Phil Indictment News from NBC via USNews.

Remember that LH isn't normally much of a Fox fan and it's possible his weezil dogs brought the article to his attention in the hope that they could be the executioners, bein' as how they're supposed to be pretty good at diggin' out rats and the like.

If that's what happened, then the Hawk may need to apply a little re-education to the pups to get them off the Fox news thing ... ... if he can wake them up long enough to talk to 'em when they're not too busy eatin' to listen.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 09:46 PM

My Dachshunds are in favour of executing ALL rodents...on principle...no trial required! But that's only their opinion, see? No way am I going to stand by while a noble Groundhog like Phil is threatened with extradition and capital punishment. This damn district attorney who is after Phil had better watch his back! Phil has loyal admirers all over North America who are willing to put their own lives on the line to protect him! Hands off the Groundhog, I say!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 10:05 PM

Yummmmm...

Groundhog... The other, other white meat...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Mar 13 - 10:41 PM

You, sir, are what Shane calls a flippin' corkpuller. Hang your head in shame.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 07:01 AM

Eat this LH.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Megan L
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 07:09 AM

Tae heck wie the damned lawmakers can you imagine the earache and grief he is getting from mrs Phill who sent him up to see if it was weather to do the spring cleaning yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 08:50 AM

We don't worry 'bout executin' falsely prognisticatin' groundhogs down here in Floribama on account of we don't have no groundhogs. We have prognisticatin' armadillos instead.

On February Second, the day you northerly folk call Groundhog Day, we release a caged armadillo onto County Road 182. If the armadillo gets run over by the first car that comes along, it means we'll have six more weeks of winter. If the armadillo gets run over by the second car that comes along, it means something else, but nobody's sure what, on account of there's never been a recorded incident of the armadillo not being hit by the first car. This system saves us lots of money in court costs and legal fees since any armadillo who got the prediction wrong has been buzzard bait for six weeks by the time the error gets discovered, so goin' to court and seekin' his execution is a bit whatchacall redundant..

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 10:37 AM

Shocking! I always knew Floribama was an awful place.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: oldhippie
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 01:00 PM

The Onion already beheaded him. Case closed.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: oldhippie
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 01:02 PM

http://www.theonion.com/articles/punxsutawney-phil-beheaded-for-inaccurate-predicti,31712/

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 08:25 PM

I predict that there will be major repercussions from this. You don't mess with a Groundhog of Phil's status if you know what's good for you. Phil is immortal, and he holds great power. If slain, he will return, and the evildoers who thought they had destroyed him will tremble in craven fear.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 13 - 10:58 PM

I vote for a prisoner swap. Phil gets to live, but that Camping guy who's predicted the end of the world on more than one occasion gets strung up by his 'nads.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 02:24 AM

Harold Camping? I thought that he got raptured a few months ago?

(I'm joking.)

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 12:30 PM

Punxsutawney Phil, being as he was completely lied and was wrong, should either be called as an expert witness for the Jodi Arias trial...or run for political office!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 01:39 PM

How DARE you accuse Phil of lying, GfS!?????!! Do you accuse weathermen of lying when they sometimes get a forecast wrong? Take that plank out of your eye before you complain about the little speck of dust in Phil's eye, ye hypocrite!

;-)

Anyway, the truth is that Phil's Spring forecast was dead right, but people in the government used the HAARP project to screw up the weather this Spring and discredit Phil. Their objective? To deny him a successful run for the presidency in the near future when everybody finally realizes that ALL the human dupes the system trots out to vote for us are bought puppets anyway who can't be trusted, and they refuse to vote human any longer!!!

That's when Phil was going to step into the breach, run for the Nature Party, and save the nation. And that's why they're trying to kill him.

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 01:44 PM

correction: should have read - "ALL the human dupes the system trots out for us to vote for"

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 04:07 PM

Yo ho!!...got a chuckle from that one!...but what about being called as an expert witness for the defense in the Jodi Arias trial??
As far as HARP, just shows ya' that governments should stay away from trying to play music...when they ain't got no soul! Maybe the Nature Party should form a coalition with their local chapter of The Cariboucrats, and have them march of the base....even dismantle it!..calling for equality for Mother Nature, and it should become a 'Civil Rights' issue for discriminating against large women, who through political blindness won't even recognize her!!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 04:37 PM

I worry about stories like this.
Has it been sourced from a magazine? If so, 'monthlies' are often available a week or more ahead of the publication date on their covers.
That would make this, lessee, March 22nd plus about 10 days, ...

Subject: RE: BS: Punxsutawney Phil Faces Death Penalty!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 13 - 10:53 PM

Yes, it has been sourced from a number of large media outlets. Just do an internet search for it.