M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain

Subject: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 05:28 PM

I just got off the phone with my best friend here in town. One of her son's soccer/skateboarding pals went home after school yesterday and shot himself to death. He was in 6th grade, 12 years old.

While I feel confident of her sources, I do not want to put particulars in here until we know for sure. It doesn't really matter at the moment, though. I just know there is a family and there will be many, many children in a great deal of pain and would ask you all to hold them in your thoughts for a day or two.

Thank you so much; there is so much pain when something like this happens, so little understanding of why, that tears cannot wash away.

katsaddened

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Áine
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 05:39 PM

Dearest Kat,

This is so, so, sad! I hope your friend is making sure that her son gets some counseling, too. At this age, something this tragic will effect him terribly, whether it shows right now or not.

Having been in the same position, not once but twice, I will definitely hold all these folks in my thoughts and prayers (including you, dear Kat).

-- Áine

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 05:52 PM

My best thoughts and my prayers go out to you,Kat,and all others involved in this tragedy.

LEJ

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Micca
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 06:39 PM

Kat, I'm in, let me know what is needed and you can count on what we can provide. Its the circle of what they call "collateral damage" that always bothers me, the friends and family, best wishes from a greatly saddened Micca

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 06:40 PM

So many more and so very young........and no one ever can understand the why of it. Very sad for the family and friends. Our best to them and to your friends too Kat.

Spaw

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Willie-O
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 06:49 PM

Kat, that's awful. Very upsetting.

I've had a bit too much experience with seeing what happens when incomprehensible death touches a small community--no one extremely close to me, but the whole community is effected and shocked.

Often I'd be tempted to make a speech about gun control, or the differences between the US and Canada (they are substantial, but it can and does happen here), but now I'm just wishing for a world where stuff like that doesn't happen. I feel for the boy, his family, friends and all of you.

Love
Bill

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Banjer
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 06:56 PM

Count me in with thoughts and prayers for the boy, his family and all that are affected by this needless death. Like throwing a pebble into a pond, the resulting ripple will touch more than we can imagine...

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: InOBU
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 07:54 PM

Do pass on the thoughts and prayers of my wife and I, if it is appropriate to pass them on. Larry and Genie Otway

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 07:57 PM

My thoughts are with you all -

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 08:01 PM

I'm very sorry to hear Mama Kat. My thoughts are with those feeling the pain of such a loss.

Bonnie

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 08:09 PM

Thank you to you all, so much. I don't even know the family, just of them through my friend and her son, but this town is only about 47,000, so we all feel it.

Plus, we just all were dealing with the fact that a former soccer coach is being tried by the feds for child porn and traffiking of child porn, having filmed several boys years ago, in this very community. It seems they found LOTS of evidence and have testimony of one of the children, now a young adult. A lot of betrayal, fear and disbelief.

Yes, my friend and her ex will be very careful with their son. They are very aware that he is a *sensitive*, like a lot of us; he's been having nightmares and now we think he may have been *picking up* on this about to happen.

Bill, I know what you mean about the gun thing. I really don't want to make an issue of it, either, except that it sickens me. For those of you who are fairly new to the Mudcat, search the threads back to when Columbine happened. You will find 2 or 3 which are quite memorable, heated, and passionate about the whole enchilada, which I sincerely hope we do not see happen on here, again. IT would make a good read, though.

Thank you all so very much. Even though I do not know them, it is not hard, as a mom, to feel empathy for the parents and wonder at the horror it must be to find your child in such a way. There is release in tears, but no understanding. I can oly hope, according to my beliefs, that he finds relief from paina nd is able to have a better life next time. I can only wonder at what lessons everyone is supposed to learn from such an horrific event.

I love you all,

Kat

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: A Friend
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 08:29 PM

Why do you post this type of garbage HERE ???????

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: SingsIrish Songs
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 08:57 PM

A Friend,

Pardon, but it isn't really garbage when it is affecting members of the Mudcat family...Folk music and blues is the driving force of the site, but Mudcatters also realize each person here is a human being...WE REACH OUT TO ONE ANOTHER!!!

-----------------------------

Kat, I am very saddened by the news...My thoughts and prayers are with all affected by this tragedy.

Mary

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: _gargoyle
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 09:22 PM

Listen.... ...........to
...............your
..................... friend
.............................. LaughKat!!!

You don't know the kid's family

WE don't know the kid's family

No one write's about the double muder-suicide next door....(happened to me)or the step-father that shot his 28 year old son down the street.....(happend to me) for the father,brother,grandmother,father-in-law that died in the successive years (happened to me)[or ANY of the moutains of SHIT that happen in EVERYONE'S lives]

The WTO protests in Seattle(unless they play MUSICAL SAWS and it affects their Musical Ability to Perform....and we as muscial community respond....

You landed amongst some very nice folk here...but you have taken advantage of their hospitality...

I STRONGLY suggest that you seek out a local therapy group to help you work out "the pain in your life."

Holy Crap...I can imagine the "Healing" necessary when your father dies....

If EVERYONE posted the type of things you post...it would become a reference point for the Mental Health Institute.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 10:12 PM

Kat, you know that was a minority voice. My best friend in high school shot himself without ever sharing with me what was troubling him so much--the accepted story was that he had been diagnosed with tuberculosis and didn't want to burden his parents.

A former student of mine (freshman English), a tall, exceptionally handsome young man, high school all-American in lacrosse then college all-American at Penn State, after graduation went to work in an investment firm in New York, a very bright future, decided he didn't like the East Coast, came back to Berkeley, tried without success to get a job in the bay area, finally went out and bought a shotgun, took it home, stuck it in his mouth...he hadn't talked with his friends about his feelings.

Another of my students in a 9th grade remedial English came to California to live with an uncle after seeing his father shoot his (the boy's) mother, then himself. He was a very angry, very quick tempered young man, a circumstance made especially problematic since he was already over six feet tall and very big in the 9th grade: but he got the help to pull his life together and is a very warm, very likeable young man (or was, the last time I saw him a few years ago).

There is an awful lot of pain in just about everybody's lives--and it does help to talk about it, to share it with your friends. It doesn't help to inflict pain on others because you are hurting but don't know what to do about it.

My thoughts are with the boy's family and schoolmates--and with others who are hurting. one cannot live consciously in this world without becoming aware of the vast overload of horror--that doesn't mean that we should not try to ease the pain of friends--or friends of friends.

--seed

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Áine
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 10:17 PM

Well said, 'Seed, well said.

-- Áine

Subject: http://anon.free.anonymizer.com/RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From:
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 10:24 PM

It does appear that Mr. Gargoyle and Friend have a valid point. This is not the place.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Gene Graham
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 10:42 PM

Looky up at the top o the page. It say, "dedicated to blues and folk music.

Ah do believe they do have a point honey child.

If you don't play it, and you can't sing it, this is no place to be bringin' other people's blues.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: bunkerhill
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 10:49 PM

Blues and folk aint worth crap unless they tell you, at least once in a while, "let it out, honey." Facrissakes, garg, dont you understand the need to go out and bake a pie or stew some beans or do something, facrissakes, when a stupid kid cant take it anymore?

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 10:59 PM

Yeah Mark my new friend, you're getting the idea!

Seriously Garg....Give it a break man. Gene Graham? The man hasn't posted in two and a half years and hr comes back on this thread??? Geeziz man, I love bi-polar manic depressives, but even they get "teedjus" now and again. Ya gotta' lay off the home brew or something or the whole thing is gonna' make your ass null and void!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Escamillo
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 11:24 PM

Dear Kat, I have three sons, and my thoughts are with that family too. I don't care if this is anything related to folk music or not, since first of all, we are human beings with all our joy and our pain, and deserve some respect when we sincerely express an opinion or feeling. At least, mentally healthy people should understand when a posting is intended just to bother the others, and when it is an authentic expression.
Yours, Andrés

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: thosp
Date: 03 Dec 99 - 11:47 PM

my heart shares your feelings Kat -

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: DonMeixner
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 12:00 AM

kat,

If I'm needed, I'm here to help. Always tell me when some one needs a hand or a leg up in life. Its happened to me at times and I had friends and strangers come to my aid. How far a kind word goes when its not asked for but given freely still amazes me.

Some day the detractors may need a hand or a word and we'll still be here, even for them, and then they will understand.

Don

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: thosp
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 12:06 AM

i totally agree with the sentiment Don
peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: doug
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 12:20 AM

god bless you and them kat. sooner or later it will became obvious to even our politicians that we need gun control, which i translate to mean no guns at all. as the SONGS say, how many deaths will it take?, and , when will they ever learn?.

one of the really nice things about these sites is that nobody forces you to read anything you don't want to. doug

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 12:26 AM

Oh, sorry phoaks, I asked for prayers for the wrong people. Please shine your light on the gutter spouts of the world. Obviously they need all of the help they can get. Now, while we hold them in the Light, let's all bless and release them on their way.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 04:25 AM

Kat, how about if we actually DO hold the anonymous and not so anonymous poster in the light, if we actually do try to keep kind thoughts focused in his direction? Do you not think any healing is possible? I'm not saying don't fight back--just don't use his weapons, use those that have been useful to you in the past.

Love, --seed

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Banjer
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 05:28 AM

This is a forum, all are entitled to their individual thoughts, Gargoyle, and the one called 'a friend' included. If one voices an opinion one should also have the courage to sign one's name, unlike the anonynous posts.

Each time something like this comes up we have to ask ourselves what is folk music? Is it not the music of the folks based upon their experiences? Can this incident of life not be construed as an expresion or exchange of thoughts by 'folkies' which could possibly result in the creation of a new tune and lyrics much as many of our beloved folk songs did in the past?

Just as an example, suppose this forum had been around many years ago. Someone may have written in it about the engineer, harrased by management and forced to act beyond his capbilities and that of his equipment. The resulting accident could have been written in song and maybe titled "The Wreck Of The Old 97"

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: dwditty
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 05:56 AM

The first time I remember this forum being used to offer love and support to someone in great need was when our beloved 'Spaw was ill. I think we all marveled at the power of those thoughts and prayers. I remember thinking how it was such a positive use of this medium, especially amidst some of the really awful stuff you find on the net. So to those who don't appreciate efforts to put to good use the time and talents and testimony of those that live here, I ask that you simply move on to another thread.

Being ever thankful for all I have, I welcome the opportunity to offer prayer, love, and support to those in need. So, Kat, thank you for turning to this community to ask for out help for these troubled people. You and they have my thoughts and love and prayers.

DW

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Hummingbird
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 09:38 AM

My thoughts will be with the family of the young boy. As the parent of 12 year old myself, I know how important it is to communicate with your children and find out what is going on in their lives, outside of home and offer yourself to them to talk about anything they want freely, without judging them or making them fear reprecusions. This is a family here at the MudCat. We are here to support each other, emotionally and musically. I say if those of you who don't like or approve of these posts, don't the door hit you the back side on the way out.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 09:39 AM

I will hold the family and community in the Light- I will also hold all of us in the Mudcat community there because we've been here before and we know that this is a place worth keeping for all kinds of good reasons- folk music being our foremost "official" reason but the love and caring that has grown and grown here is the main reason so many of us keep coming back!
I have very little time in my day to come here, there are many non-folk threads I ignore because of that, but the Mudcat Healing Circle is a wonderful way for us to show the extent of our caring. And if you don't approve, don't click on to it! There's plenty of music to discuss in other threads!
Allison-who-also-pointedly-ignores-hurtful-posters

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 09:42 AM

Thanks Banjer, DW; and, seed, I was only partly jesting. I do seriously think it is a good idea.

Oh, and phoaks, I had the age wrong; he was only eleven.

Thank you,

kat

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 09:52 AM

Sorry Allisona dn Hummingbird, our postings crossed paths, thank you very much.

I think what McGrath posted in the OS thread bears repeating here (Thanks, Kevin):

The price of freedom is eternal tolerance. All we can reasonably demand of each other is that we are reasonably polite and friendly and don't try to hurt each other. And maybe if a thread is getting a bit heated, bring in a song, the way Quakers bring in a silence.

kat

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: jeffp
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 09:55 AM

Kat,

My heartfelt sympathies go out to your friend. It's always the loved ones left behind who suffer most. I will be holding them in my heart.

Jeffp

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: lloyd61
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 10:57 AM

Kat:

"gutter spouts of the world"? what is that?

Last year a three year old was caught in a gang cross fire, in our area. I was so move a wrote a little song about the situation, and performed it many times. The response was overwhelming. Don't tell me that I should keep quite , and hold to myself, this type of tragedy. We need to make a few changes in this country, of ours, and it's people like Kat and others at this Site that need to get concerned, and DO SOMTHING. If every Folk performer, how felt strong about banning hand guns would start letting there audience know, it would add to the cause, maybe a very small part, but it would add to the cause.

One last thought, what is the root of folk, and blues in the first place? Stories like the one Kat told.

I stand in prayer for Kat and the others.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 11:14 AM

Lloyd, well said, dear one. Gutterspouts of the world...those caricatured creatures which hang out over the eaves of cathedrals spewing out whatever gathers in the gutters, in other words...gargoyles.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: lloyd61
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 05:00 PM

Keep up the good work, Kat!

It's Saturday night, we should be dancing not fighting.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: the poster formerly known as ¥ (lost cookie)
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 07:22 PM

a classic one one gargoyle

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: bobby's girl
Date: 04 Dec 99 - 07:27 PM

Don't know what else I ccan do from over here but offer my thughts and prayers for the family that Kat's concerned about - if she feels we are needed then we are here.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From:
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 12:44 AM

the thread would be appropriate IF there had been a request for dirges to sing at the wake...to redeam it and make peace, may I offer up..."The Worms Crawl In"

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 01:14 AM

Gargoyle, are you REALLY that mean-spirited? Maybe all the anonymous and other-name posts are to protect you from having to look at yourself when you click on your own cookie.

--seed

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 01:27 AM

We are walking in the Light, in the Light, in the Light
We are walking in the Light, in the Light of gawd
In the Light, in the Light, in the Light, in the Light
In the Light, in the Light, in the Light of gawd/or whomever.

Bless and release, seed, it ain't worth hanging onto.

kat

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Áine
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 01:41 AM

I agree with Kat, dear 'Seed. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this very sad person(s) the past couple of days; especially since the viciousness of his/her postings has increased. I realized that this person's words were not 'making' me upset, I was *allowing* them to upset me. Therefore, it is totally within my power *not* to allow them to upset me also. And that is exactly the path I will follow from now on. I will not respond to this person and I will not allow anything this person says to effect me whatsoever. I will, however, pray that he/she finds some kind of positive power in their life that will assuage the pain and remove the darkness that apparently fills their soul, and leaves them crying into the void that must be the world in which they live.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Banjer
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 03:41 AM

Kat and Aine, a simple phrase comes to mind...."What goes around, comes around"....One day something will befall the lives of those that would post as they do and cause them to learn the power of healing. Given the time of year I would keep in mind Dicken's "Christmas Carol" and hope that the Ebeneezers of the world and of our community here at the 'Cat soon meet up with the 'Spirits of the Season'

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 12:13 PM

I dunno Banj, I think he's indulging a bit too much in the "spirits" already.

Spaw

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Penny S.
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 01:50 PM

Does it do any harm? No. Does it do any good? Maybe. Would it do more harm not to do it, or to do it? Not to.

So do it.

On the other hand, the same questions applied to another posting would give different answers. So don't do it.

Penny

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Kernow John
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 06:22 PM

Kat
It's probably well known I'm no lover of the BS threads, but this is totally different. If a bunch of friends here on the cat can't call on each other to link prayers and thoughts to bring comfort to another being then the place wouldn't be worth having no matter how good the music. I have a copy of Mikal's father's prayer pinned to my music room wall and regard it as the most valued download I've ever made anywhere. (It's the one posted when Spaw was ill).
My thoughts and prayers are for you and your friends. May the love and peace of my God be with all of you.
Baz

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 06:28 PM

Thank you, Baz, as well as the rest of you who care and show it. It is much appreciated.

luvyaKat

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: northfolk/al cholger
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 06:35 PM

kat, I live in a number of communities, and this is one that shares the entire range of human interaction. All of our hearts go out to your family and your families friends. My wish is for a holiday season of comfort, and an eventual return to joy.

Subject: RE: M'Cat Healing Soc. - A family is in pain
From: Pete Peterson
Date: 05 Dec 99 - 08:32 PM

Kat, Just got back after a long weekend playing music (yea) and very sorry to read such rough news. My heart goes out to you and those you care about!
Gargoyle, I think this may be the first time I have disagreed with you and posted about it. I think these messages and requests are appropriate. One of my favorite SF authors (Spider Robinson) said it better than i can--"joy shared is joy multiplied. Pain shared is pain divided." I'll keep on sharing both kinds and believe that the total amount of joy in the world might just increase. Worth trying.