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Lyr Add: Motel Mendocino


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GUEST,F the Ineffable 23 Jun 22 - 07:29 PM
Joe Offer 23 Jun 22 - 10:48 PM
cnd 24 Jun 22 - 08:30 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: Motel Mendocino
From: GUEST,F the Ineffable
Date: 23 Jun 22 - 07:29 PM

Midsummer, a hundred-plus degrees inland. Newspapers run articles telling everyone to come to the coast. Time for a tourist-discouraging song.

Words: F the Ineffable
Tune: Hotel California, the Eagles

On a dark coastal highway, dead bugs in my hair
Strong smell of roadkill, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a traffic light
My butt grew heavy and I had to poop, I had to stop for the night

Innkeeper in the doorway, though the smell made me gag
And I was thinking to myself, “This could be Mendo or it could be Fort Bragg…”
Then he picked up a flashlight and he showed me the way
I heard voices from a water tower and I thought I heard them say

        Welcome to the Motel Mendocino
        Such a funky place (such a funky place)
        Such a grungy space
        There’s plenty of room at the Motel Mendocino
        Any time of year (any time of year)
        Book it online here

His mind is whacked on gummies
He’s got THC-CBD blends
He’s got a lot of rich, rich tourists that he calls friends
Now they walk by Big River, despite the tsunami threat
Some walk to get exercise, some walk to get wet

        Welcome to the Motel Mendocino
        Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
        Such a lovely face
        They’re livin' it up at the Motel Mendocino
        What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
        What a pair of thighs
Spiders on the ceiling, water with no ice
We are all prisoners here, we took our own bad advice
And in the motel dining room we gather for the feast
We fight the bug with mask and vax but we just can't kill the beast

        Welcome to the Motel Mendocino
        Such a funky place (such a funky place)
        Such a grungy space
        There’s plenty of room at the Motel Mendocino
        Any time of year (any time of year)
        Book it online here

Last thing I remember, I was was running for my car
I had to book a cruise ship to the Seychelles or Zanzibar
“Forget it," said the innkeeper, ”wiping his nose on his sleeve,
“You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. “

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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Motel Mendocino
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Jun 22 - 10:48 PM

Mendocino is an unincorporated area in Mendocino County, California. It is surrounded on two sides by parks that face the Pacific Ocean. The main part of Mendocino is a triangle, seven east-west streets by 11 north-south streets. California Highway 1 is more-or-less the third side of the Mendocino triangle, but parts of Mendocino spill over east of the highway. The population of Mendocino is 707, which is also its telephone area code. Mostly, Mendocino is a tiny vacation village and a very nice place. It has a very limited water supply, so it can't grow very much.

Don't know of any funky, grungy lodging in the vicinity. This is definitely the high-rent district, and the views are gorgeous. But the Ancient Matriarch may be able to direct us to the funky, grungy places....

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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Motel Mendocino
From: cnd
Date: 24 Jun 22 - 08:30 AM

I didn't realize at first that California also has its own Ft. Bragg and thought for a minute you were going coast to coast and referencing the North Carolina fort. Funky, grungy, and gross, it is, but a tourist town it is not.

On the note of roads, one that abuts the Ft. Bragg (NC) military complex, SR 1451 (Manchester Rd/Raeford-Vass Rd/King Rd), is one of the worst roads I've driven on in recent memory. Some potholes the size of your side of the lane. It's pretty well-known in the area for being that way, but it's also the only public road that traverses the area. That area also has the first paved road with a single-lane bridge on a paved public road that I've used in a while.

Ramblings about roads aside, I like the song! I traveled to California for the first (and so far only) time in my life back in the summer of 2017 and stopped in Carmel-by-the-Sea, and though I think it goes far past the typical vacation town you're describing above, I had an eerie feeling the whole time I was there. I've also never seen a town with a higher ratio of art galleries and wine tasting rooms to people in my life. It had to be at least 1:2

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