Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 16 Mar 00 - 02:22 PM OK Challenge!rs - If you don't like this one, don't blame me! This little jewel comes from the Infamous Amos -- Yes folks, the same man who penned the amazing Feminism One-Oh-One! Can't say he's unbalanced now (or can you??). Anyway, have fun with this one! -- Áine Dull Men of the World Unite -- LONDON (Reuters) - Now there's a Web site for the man who has everything except a life. Promising to free its readers from the pressures of trying to be "in and trendy," www.dullmen.com reviews dull books, tells dull jokes and lists dull events for every month of the year. "In March, we like to watch maple trees during sugaring time. Sap dripping just right to watch -- the right pace, the right suspense," suggests the site run by the U.S.-based National Council of Dull Men. Laid out in shades of grey, black and white, it also offers a test with questions like "Do you like to watch airport luggage carousels?" and "Do you like English food?" to help readers find their true selves. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 16 Mar 00 - 03:02 PM Hee hee! I fit right in on this one! What about someone who sits there and keeps hitting the refresh button in hopes of a thread getting updated? --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 03:09 PM Mbo - "dull" is not exactly a word I have ever remotely considered using in connection with you. Now I'm going to go out and watch a bone fossilize. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Mar 00 - 04:25 PM Mbo-- write to me instead when you fall into that habit. I'll do the same. Deal? PS, I've figured out what to do when you just HAVE to be at the 'Cat but there's no one to play with. See me in the personals for more!!!
Fine print: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 04:45 PM with apoligies to whoever wrote the music for "1776" (and to all who tap maples)
I'm waiting for the drip, drip, drip *spoken* God, isn't this exciting? What happens next?
I'm waiting for the plop, plop, plop *spoken* That makes almost a teaspoon! Isn't this fascinating?
I'm waiting for the drip, drip, drip |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 16 Mar 00 - 04:49 PM Well done, MMario!! Speaking of sap, where the heck is Willie-O?? This challenge is right up his tree! Think I'll see if I can't shake his branches and get him to come over and join us (hee hee). -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 05:15 PM Dang, MM, that's crackerjack! I'm cracking up here! You guys gotta slow down -- all this stimulating lyric is making my head spin!!!
Anti-dullard themes would also be appropriate, if the Goddess allows :>) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 16 Mar 00 - 05:28 PM And a melodious voice spake from the clouds of the 'Cat: "So may it be -- Let there be anti-dullard themes!"
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 16 Mar 00 - 06:42 PM I am just a dull boy All I do is work all day And that's what makes me so boring I ain't got no time to play I gots the dull boy blues And Lord it's takin' a toll on me I got no life, I got no girl, I'm as lonely as can be Oh the things I do all day I could give you now a quorum Just a big ol' list of things That would inspire naught but boredom I gots those dull boy blues And Lord it makes me wanna cry And sometimes I get so feelin' down Lord I wish that I could die Pouring out resin Watching acid etch They pile my arms with homework And then they say "Here, catch!" I gots them dull boy blues Oh Lord I've had them so long And I want so bad to break free But my folks they say I'm wrong Runnin' up and down Those steps all day Cuttin' wood and inking plates Someone please find a way To end these dull boy blues Put my rump in a sling Cause there ain't no end for me in sight Lord I ain't got anything My last girl I scared her And all the others run I got a bad reputation now I'm a good-fer-nuthin' bum I gots those dull boy blues I'm holdin' my heart in my hand And when I quote Tolkien or Shakespeare Lord there's noone who understands So don't try to talk to me Cause I'm such a bore Unless you want to hear the facts Of the Peloponesian War I got those dull boy blues I only know dull boy things well Buy if'n you like that kinda thing... Baby, come save me from this hell! Ohhh yeah...you ain't nothing, you ain't nothing now...! Uh! Sorry, not funny. But the truth. --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Barky Date: 16 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM Mbo: Excellent!! (but not at all close to the truth!!!!!!) ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 16 Mar 00 - 07:53 PM Mbo, didn't know you were an intaglio printmaker. Printmaking was one of my main enthusiasms as an art student, back in the late pleistocene. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Willie-O Date: 16 Mar 00 - 08:21 PM OK I'll bite. Aine I presume your question as to my whereabouts was rhetorical--I am taking a break from watching steam rise--wish it were that simple. MMario, very funny, but
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 16 Mar 00 - 08:31 PM Dearest Willie-O, In crayon, pencil, charcoal -- written with your toes or your nose -- sappy or fourth dimensional -- LAY IT ON US, BABY!! we want willie-o, We Want Willie-O, WE WANT WILLIE-O, WE WANT WILLIE-O Need I say more? -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 08:33 PM I dunno, Willie -- a Challenge is a Challenge, fair 'n' square, but the GG has been know to spring off in odd directions purely on whimsy at times, so ye better propose to her whatever one dimensional activity you have in mind... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 16 Mar 00 - 08:34 PM Oops, forgot to mention the typically wunnerful blues effort there by Mbo -- Well done, a mhic! I can hear it from here! -- Áine (Ya know guys and gals, I think Mbo there has a real affection for blue fumes . . . maybe he should pay Willie-O a visit . . .) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM willie-o, I know...but..... oh heck! Can I plead artistic license? Can I pead stupidity? Unfortunately I can't plead ignorance.... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Willie-O Date: 16 Mar 00 - 09:12 PM ARTISTIC LICENCE This hereby certifies that Mmario is a qualified licenced Artist and is fully certified to equivocate, exaggerate, withhold or expand on the boring details as he should see fit, describe events that never happened as if he were there, ignore or adjust so-called laws of physics to make a better story, and generally take all necessary measures to come up with something that will register on the Aine-meter as a work of art... Signed see, I lied--ahem, I mean, used my licence about playing fiddle between firings. I have time to slip into the basement, hit "refresh" (uh-huh Meebo) and post something. It's too cold out there to play now. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 09:25 PM hey! I'm LICENSED! I may just print that out and post it in my cubbie! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 16 Mar 00 - 09:28 PM Thanks, and it IS true! I like the blues. I'm thinkin' on recording this one for Mudcat Radio! --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Willie-O Date: 16 Mar 00 - 10:17 PM Somebody should pay me a visit--actually half the reason I started booking concerts was that my musician "friends" will only visit if I pay them to! Talk about dullsville..... zzzzzzzzzz |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 11:03 PM The Candy Asses' Ball
Oh....... Listen to the rumble and the whistle of hot air Ch:
Then it's off to form a line outside, just past the airport gateCh: And they'll spend several hours making sure their line is straight They have a little game they play, while straightening it out Comparing numbers seen, of cabs: with checkers, and without. These are the men in houndstooth, they haven't got a lifeCh: Each one has 2.7 kids, and less than half a wife Their precious lawns are neat and trim, no crabgrass do they keep, And they work to keep their toes up straight, when they lie down to sleep! They're really great at parties, discussing cubes of iceCh: They know the best deals all around, they've double checked it twice! They know how many cowhides the NFL will need And just for fun, take sesame buns, and tally up the seeds! They learned it in their chioildhood, when Dad would raise a sceneCh: Calling all the kids to come and see that test grid on the screen They love to watch old boards dry out, it makes their eyes shine bright, Alphabetizing M and Ms, and lining them up right! Oh ladies if you're single, take warning here from meCh: And never let a man like that invite you for some tea. For into morbid coma, and far from life you'll fall If you marry up with a dullard from the Candy Asses' Ball! Ch: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Willie-O Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:05 AM Gawd, I love Texans--they're so DEMONSTRATIVE! You asked for it Aine. I have finally entered a Song Challenge. I plead excessive inhalation of sap fumes, among other substances. Looking For Dullsville
If you're looking for dullsville baby
You could be washing the dishes baby Bridge (You read them twice)
I oughtta be folding laundry now (I didn't get it)
Cause this is Dullsville... Anti-copywrit by
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:09 AM Classic, WillieO....you gotta tape this one for the Cat. I want to hear it with a E-G-A slide behind it. Mighty fine stuff! You got any more sap? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Willie-O Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:44 AM it would need a tune, sort of...if you got any ideas, you run with it! Yours was better though. In the sad state of affairs that passes for lumber these days, yer lucky to find a flat 2 x 4. You could spend half your life looking. If you're a certain kind of person. Like me, |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:48 AM Good one Willie! I know exactly how you feel, man! --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Hyperabid Date: 17 Mar 00 - 06:44 AM Mmm this one took me a while to find some inspiration. Partly I guess because I've been busy reanting away in another thread about internet sterotyping. Anyway here's a first crack at the subject... I hasten to add that the stereotype in this little ditty is a man who uses the site described - not one of the general internet community... Bore from Bangalore To the Tune of Girl from Ipanema V
Lean old geek so tall and spotty V
Conversation is not his strong point C
Oh how can he be so boring V
So he surfs the site for boring men (Jazzy Beebop 5-piece play out impossibly complex improvisations that impress nobody but each other).
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 09:00 AM Way ta go, Hyper...I know that guy. I'm sure I know him...looks a lot like me...! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Hyperabid Date: 17 Mar 00 - 09:16 AM Aha but you ain't boring m8 ;-) Hyp |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 10:27 AM Oh lordy, lordy, lordy . . . Amos, Willie-O, and Hyp -- I'm dying laughing here!! I was going to submit a little something -- but, geez, how it would pale in comparision to y'all! Ya know, it takes A LOT OF TALENT to write about DULL MEN . . . or does it just take A LOT OF DULL MEN???? Go my darling Challenge!rs!!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 10:47 AM Well, TGG, yer logic board has worked loose, I'm sure. That would make us all Playboy Bunnies disguised as wired bees who keep ferrets and kill chickens in strange little villages...and marry without meeting, and about 12 other states and conditions from past Challenges. Doesn't add up, y'ask me! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:05 AM Boring, boring is the man, And he might never stumble or fall. Boring, Boring, walk the path, And he might never fall in love at all. CHORUS: Boring, Boring, Life is dull, Like an evening spent watching growing corn. Boring, boring is his love, So dull, and safe and warm. Slowly, slowly beats the heart That ne'er excitement can call its own. Lonely, lonely, lies the part That has to live all alone. Dully, dully, beats the heart With no rush of excitement ever seen. Deadly, deadly, dull is life If he can be said to have been |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:07 AM Lord, MM, you said it on the nail. God spare us all from safe solutions! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Hyperabid Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:20 AM That was quite something MM Hyp |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:49 AM Wow, MMario -- that was as exciting as a belly full of dumplings eaten raw! What a great example of "Artistic Licence" -- seeing's how no one who can sing songs like the ones I've heard you sing could ever have a life so sad and boring!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:57 AM I also have a very active imagination. *weg* |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Willie-O Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:03 PM I'd like to post something but I have to drag my boring ass off to town to pick up the PA for the pub tonight...at which I will twiddle the knobs, play tunes, and not drink beer....I just pulled the lyrics to "Wild Rover" off the DT...can you imagine a more boring use for the database... dull is me
mundanely |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:03 PM MM, What's a *weg*? White-out eating grin? Whale-eating grin? Wide earnest grin? Ummm....wicked enema giver? Oh...wide evil grin? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 17 Mar 00 - 12:27 PM I feel so privileged! All these songwriters, writing songs about ME! Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 17 Mar 00 - 01:20 PM woeful enervated grimace |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 17 Mar 00 - 01:22 PM This challenge reminds me of Yossarian's avoidance of chess matches with the colonel in the hospital--they were highly competitive and too exciting and made time pass too quickly, so Yossarian started avoiding them: who wants time to fly by when it may be over with the next flight over enemy territory? Anyway, I came up with this little thing last night after midnight: I suppose if I gave it some clear-eyed thought I could find a few more ways to stop time, thus a few more verses, but I'll have to settle for this--I have to go to work an hour ago. It's a blues, a la "Get Thee Behind Me, Satan" or "Folsum Prison Blues," or perhaps "Long Line Skinner"; for lack of a better title, it's "I need me some peace."
The telephone's ringin' and there's someone at the door,
There's a war in the east, there are floods in the south, --seed |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 01:23 PM I shoud have known that! So obvious, once you think of it....I like wicked evil grin better. More appropriate for a WEG (Whale-Eating Guy) like yerself :>). *BOSEG*. (Which stands for Big Old Sh_t-Eating Grin, altho' I never have figured out why that would make anyone grin.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 01:30 PM BSeed, That's OK, we'll give you time enough to finish that fine song -- what else have we got to do except watch the grass grow??? -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 17 Mar 00 - 01:31 PM Áine - you said "we" -- does this mean women can be dull too? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 01:40 PM Cracking up here, BSeed! That last line is a killer... "Just the thing to ease my pain, Marcel Proust and his madeleine!". You could do a dozen verses on this notion of very unrandom literature -- translating the Aeneiad, cross referencing Ulysses, lesseee -- oh and decoding Wittgenstein! Put anyone to sleep, the silly old Hun... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 03:50 PM Alright, ya buggas -- Here's my little ditty for this round:
The Dull And Boring Man |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 05:16 PM Aww, Áine, it's just beautiful. So this qualifies you to join the Dullard's Convention and go to the Candy Asses' Ball tonight. Just show 'em your hobby list from the song and they'll let you right in! :>) I guess I'll see you all there -- the chair-leg counting starts at 7 sharp -- be there or don't be square! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Bradypus Date: 17 Mar 00 - 06:48 PM Lots of excellent entries. Mmario, I was singing along.
I suppose dull should appeal to Bradypus, so here we have:The ballad of Graham Gray
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 17 Mar 00 - 07:00 PM When I really need excitement, when I cant wait for things to happen, I buy some fresh bananas and watch them turn brown: there's a couple of weeks of solid entertainment. Over my head in my cubicle at school there are accoustic tiles, about twenty inches square, with odd cuneiform holes punched in them an a totally random pattern. Interspersed among the cuneiform holes are tiny pinpricks. I've been wondering if I could stand the excitement of counting the larger holes, then the smaller ones, in one of the tiles over my head. I'm not sure how to make the count accurate without getting up and marking each hole as I count it; as I said before, the pattern seems quite random. As an offhand guess, I'd suppose each tile has maybe a thousand of the larger holes and a like number, perhaps fifty percent more, of the smaller holes, so actually counting them and marking them should take an hour, at least, per tile. There are 32 tiles on the ceiling (there would be 38 but the places of two of them are occupied by flourescent fixtures), so even if I had equal access to each of the tiles, to count and mark the holes, it would take me about 32 hours (I can't count one and multiply by 32, because, as I said, the patterns appear random, so there's no guarantee that the count from tile to tile will be even close, let alone identical). And, of course, knowing how mistakes can be made, the first time I counted them I could use a yellow marker to identify those I'd already counted; the second time, to make sure, I'd use a light blue marker--and, since it's likely that my counts would not agree, I'd have to count them a third time, this time marking them with pink. This would still leave a mark light enough that you, if you were concerned about the accuracy of my count, could mark them with black as you counted them. The wall I just watched as the paint dried faces south and gets sun for many hours per day. One of these slow decades I can sit and watch it as the paint cracks from the constant sunlight, and as the cracks widen and the paint begins to flake off. As you can see, I will never lack for entertainment. --seed |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM Dang it, Bradypus!! Will you quit being so damned unique all the time!!! Now I have to go and conjure up a new award -- for the best Challenge! song that uses one word more than 35 f***ing times!! Ya know, you should have called it "The Grey Opus", or maybe, "Ode To Grey" . . . well, anyway, here's a kiss on the cheek, a special big hug and a pat on the back for the man who had the cajones to come up with grey-pfruit jam! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 07:13 PM Dear BSeed, I hate to break it to you, but they're really not random patterns in the ceiling tiles. In the dark, dim past, when I was single, I had the great misfortune to go on a date (blind date, of course) with a fellow whose family manufactured said enticing tiles. Trying to keep the conversation going, because he was a VERY DULL MAN, I commented on how I'd always wondered how many holes were in these fascinating tiles (God forgive me, but Momma raised me to be polite!). Well, this question sure perked Mr. Interminably Effing Boring right up! To be honest, I blocked out most of what he said (for the next hour and a half until I could escape in a taxi pleading a headache -- what a sucker!), but, I do remember that he stated that there were actual patterns that were used to stamp holes in the tiles, and that when orders were shipped, it was very important for the manufacturer to remember to ship varied patterns, so that when the tiles are installed, the holes would appear randomly, and no one would be able to see the patterns. Is that not the DULLEST story that you've ever heard? GOOD -- BECAUSE I MADE THE WHOLE BLOODY THING UP!!!! *BG* Love ya 'Seed, Áine (who would never want to crush anyone's belief in serendipity!) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Bradypus Date: 17 Mar 00 - 07:15 PM Thanks Aine - once I got the title, the rest just sort of happened. Who needs to be original when you can be repetitive? Who needs to be original when you can be repetitive? Who needs ... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 07:23 PM LOL! I just think this whole thing is pure genius. You guys have such good ideas about ways to make life interesting. I am very impressed. I especially like the story about your date, Áine. I think it was very interesting. This person was quite a guy, and it is really too bad you let him get away, but I am glad you are happy. Charles, you have an interesting mind, I must say. In fact , you are all so interesting...snnrzzzzuuerrxzzzzgrrzzz |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 17 Mar 00 - 08:31 PM (To the tune of Mrs. Robinson) CHORUS: Hey check me out, I'm the boring dude Words can't begin to say how dull I am, yam yam yam Here's that again--I'm the boring guy You'll never be more bored when you're with me, hee hee hee Lying on the sofa bed and counting ceiling tiles Color coding all my socks Vacuuming the window sills and counting all the flies Making friends with the dust bunnies 'neath my bed CHORUS Sitting in the grass and watching fire ants build a mound Stacking pine cones on the lawn Logging in the leaves that fall, and dusting off the 'shrooms And making sure I count each thunderclap I hear Boom Boom Ka-Boom -- CHORUS Examining the wood grain on the wooden spoons I have Making a steel wool database Sitting by the fridge and watching mold grow on the food This kind of fun puts me in a happy mood Where have you gone, Mister Whipple? Oh My bathroom hasn't been been the same for years, hear hear hear Oh don't know you know that I do The Charmin test on ev'ry roll I come upon, fun fun fun, fun fun fun! --Mbo
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 08:46 PM LOL! Fun fun fun, Embo. Flies are easy -- count the feet and divide by the squareroot of 16...that is SO innerestin...how that works, I mean, just SO innerestin...dont you think? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 17 Mar 00 - 08:51 PM Amos - you goof, it's the square root of 36. MUCH more fun. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 17 Mar 00 - 09:02 PM Guys, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I have a housefly (musca domesticus) a fruitfly (drosophila melanogaster) a horsefly, a deerfly, and a museum-quality bluebottle! All on my window sill! Oops! I hope I didn't accidentallu suck up a few when I got distracted reading the ingredients of the Windex... --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 17 Mar 00 - 09:24 PM One thing that just occured to me: when did Proust have more fun, when he was living les temps perdu, or when he was remembering them? Just one of those questions I guess will never be answered. --seed(thinking fondly of the patron saint of boring guys, and admiring all of his devoted disciples) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 17 Mar 00 - 09:33 PM Proust? Are you kidding? Andy Wharhol is the KING OF BORING! --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:08 PM Now, Mbo, you're talking Modern Boring. Charles was referring to Victorian Boring. It's quite different you know. For example there are over 231 works of written literature in English literature which qualify as truly great Victorian Boring, and their average page count is 321, using quarto and pica type in a non-serif font. However, their average _word_ count is 1,124,655. But in _Modern_ Boring there are so many fewer truly qualified works -- I would say between 122 and 123, depending on your definition. And yet they average only 245 pages and 900,123 words! Isn't that interesting? I mean, its...like..._weird, y'know? (Help ... I'm beginning to believe my own writing....) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Mbo Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:20 PM WOW! That's so exciting, Amos! But I think I can top it! I counted every period used in the 15 Volume Oxford English Dictionary! I am the dull MAN or am I THE dull MAN? --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 17 Mar 00 - 11:51 PM You de Dull Man, Mbo! You de Dull Man -- BTW, great song! Well, I've had enough of St. Paddy's Day that I can take and I'm off to the haven of all dulloids, bed. Thanks for a great day and lots of laughs, everyone. See you in the morning with another Challenge! for ya. Slán go fóill, Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 18 Mar 00 - 12:14 PM One more coming later...go ahead an' do what ya need to do. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 18 Mar 00 - 03:19 PM The Dullard's Complaint
As I came home one evening The letter was from Annie O., My mind leapt with excitement! I thought she'd fancy walking out I thought if she got tired, My mind was full of wondrous things I knew pi to twenty places I knew the Dewey system But when I told her of my plans But then she started talking I knew I had a chance to shine I rose to the situation They have a set of patterns She gazed with fascination I thought it was a sure thing She begged me for forgiveness Although it saved some driving By the time we got to her front door And so I haunt the dance halls |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 18 Mar 00 - 03:30 PM Way to go, Amos!!!! And we have our second-ever Two-Fer-One Winner!! Now, if that ain't a folk song, I don't know what is -- So, the next time we get a 'what is folk music?' thread started, everyone knows where we can point people for a reference, don't we? Well done, Daddy A.!! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 18 Mar 00 - 03:55 PM ********* THE DULL AND BORING CHALLENGE! WINNERS ********* If y'all can stay awake long enough to read the list, here 'tis. Congratulations and thanks to everyone for being so blasted dull; and again, Well Done Everyone!! As always, late submissions will taken any time at all. And if I've overlooked anyone for the 'Whole Bag O' Chips' award, please let me know. OK, read 'em and snore:
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 18 Mar 00 - 05:56 PM If You Like Cheese and Baloney (to the tune of If You like Pina Coladas)
I was tired of my Lady
Ethiopian Restaurants,
So I called the Newspaper
ChorusIf you like Cheese and Baloney
I got a letter next morning
When I walked into Denny's
(she said)ChorusIf you like Cheese and Baloney |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 18 Mar 00 - 06:01 PM What can I say, LEJ? A master stroke, with a twist ending, no less! Wunnerful, wunnerful!! Let's see -- I do believe I shall award you the Golden Cow Chip with Extra Shamrock Cluster for that lovely effort. Congratulations! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 Mar 00 - 07:00 PM "Life get's teejus, don't it?" Can't really top that.But anyway:
Watching paint dry, that's for me.
Watching grass grow, that's for me.
Watching clouds, that's for me.
|
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 18 Mar 00 - 07:07 PM McGrath, you have elevated dullness to the level of calm and tranquillity sought by many Eastern Religions. Om mane padme yawwwnnnnnnnn |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Amos Date: 18 Mar 00 - 07:07 PM Man you last-minute shooters are a terror! Two beautiful works, gentlemen. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Áine Date: 18 Mar 00 - 07:45 PM See, it's always better late than never! Thanks, Kevin, for another wonderful last minute Shamrock Cluster Winner! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 Mar 00 - 07:52 PM Thanks -
that lastline should probably be
But maybe the grass comimg back works better? Serendipity. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 18 Mar 00 - 09:46 PM zzzzzzzzzmphfizzzzznorkpsweeeeiwszzzzWHA? SONG CHALLENGE SEVENTEEN, you say? I"m outa here (great work, everyoneffnumfffszzzork...) --zzzzzeeed |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Aug 01 - 01:57 PM Boring Man John Lennon/Paul McCartney
He's a really boring shite,
Doesn't have a fancy gif,
Boring man you're so boring
He's as bland as he can be,
Doesn't have a thing to do,
Boring man are you crazy
He's a real boring man,
Even love he cannot make |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: MMario Date: 22 Aug 01 - 02:41 PM a good mediocre job there Jack. (I'd say great, but given the topic that might be a bit too much excitement.)(wseg) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Aug 01 - 03:13 PM Very perceptive of you MMario, I was going for "boring" in keeping with the topic. That's why I used the word boring eight times. The last three Lines, I tacked on at the end to wake y'all up. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: SharonA Date: 24 Aug 01 - 08:52 AM MMario: wseg? Jack: Wow! You took a song about a boring guy and turned it into a song about an even MORE boring guy! Kudos!! WHO'S SO DULL NOW (Tune: "Who's the Fool Now" or "Martin Said to His Man") John Smith said to dull man, my bland guy John Smith said to dull man, who's so dull now John Smith said to dull man, watch thou in cup how syrup ran Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now I saw a man watch the moon, my bland guy I saw a man watch the moon, who's so dull, now I saw a man watch the moon, the sun, the sky, from night to noon Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now I saw the goose and the hog, my bland guy I saw the goose and the hog, who's so dull, now I saw the goose and the hog, I watched them sleeping like a log Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now I saw a hair on the hound, my bland guy I saw a hair on the hound, who's so dull, now I saw a hair on the hound, 'twas shedding, falling to the ground Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now I saw the mouse on the pad, my bland guy I saw the mouse on the pad, who's so dull, now I saw the mouse on the pad, I clicked on where the dull site's at Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now I saw a leaf on a tree, my bland guy I saw a leaf on a tree, who's so dull, now I saw a leaf on a tree, I watched it grow from 9 till 3 Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now I saw a maid, shat the bull, my bland guy I saw a maid, shat the bull, who's so dull, now I saw a maid, shat the bull, at every lull she said I'm dull Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now John Smith said to dull man, my bland guy John Smith said to dull man, who's so dull now John Smith said to dull man, will thou 'fess up how dull I am? Thou hast well dull been, man, who's so dull now |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 29 Aug 01 - 05:50 AM THE LIMERICK ANTI-RAKE (to the tune of the Limerick Rake) I'm not a young fellow that's easy nor bold When confronted with danger my feet they grow cold My ma's apron strings I found hard to leave hold Which caused her some quare consternation I eat when I'm hungry, as much as I need But not a scrap more, I would class that as greed When it comes to the drink, and it comes to the feed My motto would be "Moderation" I've never been tempted to raise merry hell Peaceable quiet serves me quite well Stories about me, there are none to tell I'm a man who's determinedly boring I don't cause no ructions, I don't start no fights I'm tucked up in bed come eleven each night With the blankets around me, my eyes are shut tight No sound 'cept the odd gentle snoring When it comes to the music, there's much I can't handle But I'm a big fan of that fine crooner Daniel O'Donnell.I know that there's some that can't standle Him, whose tastes are a bit more demanding But music that challenges, music that bites That questions and nags and (they tell me) delights Would cause me some trouble, I'd grow pale with fright As it surpassed my small understanding In the final look-out, I know where I stand I'm the king of the safe and the lord of the bland The high priest of middle-ground, no other man Can beat me for sheer bloody boredom But sometimes when nobody's looking I dream Of reversing my lot, of letting off steam Of drinking and drugging and making a scene Debauchery, rock'n'roll whoredom I'd spit in the face of convention and taste To hell with the upright, to hell with the chaste I'd give you the finger and sneer in your face Like yer man, the punk rocker, Sid Vicious But then with a jolt I dismiss all such thoughts And feel like a thief who's been stupidly caught With his hand in the till, and I know that I ought To acknowledge that my dearest wish is To die in my bed in the midst of a sleep Out of harm's way, it's my mission to keep Always to look before making a leap And always to watch where I'm landing To cause no offence and to be left alone And if ever, dear God, I should become well-known It won't be because I've been bad to the bone But because I've been fairly upstanding |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 16 From: Eden Date: 25 Feb 04 - 08:05 AM Say, does anyone know a place to find the lyrics for "Mrs. Robinson"? And while we're on the subject of Simon and Garfunkle, how about "The Sound of Silence"? |
Share Thread: |
Subject: | Help |
From: | |
Preview Automatic Linebreaks Make a link ("blue clicky") |