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BS: Extremely silly thing to do

Mrs.Duck 08 Dec 00 - 04:20 AM
Brendy 08 Dec 00 - 04:26 AM
sian, west wales 08 Dec 00 - 04:47 AM
GUEST,Patrish 08 Dec 00 - 04:54 AM
Ella who is Sooze 08 Dec 00 - 04:57 AM
KingBrilliant 08 Dec 00 - 05:08 AM
katlaughing 08 Dec 00 - 06:03 AM
GUEST,Patrish 08 Dec 00 - 06:09 AM
GUEST,Patrish 08 Dec 00 - 06:11 AM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 06:14 AM
mkebenn 08 Dec 00 - 06:22 AM
Jon Freeman 08 Dec 00 - 08:23 AM
Lady McMoo 08 Dec 00 - 08:26 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 08 Dec 00 - 08:47 AM
Patrish(inactive) 08 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM
Trevor 08 Dec 00 - 09:08 AM
Bat Goddess 08 Dec 00 - 09:20 AM
GUEST,Matt_R 08 Dec 00 - 09:24 AM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 09:27 AM
CamiSu 08 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM
GUEST,Matt_R 08 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM
Troll 08 Dec 00 - 09:44 AM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 09:47 AM
Kim C 08 Dec 00 - 09:50 AM
Jon Freeman 08 Dec 00 - 09:51 AM
GUEST,Matt_R 08 Dec 00 - 09:58 AM
Patrish(inactive) 08 Dec 00 - 09:59 AM
Steve Latimer 08 Dec 00 - 10:04 AM
Mrrzy 08 Dec 00 - 10:07 AM
Morticia 08 Dec 00 - 10:08 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 08 Dec 00 - 10:25 AM
Patrish(inactive) 08 Dec 00 - 10:39 AM
Jon Freeman 08 Dec 00 - 10:39 AM
annamill 08 Dec 00 - 10:58 AM
Bert 08 Dec 00 - 11:20 AM
Mrrzy 08 Dec 00 - 11:35 AM
Jon Freeman 08 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM
annamill 08 Dec 00 - 12:27 PM
Ebbie 08 Dec 00 - 12:41 PM
Bert 08 Dec 00 - 12:47 PM
annamill 08 Dec 00 - 12:52 PM
Kim C 08 Dec 00 - 12:56 PM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 01:37 PM
Mrs.Duck 08 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM
DougR 08 Dec 00 - 01:53 PM
Uncle_DaveO 08 Dec 00 - 02:01 PM
Mrrzy 08 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM
McGrath of Harlow 08 Dec 00 - 02:15 PM
annamill 08 Dec 00 - 02:17 PM
Ely 08 Dec 00 - 03:10 PM
Jon Freeman 08 Dec 00 - 04:53 PM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 05:07 PM
catspaw49 08 Dec 00 - 05:16 PM
Bill D 08 Dec 00 - 05:35 PM
Kim C 08 Dec 00 - 05:43 PM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 05:47 PM
Bill D 08 Dec 00 - 06:18 PM
Micca 09 Dec 00 - 07:58 AM
Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) 10 Dec 00 - 12:37 AM
kimmers 10 Dec 00 - 12:51 AM
katlaughing 10 Dec 00 - 01:12 AM
Liz the Squeak 10 Dec 00 - 03:26 AM
Geoff the Duck 10 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM
Liz the Squeak 11 Dec 00 - 06:29 AM
P05139 11 Dec 00 - 06:54 AM
Ella who is Sooze 11 Dec 00 - 09:15 AM
Little Neophyte 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 AM
Ella who is Sooze 11 Dec 00 - 09:54 AM
P05139 11 Dec 00 - 10:01 AM
GUEST 11 Dec 00 - 10:03 AM
annamill 11 Dec 00 - 10:24 AM
Mrrzy 11 Dec 00 - 10:26 AM
GUEST,Mary in Kentucky 11 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM
Seamus Kennedy 11 Dec 00 - 12:02 PM
Geoff the Duck 11 Dec 00 - 08:59 PM
Matt_R 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM
Rollo 11 Dec 00 - 09:39 PM
Susan A-R 11 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM
Matt_R 11 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM
kimmers 12 Dec 00 - 12:18 AM
Ella who is Sooze 12 Dec 00 - 05:35 AM
sian, west wales 12 Dec 00 - 07:12 AM
Troll 12 Dec 00 - 08:18 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Dec 00 - 08:31 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Dec 00 - 08:32 AM
GUEST,Fibula Mattock 12 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM
Patrish(inactive) 12 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM
sophocleese 12 Dec 00 - 09:46 AM
Bardford 12 Dec 00 - 12:07 PM
Micca 12 Dec 00 - 12:24 PM
Ella who is Sooze 12 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM
Bert 12 Dec 00 - 01:32 PM
P05139 13 Dec 00 - 08:52 AM
SINSULL 13 Dec 00 - 09:28 AM
Trevor 15 Dec 00 - 06:45 AM
Troll 15 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM
Gervase 15 Dec 00 - 08:11 AM
Mr Happy 13 Aug 02 - 10:44 AM
EBarnacle1 13 Aug 02 - 12:22 PM
fogie 13 Aug 02 - 12:38 PM
Genie 13 Aug 02 - 07:44 PM
GUEST 14 Aug 02 - 04:37 AM
Yorkshire Tony 14 Aug 02 - 07:22 PM
Joe_F 14 Aug 02 - 07:29 PM
Wincing Devil 14 Aug 02 - 08:43 PM
Genie 14 Aug 02 - 11:13 PM

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Subject: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:20 AM

I set the computer running while I had a quick shower and thought it would save time to use my hair shampoo rather than shower gel. Now-tea tree and mint might have a very refreshing effect on your hatr but let this be a warning to others! Don't use it elsewhere!!!!!Lets leave it at that¬


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Brendy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:26 AM

Life is for learning!

B.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: sian, west wales
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:47 AM

While we're at it ...

Undoubtedly any chemistry set sold for children by any one manufacturer is child safe.

However, 2 chemistry sets, each from different manufacturers, while both child safe in isolation, are not necessarily child safe when combined by enquiring young minds.

Also, if you set your mother's curtains on fire (due to above) and no fire extinguisher is handy, spraying the fire with room freshener does not help.

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:54 AM

Mixing henna with an egg or two and left on your hair for an hour is good, rinsing with hot water is not good - anyone know how to get scrambled eggs out of hair? If you are going for the greasy lank unwashed look, I thoroughly recommend using hand cream instead of hair conditioner.
Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:57 AM

lol Sian... very funny..

Me and a friend were actually band by our parents from coming home at school lunch time because of the various things we would do and then go wrong...

One was chip pan fire (though we knew about the tea towel thing) and the other was burning ourselves on mini chicken kievs... DON"T ASK....

Mrs Duck...

lol very funny - did you know that Tea Tree is a natural antiseptic?

Ella

:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:08 AM

I'd like to know how they get away with selling kid's shower gel in the same type tubes as kid's tooth gel. 'Mummy, why are you washing me with toothpaste?' - like she expected that I had a reason!!!
Mrs Duck - do tell about the kievs. It's your duty as a good citizen to warn us of any unsuspected dangers.
Patrish - I had a similar problem with taking a shower with wedding rice in my hair! Also - vinegar rinse makes you hair lovely and shiny - but you end up smelling like a chip shop.
Sian - out of scientific interest, what happened next?
It's a fightening and dangerous world isn't it?

Kris


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:03 AM

And it never bodes well, when in the throes of passion, a gentleman reaches for the tube of lubricating jelly, in the dark, and applies suntan lotion, not realising it until his willy reaches the moistness of her twidgett, when they both feel as though they've literally caught fire! Quite an interesting time was had by all. *bg*

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:09 AM

I know of someone who confused KY with teething Gel!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:11 AM

What I meant to go on and say was that the baby had very slippery gums and certain parts of other were numb for a while
Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:14 AM

Once way back when, my boyfriend was choppping some hot chili peppers for a spicy dish we were preparing. In the middle of chopping the peppers he had to take a pee but did not wash his hands first. Don't ask, it was off to the Emergency department to put out the fire.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: mkebenn
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:22 AM

Neo, along the same lines, if you have dumped an inordinate ammount of cayanne pepper on your steak before grilling, it is unwise to try to blow it off...not good in the eyes...Mike Bennett


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:23 AM

Sian, that reminds me of school. When the teacher was talking, I used to enjoy mucking around tipping chemicals from our experiments from one test tube to another to see what colour they turned. All was fine until one day (I think we were doing esters at the time) I managed to mix conc sulphuric acid with sodium hydroxide. The test tube exploded and I spent the next 20 minutes having water poured on my face by a worried teacher. On reflection,I was extemely lucky that no damage was done!

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:26 AM

Ah yes...I've heard about those K-Y/Fiery Jack mixups...

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:47 AM

And if you get the K-Y jelly mixed up with the putty you all know what happens....
All together, now:
YOUR WINDOWS FALL OUT!!
RtS (old, forgotten and neglected jokes aired at reasonable charges)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM

This is a true story

It was the morning after the night before
He rolled out of bed and hit the floor
Felt so poorly he reached for some pills
Hoping they'd cure his hangover ills
But the lid was childproof, too damn tight
He just could not shift it try as he might
So giving up he tried a different tack
And picked up a tube of fiery jack
Warms away aches and pains the label said
So he thought he'd try it and rubbed some on his head
Meanwhile nature called and he went to the loo
But he should have read further to know what to do
"Do not use on sensitive skin, wash hands after use
But he was in a hurry was his excuse
Now certain parts of the body are more sensitive you know
And what he was handling now suddenly started to glow
It didn't feel to bad at first and a smile came to his lips
But it soon disappeared when Fiery Jack got to grips
With a sudden realisation and mistaken belief
That rubbing harder would bring some relief
His problem got worse and started to grow
Cos Fiery Jacks comforting warmth increases blood flow
Then thinking quite logically as can happen with pain
He thought that cold water might ease the strain
So he turned on the tap and filled up the bin
But at such a sharp angle he could not get it in
So met with defeat and filling with dread
He had one more try standing on his head
This did the trick his manhood felt cooled
But Fiery Jacks strong, its effects overruled
The fire was out, but he still stood to attention
Oh how could he hide this trouser extension
He felt an idiot to have been so silly
To have cruelly mistreated his own precious willy
But the damage was done, he thought as he sat
At least I'll have somewhere to hang up me hat

love Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Trevor
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:08 AM

I had a close one the other day. Reaching for the Germoline for application to a sensitive bit and realising, only just in time, that I was about to smear myself with Immac!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:20 AM

Reminds me of the couple (this must be an urban myth) who reached for the Vaseline and got Vicks Vaporub instead. Or who thought that because it had the same texture...

Bat Goddess


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:24 AM

We have a local columnist who told us about his friend, who when rushed before a big date, was putting mousse in his hair, only it wasn't mousse...it was Preparation H...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:27 AM

Well, once I was not feeling very well so I drank some Kaopectate anti-acid medicine but after slugging it down out of the bottle I thought man this stuff tastes horrible. I looked at the label and it said Calamine Lotion for mosquito bites.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: CamiSu
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM

After chopping Ginger, wash hands BEFORE doing anything involving sensitive skin. (My husband thought it would be fun. I DIDN'T)

Do not rub eyes or nose after chopping jalapenos.

Little Neo, I have a friend who did that as well! Ouch!!!

CamiSu


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM

My Dad had a similar experience...he loves to tell it! He had a cold, so his Mom told him to go in the kitchen and take some cough medicine. He found a bottle on the counter, and took a swig, thinking it was cough medicine. He said he immediately felt better. But his Mom could figure out why half her bottle of vanilla extract was gone...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Troll
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:44 AM

I mithtook the Preparathion H for tooth pasthe. But only oneth!

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:47 AM

From what I remember cats go wild over the smell of Preparation H. I think it is made out of whale oil.

Matt, I wonder if your friend's date got turned on by the smell of his hair.


Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:50 AM

I once rubbed the ol' eyeball after picking a hot pepper out of my Chinese food. Ow.

I had a bar of tea tree soap in the shower - they told me to get it to wash my tattoo the last time I went in for my abuse. ;) It's great soap so I was washing my face with it too. Well, once in awhile, I use Head & Shoulders when my head gets itchy. So one morning, I shampooed up with H&S, then washed my face with the tea tree soap.

Did anybody know that tea tree soap & Head & Shoulders make AMMONIA? Seriously. That's like the weirdest thing ever. I make sure now not to use those two products together. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:51 AM

CamiSu, I once had a very painful experience after chopping chillie peppers...

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:58 AM

Pepsi & garlic bread = olive oil vinagrette


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:59 AM

Jon, I once had a very painful experience after eating chilli peppers.........about 8 hours later
patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:04 AM

Having been a hockey goalie, Absorbine Jr. was a mainstay for me. I found out the hard way not to use it for a groin injury.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:07 AM

Ah yes, in Africa we used to say it wasn't really hot unless it burned twice. I remember as a teenager experimenting with BenGay (oooooh ow), and once visiting friends of a different race, I tried some hair goop that must be made for removing kinks from certain ethnic hair types - smelled wonderful but covered me with what felt for all the world like axle grease. I was in there for HOURS it seemed, soap did not remove it, it was awful. Still don't know what it was.... and once at the office somebody who thought I couldn't possibly like my food hotter than he did tried my Insanity Sauce (great stuff if you like eating lava) and was found later, literally weeping in the Men's room, in so much pain that he couldn't get back to work but too ashamed to run out to the machines and get some milk! That became the company joke and I was not allowed to bring hot sauces to lunch meetings any more.

Helpful hint - MILK is the antidote to capsiacins, the chemicals in hot stuff. Dairy is OK - yogurt and such - but milk is best.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Morticia
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:08 AM

My mother once had an extremely expensive hairdo for a ball she going to. Her hair was waist length and the haridresser spent hours coiling it on top if her head.....So....my mum is all done up and ready to leave and thinks, just one more quick squirt of hairspray before we go, reaches out and applies a liberal helping of spray starch all over her hair.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:25 AM

As Col. Bloodnok in the Goons ( of blessed memory) used to say:"I'll never have the curried eggs again" after a suitable sound-effect.
I did hear that yoghurt was good for curing thrush but the damn things kept flying away before I could get it on their feathers.
RtS ( a man among princes)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:39 AM

Someone I knew used yogurt for sunburn, but instead of the plain kind used banana, the smell two hours later was rancid
I have sprayed hairspray on my underarms and deoderant on my hair - actually they both worked
Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:39 AM

Thinking of mishaps with food:

An accident happened to my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin,
But this one was specially packed in a tin."
--Anon.

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:58 AM

Kat, you reached for WHAT and got the Ben Gay??? (old joke)

Never start the engine while checking out the rocker arms.. it was me who suggested it and a friend who went out to try it. About 3 minutes later he came back in completely covered in oil... I laughed til I dropped...in fact, I'm still laughing.

Love, annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bert
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:20 AM

The tricks you gals play on us guys when we're working on the car. I was carefully adding some oil one time, without a funnel of course, and Tree thought it would be a good idea to sound the horn. I jumped back, banged my head on the hood and got oil over everything. She was laughing so hard that I couldn't be mad at her (for long).


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:35 AM

The only trick like that I "played" one someone (creep alert - both the someone and this post!) was when my old college boyfriend decided to take me sailing on Squam Lake in NH - knowing that I didn't know the first thing about it and had never done it. Little teeny 2-person sailboat. So he gets in, I'm on the bank holding on, and waiting to hand him the centerboard (which for the totally ignorant, which I was at the time, is what allows the boat to go in the direction it's pointing, rather than in the direction the wind is blowing). He puts up the sail and asks me to hand him the centerboard - so I let go to give it to him... and off he blew across the lake with absolutely no way of steering! I still recall the look of fury (I'm cackling as I write this, we broke up years ago, he was a real jerk anyway) as he blew away... luckily he fetched up in some low-hanging trees about a mile away...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM

Ouch Bert, that one happened to me when I worked as a forecourt attendant in about '78 when customer decided that was the way to attract my attention while I was checking the oil for her. Thinking of forecourt attendants, do they still exist anywhere?

As for cars, Mark, one of my brothers who worked as a mechanic for many years before he turned to landscape gardening (and incidentally was one of the best Citroen mechanics in this area - he still gets asked for help with the wierd suspension of a BX, etc.) wears his wedding ring on a chain round his neck and the ring has a bit missing. The reason for this is he managed to catch it on the starter solenoid and make contact with earth and the ring turned red before he was able to remove his hand- not a pleasant experience and one that taught him a reason to observe health and saftey rules like don't wear jewelry when working on cars.

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:27 PM

I wasn't planning a trick when I made the suggestion. It was an honest opinion. It you want to see which rocker arm is making that funny noise, take off the cover and start the engine.

Man, I can't stop laughing. He was COVERED!!

Thanks for that memory, guys. He was a jerk too!

Love, annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:41 PM

I was in a new town and looking for work. The bus was almost due and realizing the wind was blowing I dashed into my friend's bathroom to give a quick hair spray. It smelled toxic. I grabbed the can again and looked. It was bug spray. I did not catch that bus.

Another time, many years later, I was having a problem with my back and took a long relaxing bath. When I got out of the tub, I rubbed Ben Gay, or some other product like that, into my lower back. Almost immediately I was dancing around, laughing and sobbing at the same time, trying to splash cold water on the area behind me but I couldn't hold still long enough to be effective. Ended up with little pearl blisters from that one.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bert
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:47 PM

A likely story!!!!

Actually it reminds me of the time, years ago, when I was selling ice cream. The machine in my van had a lid that you lifted to add more mix. Then one day they changed vans on me and I got one with a machine that was pressurised. On this machine you had to release the pressure BEFORE you lifted the lid. Of course I forgot. But it's much more pleasant being covered from head to foot in ice cream than it would be in used motor oil.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:52 PM

..AND much more fun to clean off!!!

;-)

L.A.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:56 PM

Jon, that is TOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:37 PM

I once bought an aquarium with all kinds of pretty colored fish. When I got home from the store and put the filter together I realized I forgot to buy that white filter material that goes on top of the carbon section. I figured what the heck, cotton batten should do the job so I stuffed all these cottom puffs on top of the carbon section of the filter. The next day all my beautiful fish were dead.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM

On a similar note to the yoghurt we once had a can of squirty cream!! I'll spare the details but next time we'll have a bath after because the smell of rancid cream kinda spoilt the effect!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: DougR
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:53 PM

kat, your story reminds me of a definition I heard many years ago for the word, pandimonium. When the old man, the old lady and the alarm clock all go off at the same time.

DougR


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:01 PM

Jon, by "forecourt attendant" I take it you mean what I've come to know as an "apron man", or maybe "pump jockey". Right? Don't have too many of those here,either.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM

Anybody remember The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe? The spies had emptied his toothpaste and shaving cream tubes looking for spy stuff and gotten them back into the wrong tubes... poor guy comes home and tries to brush his teeth... then checks the tube - which says toothpaste - (still one of the funniest movies in moviedom)!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:15 PM

"vinegar rinse makes you hair lovely and shiny - but you end up smelling like a chip shop."

And what's wrong with that?


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:17 PM

Mrrzy, I don't hink I've seen that one, but it kinda sounds like "The Man with One Shoe" with Tom Hanks. Same one possibly?

Love, annamill (still wanna write annap - cheez)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ely
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:10 PM

I work a shift as a cook's assistant here in the college dining hall, and one of my jobs is to clean out the ice cream machine, wash the parts, and put it back together (it's one of those big machines that has three "spigots"--two flavors and twist). This involves flushing out the chambers with cold water, removing the front panel with the spigots on it, pulling out the mixing blades, and then reaching through to the back of the machine to pull out the pegs that turn the blades.

One day, after the machine had been worked on but still wasn't working properly (although nobody told me this), I went to clean it. When I started to take it apart, I found that the side that mixes the chocolate was still full of clotted mix. I had to scoop it out as best I could and then reach--full arm's length--through to get the peg. I felt like James Herriot with his arm in a cow and came out covered to the shoulder in stale ice-cream mix.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:53 PM

I think we are talking about the same thing Dave - the person who used to put the petrol in the car and check the oil, water, tyre pressures, etc.

Self-service was already popular in 1978 but some people, particularly older people, used to like being served. Times have changed... in those days, we had a number of customers who didn't even know how to open the bonnet (hood to you) of thier cars.

Sticking with cars, I remember Mark telling me of someone topping up the hydraulic reservoir on a Citroen with water which could have been interesting. A very expensive mistake too if I remember correctly. I could be totaly wrong on this but I have a feeling that the Citroen instructions were to replace EVERYTHING in the brake and suspension system.

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:07 PM

I decided I was going to get rid of the weeds at the side of my house. I bought that poisonous weed killer stuff and poured it all down the side wall near the foundation where the weeds were. I went into the house to do some laundry. An hour later, I came back outside to do some chores in the backyard. I was shocked! The weeds were trembling! I thought to myself, what a horrible way to die.
Then I realized I had turned on the dryer and the dryer vent was blowing on the weeds.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:16 PM

Jon, Mark and I should get together and share a few tales. And annmil....Nothing wrong with your suggestion and its done all the time. Matter of fact, you adjust the valves on a hydraulic lifter Chevy with the engine running.....Most of us were bright enough to use a shield however. Most wrenches had a rocker cover with the center cut out for just that purpose. I still have one.

Our teens were constantly playing tricks on each other and their friends with my sauces. The hottest you will find BTW, is "Endorphin Rush" made by Dave of "Dave's Insanity Sauce." One night I found one of the guys showering at 3 AM. It seems a "joke" had backfired when he scratched his nuts without washing thoroughly first.

AND...............

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who went around belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:35 PM

"Brylcreeeeemm, a little dab'll do ya'"...unless you are a 14 yr old kid who mistakes it for toothpaste...*blush*

but...the BEST was my good buddy who was renting a room at my house years ago....he wanted a peanut butter sandwich, but we were out of 'crunchy'...so he rooted thru the cupboards and found a jar of chopped nuts, which he mixed in to give the P-nut butter proper texture....EXCEPT that what it actually was, was spare kitty litter!...clay-like chunks of NOT chewable texture!...to his credit, he TOLD us the story later...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:43 PM

Oh wait! I've got one. I may have shared this already another time; I don't know. Anyway we have one of those little electric coffee grinders... you put the beans in there, put the lid on, then push the button. One day I was grinding coffee and it didn't stop when I let up on the button. I thought, well, the switch is stuck, I'll just take the top off.

Coffee grounds flew everywhere before I realized I should UNPLUG it. That's the only time that's ever happened. Unless it's happened to Mister and he just hasn't told me....

A couple weeks ago we took our blackpowder rifles over to a friend's for a little target shooting. One of them is a percussion-cap rifle Mister inherited from my dad. Before loading it, Mister decided to pop a couple of caps on it to make sure it wasn't clogged up or anything - but didn't run the ramrod down it. Daddy hadn't been hunting in about 5-6 years - no way it was loaded. So he popped a cap. And popped another cap. Decided to pop one more, and .... BOOOOOOM! He turned around white as a ghost and said, That was NOT supposed to happen.

Daddy had left a pretty good load in that rifle! It blew a hole in the dirt bigger than your fist. We decided it was Daddy's last joke from beyond the grave. I could see him laughing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:47 PM

That is disgusting Bill, but it reminds me of the good old days when at some party we had way too much to drink and smoke and had run out of munchies. Someone put out a bowl of doggy chow and everyone dug in without having a clue what they were munching on.

LN


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:18 PM

well, doggy chow won't really HURT you..*grin*..(my cousin, at about 4-5 yrs old, LOVED dog biscuits...had to hide them from him)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Micca
Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:58 AM

a little of topic, I worked for several years in a University dept that was part of a Pharmacy dept, so we had access to the pharmaceutical prep equipment for pills powders and creams. For a wedding present for couple of colleagues, the research group gave the bride and groom a special 7 pound (3.5kg) jar of KY jelly. Which caused much hilarity when it was unwrapped at the reception...
It wasnt until the bride and groom returned to work that we discovered that a colleague had used the departments prep equipment and blended in a liberal dose of local anaesthetic.....
They did not discover this until it was distributed around the vital parts of BOTH partys; it took 12 hours for the effect to wear off...
They(and we) got revenge a few months later, but thats another story..


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall)
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:37 AM

When using Tiger Balm, be sure to wash your hands afterwards before rubbing your eyes. Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, don't keep it in the same pocket as your lip balm when camping. Once again, Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rich


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: kimmers
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:51 AM

Sterile lubricant (read: K-Y) and styling gel are amazingly close in composition. At the VA Hospital when I was a med student (and broke, and short on sleep) I used to use the Surgilube in my hair to style it after a bad night of no sleep on call. The male students used to use it to shave; said it worked pretty well.

I once put Vaseline in my hair my mistake. The jar of sooper-dooper Dippity-Doo and the jar of Vaseline were next to each other on my dresser.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 01:12 AM

Rich! Rog forgot to wash the Tiger Balm off his hands one night, after putting it on my shoulders. When his hands *wandered* a little later he had a hot twidgetted mama on his hands!! Sheesh, what's with you guys and not remembeing where your hands have been?**BG**

DougeR, sounds like an excellent definition, although in a multi-cat house, I'd have to say feeding time, with the phone ringing, someone at the door with resultant Dog on Intruder Alert, and the knock of someone on ICQ all at the same time, runs a close second!

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 03:26 AM

We all heard the story of Micca and the tube of Savlon on Thursday night (sounds like it should have been written by Enid Blyton or JK Rowlings.... Five stick with KY Jelly.... nah!), let that be a lesson to you!

Oh, and never use Deep Heat (presumably the same as Fiery Jack - hot, penetrating muscle rub) as toothpaste. Aged 4, tall enough to reach the bathroom shelf, but still unable to read, mistook one for the other.... can never be in the same room again, as even one whiff of it makes me heave stupendously and instantaneously...... even the memory is making me.... excuse me....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM

One song I sing is "Drag queen blues" by Richard Digance - which starts with the line "My friend George is a drag queen called Nancy". Earlier this year I was in the Endeavour in Whitby (North Yorkshire, England} with a singing crowd. When it was my turn I launched, full voiced, into said song. As I was half way through the second verse I suddenly recalled that around 10 minutes earlier a group of people had just sat down in the alcove immediately behind me. My brain suddenly registered that one of the group was a six-foot transvestite dressed all in black. "WHOOPS!", I thought, followed bo "Oh Sod it!" as I went on to complete the song, followed by a VERY big round of applause from the rest of my crowd, who had also noticed my gaffe, and had been waiting to see if I realised what was behind me.
Luckily the restrained themselves from the Pantomoime Chorus of "He's Behind You!!!"
QUACK!
GtD.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:29 AM

Not as silly as Nick Dow, not the slimmest of singers.... doing a gig in a biker pub, and singing Jenny of the Moor. Everything was quiet and peaceful until he had a senior moment and sang 'seven long years I've been patiently waiting, for just one glimpse of my Willie-o....'

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:54 AM

I've just embarrassed myself by bursting out laughing in the college library! Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:15 AM

ooo very funny...

just been away from the mudcat for a weekend and look what I miss!!

Okay... King... (Kris)

The chicken kiev things... It was those chicken kiev balls, my friend put her fork into one of the little blighters to eat one....

And the buttery, creamy kiev sauce inside shot out with huge force, and spattered all up her arm...

They had just come out of the oven, and were probably 180 degrees plus or similar (very hot) and she got blistered all up her arm.

We had to go and see the school nurse (too young and silly to go to the doctors) and explain how she got burnt (from the kievs) and hope she believed us... there you go... beware the chicken kiev...

Liz.... very very funny...

Ella


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 AM

Kat that is pretty funny about Rog and the Tiger Balm.
Thanks for the tip, I shall try it sometime.

:)


Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:54 AM

just remembered something I did this week.....

was singing A Stor Mo Chroi at a gig - I sing it acappella...

Going through it fine... and I freeze up on the second verse... I managed to keep going, by ad libbing the whole verse - and made up my own...

I couldn't even look at the rest of the band as I knew they were laughing their socks off at me.. Managed to right myself by the last verse.

Thanks heavens I wasn't drinking that night!!

Ella


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:01 AM

I did a v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v. silly thing when I was walking to the bus station earlier on today (i.e. about an hour ago). We were walking through the park on the way and for some weird reason I decided I would walk into a one of those little concrete pillars (I forget what they're called). Anyway, my boyfriend, being the kind, loving soul that he is, decided he would prevent me doing this and tried to push me out of the way. However, I didn't move my feet so he tried pulling instead (he knows how my CRAZY mind works!). Just as he was pulling, I moved and he nearly fell over backwards, taking me with him. Luckily, he has quite good balance so we didn't end up sprawling. All the damage was superficial, i.e. he bashed his nose on my head and his shoulder attacked my chin.

I still got the bus though!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:03 AM

Ely - when you mentioned James Herriot it reminded me of an incident that happened to me.

Hubby is vet, and I was on a farm call with him. I had washed my hair in strawberry shampoo...well the bees loved it. I ran to the truck with angry bees chasing me, jumped in, rolled up the window, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then those angry bees flew around to the other side of the truck and came through the open window on that side. I had to bail out and run like crazy. Needless to say, no more strawberry shampoo!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:24 AM

IT CAN"T BE DEC 11 ALREADY!! GADS! Well, anyway. Speaking of Chicken Kiev, I made it for my first husband when we were newly wed. I didn't have any toothpicks to hold them closed, but I had plenty of straight pins which I HAD planned to remove before serving them. I forgot! My new husband accused me of trying to murder him.

Love, annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:26 AM

Annamill, that was the remake, not nearly as funny as the original. Which was Le Grand Blond Avec Une Chaussure Noire, with Bernard Blier and I can't remember who else. Probably mid-70's.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Mary in Kentucky
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM

That was me above with the strawberry shampoo. I really don't go around anonymous.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 12:02 PM

Frying bacon and eggs in the nude. I wear an apron now. All the best. Seamus


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 08:59 PM

On the subject of uncontrollable laughter in libraries, when I was at University (circa-1980) I found in the periodicals library a magazine called - if I recall correctly the "Journal of Improbabilities", which was an American publication lampooning scientific papers.
Does anyone out there know if it still exists, and if so where I might find a copy?
Do you realise how impossible it is to remain silent in a library whilst trying to suppress a laugh? It makes ecverything even more hilarious!
GtD


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM

Rule for Life #52--Never put crab legs in a pencil sharpener.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Rollo
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:39 PM

Not been in here for a while and coming back to find this wunnerfull topic... hehe...
but lets talk about this youngster, sitting in his room and watching a video he is still five years too young to watch... his sister enters the room, and he jumps up and forward in order to push the "off"-button... but jumps too short... now imagine him, naked except his shorts, with his right hand still stuck in there, his left digit only inches away from the video recorder, and he saying to his sister: "I... I... was copying this tape for a friend."
it was the same friend of mine who was angry because the beautiful young singlwoman from the other side of the street had discovered something and closed the curtains while showering. what did he do? he hid his identity by wearing his batman costume and then slipped over the road to snatch the ventiles from her bike's pneus.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Susan A-R
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM

Um . . . Only two pieces of culinary advice here. First: Ice cubes and other liquids in a cuisinart do not work well, unless you want to wash windows, walls and self in the liquid in question (how does yourt sound?) Also, infant formula does not whip in the same fashion as heavy cream. I know, I've tried (the bottle looked like a cream bottle, but my friends were avid recyclers, you see.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM

When I was little I got my hand stuck in a stereo 8-track player...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: kimmers
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:18 AM

Geoff the Duck, you're thinking of the Journal of Irreproducible Results, an amazingly funny publication. My med school had a subscription to it, and it was filed right in there with all of the serious scientific journals. I used to read it whenever I had the chance.

I believe it still exists, and if I'm not mistaken they have a website.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 05:35 AM

I walked all the way to school when I was 13, with my skirt tucked into my underwear - to my horror, past EVERYONE....

I have fallen on my arse in the Louvre, and fallen down the steps in the Musee Dorsay.

And was once saying how much I found a tutor annoying at uni, and not being very nice about her at all...

And she was stood behind me!

Arghhhhhhhhhh

Then, I was working as a just out of uni Graphic Designer... and visiting a client at a community farm project, who wanted some publicity designed for them.

They had invited me to come and see what they were about, to take me around the adventure walk, to see the wetlands area and bird sactuary, and to meet the people helping to run the farm...

As I was walking through a field after going to see a huge (and I mean enormous) Shire horse. I was chatting away, and though... hot breath on my neck... I am being followed. I looked round and I had a new friend... harry, (the horse) had taken a shine to me... and was right behind me with his muzzle right behind my ear, cuddling into me, and then sticking his head into my bag...

I had an apple in my bag, and he had smelt it out, and wanted that apple... had to surrender the apple, before he would let me carry on any further...

Ella talks to the animals...

Never work with animals or children!

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: sian, west wales
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 07:12 AM

Kris, re: the aftermath of the Chemistry Set(s)... it's actually yet another mathematical wonder. Just as the sum of two chemistry sets is greater than the component parts, the sum of the anger of one mother plus the anger of another mother is greater than the component parts.

Ella, chicken is seriously dangerous meat. I microwaved some once, stuck in a fork and it exploded!

Sian


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Troll
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:18 AM

Don't EVER jump into a swimming pool wearing a full suit of armor no matter HOW hot you are.
It's not far to the bottom but it's a helluva long way to the surfac.

troll... No, I didn't do it. A friend did.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:31 AM

Leaning over the rocks one one leg, at Portland Bill, Dorset, to rinse sand out of a shoe wasn't very clever either... those rocks are slippery and the tide would have taken me straight out into the Races (seven, yes count them, seven currents meet there and it is never less than choppy, and that is in a dead calm elsewhere!). Thank heaven for bigger rocks to hold onto.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:32 AM

Oh, and never try to cool down in hot countries by pouring ice cold coke over your head... a friend did it in Spain one year, and ended up with a delightful spiky punk hairdo, and a cloud of admiring flies.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM

One of the first lectures I had to give, I spent over 5 minutes at the start trying to get the projector to work as the rather large lecture theatre filled up. After another five minutes of them watching me struggle I was about to admit defeat when one of the students informed me that I had to take the lens cap off...
Not as stupid, however, as the night when I was out and under the influence of a slightly mind-altering substance when, sitting by the side of the dance floor, I was sure I'd wet myself. I refused to move all evening, convinced of this, until I got up to sneak out at the end of the night and realised I'd sat in a pool of spilt beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM

never go swimming in your undies in the hope your friends will look after your clothes..........
Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: sophocleese
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:46 AM

Oh Patrish that brought back a memory. Several guys were skinny dipping in a local pond when they were invaded by another, mixed, group of teenagers. All except one of the guys heard the others coming and managed to get something on before the girls came over the hill. One guy got caught in the water. He stood there waist deep pleading for somebody, anybody, to throw him some clothes or a towel. He was given a sock.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bardford
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:07 PM

Another thing a person should try to avoid is rinsing contact lenses with hydrogen peroxide before inserting them....


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Micca
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:24 PM

DO NOT sniff a large flask to see if the Ammonia producing reaction has started.it took me 2 mins to regain conciousness, and do not give the kiss of life to anyone in a Chem. lab in case they have inhaled, HCN, SO2or SO3 or Br


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM

yeow... bardford I have done that loads of times...

last night I forgot to put ANY solutions in the lense case (mind on other things)

and this morning they were all crusty....

Ella


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bert
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 01:32 PM

If you're driving a stake into the ground with a sledgehammer - DON'T hold the stake with your thumb over the top.

Bert- (We don't have to beat our kids, we just give them the tools.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: P05139
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 08:52 AM

How about getting a giggle fit in the middle of a sad song? One word on that ... AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 09:28 AM

Don't mix up the contact lens cleaning solution with the wetting solution.
Don't stick your hand in the vacuum cleaner carpet attachment without turning it off - it ate my entire hand.
Don't mix up the hair spray and Lysol.
Always put the basket in the electric coffee maker - or else a spray of scalding water and disapproving glares from the office temp.
Don't try to reheat a cup of coffee by pouring it through the coffee maker - that temp hated me. The filter clogs and it takes twenty pots of clean water to clear it.
Don't drop a lemon candy into a can of diet soda to make it more palateable - it becomes a sticky volcano on your boss' desk.
My most recent embarrassing moment - my office chair is on wheels. I leaned over to pick up a dropped pencil. It shot out from under me and ran into the metal desk behind me with a loud clang. I fell forward into a metal trash can which overturned also with a clang spreading an assortment of debris everywhere. I was laughing too hard to get up and tears were running down my face leading all to believe I was injured. I give them credit - no one laughed until the following day. Then on the way home, I remembered the event and started to laugh out loud again - on the subway train. Amazing how easy it is to get a seat if people think you are crazy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Trevor
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:45 AM

I was halfway through singing 'The Vicar and The Frog' one night when I twigged that the person sitting opposite me, looking me straight in the eye, was a plain-clothes vicar. Totally lost it which meant I could pretend I'd forgotten the words.

BTW How silly is it to carry on past the motorway services with the gauge on red, just to see if you can make it to the next one?


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Troll
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM

Don't ever, as a friend of mine did, take a piece of white-hot iron from the forge with your hand instead of the tongs.

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Gervase
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 08:11 AM

I once worked in an office where there was a communal microwave that was used and abused more than a piece of kitchen equipment ever should be.
I once bought some snails (pretentious, moi?) from the nearby deli and thought I'd be a smartarse and warm them up in the microwave. The results were spectacular as the contents of each little shell reached boiling point, tried to expand and then exploded like little mortar bombs.
In desperation I dragged open the door to get them out, but the little buggers continued exploding as I hurled the plate towards the bin, covering me and three other people in the kitchen with gloops of dead snail and garlic butter.
Then there was the time I nicked a jar of white phosphorous (don't ask - but like most kids, I was seriously iinto pyrtechnics) and tried sawing a small stick of the stuff with a hacksaw.
Of course, once out of water and exposed the the air, there was spontaneous ignition - resulting in a pool of molten burning phosphorous on my bedroom table and panic as I rushed out for the CO2 extinguisher my father kept in the kitchen (he always was paranoid - wisely, with me as a son) and blasted the blazing pool before throwing a wet towel over the stinking mess on the table.
It did the trick - but when I turned the light out I found I had my very own planetarium, with tiny fragments of phosphorous glowing greenly on the floor, walls and ceiling, and I spend what seemed like hours with a pair of tweezers and damp cotton buds removing the evidence before my parents returned.
Return they did - to ask why I'd set fire to the kitchen bin, which was giving off some very acrid fumes. The sodding towel had dropped some of the phosphorous onto dry stuff in the bin, which had started the conflagration all over again.
Now I've got kids of my own, I have to bite my tongue sometimes when saying "Don't do this or that", knowing full well what a little sod I used to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 10:44 AM

in the moor & coast tent late night extra in bridgenorth last year, there weren't enough benches or chairs left by the time i arrived back from town in the early hours.

i had my pushchair with guitar,squeezer,& bar,& also my 'handy' folding 3 legged stool.

i found a convenient spot & placed it down. i'd not noticed that the ground was ever so slightly uneven, so when i sat on the stool, well i felt i was turning cartwheels! went arse over tit straight into someone sat singing & playing a blues number- so embarassing! i was somewhat disorientated-didn't kno what had happened![well at that time of night after a lot of sinining & wixy who would]

anyway some very nice & helpful young chaps picked me up off the floor & set me in a chair- with another dwinky right as rain again & more songs & a bacon & egg butty!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 12:22 PM

It is always a pleasure to look back on yourself through the eyes of children. This weekend my son and his friend (both 11) were on a jitney going back to our car after a festival and couldn't stand the fact that some (slightly older) girls had shown an interest in them and tried to give them flowers. Their generic comment was "I don't want to play with girls--never." Ah--what a couple of years will do.

Many years ago, I felt a bike I was passenging on was going too fast and the driver would not slow down--so I jumped off with things in my hands. Won't do that again soon! Tried to jump onto a carousel a few years later. The laws of physics paid me off for that one, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: fogie
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 12:38 PM

Friend caught thrush at a festival, and having access to antibiotics for his sheep he started taking them. When he asked my advice he had been on them for 3-4days, and was worried that he was getting worse and worse! Projection slide in med-school of a mans penis he had cleaned with dettol neat- it had an exquisitely neat half-moon bite taken out of the glans!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Genie
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 07:44 PM

LOL, Roger, Bill D, LTS, Troll!

Well, my brother once brushed his teeth with "Ting" (an athlete's foot preparation) by mistake.

Another lesson learned from my then teen-age brother: Do not stick your finger into the face of an open-mouthed box turtle, pointing and saying, "Oh, look! He's smiling at me!"

And, from sad experience, (yes, Kat) I can advise all of you to wash your hands thoroughly after applying Ben-Gay to sore muscles, especially if you're gonna rub your eyes -- or any other sensitive areas on yourself or your partner.

Seamus, don't fry ANYTHING in the nude -- not even in a bikini!

Never bathe a reluctant cat unless you are wearing goalie gear.

Lessons from my childhood years: -Do not attempt to find out whether an iron is on by running your thumb down the surface of the iron. -Do not slide down a snow-covered terrace in your Sunday clothes if you own a dog. -Never put an unknown cocoon in an open jar on top your refrigerator for the larvae to hatch. (We ended up with a houseful of miniature praying mantises.)

Re fish: If you need to separate a fish from other fish overnight, do not place it in a teacup. Fish jump.

Re cars: Never check your oil while the motor is running.

And, if you are a teen-age boy lighting a buddy's farts, do not stand behind him when you strike the match.

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 04:37 AM

When desperate for a "sit down" visit to Mr Toilet, but holding on gamely because also imperative to get all festival camping gear off of car before wife goes to work - do NOT lift leg to climb over garden gate.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Yorkshire Tony
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 07:22 PM

I can relate to a number of these - in particular remove contact lenses BEFORE chopping chillies!

A good trick to pull on team members who always turn up late is to anoint their jockstrap with a small amount of Deep Heat (or similar) - they tend not to notice until they start to warm up unless you overdo it. The results are particularly funny in a rowing boat!

I also was a terror as a child - the worst was the mixture of red phosphorus, magnesium powder and potassium chlorate - I lost a lot of skin to that one and was very thankful that I wore glasses. Another time we made nitrogen tri-iodide and sprinkled a little behind the Chemistry master's desk - he walked in to a 21 gun salute from his feet.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 07:29 PM

In a lab I was once in, a professor was introducing a new graduate student to an apparatus. Pointing at a diffusion pump (a device that has boiling oil in it), he said, "Don't ever touch that -- it's hot as hell." "You mean *that*?" asked the student, and prodded it with his forefinger. He lost the first joint.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 08:43 PM

Genie:

Thanks! "Never bathe a reluctant cat unless you are wearing goalie gear." has been added to my sigblock "Fortune Cookie" file!

Silliest thing I ever did was propose to a girl two days after meeting her! Didn't turn out too bad though, we've been married >18 years!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Genie
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 11:13 PM

Sounds like you can empathize with the cat bath thing, WD.

Re your "silly thing" tale, it's nice to know that sometimes insanity actually pays off! Congrats on your 18 years.

Genie


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Mudcat time: 26 May 9:45 AM EDT

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