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The war betwn the US & Canada

InOBU 16 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM
Rick Fielding 16 Dec 00 - 11:14 AM
InOBU 16 Dec 00 - 11:23 AM
Wotcha 16 Dec 00 - 11:33 AM
InOBU 16 Dec 00 - 11:39 AM
Ebbie 16 Dec 00 - 12:10 PM
McGrath of Harlow 16 Dec 00 - 12:20 PM
Devilmaster 16 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM
InOBU 16 Dec 00 - 12:35 PM
Devilmaster 16 Dec 00 - 12:36 PM
Devilmaster 16 Dec 00 - 12:37 PM
Devilmaster 16 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM
Naemanson 16 Dec 00 - 01:55 PM
Rick Fielding 16 Dec 00 - 02:20 PM
InOBU 16 Dec 00 - 02:22 PM
mousethief 16 Dec 00 - 02:31 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 16 Dec 00 - 02:43 PM
SeanM 16 Dec 00 - 02:54 PM
Susan of DT 16 Dec 00 - 03:01 PM
Skeptic 16 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM
Little Hawk 16 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM
John Hardly 16 Dec 00 - 03:32 PM
Hollowfox 16 Dec 00 - 03:34 PM
MarkS 16 Dec 00 - 03:50 PM
GUEST,kendall 16 Dec 00 - 10:10 PM
Rick Fielding 16 Dec 00 - 11:03 PM
Troll 16 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM
Ebbie 17 Dec 00 - 05:12 AM
Willie-O 17 Dec 00 - 07:31 AM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 17 Dec 00 - 07:33 AM
Clinton Hammond2 17 Dec 00 - 08:03 AM
Naemanson 17 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM
Troll 17 Dec 00 - 12:54 PM
Clinton Hammond2 17 Dec 00 - 01:31 PM
Little Hawk 17 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM
Troll 17 Dec 00 - 07:15 PM
ddw 17 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM
GUEST 17 Dec 00 - 08:25 PM
Troll 17 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM
Devilmaster 17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM
Devilmaster 17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM
GUEST 18 Dec 00 - 08:58 AM
Irish sergeant 18 Dec 00 - 09:12 AM
Willie-O 18 Dec 00 - 09:22 AM
GUEST,John Leeder 18 Dec 00 - 12:19 PM
GUEST 18 Dec 00 - 01:18 PM
Steve Latimer 18 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM
mousethief 18 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM
GUEST,John Leeder 18 Dec 00 - 02:44 PM
Steve Latimer 18 Dec 00 - 02:51 PM
Troll 18 Dec 00 - 04:02 PM
mousethief 18 Dec 00 - 04:46 PM
Skeptic 18 Dec 00 - 06:22 PM
Pixie 18 Dec 00 - 06:32 PM
Devilmaster 18 Dec 00 - 06:33 PM
mousethief 18 Dec 00 - 06:33 PM
Devilmaster 18 Dec 00 - 06:36 PM
mousethief 18 Dec 00 - 06:40 PM
Devilmaster 18 Dec 00 - 07:12 PM
Devilmaster 18 Dec 00 - 07:14 PM
Troll 18 Dec 00 - 07:22 PM
ddw 18 Dec 00 - 09:15 PM
InOBU 18 Dec 00 - 09:19 PM
ddw 18 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM
InOBU 18 Dec 00 - 09:29 PM
Troll 18 Dec 00 - 11:14 PM
mkebenn 19 Dec 00 - 07:44 AM
NightWing 19 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM
Troll 19 Dec 00 - 01:59 PM
Troll 19 Dec 00 - 02:01 PM
Amergin 19 Dec 00 - 02:03 PM
Jimmy C 19 Dec 00 - 02:42 PM
Clinton Hammond2 19 Dec 00 - 02:52 PM
Jim Krause 19 Dec 00 - 03:00 PM
InOBU 19 Dec 00 - 03:33 PM
Troll 19 Dec 00 - 05:14 PM
NightWing 19 Dec 00 - 05:20 PM
Troll 19 Dec 00 - 10:31 PM
ddw 20 Dec 00 - 12:06 AM
Jimmy C 20 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM
Steve Latimer 20 Dec 00 - 10:30 AM
Jimmy C 20 Dec 00 - 05:45 PM
Irish sergeant 21 Dec 00 - 11:25 AM
MMario 21 Dec 00 - 11:31 AM
NightWing 21 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM
kendall 22 Dec 00 - 08:37 AM
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Subject: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM

A recent thread has reaised an interesting question, Should the US and Canada go to war against each other, and if so, why?
Well... In my opinion, contrary to that I expressed in the post - where would I go to evade the draft, I now remember, looking in the mirror at my grey hair, it is unlikely I would be drafted, and so, for the first time in my life, war looks like a good option! So, I would say, send in the marines, because...
1. We may loose, as Canada is not Grenada... and then we'd get a working health care system...
2. We could all say "eh..." eh?
3. Canadaian comidians would not have to leave Canada to come to the US and get jobs... They could come to Chicago and stay in Canada.
Now, when I was in law school, a professor there said that he worked with a group from the Canadian Maritime provences who where looking into American Statehood if Quebec quit the nation... The last good reason to fight a war with Canada would be to settle the issue of the Canadian Maritime Provences,... They would extend down to Florida...
Hawkishly knashing my teath at you Molson drinking, Moose eaters up north - our future masters
Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:14 AM

Hey Larry, ANYTHING that would force Americans to learn a LITTLE bit about our country would help.

Actually we're probably better off the less they know!

Rick


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:23 AM

I agree... When Genie and I used to go to Quebec for vactions in the 80's it was affordable and there were VERY few of our countryfolk there, then after Locherbie, folks got scared of flying and the Place d'Royal became filled with folks saying in loud voces "Hey Martha, Look at all the CUTE french people!" and the prices shot up through the roof! Now we have to go up to Sept Illes before we can find any peace and quiet - well quiet except for the sound of saws creating a grey waistland where there once where hunter gatherer natives hunting Carabou and Salmon... Hey, even Canada has it's faults,... eh?
Cheers, neighbor,
Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Wotcha
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:33 AM

Of course in a few years the Canadians may not offer an armed force to oppose ... they made their airborne forces disappear at a stroke of the pen (they were naughty boys in Somalia ...)... and they tried to suppress interservice rivalry in the 60s by calling all their forces the Canadian Armed Forces (they have air and naval elements which still insist on wearing a different colour uniform than the land forces).
Maybe if they militarize their rugby teams, they'll do ok. They can certainly sing ... although "North Atlantic Squadron" should only be used in the most offensive of combined arms operations.
Cheers,
Brian


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:39 AM

Canada with no army!? OUR KINDA WAR! How dare you threaten our great nation by sending bears accross the boarder! Put 'em up Canada!


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:10 PM

Shall we vote?


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:20 PM

If so, better have Canada doing the counting...


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM

Hey, if we had a third of the American Defense budget, Canada would have the world's greatest fighting force. But it doesn't matter anyways.... Americans were so worried about their election that while everyones attention was on Florida, we had a full month and had taken over parts of New England. Until we realized what we were getting, then gave it back.

and speaking about elections, we had ours a week or so after the American one started... Us crazy canucks must have done something right, they declared the winner an hour and a half after the polls closed. And they didn't have to take it back. Our ballots are simple, a piece of paper with the names and an empty circle beside each one. You make a mark with a pencil (remember those things from school?) in the circle matching the person you want to vote for. It doesn't matter what kind of mark you make..... an 'X', a checkmark, a smily face, road map to grandma's, it all works. And i hope you Americans enjoy the next 4 years as you will never hear the end of this mess you made. Gore was cheated, or the other side, sayin Gore was a sore loser. Bush's reign will always be the 'what-if' presidency.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:35 PM

Hey Devilmaster!
Make sure you guys attack during a US election! We wont notice until it's over! - Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:36 PM

and btw, i dont care who won your election....


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:37 PM

well with a whole month to attack, i dont think it would be too terribly hard at all. Just tell all the americans were comin down to help them in the election.... classic trojan horse


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM

I think Jimmy Kimmel said it best..... Between Al Gore and George Bush, you have a better selection of meals on an airplane....... flying coach...... from Calcutta to Timbuktu.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Naemanson
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 01:55 PM

You know, this would be the second time the US and Canada went to war! I grew up near one of the old forts established dureing the famous(?) Aroostook War. I took the following from: http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~godwin/reference/aroostook.html

The Aroostook War was an undeclared, bloodless "war" that occured in 1839. The peace treaty in 1783 had not satisfactorily determined what is the boundary between New Brunswick and what is now Maine. The boundary dispute worsened after Maine gained statehood (1820) and, disregarding British claims, began granting land to settles in the valley of the Aroostook River. The king of the Netherlands was asked to arbitrate the disbute, but the U.S. Senate rejected his award in 1832, although the British accepted it.

Canadian lumberjacks entered the Aroostook region to cut timber during the winter of 1838-1839, and in February they seized the American land agent who had been dispatched to expel them. The "war" was now under way. Maine and New Brunswick called out their militiamen, and Congress, at the instigation of Maine, authorized a force of 50,000 men and appropriated $10 million to meet the emergency. Maine actually sent 10,000 troops to the disputed area. President Martin Van Buren dispatched General Winfield Scott to the "war" zone, and Scott arranged an agreement (March 1839) between officials of Maine and New Brunswick that averted actual fighting. Britain agreed to refer the dispute to a boundary commission, and the matter settled in 1842 by the Webster-Ashburton Treaty.

The compromise reached by Daniel Webster and 1st Baron Ashburton (Alexander Baring) awarded 7,015 square miles to the United States and 5,012 to Great Britain. Retention by the British of the northern area assured them of year-round overland military communications with Montreal. Webster used a map, said to have been marked with a red line by Benjamin Franklin at Paris in 1782, in persuading Maine and Massachusetts to accept the agreement. Britain agreed to pay these states $150,000 each, and they were to be reimbursed by the United States for expenses incurred defending the area against encroachment.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:20 PM

Damn, during the late sixties I housed a lot of draft resistors, now I'd have to BE one! Hmmmm, guess I could go to Quebec.

Rick


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:22 PM

Ya learn sumat ever day! Thanks for the info! - Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:31 PM

I think it's so cute the way Canadians think they're an independent nation.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:43 PM

All we would do is remove the road signs and your army would be totally lost. Even if they did find Canada we could just re-direct them to shoot at Detroit...(Detroit would shoot back, and they would end up invading the USA and defeating themselves in the confusion)


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: SeanM
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 02:54 PM

"When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!"

Reason enough right there, if you ask me.

M


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Susan of DT
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:01 PM

(from dick greenhaus) Canadians are already preparing for an invasion of the US! Over 80 percent of the Canadian population is massed within 100 miles of the border!


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Skeptic
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM

Not to mention the insidous infiltration of agent provocateurs who flock to Florida every fall and winter. I mean, can we really be sure that the whole elction fiasco in Florida wasn't part of a subverse effort to soften up the US for a spring invasion?

Well, go ahead and invade. And win. That'll show you.

Regards John


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM

Yup, we're all ready at the start line, fully equipped with snowshoes, prefab igloos, phony beaver tails that stick on with velcro, plastic moose antlers, baseball caps on backwards, and Canadian Tire money in case we run out of rations while investing Washington...

Ready or not, eh? Here we come!

- LH

p.s. BTW, we're all sort of hoping that Quebec does secede and joins the USA. If so, within 4 years or less your whole financial and political situation will be so buggered up that you'll beg us to walk in and take over...


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:32 PM

Who says "Imminent Domain" is finished?


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Hollowfox
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:34 PM

Well, let's not forget the famous Pig War of 1839. That's the one that started when an Englishman's pig was shot by a Yank (it was probably rooting in his garden) on San Juan Island (on the border of what are now British Columbia and Washington state). It had never been established just which sovereign nation actually owned the island, and both countries sent troops. The soldiers and warships spent a summer there without a shot being fired, and in the end a pfennig was tossed. The United States got the islands, and very pretty they are, too.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: MarkS
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 03:50 PM

The problems in Florida were caused by Canadian snowbirds voting in the recent election. (Not being a citizen not much of a bar to voting in Florida anyway). Only used to marking a paper ballot with pencil, they found the Vote-O-Matic machines confusing and the rest is history. As the song goes, for troubles in the USA
Blame Canada!
MarkS


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 10:10 PM

What is it that you would like to know Rick? Or. I should say, what do you think WE should know? If you think we are ignorant about Canada...you should watch Jay Leno doing his Jwalking. Those geeks cant even find the USA!! let alone Canada.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:03 PM

Jeez Kendall, wouldn't apply to you anyway. Mainers are honorary canucks! You got the weather, the accents, the music, and the toughness. Hell, I'll bet you've shoveled a few tonnes of snow in your day. (Like I've been doin' this week)

Although it WOULD be nice if Yanks knew that we haven't had any British influence on our Govt. in over a hundred years. The only Royal figure that'll be giving us direction will be Dubya!

Rick


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 16 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM

You have a Government in Canada? Why? Whats there to govern? Buncha moose and a few Frenchies in Quebec and the rest is ice and snow and pine trees.
Did the Queen give you permission to say that?
And someone needs to tell you guys that snowmobiles don't work where there ain't no snow! Betcha didn't know that didja? Most of the US is NOT snow-bound most of the year. Yer gonna look REAL silly trompin' down the beach in snowshoes.

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 05:12 AM

Devilmaster, don't be quite so sanguine about your quick election results. The US has had many an election where the winner was projected afternoon of election day. No problem- except that people farther west lost their motivation to vote.

However: That works fine ONLY if the election isn't close. This year's US election was basically a tie. If you in Canada had the same situation you might well also have a mess, IMO. Until one gets to recounting, you really have no way of knowing how accurate the published results are. And may never know.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Willie-O
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:31 AM

Dave TAM, we don't need to take down the signs. They can't read 'em anyway.

Only way most Americans seem to be able to get their bearings at all is by asking "is that close to Toronto?" Doesn't work too well east of Quebec City.

And obscure little fracas's in the east and west aside, we have of course had a real war with the States--1812 to 1814 it was. Who won is still debated, but we definitely did remodel that thar White House.

Me and my gang are invading New England next week...

Willie-O, loading up the syrup bombs


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:33 AM

Yeah! and look at what we elected....Politicians who fail to do what they promise, spend money on stupid personal gain motivated issues, and allow the medicare system to crash out of control for lack of money; then blame everyone else for the debt. Not to mention the minister who lost millions (creative accounting?) and was re-elected with a majority dictatorship anyway... Only In Canada eh? pity! (us)


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 08:03 AM

Hey MT!

Tell ya what... we'll have a war, but fight in such subjects as math, geography and world history!

What's the percentage of americans who can't find thier own hometown on an unmarked map of their state??? How myopic do you have to be?

;-)


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Naemanson
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM

Thw War of 1812 was between Britain and the US. Canada was just a convenient territory from which to base Britain's operations.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 12:54 PM

Clinton, that's what you get when your government offers up bread and circuses. There's no longer a need to think for yourself.

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 01:31 PM

Troll... you say that almost like it's a good thing??

;-)


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM

Hey Kendall, it's not so hard for us Canadians to find the USA as you think. We just follow the smog trail. :-)

As for looking funny walking down the beach in snowshoes. Hey, we have cornered the market on looking funny, and we're proud of it. Jim Carrey, William Shatner, John Candy, Joe Clark, John Diefenbaker...take it from me, Canadians know how to look funny. It's one of the choicest weapons in our arsenal. While they're doubled over laughing we kick 'em in the you-know-where!

- LH


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:15 PM

No, Clinton. I say it sorrowfully.

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: ddw
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM

Here in Windsor the ones who realize they're part of Canada still think Canada WON the War of 1812 — they made the U.S. keep Detroit.

;-) david


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 08:25 PM

Our riding had a judicial recount, which was completed in one day plus one evening. T.W.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM

How hard is it to count 37 votes? ***BG***

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM

hey troll, how hard is it to count 37 votes? add metro-dade.......


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM

excuse me..... ask metro-dade


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 08:58 AM

Well, I sure wouldn't want to invade a place that call a hockey team "the Ducks:, doesn't have Tim Hortons, thinks South Park is funny and elects Gw as President. Nope, I'll just stay here and watch it all from a distance...a safe ditance.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:12 AM

Personally I'm against a war with Canada. Why should we do to them what we've done with this country? I really didn't want to see GWjr inflicted on this country. Why would I wish that on Canada? I do hope in all seriousness, we're all having a little bit of fun and this doesn't become an ugly thread. I am proud to be an American but Dad was born in North Bay, Ontario. (We Americans should remember that anyone from either North or SOuth America is an American) Having said that I have to ask the Canadians Do yopu really want dominion over Rosanne Barr? Think about this for a second! You'd also have to have dominion over such stellar personages as Newt Gingrich, Trent Lott, Charles MAnson and dare I say it, Bill Clinton. Kindest reguards, Neil


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Willie-O
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:22 AM

Irish Sarge, I know you mean it in a friendly way but we don't want to be "Americans". I have gone on at length about this before...suffice it to say that we prefer to keep the St Lawrence River, the Great Lakes and the 49th parallel between us and youse Americans.

Even without the likes of R Barr, T Lott and WJ Clinton aside, we have enough assholes up here already! the You Ess has no monopoly on producing them...

Interestingly enough we would also regain dominion over Neil Young and who needs that...

Dave TAM, I completely agree with you about the deficiencies of our current government--even if not about the solution!

W-O


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST,John Leeder
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 12:19 PM

Don't forget the ever-popular War of 1812, North American Sector. Peter Whalley wrote, "Little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost." Actually it was more of a draw -- but a draw between the U.S. and British North America as it existed in 1812 was actually a win for us. We burned Washington, you burned York (now known as Toronto) -- not exactly an even swap in those days. Even nowadays, burning Toronto would be seen as doing us a favour by the rest of the country. (I'm being facetious, as a former Torontonian, back in the days when it was liveable.)

Some sources give a lot of credit to the Canadian militia, others say the British regulars won it all and the local contribution was negligible. Choose your historian with care, to support whichever version of the legend you prefer.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 01:18 PM

Hell, I'll march north just for the Sleeman's Honey Brown. Mike Bennett


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM

Welcome to Canada Mike,

Sleemans is only a start. Moosehead, Alexander Keiths and a bunch of good Micro Breweries combined with a lot of fine music should entice you. I woul recommend that you wait until April to start your March, it's usually bearable here by then.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM

Perhaps we should declare war on Canada just to force them to take back Detroit. And Neil Diamond.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: GUEST,John Leeder
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:44 PM

Come west, Mike, and try some Big Rock.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 02:51 PM

Mousethief;

Them's fightin' words.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 04:02 PM

Tell ya what. You guys can have the entire West Coast AND Florida and we'll take Nova Scotia and Newfoundland.
Deal?

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 04:46 PM

Speak for yourself, Troll. We Ecotopians have no desire to be under the Canadian government, and have them rape our forests the way they're doing to BC's.

Oh wait, I forgot. You vote Republican.

Alex


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Skeptic
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 06:22 PM

Alex Thank you

Regards John


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Pixie
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 06:32 PM

Objection!!!! Speaking as an honourary Maritimer, I do not want to become a citizen of the US! Why don't you guys take Quebec????

Pixie


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 06:33 PM

No deal, Troll. you just want those two provinces for the good beer and great people. (not to mention the backwoods hooch! burp!) speakin of beer......... (chsssshhhhh, glug, glug, glug, glug..... ahh.)


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 06:33 PM

Look, can we just get you guys to take back Detroit and Neil Diamond, and call it pax? All this other stuff is going to be too contentious.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 06:36 PM

hey, i dont want your hand-me-down cities, MT.....


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 06:40 PM

Now Devilmaster, don't get me started on Canadian self-righteousness. I've been really nice so far.

Alex


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 07:12 PM

Its not self-righteousness, but your only offering detroit and neil diamond.... why not maui or oahu, with cindy crawford.... more of a fair deal.....


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Devilmaster
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 07:14 PM

besides, i live in windsor, cross the river to detroit all the time.... it aint that bad of a city.....


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 07:22 PM

Don't want the West Coast and Florida, huh?
You guys are smarter than you look.
And Alex, for your information, I voted for Bugs Bunny.
Get off it Skeptic. You don't even know where those places are. I've still got your atlas, remember?

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: ddw
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:15 PM

If you guys want a real swap, how 'bout Canada takes Detroit and the U.S. takes Quebec?

Sound like a great deal for the U.S.?

Consider this — off the wires tonight:

By Idella Sturino The Canadian Press MONTREAL

A rural Quebec couple selling maple syrup through an English-only Web site will ask the courts to rule whether the province's language laws apply to the Internet.
Stanley and Muriel Reid, who own a small farm in Godmanchester, Que., were charged and threatened with a $302 fine after language officials concluded their Web site violates provincial laws designed to protect French.
They have pleaded not guilty and hired a prominent English-rights lawyer to fight the case. The couple could not be reached Monday for comment.
If their case goes ahead next year, it's expected to be the first to test whether the Charter of the French Language applies to commercial Web sites, lawyer Brent Tyler said Monday.
Tyler argues the 23-year-old law should not apply to commercial Web sites because it's too vague and does not specifically mention the Internet.
Tyler also said the Reids, a fifth-generation farming family, should not have to translate their site into French because almost all the maple syrup they sell is to consumers outside Quebec.
The law requires Quebec-based companies to use French in advertising. It permits other languages as long as French is given equal prominence.
The law also stipulates that French letters must be twice as big as English letters on commercial signs. "What makes this so outrageous is that if you apply the letter of the law, you would have 90 per cent of Web sites in Quebec that would be illegal," said Tyler, noting most sites do not include complete translations.
The Commission de protection de la langue francaise, the government agency which polices infractions to the law, says the Reids must provide a French translation on their Web site.
While the language law does not mention the word Internet, language officials say it applies to commercial Web sites.
"Products available in Quebec stores must be advertised in French on the Web site of a company or dealer which has a place of business in Quebec," the commission states.
The commission passed the file to a Crown attorney after investigating a complaint about the Reid's Web site and the prosecutor decided to go ahead with the case.
The Reids only make about 10 sales a year via the Internet.
"The Web site is probably costing me more than we're making with it," Stanley Reid said recently in an interview.

I think the only reason the U.S. has Detroit now and Canada has Quebec is that the U.S. had first choice.

david


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:19 PM

Having attended trials in Sept Illes, where Innu elders, who spoke no English or French, were tried for tresspass on their own land, without benifit of translation into Innu,... I can believe the above. Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: ddw
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM

Yeah, and if you think Dubya's out to lunch, you should listen to the gibberish Canada's erstwhile leader — Jean Chretien — can come out with. I know bilingual reporters who have covered him, and they say he mangles French almost as badly as he does English.

david


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:29 PM

Gee, maybe the outcome of the war can be an arrainged marrage between Critien and GWB? - Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 11:14 PM

Wouldn't work Larry. Even a Texan has SOME pride.

troll ***ducking and running for cover***


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: mkebenn
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 07:44 AM

Dubya's as Texan as Ted Kennedy, why would we want Quebec, english and spanish are enough to deal with, and I live outside of Buffalo on the WRONG side of the lake in winter. Mike Bennett


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Subject: LATEST NEWS FROM THE FRONT
From: NightWing
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM

AP - Reuters

The major advance of US troops into the Canadian central plains provinces has been halted at approximately the line of Canadian Highway 1, less than 100 miles into Canada.

In the early advances, progress was slowed only by giggling fits caused when US officers tried to order their men through towns with names such as Moosoming, Storthoaks, Virden ("like a Virden, touched for the very first time"), Peebles ("Peebles wobble but they don't fall down"), Aneroid, Chortitz, Shaunavon ("Sha, na, na. Sha, na-na, von"), and Manyberries. In addition, navigating through a region where every other town is a Dale, a Valley, a Glen, or a Mountain proved time-consuming.

However, today we have received reports that in Winnipeg, Brandon, Regina, Moose Jaw, Swift Current, and Medicine Hat, the advance of US volunteers -- mostly from the Dakotas, Wyoming, and Colorado -- has been slowed to a crawl by the tactics of crack teams of Canuck bartenders. Fine Canadian beers, so far superior to most common beer from the States, have disabled the vast majority of advancing troops. The entire Wyoming contingent, over 90% of the Dakota brigades, and approximately half of the Colorado forces (the "Coors" Regiments) have been captured completely by such Canadian brews as Sleeman's and Alexander Keith's. Only the so-called "Micro-Brew Boys" of Colorado have thus far evaded capture and continue to wreck havoc on the Canadian bartenders. One captured barkeep was heard to marvel, "I didn't think any of those Yanks could drink like that."

The western and eastern ends of the advance had already encountered delays. The Montana forces, originally tasked with capturing Calgary by today, have not yet crossed the border. Rumor from behind the lines suggests that the herds are taken abaaack by the distance to be covered and that the shepherds refuse to doff their special sheep boots. In the east, the Minnesotans well-known reluctance to "cause a fuss" has Minnesota forces visiting relatives in Sprague. General Olerud, commanding the Minnesota Irregulars, gave the following brief statement: "Well, we don't want to just show up on their doorstep now, do we? What if no one's home? Then we will have gone all that way for nothing. But we could always go visit those Nillsens over there in Badger."

In Michigan, fighting remains hot. Detroit has changed hands at least five times. Observers estimate that as much as $10,000,000 of improvements has been done. According to our best information from the war-torn city, Canadian forces successfully pushed back the Michigan Army Reserve, leaving the city again in US hands. Mobs of civilians have been seen fighting on the city's many bridges, screaming, "You take it!" "No, YOU take it!"

An attack by British Columbia forces on Seattle was repelled decisively by thousands of Redmond residents waving CDs of Windows Me. The British Columbians were utterly routed and have not yet regrouped.

In other news, Mexico was drawn briefly into the war when brave California troops made a daring, daylight, surfboard attack on Cabo San Lucas. However, when officials of the Mexican city, under a flag of truce, pointed out that the US and Mexico are not at war, Biff, Big Kahuna of the California VERY Irregulars, said, "Whooooa, dude! So, wow man! Let's party!"

Sorry, folks. Just couldn't resist *G*

BB,
NightWing


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 01:59 PM

Very gald you didn't. Best laugh I've had all day. Thank you. What a hoot.

troll *ROTFLMAO*


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:01 PM

So gimme a break. It's hard to spell with tears of laughter in your eyes.

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Amergin
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:03 PM

So what's the news from the Idaho Panhandle? I want news from home....


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Jimmy C
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:42 PM

> > > Subject: Canadian optimism. > > Clinton was sitting in his office when his telephone rang.
> > > "Hello! Mr. Clinton," a strange accented voice said. "This is Tommy up Canada. Eh, I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!, eh"
> > > "Well, Tommy " Clinton replied, "this is indeed important news! Tellme, how big is your army?"
> > > "At this moment in time," said Tommy after a moment's calculation,thereis myself, my cousin Bob, my next door neighbour Bill, and the entire dominoes team from the pub - that makes eight! Eh"
> > > Clinton sighed. "I must tell you Tommy that I have ten million men in my army, waiting to move on my command."
> > > "I'll have to ring you back!" said Tommy.

Sure enough, the next day Tommy rang back. "Right Mr.Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment! Eh"
> > > "And what equipment would that be, Tommy?" Clinton asked.
> > > "Well, we have two International Harvester combines, a bulldozer, and a big red tractor, plus 4 or 5 snow ploughs eh .
> > > Once more Clinton sighed. "I must tell you, Tommy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armoured personnel carriers, and my army has increased to eleven and a half million since we last spoke."
> > > "No Shit?" said Tommy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough,Tommy rang again the next day. "Right, Mr. Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultra light with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the hockey team has joine us as well! Eh"
> > > Clinton was silent for a minute, then sighed "I must tell you Tomm that I have a thousand bombers, 500 MiG-19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to twelve million."

"I'll have to ring you back." said Tommy

Sure enough, Tommy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Clinton, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.eh."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Clinton. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
> > > "Well," said Tommy, "we've all got to talking eh, and , there's no way we can feed twelve million prisoners." > >


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:52 PM

LOL!

Good one Jimmy!

;-)


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Jim Krause
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 03:00 PM

Actually, as one Canadian once pointed out to me, the US and Candad already tried having a war, the War of 1812. It was pretty much of a draw, really. The Canadians captured Mackinaw Island, but we got it back in the treaty, Detroit changed hands a couple of times, Lundy's Lane was pretty much of a draw, the Canadians retained the field of battle, but both sides suffered pretty sever casualties. Nope, actually the only places where the US really came out ahead were the Battle of Lake Erie, and New Orleans. New Orleans may not count, technically since it was fought after the treaty was signed, and it pitted Andy Jackson's Americans against Packenham's English and Scots.

All in all, I think it's probably a pretty bad idea. Nothing for either side to gain, eh?


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 03:33 PM

Hey guys, I think I have 't say JimmyC wins the war, eh? He really got the feel of it, eh? So, a Yankies Baseball hat and a Hamburger followed by Moose pie and a Molsens, or a Labat, eh? My hat is oof to ya fer sure. Cheers, Larry


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 05:14 PM

I just heard that Al Gore says that the idea for a war with Canada was his. We are awaiting confirmation of this report.

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: NightWing
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 05:20 PM

Gee, that's surprising! I thought Al invented Canada. *LOL*

BB,
NightWing

P.S. I'm a Dem, but that don't mean I can't make fun of pomposity where I see it. *G*


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 10:31 PM

He may have. He keeps re-inventing himself so often it's kinda hard to tell what he really HAS done.

troll


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: ddw
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 12:06 AM

Good one, Jimmy C — but I have to admit when the hockey team joined the Canucks I figured Clinton would concede. ANY number of Canajuns with hockey sticks is dangerous.....

LOL,

David


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Jimmy C
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM

I guess ss he could always have given the Notre dame Fighting Irish hockey sticks as well just to keep it even.

There is a story of trying to start a hockey team at Notre dame, I think it was the football coach Knute Rockney (sp) who was against putting big sticks in the hands of Irishmen.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 10:30 AM

Jimmy C,

He'd probably seen a Hurling game. I grew up playing hockey and Lacrosse and Hurling (Hurley?) is the craziest game I've ever seen.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Jimmy C
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 05:45 PM

Steve, I played hurling for 13 years, averaging 3 games per week (weather permitting). I was only injured once, by an older brother who was on the opposing team. I would love to have played lacrosse and hockey, yet I would never race a car or motorcycle, bungee jump, parachute nor would I play cricket. If one were to get hit by a cricket ball then serios injury would result, that thing is hard.


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 11:25 AM

My apologies about the American comment. It was ment A) in friendship and to B) note that we are all citizens of the american hemispheres (North and South America) not to imply any sort of domination by the United States. As a citizen of the US and an amateur student of out history, I must point out, that while the war seems to be a draw, the United States did lose the war. Victory in war (or any other diplomatic endevour) is defined as attaining your goals. American goals in the War of 1812 included settling boundry disputes with British North America, ending impressment of U.S. sailors, ending British aid to Native American warriors, Fishing rights disputes etc. Most of these issues were settled not by the war or the treaty of Ghent which ended it but rather by mutual discussion after hostilites had ceased and calmer heads prevailed. While American troops performed well in most instances. The majority of battles went to the British forces and the Canadian militiamen who fought with them. This is not to say that American troops were cowards. However, the leadership shown in the army for the most parts was inadequate. The calibre of the individual American fighting man was far better than the leadership they recieved. New Orleans was the one truely notable American victory. The Navy did well but was not equal to combatting the Royal Navy which was not only well manned but had experienced combat veterans. (As did the British Army) a result of almost fifteen years of conbtinual combat against French forces. The Americans werer fighting with the Native American tribes in their efforts to expand westward but were, as our history shows was usually the case, undermanned and unprpared to fight the war. Never mind the war, let's just sign a mutual assistance treaty. name a price and send us some decent beer. Happy holidays to all. Kindest reguards, Neil


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 11:31 AM

well now that the Queen doesn't speak the Queen's English anymore, we might as well subvert the fearless poultry of the border patrol and raid the maple syrup bombs to make snow ice-cream


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: NightWing
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM

Amusingly enough, the Internet Oracle™ just commented on this issue:

  The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. 
Your question was:

> More busy than a hive of bees, more restful than a bed of clams,
> more content than a herd of cattle, more demonstrative than a gaggle
> of geese, more boisterous than a murder of crows, wiser than a biker
> bar full of owls, the Oracle is all that and more!
>
> When the USA finally up and absorbs all of present day Canada, except
> for those sillies in Quebec, what will the new nation be like?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It won't exist at all. You see, Canada is a country, like many others.
} But, the USA is actually an anti-country, the exact opposite of a
} country. Should Canada and the USA merge, there will actually be a
} matter/anti-matter like reaction resulting in the destruction of both,
} and a pretty nifty bang as well.
}
} The following table should demonstrate the 'anti-country' status of
} the USA.
}
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
} | Typical Country | USA |
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
} | Well respected leader given | George Bush |
} | power to lead country. | |
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
} | Delicious and nutritious | McDonalds |
} | national cuisine. | |
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
} | State-funded education system. | "potatoe" |
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
} | Culture and the Arts. | Marilyn Manson. |
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
} | Industry and Agriculture. | GM Soybeans |
} +----------------------------------+---------------------------------+
}
} The Oracle rests his case. Of Yuppie flu.

For more information about the Internet Oracle™, see The Internet Oracle™ Resource Index.

BB,
NightWing

P.S. I sure hope I didn't screw up the formatting on this *cross fingers*


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Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada
From: kendall
Date: 22 Dec 00 - 08:37 AM

Did you ever wonder why the state of Maine intrudes so far into Canada?


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