Subject: 12 Days of Counting
From:
raredance
Date: 22 Dec 00 - 06:52 PM
Beware election related parody of traditional Christmas song. Written by Dale Connelly of Minnesota Public Radio. Dale creates a delightful mix of satire, parody and just plain old humor for his MPR Mporning Show and Dale Connelly Reports.
Listen to it here:
http://news.mpr.org/programs/daleconnellyreporting/rafiles/001215_counting.ram
TWELVE WEEKS OF COUNTING
by Dale Connelly, 12/15/00
When the first votes were counted my true love said to me
A dead even presidency!
In the second round of counting my true love said to me
Two candidates
and a dead even presidency.
By the third round of counting my true love said to me
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a dead even presidency.
In the fourth round of counting my true love said to me
Four under votes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a dead even presidency.
In the fifth round of counting my true love said to me
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a contentious presidency.
In the sixth round of counting my true love said to me
Six tasseled lawyers
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a disputed presidency.
In the seventh round of counting my true love said to me
Seven preening pundits
Six tasseled lawyers
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and an uncertain presidency.
In the eighth round of counting my true love said to me
Eight mangled ballots
Seven preening pundits
Six tasseled lawyers
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a pugnacious presidency.
In the ninth round of counting my true love said to me
Nine testy jurists
Eight mangled ballots
Seven preening pundits
Six tasseled lawyers
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and an unhappy presidency.
At the tenth round of counting my true love said to me
Ten yakking anchors
Nine testy jurists
Eight mangled ballots
Seven preening pundits
Six tasseled lawyers
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a deflated presidency.
By the eleventh round of counting my true love said to me
Eleven Vote-A-Matics
Ten yakking anchors
Nine testy jurists
Eight mangled ballots
Seven preening pundits
Six tasseled lawyers
Five dimpled chads
Four undervotes
Three punch cards
Two candidates
and a partisan presidency.
In the last round of counting my true love sent to me
Twelve olive branches
Eleven Vote-A-Matics
Ten yakking anchors
Nine testy jurists
Eight mangled ballots
Seven preening pundits
Six tasseled lawyers
Five Dimpled Chads
Four under votes
Three punch cards
two candidates
And a peaceful, bi-partisan, non-confrontational, cooperative, productive, courteous, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent
.. presidency
rich r
|
sj
