Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Áine Date: 23 Dec 00 - 09:04 AM Sorry this Christmas Challenge! is so late, dear Challenge!rs; but, I've been busy with all the holiday stuff and the return from university of my big fella (a/k/a No. 1 Son). This Challenge! idea is from our own dear Bert, and it's a doozy! Have fun and enjoy! -- Áine (P.S. Don't worry, the Golden Cow Chips for Challenge! Part 46 will be given out later today when I return from the mall (aaaarrrrgggghhhh)) Giving Frosty The Cold Shoulder THE snowman is sexist, out of date and should make way for snow-women, an academic claimed yesterday. Dr Tricia Cusack, of Birmingham University, carried out a five-year study into the "cultural meanings" of snowmen. She believes that they are old-fashioned symbols of gender discrimination. She has called for snow-women to appear on Christmas cards and wrapping paper. Writing in the cultural history periodical New Formations, Dr Cusack described snowmen as the "rotund relics of Bacchanalia". They were gluttonous and indulgent, and symbolised the grotesque with their portly appearance and carrot noses. However, she added: "I don't want to ban snowmen or anything, let's just be a bit more imaginative - why not have a snow-woman? We need to be alert to which particular images have got currency. Why is it always male, and why is it so popular at Christmas? At least the snowman has lost his pipe as society is less geared towards promoting smoking."
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Matt_R Date: 23 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM Anyone hear the Napster gem going around?
Who put the dick on the snowman? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Dharmabum Date: 23 Dec 00 - 10:12 AM Here's a quick first installment.
Frosty the snowman
(chorus)
Now Frosty the snowperson
DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 23 Dec 00 - 12:02 PM "They were gluttonous and indulgent, and symbolised the grotesque with their portly appearance and carrot noses. "
Actually it sounds a bit like me, though I jib somewhat at the epithet "grotesque". "A rotund relic of Bacchanalia. I like that."
And that's what Dr Cusack reckons the female snowman has got to be like as well, I take it. Seems reasonable to me. (There were female snowmen in the film version of Raymonmd Brigg's The Snowman, and very Bachanalian they looked too.)
The Lady Snowman.
She stood in the yard
The first time we built her
And the next day she melted,
Well most years at Christmas, |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 23 Dec 00 - 12:19 PM Slight amendment:
She stood in the yard at the back of our place, So white and so cold and so broad round the base, She had coals for her eyes, and a spud for a nose, And homely and snug, with a coat made of snow. (Well, it seemed more respectful. And more accurate, when you think of it.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Clifton53 Date: 23 Dec 00 - 12:26 PM Its wintertime its Christmas time, its time to deck the halls, And now they tell me they must go, yes, its Frosty's balls, Oh how can I bear it, 'tis makin' my blood boil, To turn me 'ol pal Frosty, into a blinkin' goil.
The corncob pipe, the button nose, acceptable you see,
So now we must change everything, the song, and pictures too
Can someone come and help me, I haven't got a clue, Cliffrosty
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 23 Dec 00 - 08:33 PM Any more for the snowman? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 24 Dec 00 - 02:50 PM I've been playing around with this, and here's how it is now.
The Lady Snowman.
She stood in the yard
The first time we built her
And the next day she melted,
Well most years at Christmas, (If any one wanted to sing this, The Cliffs of Doneen fits it well, though my tune's a bit different.)
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 25 Dec 00 - 02:42 PM Refreeze |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Amos Date: 25 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM Well, I got into all kinds of trouble as an eight-year-old for making full-breasted snow-women in my front yard in Connecticut. Wasn't done, dontcha know. They were Rubinesque in their measurements, if somewhat awkward in execution. Sigh. So I see I was before my time. But isn't it kind of sexist to portray mammary beauty in statuary? Maybe we should make Snow-oids, flat-chested alien symbols of a sort of vague, indeterminate personhood with no sex to them at all -- incarnations of pure white frozen nominal existence, gonadless and incapable of standing any heat or pressure. That ought to celebrate the spirit of Grundy! Merry merry vacuum to all! Pox on pissant puritans, anyway! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: SINSULL Date: 25 Dec 00 - 09:50 PM This brings to mind a scandal of epic proportions which took place on the hallowed grounds of Mt. Holyoke College last winter. The art students chose to get creative with their snowman and instead produced an 8' snow penis. Some of the locals found the anatomically correct member offensive and had the security guards knock it down. Cries of censorship and artistic freedom led to an apology in the school paper. I imagine the headline went something like this: Frozen Phallus Farce Far From Finished. Where has this Dr. Cusack been? Children have been building anatomically correct snow men and women for decades. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Matt_R Date: 25 Dec 00 - 09:58 PM Ah, us art students are a wacko bunch, ain't we? Dang, where's Claes Oldenburg when we need him!!! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Dec 00 - 10:28 PM Praise be to Heavens.....
Back in town...... And Dick's ol' place has not let me down....
WELL DONE!!!! Laughed a hoot....and will give this the boot...to others THANX
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Amos Date: 25 Dec 00 - 10:40 PM Deck us all with balls of Cholly, Falarlarlar, delarlar lum. Down the dick, that student folly Awr begar, hardihar, ho-ho-hum! Melt the awesome, gelid penis Fardelarfardelar, rah rah rah Let it not now come between us! Teiraleira polly-schmeera sis boom bah! Fie upon you, students lusty! Snicker-wicker, petty-dicker, poo-poo-poo! Can't you stick to vixens busty?! Colly-woddle, molly-coddle, shoo, shoo shoo! Shame on those, their snowballs rolling, Umpty-fratz, marmisatz, glee, glee, glee! Building members vast and swollen! Unterlichen, mausen stichen, whee, whee, whee! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: SINSULL Date: 25 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM Sorry Aine. It appears I have hijacked your challenge. Pretty funny stuff Amos. I will pass it along to one of the ladies responsible for the artwork. Yes, Matt. It's Molly. And No I don't know where she learned the details . Maybe anatomy class. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Matt_R Date: 25 Dec 00 - 11:16 PM **GASP!!!!** Molly is a naughty girl!!! Lol! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: GUEST,Bardford Date: 26 Dec 00 - 02:53 AM Sinsull, Your story 'minds me of the time we built a similar, ah, structure in a city park across the street from my friend's house, where he lived with his grandmother. We were in grade nine, I think, about 14 years old. "Hey gran, look at the big dick we made of snow!", we announce, waiting for the swift condemnation." "That's nice, boys, there's some spray paint in the garage if you'ld like to paint it." She was the first person in my life who embodied the notion of art patron. Happy Christmas, Bardford |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Áine Date: 26 Dec 00 - 09:37 AM You guys are doing great -- so far ;-) Now, which of you brave (and extremely creative) Challenge!rs are of a mind to combine the original Challenge! and Sinsull's excellent addition??? My, my, the possibilities simply astound! It's a double-dawg dare now, compadres, so Go For It, Challenge!rs!! I love y'all to bits, Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: GUEST,nathan tompkins Date: 26 Dec 00 - 01:44 PM Then there is this gem |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Clifton53 Date: 26 Dec 00 - 05:42 PM Let it snow
Oh the weather outside's surprisin'
Straight to the sky like a tower
Oh the stuffed-shirts all were fainting
There's only one thing that's missin'
The men were feelin' rejected
So there's the winter's glory Clifton53 |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: John Hardly Date: 26 Dec 00 - 06:04 PM Frosty's New Song (Deck The Halls) No more balls I'm now called Holly Folly, folly, folly, la, la, la. S'prano giggles still sound jolly, Folly, folly, folly, la, la, la Once I donned such gay apparel Folly, la, folly, la, folly, la Now it's straight to dress like Carole Folly, folly, la, la, folly, la, la. Fast away male habits passeth Folly, folly, folly, la, la, la, (like) Belching, scratching, and passing gasseth, Folly, folly, folly, la, la, la Now I'm judged by female measures Folly, la, folly, la, folly, la, Since I clipped the "family treasures" Folly, folly, la, la, folly, la, la apologies for succombing to the obvious, JH |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Dharmabum Date: 26 Dec 00 - 10:38 PM NOW FROSTY IS NO GENTLEMAN (god rest ye merry gentlemen)
In the town of Birmingham
Now Doctor Tricia Cusack
Now gender reassignment
Doctor Tricia found herself
She looked out of her window
The townsfolk were offended
So if you've got a mind to DB.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 00 - 02:49 AM LOL!! What MASTERY!!! As good as anything Gilbert and Sullivan can lay claim to. Well done, Dharma! Cracking up! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Dharmabum Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:12 AM Thanks Amos, And congrats to you & all the other challangers on a job well done! Great stuff here folks! DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Clifton53 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:16 PM Great job there DB! Best one yet. Big Kerouac fan are ye? I happen to be the foremost Kerouac authority on my street. Clifton53 |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: GUEST,emily b Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:30 PM You guys are just too good. What talent, what humor, what sick minds, I love it all. And Nathan, thanks for the gem. LOL Emily |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: mousethief Date: 03 Jan 01 - 02:33 PM Male Snowman (tune: White Christmas)
I'm dreaming of a male snowman
I'm dreaming of a male snowman ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. -----
It was Dumb
Well, I built a big ol' snowman
Chorus:
Now it didn't have a penis
Well if you look at a snowman ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Áine Date: 03 Jan 01 - 03:09 PM Here we go, the first "official" Golden Cow Chip Awards for 2001! You all did a fantastic job with this one, and thanks to Bert (and Sinsull) for the great subject(s). So, without further ado, here you go:
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster: And may each new Song Challenge! stir your creative juices and bring you many kisses on each cheek from the Keeper of the Book! ;-) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Dharmabum Date: 03 Jan 01 - 03:49 PM Thanks Aine, & a big standing ovation for you & all you put into these challanges!!!!!! Keep 'em comin.
HAPPY NEW YEAR |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 03 Jan 01 - 04:14 PM And here's a picture of Raymond Briggs's Snowman (And as I said, in the film version, he has snow-ladies in there too, barn-dancing.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Bradypus Date: 04 Jan 01 - 06:46 PM Sorry I'm late - we've had a very busy Christmas holiday.
Snow Business
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 47 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 05 Sep 01 - 09:12 AM "White Christmas" run through the uncalibrated Politically Correct Spell Check Program
I'm dreaming of a multicutural winterval |
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