Goofy Songs

Subject: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 05:11 PM

Yes, I also would like to get back to the wonderful world of FOLK MUSIC! "Goofy Songs" We all know a few, I know some, let's get some songs posted from the wonderful world of silly, ridiculous, funny, outragous ... whatever. CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 05:24 PM

Thanks Bob.
Actually, I'm looking for info on a goofy song...maybe someone knows it?? It is about a Scottish Granny (Frasier?) Flittin' to Aberdeen? It goes through this horrendous list of all the things she has in her cart. Dearly love the song, and need to fill a few holes in my memory.
Thanks,
Jen

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 05:26 PM

The black cat piddled in the white cat's eye
And the white cat said "Gor blimey!"
And the black cat said, "You silly sod!
You shouldn't stand behind me!"

Then, of course, there's The Geoduck (Goo-eyduck) Song.

More to come as they occur to me--

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 05:41 PM

Good Grief Don! We both learned THAT SONG from Sandy's very forst record ... that's been a couple of weeks ago! CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 06:22 PM

GASTON COUNTY LIBRARY IS GASTONIA N C TOLD ME TO CONTACT YOU I AM LOOKING TO FIND THE LYRICS OF A FOLK SONG THE OLD MAID AND THE BUGLAR CAN YOU HELP? [e-mail]

---

Lyrics sent by e-mail - Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Midchuck
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 06:32 PM

Is that the one that ends: "He took one look at her big glass eye, and said, 'For pity's sake, shoot!'"?

Peter.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 07:21 PM

Maggie Savage used to sing that one! Great song. Bob

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 08:57 PM

GUEST, I presume you're not familiar with this website. The song your looking for is probably the Old Maid and the Burglar. It's in the Digital Tradition database which contains the words to some 8,000+ songs, and MIDI tunes for a lot of them. You can get to the database from the blue box at the top of the forum page, or click here. I hope this is the one you're looking for.

Also, you might want to check the Mudcat FAQ - Newcomer's Guide at the top of the "Thread Name" list. Lots of good information there on what's available on this website. Good hunting.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Mudlark
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:10 PM

I don't remember all the verses to this but it's got a very zippy tune...
.
Oh there was a little Drummer and he loved a one-eyed Cook.
He loved her oh he loved her tho she had a cock-eyed look.
With her one eye on the pot and the tother up a chimney.
With a bow-wow-wow.
Fa la la la la la dee dee.
Bow wow wow.
.
...and ends up .
.
When they went to church to say I do the Drummer got a knock!.
.
For her one eye killed the parson....and the other stopped the clock!!.
.
With a bow wow wow, etc. etc.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:50 PM

Good grief ... I used to sing that in the fifties. We must be VERY old! Bob

Subject: ADD: Horse Named Bill (alternate version)
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 10:05 PM

A great goofy song is "A Horse Named Bill," sung to the first half of the verse of "Dixie," the part with the words.
"I wish I was in the land of cotton, .
Old times there are not forgotten,.
Look away, look away, look away Dixieland.
.

It's in the database, but I learned it with slightly different words and a couple of additional verses.

A HORSE NAMED BILL

I got a horse and his name is Bill
And when he runs he can't stand still;
He ran away...one day...and also I ran with him.

He ran so fast that he couild not stop.
He ran 'til he came to a barber shop
And fell exhaustionized...with his eye teeth...in the barber's left shoulder.

(then the verses missing from the database)
I got a gal and her name is Daisy;
When she sings the cat goes crazy
With Saint Vituses...and deliriums...and all kinds of cat...uhleptics.

One day she sang a song about
A man who turned himself inside-out
And fell...into the river...because he was so sleepy.

(back to slightly different verses from those in the DB)
I'm goin' out in the woods next year,
I'll shoot for beer and not for deer;
I am...I was..I'll be a great sharpshootress.

At shooting birds I am a beaut;
There is no bird I cannot shoot
In the eyes...in the ears...in the teeth or in the finners.(sic)

In Frisco Bay there lives a whale
And he eats pork chops by the bale,
By the hog's head...by the schooner...and sometimes by the pillbox.

His name is Georgia, he's a peach
But don't leave food within his reach,
Or babies...or nursemaids...or chocolate ice cream sundaes.

He loves to laugh and when he smiles
You see teeth for miles and miles (and miles and miles and miles...)
And tonsils...and spareribs...and things too fierce to mention.

He's lots of fun and when he plays
He rolls his eyes for days and days
And vibrates...and yodels...and breaks the ten commandments.

Oh what can you do in a case like that
Oh what can you do but jump on your hat
Or on an eggshell...or your toothbrush...or on anything else that's helpless

Carl Sandburg included it in his American Songbag.

--seed

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,Hotspur
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 10:05 PM

Rolling Over the Billows, Down by the Bay, Second Story Window, and Jenny Jenkins come to mind. and now that we're selling rhythm frogs in my shop, the Froggy song keeps popping into my head too.

Dog! Dog, cat! Dog, cat, mouse! FROGGY! Itty bitty teeny weeny little bitty froggy Jump, jump, jump, little froggy See the little froggy coming to the highway Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, Croak.

(Or, if you perfer a bloodless version,

See the little froggy coming to the lilypad Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, Splash.)

And

Oh, isn't it a piece of luck that i was born a baby duck With yellow socks and yellow shoes that i may go wherever i choose!

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 11:18 PM

Oh, you can't roller skate ina buffalo herd.
You can't roller skate ina buffalo herd.
You can't roller skate ina buffalo herd,
But you can be happy if you've a mind, too.
Roger Miller

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: toadfrog
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 11:32 PM

THREE LITTLE FISHIES

Down in a meadow in an itty bitty pool
Swam three little fishies and a mama fishie too!
Swim said the mama fishie, swim if you can,
And they swam and they swam right over the dam!

Boop, boop, diddum daddum, waddum, CHOO,
Boop, boop, diddum daddum, waddum, CHOO,
Boop, boop, diddum daddum, waddum, CHOO,
And they swam and they swam right over the dam!Stop! said the mama fishie, you will get lost!
But the three little fishies didn't want to be bossed.
They swam and they swam, and it was all a lark,
'Till all of a sudden they met a shark!

Etc.

Now I think of it, there is a moral in that. Maybe not so light hearted, after all.

Subject: Lyr Add: GOOFUS (Wayne King/Gus Kahn)
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 11:34 PM

Well, not really a goofy song but the title of this thread immediately brought to mind the old Gus Kahn/Wayne King song, "Goofus." The Carpenters rehashed it at one point but the old version was one of my Ol'Man's collection of "Partially Known Songs."

GOOFUS....Wayne King/Gus Kahn

I was born on a farm out in Ioway,
A flaming youth who was bound that he'd fly away,
I packed my grip and I grabbed my saxophone.
Can't read notes, but I play anything by ear,
I made up tunes on the sound that I used to hear;
When I'd start to play folks used to say,
"Sounds a little Goofus to me."

Cornfed chords appeal to me,
I like rustic harmony,
Hold the note and chant the key,
That's called "Goofus."
Not according to the rules
that you learn at music schools,
But the folks just dance like fools.
They go "Goofus."

Got a job but I just couldn't keep it long,
The leader said that I played all the music wrong,
So I stepped out with an outfit of my own.
Got together a new kind of ochestree,
And we all played just the same "Goofus" harmony,
And I must admit,
we made a hit,
"Goofus" has been lucky for me.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: toadfrog
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 11:39 PM

Oh said the little fishies, look at the whale!
Quick as a flash, they turned on their tail!
Back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam, and they swam back over the dam!

Boop, boop [etc].

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:08 AM

I was born about ten thousand years ago.
There ain't nothin' in this world that I don't know.
I saw Peter, Paul, and Moses
Playin' ring-around-the-roses
An' I'll whup the guy that says it isn't so.

I figured this HAD to be in the DT, but the closest thing I could find was called JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM . Now that's goofy.

Subject: Lyr Add: IT'S A LIE
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:18 AM

IT'S A LIE

I was born a hundred thousand years ago. (YEARS AGO)
And there's nothing in this world I do not know. (DO NOT KNOW)
I saw Peter, Paul, and Moses playing ring-around the roses,
And I'll lick the guy who says it isn't so. (IT ISN'T SO)

Chorus:
It's a lie; It's a lie ; Ship ahoy, ship ahey, ship a hi-hi-hi!
Oh, I've sailed the seven seas and I've sniffed the salty breeze,
But I never, ever, ever saw a mermaid. (A MERMAID)

I was there when Satan looked the garden o'er. (GARDEN O'ER)
I saw Adam and Eve a'driven from the door. (FROM THE DOOR)
I was round the corner peekin' at the apple they was eatin'
I can prove I was the guy that ate the core. (ATE THE CORE)

I was there when Ceasar crossed the Rubicon. (RUBICON)
I'm the guy who built the raft he crossed it on. (CROSSED IT ON)
I saw Nero burning Rome, and Hannibal at home.
I even saw the fall of Babylon. (BABBLE ON)

I saw Washington afloat a cake of ice. (CAKE OF ICE)
I saw Sherman, Lee, and Grant a shakin' dice. (SHAKIN' DICE)
I saw Roosevelt's great laugh that split his face in half,
While Pershing set a trap for German mice. (GERMAN MICE)

You may thing that all this bunk, it isn't true. (IT ISN'T TRUE)
But what difference does it really make to you? (MAKE TO YOU)
I've been feeding you this line just to pass away the time,
And now I'm going to quit because I'm through. (YOU'RE THROUGH)

Spaw

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:20 AM

Spaw, where'd you get that? You didn't type it that fast, did you?

Oh, there ain't no bugs on me
There ain't no bugs on me
There may be bugs on some of you mugs
But there ain't no bugs on me.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Bert
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:21 AM

And you might just find a goofy song or two here

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,CLETUS
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:29 AM

Catspaw sed az how I shud tell ya bout thizzeer place Mr. Jim....He sez ya shud CLICK Rightcheer

CLETUS

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 03:16 AM

This goofy song has a serious background: boys eight or ten years old worked in mines driving coal wagons pulled on tracks by mules:

MY SWEETHEART'S A MULE IN THE MINE

My sweetheart's a mule in the mine; I drive her without any line. In the wagon I sit And I chew and I spit All over my sweetheart's behind.

The tune as I learned it is the same as "Popeye the Sailor Man." Anybody know if there is any more to the song?

--seed

Subject: Lyr Add: LIFE PRESENTS A DISMAL PICTURE
From: Deckman
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 05:10 AM

Here's one of my favorites

Dismal Picture

Life presents a dismal picture,
Dark and dreary as a tomb,
My old man has had a rupture,
Mom's in bed with a fallen womb,
Mom's in bed with a fallen womb.

Uncle Charlie's been castrated,
That is why he seldom smiles,
Oh life is a wearysome chore,
Cracking ice for Grandpa's piles,
Cracking ice for Grandpa's piles.

Uncle Harvy's been deported,
For a homosexual crime,
My Aunt Martha's been aborted,
For the fourty second time,
For the fourty second time.

This is sung to a Bach fugue. Playing a nice classical guitar accompanyment with it lets you get away with it in some outrageous places.
CHEERS,
Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Micca
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 10:35 AM

Deckman, the tune I heard this to is "Deutschland ,Uber alles"!!!and it fits.. words are slightly different to fit the tune, ( I include the ones that you haven also..
Life presents a dismal picture,
Dark and mournful as a tomb,
Father has an anal stricture,
Mother has a fallen womb,

. In the corner sits Jemima
never laughs and rarely smiles
What a dismal occupation
cracking ice for granpas piles

Our wee babys awfull sickly
it is always having fits
Every time it coughs it vomits
every time it farts it shits

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Hollowfox
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 04:03 PM

Thanks, 'Spaw! that's the song I asked about more than a year ago! I only hearsd it the one time, at Camp Mowana, over near Mansfield. Doesn't it figure that the answer would come form another Ohioan? Hopelessly midwestern, that's us.
BTW, when I was just a slip of a foxcub, I asked my mother what "Mowana" might mean in English. She didn't hesitate at all, and told me it means "fetid swamp wherein breed malerial mosquitoes".

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 04:13 PM

"Hopelessly Midwestern".......oughta' be a song.

Interestingly enough, Karen attended her leadership training for Den Mothers today. Things have changed, but yet are still the same. I figure when and if the whole thing wears thin, I'll just tell the Pack Leader that Michael is showing gay tendencies.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Gareth
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 12:02 PM

No rule wot says it has to be in English is there ?

Mae bys Mari Ann wedi gwywo,
A Dafydd y gwas ddim yn iach;
Mae'r Baban yn y crud yn crio,
A'r gath wedi scrapo Johnny bach
Sospan fach yn berwi ar y tân
Sosban fawr yn berwi ar y llawr
A'r gath wedi scrapo Johnny bach.
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
Dai bach yn sowldiwr,
A chwt i grys e' mas.

Translation, and pheonetics HERE

Garydd

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Mudlark
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 01:15 PM

To Bob....Never say "old" to an old person!!! I will admit to classic, even vintage, but NOT to antique!

To bseed....thanks for posting the Horse song...in the early '60's I heard Burl Ives sing the just the verses about the whale to a different tune entirely, and have been looking for the lyrics for years....

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 04:05 PM

Classic? Vintage? That's good. After long and careful consideration, I will also answer to "Geezer." Geezerhood, I have decided, is an honorable estate.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 04:13 PM

I just found the following:--

WORD HISTORY: A relationship with a word we know well is disguised in the word geezer. A clue to this relationship is found in British dialect. The English Dialect Dictionary defines geezer as "a queer character, a strangely-acting person," and refers the reader to guiser, "a mummer, masquerader." The citations for guiser refer to practices such as the following: "People, usually children … go about on Christmas Eve, singing, wearing masks, or otherwise disguised," the last word of this passage being the one to which geezer is related.

Case closed.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Mudlark
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 07:09 PM

Hmmmmm....the word "geezer" has always had a masculine connotation to my mind....maybe geezerette would work for me....the "strangely-acting person" certainly does.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 08:33 PM

COWBOY SONG

Hij kwam uit de SALOON, als in een COWBOY-cartoon,
zei: I'm gone very soon," gafzin paard snei een zoen
want die kon er niets aan doen; hij had sporen aan zijn schoen,
als een COWBOY ...
Hij was vogelvri verklaard, zijn leven was veel DOLLARS waard,
en met veel rumoer gepaard, besteeg hij snel zijn paard
en reed weg in volle vaart en de wind blies langs zijn baard.
vat geen kou, BOY ...
Hij reed langs een trein, die speelde zijn.

Refrein:
Kedeng kedeng kedeng kedeng, kedeng kedeng, kedeng kedeng, toetoet
Bij een grote kudde vee, stopte zijn paard ermee,
die COWBOY dacht "O NEE!" maar een vreemdeling zei "HEY"
En vroeg hem "Ga je mee, ik heb koffie, ik heb thee en cacao, BOY" ...
Hij zei "Doe mij maar een kop!"
en gaf zijn paard toen schop;
net ontsnapt van de strop, houdt z'n paard ermee op,
zijn PRUIMtabak WAS top, maar de vreemdeling zei
"STOP
met dat GEKAUW, BOY" ...
De COWBOY kreeg een hang naar geweld, sloeg op z'n wang
Zijn REVOLVER klonk toen 'PANG,' Z'n paard stong op de gang,
gefrustreed kwaad en bang en ging z'n eigen gang
De COWBOY werd dol; zijn paard sloeg op ho!
geverfd door de wol, op zoek naar wat lol
kreeg 't hoog in z'n boi en ging aan de roi
in Moskou BOY!

Now, isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard?

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,ALAN
Date: 23 Sep 01 - 09:03 PM

How about the "Rooster Song' It's in the data base.

Subject: Lyr Add: GRANNY FRASER'S FLITTIN'
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 07:13 PM

Here's Jen Ellen's answer:

It was on a Monday mornin', fu' weel I mind the scene
When Granny Fraser flitted frae Aboyne tae Aberdeen
The village folk they a' turned oot tae see her on the road
The horse it couldnae pu' the cairt, ye should have seen the load

There was airmchairs, bath-chairs, rockin' chairs as weel
Cradles, ladles, a pun' o' fish for meal
There was woollen shawls, mothballs, jeely pans and jaurs
An' Grandpa near fell aff the top wi' Granny's chest o' drawers

There was wee pots, teapots, a pair o' wally dugs
Big pots, flooer pots, Granny's cheeny jugs
There was stew-pots, what-nots, ye ken the kind I mean
At Granny Fraser's flittin' frae Aboyne tae Aberdeen

Noo John MacNab the policeman, he cried for volunteers
It was the first time he had ta'en his jaiket aff in years
Tae get the dunkey movin' every man did play his pairt
They jist got hauf-way up the street when a wheel fell aff the cairt

An' there was face-towels, auld bowls litterin' the street
Claes props, alarm clocks a' roon' aboot yer feet
There was golf clubs, washtubs litterin' the lane
An' Grandpa's Ne'erday bottle it was runnin' doon the drain

There was fur coats, porridge oats mixed up wi' the glaur
A big spear, souvenir fae the Zulu war
There was antique tight breeks o' Eighteen-seventeen
At Granny Fraser's flittin' frae Aboyne tae Aberdeen

Noo Geordie Broon the blacksmith, he weighed near twenty stone
He lifted up the cairt hissel' an' put the wheel back on
He got the load securely tied amid the scoffs an' jeers
An' as the lorry left the street he got three rousin' cheers

An' there was old spats, tile hats, some things I couldnae say
Tin trays, auld claes she wouldna throw away
There was floor mats, corn grub mixed up wi' the rest
An' bottles of some nippy stuff my granny liked the best

There was lawn-mowers, plus-fours tied on wi' a rope
An' a big flag some wag tied tae the top
On the tail-board, encored, lookin' like the Queen
Was Granny Fraser flittin' on the road tae Aberdeen

Warmest regards,

Amos

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: toadfrog
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 09:35 PM

Sounds a lot like "Killigrew's Soiree." Anybody recall the words to that?

You can talk of Clara Nolan's ball, or anything you choose,
But it could not hold a snuffbox to the spree at Killegrew's
If you want your eyeballs straightened out just come along with me,
You'll have to wear your glasses at the Killigrew's Soiree!

There was . . .[?]

Subject: Lyr Add: D.U.I.
From: dwp
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 10:17 PM

D.U.I.

Tune: Jingle Bells
By: Bob Blevins

Suckin' down a beer, feelin' pretty loose,
Just killed off a fifth. We're running out of booze.
I got Grandmas' keys. Let's go for a ride.
What fun it is to get so stinkin' drunk that you can't drive!

CHORUS: Oh! D.U.I., D.U.I., life is just a game.
Oh what fun it is to ride in someone else's' lane.
Oh! D.U.I., D.U.I., throw up on the dash.
We'd go to the liquor store but we ain't got no cash!

Sliding 'round the curve in Grandma's Cadillac,
She won't even notice if we don't bring it back. (She's old!)
Look at all the sparks flashin' from the side.
That guard rail sure is close. I think we're gonna die!

CHORUS: Oh! D.U.I., D.U.I., fearless guys are we.
Someone roll the window down. I really gotta pee.
Oh! D.U.I., D.U.I., ride up on the curb.
Hit that asshole on the sidewalk. It's too late to swerve!

Riding through the town, running every light,
And if we find some Arabs, we're gonna start a fight. (That's right!)
We would stop for breakfast but we just hit a truck.
Grandma's got insurance, so we don't give a *BELCH!*

CHORUS: Oh! D.U.I., D.U.I., cops are on our ass.
Watch me push 'em off the road as they begin to pass.
Oh! D.U.I., D.U.I., now we're goin' to jail.
(Slowly:)
Someone better call Grandma, so she--can--post--our--bail.

--- Line breaks added ------Jeff (PA)---

Subject: Lyr Add: MY WIFE LEFT TOWN WITH A BANANA
From: dwditty
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 08:35 PM

MY WIFE LEFT TOWN WITH A BANANA

My wife left town with a banana
Life's a rotten deal.
I found that yellow sucker a-hidin' in her purse.
He's cold and hard, but he's got appeal.
I hope it never happens to you.
Some fruit breaks your marriage in two.
My wife left town with a banana. She slipped away.

My wife left town with a banana.
Now I'm a jealous man.
She found a six inch Latin love.
Now she does the tango with her right hand.
Right now I could just die.
He's eatin' my banana cream pie.
Oh, my wife left town with a banana.
She slipped away.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: CapriUni
Date: 29 Sep 01 - 01:24 AM

Arjay --

I love that Roger Miller song!

I'll just add on...

Oh, you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd,
But you can be happy if you've a mind to.,

You can't take a shower in a parakeet cage,
can't take a shower in a parakeet cage,
can't take a shower in a parakeet cage,
But you can be happy, if you've a mind to.

All ya gotta do is put your mind to it --
Knuckle down, buckle down. Do it! Do it! Do it!

And then, there's:

Can't drive around with a tiger in your car ...

Can't go fishin' in the water mellon patch ...

Can't go swimming in the baseball pool ...

and

Can't change the film with a kid on your back ... (this is the only one that sounds like it may have come from real life ;^))

For all its goofiness, I've always found this song to be very inspirational... You can waste a lifetime dreaming of all the different things you *can't* do, or you can focus your energy on being happy with what you can.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 30 Sep 01 - 01:27 AM

Jim Dixon --

I heard it as:

There are no flies on me, there are no flies on me,
No flies on me. There are no flies on me. No flies on me.

Bat Goddess

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Sep 01 - 07:48 AM

Maresy doats and doesydoats
Burl Ives.
not folkie but he was.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Willa
Date: 30 Sep 01 - 09:49 AM

MICHAEL FINNEGAN

A CAPITAL SHIP
A capital ship for an ocean trip was the Walloping Window Blind.
No wind that blew dismayed her crew, or troubled the Captain's mind.
The man at the wheel was made to feel contempt for the wildest blow-ow-ow,
Though it often appeared when the gale it cleared, he'd been in his bunk below.
(Six more v if you want them)

CAPE ANN
We hunted and we hallooed and the best thing we found
Was a barn in the meadow and that we left behind.
Look ye there!
One said it was a barn, but the other he said nay.
He said it was a meetinghouse with the steeple blown away.
Look you there!
(Several more v)

TALKING NOTHING
I looked from the hall to the top of the stair.
Didn't see a man who wasn't there,
Nothin', nothin', nothin' at all,
Nothin' at all over the wall
A predominance of vacancy.
(5 more v)

DUNDERBUCK
Oh dunderbuck, Dunderbuck, how could you be so mean,
To ever have invented the sausage meat machine?
Now long-tailed rats and pussy cats they'll never more be seen,
They'll all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine.
(2 more v)

OLD DAN TUCKER
Now old Dan Tucker's a fine old man,
Washed his face in a frying pan,
Combed his head with a wagon wheel,
And died with a toothache in his heel
CHORUS: Get out the way, old Dan Tucker,
You're too late to get your supper,
(3 more v)

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Sep 01 - 02:30 PM

A bunch of us got together for a hoot at Bob (Deckman) Nelson's last night (great evening, by the way!), and this came up:--

It takes a goofy singer to sing a goofy song;
It takes a goofy singer to sing a goofy song;
It takes a goofy singer to sing a goofy song;
We're goofy now; we've been goofy all along.

Not a Child ballad, but I thought it wasn't bad for "off the top of the head."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 30 Sep 01 - 06:57 PM

I wonder if "Bat Goddess" knows this version?
There may be flies
On other guys
But there ain't no flies
On Jesus
By the way Don, it WAS great to see an hear you. I love your accompanment for Barbara's "Braes of Yarrow." And your new guitar is choice! CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 30 Sep 01 - 07:00 PM

... Which also reminds me of the one we used to sing in the basement of the Baptist Church whenever the preacher wasn't around:
Jesus on the one yard line
Jesus Christ is doing fine
Aren't you glad that HE is on our team

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: CapriUni
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 12:50 PM

For more goofy songs, you might want to look at this thread:

Elephant and Hippo Songs

Speaking of which, I don't think I've *ever* heard a seriously sentimental song about an elephant or a hippo... So I wonder: are there just some subjects out there that cry out to be sung about goofily?

What are some things we just cannot take seriously?

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:32 PM

If you were a hippo, Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud (Flanders and Swann) might be seriously sentimental. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: dwditty
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:34 PM

Alan Sherman wrote a bunch - parodies really. SHel Silverstein wrote the others.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:45 PM

Right about here<—.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:57 PM

Almost anything on "Not For Kids Only" by Jerry Garcia and David Grisman. You guys have already posted about half of them. Great album!

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: mousethief
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:59 PM

Some of my favorites are the very short ones, or rather the ones that stop short.

***

The hills are alive---
(shouted) RUN!!!!!

***

Make the world go away...
(imitate sound of dropping and exploding bomb)

***

Be kind to your web-footed friends
For a duck may be somebody's mother
She lives in a place called the swamp
Where the weather is cold and damp
You may think that this is the end
Well it is.

***

One I learned on my mother's knee (folk process!):
(tune: turkey in the straw, roughly)

Horse walked around with his foot on the ground
Horse walked around with his foot on the ground
Horse walked around with his foot on the ground
Horse walked around with his foot on the ground!

Second verse, same as the first! Ohhhhhhh......
(etc)

***

Alex

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,chuck
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 09:37 PM

Used to sing this one in scout camp years ago. Only remember one verse and the refrain. Anybody know the rest?

My pappy has an airplane,
He flies it round and round,
His whiskers are so long,
They drag along the ground.

Oh, they're always in the way (Hey!)
The cows eat them for hay (Hey!)
They hide the dirt on pappy's shirt,
They're always in the way (Hey!)

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 11:30 PM

GOOD GRIEF! I didn't even think of CAMP SONGS when I started this thread. Boy ... does that bring up a whole bunch of goofy songs. Can anyone remind me of the words to "Johnny Brubeck?"
Oh mister, mister Johnny Brubeck,
How could you be so mean,
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs,
Will never more be seen...

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: CapriUni
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 12:59 AM

Don Firth wrote:

"If you were a hippo, Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud (Flanders and Swann) might be seriously sentimental. . . . "

Well, maybe... But I don't think any hippo could take the idea of a hippo "maid" combing her long hair very seriously. That might be akin to the human song:

Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot
And can you tie them in a bow? Can ya throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a Continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low

And besides, I'm not a hippo, so I wouldn't know ...

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 01:39 AM

Maybe the hippo in question might be regarded by others of his species as kinky?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Genie
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 02:29 AM

To Humoresque:
Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in the station, I love you, ... etc.

Mr. Red, You beat me to mentioning Mairzy Doats. It wasn't a folk song or a kids' song originally--just a popular novelty song.

I won't print all of it, but here is the "meat" (if that word can be applied to this song) of two of the verses:

1. Mairzy doats and dozey doats
And liddle lamzy divey,
Kiddely divey, too, wooden shoe? ...

2. Cowzy tweet and sowzy tweet
And liddle bearzy tunny
Beezely tunny too, wooden shoe? ...

Willa, you can't get much goofier than "A Capital Ship!" -- except, maybe, for "A Horse Named Bill!"

Genie

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 03:42 AM

What was the song about "And all the birds fly south in their dirty underwear"? Tennessee Birdwalk?

Also along the same line, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose.

Not quite folk but definitely goofy.

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Don Firth
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 12:03 PM

I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.

(Saw it in a Glen Campbell song book years ago)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: mousethief
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 12:19 PM

To the tune of "if you're happy and you know it"

Oh I wish I was a little piece of orange
Oh I wish I was a little piece of orange
I'd go squirty, squirty, squirty
And get everybody dirty
Oh I wish I was a little piece of orange

Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap (2x)
I'd go slidey, slidey slidey
Over everybody's hidey
Oh I wish.... (etc)

Other verses:

Mosquito (with accent on last syllable)
I'd go bitey bitey bitey
Under everybody's nightie...

Piece of glass
I'd go cutty cutty cutty
And get everybody bloody...

Bottle of pop
I'd go slurpy slurpy slurpy
And make everybody burpy...

***

That's all I remember of that one. My, the campfire memories come flooding back! "Shaving Cream" was a favorite (were there Boy Scouts who didn't listen to Dr. Demento in 1974? I don't think so!). Hmmm.

***

There were three jolly fishermen
There were three jolly fishermen
(left side:) Fisher! Fisher!
(right side:) Men men men!
(left side:) Fisher! Fisher!
(right side:) Men men men!
There were three jolly fishermen.

(all verses have the same structure)

The first's one's name was Abraham...
Abra! Abra! Ham ham ham! (etc)

The second one's name was Ishmael...
Ishmy! Ishmy! El el el! (etc)

The third one's name was Solomon...
Solo! Solo! Mun mun mun! (etc)

They all went down to Amsterdam...
Amster! Amster! Dam dam dam! (etc)

You shouldn't have said that naughty word...
Naughty! Naughty! Word word word! (etc)

***

(Doesn't take much to make Boy Scouts giggle -- or didn't in 1974, anyway.)

'Snuffernow.

Alex

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Gareth
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 04:36 PM

Carefull Alex - in todays climate you might get 10 years for making Boy Scouts giggle !

Gareth

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 10:34 PM

How about this one ... "I'll meet you in the Spring, If I can get through the mattress!. CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: Goofy Songs
From: GUEST,Phredde
Date: 14 Aug 23 - 06:08 AM

This from the NAAFi RAF Ahlhorn, West Germany circa 1956

Our's is not a happy family
No one laughs, and no one smiles
Mine's a dismal occupation
Crushing ice for Grand-dads piles.

Jane the Under-Housemaid vomits
Every morning just on eight,
To the horror of the Butler
Who's the author of her fate.

Aunty Jane has just aborted
for the twenty seventh time,
Uncle George has been deported
for a most unusual crime.

Life presents a dismal picture
Dark and dreary as the tomb
Fathers got an anal fissure
Mothers in bed with a prolapsed womb

Our is not a happy Family etc, etc
Sung to the tune of "Deutschland über alles" preferably with a glass of beer in the right hand