Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Emma
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 05:33 AM

Gentlemen will please refrain from urinating when the train is in the station darling I love you.

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: Dame Pattie Smith EPNS
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 10:49 AM

When you're on the railway train
Don't pull the communication chain
For you may have to pay a £5 fine
So ladies when you're being molested
Wait until you've been divested
It ain't worth a fiver otherwise.

Just thought I'd put that one in....

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: Midchuck
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 11:30 AM

"Humoresque" and the first part of "Swanee River" can be sung or played as counterpoint to each other. Many years ago, I saw Bill Keith play them BOTH AT ONCE on the 5-string banjo - one melody with thumb and one with fingers. In between banjo solo/duets he sang either the above verses or Swanee River, alternately.

P.

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: bubblyrat
Date: 30 Nov 11 - 03:41 AM

I remember seeing a TV documentary some years ago , about the Sidmouth International (as it was ) Folk Festival , and there was a coloured man playing two tunes simultaneously on the banjo ; I was amazed and fascinated, but can't remember his name --does anyone out there know ? Sorry to digress !!

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 12 - 10:12 AM

To the tune of Humoresque
Gentlemen will please refrain from urinating in the train,
When the train is standing in the station

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Feb 12 - 09:04 AM

I seem to remember that Chief Justice William O. Douglas of the US Supreme Court had something to do with composing this song. Here's the reference from Wikipedia:

The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs says that sometime in the early 1930s, according to his autobiography, Go East, Young Man (pp. 171-72), William O. Douglas and fellow Yale law school professor Thurman Arnold were riding the New Haven Railroad and were inspired by a sign in the toilet. "Thurman and I got the idea of putting these memorable words to music, and Thurman quickly came up with the musical refrain from Humoresque."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Mar 12 - 03:53 PM

Whilst the train is in the station,
Please restrain from urination,
If you must pass water,
Ask a porter.

30 years ago on the wall of Tunbridge Wells West Station
Kent

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 03:04 AM

When the train is in the station
We encourage constipation
When the train is moving so can you.




My great uncle taught me that after he heard me play Humoresque on the violin. I laughed so hard.

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Nancy
Date: 15 Jul 12 - 06:01 PM

My mother taught me this when I was small (!!)
Her version began,

When the train is in the station
We encourage constipation.
Minnie's cats are fine, and how are you?

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 15 Jul 12 - 07:40 PM

Very amusing, and yet another way to popularize classical music. Dvořák will easily survive this abuse of his piece, originally for piano solo, as he did with all the other abuses (with a solo violin or with sentimental lyrics).

MichaelTheGM, I am not sure whether I understand the joke about plate-laying; something for Cambridge insiders? Could the imagined completion be something like:

Gentlemen will please refrain
from masturbating in the train
and flushing down the toilet all the goo,
lest some lass between the rails
whose suicide attempt just fails,
instead of no life may emerge with two.

? (We are four people here, of three mother tongues, and have just decided that this qualifies as folk process.)

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Jul 12 - 11:31 PM

No, no specific Cambridge connection to my friends' rhythmic interpolation. Google 'platelaying' and you will find much about the technique of such a task on the 'permanent way', as early works on the topic call it.

~M~

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 16 Jul 12 - 12:25 AM

Rapparee - Benny Bell!

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 16 Jul 12 - 06:18 AM

Sorry, MtheGM, Google leads to a lot of information about rail building, but leaves me alone about the pun - if there is any. The only clue I found is at Urban Dictionary under plate job - is that a common practice in Cambridge?

If we are really into folk research, we must not be afraid of the lowest regions ...

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Jul 12 - 08:56 AM

No pun ~~ just an idea of what the man under the train might have been doing which added a bit of twiddle to the end of the line. Can't quite make out what you are looking for here.

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 16 Jul 12 - 03:26 PM

Thanks, Michael; so at least it's not a pun that everyone understands but me. Still I wonder.

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Lord Primark
Date: 16 Jul 12 - 05:32 PM

I used to work with the steam engines at Tyseley Musuem Depot near Birmingham in the 70s.
Some of the older chaps there used to sing this song.

The version they sung was:

While the train is in the station
please refrain from urination.
Have regard for railway property.
If you wish to pass on water
go and ask a railway porter
he'll direct you to the station lavatory.

.. didn't realise it was a well known ditty.
Could be they had misremembered it, or adapted it a bit.

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Me Potter
Date: 16 Aug 15 - 05:38 AM

In the RAF we used to sing

Whwn the train is in the station
Please encourage constipation
Do ot leave a smaell upon the line
Passengers will please refarin
From passing water on the train...
(Can''t remember any mopre!)

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Sceadugenga
Date: 01 Oct 15 - 04:26 AM

This is how I remember it, two verses:

If your train is in the station please refrain from urination
have respect for railway property
If you want to pass some water go and ask a railway porter
he'll direct you to a lavatory

If your train is stationary and you want to go quite heavy
have respect for railway property,
from the carriage you must wander and a penny you must squander
to relieve yourself with might and main

Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque)
From: GUEST,ffred pierssen
Date: 14 Apr 17 - 08:47 AM

Thanks for the thread. One of my band mates knows the song but I don't. However, I have memories of riding the train between Chicago and Washington DC in the early 1980's. I definitely could see (and hear) the tracks through the toilet. More recently -- 2014 -- on the Trans-Siberian Railway ("Rossiya") toilets were locked while at the station or passing through urban areas. Although the train itself was electric, the cars were heated with coal. Potential lyric material there.

Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 22 - 10:59 PM

This is one I remember we used to sing coming home from the "Orford" (it was a pub in Warrington) after chuckin' out time.


Sung to : - Dvorák: Humoresque No. 7 in G-Flat Major

If the gentlemen would please refrain
from urinating while the train
is standing at the platform to refuel.
Those who feel they must pass water
would they kindly ask the porter
for the bucket in their vestibule.

So while the train is in the station
Please refrain from urination
Have regard for railway property
If you want to pass some water
Go and ask the station's porter
He'll direct you to the nearest lavatory

Piddling while the train is moving
Is another way of proving
Control of hand and eye is very sure.
We like to keep our toilets neat
So please don't piss upon the seat
Or, what is much worse, s**t upon the floor.

If twenty quid you can afford,
Then pull that communication cord
Though you'll be that much poorer if you do.
But,if twenty quid you do not own,
Then leave the Fu***ng thing alone;
And that,my friend,is my advice to you !!

In the carriage there's a chain
That if you pull, it stops the train
There's a twenty pound fine if you are unwise
So, ladies if you're being molested
Wait until you've been divested
Or it isn't worth four fivers other wise

Newly weds within the carriage
Please don't consummate your marriage
While the train is standing here at Crewe.
Please restrain that natural function,
Till we get to Clapham Junction,
Where you'll find there's fu** all else to do.


Passengers should please refrain,
From throwing dog-ends down the drain;
To do a thing like that is not quite right;
Railway-workers on the line,
might try and catch them just in time,
And soggy fags are Fu***n' hard to light!.

There were a couple more verses but I can't remember 'em.

Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)
From: GUEST,Gary Ford
Date: 05 Apr 23 - 01:16 PM

I always knew it as;

When the train is in the station,
Please refrain from urination,
When the passengers are getting off.

If you want to go quite heavy,
Always ask a railway porter,
He will try to help you if he can

Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)
From: and e
Date: 06 Apr 23 - 07:30 PM

HUMORESQUE

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets
While the train is standing
In the station; I love you!

We encourage constipation while
The train is standing in
The station; moonlight brings me
Memories of you!

If you find you must make water
You can call the porter,
He will place a vessel
In the vestibule.

So—passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets
While the train is standing
In the station.

That's the Golden Rule!

Pg 77 of "The Wrecks", which was published ca 1933 in Reno, Nevada for a private men's club.

Copy is online here: https://archive.org/details/1933ca-the-wrecks-red-plush-edition-50-copies

Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)
From: and e
Date: 06 Apr 23 - 07:57 PM

HUMORESQUE
(From the tune of the same name)

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the Station, I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the Station
While the train is moving, so can you.

If you must water, please call the porter
And he will place a vessel in the vestibule
Tramps who're riding underneath
Will catch it in the face and teeth
The running water makes me think of you.
- - - -
We like to go out after dark
And goose the statues in the dark
If Sherman's horse can take it –
So can you.
Chorus girls and dancing ladies
Must take douches or have babies –
How do you like the way I part my hair
- - - -
Little birds that fly the ocean
When their bowels receive the motion
Drop their little droplets in the sea.
That is how they formed Great Britain –
It was by the seagull shittin'
And the evidence is here for all to see.

From Songs of the Century dated March 1945. It can be seen online here:

https://archive.org/details/1945songsofthecentury/mode/2up

Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)
From: and e
Date: 06 Apr 23 - 08:25 PM

MORE HUMORESQUE

Every evening after dark
We goose the statues in the park,
If Sherman's horse can take it why can't you?

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets on the train
While the train is standing in the sta-shun.

I've had trouble passing water
Since I crewed your fucking daughter,
Footprints on the dashboard upside do-own.

From Aloha Jigpoha. A mimeographed songbook issued in 1945, in Honolulu, HI.

Download here: https://archive.org/details/1945alohajigpoha

Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque)
From: and e
Date: 06 Apr 23 - 08:42 PM

Passengers will please refrain
From washing hand upon the train
While the train is in the station.
I love you.
And if you spit upon the walk
Or write upon the walk
Or write upon the ...

Snippet view of White Piracy, 1933, page 88. Bowdlerized but slightly antedating it.

See google books here: White Piracy