BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 09:54 PM

Oh gawd no.....not the Flaming Fart Swan Hi-Dive again........The last time he did that in here a passing guest shit in the Jell-O pit and we were a week getting the smell out of here...............Mario, I hate to mention this but I just found Cleigh in the sprouts and uh...........well, wash 'em good or throw them out.......sorry........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dave Swan
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 09:47 PM

Funny looking skinny middle aged guy slides goofy moustache out of a middle aged Volvo. It's quiet in the tavern parking lot (car park..simultaneous translation provided by Lane, Fielding, Patterson & Swan , Layabouts for Hire) no sled dog races tonight. None of the Reg boys in sight. The coast is clear to unload the props. Two gallons of kerosene (parafin), a bucket of lime Jello (insert British jelled dessert, what do you want for free from a bunch of layabouts?), one fire helmet, one new pair of fishnet stockings, a thirty foot extension ladder, a box of Swan Vestas, half a gorilla suit. Time for the diving flaming fart wearing half a gorilla suit into an ignited fireman's helmet full of lime Jello trick. It hasn't been done in years, but Jen Ellen's thrown open the tavern doors, and what the hell, it'll probably only cost a femur.

Suddenly, he finds himself in a hairy half Nelson. A note, scrawled in crayon is thrust into his hand. He holds it before his bulging eyes. YOU pRty Kute HAF hAirY Guyyyyyyyyyyyy, Tak mi intwo TvaRn. We Mak my Big M ick gellUS. DANCE wiht ME . Kiss me HUGG me, Lke I hug you.

He realizes that it's Koko in the throws of her primate hormones, come to reclaim Big Mick, her lost jungle love.

He screams with his last breath "Take her off by hands, you big bog trotter...." then with visions of hairy, rubbery lips descending onto his, he passes into tortured unconsciousness.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 07:16 PM

LOL, I love these things!

Fiddler says it is time for a break long enough to taste the auroch before it is gone. Those cats under the tree seem just a tad soused, no more Baileys for a bit. I don't want to know about hungover cats....the chamelons seem safe from them for a while, at least.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: My guru always said
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 06:54 PM

From beneath the tree came what sounded like 'Wow!' followed by 'Oops, pardon me!' The chameleons tittered nervously...

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: My guru always said
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 06:44 PM

'OK, so the plan is - we hold this thing with the Squeak in it hostage till it's namesake promises to serve us with Baileys & Roast Aurochs for the rest of our time' the Tabby confided.

Camo thought about this for a while & pointed out a possible loop-hole. 'They don't know what we're talking about though, how're they going to know what we want'.

'Well, we're doing pretty well so far today, that last refill of Baileys came at exactly the right time. Sure, it's spooky, but I reckon there's a guiding hand somewhere in this joint who can wave a magic wand & I'm gonna find out who it is right now!!!'

Sliding out from behind the empty bowl, the Stray tries stretching... first one paw slips, then another & she begins a slow descent back to the sawdust. 'Maybe a bit later on though...'

The Cappucin climbed carefully down from his favorite perch & gently pushed the shit-faced cat back under the tree.

The sound of purring filled the room, followed by an unmistakable 'plop' of sprout into custard.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Gareth
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 06:43 PM

The other side door opens - a view over the veldt is exposed, JEM- Wales staggerd in, sunburn peeling, she saunters over to the Christmas tree and quietly removes a pair of chameleons from her trekcot, and places them on the tree. They quietly have a nervous break down trying to match th flashing lights.

( True she did this once - Very confused chameleons ! )

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 06:12 PM

I walk over to 'My Guru always said' and being high on tequila, I give him a tit shot, exposing my breasts which are 48"long. "Now who are you calling a BLOKE?" The children carolers stare with shock and horror on their faces. I turn away whistling, 'Knockers Up' and walk over to do some knee slapping with the fiddler players.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 06:06 PM

Is any one else getting the visuals I am from the phrase "leather mouse"?

no? okay - I guess I'm more perverted then I thought!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 05:54 PM

The two cats leave off batting around the leather mouse...the poor thing is a bit worse for wear by this time, anyway...and go over to check out what some clumsy oaf poured into their drinking bowl. Certainly isn't water...milk? cream? Baileys!!! They dive in, figuratively and literally.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dead Horse
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 05:11 PM

"Can't help ya there, MMate. But I have got a soda syphon full of Sloe Gin, its got one o' them Sparklets thingys in, so the stuff comes out under pressure. It don't harm the flavour and it gives it a good head"

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: GUEST,YT still cookieless
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 05:01 PM

Refreshed by a fell cold ales, YT wanders over to the tree, scratches the two cats behind their respective ears, and pulls a pile of clip-on koalas and kangaroos out of his pockets with which he proceeds to adorn the tree.

Jeez, seems like everywhere I go they give me one of thiese things. It's like "You poor bloody pom, have a clip-on koala". I'm not one to complain but I'd rather have a beer.

As Mario reenters the bar from the southern hemisphere door, a loud hammering is heard and the door flies open to reveal a sunburnt and bewhiskered Morris dancing side, who charge into the bar with unearthly whoops at the sight of beer, women and (in one case) sheep. In no time the young nubile exotic dancer has been tied to a post with handkerchiefs and a fertility dance commences around her - not as though she looks as if she needs one. Others have hijacked the inflatable sheep and are playfully batting it around the roof with Morris sticks, while the rest are lining the bar.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 04:41 PM

Who the HECK ordered 120 bushels of Brussels Sprouts! the entire celler is full of sprouts!    I went down to get some parsnips...and found the celler full of sprouts.

I need a drink. caffiene. Lots of caffiene.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dead Horse
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 04:37 PM

"Always wanted to be a star, even if it is sittin' atop this tree" muses the old sea-dog. "Hope ta Christ no bugger takes me for a fairy"
He decides to climb down and see what the poor folks are doing, and on reaching the bottom, accidently knocks the bottle of Baileys over, spilling the contents into the cats bowl. He doesn't notice.
He HAS noticed that the front door leads to a frozen European winter, while the side door comes out on the Dandenong Ranges. So he gets to figuring..........and pushes through the Fire Exit. "SHIT" He shouts. "I was hopin' this'n led to Louisiana, not bloody Hull9"

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 04:20 PM

LOL Morty!!! Well done!! I figgered you'd enjoy having a whole mess of guys look up to you!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 04:10 PM

Meanwhile there are dark mutterings over in the beer stained corner where Morticia and the Munchkins have united to form a militant faction of the Small Persons& Elves Workers Evolutionary Dawn ( SPEWED for short).

"Rain, rain go away,
Let someone else fill Santa's Sleigh"

and

"One, two, One two three
YOU try sitting up a tree"

can be heard over the fiddle music.Can you say Pete Seeger?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 03:56 PM

....meanwhile, back in the Southern Hemisphere pasture....

"So there I was just mindin' me own business when this big sumbitch with wild red hair and beard pulls me through this strange looking and awful smelling place and pushes me through the back door and here I am. I don't really mind the change in the weather too much, ya know. It were snowin' to beat the band back in that other place. Nice and warm here. But, it was gettin' on toward Christmas, ya know, and I was really lookin' forward to some leftover sprouts in a coupla weeks. Don't suppose sprouts grow 'round here this time a year, do they?"

"Holy Christ!!!! What the fook is that? Looks like a fookin' red rat but the sumbitch is six fookin' feet tall! What? A kangaroo? So that's what a kangaroo is! Heard of 'em before, but never seen one. Say what? They train 'em to box? No shit? Don't suppose one of 'em would be interested in going a round or two with a fellow named Winston, do ya?"

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 02:15 PM

She had a wooden leg,
it was holow down the middle
And when she put a string on it
she played it like a fiddle!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 02:09 PM

LOL!!!!

Brown stuff in a giant mug
Brown stuff on the floor
Scratch me with a kitty-cat,
An' I'll come back for more!!

With a ring-a-ding-a-dong, ring-a-ding-a-daddio! My that Mario sure does serve up a mean Auroch!!

LOL!!

An' then she fell in love
With a fella with a stammer
When he tried to run away,
She hit him with a hammer!!




A

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 02:01 PM

Auroch in the roast pan,
Raptor on the grill,
Granny will your cat scratch?
Chile, she will!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:57 PM

I will never do acid again, I swear, never, never, never

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:52 PM

In the far corner over by the gambling machines, Geoff the Duck prepares for the second half of this evenings entertainment in which the star of the show is himself. Geoff strips down to a leopard print thong and spends a long while chosing his drinking straw and using magic extends it between floor and ceiling. After that he carefully places the buckets of custard. Yes Geoff the Duck is going to perform his party trick as the finale to this evening entertainment......JUGGLING CUSTARD WHILE POLE DANCING!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:47 PM

Some come to work, while others do play...
some come to drown their sorrows away

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:41 PM

...and the chorus chimes in to rollicking bluegrass rhythms:

CHicken in the breadpan,
Kickin' up dough!
Granny will your dog bite?
No, chile, no!...


Laughter resounds until the timbers shake....

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: My guru always said
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:08 PM

For the second time that day the Tabby is in exactly the right place at the right time - is that lucky or what? She wonders if the Lady with the strange & mysterious powers has had anything to do with it??

Then looking around & with a determined sort of cross-eyed grin on her face, hauls the Velociraptor off the bar & legs it under the tree. She & Camo waste no time in looking at the big bird.

The bloke in the corner drinking the Cuervo does a double-take as he realises that his dinner has just disappeared. 'Shoulda bin quicker puttin them pressies under the tree' thinks he....

Burping is heard from the lower branches of the tree & the yellow nose-flute is rocking away next to the antique gold glass ball. The swarthy old Seadog looks around curiously. The Fiddler has woken up & she & the Silvertone launch into another tune....

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 12:45 PM

(Matt! Where you been?!!!?)

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 12:44 PM

Dark-eyed stranger asks leans over and asks me what I would like to drink... Deciding not to mix my drinks I order a Baileys on ice making sure that Morty, Noreen and Liz get a top up too........

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 12:43 PM

Nobody has noticed that I am still here in my corner of the bar sipping on Cuervo but I see the party is raging all around me, so I reach into my bag of tricks and pull out my A, I start playing a long, slow rendition of Come into my Kitchen, I'm making up the words as I go-
I'm at the mudcat tavern, it's quite a scene.
You can shake your monkey,
if you know what I mean.
oh won't you come, into MMario's kitchen
because it's going to be snowing outdoors.

Well there's plenty to drink
and plenty to eat
MMario cookin' up, big ol' hunks of meat.
Oh- won't you come on, into MMario's kitchen
because it's going to be snowing outdoors.

Well I'm havin' a good time,
and the music is fine.
Everybody off there feet,
just a' shakin' their behinds
Oh, won't you come into MMario's kitchen,
Because it's going to be snowing outdoors.


MMario shoots a glance at me, and I read it like, "hey I don't want anyone in my kitchen, here eat a sausage" I put down my harp.

There was something else I had to do anyway, so I reach into my bag of tricks and find the video of "The Wizard of Oz" and and an old copy of "Through The Looking Glass" and I go over and put it under the tree.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 12:38 PM

*kicks amp*

*rips into Vince Guaraldi's "Christmastime is Here" with heavy distortion like Steve Vai does...

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 12:04 PM

*puts the horse out to pasture behind the Tavern - using the Southern Hemisphere door. *

didn't mean to scare you. I only meant you'd be good to TURN the spit...won't need you for a bit anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:59 AM

The wrinkle faced balding Chief Munchkin, well into his third pint, is tearfully relating the story of his brother-in-law's third cousin once removed, except that he can't quite articulate the relationship clearly for some reason.

"Annywye, I loiked 'im, I did!! (sniff!) And when they tole me he'd ended up hanging up there in that tree, it nearly broke my 'eart!! We tried to arrange for some studio hands wiv a ladder tuh git him down, like, but the Goldwyn Meyer finks wouldn't allow it!! I tell yer, I was 'eartbroke."

"Aw, sweetie," Morty chirps, "I know eggzackly how you feels!"

THey hold hands over their empty platters and gaze tearfully into each other's eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:59 AM

Suddenly, in runs the belly dancer, in a red outfit trimmed with white marabou, laden with little tinkling bells, dancing to Bruce Cockburn's version of Angels We Have Heard on High.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: GUEST,Sarah
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:50 AM

Someone in Hull dials 999!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:44 AM

There is a clatter of hooves outside the door and an old horse trots into the bar. Written on a halter around it's neck is the incription "PUNCH - if found - please return to Humberside, England".
MMario the Chef rushes into the bar and drags it off saying "Just what I need for my spice and herb Spit-Roast".

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:18 AM

SOmeone opens the door and summons in the pathetic carolers, who are all under three feet tall with bright red noses and twinkly little eyes. The pathetic expressions they had been trying on for size quickly melt in the warm room as all eight of them come trooping in and notice MMario's gigantic sausage ... make that, platter of sausages with garlic standing on the buffet table by the fireplace. THey come scrambling up to form a food-line, pushing for place and bumping their heads against the edge of the table in their anxiety to get full rashers.

"Move over, you son of a Gillikin!! I was here first!!"

"Oh, you were not! just because you used to be the Mayor, you give yourself such airs."

"Oh, airs, is it then? Talk like such a yellow-blood just because you think the Lollipop League was such hot stuff. I oughta feed you to the witch!"

"I'll stuff you under an old house, you bag of wind!"

Others among the miniscule league start to join in the squabble, but Morticia intervenes.

"Now, cousins...I am sure there's more than enough for all your wee little bellies! Be nice, it's Christmas."

The leader of the wee gang puts down a large yellow brick with which he was about to assert his alpha status and looks up at the nice smile coming his way from Morty.

"Hey, there sweet heart!! You sure are tall!! Where'd you come from?? You look a little like my old buddy Glinda the Good! COme over here and tell me all about yourself!!"

The two of them carry heaped platters and tall mugs of brown ale to a small table on the opposite side of the room, and are soon immersed in deep conversation which shall go unreported....

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:09 AM

oh! *plops a large platter on bar. It contains a vagualy birdlike roasted object - looking like a gigantic turkey with legs proportioned almost like a grasshoppers - and a long, long neck* Try the velociraptor - tastes like chicken - sorta.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:06 AM

In spite of the Captain Ahab look-alike on top of the tree who is still brandishing his cutlass and making incoherent threats the carol singing children enter to the bar and are provided with stew consisting mainly of the dead cat that the old man in the corner brought in.

Meanwhile the dark-eyed stranger has come to a decision, and climbing on the bar, manages to whisper something into catPHiddle's ear.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 11:02 AM

Okay! It's amazing how many roasts you can cook when you use an entire ROOM as an oven!!!!! The first of the sausages are ready - plus a nice juicy rare aurochs roast. It be about half an hour for medium roast...

*puts out a platter of garlic sausages, another of rare aurochs slices; a mound of coriander scented sausages, a platter of rosemary and mustard seasoned links.*

dipping sauces are lined up on the mantlepiece - and watch it, the habenero mustard is a little spicy.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: My guru always said
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 10:41 AM

Nose to nose & rear to rear the tabby & tortoiseshell greet each other as old friends do.

'Hey, 'Sand-Camoflaged-Lizard-Strike' (Camo for short), good to see you, you oull bugger. Just waiting to see if these folks get the idea to top up the Baileys bowl. Might have to nudge them a bit, but I have a cunning plan...'

'How's the aurochs getting along? Sure smelling tasty - roast or sausage? Don't tell me they put garlic all over it? We'll need to hold our noses, but it'll be worth it I suppose' replied Camo, settling in for a long wait.

Silently they both analysed the contents of the leather mouse which had come undone at the seams. Then studied the rabbit fur toy.

'I bet it squeaks' Camo declared, and dozed off in the warmth from the nearby fire.

Leonetta the nameless Tabby sidled up to the bar, leapt & tentatively sniffed at the puddle of Guiness which just happened to be pillowing the Drunk's head.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dead Horse
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 10:39 AM

The figure atop the tree pulls a cutlass from under his sou'wester. "Do I hear Carol Singers?" he shouts. "Stand by to repel boarders"

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: mg
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:18 AM

and then, from outside, the most ragged bunch of glue-sniffing, malnourished, parasite-ridden children of the streets, singing in perfect harmony, "It came upon a midnight clear.."

and one slips to the door..please miss, we're hungry...

mg

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: GUEST,Yorkshire Tony who's lost his cookie
Date: 11 Dec 02 - 01:06 AM

A door which no one seems to have noticed before opens with a creek and a sunburnt, bearded figure in felt hat, singlet, shorts and thongs (the rubber antipodean variety) enters.

Jeez, what are you lot all rugged up for? You could fry an egg on the pavement out there and we haven't seen a drop of rain in three months. Someone give me a cold beer for Christ's sake.

His aged tortoiseshell cat follows more demurely lured on by the aroma of cream and roasting aurochs. She sees the other moggy by the fire and wanders over to say hello, and is there any Baileys left?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 09:30 PM

Shambling oddbod in a bright chartreuse blouson and puce trousers charges in through the door. Hi tie catches on the hinge and he is catapulted back into the street!
There ensues a crashing noise as he skittles the garbage cans, followed by a short siren blast, as the cop car careers sideways into the trash!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 08:38 PM

Well, perhaps the leather mouse was just a bit tacky. I am sure the Tavern Mog would prefer one made of real rabbit fur, with a squeaky inside. Here ya go, mog doll. This one should keep you happy for a while.

Exhausted, frostbitten frozen fiddler sneaks off to find recliner with a sugar dog in it.........scooch over, there, sugar dog, I am a tired frozen fiddler. Ahhhhh, that's better. snooze, snooze, SNORE! SNORE!! (yes, this tiny elfin frozen fidder snores............)

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: Dead Horse
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 08:13 PM

The old sea-dog eyes the top of the now empty tree, and remembering days long passed, starts climbing. Reaching the top, he settles down to act as look-out.
From within the voluminous folds of his old sou'wester he drags out an ancient weather-beaten chinese imitation cajun kazoo, and begins playing Jolie Blonde as the tears roll down his cheeks.
"Oh! Oh! Ma jolie blonde
Oh! Oh! Oh! T'es p'tite fille
Jolie blonde, si jolie
Oh! T'es magnifique
Tu m'as quitté, pour t'en aller
Mais quel espoir me va moé avoir de ramener?"
Seeing the strange blue sky with the words *Translate Page From English to French* he turns and spits to leeward.
"Can't translate shit" he says, then plays a more cheerfull song.
Old Stormy, he is dead an' gone, timme way, ye Stormalong
Old Stormy he is dead an' gone, Aye, aye, aye, Mr Stormalong.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: My guru always said
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 07:27 PM

'Oh, so it's a Wildebeast now, eh? Still smells like roasting meat to me... wonder how much longer it's got to go? Why spoil a good roast with garlic? It's a vegetable isn't it? The hor's d'euvrs (??) were excellent though, & Baileys, well, a cat could get used to that stuff. Any more there LTS? Just pass it along under the table, there's a good lass.'

The leather mouse makes a desperate bit for freedom, but she's onto it in a flash, throwing it into the air, catching it, throwing it again and.... Oops, she's out in the open & there's all these people around. Freezing into place, she calmly sits & starts to wash her whiskers - she wasn't playing at all, doesn't do that sort of thing of course.

'Now where's that lovely Fairy gone from the top of the tree? Perhaps her magic wand could make me understand these humans... Naah, probably not. They sure are good with their fingers making all that music from all those instruments! Us cats have only got our voices & humans only understand the purring bit.....'

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 07:27 PM

SINSULL sighs in relief to find the Ladies Room finally available. She makes her way to the nearest stall and emerges several minutes later totally confused. "Is the way out?" she asks while several young punks snicker at her apparent inebriation. The sad truth is she is simply lost.
Morticia, sensing that SINS has once again confused north with south and east with west, gently steers her to the bar and another JD. "Damn maps are never done to scale. And the sun has set. How the hell am I supposed to find my way out? No wonder it took the Wise Men years to find Bethlehem. Probably used a AAA map." As she grumbles on, Morticia makes a hasty retreat to join more pleasant company.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 06:47 PM

Leonetta the stray cat looks over at the guy in the corner...thinks about it a little bit, and decides it really isn't worth getting up for. She reaches out and bats the leather mouse around for a while...that wildebeest on the barbie is REALLY starting to smell good...

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 06:42 PM

Piss off, Leo

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: MMario
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 06:35 PM

who's the guy in the corner doing the wooden indian imitation? Somebody warn him he's standing in front of the dart board, would you? He might take it wrong if someone starts up a game, especially with the new rocket propelled darts.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 06:32 PM

A dark eyed stranger, walks in, closing the door with a thud. People glance up, but as he simply orders a beer and stands in a corner, he is soon forgotten.

He dooes however notice catsPHiddle, notes how attractive she is, and wonders how he might get to talk with her.