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BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: mg Date: 16 Dec 02 - 01:04 AM Hold the chocolate for a second. There is a bountiful bevy of young Swedish maidens with white dresses and candles in their blond hair singing Santa Lucia. They are bringing with them pails and pails of lutefisk. And it does not go with chocolate. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 16 Dec 02 - 01:47 AM Scruffington lowers his now-empty tankard with a prolonged "Aaaaaaah!" and wipes his whiskers clear. Then he lifts the mug again, this time to his bad eye, which examines it suspiciously. "Hmmmm.... raku, eh? Well, that bastard won't hold up long. Now for that other matter..." He heads over to the dark corner and peers down at its sole denizen. "Yore name Leej?" Receiving an unfriendly glare in response, he adds, "Well, I don't give no rodent's rectum meself, but I did meet pale-lookin' feller out on the trail with his dobro stuck in somethin' unmentionable. Ast me t'pass a message on to one Eb'neezer Leej, so he did. An' I'll take that raised eyebrow for a conf'mation of yore incognito, so t'speak. He said t'say that the deal's orf for now an' ye can carry on with yer prickish ways for another year at least. Says the talks broke down an' the spirits is out on strike since midnight. Says ye'd be happy with the news and that ye'd stand me a drink for passin' it on." "Or not. Worth a try tho'..." Scruffington turns and heads back out of the tavern, but stops by the tree. He fishes in the pocket of his gig bag and draws forth a sloppily soldered ornament made with old useless Kyser capoes with the springs broken or missing. He hangs it from the end of a branch, then continues on out of the tavern. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Dec 02 - 02:57 AM HA!! Rodent's Rectum... must remember that one.... Can someone get that chameleon off MMarios' hawiaian shirt, before he does himself a mischief? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: My guru always said Date: 16 Dec 02 - 04:17 AM Spot the Dog was happily being fed the tenderest morsels left on the Velociraptor carcass. He & Camo pulled the wishbone while everyone in the bar crossed their fingers & with eyes tightly shut - made a wish.... 'This bone looks like it'll make someone a good tipper' declares the Stray. 'That old fellas been a long time posting his letters, bet he'd be able to get a good beat on his Rhan with this', and proceeded to clean the bone for action. The tree was almost completely decorated now, the rainbow cd's shimmering in the prismatic effect of so many raised glasses. Presents were piled high under the tree - who had put them there & who were they for? No-one knew, it was a secret.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 16 Dec 02 - 11:33 AM *replenishes the aurochs platter AGAIN!* (hmmmm- runnning low - maybe I better toss those two cornish game hens on the grill.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 16 Dec 02 - 12:20 PM Have you ever tried nailin' Blakeys into a pair of wellies? It don't do the waterproofin' any good, mate. AND ye canna creep up on the sheep any more. Still, the blacked up faces mean we stand a fair chance in the dark. I passed by the front door, I cried bye-bye on the bell. Someone opened the door, oh, ya yaie, my heart aches. I can see, and think about, the lit candle Whatever comes to pass, my heart aches. I knocked on your door, when it opened Oh, I see your mum cry, and you - in your coffin. "Ye gods, that sure is cheerfull music to waltz by" Having finished his Cajun classic, (I kid you, not) the old sea-dog hangs an inflateable song bird on the tree, saying "Blow that for a lark" and retires once more to the bar for a nice drop of grog - hold the water. His better half removes her taps and unzips the accordian bag, and brings forth...............a triangle. "Where was ye when I needed ya?" he shouts from the barstool. "In bed with a headache" she replies "and get me a Guinness while yer at it, ye old bastard" "Coming up, you smooth talkin' bitch. You want chocolate with that?" "No fancy cocktails fer me, you old scroat" As their love talk continues in the background, Morti slips into a back room with a huge grin. The huge grin being attached to a small elf. A couple of minutes later, Morti returns with a huge grin. This time it's her own, and she has an equally huge sack on her back. The elf is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he has gone to a *better place* |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Gareth Date: 16 Dec 02 - 01:52 PM Liz - You would be suprised how many Welsh (and Sheep) live down in darkest Kent !!! Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 16 Dec 02 - 02:11 PM North door swings open again to admit several errant gusts of snowflake-laden wind, followed by a frozen-looking dude in a Armani suit, carrying jumper cables. "Damned cheap battery!" He fails to notice the ice demon which slips into the Tavern behind him and leaps up to secret itself amongst the roof beams. Armani shuffles over to the bar, slapping his circulatory system back awake. "Bartender! A double shot of Scotch, please. Neat!" "Alright", says the barkeep, pouring and eyeing the fellow with his cables. "But don't you go startin' nuthin'..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Morticia Date: 16 Dec 02 - 02:22 PM All together now.... " I saw Morti mugging Santa Claus" Sharing out the spoils feverishly so she can share the blame around too, (just in case, you understand),Morti makes a mistake or two in distribution...nothing serious you understand.Dead Horse looks delightful in that lace basque and secretly I suspect Jen has always wanted a set of Fart-alonga-Favourites cds. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Catherine Jayne Date: 16 Dec 02 - 02:30 PM lol!! Morti walks around distributing the contents of Santa's sack while demanding snogs underneath the mistletoe she is wearing on her headband......the men are queing up!!!!! Best get some good lip balm girl with all that snoggin!!!! Jen mugs Oakley for some sprouts so she can have a go with the Fart-along-a-Favourites CD......'spaw looks on turning green with envy! Dead Horse performs a mini fashion show in his new lace basque while Morti snogs Santa under the mistletoe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Catherine Jayne Date: 16 Dec 02 - 02:31 PM Noreen walks in escorted by Lord Skipjack and a large bottle of Moet to celebrate her Birthday. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rapparee Date: 16 Dec 02 - 02:43 PM Gathered around the festive centers (The Tree and The Bar, which should be the name of an old Christmas Carol or a Country-Western song but isn't), all the assembled 'Catters broke into a song to celebrate the dual birthdays of Noreen and Beethoven: "Oh, Freundlich...er, ah, hell, it's in bloody German, fer Chrissakes...oh, fergiddit..." A duo did play a rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday To You" on lute and piobrach, however, while Welsh Courgies howled along. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rustic Rebel Date: 16 Dec 02 - 04:00 PM Hey! Who was that gorgeous hunk of man who left those golden kona bricks anyway? What am I seeing here? Am I going drunkingly insane? I am seeing before my eyes an apparition! The nearer it comes to me I see it is John Lennon with eight little people carrying ukuleles. John comes up to me and hands me a tamborine, takes my hand and heads for the stage. With all the little ukulele players and John we start his song: Happy Christmas (War Is Over) John Lennon and Yoko Ono And so this is Christmas and what have you done Another year over; a new one just begun And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun The near and the dear one, the old and the young A Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one without any fear So this is Christmas, for weak and for strong The rich and the poor one, the road is so long So Happy Christmas for black and for white The yellow and red one, and stop all the fight A Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one without any fear So this is Christmas and what have we done Another year over, a new one just begun So Happy Christmas, I hope you have fun The near and the dear one, the old and the young A Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one without any fear [Intstrumental] So this is Christmas and what have you done Another year over; a new one just begun And so Happy Christmas; we hope you have fun The near and the dear one, the old and the young A Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one without any fear Is this a ghost of Christmas past, I wonder. I hand John the tamborine, and before they disappear, one little person who played the ukalele went over and set his ukalele under the tree, speaking low he said something about Tiny Tim, but I couldn't quite make out the words he spoke. John said one more thing to me before he left. He said,"you all should check out This site and listen to Yoko's version of 'Give Peace A Chance' , and maybe sign the petition. He turned and told everyone to 'Imagine', and they disappeared. Damn! That was fun. Hey barkeep could I please have another cuervo and lime. (a little coconut on the side) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 16 Dec 02 - 04:24 PM Meanwhile.... The ice demon that had followed the Armani-suited displaced yuppie into the Tavern has been watching the proceedings and idly humming "The Acid Queen" from The Who's rock opera "Tommy". "Ah well," he mumbles to himself, "Enough of this spectatin' stuff. Let's start some mischief." He trains his reptilian eyes on the Guinness keg, nods his head, blinks, and a searing beam of unimaginable cold is emitted from his eyes. It slams into the Guinness keg with an audible sizzling sound and instantly freezes the contents solid. "All right!" he chuckles to himself, "No more Guinness! Tee hee! The last time a tavern full of folk musicians ran out of Guinness there was a riot that took a whole precinct-houseful of cops to break up. Let's just sit back and see what happens.....Ya know, that Gargoyle guy ain't shit up beside me!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 16 Dec 02 - 04:51 PM ...as the remaining members of SPEWED link hands around the Chritmas Tree and begin swaying and crooning: Mark and Harold are not gay, "They're just friends", their mothers say... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Dec 02 - 05:45 PM And someone, somewhere, breaks into 'Walking round in Womens' underwear'..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rapparee Date: 16 Dec 02 - 06:29 PM ...and "Wreck Yer Balls On Fences, Golly!".... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Gareth Date: 16 Dec 02 - 06:37 PM Nevermind it will soon be the day of the Winter Solistice (SP) The Lads and Ladettes of Aberflyhalf RFC are looking for a suitable virgin sacrifice - No, the inflatable sheep will not do, any Ovine creature in the proximity of a Morris Group has thier honour besmirched, and the name, Dead Horse Morris, does not refer to thier hoodening. They open the temporal door onto the Isle of Sheppy . a pack of Corgi's departs with instructions to find a suitable candidate. They are frustrated, after all this is the Island of Sheep, and conveniently close to the old Navy Bases of Chatham and Sheerness, no luck, but the temporal door to Hul9 opens. Nipping at the heels the Corgi's drive Punch the Horse towards the door. There is a role of drums, whose hide shall enliven the Beltain celebrations ? With thier White Robes on will they be mistaken for residents of/from Alabama. Will the Chameleons become confused ? Will the beer see the night out ? Will the Aberflyhalf RFC Choir be sober enough to celebrate Beltain ? Will any catters convert them back to something approaching Christianity ? The Chorus continues in its drunken fashion :_ " Twas Xmas day in the work house, The Paupers had nothing to eat, - The rest of this is censored as this is a familly Chat room !!!! Punch the Horse spots the Morris Men, remembers what happened at the Chimney Boy at Faversham, and immediatly places its rear quarters against the wall. The Christmas tree has seen it all over the years and smiles. Garth Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: JenEllen Date: 16 Dec 02 - 06:51 PM Fart-alonga-Favourites on CD? Oh, Morti, how ever did you know? I suspect (and I'm hardly ever wrong about these things) that with the fuel at the buffet, and the various rip-snorters and tight-assed #$%@ers around here, we could cover a few octaves on our own. Mudcat Fartenackle Choir auditions to be held at the furthest corner from the fireplace. B.Y.O.C. (bring yer own clothespin---an' it does give a new meaning to "smoke 'em if ya got 'em", don't it?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: artbrooks Date: 16 Dec 02 - 07:55 PM The Fartenackle Choir? HERE? The scruffy little guy hasn't heard such news in...hours. He goes off to his corner and opens his sack lunch...a beef and bean chimichanga with extra guacamole, green chile and jalapeno jack cheese on top and red onions and refried beens on the side. Asking the barkeep for a pint of porter to wash it all down with (and as a primer), he settles down to get himself...stoked up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 16 Dec 02 - 08:15 PM Fartanackle Choir! Is nothin' sacred, you bunch of ....(can't think of the word....it'll come........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 16 Dec 02 - 08:29 PM ..........like Vandals.....not Visi Goths.... Shit. Forget it. If you think I look good in a basque, you should see me in my little black dress I wear as Molly for the Hood'nin' (I kid you, not) Thanks Morti, at last I have something in my size that i can wear underneath. Saves the old bum from freezin'. Talkin' of old bums, what has Gareth been up to with the K.K.K? Bein' an effnik minority he should mind his ass when out with that lot, or he might find his Hob Y Derries danglin' from an old oak tree! (and serve him right, too, Castin' haspershuns on us simple Kentish chaps) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: GUEST,JennyO Date: 16 Dec 02 - 10:49 PM Oh goodie, I haven't missed out on the roasted aurochs after all. (stuffs herself). Nice doggie , here boy. Just bring that bone over here. I could do with another tipper for all my bodhrans! But what's this they've done to the Guiness?(shivers) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Amos Date: 16 Dec 02 - 10:59 PM Holy Moly -- Songs from the Sacred Digestive Tracts, backed by Airs To Pass On Yule -- mount your capos, gentlemen -- it's in B Flatulent, take your note from Mister Spaw over there, lately the honored recipient of his own Bud Light commercial!! Farternakle, indeed!! Good thing I had my cup away from my lip or Jen would be getting a bill for a new keyboard!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rustic Rebel Date: 16 Dec 02 - 11:28 PM Fart what? "Fart suppository, yes that is what I said. You see this is one of my latest inventions. I fill the capsule with favorite scents. Then when your mate is sleeping and expelling, you slide that little baby up his ass, and ah, the body temperature diffuses a delightful odour. hell yeah, these things will sell like hotcakes. Now if I only had some with me in this joint I could show you what I mean... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 16 Dec 02 - 11:35 PM The guy in the expensive business suit tosses back his drink, feeling it warm his chilled bones, and gestures for the barkeep to hit him again. Then he hears a tiny voice to his right: "Wow! That's a really nice suit. You have great taste!" Armani looks to his right but nobody is there. He turns back to the festivities going on in the room. Someone has hiked down their trousers and is defecating in the much-abused spitoon. Must be clearing his throat in preparation... "I mean, seriously, that is one killer suit. And you fill it out pretty damn well, too, mister." Same little voice again. Sounds like it's maybe coming from behind the bar. The guy leans over and peers behind, but nobody's there either. You smell pretty good too, buddy. What do you guys think? "Oh yeah!" "Damn straight!" "I think I'm in love" Armani jumps back when he realizes the voices are issuing from the dish of beer nuts by his right elbow. And the barkeep finally arrives with the bottle to replenish his glass. "What the hell's with those beer nuts?" demands the suit. Barkeep shrugs. "They're complimentary." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: GUEST Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:01 AM Haulling himself out of the booth and pulling on the surplus asbestos silver fire suit, Chip2447/OG1 heads for the frozen kegs. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN and the rest y'all too. WE HAVE A TEENY TINY WEE SMALL PROBLEM. SOME PISSY LITTLE WANNABE TRIED TO SABOTAGE THE GUNNIESS. I THINK I CAN TAKE CARE OF HIS LITTLE GAME. WHAT WE NEED ONE GOOD FART FROM EVERYONE. ONE GOOD FART AND DUCK FROM EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE DUCK AND THE CATS, ESPECIALLY THE CATS!" PLEASE PASS THE GAS AND HIT THE FLOOR, IT'LL ALL BE OVER IN A SECOND. THANKS." Pulling the Scott mask on, and lowering the hemet, he ignites the oxy acetelyn torch. He holds the flaming tip high in the air, (better air up here, would hate to have a premature eja...explosion), he carefully approaches the hostile kegs. One quick glance around shows him that most everyone has complied, bodies are pointing their arses at him, a few bare azzed moons, must be to get the best gass mix, he thought. A few scrambling for the floor and a few more for the doors. "GAWD I hope this works." He says as he lowers the cutting torch into the dense methane. With a loud WHOOMMMMPFFFFFFF of displaced air the Tavern for one brief fraction of a second turns into a conflaguration of hell. The hole in the ceiling venting most of the heat and fire outward. Reports later indicated that the fire ball and mushroom cloud could be see fo hundreds of miles. The flashover was gone before most of the drunkards knew what hit em. He felt particularly sorry for those who had dropped their drawers, as the fire probably singed off all the hair on their asses. He emerged from the smoke with a big cheesy grin on his face. "TOLD YA IT WOULD WORK... BEER's flowing again...." Now where was that monkey, he thought he could teach the lil bugger to play ocarina.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: GUEST,chip2447 Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:05 AM Now where did I leave that plate of cookies???? Chip2447 |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:12 AM "Fuck this noise!" says the suit and clambers up and sprints out the door to the relative safety of the blizzard outside. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: mg Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:44 AM Cindy Lou Who..haven't thought of her in years. Must be all grown up now. Is there a chance that she'll stop by? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:50 AM "Philistines!" The sound drifts back into the Tavern on the wind, just before the north door bangs shut again. "That's it!" shouts Dead Horse, pounding the table. "Thank gawd he's gone," mumbles the barkeep. "If he'd-a roped me into one more bad joke, I'd-a gnawed my own foot off to get outta here." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:58 AM The rafter on which the ice demon was perched happened to be directly in the path of the outgoing rush of fire as it escaped through the hole in the roof. The intense heat melted the ice demon and he dripped down off of the rafter onto the table below where he was immediately absorbed by a singed bearmat. ("Bearmat" being Hullspeak for what the rest of us know as a "beermat" or "coaster". "Singed" is Hullspeak for "signed", but in this case the bearmat was, in fact, singed. It may well have been signed too, but that's another story.) As soon as the entire essence of the ice demon had been absorbed into the bearmat, the demon regained full consciousness and his mutation into the dreaded BEARMAT DEMON was complete! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Chip2447 Date: 17 Dec 02 - 01:57 AM Anyone care for some bearmat demon beer nuts, or is that bare demon nuts, or maybe demon bear beer huts? Chipw447( still looking fo the bear necessities} |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 17 Dec 02 - 08:43 AM Hey Look! There's a bunch of roasted beernuts over there on the singed bearmat! Just the thing to top off the king's cake I just finished frosting. But they do need to be crushed first... *grabs 15 pound sledge used as a bodhran deterrent and hefts it over his head* Stand back! There may be shrapnel! *He starts the downswing...maul heading straight for the singed bearmat and the roasted nuts.* |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Dec 02 - 10:25 AM While exposing my rear end (beneath fetching basque) in order to comply with certain requests, my nuts have been signed. Do hope it wasn't with an indelible felt tip! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 17 Dec 02 - 10:32 AM MUDCAT BABY DUE!Max and his lady... Drinks are on Bert! Hell - I'll even pay for some! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Tinker Date: 17 Dec 02 - 10:33 AM "See that man all dressed in black Nuts so hot he keeps'em in a sack.. Singing Nuts...Hot Nuts Anyone here wanna try my nuts...." Roots blues belted out by the lady in the lowcut gown as approaches the bar... NOw why did that song come out |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dave Bryant Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:06 PM Hearing the whistle of the descending maul the BEARMAT DEMON metamophoses from his flat larval state to it's fully developed state, and with lightning reflexes leaps out of the way of MMario's hammer, scattering nuts in all directions. This was somewhat of a pity because the one thing that a BEARMAT DEMON loves is nuts - the larger the better. Suddenly, right in front of his gaze, the demon is aware of two exceedingly large nuts dangling down from a lace basque. Besides several signatures in permanent felt-tip marker each dispays a branded-on message "Property of Kate - tamper with at your peril !". Such a temptation could not be ignored and opening it's mouth, it clamped it's fearsome teeth around the dangling cluster. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Dec 02 - 12:43 PM Kerrrboooooooooooooooooooooom! (loud cries of "Arrgh, me nuts" and "Gerritoff") The figure of Dead Horse runs wildly round the room, exhibiting surprising speed and agility for one of his advanced years. "That's positively the last time I wear inflateable nuts to a Mudcat event" His other half, the delectable KAY, mutters something about dried kernels as she swiftly dons her dancing shoes, in readiness for the celebrations. "Now where's that damn banjo player" she calls, "If'n ye can't find a banjo, stick a few strings accross a bodhran, a git pluckin'" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rapparee Date: 17 Dec 02 - 01:51 PM And Mario, after laying down the sledge, was reciting as he prepared the trout, "...though I've battered you and fried you, by the living roe that made you, you're a better taste than auroch, almondine...." "I say, do you like Kipling?" asked the quiet man to Liz. She giggled and replied, "I don't know, I've never kipled." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 17 Dec 02 - 04:41 PM well - the perils of the daemon bearmat (Scourge of Hul9l) will not be with us long - I have it on good authority it will vanish from the ken AND Barbie of He points at a large digital clock behind the bar, right below the slightly ratty stuffed moosehead from which a potato stuffed thong depends. The sign reads: " 8 hours - 24 minutes 32 seconds until Singed Bearmat Auction closes" Just below that is another sign - "Place your bets on how long until the entire Tavern needs to be Baby-proofed!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Amos Date: 17 Dec 02 - 05:12 PM Can't we just keep it in the closet until it is thirteen? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: SINSULL Date: 17 Dec 02 - 05:26 PM DH - that's what happens when you skewer one of god's little creatures. Say you're sorry for killing the baby bod' and the demon will fall off. So will your nuts but ... Hey MMario. Come collect some prairie oysters for the pot! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 17 Dec 02 - 05:26 PM You really want it coming out of the closet at 13? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Dec 02 - 05:48 PM So... that's what Kipling does to you... now I know I shan't be doing it again.... it's going to take ages for that to grow back.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Dec 02 - 07:39 PM Doesn't having your nuts explode make you baby proof? And I hate to have to fess up, but I got a virus. It seems I got a dose of the dreaded Viagra Bug, which turns all your floppies into hardware. Nothin' ta do with the critter on me nuts, or the Morti snogs, etc. Musta gorrit off'n an e-mail, honest. When is some bastard gonna fix the hole in the roof? I washed me hair three times already, thinkin' it was dandruff, when all the time it was snow. As for baby bods, the divil tak 'em. Aint no good for nothin' but imitation tanbourines, you know, them things ye get in yer stockin' at Xmas. (or is that Clementines?) Oh, me darlin' Oh me darlin' Oh me darlin' Clementine Thou art pissed and under the weather, End up drinkin' turpentine. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Dec 02 - 07:56 PM It's enough to drive a woman to drink.... where's the rest of that feckin' Baileys.....? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: SINSULL Date: 17 Dec 02 - 08:04 PM MMario...King's Cake??? Isn't that the one with the BABY in it???? Like the BABY Max is having????? Named Taj Lightening???? (No joke, folks).Or maybe it's Lightnin'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 17 Dec 02 - 09:27 PM nope - King's cake has a BEAN in it; which represents the Christ Child (or the Sun King in an older tradition I'm told ) Sinsull - I take it your money is on a boy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 17 Dec 02 - 10:01 PM Herewith a LARGE bottle of Baileys to refill the cats' saucer ...and Liz's oversized tankard... |