BS: Tips for living well

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,Oracle
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 01:34 PM

Don't believe everything you're told just because everyone around you believes it. Especially if everyone around you believes it!

Think for yourself. Trust yourself. Experience the fullness of life with courage and joy! Make your own observations, draw your own conclusions, make your own decisions and remember .... you're never too old to

Educate yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Ron Davies
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 10:58 AM

Never saw this thread before. It's really great. Sorry if I have repeats of others' tips.



Try to walk as much as possible, but not rushing,--stopping to "smell the roses" ( and any other flower), also noting how gardens are growing, identifying birds and watching them---(I was once late to work because I spent over 10 minutes watching flickers eat ants on the ground--it looked so funny.) Also butterflies, stop for sunsets on the way home etc. It's even better if you can arrange to not drive as part of your commuting (I'm lucky enough to not drive to work at all.) I go by houses where I've heard, on different days, somebody practicing trombone (opening of Tschaikovsky's 4th Symphony), somebody playing banjo ( I think it was Cumberland Gap), and somebody practicing bagpipe in the park . (Admittedly, you have to allow time for this).

Sing as much as possible--in the shower, around the house, in the stairwell at work-- never take the elevator.   In our building, I've even had some compliments in the stairwell--the songs that work the best seem to be Farewell to Tarwaithe and Rose of Allendale. But I just sing there because the acoustics are great. Also walking to work. You don't have to sing loud. People will see your lips moving and usually say good morning (rather than assume you are bonkers). You should obviously stop your song and return the greeting. Singing while walking also helps to memorize or reinforce songs. I sing according to the weather. When it's good I sing country and western; when it's misty and rainy I sing Irish, and when it's real blustery I sing sea songs. Unless there's a particular song I'm trying to learn--then I sing that.


Look for humor everywhere---you'll find it.


Cats.


Be willing to talk to anybody anywhere (obviously, use your judgment).


Remember if somebody attacks you on Mudcat, especially with vulgar language. they're just making fools of themelves. Don't respond in kind--better not to respond at all but not easy.

Be willing to experience many different kinds of music--don't be narrow. I like (passionately) classical, country and western, folk, bluegrass, early rock--practically anything but rap (except Cicada Serenade, which is a spoof of rap) and techno-pop, which I find soulless.


Never stop learning. You can learn from anybody you talk to as well as from books (be skeptical of anything you hear on television). To learn from books, I find non-fiction the best, and history and biography fascinating. Read more than one book on a topic to get different perspectives. Take notes if it helps. I still underline in pencil in my books and write in the margins and at the top.

Make music with others (acoustic music). Don't think of singing as a solo activity. The vast majority of songs I sing have great choruses, since I love to sing with people, especially making up harmonies in the chorus while somebody else carries the melody. Singing in the middle of a group, with all sorts of great harmonies coming out, is an incredible high. Go to concerts where you can do this ( and to Sidmouth, the Getaway etc.)

Have people over to your house and have them bring instruments, but particularly singers who can do songs people can participate in without needing to see music (e.g. no RUS). In any musical group, try to contribute, not dominate it ( unless you're asked to lead the group--a very ticklish situation).


Learn an instrument, especially one that can contribute to the musical texture, not dominate it, and don't jump in until you have some idea of how the song might go.


Get to know your neighbors, both by talking to them on the street and in other ways. I've met quite a few by joining in a group to fight developers, and by doing door to door caroling (in 4 part harmony for 13 years so far).


Tell stories and listen to stories, especially humorous ones.


Know what to take seriously and what not to.




I hope this didn't repeat others' postings too much.
.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 10:23 AM

In the US, a food bank is something run by a nonprofit (sometimes a church) to make free food available to people who qualify. They are supplied by donated food and bulk-purchased inventory, and sometimes are also the distribution point for government-sureplus food commodities like processed cheesoid.

Some of these food banks work in partnership with other community programs. A good one I worked with offers a series of weekly cooking and lifeskills classes, because a lot of the food bank clients here are teen moms who would not know what to do with anything except microwave pizza. The theory is, not only do many clients not know how to use food bank products well, they probably also are not stretching their gov't-issue food stamps cost-effectively either, so the program teaches them how to stretch their resources better.

~S~

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,mm
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 08:09 AM

What is a food bank? I don't think we have them in UK, but they sound a good idea. Everytime I supermarket shop I think I could easily put in another couple of items for someone who has less.
Our big shop chains could add a collection box beyond the checkout. It can't be that hard to do?

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Midchuck
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 07:46 AM

Get some aerobic excercise on a daily basis. Outdoors if possible, but indoors is better than nothing.

Don't smoke. At least, don't smoke tobacco. If someone else asks if you mind if they smoke near you, say, "Sure, if you don't mind if I pick my nose and flick it at you."

Own musical instruments with an aggregate value greater than the present value of your car or truck.

Own musical instruments with an aggregate value more than 100 times the present value of all the clothes you own.

Have two alcoholic drinks a day if male, one if female. No more, no less. Unless your family has a history of alcholism. Then forget the whole thing.

Keep in mind that money is very important up to the amount you need for food, shelter, health care, and whatever luxuries are really important to you (i.e, in my case, a working car, one or two good guitars, and a working computer with an internet connection); but above that amount, it's a meaningless abstraction. Be aware of the difference.

Have a cat or two or three around, and try to serve them in the manner they rightfully expect.

Disagreement with Fred at the very first post in this thread: He refers to sex "when it goes especially well." As far as I'm concerned, "the worst I ever had was absolutely magnificent," as someone I heard quoted somewhere said. I realize this is not so for women, but, on the other hand, they have at least the potential for multiple orgasms. No way of knowing who's better off.

If you're in a service profession, keep in mind that sometimes you're going to screw up completely, and the people involved are going to be very grateful to you for trying to help them; and other times you're going to do a really good job, and the people involved are going to bitch and moan anyway, because they had totally unreasonable expectations. Be glad the first kind exist and as to the second, rely on the great old 8-word phrase, the last six words of which are "...if they can't take a joke."

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Dewey
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 01:25 AM

I always go, at least once a week, to one of several pre-mapped-out places, where I can be totally alone, for the entire day, without interuptions by any other person. (i.e. isolated)

I have mapped my favorite scenic spots (I have about a dozen)and I now have a complete "secret" list of favorites. At least two of them, involve walking through a trail, (into a small and scarce used lake(s)

In one particular spot, I even have a small 12 foot row boat I can use which the realative (on my dads side of the family) have left there for anyone's personal use (family or friends) everyone respects the boat and returns it to the shore as found, there boat has been in this particular location for about 10 years.

the only person I tell (about these places I go) is my Mom and Dad (when I leave) so that they might have a general sense of where I am should something arise or happen.

The perfectly place from me has been the woods of central minnesota, I take along a lunch, fishing pole (in summer of coarse) one good book that is uplifting on a spritual subject, usually self-improvement, and a note pad to to jot down goals or methods of self improvment that I want to work on for the coming week.

I find by slowing down and planning out my life that I feel better relaxed and more spiritual thoughout the week. Some people take only an hour off. I prefer the entire day, and I also perfer to be by myself, I get enough noise and unsettled activities during the week, a person needs not only rest their bodies but there minds as well.

I also like going on the bike trails in Minnesota (If I have an extra day I usually do this) A little extra exercise in the fresh air lowers my blood pressure and blood sugar ( I am diabetic) plus endorphines are released during exercise, which also bring a sense of calm and quiessence. In winter I like Ice fishing, listening to shortwave readio broadcasts, a cup of tea and some fresh fried fish, or a cross country ski outing in the woods (weather permitting).

I believe one of the psalms says, "go unto a place that is quiet" I think this the most excellent and solid advice available to achieve a steady supply of peace, energy, and happiness in your own self-being.

Give it a try sometime!

Dewey

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 05:57 PM

Don't learn the accordion. Don't learn the trumpet. Don't learn the guitar, the banjo, the piano, the pipes, the uke, the bodhran. See how awful your life is then. Then go learn to play something, even if it's only the stereo.

Live to help others -- be a REGULAR donor to the local food bank, homeless shelter, and blood drive (notice that this is not an "or" statement). Volunteer at the hospital, the veterans' home, the cemetery, the abused spouses' shelter, the jail.

Smile at children, the younger the better. Smile at old folks, too. In fact, smile at everybody.

Don't get involved in flame wars, ignore trolls, and contribute regularily to MOAB (or at least read it).

Do something creative -- something not directl related to music.

Learn to be a good cook.

Surprise others by not micromanaging them.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 05:46 PM

Renew dormant conversations with friends you meant to keep close.

Tell someone who ALWAYS asks "But how are YOU doing" how you are actually doing.

Let the hard crusty bits go.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 03:50 PM

Learn to play the accordion.

Teach your kids (or somebody else's kids) how to play the accordion.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Mudlark
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 03:30 PM

Refreshing is a good word for the reopening of this thread...it's a lift, just reading thru it again. Singing always helps me, it's not just emotional, but physically energizing as well. Gritting my teeth and doing even just one little job I've been putting off helps, esp. if it results in less clutter and more organization, making me feel a little less overwhelmed. Change of pace is good. I love living in the country and am rarely bored, but once in a while it's fun to go to town. I've very little money, but enjoy window-shopping, sort of looking at the incredible array of...things...available as a sort of moveable museum display. Messing with my dogs, refilling the bird feeders (and watching how fast the word go out to the avian world), weeding.

I can often write myself out of a funk, not by trying to distract myself from it, but writing exhaustively about everything that might be troubling me. Usually, the more I write the more petty my complaints become, and pretty soon I find myself coming to the conclusion that everything is really pretty OK (which is much different than having someone, even my own stern "don't be a whiner" inner voice tell me so). I find that acknowledgement is a great pick-me-upper.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,GROK
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:56 PM

Notice when kids wear new clothes, have a new hair style/colour or have glasses for the first time. Tell them they look good/cool/wow/awesome/beautiful. You will make their day and they'll never forget you for it.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:50 PM

Appreciate what you have. I went through the work until you drop syndrome. The more money I made, the more I needed. Life was stress, stress, stress. I got little joy from the money and was too busy to care. The merry-go-round suddenly stopped spinning and I was thrown on my butt.

THEN I started making a real life for myself. I do still plan for the future but I live for today. It is all I have for sure. If I want something I will earn the money to buy it but I don't care about more than a warm bed, a comfortable home, a decent meal, and friends.

My things use to define me. Now I take great pleasure in finding happy homes for some of them. Life is so simple.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,Larry K
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 01:34 PM

Make a big deal out of a really small event.   Thats what life is really about anyway.

The hardest tip for living well- learn than money and possessions aren't everything.    That is very hard to overcome.    I was fortunate to have a great lesson.   My wifes Aunt and Uncle were very wealthy (multi millionaires)   We went to vist them at their homes in Pales Vertes Estates and at the country club in Palm Springs.   (Tom Bosley from Happy Days is their neighbor)   The more I got to stay there, the less I liked it.   The people were nice to me but it was the most boring experience of my life.    People there only dine at the country club.   They do not go out in public because they don't want to deal with the common masses.    They have a very dull meal and only talk about stocks, money, how much money someone has, and how much money other people don't have.   They had little interest in any other subjects and as far as I could tell, very little fun in their lives.    The only highlight for me was getting picked up in a Rolls Royce- way cool car to drive in.

Most people want to be rich.   After living with the rich, I have no desire to be there.    I would much rather be at a cabin at a folk festival than at the country club in palm springs.   Pick your priorities- 20 years ago my girlfriend was the producer for Saturday Night Live. She had free tickets for the final show of the year and invitations to the cast party following.   I chose to go to a folk festival instead to see Art Thieme.   

Sometimes it is hard to see that you are living well.   The next time someone tells you they paid $100 a ticket for a loud rock and roll show in a giant stadium and were stuck in an hour traffic jam getting out, remember how much more fun the coffeehouse or folk festvial was.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:51 PM

I'm delighted to see that this lovely thread has been reopened! I'll think of more to post tomorrow. Right now I am about to climb into my lovely comfortable bed with lots of pillows, after a good night out at a great session. That's living well!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:28 PM

Achieving something:- like writing a new Folk song that everyone likes and seeing them pitch in and enjoy it.
Growing a new hybrid flower(or weed)
Creating a new food dish.
Making a new friend.
Taking time to eat good food.
Going to Folk evenings and Festivals.
Getting much needed exercise.
There are many other things but I have only really got round to doing them since taking early retirement...Loving every minute and wondering how I ever found time to work.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:50 AM

Thanks so much for re-opening this thread!

My personal tips include;

Do whatever you need to do regularly to remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive and if you are in good health, how lucky that is as well.

If you're not living on the streets, starving, or without friends, you are luckier still.

I have a friend who writes little notes to himself and sticks them in his wallet, and then when he periodically cleans it out he finds and reads things like-"You don't have a headache" or "someone loves you". Little reminders of those times when we forget that each moment is precious if we let it be.

..xx..e

(PS-I've tried this one-Give away half of what you think you need, and you'll still have far more than what you really need.)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Jeanie
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 03:47 AM

What a great thread ! I somehow missed it first time round - thanks for reviving it.

I read somewhere once the "Chinese recipe for happiness", that has always stood me in good stead when feeling down or alone or when life's situations start to get overwhelming (and I've had quite a share of the latter this past year), which is:

Someone to love + something to do + something to look forward to = happiness

There is *always* someone to love - (loads of people, in fact, the world is full of them), and somehow, automatically, the "something to do" and "something to look forward to" parts of the equation then pop up on the horizon, too.

Learning a new skill or reviving an old one also works wonders for me. I got myself an 'improvising blues piano' workbook this year, and having a whale of a time. Likewise, discovering or rediscovering authors. For work, I had to read a short story by Dorothy Parker - I don't know why I'd never read her before - and now I'm hooked. She cheers me up no end, especially reading her out loud.

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,joe clone
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 11:52 PM

re-opened by request

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,DancingMom
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 09:52 PM

The gratitude thing. Think of one person or thing that you are thankful for each day.
Do something for someone else each day, without thought of thanks or recognition.
Do something indulgent for yourself each day, like listening to music or taking a nice walk or hot shower. Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Art Thieme
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 08:58 PM

Go to a concert by someone you really like,

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Cornflake
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 09:42 PM

Odd how it's reassuring to hear someone say he or she is depressed, since we all get that way at times and usually feel totally alone when we do.

Best therapy for me: head for the middle of nowhere. I live in a Westerm state where it's not hard. The things that were weighing so heavily on me become trivial. I'm reminded of what wonderful world it is after all.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: GUEST,Mary
Date: 15 Feb 03 - 09:13 PM

JENELEN...I loved everything you wrote !!
I like hanging around with friends
who think like you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Feb 03 - 08:35 PM

Toast.

Hot, buttery toast.

And chocolate.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Deda
Date: 14 Feb 03 - 04:27 PM

Fred - an excellent thread, everybody needs one like this at one time or another.

Three rules I've picked up in the last decade or so:

- Never look at the big picture. There is no such thing.
- (This one helps with the previous one.) Important decisions are discovered, not made. They reveal themselves. You don't have go hammering at them.
- Comparisons are odious. Never compare yourself to anyone else, in any arena. You aren't anyone else. Your highest achievement has nothing to do with anyone else's. Comparisons lead to winner/loser thinking.

I also never run out of chocolate chip cookies if I can possibly help it.

Thank you many times over for this thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Art Thieme
Date: 14 Feb 03 - 01:17 PM

Make the most of all that comes, and the least of all that goes. Not always easy---but practice makes perfect. Life, being a series of losses----is a serious instructor.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Beccy
Date: 13 Feb 03 - 04:50 PM

Fred- Lemme know how you like it!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Sam L
Date: 13 Feb 03 - 12:06 PM

Oh all right, there is, it's very cool, and if you are ever in Louisville, you should go. And to Pita Delights across the street. And I was allowed to have kids, although I'm still a bit shocked by that.

But the rest is left open to literal and other interpretations.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Kim C
Date: 13 Feb 03 - 09:55 AM

Oh come on now Fred. There's all kinds of cool restaurants that serve fancy juice drinks to kids with paper umbrellas in em. I used to get em when I was a wee lassie.

Tahini. Rhymes with wahine. Reminds me of Let's Talk Dirty in Hawaiian. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Sam L
Date: 13 Feb 03 - 09:47 AM

Yes, but allow me to have something to look forward to, and those odd moments of memory that crop up uninvited, and color everything fresh.

Came back to print Beccy's recipe, and thought of something fun. Figure out a way to say something nobody says, well enough that someone will seem to know what you mean. Then smile at each other, if possible.

I'm sure everyone got that my tahini post was just a metaphor for sex, right? The balancing, placing the last impossible piece on a tower of blocks before it comes crashing down? Can only be achieved, by groping, can't be formulated? ...come on, "tahini" even sounds a little naughty... right? And surely nobody really thinks a guy like me is allowed to have kids, or that there's a place here called Lynne's Paradise Cafe that serves "pink Panthers"? Imagine.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: harpgirl
Date: 12 Feb 03 - 04:57 PM

..a psychological tip for living well....

Focus and maintain your attention on and in the present. Thinking about the future contributes greatly to anxiety. Thinking about the past contributes to depression, regrets, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Feb 03 - 01:51 PM

I have never been able to grow cilantro. Waaaah. However I am pleased to say that most of our groceries now have fresh herbs, even if they are a little expensive.

I will have to try that tahini thing. I happen to have some tahini left over from when I made some Mediterranean chicken thing. And I always have garlic in the pantry!

Here's another tip for living well - if one person pisses you off, just think about someone else who has recently been nice to you. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: vindelis
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 06:31 PM

Remember two things A) Life denies perfection and B) Worrying is a non productive exercise. The first is great when people are getting at you, the second is harder to see if you are really feeling down, but is true.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Sam L
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 05:45 PM

Ha! Oh, and what I said about people probably doing it more and better than I--that goes for other things too.

Beccy you reminded me of my son's little cilantro crop. My brother was going on and on about my daughter's big ol' squash, while my poor little boy kept pacing about, waving his arms, saying What about my cilantro? Can't you see my cilantro?! He was only four, and my brother wouldn't know cilantro if he smoked it in a bong.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Beccy
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 05:19 PM

Oh and tahini? LOVE IT!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Beccy
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 05:18 PM

Okay, Fred. Now you've made me hungry. You beast. But you've also done something much more dangerous. My family and friends call me "The Food Evangelist" due to my proclivity for discussing, well, FOOD!

I just finished whipping up a batch of Lindamood Caviar (my surname and something that the recipe is really not!)
2 cans drained rinsed black eyed peas
1 can drained corn
1 jar pimentos, chopped
1 large red bell pepper, chopped
1 red or sweet onion, chopped
8 oz. italian dressing
3 large fresh jalapenos, seeded and minced
1 can diced tomatoes and chilis
handful of fresh cilantro and parsley, chopped
1 fresh lime- squeezed until it cries for mercy.

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, stir gently, cover and refrigerate overnight. Unbutton pants, lean back and serve with tortilla chips or corn chips (and beer if you have it!)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Sam L
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 05:05 PM

Well--hi KimC! cool--um, you start with about a cup of dark sticky sesame tahini, the gluey unadulterated stuff, about a dime-sized dab of minced or pressed garlic, a half cup death-grip squeezed lemon juice, and add water just to get a dressing consistency. It tends to thicken up again more than one expects, and the lemon seems to bleach it. It's good on salads, falafel pitas, (don't over-cook falafel, even if like me you like other things a little blackened) and really, it is the essence of good fresh hommos. Took me a while to learn that the chick pea and fava bean paste is merely an extender you throw into hummos, to soak up the counter-balanced flavors. Too much of it is doughy and like store-bought ready-made stuff. I kept trying to beat a local restaurant, and finally did. The rest is a very careful balancing act between those and other ingredients you might put in. Cant be formulated, only achieved, by groping somewhat blind.
One problem is the garlic fools you. One disaster taught me that I keep thinking it needs just a little more. I aquire an immunity if I taste it too often. And later when I opened the bowl the air went wavey like when you pump gas or have a flash-back with old tv special effects. A little too much.

(Also, don't get lexographically confused and use le mot just, instead of lemon juice. "The right word" has no taste at all, I found out.)

So you must learn to aim the particular rifle, your taste, according to it's erroneous tendencies. I'm a little shy to post this, it's pretty basic, and many people probably cook more and better than I, but it's one thing I can do, that I like. Maybe someone else will.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 04:22 PM

Fred, what do you do? Just mix lemon juice in with the tahini? Or drizzle it on top?

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Sam L
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 02:33 PM

Hey Roy, thanks again for linking me here. Took me awhile to figure out I had to explain to my computer to let me be a member, it kept blocking it.
Beccy, if you like anything with lemon in it, do you like sesame tahini? There's something about the dark, obscure sesame and garlic tastes mixed with the blatant freshness of lemon, and cucumber. It's like balancing that last impossible piece on top of a a tower of wood blocks--then eating it. Well, the metaphor went tumbling down, but anyway it tastes good.

Chocolate and oranges. Good oranges.

Apples and walnuts. Guess I'm hungry, these tips for eating well.

(pause while I pretend to be shy, and refrain from a juvenile remark.)

Went on a field trip this morning with both my kids to a museum where I used to work, before I promoted myself to ex-employee, and I must say it is nice not to have some jobs I used to have. Maybe it's perverse to say so, but there is nothing like the feeling of quitting a job. Looking back I think I must've taken some jobs just to look forward to quitting them. Sometimes it's like planning a wedding--you want it to go just right, smooth, settled, no bad energy when you walk out the door. Here's to things that are just not your problem anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 01:56 PM

I find that letting rip with a good loud yodel really helps!

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Beccy
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 01:27 PM

Anything with lemon in it makes me happy!

...or blueberries, or raspberries, or blackberries, or strawberries... Mmmmmmmmmmmm... It'll take you right out of the winter blahs.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Tinker
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 01:21 PM

Find a book you've always meant to read and actually read it. (In my case it's probably alredy on the shelves) Dance. A two-step, a waltz or even a jitterbug, let yourself move with the music and let your entire body sing.... Yeah, that sex stuff fits here too.

Buy a few sheets of beautiful paper at the art store and write a letter to someone who doesn't expect it. Really share a couple of everyday moments and give them a glimpse of you. It helps me actually remember how good those moments were too.

Pamper yourself a little. For one evening treat your body like a temple cleanse and annoint and care for it. Bubble baths, facials, manicures, oh yeah, and if you can involve a loved one and care for each other --even better.

Haved a loved one teach you something they love... My teenaged boys love helping me through video games.... I'm a class one klutz at it, but I start to understand the addictiveness, and we all get some great giggles out of the process.

Breathe

Oh, and I bypass the tupperware and put it in ziplock bags. When the food gets bad the container and all are cleanly dumped. No fuss no muss, no allergic reactions to the mess.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 12:18 PM

Tell somebody you love them.

I was on the phone with my best friend yesterday, and her little 3-year-old daughter got on the phone with me. She was chattering about watching a Mr. Bean video, and then she said, I love you.

Children are sweet that way. At what point do we, as adults, decide it isn't okay to say I love you to someone with whom we don't share romance or family?

I have a couple of friends who aren't shy in that regard. And since my father died, and since September 11, I have become less shy about it myself.

It's easy for us to say to ourselves, well, so-and-so knows that I love them. And they probably do. But it's nice to be told once in awhile anyway.

On a more earthy note - taking care of your body is always good, and it's never too late to do at least a little something. Make sure you eat good food. Healthy, whole food is tasty. And move around some. I've been doing yoga pretty regularly the last few months and golly, I feel fantastic.

Laugh at something. Don't be afraid to be silly. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: YOR
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 12:15 PM

The housekeeping idea is a good one, but by all means do not watch or read Martha Stewart. No one can live up to that standard.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Allan C.
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 11:59 AM

Give something nice to somebody for no particular reason. Repeat often; but not necessarily to the same person.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: mg
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 02:37 AM

set up your housekeeping so that you don't have to do to much of it and hire it done if you have money but no time. Get rid of clutter. Someone can use it right now. Have no wall to wall carpet. It is a trap for mold and filth. Don't collect things. Don't shop for exclusive items that are irreplaceable. Get some pretty things from the store and if they get broken replace them. Have furniture that rolls or folds up and can be moved easily. Don't have dust collectors in terms of figurines, heavy drapes etc. Don't have anything you can't wash. Then you'll have time for fun stuff..which is necessary stuff. And no guilt that comes from thinking you should be waxing the refrigerator or something. Oh, refrigerator tip..hide the vegetable drawers if you are prone to having things rot there. Just put in some tupperware for your veggies and if things go bad you can just throw it in the dishwasher..mg

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 01:06 AM

Here's a real simple one, Fred:

** Find something you can do. Do it. Repeat until happy.

And here's another:

** Find something you'd like to communicate, and communicate it.

And here's another, inspired in part by that beautiful list of JE's up there:

** Do something that has an effect   that another can experience easily. Find something that you can acknowledge in another, and acknowledge it.

** Admire something. Repeat until cheerful.

And in between give yerself a hug for starting a neat thread.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Feb 03 - 12:25 AM

Another thing we both enjoy doing is go for a drive. We try to go on different routes each time, look for special scenery, architecture, etc., take photographs and just enjoy the time together.

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Frankham
Date: 10 Feb 03 - 08:51 PM

If you have a bout of depression, one best remedy is to do physical excercise. Find something you like..swimming, hiking, biking, weight training (careful here...you overdo and get hurt), fast walking, skip rope....and stick to a schedule to do it regularly. Also the sex part as suggested is good!!!!

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: Kim C
Date: 10 Feb 03 - 03:51 PM

I do childish things all the time! I like to buy boxes of cereal with toys in them. I do eat the cereal, of course, but the first thing I do is dig around in the box for the prize.

Agent Cooper on Twin Peaks used to say, once a day, every day, give yourself a present. I try to live by that philosophy, even if the present is nothing more than singing at the top of my lungs to a favorite song in the car.

Like many of you, I also enjoy making things. Last year I started teaching myself Chinese calligraphy, and I've really had a lot of fun with that.

I've found that tattoos are also strangely therapeutic. They do hurt, sure, but when you're done, you have something pretty to show for it. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Tips for living well
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Feb 03 - 03:31 PM

Great thread, great suggestions! Thanks, Fred!

Jeri, I haven't had my beads out for over a year. You've inspired me! I've been thinking it was about time I went back to them, after we went to a great rock shop this weekend past. I know what you mean. I get into a meditative state when I start working with the beads and colours, etc. Just as you and Peg mention. BTW, have any of oyu ever tried Precious Metal Clay? I haven't, yet, but I mean to; real silver clay which, in a pinch, you can fire with a heat gun AND shape it into anything you want. All of the gallery pictures are made with it!

I don't have a lot to add to what has already been said, except to mention a few other specifics such as water colours. Thanks to JenEllen, I tried them out this past year and had a blast. Still working with them and it is GREAT relaxation. Crayons and colouring books are fun, too.

Also, for those who live away from others, make a time to meet on PalTalk or Mudchat, in a private room, and read poetry, stories, etc. to one another, or just visit.

An attitude of gratitiude sounds trite, but it works! I give thanks for all that we have, all that we give, and all that we receive, just before I go to bed and when I awake in the morning.

Smile at complete strangers, esp. older folks. It is just brill to see their faces light up as they realise you mean it for them and they return the favour. (Of course, you have to be careful doing this in some areas of some places!)

Do genealogy research for others, as well. It's a blast to hear a bit about their families and to share what resources you have.

Give out "coupons" to friends and family, good for whatever tasks, etc. that you are available for, i.e. "one night's free babysitting," "one special supper prepared," etc.

Surprise someone by doing something for them when they least expect it, esp. if it is something they've not asked for but that you know they will enjoy.

Join the folks at book crossing and track the journey your books take when you give them away.

Take time out, take time out, take time out. On the road from birth to death nothing, short of a medical emergency, is so urgent that you cannot take a moment out to breath deeply, refocus, balance, listen, see, feel the Universe all around you.

Don't beat yourself up if you can't bring yourself to do some of these things.**bg** Do what you can and try to increase it as you are ready.:-)