BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 05:03 PM

Rick, I tried to translate it on this other language site, and got some rather anomalous results. I then passed it on to our code-breaking analysis team, which includes myself, a dachshund, and a green budgerigar. We think it means as follows:

So, Rick Fielding, I do not know who you are, but I see that you
have humourous enjoyment at the expense of your betters. We French spit
on your pathetic attempts at humour. We laugh disdainfully, not
with you, but at you. You are an obscure person of no importance.
Your music is unremarkable, and your face resembles an old
hamburger which has been lying in the sun too long. We hope that you will soon be attacked by a local troop of motor bike gang members and
tossed into the gutter where you belong!

A fan of Avrl

Watch out for musketeers with pencil-thin mustaches when you walk home late at night, Rick!

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 01:17 PM

Holy cow Yvette! Are you that RAELIAN Yvette? You know, the one that sort of looks like Bridget Bardot with too many facelifts.

My sincerest apologies for making a bit of fun of Avril. You are right. I am lower than nothing, and should get a life. Well actually that's not exactly what you said but I can't find a way of copying Babel Fish's translations and bringing them back here. I guess they set it up that way for some reason. Plus...I've forgotten what you said.

So I'll just criticize MYSELF on your behalf for a bit.

I'm a son of a Yak's cud.
You can fart in my general direction
I'm not fit to eat Avril's high heels
I constantly confuse the familiar and formal during conjugation.

That should do for now.
***********************************************

I'm gettin pissed with this weather, I want outta here!

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST,Yvette Belanger
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 01:03 PM

Ainsi, Rick Fielding, je ne sais pas qui vous êtes, mais je vois que
vous avez de l'amusement aux dépens du votre améliore. Nous
Français crachons sur vos tentatives pathétiques d'humeur. Nous
rions dédaigneusement, pas avec vous, mais à vous. Vous êtes une
personne obscure sans importance. Votre musique pue, et votre visage
ressemble à un vieil hamburger qui a été au soleil trop long. Nous
espérons que vous êtes bientôt assailli par une troupe locale de
moto et jeté en l'air dans la gouttière où vous appartenez !

Un fan d'Avrl

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST,Marion
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 01:01 PM

Yes, Jeri, that's the American Idol I mean. There already is a Canadian reality show similar to it called "Popstars", but with less mind-fucking and verbal abuse - but apparently a Canadian Idol is in the works now.

I've seen a few episodes of each, and it seems to me that (relative to each other) Popstars is more oriented towards the audience's enjoyment of the music while American Idol is more oriented towards the entertainment value in bad auditions and singers being humiliated by the judges.

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 12:42 PM

La plume de ma tante est inserte dans le derriere de Catspaw.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: The O'Meara
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 10:51 AM

Dang! It's a April fools joke!I was just about to start a movement to boycott Avril and her group, La Dixie Madamoiselles!

(Although I am Multilingual, speakin' many langages with equil dextairity, the only French frases I know so far is The (fonetic) greeting "Sheverolay Coopay, monsoor." So when you speak in French you ought to include a translation!)

O'Meara

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 01:53 PM

God, yes. So would she...

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 01:33 PM

Les, I'd have had three times the responses.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 12:57 PM

Honest to god, everytime I skim past this thread title my dyslexic mind causes me to read it as "Busty french teen Pop star mouthed!"

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 11:41 AM

I remember "The Gong Show".

I used to chuckle at that, but truthfully, even MY warped sense of humour had difficulties with people who were SO untalented, but still believed in themselves. A bit queasy-making....kinda "Jerry Springer" like.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 09:05 AM

LOL! We had a dachshund with that condition, troll!

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 08:41 AM

Rick, you'd love the show. Bunch of musicians, some good, some not. Bunch of judges. Musicians perform. Judges either praise or humiliate them in front of an audience. I saw the Nashville version of the show, and my take on it was that some of the folks they tossed were better and more original that the ones they kept. Some were horrible. I may have the wrong idea entirely - does this sound the same as "American Idol?"

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Troll
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 06:35 AM

Avril was raised by her father but he was not a bigamist. He was a trigamist.
The reason that Avril never knew her mother is because the wretched woman left town before Avril was born.
I hope that this clears up any confusion about that and the other thing.
An interesting bit of info about Avrils father -and she has inherited the condition- is that each of his legs was shorter than the other.
troll

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 06:13 AM

Ummmmm....American Idol?

Oh, never mind, I'm sure it's awesome.

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Apr 03 - 04:49 AM

Yep Marion, makes you wonder if Abe Lincoln got it right, from here it looks like, all of the people, all of the time.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Marion
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 03:25 PM

Canadian Idol is the Canadian equivalent to American Idol - they're now soliciting kids to audition, so I guess it'll be a while before it's on TV.

This, sadly, isn't an April Fool's joke.

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 02:43 PM

Don't worry, Rick -- the Devil finds timne for idle fans, my A&R man always said.

BTW, I got an email from Avril in response to all this adulation -- she sucks it up, you know. It seems since she started bringing in the surplus cash she hires a person full time to do nothing but ego-googling for her! She was very nice, thanked us all for the loyalty, and said she was going to come out with a new record within the next couple of days -- she gave me a teaser on it. It's called "Parasseux", and the lyrics look like prime material for another blockbuster hit.

Parasseux
Je n'veux qu'etre
Parasseux
N'import ou je vais, je serais
Parasseux
Jus'que'c'que j'arrive chez toi!

Et puis,
Quand je peux te toucher le main
Et mettre tes doigts dans ma bouche,
Je te promets, jamias, jamias,
Je ne serais parasseux encore jamais...."

Something like that, any way. Looks like a winner to me!


A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 02:33 PM

Oops...what's Canadian Idol?

Nah Jeri, the "Downtown" gal was a teenage singing star.....mainly in FRANCE!

Rick (who always wanted to be a teenage Idle....and succeeded)

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 02:01 PM

Whenever I hear "la vache! la vache!" I think of Monty Python.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST,Marion
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 01:54 PM

Rick, speaking of pop stars, is there any truth to the rumour that they've hired you as a judge for Canadian Idol?

Marion

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 12:44 PM

Ricky, no, I didn't get the Petula Clark medley joke. I probably would have gotten a Lulu reference. Then again, is it the Petula Clark, French Chaneuse thing?

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 11:21 AM

Maybe the fellow who committed suicide after falling out of the window was embarrassed over his own clumsiness, and couldn't live with it. How high was the window?

My cousin once dropped a water balloon out of a hotel window in Paris, France, over a very crowded, busy street. It hit the side of a bus, and showered a cyclist and various pedestrians, creating a hell of a row in the street. A short time later several French cops (a dour and nasty lot) came through the hotel, searching for the perpetrator, but she played innocent and was not apprehended. (She must've been sweating bullets, I imagine...)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 11:06 AM

GUEST! You did not! Now cut that out!

Jeri.....you're verrrry smart......hmmmmmmmm....so did you get the 'Petula Clark' reference?

Ricky

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 10:57 AM

Bugger! I believed it!

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 08:53 AM

The "late band the Chieftans (sic)" got me, as well as "70 year old Willie Nelson" (who later became "late"), "J Lewis International Airport," "...right now reporting that Avril will NOT be singing at last night's Blue Jays' home opener" and that thing about "is that a capo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me."

Gidget Bardot's "honorary cheese-eating surrender monkey" and "my generation love Adam Sandler. He is funnier than your Peter T, or Geraldo Riveira (sic)"

Authentic French Waif's "Just remember, all of you were at one time 13 year old girls..."

Amos's Cosmic Potato, Dick Greenhaus's comment.

Regarding the (serious) Leslie Cheung story, I'm also wondering how someone can die after jumping from a hotel room and later commit suicide. This is sort of a Van Gogh-ish sort of thing.

April Fool's day does not end at noon. Being April Fool's Day, it doesn't play by the rules, and may not even end after the 1st of April.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 08:52 AM

Glad you liked it.

Amos...."are you SITTING ME" (??!!)

Blackcatter. Perhaps my parents got so sick of me saying "Look! Grandma's dead!" all day long every April first (well, until I was 34 at least) that they made up this "Festivities will cease at noon (your time)" thing.

Feel free to enjoy licking yourself til NEXT April Fool's day.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: RangerSteve
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 01:03 AM

Thanks, Rick. After reading some of the war related threads, this made me feel a lot better.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Apr 03 - 12:06 AM

Merci, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 11:57 PM

LH:

The French -- when they ar ebeing informal -- use the word "vache" for many purposes -- as an expletive and an emphasizer and a cry of dismay and a substitute for really foul stuff.

To say, "Oh, la vache!" can mean "Aw, shit", or "No shit", or "Are you sitting me?" or even "That's a crock of shit", and things can be "vachement"- meaning extremely -- funny or tragic or ridiculous or infuriating.

And if it is a vache-qui-rit, a smiling cow, then it's a picnic cheese product.

But for Avril, it has always been a deeply passionate statement that really cannnot be put into other words!

"When I become fourteen,
You won't be able to tell me anything anymore.
When I am fourteen,
I'll be free of you!
When I am fourteen,
I'll drink if I want to
And I'll sleep with EVERYBODY!
And I'll put on things to wear which I decide!
O, o, o
O, o, o you betcha
O, o, o
O, o, fuckin' A man,
When I am fourteen
You can go screw yourself!

is a more colloquial translation.

Hope this helps!


A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Blackcatter
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 11:33 PM

Rick - the most disturbing thing in this entire thread is you saying than AFD ends at noon!

Firstly - who's noon?

Secondly - Isn't that unfair to late risers?

Thirdly - leaves out so many good ways to fool with people after a hard days work.

Fourthly, I'm still reeling over the "late Irish band The Chieftans"

In any notice of their demise I would hope you would at least spell "Chieftains" correctly.

____________

Thanks for the laughs

Blackcatter
(named not because I like cats, but that I lick myself clean and occasionally cough up a hairball)

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 11:07 PM

"Ton ami qui tu serre la main, " I'm still puzzling on what or who tightens Peter T's hand.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 10:14 PM

OK, the JIG'S UP! It should have been up at noon, when April Fool's fun officially ends, but thanks for playing along. I've gotten some PMs from Mudcatters suggesting that some folks actually fell for this despite the HUGE number of jokes in the first post. I'd rather not believe that...and hope that they were just being VERRRRY subtle in playing a long with it.

I've laughed my fool head off all day (but not JUST at my own jokes) and goodness knows it was nice to keep coming here and checking this, rather than Wolf Blitzer on CNN.

But....folks in da know. We MUST share our instant Frenchisizer (or Freedomizer) with anyone who hasn't been told about it yet.

Go to Babel Fish for great translations. Do some poetry and get a real laugh.....ORRRR....use it seriously...it ain't bad if you really DO want to translate those Viagra ads that reach you in Cuniform

click

But perhaps even funnier are the ones that some of us tried with our high school french....Tabernac! For example "Herman Miniscule" for PeeWee Herman!

Happy April fool's day.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 09:53 PM

Okay...ummm...

""When I would have fourteen, You would not have anything any more to
say to me When I would have fourteen I would be free of you! I will
drink when I want I will sleep with all the world And I would put the
tricks has to carry what I prefere O, O, O, O, O, O, well on, O, O, O
O, O, O the cow! When I would be fourteen years old I foudrais myself
of you...."

Marvelous! I can see why Avril is taking the World by storm. Formidable! She should just foudrais herself of the whole damn business, I say! Rien ! Soufflez-le ! Enfer sanglant ! Porcs anglais puants !

What does the part about "the cow" mean?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 08:55 PM

Elle a mise la plume de sa tante dans la vortex de son etre. Mais ca n'a rien fait pour son ame, j'en suis sur!

:>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 08:42 PM

My mother wanted me to take French but Dad said we would all be speaking Spanish by 1970...

Has April done anything with her aunt's pen. I might be able to follow that.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 08:38 PM

THose are excellent phrases, LH -- I suggest you go to Rabat and practice them there. La-bas ils sont plus sympatico, des types enormes!

:>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 07:57 PM

This is the sort of thing that really makes me wish I knew more French...

I only know a few odd scattered phrases like:

Ma soeur prend un concombre énorme logé dans son vestibule.

Si mon chien avait un visage comme vôtre, je raserait ses quartiers
arrières et lui ferait la promenade à l'envers.

Cette odeur vient-elle de vous?

So far, they have not proven very useful, but I am waiting for a good opportunity to employ at least one of them deftly, and demonstrate my sophisticated, if limited command of the most stylish of all languages...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 07:23 PM

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre.

Ton ami qui tu serre la main, Pierre T.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 07:12 PM

Chere Waife:

I sympathize. I too have always had a soft spot for Avril. She deserves international recognition, if nothing else for her courageous stand against the commercialization of G.I. Ken.

I still hear her singing in the evening sometimes:

Toi, qui n'est qu'un pomme de terre
Que pourriez-vous savoir de ce que
Je me sens dans le coeur?
Je garderai toujour la liberte
D'aller de dans, ou c'est toujours noir,
Toujours douce, et toujours secour,
Bien comme l'interieur
D'un Pomme de Terre Cosmique!
Non, non, je ne confonterai rien,
Non, je ne confronterai rien...."

with the delicate tracery of that inimitable French accordion filling in behind her -- ah, my mis-spent youth!

A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST,Authentic French Waif
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 05:04 PM

Allo Mudcatters, I too am new to 'round here, but in my first post, do want to tell you all where to get off.

Avril Lapremiere 'as been my hero since I was 12 ans old (I am 11 ans old at the moment) and it saddens my waif heart to see you make fun of her in dis way.

Just remember, all of you were at one time 13 year old girls, and just because you didn't have a hundred million francs (54.20 in American Money) and a vintage 1959 Citroen with canvas seats, is no reason to pour merde all over her. You laugh at us because we laugh at Jerry Lewis (blessed be his name), and invited 200,000 Germans for dinner, but just remember, when you REALLY need us, we're always there, or HERE actually, which is better.

Edith Fiat

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 04:22 PM

Yes Amos I too was thinking in terms of medicated shampoos.
Baissez mon cul, as they say.
[Spelling, what spelling?]
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 03:05 PM

Patates Liberte?? ROTFLMAO, PT! RIck, it was intendced more like "My Barby up your...*(&^*&". But my colloquial French has gotten rusty since I became a homemaker and parent. :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 02:07 PM

That's "Pee-Wee Herman" kat. It was the best Babel fish could do.

Have no fear Dick I think you might like her.

"Barbie in your bottom" Amos?

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 01:43 PM

Hey Dale-
CAMSCO will sell you any folk (or) folkish CD currently in print. There's just no way I can list all the possibilities, and the CAMSCO website is clearly out-of-date.

I never heard the child in question, but I sell CDs from lots of artists I don't like.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 01:34 PM

And who can forget her two films: "The Island of Jeanne Moreau", and "Patates Liberte"?

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 01:25 PM

I noticed too that Willie has just become "late" as well. Better late though than early if you're a Willie.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 01:22 PM

This is a strange bit of news from the BBC: "Hong Kong singer and actor Leslie Cheung is reported to have committed suicide after falling from a hotel room."

I wonder how he committed suicide?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/2906999.stm

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 12:44 PM

Ah, the wonderment of babelfish: I am more embarrass that Herman miniscule, and my possun aspires has your contact! such a great and meaningful translation.

While you all have been salivating over a pubescent barbie-doll, I had to call the ambulance and have them take me to the emegency room when I read the "late Irish band the Chieftains." This I cannot believe...they might have been late for dinner or a session, but they cannot be LATE, even if they are GREAT!! Sacre bleu, Ricky, say it ain't so!!!

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Amos
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 12:32 PM

Well, some people sort of idolize her as the ragamuffin heir to that wonderful mixture of French whine and apache sensitivity personified by the truly great Piaf. A flavour of this can be heard in her first record to go aluminum, "Quand J'Aurais Quatorze":

"Quand j'aurais quatorze,
Tu n'aurais plus rien me dire
Quand j'aurais quatorze
Je serais libre de toi!
Je vais boire quand je veux
Je vais dormir avec tous le monde
Et je mettrais les trucs a porter ce que je prefere
O, o, o,
O, o, o, bien sur,
O,o,o
O,o,o la vache!
Quand j'aurais quatorze ans
Je me foudrais de toi...."

According to some close friends, Avril wrote the song in a fit of pique towards her mother, although some say it was her father.

A

Subject: RE: BS: mouthy french teen Pop star busted
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Apr 03 - 11:24 AM

Rick's having an awful lot of fun with this story, but perhaps he should consider what the poor girl's going through. They just had a bit of the story on the local NPR station with some information about her background. She's had one heck of a hard life - apparently her father traveled from town to town and was a bit of a bigamist. Avril never even knew who her mother was. Lighten up pleeeeease!