Folklore: Old sayings from childhood

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Sep 03 - 10:15 PM

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

Life isn't fair (In response to "But that's not fair!")

The crow of a hen and the whistle of a woman wake the devil from his lair. (To this day, I have never learned to whistle).

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST,Cruiser
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 12:20 AM

Not being a "star" football player, my high school coach had a saying for players like me that frequently missed assignments: "Son, quit standing there with one hand up your a** and the other one in you mouth waitin' for someone to hollar switch".

Aw, the good ol' early '60's, before PC, when coaches could kick you in the rear and berate you in an attempt to make you a better player and person. BTW, sometimes I lettered in sports and sometimes I did not make it, but nothing was given to you just to assuage your hurt feeling. Two other saying when you screwed up on the field:

"Go to the house!" (meaning "hit the showers", you were through for the day).

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: kendall
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 02:47 PM

The school I wnt to was so sub standard, you could earn a letter if you knew what the letter was.

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: open mike
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 07:28 PM

if at first you don't succeed, try, try again

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: open mike
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 07:33 PM

and for time if you get up real early it is at "Zero Dark Thirty"
and a large number is eleventy seven
minnie pearl used to have a price tag haning off her hat
ws that on hee haw? what price died it say?
i jsut saw a documentary about the murder of
String Bean, a fellow who played th ebanjo on
Grand Old Opry...or hee haw? interviews with
many co-stars on that show were included..
apparently he distrusted banks so kept
money in the pocket of his overalls.

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: Gray D
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 08:30 PM

My goodness but some of you seem to have grown up under something of a tirade of vulgarity. I'm so glad that you have managed to rise above it.

"If you had another brain like the one you've got now you still wouldn't make a halfwit" - my Dad (there was a degree of truth there)

"Well I'll go to hell in a bucket!" - My dear old Nan, when surprised. I never did understand that one.

Gray D

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Sep 03 - 08:50 PM

"If it were any closer it would bite you on the nose."
"If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous."

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 12:12 AM

I heard,

We'll all go to hell in a handcart

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 12:29 AM

I like these.

My Dad liked to say "close the door. I'm not paying to heat the neighborhood!" Once when I was going out on a date in a pair of tight slacks, he says "son, those look like cheap hotel pants...no ball room." Someone who was a blowhard was "full of shit as a yuletide fowl." If you were clumsy with something he'd say "you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel." A lazy person was "useless as the tits on a boar hog." When I didn't finish dinner, it was "children in Europe are starving." When I just woke up, my eyes looked like "two bubbles in a piss pot" or "two pee holes in the snow".

My favorite expression of Mom's was, when someone famous died, "people are dyin' that never died before!"

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 01:06 AM

Hey Leej!!

I heard it as "useless as tits on a nun."

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: Little Robyn
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 04:14 AM

I recognize lots of the above, even here in NZ.
Some from our family -
If you had another brain it'd be lonely.
Don't speak with your mouth half full - fill it up!
What did your last slave die of? Overwork?
Shit a brick!
You're big enough and ugly enough...(usually to do a chore).
Just DO IT!
If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, buy a pram.
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight, red sky at morning, shepherd's warning.
But a friend recently said Red sky at morning, shepherd's hut on fire. I like that imagery.
And in my husband's family, "I want" gets nothing!
Robyn

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 10:28 PM

Live and learn

Die and forget it all.


and for the vulgarians: shit fire n'save matches.

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 10:52 PM

"children in Europe are starving."...my mother had pinned down closer, it was "eat that...think of the poor starving Armenians!"..(and I, of course, would answer.."you can send them my share")

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: LilyFestre
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 12:39 PM

My personal favorite is the 5 P's.

Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance!

Michelle   =^..^=

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: kendall
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 01:41 PM

Waste not want not

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: C-flat
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 03:05 PM

"C'mon Lad! You're all wishbone and no backbone!" Meaning more effort required.
My school rugby master used to run along the line shouting abuse at the sorry assortment of spotty, skinny, snot-nosed kids that made up the junior team;
"Hamilton! you bloody big daisy! Hit that man,hit that man!!"
"You're as much use as a rubber ladder!"
"About as useful as half a pair of scissors!"

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: open mike
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 04:20 PM

My grandma used to say "good night NURSE"
with the accent on teh nurse..
this meant "well, I'll be..."
or other exclamations

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:37 PM

Another response to "That's not fair!" : No, it's a f***ing circus!

A response to a complaint of food being too hot: Well, it wasn't cooked in the refrigerator, you know!

These are courtesy of my ex. Glad I didn't grow up in his house!

Subject: RE: BS: Old sayings from childhood
From: Neighmond
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 07:52 PM

In a pride of your peers:

Went over like a fart in church (and) Sweating like a whore in church (both from my ulcle, who had a filty mouth.)

If you can't fix it, duck it, if you can't duck it, f*** it! (A reference to a certain repair product on the market)

Man, you really shit the bed!(referring to a massive screw-up, also "My (posession that went to pot) shit the bed on me."

(he, she,) would F*** up a wet dream.

Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't istening! (hold the hand up in front of whomever is speaking.)

You weren't working (sick, doing homework, chores, etc.), you were out playing lobo! (Lobo was a ballgame indiginous to our neighborhood-by and by "playing lobo" came to mean anything where you weren't up to anything productive.)

Itching like a three-dollar whore.

go like a raped ape

Where's (Here come) Johnny (John) Law?(!) Emphesize the "John": JOHN-knee-law. )Local term for any cop or crossing guard or teacher on playground duty. Have No idea where it came from but it was in use from the time I began kindergarten to the time I was in 7th grade.)



Words to the wise-the Elders dispense knowledge:

Now, if (name) went and jumped off a bridge would you go do it too?

I don't care what (name) does! S/he don't live here!

Eat it! There's starving little babies on the south side!

I didn't fall off (or: Do I LOOK like I fell off) the turnip truck yesterday!(?)

Stop it, and I mean NOW, or maybe you WANT a spanking...

(Tell them to do the offending act), and SEE what happens!

You only do (did) THAT once! (after some dangerous, painful, or otherwise ignorant doing)

Acted like a couple of Hahnyacks, you did!

Onray (or: rotten) little Scut!

You didn't need my help getting IN jail, you don't need my help getting OUT!

Eating before bed feeds hay to the nightmare! (I once heard my grey haired daddy say: A picture of him would keep a nightmare in hay all week!)


Taken as it's worth.

Chaz

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:10 PM

When my dad saw me picking my nose, he'd say: "Are you going fishing?"
Me, innocently: "Huh? No. Why?"
Him: "I see you're digging for bait."

I probably only fell for that joke once, and after that, "Are you going fishing?" was a sufficient reprimand to get me to stop.

I also used it on my own kid. It works.

Dad also liked non-sequiturs like:

"How big would you be if you was twice as big as half?"

In the realm of reprimands and threats:

You're gettin' too big for your britches.

I'll take you down a notch.

I'll jerk a knot in your tail.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: LadyJean
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 12:14 AM

From Dad: "Each to his own taste, said the old lady as she kissed the cow".
"Were you (or You Weren't) behind the door when the brains were passed out."
"Fold up kid," said when he'd caught me up late reading, again. Meaning turn the light off and go to sleep.
"Straighten up and fly right" Dad was a jazz fan.
"Most of your troubles never happen".
From Mom: We haven't done, (seen, had, eaten) that since pussy was a cat. (Suggestive, I know!)
"Not going to ruin two families" meaning the couple deserved each other.
"You spilled that all over Israel" meaning all over the place.
"That street is the rocky road to Dublin" Meaning there were potholes. (Pittsburgh is the pothole capital of the world.)
"You make a great door but a bad window" meaning you're blocking the view.
"That dog is smarter than some whole families" She learned that one from her grandmother. (We had poodles. They are very intelligent dogs.)

Mom told the tale of a neighborhood patriarch who was told that his grandson had been heard swearing. The old gentleman asked what the boy had said. He was told, "Son of a Bitch! Hell!" "Ridiculous," the old man replied. "No grandson of mine would say a silly thing like that.

Kids I knew said "go to heaven and make a U turn." Meaning go to hell.
A friend from New York said her friends said, "Go to heaven and make a U turn seventeen times." I think I like that better.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 06:27 AM

My sister and I used to get
Whats for pudding?
"Fresh air pie"

and we used to chant ad nausiatum "I can see the onion, the IRA's onion" every time we went to Basildon!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: muppett
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 06:41 AM

How's about 'well I'll go t' foot of our stairs'

And just to change the topic slightly how many of you out there used to sup corporation pop when you were kids and who went chumping at this time of the year.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 01:58 PM

"I can see the onion, the IRA's onion"

I don't understand that one. Can you explain it for an American?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 03:37 PM

From my Grandpa (he was "borned" in the late 1800's):

"Black as coalie's arse" (coalie, the guy that delivered coal)

"White as a haint" (ghost)

"Harder than a whore's heart"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST,SeaKing
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 07:16 PM

I have always been below average height. As a child my Grandmother would console me by saying "You don't get diamonds the size of bricks"

My Mother would hide toys until I 'learned to play with them properly'. The logic still escapes me.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: tuggy mac
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 07:21 PM

fOR GOOD VISION(hES GOT EYES LIKE A SHIT HOUSE RAT!

hEARING ( eARS LIKE A BAT.

iTS NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT BUT THE SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG.
oNE I LIKE .hES GOT THE FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE.

CHEERS TUGGY MAC.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: tuggy mac
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 07:23 PM

p S. Sorry for shouting !got a sore finger.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: LilyFestre
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 07:33 PM

A few more favorites..........

.............dumb as a box of rocks.............

Not from childhood, but when I'm sick, my husband always says, "If you die on me, I'm gonna kick your ass!"   LOL

Michelle

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST,SeaKing
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 07:50 PM

...and if this thread is still running in fifteen years time my children will be posting messages remembering Dad's 'Tidy-up Fairy'...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Sep 03 - 08:57 PM

"Cold as a witch's tit". Took me years ti figure out what a tit was.

Re height: "You're tall enough if your feet touch the floor."

"you're not made of glass, you know." when blocking someone's view.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Bert
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 07:46 PM

If a kid asked, "Where is my ...?"

The reply would be "Up in Annie's room, behind the clock"

As for dark you can't beat that unforgettable opening line from Trapp's War by Brian Callison "The night was as black as a Sudanese stoker's arse"

And the price of anything was "Fourpence 'apenee"

And the time was "half past twenty two getting on for nearly"

and someone incompetant "couldn't organize a piss up in a brewery"

The answer to What's for tea? was "Kippers with jam on"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 08:03 PM

Open Mike, my mother also used "Good night NURSE!" in Minnesota in the late 30s and the 40s. I would more-or-less echo back, "Good NIGHT, Nurse!"

If one of the kids dropped a piece of food on the kitchen floor, and didn't want to eat it because "It's DURRRRRR-ty!", my grandmother would assure us that "You gotta eat your peck of dirt before you die!"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Edmund
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 09:10 PM

He calls someone a BLIVIT.
I ask "What's a BLIVIT?"
He sais "Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag"

He sais "You think you're a great wit, like so many Irish, but you're only half Irish, so you know what that makes you."

Edmund

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: LadyJean
Date: 25 Sep 03 - 11:50 PM

What are we going to do today?
Stand on our head in the butterdish.
(Mother had degenerative arthritis, so it wouldn't have been easy for her.)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 02:41 AM

my mother's favourite saying was

" you'll die after it" I spent many a sleepless night worrying about not waking up eventually I asked her what she meant and was told
" well you cant die before it if its already happened can you?"

another favourite was
" if you dont eat your dinner you cant have any pudding" when my eldestwas about three I tried this one on him he just replied " if I eat all my dinner I wont have rom for any pudding!"

My maths teacher ( Mr Smart) when trying to teach my algebra spent a year saying if I have ten oranges and 3 apples what do I get - and clipping me round the ear for replies such as a fruit slad!

I had another teacher who is mudcatter who used to say 'as the actress said to te bishop....'

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: tuggy mac
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 05:35 AM

a fac like a bulldog chewing a wasp!(hornet to our american pals!)


And.

Also

He was shivering like a whippet taking a stif Crap!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 01:24 PM

The IRA's onion thing was specific to my sister and I. it was a version of 1billion green bottles really!
In Basildon in Essex there is a cooling tower which looks like a giant Onion. It is known locally as "The onion" My sister and I rather liked the Onion bit and added IRA for some reason I have now forgotten.
When driving through Basildon we will still chant when we can see it. It drives my mother up the wall :-)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 01:47 PM

From Hardi, a childhood memory of Grandpa Cleve--

Shit in one hand and wish in the other, and see which one gets fuller the fastest.

From my memory-- in response to a promise to deliver on something expected: "Yeah, and Christmas is coming."

~S~

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: JennyO
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 02:05 PM

"Where are you going, grandpa?" - "There and back to see how far it is." or "To see a man about a dog."

"Every horse to his own nosebag, said the old man as he kissed his cow." (my dad)

"What are we having for dinner mum?" "Pigs' didders (no idea what they are) on toast and duck under the table." or "Fresh air on toast."

My grandfather's favourite expression of surprise was "Great everlasting hambone!"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Forsh
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 02:27 PM

Many a mickle meks a muckle, (When given just a penny for reward)
Muckle beeng border land dialect for Large as in Muckle geet clart
(geet= great, clart= dirt/lump of mud, clarty= mucky/muddy etc)

and from my step dad, a value judgement: You're about as much use as a one legged criple at an arse-kicking contest!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Brían
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 10:39 PM

A couple fom my dad:

"What's for supper, dad?"-
"Bread and go with it."

"Off like a turd of hurdles".

One line an elderly woman told me when i figured out how to turn on an electric sander when I was sanding the floor in an apartment house:

"There, dear. Now you're cooking with gas."

Brían

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: LadyJean
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 11:43 PM

Dad would say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." But I'm still wishing.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Metchosin
Date: 26 Sep 03 - 11:59 PM

From my Grandma...Lands o' Goshen!

Something was "chocker block" if it was full to the brim.

Things were done quickly in "two shakes of a lambs tail"

If you were stupid you were "as thick as two short planks" or better yet, "if brains were gunpowder, that kid wouldn't have enough to blow his nose."

A kid with a cold's nose was so full there was no room for his finger.

and you were always warned not to "cut off your nose to spite your face".

When your dancin' with your honey
and your nose is sorta runny
and you think its kinda funny
well its not.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: C-flat
Date: 29 Sep 03 - 08:58 AM

To a kid with his finger up his nose............
"Pick us a winner for the 3.30!"
or
"Mind you don't pick the lining from your cap!"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Bassic
Date: 29 Sep 03 - 09:36 AM

As I child I seemed to spend endless hours in the back of a car going to "the coast", the usual responces to my pleadings of, "are we there yet?" were.........

Its just round that corner,

Its just over that hill,

First one to see the sea gets an ice cream

I told you to got before we left!!

OK, everyone out and push!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: C-flat
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 02:38 AM

One of my Mothers' favourite sayings everytime she saw a funeral,
"It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in!"


No idea what for!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: Snuffy
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 01:07 PM

That's an old music hall song, C-Flat. I remember hearing Alan Breeze sing it many times on the Billy Cotton Bandshow back in the 50s and 60s.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: C-flat
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 04:11 PM

It would be interesting to find the rest of the song. A quick "google" doesn't seem to shed any light. I wonder if anyone else remembers it?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Old sayings from childhood
From: GUEST,Bman
Date: 30 Sep 03 - 06:54 PM

From my high school geometry teacher: I see, said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.