BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 02:13 PM

That's a nasty way of clearing out ear wax. I hear candles work as well.
I recieved a lovely 10" polished sausage for Christmas this year. It has a high resin polish, made of wood with a little grass skirt attached to the base of it, which is attached to a butt reciprocal (ash tray). I know I will have to give it a good polish often for it to retain it's high glossy appearance.
Yes I do hob-nob with the best and I have sick little friends. Along with the 10" highly polished wood sausage, I recieved a tray of 1" baby sausages that can be polished off in one bite.

Peace, Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Big Mick
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 01:58 PM

One of the things I thank my first wife for (in addition to two wonderful children) is introducing me to the wonders of sausage polish. Now, everyone who has hung around in these neighborhoods knows there are several varieties. Smoked and fresh. I have considered trying to serve my sausage smoked, but for the life of me could not get past the mental imagery. So I stick to serving it fresh.

And I must say that the restraint I have seen in this thread is admirable, but not bound to last for long.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 01:48 PM

Probably the only thing better than doing the job yourself is to have a Chinese girl do it for you. Knew a guy with a priapic condition (for all you dumbasses, that's a boner that just won't quit) and he met this nice Chinese girl who was really interested in him. They were sitting on the couch and she was whispering in his ears, running her tongue around them, and things were progressing along. He asked her if she could help him with his "condition" and she said, "Oh yes. You need a wax job." He had his sausage polished before on many occasions but figured this was something especially Oriental and so he agreed.

She left the room and came back with two flat paddles, a ball of colored ribbons, and some handcuffs. Once again she ran her tongue around both his ears and then took down his pants. Without comment, she took his priapic member and laid it on one of the paddles, gently tying it in place with the ribbon. Again she kissed both cheeks and delicately ran her tongue around his ears. Then she handcuffed both hands behind his back and picked up the other paddle. She raised it high above her head and with a loud shriek, slapped it down on top of the other, flattening his willie between them. The guy's entire body stiffened as though it were undergoing an electrical shock......and the wax shot out of his ears.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Dr. Guitar
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM

(oh dear...this interweb thingy has let me down again...!)

.....Sutton Tools of the United Kingdom

are only charging £6.50 (excluding value added tax) for their finest hand polishing thread. At today's exchange rate this equates to $11.51. This means that you could potentially save $38.49 and, as Mr Catspaw49 so correctly states, nobody knows your sausage better that you do, nor can give it as fine a polishing job.

Your most sincerely ( and pro bono)

Dr. Guitar

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: GUEST,The Sausage Queen
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:46 AM

Hi there, boys ! May I introduce myself ? Anything I can help you with ?

THE SAUSAGE QUEEN

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Dr. Guitar
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:44 AM

My dear friends,

As you know I rarely post outside of my own little area of the Mudcat Cafe but the title of this particular compendium of letters attracted my professional curiosity, given that I am much asked about polishing matters.

My principle concern, as a member of the medical profession, is to help people and I feel that Mr Bee-dubya-ell may well need my assistance here.

Dear Mr Bee-dubya-ell,

You quote $50.00 but I fear you are being charged excessively for your polishing thread. You will see that

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Peg
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:34 AM

a   nice, fast, yummy idea for dinner:
make some couscous (garlic and parmesan or mushroom flavor are good). Slice and saute some   kielbasa. Saute some veggies in   butter or olive oil (mushrooms, brocooli and zucchini make   a nice combo; add a bit of lemon juice when they're done). Serve veggies and sausage over the couscous. This is easy and convenient to make when camping, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Kim C
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:33 AM

I never met a sausage I didn't like. I am, of course, referring to the kind you buy at the market and fry in a pan. I am especially fond of knockwurst - the real kind, not those goofy knock-off knockwursts Oscar Meyer likes to make.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:13 AM

Fortunately they also gave you instructions for it's use as well............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Max
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:06 AM

Being primarily Polish, I'd like to thank you for this thread. We Poles don't ever get the opportunity to talk about our sausages. One of our finest exports and no one seems to know how truly great they are.

My Polish Sausage may be the finest thing my parents ever gave me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 11:03 AM

I wouldn't post to this thread with a 10-foot pole.

Besides, my aunts always stuffed their sausage into cabbage leaves and baked it that-a-way. They could have done wurst!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: khandu
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 10:56 AM

Well, Joe Offer, can I help it if "polish" & "Polish" are spelled the same? Is it my fault that this serious thread has gotten waylaid by those whose mind run to things perverse?

Perhaps this is time to reconsider the Mudcat format! Perhaps the PTB should consider a more extensive filtering of the members!

BTW, Joe, do you have a "pro" do your sausage polishing?

k

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: artbrooks
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 10:07 AM

Personally, I have always found that Brasso gives the best polish.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:59 AM

I think the advantage of paying for a good polish is in the level of satisfaction. Sometimes things are best left to a pro but at other times they are not. If you are after a generally good polish then the pro is the way to go but for those times when only the best will do, no one can know the details of your sausage better than you.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Tinker
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:49 AM

Traditional Pairings would be more likey to combine Polish Sausage Polishing with Prize Pierogi Pinchers like Marie. Having grown up only one town over from the festival celebrating the worlds largest sausage, I can testify that variety is the spice of life. I have to confess perferring Linguica & Chourico in my youth.

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:46 AM

just call me obscure but I'm getting bizzare images of French Polish and French letters......... 'praps it is all that meths.....

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 09:39 AM

Most polish sausage jobs do not have high gloss as a requirement. Anyone knows that different polish have different techniques -- polishing something hard requires different materials than polishing something soft. Think of steel and softwood for example. You can use powders, steel wool and so on, but for the very soft things like sausage, you might want a polishing cream, jelly, or lip gloss.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Dead Horse
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 08:45 AM

So why does Bruce need a shiny sausage?
The mere thought of having my sausage buffed up with wire wool & Brillo pads leaves me speechless (almost). I much prefer my sausages to be matt or, at most, satin.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Hrothgar
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 05:52 AM

Oops, we've hit a snag!

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 05:48 AM

I don't really think this is an appropriate subject for a thread. It's not that I think there's anything wrong with sausage polishing, I just don't think it's something we need to talk about. If khandu or Spaw or Tweed wants to polish his sausage in the privacy of his own home that's his business and none of mine.

Okay, okay, I'll admit it, I've polished my sausage a few times. Hasn't everyone?   Well... everyone that has a sausage, that is. Sorta difficult to polish what you weren' t born with. But that doesn't mean you can't polish someone else's sausage. In fact, there are lots of people that don't have their own sausage that make good money polishing other people's sausages for them. Seems sorta lazy to me. Why would anyone want to give someone else $50.00 to polish their sausage when they could do it themselves for free?

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 05:31 AM

Dry kabano's.
yunny, eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 05:20 AM

And what is wrong with the good old fashioned British Banger?

We had some lovely ones this week..... made with organically reared 'outdoor' pork - actually tasted of meat, rather than rusk and water.

I've met a few Poles, even danced with one or two, and they all seem very nice to me (with one exception, but he was too fond of Polands' popular liquid export).

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:42 AM

Polish savage? The ones I have met have been quite civilized indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM

My Pleasure.

Chicago is well known for it's hot dogs and polish sausage is no exception. The Maxwell Street style polish is a kosher polish with the two essentials: yellow mustard and grilled onions

If you are ever at Chicago's White Sox park, try one off one of those cart grills. It can't possibly get any better.

It is a religious experience.

Subject: RE: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: artbrooks
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:15 AM

Kielbassa...beef and pork with garlic, by preference.

Subject: BS: The Much Needed Polish Sausage Thread
From: khandu
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 11:55 PM

Joe Offer said it:
"We really could use a Polish Sausage thread in this day and age."

& Joe Offer, Sir, is no igmo!

So here it is...

Discuss all things Polish Sausage here!

k