BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 04:38 AM

Sorry just had a bas attack of franglais. R & WR (sounds like a pre nationalised railway company) I will fight to the very second to win your heart, soul and money. Kampervan hath no chance he is beaten before he starts. He could not even beat an egg.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 04:35 AM

Ponce, ponce, ponce sacre beaujolais et bon appetite. Mais je ne understand que Kampervan mince about. Le victoraie c'est ours !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 04:05 AM

Furthermore, what sort of ponce uses "peekaboo" to open his posting, if he considers the duel to be a childrens game then our victory will be both glorious and simple

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 07:44 PM

Petit Blanc et Rouge Lapin,

I could be VERY nice to you if only you wished, the Avril Betes (her French asperations are dubious) of this mortal coil are nought to your wonderful charms, she is liken to a female Monsieur D Bryant, may God perserve us.

The pusillanimous, timorous, runaway who would seek to be your betrothed is fearful, hesitant and is suffering from shaking and trembling, palpitations, jitters and the creeps at the thought of facing my wrath.

Kampervan I personally challange you to a duel, in the highly unlikely event of you being triumphant over my Noble Lord MC Fat, I remain as always a trusty and loyal second to me Noble Lord

Lord Bulstrode Wraggetache of Colne

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Kampervan
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM

Peekaboo, here I am.

Thanks to my most gallant, honourable and courageous second, the Great Lord Bryant, for dealing in such a commanding and decisive way with the pathetic best that our opponents could muster.

Sorry to been a little remote o deliciously delectable R&WR.

I've been away, meditating on the course of things to come.

The responsibility of wreaking such a horrible veangance on a man whom once I thought my friend does not sit lightly on my shoulders. I have been seeking counsel from the wise ones; working with them to ensure that the end of McFat is humbling but not humiliating.

I have no wish to destroy his childlike illusory world but he must be made aware of reality.

How can he believe that he is a LORD? He was born, has lived and will have to continue to live, as a villein. This he must know.

The great ones are with us. We can only succeed. En avant, mes enfants!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 02:41 PM

Aw shucks Pete

Avril - you'd go very well with the good lord Raggy whose encampment at festivals tends to be stocked full of wine and pate - as for French letters - well you'd better ask him!

Trash Gay G - sorry Raggy my dear if you are nice to me I shall tell you how much I raised on Sunday for that life boat you try to keep afloat by singing my song!!


Kampervan where art thou?

McFat - you arent making much of a job of fighting for me - looks like you're going to let Kampervan take me without so much as a murmur - is that all this last months have meant to you? After all I have done - Avril perhaps you can take over from me - the good Lord McFat has a knack of finding 'the spot'!( usually one a cow has left but he still comes up smelling of roses - or should that be lavender?)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 12:05 PM

Oh but I'd never dream of biting anything off or chewing it. I'd be very gentle. My grandma came from France, the same as my name, so I like french things, you know - wine and letters from my relatives over there.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:54 AM

Beat you to it, R&WR!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM

Please dont encourage the noble Sir Raggy - people are bound to make comments about his guitar playing so I wont but you may find you have bitten off more than you can chew if you encourage him

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:49 AM

Avril, Nicholas doesn't so much play it as wring it's neck.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 11:12 AM

Does "Alta Ego" mean the same as mistress - because if so it's not true. I know that he does really fancy me (most men do), but Linda won't let me get near to him.

It's funny, but Dave Bryant warned me about you when I joined Mudcat.
Is it alright if I call you Nicolas ? - it sounds a nice name. Do you play guitar ? because I'm looking for a nice young man who could accompany me for all sorts of things.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 06:36 AM

Hark !

This is rich indeed coming from the Alta ego of the infamous Avril Betes, reknown man eater with a bosom of such proportions that it could only have been dreamt up by a fink and a chalatan such as this "man" is.

Mr Byrant you are nought but a blackguard, brute, heel, knave and evildoer. I look forward with relish to our forthcoming battle, if your faint-of-heart, chicken livered protagonist co-dueller ever raises his craven head again.

Lord Bulstrode de Wraggetache

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 06:19 AM

I am sure that Kampervan has not decided to turn his back on the coming fray. He was probably appalled and disgusted by the discourse between yourself and Deanmeister, which was of the level one would expect from two pupils at a girls preparatory school haranguing each other from adjacent lavatory cubicles.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 06:18 AM

Arty Shagg, I have less of your lip.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 05:49 AM

Me thinks Deanmiester old chap that Kampervan has reconsidered his suicidal bid to challenge my Noble Leige, MC Fat, and has taken the cowardly way to distance himself from the inevitable and ignominious defeat by remaining silent in the hope we will forgive his audacity and forget his mendacity.

Did you know you name is a anagram of ememas tried? coincidence perchance

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 05:04 AM

Oh - at last you two have stopped your lover's tiff thread-creep and are getting back to the main issue.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 05:00 AM

What news of KV's campaign?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 04:29 AM

Very dangerous anagram Sir Rag

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 02:57 PM

Rich indeed coming from " a whetted birdbrain"

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 01:48 PM

or yours is an anagram of gag trashy?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 01:15 PM

Oi Deanmeister is it any coincidence that your name is an anagram of driest enema ? ............. Ooooooooooooh !!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 11:12 AM

Can we change this subject and get back to the duel. I find thoughts of Raggybum having sexual congress with (or wet dreams about) any mammal - of either sex, very disturbing.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM

What, with Phatboy coming out, and myself being finally exposed, I thought you might feel a little more comfortable about revealing your preferences, Bottyblast.

Don't be shy. It's ok in this day and age.

Do you prefer Italian or Chinese?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:53 AM

Rabbit - when Avril's around, they're all too tensed up looking for a possible means of escape to be limp ! Pehaps Avril would be suitable wench for Raggyarse's harem - with the large economy size he wouldn't need to bother about the smaller offers.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:52 AM

Peter,
Glad it went well for you and Roger, couldn't stay any later as our American friend was a little shell shocked at 3 days of partying after a 16 hour flight from San Fransico.

Just one little thing Peter, please don't put kisses on your threads to me, I know you mean well but with your reputation people may get the wrong idea about me too !!

Cheers ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:25 AM

I had to go and get tooled up for mine and Sir Roger's devastating display of musical virtuosity at the Sun Inn last night, Nick. I note that you daren't even poke your head through the door. The Strat was unleashed at last on the unsuspecting people of Beverley! Had a really nice night, actually.

Was good to see you though, you handsome devil, you xx

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 06:03 AM

I have witnesses who will verify that once De-mister realised one of MC's team was on the premises he fled, defeated indeed, tish and nonsense

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 05:46 AM

Saggytrash was once again defeated by a single blow at the Monks Walk session yesterday. You were on my turf, boyo. Veni, vidi, vici.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 01:13 PM

how - i could do with some ideas

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 10:34 AM

I can usually cure limp parts on most men.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 04:46 AM

Listen, sweetie-pie, you're only jealous of my delicate touch on the guitar ;o)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 02 Apr 04 - 04:05 AM

Sensitive is the ne limp wristed

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:47 PM

I hope its not Dove sensitive - otherwise we could be in for a real slanging match!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 02:25 PM

Why woz he born at all!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:59 AM

Oh Deanie, so good to hear from you. I was told you were unwell, I think that's what they meant when they said you were feeling a little queer

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:51 AM

Why woz he born so beautifool !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 Apr 04 - 03:33 AM

I like that Dove, me. It's gentle on my sensitive skin. I mean, a boy's got to be careful if he wants to preserve his beauty.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:10 PM

limp wrists, flase accusations, threats and betrayal its got all the features of a soap this thread ( or should that be soap on a rope?)

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 11:10 AM

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! Thanks, Avril.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Avril Betts
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 11:08 AM

Perhaps we should send Avril Betts up to Raggytash - I'm sure she'd settle his hash - a few bacardis and he'd have to fight her off - then he'd get thumped by Wombat as well.

Deano - don't give a damn about what McFatMcDonald says - he's admitted to being a Banjo Player - and I bet he doesn't care if the banjo is male or female !

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 09:40 AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!!!!!

This calls for immediate action! Right, I forthwith, hitherto, and with immediate effect, propose the motion to discuss the prevention of the Raggytash, without prejudice, to be denied access, ergo, to a geographical zone consisting 100 miles radius.... oh, pooh, where was I? Oh yeah. All those in favour, say aye.

Whatever happened to the People's Front of Judea?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 07:16 AM

I thought he was your husband to be Big Bird, this must come as a shock and a terrible disappointment for you, if I could offer solcae my dear ...............

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 06:29 AM

yuk -
limp wrists!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: MC Fat
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 04:12 AM

Limp wristed Deano eh dancing at the wrong side of the ballroom. We can put out the knowledge even if it is false....

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 03:37 AM

Help me out here, Bootiful Bird? Just because I refuse to be drawn into cheap innuendo, I'm apparently gay now! How did that happen?

Anyway, I don't fancy chaps with facial hair. Just in case Floppytosh thought he was in with a chance. I swore my undying love for the Faversham Filly last year, and not even he can take me away from you!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 02:58 AM

Deanmeister! This is your chance to reconvert him!

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:42 AM

I have only been away a couple of days and the duel has heated up enough to replace the nuclear power industry!

Hi Big Bird - missed you too

DeanMeister whats this about you coming out?

Whats more important is that I have just learnt that my beloved future husaband has a wife already who works for a brewery - how can a girl compete with that? Might have to change allegiance but who will make husband number four now?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 06:26 PM

North of Berwick ........... Hmmmmmmmm You're all celts up there ........ is that the correct spelling ?

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 04:26 PM

Raggytash, you're all southerners to us north of Berwick.

Subject: RE: BS: Duel MCFAT - KAMPERVAN
From: Big Bird
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 02:01 PM

Blimey - I was only away a couple of days! What are you lot like?!?!
Deano's come out; Raggytash is still trying to make out he's a real man, and a hit with the ladies (will somebody have a quiet word); someones' done away with RWR; Dad's turned to bribery and corruption (hoorah!)
You're all mad!