Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)

Subject: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: InOBU
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 11:29 AM

This song was passed down in my family for about 65,000 years ... it tells of the coming of the Homo Sapiens to the Loire Valley in the year of Grummmpleshstien - named after a funny joke as numbers were not yet invented. The fact that this song comes down in my family and is of Neanderthal origins explains the prominent noses and weak chins in our clan. But, I think you'll enjoy it anyway. I present only the chorus in Neander, because few speak it today, but the translation almost captures the spirit or the oooooorrrrrrriptoshitz, as one would say in Loire Valley Neander.


Eieieieieinowhopgazzizile Pogerfiz wha hee wanker bastards
Neowniterp hapadinkhapadinkhapadingk dongerfutz
Mai, si vous oporongnlkjweropiugtoon youbetcha honk
Ssssssllllliiiiiiiiipppppppooooonnnnnnneeeerrrrrrwallet.

Chorus:
Here they come again those narrow headed no brow wanker bastards (the oldest phrase in any language)
With their bivalve tools and their ugly assed kids who never seem to stop yelling,
How can we sleep, if you please, you loud mouthed gets
When you are napping flints from dusk to dawn.

Verses:
Damn but it stinks these days!
Remember when we never heard of energetic thin heads?
Who'da thunk they'd procreate so fast...
When all their women are so thin and have no brow ridges!?

Hey! If they don't slow down they'll eat every damn Woolly Mammoth!
Who cares an unplanned poorly executed dump if they eat too many rhinoceroses
they're too tough anyway and not much use and remember when
Ummblic Sorophomani (Nora Jones) got trampled by one when she paused to admire her bum in a puddle of unusually clear Antelope piss?

Like I said, it really stinks these days!
Before you know it, just like Issmilamonany Furterbetz* , they'll go invent an atom bomb
and blow a new part in your hair, as well as blowing the Loire Valley out of France and into Englands back country (at this point everyone slams the person to the left on the knee with a rock) where it is so wet and cold you'll wish you never left Africa!

So, what the hey! If I had any forethought, and didn't mind getting my hands dirty
I'd tap one on the shoulder and advise him or her to go back to England or Germany or where ever the hell they make the wankers.
Oh ... and what about last Tuesday, mate?

* Issmilamonany Furterbetz - the inventor of the concept of the Atom Bomb ... once around tea ... which then consisted of a light broth of Antelope dung ... he sat up on his rock and said, "Hey guys, I we knap a flint in half, and in half again and in half again, a thousand times or so, until we get down to the littlest bugger of matter, and then all got together and whapped that at the same nanosecond ... damn but all hell would break loose! The neanders took away his hammerstone.
Hope you sing it in good health
Larry

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at a
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 11:57 AM

ROTFLMAO - fantastic Larry! Inspired!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:00 PM

tune?

and is a hammered mastadon shoulder bone the correct accompianment?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:24 PM

A stonker - worthy of inclusion in the next Mudcat CD, for historical reasons alone.

For accompaniment I'd prefer a goose being brought to the point of strangulation and then released just enough, and again, and again. It is the precursor of the smallpipes. Of course, if we are going to be purist about it, one should do it with a dodo, but....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:26 PM

The extinction of the dodo was due to the (lack of) practice of the musicians - right?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:27 PM

Got it in one!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: okthen
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:30 PM

It is out of copyright isn't it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 12:39 PM

There was no writing then anyway - copying was impossible. So it's free.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:08 PM

Not bad, and it's educational as well.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:19 PM

oughta be noted that that chorus is a Northern Neanderthal dialect. In the south, near what is now Italy, it was more like "you-a-betcha honk"...in the subjunctive, of course.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 04 - 05:22 PM

Inspired.

A

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: InOBU
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 03:43 AM

hiya gang... broke my right hand today... sang the whole song as i crawled to the hospital... sang it so loud the factory down the block knocked off for lunch and folks headed for the air-raid shelter. there is an older version ... a sort of snot down your nose at the chimpazees ... a austrolopithicean version of the song which ends that was no chimpanzee that was my wife - one of the oldest lines in any song or joke... larry

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: The oldest protest song (or song at all)
From: Tam the Bam (Nutter)
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 11:18 AM

I thought that the song 'the cutty wren' was the oldest protest song, because it's about the pesant revolt during the 14th centuary.(1381)