BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 12:10 AM

You like the bell rope, you'll LOVE the harness! Just watch that first step. . . if you're not careful you'll end up out on the roof.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MAG
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 12:14 AM

I think a steam room is better for colds than a sauna; sauna could play havoc on your mucus mambranes while a steam helps you breathe. Through this plexigalss door you will find a small chamber with clean sheets, for spreading down or wrapping up. Nice wide benches so you can lie down or have your feet straight out. Higher benches for the diehard Russian steamroom types. Coed OK as long as everyone behaves. (oh how stupid to say that.)You know how great your voice gets in a steamy shower? Well, just think how much volume we can get up in here! Bar service available through that little window over there. I'll have a haahen dazs and tia maria sundae, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Pauline L
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 02:47 AM

MAG, thanks for the steam room. It's just what I need to recover from my cough. Aaaaah, that feels so good.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 04:04 AM

Volume (noise wise) has never been my problem... but I'll take you up on it... it's about time the pores got a good swill out.

Can you please drop a little lavendar oil on the coals? And don't be using any eucalyptus... I don't need my sinuses cleared from my toes up!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 08:52 AM

the steam is loverly! I am fighting off a cold myself - major symptom being I can't seem to get warm! (not normally a problem for me) - I haven't checked into the recovery room because Nurse Ratched scares me!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 09:42 AM

And whilst going up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down, the bells pealing madly overhead, he bursts into song!

The scene was in the jailhouse, and if curfew rang that night
The guy in number 13 cell would go out like a light.
She knew her Dad was innocent, and so Poor Little Nell
Has tied her tender torso to the clapper of the bell.

cho: Oh, hang on the bell, Nelly, hang on the bell
Your poor Daddy's locked in a cold prison cell.
As you swing to the left, and you swing to the right
Remember that curfew must never ring tonight.

It all began when Nelly said, "No! No!" to Handsome Jack
And struggled as he tried to kiss her by the railroad track;
Her Dad rushed up to save her as the train came down the line,
And Jack fell back across the track and paid the price of crime.

Dear Daddy was arrested, and brought up before the Law,
The P'liceman said,"Old Handsome Jack ain't handsome any more!"
Then Nelly came and pleaded, but the jury did not care ---
They didn't have a sofa, so they offered him the chair.

Well, they pulled upon the bellrope, but there was no ting-a-ling
They could not get their business done, the curfew would not ring!
Upstairs, poor Nell was swinging, while below they pulled and heaved,
When suddenly a voice cried "Stop! Your father's been reprieved!"

They cut her fair young body down, while she made protest weak
And as they laid her on the ground, she cried with girlish peep,
"Look! I tried to save my Daddy! A true and noble thing!
But man! while I was up there, I learned it's fun to swing!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 09:48 AM

Rap - you don't happen to have tadpoles for that do you? it's one of the "missing tunes"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 10:32 AM

Please make sure you take your Christmas decorations down in a timely manner or you will upset sensitive non-christians.

Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 12:07 PM

Martin, scram. If you don't want to play nicely just don't bother to come in here.

The giant squid raises its head, loosens its grip on the harness and reaches one tentacle out toward the surly man standing complaining in the doorway. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 04 - 09:44 PM

Oh, pooh. And he lets go of the rope, because Serious Mario has asked a serious question which deserves a serious answer, seriously.

No. But the song was recorded by the Chad Mitchell Trio on their Mightly Day On Campus album (Kapp KS-3262, 1961) and The Best of the Chad Mitchell Trio (Kapp KS-3334, 1963).

I took the words from the DT, but here's how I remember the Trio sang them:

The scene was in the jailhouse, and if curfew rang that night
The guy in number 13 cell would go out like a light.
She knew her Dad was innocent, and so poor Little Nell
Tied her tender torso to the clapper of the bell.

cho: Oh, hang on the bell, Nelly, hang on the bell
Your poor Daddy's locked in a cold prison cell.
As you swing to the left, Nelly, swing to the right
Remember that curfew bell must never ring tonight.

It all began when Nelly said, "No! No!" to Handsome Jack
And struggled for her virtue down there by the railroad track;
Her Dad rushed up to save her as the train came down the line,
And Jack fell back across the track and paid the price of crime.

Her Daddy was arrested, and brought up before the Law,
The P'liceman said,"Old Handsome Jack ain't handsome any more!"
Nelly came and pleaded, but the jury did not care ---
They didn't have a sofa, so they offered him the chair.

Well, they pulled upon the bellrope, but there was no ting-a-ling
They could not get their foul deed done, for curfew would not ring!
Upstairs, poor Nell was swinging, while below they pulled and heaved,
When suddenly a voice cried "Stop! Your Daddy's been reprieved!"

They cut her fair young body down, while she made protest weak
And as they laid her on the ground, she cried with girlish peep,
"Look! I tried to save my Daddy! A true and noble thing!
But man! while I was up there, I learned it's fun to swing!"

I thought I had the specks in my copy of The Mitchell Trio Song Book (Quadrangle Books, 1964), but it's not there. However and for what it's worth, the following ARE there:

The John Birch Society
Alberta
Maladyozhenaya
The Banks of Sicily
Green Grow the Lilacs
You Can Tell The World
The Virgin Mary
Alma Mater
Mighty Day
Me Voy Pa Bete
I Feel So Good About It
What Did You Learn In School Today?
Tell Old Bill
Rum By Gum
The Golden Vanity
The Ides of Texas
The Hip Song
Bonny Streets of Fyve-io
The Story of Alice
Paddy West
Ain't No More Cane On This Brazos
Moscow Nights
Super Skier
The Unfortunate Man
Whup Jamboree
Rally Round The Flag (medley with In The Summer Of His Years)
Hello, Susan Brown
The Marvelous Toy
Queen Elinor's Confession
James James Morrison Morrison
Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream
Johnnie
Tail Toddle
An Irish Song
The Twelve Days of Christmas

And I can sing Nelly for you if you want, but I don't have the recordings anymore.

Seriously.

And I make this offer: I'll scan in and email any of the above on request.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MAG
Date: 31 Dec 04 - 12:27 PM

There's a guy at our song circle who does "Hang on the bell, Nelly" every time. I could do harmony, Rapaire.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 04 - 04:34 PM

All seriousness aside....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Pauline L
Date: 31 Dec 04 - 05:05 PM

I want to wish everyone Happy New Year!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 04 - 05:51 PM

Surreptiously, he fingers a lighter...and a fuse that ends who knows where....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 04 - 09:42 PM

"Boy," he thinks, "this joint is way too quiet."

And he lights the fuse.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 04 - 11:06 PM

but someone with the initials "Martin Gibson" pissed on it before it had time to burn to the cake covered with sparklers that would go off at midnight to wish everyone a happy new year! (So El Punkoid will no doubt whip out his trusty lighter and start it up again soon).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 05 - 12:01 AM

Well, pee, he says, and relights it well away from the puddle.

The fuse burns, an inch a minute. It reaches the point where it branches off to other fuses, pauses, and the multitude of fuses lights.

He very quickly walks outside, well away from the lights of the Tavern.

There is a muffled FWOOF! as the explosives ignite, and from the dark that surrounds the Tavern mortars fire pre-planned charges into the night sky, where in a burst of pyrotechnics they explode, and in the cold night air hangs for many minutes a flaming

HAPPY NEW
YEAR!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jan 05 - 01:30 AM

SAME TO
YOU!
LIBRARIANS RULE!

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jan 05 - 11:24 AM

Oh, gawd, look at the state of this place. . . bottles and bits of paper on the floor and tables. What was in that cake besides cake?. . . Sleeping people everywhere. . . cats and ducks sleeping together. . .and the squid ended up in the rafters. Now THAT must be a story!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jan 05 - 07:27 PM

And it's still Christmas for another 4 days!!!

Er... can someone unlock the door of the steam room please? Much more of this and I shall shrink to 3'2" and be the same in height as I am in width.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 05 - 07:52 PM

He peeks back into the place, smiles at the mess, and re-enters. There is knocking from somewhere and the squid shifts restlessly, like someone whose sleep is being disturbed.

From above, a tentacle grasps the door to the steam room and rips it off, flinging it somewhere, where it lands with a crash.

The tentacle withdraws.

Thirstily, he approaches the bar. Perhaps there is some form of drink left.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 02 Jan 05 - 04:44 AM

The punkoid stirs from his reverie...

Wow - those were some pyrotechnics! It had all seemed like a dream to him, the dream of a lifetime.

How long had he been staring, glassy eyed, at the remnants of the cake?

The memories of that glorious burst started drifting back - the hasty scramble to relight the fuse (why hadn't they let him burn Mr Gibson's guitars?), the explosions, the fires...

Oh joy, oh rapture, oh... Poop Poop!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 05 - 11:01 AM

EPN, he thinks, should have taken a course in explosives & demolitions from the US Army, followed by one on improvised explosives. And his mind drifts back, for a pull at the wine brings an old soldier's dreams from afar....

...to the latter part of the 1960s and a bridge, a dangerous span, that was slated for destruction by the E&D class. To the calculations carefully calculated to blow the abutments, to cut the stringers into precise lengths for later disposal. To the group working on blowing the center pier, and watching them fasten 40-pound cratering charges (each of which could could blow a hole in an Interstate highway that was eight feet deep and 15 feet across), one leg of the charge bent to angle the blast upwards, one charge to each side, the pier then wrapped in PETN detonating cord and blocks of TNT. To the governor of Illinois pushing pushing the button that triggered the blasts. To the careful crumbling of the abutments, to the steel stringers blown into precise 8-foot length, to the center pier disappearing in a blast that tossed debris about 200 feet in the air, to the E&D class rolling around with laughter...

...and he thinks on EPN and what he missed, and is grateful that EPN did.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jan 05 - 04:52 PM

Hell, who needs a military background to play with explosives... just give me another helping of sprouts, wash it down with beer and stand the hell way back!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 11:50 AM

Bugger the sprouts and beer...

epn was at a certain Midlands UK University roughly at the same time as a certain runner, now elevated to the Upper House. Said runner broke the World Record for 800 metres... or was it 1500, or even the mile? just after epn completed his finals; probably said runner was recovering the record from a Mr Ovett on this particular day,as they seemed to trade titles like billy-o.

We swore blind that he was assisted by the jet propulsion effect of Hall breakfasts - beans every day!

Then, of course, there was Blazing Saddles...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:00 PM

OK, Christmas and New Year's is now over.

This place should be closed and you should try to get drunk for other reasons.

Give it up.

all Christmas items are now 50-75% off. No refunds.

Please take all decorations down now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:09 PM

Christmas is *NOT* over until January 6. it's not OUR fault people rush the season and start in August! Why should we stop celebrating when it *is* still Christmas?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:16 PM

It is not still Christmas. It is now the beginning of the St. Valentine's day holiday. You are now encouraged to buy your valentine day decoration and put them up. Your local merchants and your economy depends on it.

Why does it Xmas end 1/6? Did it take Jesus 12 days to get born or something?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:26 PM

yes - mary had protracted labour. all that traveling in her last trimester.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 12:28 PM

nothing like celebrating the feast day of a saint who had his head chopped off and buried in a pot of basil.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 01:01 PM

Are there any special days in which you use rosemary? I have some bushes that have gotten MUCH larger than I expected. We need an occasion to use all of this wonderful herb (I'd hate to waste it in the compost!)

Hmmmm. . . thinking . . . thinking. . .

If I cut the shrub back, do you have any chicken breasts back there in the tavern kitchen, MMario? I've seen those British ladies who cook Italian food spear chicken breasts with rosemary branches before grilling, and they look marvelous. I can bring you a bushel or so.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 01:07 PM

I haven't checked the walk-in recenlty - but if not - I *could* use "THE DOOR" to get a bunch of passenger pigeons. they taste like chicken. right?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 01:22 PM

okay - according to the handy dandy internet search and a quick browse - traditionally Rosemary has been used as a strewing herb at christmas - also used for epiphany as it is associated with the flight into Egypt.

Other associations make it appropriate for weddings

Thomas More evidenlty had a great deal of rosemary in his gardens - so it would be appropriate to use it for his feast day (June 22)

It was used by ancient greeks before exams - so could be used the same way now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM

Being a good librarian (actually the very best one in the whole world), he coughs up the answer to Martin Gibson's question and spits out the relevant part:

The Twelve Days of Christmas are probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Contrary to much popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th).

The origin of the Twelve Days is complicated, and is related to differences in calendars, church traditions, and ways to observe this holy day in various cultures (see Christmas). In the Western church, Epiphany is traditionally celebrated as the time the three Wise Men or Magi arrived to present gifts to the young Jesus (Matt. 2:1-12). In some cultures, especially Hispanic and Latin American culture, January 6th is observed as Three Kings Day, or simply the Day of the Kings (Span: la Fiesta de Reyes, el Dia de los Tres Reyes, or el Dia de los Reyes Magos; Dutch: Driekoningendag). Even though December 25th is celebrated as Christmas in these cultures, January 6th is often the day for giving gifts. In some places it is traditional to give Christmas gifts for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Since Eastern Orthodox traditions use a different religious calendar, they celebrate Christmas on January 7th and observe Epiphany or Theophany on January 19th.

By the 16th century, some European and Scandinavian cultures had combined the Twelve Days of Christmas with (sometimes pagan) festivals celebrating the changing of the year. These were usually associated with driving away evil spirits for the start of the new year.

The Twelfth Night is January 5th, the last last day of the Christmas Season before Epiphany (January 6th), and often included feasting along with the removal of Christmas decorations. French and English celebrations of Twelfth Night included a King's Cake, remembering the visit of the Three Magi, and ale or wine (a King's Cake is part of the observance of Mardi Gras in French Catholic culture of the Southern USA). In some cultures, the King's Cake was part of the celebration of the day of Epiphany.

Then he re-lubricates his brain with more hoochanoo, all the while wondering why things like Advent, Lent, Ramadan, Christmas, Channukah, and Kwanza are spread over a period of time.

Eventually, the hooch kicks in and he doesn't care.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:20 PM

I don't drink, Rap.

Too many use the holiday as just an excuse to do so.

Not being of the christian faith, the sooner this gets over with, the sooner we have to have it jammed down our throats.

At least the stores have finally backed off.

remember, 50% off all Christmas cards, while supplies last.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: GUEST,The Giant Squid
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:33 PM

I've grown fond of these sacks of flesh covered bones that walk on the land. But this complaining one in the doorway really chaps my hide. (I have hung around that bookish fellow from Idaho too long).

The squid squeegies his body across the room faster than any of the inhabitants realized he could move, and swiftly wraps Martin Gibson in all eight limbs, only to squeegee with the cursing, struggling man back across the room and drop him head first into the sticky green jello pit.

AND STAY THERE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 02:44 PM

The only thing you can do with your 8 tentacles is whack off 8 times as fast as anyone else.

Come near me and I'll blow you up with an M80 you piece of carp.

Go fuck Cthulu or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 03:08 PM

Got something against squid, Martin?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 03:11 PM

Yes. squid suck. I don't even like calamari. It's like eating a shoe.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 05:58 PM

Ok....welcome to the Mudcat Tavern! Drop the Christmas and we can stay here and get pissed all year! Have a drink Martin...!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 06:00 PM

OK, how about a Jack and Ginger? Or at least a glass of Mogen David?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 07:08 PM

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969 . . .

We can afford better stuff that MD20/20, Martin. The booze goes on Bert's credit card. He left it behind a few years ago.

If you do a search, Lynne, you'll find this place apparates in and out through the year.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 05 - 08:10 PM

Give the man what he wants. If he wants to drink MD (not 20/20!) let him. Me, I'll have some more of that fermented and distilled fruit cocktail called "hoochanoo."

Hell, I've drunk worse than either!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 03:25 AM

Here you are Martin *hands Martin the drink he requested. Enjoy! There's plenty of food around if you want some......here, have this comfy chair, it's time I got out of it, I've been sat here all Yuletide! Happy Year everyone! Soon be time to celebrate Imbolc...or whatever you want to celebrate.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:16 AM

Still got celebrations for Twelfth Night, Distaff Sunday and Plough Monday to organise yet... Twelfth Night is fairly well known (usually as Epiphany by the Church), but Distaff Sunday was the first Sunday after 12th Night when the women (distaff side or spinsters) took up their spindles again after the holidays. The men didn't go back until the following Monday, Plough Monday, when the plough was cleaned and decorated with ribbons and corn dollies, taken into church, blessed and then taken to the field. The horse pulling it was also cleaned and decorated, wearing its best tack, brasses, ribbons and corn dollies first cut was then made, blessed, annointed (with cider usually) and prayers made for a good crop. Then they drank the rest of the cider and had a party for the rest of the day.

These days, the Whittlesea Straw Bear is one of the few Plough Monday celebrations left (most of the others got wiped out with the Reformation and Oliver Grumble's lot), and that is next weekend, 7th-9th Jan, being the first after Twelfth Night (or Epiphany). Whittlesea is in Cambridgeshire, UK and This is their homepage.

So fire up the stove again, get the mulled cider going, still got a week of celebrating to get on with!

(I'll have an OJ and lemonade as I'm checking into the Recovery ward on the 10th, you wait 9 months for surgery and it bloody comes along when you have the least time for it!)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 04:25 AM

Having spent Christmas and New Year in darkest Kent sampling hop based products Mingulay realises that tempus is once again fugitting rapidly and quickly puts in an order for Easter Eggs before they all go. Forward planning is the name of the game, this year's turkey is due to hatch any day.

Looked in at the Tavern on the way home but the place was deserted apart from a Middle Eastern looking guy covered in green jello and sucker marks selling second hand Christmas cards.

Oh how the mighty are fallen!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:20 AM

And now he's stuck to the upholstery in the comfy chair. He might not get out of there for months!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:37 AM

HOORAY!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:38 AM

399

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern too....
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 10:39 AM

Leadfingers,
            400. Eat my shorts!