BS: Hesperis getting divorced

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 08:50 AM

Many years ago, I got married, then as time passed, I grew up. Wrong way to do it. Grow up, then get married.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:52 AM

I vow to love you, to be intelligently loyal to you,
and to treasure your presence in my life
for the rest of my life.

Let us both promise to help each other
become ever more true to our truer, deeper Selves,
and to the Higher Power that guides us.
So be it.

might help you both if you read over these vows you cared enough to make...........just a thought

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 11:03 AM

I got married, then I grew up. Wrong way.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 11:27 AM

Freda ......... your comments, and those of others, about various allergies are, as you say, constructive. Perhaps you should start a new thread in order to expand the knowledge of others to what are obviously debilitating symptoms. Sadly adding them to this thread which is full of vitriol and back biting detracts from the valuable message you are trying to pass on to others

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 12:30 PM

Thanks, Freda.

So, GUEST,A man's view, one hopes you never find yourself helpless and dependent upon someone who must care for you. You might just find out what it means to be human.

One thing you and some of the other judgemental ones on this thread don't seem to be taking into consideration is the possibility that Steve thought he could handle the role of loved one to a very sick person, and after making the committment, he found out that he just wasn't up to the job. I've been in relationships with men who thought they were up to the job and found out that they weren't. The bitternenss you see in hesperis' first post is certainly something I have felt myself. What you feel at a time like that is this "why on earth didn't you tell me you couldn't do it before I burned all of my safety bridges and let go of my support system in order to be with you?"

Of course, the answer is that it really isn't possible for anyone to know until they've tried. And because hesperis is as young as she is, she can be forgiven for not having enough experience with relationships to be able to spot the ones who are taking on more than they can handle. Goodness knows it took me long enough to get it figured out.

In my opinion, hesperis is showing an amazing amount of maturity in allowing Steve to readjust his relationship with her to something he is able to handle. And she is doing it lovingly and without judgement or recriminations (first post to this thread notwithstanding... that post was made in a moment of dispair). She's doing a much better job of it than I have done in similar circumstances. Read hesperis' posts to her birthday thread. I think if you could ask Steve, he would tell you that he is very relieved to be able to still be close to hesperis without having to fill a role that he is not ready or able to fill.

Raggytash, you are not helping.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 12:52 PM

Some folks love to kick others when they're down. Commn enough here. If there is any truth to karma, they in turn will be on the receiving end at some time. Just the way life works, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: hesperis
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 01:31 PM

To continue the discussion on health issues, try this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Auggie
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 01:46 PM

Carol C

When I first glanced at this thread I thought it extremely inappropriate for a public forum, and swore to myself I wouldn't even finish reading it let alone post to it, but..

It's seldom that I find myself agreeing with your posts when they are political in nature, that said, the fact that you have to defend yourself,even here in cyberspace, for just being ill is total bullshit. You can rage on against the ignorance if you like, of course, and you should be commended for that, but I think if it were me, I would marshal my energies towards maintaining/improving my own health, and just ignore the imbeciles.

It's just impossible to convince some people that the rest of us are not just like they are. Many here, especially the Bold But Anonymous, seem all too ready to judge you for that which they obviously know little about.

Be Well

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:21 PM

CarolC are you on welfare?

Haven't seen Jack here lately, not that I miss him at all. Just wonder why?

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Raggytash
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 03:09 PM

CarolC ......... and you think you are?

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 03:55 PM

Marriage is no place for anyone with serious emotional problems. Just as having a baby will not save a sick marriage, they are both very wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 03:56 PM

If you are looking for someone to carry your load, be prepared for disappointment

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST,not that guest
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 04:03 PM

"Marriage is no place for anyone with serious emotional problems"???

So those with serious mental health problems should be doomed to a life without marriage??? Tell that to my grandparents - one of whom had bipolar disorder (manic depression), but had a wonderfully strong marriage. Or myself - having severe seasonal affective disorder, but a marriage going on for 10 years and looking like going a lot longer.

Of couse one shouldn't marry in an attempt to cure ones emotional problems, but that wasn't what you said...

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 04:10 PM

Those with serious mental health problems should get help.

A severe season affective disorder? what season? Move to a different climate or something.

A good shrink could sure get a lot of clients here.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 04:57 PM

My meaning was perfectly clear if you don't read in a lot that is not there. I said SERIOUS, and I implied that if you go into a marriage looking for a cure for your disorder, you are bound to be disappointed. Is that better?

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:14 PM

Let's face it. the marriage ended because the sex was bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:17 PM

Just glad I don't have an allergy to the female of the species!!
And don't ask what species Martin...ROFLOL.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:28 PM

georgiansilver, yeah just think if a guy had an allergy to the smell of tuna how rough that would be.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 06:50 PM

No Martin. I'm not on welfare. If I weren't married to JtS I would probably still be living on an SSI disability. JtS is a brave man, and a better man than many. We both did our best to make sure he knew what he was getting into before we got married. And he has done a very good job of being a good partner. We both carry our weight in the marriage, but we know that we are each capable of and good at different things. He does what he's good at, and I do what I'm good at. Together, we make a very good team. I'm very fortunate to be married to him.

One of the good things that has happened for me as a result of being married to JtS is that he has helped me to work toward being able to earn money from home. That is something I am very eager to do. I have been working hard (within the context of my limitations) toward that goal. I hope to reach it in the not too distant future.

Raggytash, I'm a person with an opinion. Just like you.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 03:02 AM

Carol, you should look into spot foreign currency trading. You can go to www.fxcm.com, or google it - a lot of places now with free charts and data, and demo trading accounts. Try a demo - it's addictive.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 11:50 AM

Or you could hang a red light on your trailer.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 01:24 PM

Thanks SueB. I'll check into it.

Martin, coming from you, I take that as a compliment.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 02:56 PM

If you want to CarolC. business might be good!

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST,Ha!
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 08:05 PM

See, I knew there was sexual tension between MG and CC.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 11:52 PM

That's a strange obsession you have there, GUEST,10 Dec 04 - 08:05 PM.

And no, no sexual tension between us from my perspective. But I do sometimes get a good laugh out of some of the things I say to MG.

However, JtS is all the man I need.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 08:53 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 09:11 AM

If Martin got a chance to actually meet Carol, he might well experience at least a moment or two of sexual tension... :-)

Martin, ANY place I can think of fits what you said: "A good shrink could sure get a lot of clients here." Any place. Believe me.

In my case, I figured I wasn't actually mature enough to marry...and so I didn't. (I did try living with a few people along the way, though.) My parents certainly weren't mature enough to marry when they did, let me tell you! But they did anyway, and they are still together. He's 82 and she's 76 now. They have driven each other up the wall for 57 years! And yet, they are strangely codependent and will undoubtedly continue together till death does them part.

I decided I was not going to follow in their footsteps, and I do not regret that decision in the least. :-) I'll say this though, with all sincerity: I tremendously admire people who have achieved strong, lasting, stable, and loving marriages together...and I have seen a few such couples here and there. It takes a lot of maturity and a great capacity to give. Bravo for them!

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Once Famous
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:04 AM

Your parents are a blessing, LH.

Mine were married 59 years ago until I lost my dad 2 years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Hesperis getting divorced
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 05 - 11:58 AM

Oh, I know, Martin, I know. But it took a long time for me to realize that. I was at daggers drawn with my dad from about age 14 until just a couple of years ago.