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BS: Great phrases you know and use.
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: GUEST,ranger1(of the lost password) Date: 18 Dec 04 - 11:36 AM My step-dad is German and translated one directly for us. When someone is being a real grouch we always ask them "what kind of a louse is crawling across your liver?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Flash Company Date: 18 Dec 04 - 10:11 AM This morning on the way to town on our local bus proceeding over the collection of pot-holes that our local council laughingly call a road, we went over one particularly violent bump and my wife said 'Was it anyone we know?' An ex colleague at work dicovered an arabic curse which translates as 'May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits'. It used to come in very handy on a bad day! FC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Helen Date: 18 Dec 04 - 07:12 AM Bunnahabhain said: >>Clearly Nasa are more optimistic thean Helen The problem is I was quoting Huw, so it wasn't my saying. I wouldn't want to claim credit for something I didn't say. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: kindaloupehackenweez Date: 18 Dec 04 - 06:25 AM Horse sweat, men perspire, woman glow. Mom Beauty comes from within,. Mom See ya later......(repond)...Not if i see you first.? Whats good for the goose is good for the gander..?? Stay away from beer!!!!Its a gateway drug...Drew Carey Hay Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat..(u know) Quit your wineing, Your old enough to know better. Mom Its my Mom!!!(Mine) (Gets em going most of the time) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: belter Date: 17 Dec 04 - 03:46 PM Her shirt was so tight I could hardly breath. Garrison Keillor as Guy Nuir |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: beadie Date: 17 Dec 04 - 03:20 PM . . . To describe a person who is nearing retirement (or, in the vernacular, a person who is "short" referring to having but a short time left). He's so short, he can sit on a dime and dangle his feet. He's so short, he has to look up to see down. He's so short, he reaches up to tie his shoelaces. He's so short, he can get arrested for looking up a skirt without using a mirror. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: kindaloupehackenweez Date: 17 Dec 04 - 02:54 PM I may have been born in the morning, but i wasnt born this morning.?? He may not be the shiniest hammer in the bag.?? Dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.?? How can we be complete if were not alittle bit of everything.(mine) Your digging yourself a hole so deep you cant get out. Women need 3 things: Conversation, confussion, confidence...OH.and occassionally a new pair of shoes. Men need 3 things: Food, Sex, Silence. Chris Rock. (Comedy Central) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Metchosin Date: 17 Dec 04 - 01:47 PM for the obtuse, Has about as much sensitivity as a loaf of bread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: dwditty Date: 17 Dec 04 - 01:28 PM Nothing tastes better than fat.....except fat with salt on it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Swave N. Deboner Date: 17 Dec 04 - 12:51 PM She's so skinny, if she stood sideways and stuck out her tongue, she'd look like a zipper. (That's a zip, for all you UKers.) You're about as dumb as a bag of hair. I you had a brain, it'd be lonesome. You ain't got the brains God gave a duck! Yer aboot as thick as twa short planks. You are a lying sack of Siberian seal shit. Damn! The hurrieder I go, the behinder I git. Why don't you go take a long walk off a short pier? Six and twa threes. (Scots for six of one and and half a dozen of the other.) Cheerio the noo SND |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 17 Dec 04 - 10:41 AM Subject: White House announcement The White House, Washington) The President climbs out of his helicopter with a baby pig under each arm. His Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Nice pigs, sir." The President replies, "These are not pigs, corporal, these are authentic Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for Vice President Cheney, and I got one for Secretary Rumsfeld." The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and replies, "Nice trade, sir." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Flash Company Date: 17 Dec 04 - 10:26 AM He looks as if he's got a mouth full of wasps! (Said of John Prescott.) Never assume, it just makes an ass of you and me. (Favourite line of a guy I used to work with) This looks like a two pipe problem! (My old boss, taken from Sherlock Holmes.) This is about as productive as trying to weigh the cat! (Dennis Norden) FC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: GUEST,Larry K Date: 17 Dec 04 - 10:08 AM An open mind is not the same as a hole in the head |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: GUEST,ranger1(still can't remember my password) Date: 17 Dec 04 - 09:02 AM A common saying around these parts is "numb as a hake." Three my dad uses a lot are: 1. Doesn't know beans from a hole in the ground. 2. Doesn't know his ass from his elbow. 3. Number than a pounded thumb. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Donuel Date: 16 Dec 04 - 04:55 PM Dear what you get, satire on: In an effort to head off any actionable lawsuits of yours I have taken pre emptive action. I have just copyrighted the English language with a little inside help from the administration. They were amazed no one had thought of it before. While the ownership of the copyrite is divided between DARPA, NSA and other silent partners, my finders fee portion is still significant when you add up all the words you've published. AFTER RESEARCHING THE TOTALITY OF YOUR PUBLISHED WORKS I WILL BE SENDING YOU THE BILL. For example the quote: I dare say her cheese done slipped off her cracker. if copyrighted might cost .025 cents However if I enforce my copyright for everyone who ever wrote that I would stand to clear nearly 4 cents. But add up all the English words you have published and I might stand to make hundreds. Satire aside, Common sayings indeed belong to us all, thats why they're common. Yours are yours. Satire reinstated: Nothing spoils a good time more than lawyerfyin bout yer words but if there is one thing I have learned about an assumed copyright on the web is that it ain't worth the electrons its written on. I would have to consult with Dave Letterman about what is and what is not intellectual property. I am sincerely sorry if you thought I was going to make millions of dollars off of your catch phrases. If I do I will gladly buy you lunch on a slippery slope. satire off, I planned to post the illustrated versions I already made of some of the favourite and best sayings here, although they should still be protected under fair use, I hope you see them as a sincere gesture of giving and not taking. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: beadie Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:42 AM In reference to someone with limited common sense, . . . . We need to take up a collection to help this guy afford the latest remedial medical procedure, the optic abdominoplasty. That's where the surgeon removes a square flap of skin about ten inches wide by 6 inches vertical from the area immediately below the navel and replaces it with a piece of plexiglass. This allows the patient to see what he is doing with his head up his ass. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Donuel Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:28 AM Like I said the large print giveth and the small print taketh away ;( |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Bunnahabhain Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:27 AM thanks for picking me up on that one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM Some people WILL mind and even if it is only one, it's not OK to assume what might be OK with others. Lot of writers around here. Lot of threads where marketable writing occurs. Doing something like this in one thread sets a precedent, and I know several who will not go down that slippery slope and for good reason. Max has copyright on anything here not copyrighted by anyone else, and general consensus has been that we each own whatever we post. One MIGHT be able to make the case that posting such a notice at the start of each thread would be adequate, but certainly not in mid-thread, and certainly not as stated. In any event, it's not OK with me in this thread or anywhere. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Bunnahabhain Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:13 AM Careful if you do that. More than a few of these will make a book seem as mad as bag of cats. I'm sure nobody will mind. Also, good luck with the book. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:12 AM Donuel-- not mine, and not without specific permission. See PM. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Crystal Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:07 AM One I regularly hear my Boyfriend use; "I am unpleased" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Donuel Date: 16 Dec 04 - 10:04 AM NOTICE I am unabashedly stealing many of these phrases to punch up the dialog in a novel I am writing entitled 'Best Intentions'. The large print giveth and small print taketh away. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Bunnahabhain Date: 16 Dec 04 - 09:00 AM I've never got caught yet |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Gervase Date: 16 Dec 04 - 07:07 AM Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age - James Joyce I feel unusual - Withnail and I It was like that when I found it - Me, at all ages! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Paco Rabanne Date: 16 Dec 04 - 06:00 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Crystal Date: 16 Dec 04 - 04:42 AM Lots of things make sence at IVFDF! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Bunnahabhain Date: 16 Dec 04 - 03:03 AM From Nasa: Faster, cheaper, better; Pick two. >>Clearly Nasa are more optimistic thean Helen In response to 'what's in that thing you made ?' "You know, the obvious. Stuff, things, ermm cookery?" Of course you boyfriend won't find out... It made sense at IVFDF! (Inter-varsity folk dance festival, UK) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: GUEST,beardedbruce Date: 16 Dec 04 - 03:01 AM "Cheaper, Faster, Better (Pick two)" (Unofficial) Motto of the DSPSE program "Everything in Excess- Moderation is for Monks" _ RAHeinlein Matthew 24:23, to get rid of annoying religious folks and of course- "If Jesus died for my sins, he overeacted." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 16 Dec 04 - 01:03 AM My father's (on something that is useless): It's not worth the full of your arse of roasted snow. On something that wasn't even close: It wasn't within a beagle's gowl of it. Mine (to a heckler) Ok, who just got a delivery from Assholes "R" Us? To a heckler: This is my job and how I make a living to support my family. When you're doing your job, do I follow you into the men's room and kick your kneepads out from under you? To a heckler: Six million sperm, and YOU'RE the one that got through? Seamus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Dec 04 - 11:39 PM "Spaw did it." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Helen Date: 15 Dec 04 - 11:34 PM Act your age and not your shoe size. Cluin, I like the proctologist one, and Huw I like this one a lot: "On time. Efficient. Works. Choose one." Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 15 Dec 04 - 11:20 PM In response to the remark, "If you say that again I'll smack you", I often reply, "Gee, I usually have to pay for that." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Cluin Date: 15 Dec 04 - 11:18 PM Keep your hands and head inside at all times. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 15 Dec 04 - 11:15 PM Measure twice; cut once. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: HuwG Date: 15 Dec 04 - 09:23 PM A couple which I often used at work: "On time. Efficient. Works. Choose one." "Measure with micrometer. Mark with paintbrush. Cut with axe." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Dec 04 - 08:24 PM The cheese has left the cracker. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 15 Dec 04 - 08:16 PM a taco short of a combination plate |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: GUEST,Art Thieme Date: 15 Dec 04 - 07:41 PM a few straws short of a bale art |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 15 Dec 04 - 07:38 PM LOL I have never hear that one before. Love it. LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Cluin Date: 15 Dec 04 - 07:20 PM Your proctologist called. He found your head. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:50 PM "Poor you-- build a bridge, and get over it." [with thumb circling around top of lightly clenched fist] "Hear this? It's the world's smallest violin, on the world's smallest record, playing on the world's smallest record player, and it's playing [insert title of victimy song] just for you. And that's how much I care." ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Georgiansilver Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:29 PM One sandwich short of a picnic? One tile short of a roof, Queer as a clockwork orange, Like a fart in a thunderstorm. Like a pea on a drum, Many more! Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:26 PM Well, I will. Give me a bit and I'll get back. It's a long story that should be shortened and I need to keep names and places out of it. One of those tragic but true/funny but not things. I will, but tonight maybe. Thanks, Don. PS It's hard to hide what an ass I was, so I have to see if the--ah, heck, people know I'm an ass anyway, so I''ll forget the spin and write it. Good story now. It wasn't then. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Don Firth Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:22 PM I think there's one helluva story there, brucie, but curious as I am, I won't pry. But -- if you'd care to elucidate. . . ? Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Peace Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:16 PM Don F, Yeah. Wasn't my wife (for the record) but she was too mad to consider anything like that. I really never HAVE seen anyone so ___________ in my life. I wish it had been filmed. I'm not making light of my transgression, but it was a thing of terrible beauty. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: GUEST,ranger1(who has forgotten her password) Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:12 PM Two of my favorites are: 1. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. 2. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. Another one I like was said by my physics teacher when he caught one guy giving another guy the finger: Is that your IQ or your sperm count? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Georgiansilver Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:11 PM Get lost you stupid git! Nice but not too nice eh?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: Bill D Date: 15 Dec 04 - 05:09 PM "Can a metaphysican be sued for malpractice?" (men's room at Methodist Student Union, Univ. of Kansas..1970) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use. From: belter Date: 15 Dec 04 - 03:32 PM I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomies. What is your major malfunction? DI from "Full Metal Jacket" But at least I'm not bitter, and that is so important. A friend says his ex is the wean b* of the universe. Another guy said, "And boy was my ex piss that she lost the job." When booze is spilled. Alcohol abuse. |
