BS: Chicken on a String?

Subject: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,Clucker
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 09:24 PM

.... RSPCA's farmyard response unit have uncovered what they believe to be the first case of "Chicken Stringing" in the UK. Part time farm worker Giles Andrews described to the court how he had fed a string to a chicken, waited for it to pass through its digestive system and then fed that to a subsequent chicken. By the time he was apprehended there were six chickens attached to the length of string. Andrews claimed he was preparing for a historical re-enactment where rival villages would compete for the highest number of chickens on a string. Found guilty of animal cruelty Andrews asked for three cases of inflating a chicken with a bicycle pump to be taken into consideration. Sentencing was deferred pending medical reports.....

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 10:07 PM

Gi-les Andrews had a string, Eee-I-eee-I-O......

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 04:01 AM

Hmmm.... pictoral evidence might be a little more convincing, but hey, let's face it, there are worse things to do with a chicken......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,El Gato
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 04:15 AM

Due to supplementing their diet of poor defenceless birds and mammals domestic cats tend to suffer from worms, here is my favourite method of dealing with them.
Get a piece of string about 10' long and tie a knot in it every 9", tie one end to a post about 3' off the ground, and tie a sardine on the other end. Feed this sardine to the cat and wait for nature to take its course. When the end of the string appears put on your rubber gloves, and grabbing this end quickly tie it to another post at the same height of 3'. By this time the cat should be clear of the ground and somewhat puzzled. You then grab the cat and run it it up and down the string for about 10 minutes, this should effectively rid your cat of worms!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,Liz the Squeak - cat owned.....
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 04:20 AM

El Gato - two problems...

1. How do you do it with multiple cats?

2. How do you catch the second cat once the first has ripped your hand off?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,El Gato
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 05:00 AM

You anaesthetise the first cat with a 3lb hammer, [just say "Here kitty time for your iron injection"] then grab another sardine from the tin for the next cat. It may be necessary to substitute leather gauntlets for the rubber gloves in this instance!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 08:02 AM

Or you could just give the poor creature a worming tablet. Although, that's easier said than done...

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,El Gato
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 08:20 AM

Not nearly so much fun either!!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 08:39 AM

True :)Personally, i've always been rather patial to feline inflicted lacerations...

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 08:51 AM

Oh, fer goodness sake! I thought this was going to be a recipe thread. Or maybe a game like biting apples tied to a string fastened to the ceiling (can't use your hands). Instead it's just a description of the way that Idahoans (never say "Idahoers"!) tether chickens during roundup.

And chicken roundup in Idaho is a wonderful time! The vast herds, the chickenboys cutting capons, the stampedes, the horses, the smell of burning feathers around the branding fire...ah, the memories!

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 09:06 AM

Weekday morning after drinkin' gin,
Hey yo, chicken on a string!
I'm up to six and I'm gonna win!
Hey yo, chicken on a string!
Got another 12 to add to the chain!
Hey yo, chicken on a string!
But only if the cops don't catch me again!
Hey yo, chicken on a string!

Chickens on a string on a Monday morning,
Oh, what a wonderful sight to see,
In one end then out the aft!,
Sittin' there a'lookin' at a chicken on a string!
Hi, ho, chicken on a string!
Hey, ho, chicken on a string!
Hi, ho, chicken on a string!
Hey, ho, chicken on a string!

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 01:25 PM

Skippers in the wardroom tying knots
Hi ho pussy on a string
It's the best thick hairy string he's got
Hi ho pussy on a string

Pussy on a string on a Monday morning
Oh what a terrible sight to see
One knot forward and ten knots aft
Puss cat reaming is a dying craft
Hi ho pussy on a string

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 01:41 PM

herd of Elephants...1 mile of 2" hemp hawser...

rent 'em for building demolition

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 04:11 PM

WALL STREET JOURNAL
JUNE 28, 2005

He Makes Slaughter DevicesTo Kill Birds Efficiently;
Driven by Dad's Death

As a 5-year-old on his family's farm in the Netherlands, Harm Kiezebrink wondered why his father instructed him to drown newly hatched male chicks in a large plastic drum inside the hatchery.

The answer: male chicks are slaughtered because they won't be able to lay eggs and because they will be too scrawny for meat.

Mr. Kiezebrink grew up to become an expert in this unusual field. Today, his family company sells killed chicks to zoos and falconers. And it has developed technology for efficiently killing birds.

Now he is also taking his skills to some places that need them urgently: Asian nations fighting bird flu. He has brought them some of his bird-slaughtering machines, such as the AED-100, which kills about 10,000 birds per hour, catching them by the feet and dragging their heads through an electrified pool of water.

Subject: RE: BS: Chicken on a String?
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 04:15 PM

soap on a rope
now chicken on a string

How about Popes on a rope?