BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!

Subject: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 08:50 PM

It's awful. Just terrible. It's worse than Shatnerization. It's worse than cooties. It's just so, sooo nasty!

Read about it in this excerpt from the Necronomicon, courtesy of the H.P. Lovecraft Foundation which has preserved a copy of this forbidden text...a copy available for perusal only to a chosen few.

"His battered corpse had completely qwuaified, due to the hideous effects of the corroding green slime spray of the inchoate, formless monsters that had risen unexpectedly from the nethermost pits of Thoth and brought about his final, cluminating, and most dreadful end!"   (from the Necronomicon, Chapter 6,666, Verse 782) - Abdul Alhazred, the Mad Arab

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 08:52 PM

I think that should be "culminating", not "cluminating". Probably a misprint. But...perhaps not. You never know with this sort of thing.   (shudder!) I shall not sleep well tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Peace
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 08:55 PM

And this from a guy who don't smake grass. You friggin' amaze me.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:02 PM

I never could see the point in smaking grass.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:08 PM

Sharma's consciousness was still encoated in the trunk of the tall, interwoven weed of a swamp tree, that rose ebiulliently from the depths of the swamp pit of Thoth. As a tree dryad, the breath of the fuzzing air that arose through the putrifying slooze ebbed and flowed through her tentacle-weeded arms. Sharma could feel his presence abating, as his being ebbed and flowed through the night mists of Thoth.

(from the Necronomicon, Chapter 6,666, Verse 784) - Abdul Alhazred, the Mad Arab

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:11 PM

The darkness is creeping in around my dwelling. Strange, furtive sounds seem to echo somewhere at the vague edges of the night where hearing drifts into lurid ghostly vestiges of a haunted imagination. Somewhere in the distance soft, sibilant footpads trespass upon the vacant borders of these nameless lands. Footpads that stalk an unnamed prey...and speak of a foul and horrific purpose!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:14 PM

Alas, freda! You and I may have ventured to read what none should ever dare to. Such is the price of human curiosity and vanity!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: frogprince
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:17 PM

And somewhere, in the darkness, I hear the distant sound of a toilet flushing...

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:17 PM

to open the black pages is to allow the entry of that dark, terrifying shadow - better to have never known - ignorance is peace, knowingness is to live with an everlasting fear, to know the evil is always poised, on stilettos!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 09:50 PM

Bull pooties.

I have a copy of the Necronomicon right here. I got it in a small shop in Arkham, Massachusettes. It's stamped right on the back, "Property of the Yog Sothof Memorial Library. Bound pellagra humanorum by Chthulu Bindery -- 'Chthulu: Bound To Be A Better Binding'."

It's just a book -- why would you think otherwise? And a library discard at that.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 10:20 PM

Yes, but...have you read it???

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 21 Oct 05 - 10:32 PM

Qwuaification used to worry me when I was a young cadet in Starfleet. I was afraid that I would become qwuaified in the course of duty, and fail my ship and my fellow crewmates. I used to lose sleep over it. A mere 15 years later I had risen to command of a starship. I had faced mortal combat with lizard men, battled Klingons, and locked lips with green-skinned girls. Now nothing qwuaifies me. Nothing. I am beyond qwuaification. You can probably manage this too. After all, I did it. All you really need is steely determination, a strong sex drive, and an unremitting desire to go boldly where no man has gone before. Or woman... I certainly wouldn't want to be accused of being "sexist" in these enlightened times. Not me. No sir.

Qwuaification? Ha! I laugh in the face of qwuaification.

- William Shatner

p.s. Tune in to "Boston Legal" and see some great acting!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 02:49 AM

Put your pants back on.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 03:50 AM

I think you guys are making this up...

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: mack/misophist
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 08:58 AM

It's sad to see how many bogus copies of the old Necronomicon there are around. It's only available in Latin or Arabic, you chittering fools!!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 09:13 AM

Actually, my copy is written in some sort of eldritch script that's neither Latin nor Arabic. The book is clearly stamped on the title page that it was withdrawn from the Yog-Sothoth Memorial Library in Kadath.

The reason given for the withdrawal is "No circulation for 6,000 years" but geez, that's gotta be wrong. Six years, maybe.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:20 AM

*heading down to the catacombs for my copies of Octave Mirabeau and various Dr. Suess.....gonna blend 'em*

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: GUEST,Yog Sothoth
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:33 AM

You are all doomed. Utterly doomed. This is going to be such fun. Ummmm....I quiver with anticipation!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:33 AM

LH needs a date, again.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: GUEST,the pedant
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:53 AM

You should not have put a comma after "again".

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 11:59 AM

Is that an offer? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 05:30 PM

Come to think of it, I had at qwuaify on the rifle range in the Army. And I've qwuaified in several other areas since then. Some qwuaificationings were pretty horrible.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 12:13 AM

Qwuaification is possibly the only thing worse than having a big wad of bubble gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe, but it kinda depends on how expensive the shoes are.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:11 PM

And the horror goes on!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:14 PM

And, no, I do not need a date. Unless it's a honey date. Or Winona...which is the same thing.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:25 PM

Then you two can go on a shoplifting spree.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: GUEST,Abdul El Hazard
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:33 PM

From my book ' The Boys Book Of Common Sense ' chapter 6.666.666.66 verse 785 ' don't eat yellow snow '

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: bobad
Date: 04 Dec 06 - 10:39 PM

That snow ain't yellow.....it's chicken.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 12:58 AM

Amazing how Dylan applies to everything, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 02:44 AM

And Zappa.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 06:04 AM

Gotta be something about curly hair.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: eddie1
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:27 AM

I was enjoying reading this thread but suddenly all these frogs started coming into the house. In December?
Now I'm hearing noises in the attic. Must go and ivestigate - be back soon.......................................

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:34 AM

Anybody heard from eddie1 lately?

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 08:07 AM

Neoconmicon ... How I misread the title of the text at the top. Do you think it means anything?

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 12:05 PM

Dyslexia?

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 12:15 PM

I suffered the horrors of quiffication as a young boy. Right after my first trip to the barber. It was my dad's haircut-of-choice for me.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 05:21 PM

Subject: RE: ORIGINAL thread name game thread, with rules
From: The Shambles - PM
Date: 22 Oct 05 - 05:42 AM

The horrors of qwuaification!!!   
England through to World Cup 2006

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 06:10 PM

With regard to an alternate meaning for the word "quiff" around here, I had an experience of being quifficated one night that I will remember with a smile and a drop or two of drool in my dotage.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 06:21 PM

It's not "quiffication", Cluin, it's "qwuaification". That's a whole different ballgame.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 06:24 PM

I preferred the ball game when I was being quifficated.

Oh Mama!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 06 - 06:57 PM

Screw the qwuaification! Its the clumination I'm worried about!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 12:38 AM

Refresh!

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: michaelr
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 02:00 AM

Are you qwuaified to refresh this thread?

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 03:15 AM

"...soft, sibilant footpads trespass..."
All these years I have been processing my brain's thought processes, wondering how a footpad can be sibilant.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 05:04 AM

Squeaky shoes ?

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 11:09 AM

"Fearless Fred, the footpad dread,
Set fire to his momma's bed."

Pogo-1954

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 11:17 AM

Querulous quantifications, quizzically qwuaified, quixotically qualify quiescent quondam quietude.

Subject: RE: BS: The horrors of qwuaification!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 02:08 PM

You can say that again!

But please don't.