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BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile
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Subject: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,One in the know Date: 05 Jul 06 - 08:49 PM Hans-Adam II, the Mad Monarch of the imprisoned land known as Liechtenstein, has done it again! Today Liechtenstein defied the world and launched their new Doppelganger VI missile, a deadly weapon capable of carrying a small nuclear bomb. The Doppelganger VI has a range of 3 miles when armed with a nuclear weapon. This means that it is exceedingly dangerous to anyone living in very close proximity to Liechtenstein. It is a clear attempt by Hans-Adam to do one or more of several things: 1. terrorize the entire world 2. terrorize the Swiss town of Buchs 3. terrorize the Austrian town of Feldkirch 4. blackmail the EU into funding the building of a new soccer arena in Liechtenstein 5. annoy the hell out of George Bush 6. make Kim Jong-Il realllly jealous (the Doppelganger VI performed flawlessly, flying exactly 3 miles before touching down right on target in a cow pasture that had been cleared of its livestock to receive the descending missile) "The Doppelganger VI constitutes a real and present danger toward world peace," said a grim-faced President George Bush. "We will not stand by and allow the world to be blackmailed by this little pissant rogue state, Licked--In-Styne. We are looking at all possible contingencies to disarm Licked-En-Steen and make sure that the Licked-In-Steenians...or whatever the hell they call themselves...are SET FREE from the rule of this madman, Hans-Adam." Europeans will rest uneasy tonight, with the shadow of the Doppelganger VI looming large in everyone's minds. Stay tuned for further reports on the crisis... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST Date: 05 Jul 06 - 08:55 PM Talk about yer misrepresentation. The missile test was actually a multichoice questionnaire. I obtained a copy from #$@&%*($%@. The President of the United States of America is a) George Bush b) in deep shit c) stupider than yer average rock d) all of the above The Doppelganger VI lookalike who wrote the exam chose answer d. Therefore, Europe tonight can rest easy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jul 06 - 08:56 PM LOL!!! By God, that's a relief, isn't it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST Date: 05 Jul 06 - 08:58 PM That's all we need. Leichtenstein, Korea AND Iran teaming up together. What next? Andorra? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Mingulay at work Date: 06 Jul 06 - 11:55 AM "RUTLAND LAUNCHES ROCK" It was announced today the Rutland is to launch a rock (small pebble) from the shores of Rutland Water at 12:00 hrs tomorrow. Splashdown is expected some 3 seconds later approximately 25 metres from the launch site. Officials say that it is their reply to global armament, but that they borrowed the catapult from a local schoolboy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: redsnapper Date: 06 Jul 06 - 12:28 PM Also in the news today.... Vatican launches new missal. The "John Paul". Capable of causing a nasty bump on the head when launched accurately over 10 metres. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 06 - 01:52 PM Heh! Omigod, things just keep getting worse! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Kaleea Date: 06 Jul 06 - 01:53 PM Wow, if I could just remember where I put that old glass pop bottle, maybe I could launch the new rocket I've been saving for just such an occasion. oops! now we're in trouble. momentarily forgot that big brother is reading everything on the internet these days. now they'll be coming to take me away ha ha ho ho hee hee! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Date: 06 Jul 06 - 03:05 PM Liechtenstein simply is learning from the tale of The Dutchy of Grand Fenwick. Look for the U.N. to offer Liechtenstein a permanent place on the security council soon. I hope they don't reveal it all done with rubber bands) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Naemanson Date: 06 Jul 06 - 04:11 PM LOL! This is great! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 06 - 05:10 PM Don't underestimate the size of their hidden explosive pastry stockpiles, Bill... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:19 PM oh, I surely shan't, Little Hawk.... uh...you mean the chocolate/hydrogen éclairs? Remember what they did when a dozen over-filled ones got loose and floated over Bosnia! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: skipy Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:25 PM Local new:- Witney is trying to raise funds to design a trebuchet that could hurl a dustbin at Burford! Skipy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:26 PM Laugh and scoff while ye may. They have this, yes. BUT, it's mobile now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:29 PM And this! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:36 PM Typical Liechtensteiner perfidy! They are not above using the young and naive to forward their treacherous plans of world conquest. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:45 PM Secret agent checking for lost missiles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 06 - 07:47 PM Where the hell do you find all these pictures??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 06 Jul 06 - 11:40 PM On the computer. They're just there. I don't know where they come from or how they GET there, but there they are. If you go to the Google page, just type a search term in. For example, I will do so with the word breasts . I first type missles, then click the blue thing above the box entitled Images. Then to the right on the new screen will be a place to click Search Images. That will then search for missiles. Lots of pics. Sometimes it's a hoot to type weird stuff in there and see what comes up. For example, I will try the term Bob Dylan. Naw. You try it. You will be taken to a page of fairly small images--about 20 per page. Click on the image and it will get larger. Look around. I appreciate that you have a strange sense of humour, so I shall stop there. However, see what happens when ya type in ears. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 06 Jul 06 - 11:41 PM Ten to one he types in breasts. No need to post links. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 06 Jul 06 - 11:53 PM Like, just for the heck of it, I type in the word ouch. This is one of the pics from that page. Neat, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Mingulay at work Date: 07 Jul 06 - 08:32 AM "RUTLAND ROCK LAUNCH DISRUPTED" From our science and jumble sale correspondent. Officialdom stepped in today in the shape of Anglian Water to halt the planned launch of a rock into the depths of a local lake. A spokesperson for the authority told the Stamford & Rutland Mercury that it was strictly against the byelaws to hurl foreign objects willy nilly into the water without prior permission and submitting a full Risk Assessment and Method Statement. Besides which the rock may fall on and injure a passing trout thus depriving the AWA of much needed revenue from fishermen. The spokesperson added that water quality and the actual supply of the same were of secondary importance in this issue. A man is due to appear in Court on Wednesday week to answer charges regarding the malicious dropping of a boiled sweet wrapper. It is not thought that the two incidents are connected. A recent spate of bicycle thefts are thought to be the work of a London gang...................... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Cool Beans Date: 07 Jul 06 - 09:07 AM Roy? He should stick to his painting. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jul 06 - 09:13 AM Not to mention the up and coming young missile designer ansd scion of a well known Mudcat family who learned to make chocolate mousse filled party poppers to terrorise the world, and South Wales! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Charley Noble Date: 07 Jul 06 - 09:30 AM As I recall from our visits to Oz, "rockets" were a regular offering on the breakfast menu. There was some combination of "rockets" and "bashers" but maybe it was "bockets" and "rashers." Life is so surreal downunder! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario Date: 07 Jul 06 - 09:36 AM Liechtenstein, UN, at Oddsthe UN Security council met today in emergency session to pass a resulution blocking delivery of Mentos mints and Diet Coke to Liechtenstein or agents of that country. According to D.Emmit Ahle, press secretary for the Security Council, these are the primary materials neccessary for the Liechtenstein missile program. The council is expected to pass further resulutions detailing sanctions for those defying the sale of these items. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 06 - 09:36 AM How about "bangers and mash"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 06 - 09:52 AM Yes, Diet Coke can be used to generate massive thrust to propel a missile. Very nasty stuff. It should be banned entirely. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Mingulay at work Date: 07 Jul 06 - 11:05 AM Little Hawk - would you see me out of a job? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 06 - 11:16 AM Well, Mingulay...if your job constitutes a dire threat to world peace...then, I guess...yeah. Why don't you go for a career change? I understand there is a real shortage of muskox sexers in the Yukon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 07 Jul 06 - 03:39 PM Bangers and mash: Its use will be outlawed by the Geneva Convention. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario Date: 07 Jul 06 - 03:47 PM One can see why, given that photograph! So, Mingulay - do you work for the big 'C' - or in the Liechtenstien Missile program? Or possibly you are a dentist? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Charley Noble Date: 07 Jul 06 - 05:04 PM I'm still puzzling over my memories of "Rockets" for breakfast in Australia. Here's a place in Brisbane that's part of the Johnny Rockets chain: Click at Your Own Risk! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 08 Jul 06 - 01:40 AM HOLY SH#T. If they have these, we may as well surrender NOW. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Date: 08 Jul 06 - 01:45 AM Never mind yer .357; look out for the.302; don't mess with 'em. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jul 06 - 09:56 AM Typical Liechtensteiner firepower! They're a deadly bunch, no doubt about it. I'm glad I don't live in Buchs or Feldkirch. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Lanfranc Date: 08 Jul 06 - 06:27 PM Plot Summary for The Mouse That Roared (1959) The Duchy of Grand Fenwick decides that the only way to get out of their economic woes is to declare war on the United States, lose and accept foreign aid. Peter Sellers, as the scheming Prime Minister of Grand Fenwick, plots with Peter Sellers, as the scheming Grand Duchess, to declare war on the USA, lose and get that foreign aid. Unfortunately, they forget to tell Peter Sellers, as Tully Bascombe, commander of their mediaeval army.They send an invasion force to New York (armed with longbows) which arrives during a nuclear drill that has cleared the streets. Wandering about to find someone to surrender to, they discover a scientist with a special ultimate weapon that can destroy the Earth. When they capture him and his bomb they are faced with a new possibility: What do you do when you win a war you meant to lose? The best laid plans of mice and men ... Life imitating art? Or history repeating itself? Enough to make me watch the film again! Alan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Charley Noble Date: 09 Jul 06 - 12:03 PM I'm really impressed with the firepower that Peace has dug up images of. Truly terrifying! My Oz informants tell me that my memories of "rockets" for breakfast were off-base. However, they are a key ingredient in some gourmet salads. So beware, and take care! Check out the Badde Manors Menue here as an example: Click at Your Own Risk! Now back to our normal programing. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jul 06 - 09:16 PM Note that the subject of Liechtenstein has not even been mentioned publically at the G8 meetings! This tells you just how serious a crisis it is, and how deeply feared is the response of the mad Hans-Adam regime to any open criticism. World leaders don't dare to mention the crisis openly, for fear of causing mass panic. You can be sure, though, that there are frantic consultations occurring behind the scenes, and George Bush has probably already remarked to Tony Blair that "Liechtenstein is a small country...but a very dangerous one.") |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Date: 22 Jul 06 - 09:30 PM How small IS Liechtenstein? well, the sign on the railway station extends into Switzerland. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: leeneia Date: 23 Jul 06 - 03:41 PM Joke all you want, but if something goes wrong and the missile explodes on the launcher, there won't be any Liechtenstein left to defend. Peace - love the lipstick mailbox. I mean ICBM. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Jul 06 - 04:25 PM That's why the Liechtensteiners are so efficient and deadly. They can't afford to make a single mistake. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 24 Jul 06 - 03:16 PM Reuters 24 July 2006. Liechtenstein destroyed at noon today. Details are sparse, but the sole survivor, a border guard who had just popped out to Switzerland to buy an army knife, stated that on his return, his country was no longer there. In an exclusive interview he said "I was minding me own business when this lump of rock come flying out of nowhere. Nearly took me 'ead orf. Then I saw what was left of Liechtenstein; bleedin' 'orrible it were". Asked to describe the rock, he replied "It was pink, and it 'ad the letters R U T L A N D printed right through it. What's all that abaht then?" UN delegates are examining the possibility of establishing a new homeland on the devastated land, to be known as New Israel. The Palestinian delegate commented "Ah well, it's an ill wind.....". Plans are in train for the evacuation of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. Representatives of the three states said that they could not take chances with the lives of their citizens. Don T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Paul from Hull Date: 25 Jul 06 - 10:04 AM See, dont underestimate catapults, pebbles & lakes.... the result of one such train of events... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario Date: 25 Jul 06 - 10:08 AM no one who read 'Dr. Doolittle and the Secret Lake' ever would. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Date: 25 Jul 06 - 10:18 AM "Plans are in train for the evacuation of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland." And France is studying plans to rebuild the Maginot Line and extend it around the entire country. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Paul from Hull Date: 25 Jul 06 - 10:58 AM Round the ENTIRE country? Well, good for them....not that I care whether or not they are well-defended, its just nice to have the French acknowledge a previous mistake for once...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Date: 25 Jul 06 - 11:36 AM Mistake? Just look at the wine cellars it left after the war! (France has been watching the USA/Mexico border situation....evacuating Germany and Austria shakes them to the core.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Hans-Adam II Date: 25 Jul 06 - 01:30 PM There is no truth to the rumour that Liechtenstein has been destroyed. To the contrary, we stand ready to defend our homeland at a moment's notice against any and all comers. Let no one be under the illusion that Liechenstein is weak or ill-prepared. We are well-armed, filled with resolve, and determined to prevail in any test of national will. If anyone attempts to interfere in the internal affairs of Liechtenstein we will respond immediately with crushing force! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario Date: 25 Jul 06 - 01:31 PM That's funny - I heard Michael Jackson had bought your entire nation. He plans to make it an amuesement park. |
