BS: Unintentional Sacrilege

Subject: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:39 AM

My neighbors were a little late in getting their Christmas lights up. And in the hurry I believe thay didn't realize what they had done. From two houses down and across the street, I see a huge crucified snowman. This sighting was confirmed by Tami who kep[t begging me to close the blinds and a call the police to report a cross burning.
Yesterday, TRUBRIT stopped by to see the final product. Two strings of lights extending from the vertical bar to a hedge create the impression of a crucified snowman with an erection.
Children live in this home so of course all the strings blink but not in any rational sequence. I fear an epileptic seizure every time I walk out my front door.
What is the etiquette in this situation? Do I just sneak down and unplug the abomination? Do I carry on the theme and try to create an Easter scene with a rolling stone and emerging figure?
Anyone have a similar problem?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:44 AM

Snap a picture from the right perspective and mail it to them....

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:54 AM

The crucified, burning snowman was just their wicked, lurid and sin-filled imagination at work. Funny you were the only one who noticed the erection part, SINS.

:>D

love,

A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Wesley S
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:56 AM

Hang a banjo on the snowman?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:03 AM

Sounds like an indignant letter to the local press is needed.. The psuedonym 'Mrs Trellis' is usually a good one to use! But please, take a picture first!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:09 AM

Please, please take a picture!!!!
(This could only happen to SINSULL)

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 11:43 AM

Definately take a picture - And E mail it to all of us !!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 12:05 PM

No Amos - Tami and TRUBRIT pointed it out to me. I was too dazzled by the flashings to notice.
SINS who loves shiny things.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 12:42 PM

Hmmmm...shiny things with erections? R2D2? Maybe we need to change your Getaway theme for next year. Yippee ki-yi-clunk-whirrrr-beep!....






A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 02:51 PM

A snowman is a sacrilege? Frosty melted for your sins!

(Hmmm...that first read "Frosty melted for your sings!" Maybe my finger know something I don't.)

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: GUEST,Stiffy the Snowman
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 02:56 PM

Hey, Sins.... Frosty may melt for you but I ain't that gullible.

Stiffy.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:06 PM

Innit kinda their own business?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: MMario
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 03:07 PM

Tami and Deborah have definately been hanging around with the terrible twosome for too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:01 PM

I was too dazzled by the flashings to notice

But flashing is a traditional way to exhibit an erection!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:20 PM

Thank you, Uncle Dave. I thought no one would get it.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: curmudgeon
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 05:32 PM

Being a curmudgeon, I am not given to laughing out loud, but I'm very happy that I read this thread before I poured my post work whisky.

Please, Mary, don't do anything to upset this display before New Year's Eve. I really want to see it with mine own eyes -- Tom

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 06:24 PM

Sinsull, you feed me the straight lines, and I'll try to rise to the occasion (pun intended).

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: kendall
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 07:45 PM

How did they make a snow man? We haven't had enough snow to make a snow ball.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 07:50 PM

Come on over Kendall and verify my story. Bring a camera. I lost mine at the Getaway.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 08:03 PM

I'm wondering if any true Mainiacs have seen this abominable snowman, or if it's just you Brits and New Yorkers who have these apparitions. Kendall certainly seems to be a sane and sober nonbeliever.

I tell ya, I'm sure Maine hasn't been the same since SINSULL arrived. Merry Christmas, you crazy people!

-Joe-

P.S. Contact Charlie Baum or Rita Ferrara about the camera. I think I recall that one was found.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Dec 06 - 10:44 PM

I'll be over with the camera tomorrow - I saw the snowman tonight and they're right.

Our Ranger1 is a true Maniac and she was one of the first to notice the phenomenom.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:06 AM

Absolutely -- Ranger 1 saw it first -- could her mind have been in the gutter....? But I saw it second. It really is nasty........lights, Kendall, Lights -- not snow. Mmario - you are right -- hanging with this group is bad for me. I believe it was Joe Offa or Amos who said I was the only sane one in the Maine contingent at the Getaway - I think such a compliment is out of my reach for next year. But I kid you not - a snowman (in lights) with a giant erection.......; I stand by what I saw and I know Ranger one and Jacquie will do the same -- and now Mary has seen it - she will endorse us!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:53 AM

POST UP A BLEEPING PHOTO!!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: bfdk
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 05:41 AM

Yes, we want photographic evidence :o))

Seems to me that it's the girls who are all saying "united we stand", whereas Kendall won't stand for any of it.. :-)

Bente

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:16 AM

Sorry, I thought being a fruitloop was a constitutional right and a prerequisite for being accepted into Maine as a citizen?!

That's why Jacqui fitted in so well.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 06:27 AM

Alright, I'm in the cellar with Kendall.. I know my place....

Hey Kendall... do your impression of a snowman for me?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM

Gotta see a picture!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 09:18 AM

Picture! Picture!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:01 AM

I don't get it. Paw ignites a fart and burns Jerry Falwell into Spaw's garage and no one blinks an eye. I see and others corroborate a similar phenomenon and we get mocked. Kendall! Get out of the cellar and over here!
I am not sure why these people believe the word of a man who has never told the truth in his life (at least not professionally) but...

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: bfdk
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:46 AM

Now, let's look back a bit to that much-fated day
When young Tami looked out of the window, cried "Hey!"
There's a snowman out yonder, he's flashing quite proudly
I do beg you pardon, but she said it quite loudly
Aghast and dismayed and beset by emotion
The landlady raced to behold the commotion
She took a quick peek through the blinds and declared
That the Near-Headless Jesus this sight must be spared
So, the terrible twosome departed in haste
To his rescue, alas, but it all was a waste
He'd seen it and was by the flashing bemused
Then he gathered his wits crying "We're not amused!"
Now, to spare him distress, well, it's only my guess
Could have been that they wanted to give him redress
They twittered and tittered, did ponder and scheme
Till finally Jacqui came up with a theme
Come on, girls, come on, let's take matters in hand
We've done it before, sure, we know that we can
So they sped 'cross the street and bedecked him with tinsel
Never one to give in, the illustrious Sinsull

I'll get me coat..

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 10:55 AM

Are we safe in assuming these ladies know what the subject phenomenon actually looks like? Maybe its not failing eyesight, but a memory problem?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Becca72
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM

I think I just might swing down Mary's street on my home some evening this week....

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Maryrrf
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:38 AM

Will someone please, please post a picture of this Snowman????!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:52 AM

Nothing like rumours of flashy snowman cack to get the folks worked up.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:55 AM

Amos - I'm married to Kendall. Trust me - no failing memory there!

Bente - you are brilliant!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Tinker
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:56 AM

Amos are you volunteering to refresh memories ???

The Captain will be on their side for this one.

Be Ware

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: curmudgeon
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:57 AM

Patience, folks. If the lights are what makes this display so "meaningful" we must wait until dark for the photographer to take the shot.

By the way, Mary, I don't think that anyone was mocking you, but this really seems to be a "must see" event -- Tom

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:04 PM

Maybe we ought to have a Saturday song circle at Mary's just to view the scene!








Then again, Mary will probably never forgive me for making the suggestion, so........ I'll get me coat!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:18 PM

It's hard on a snowman
When he starts to feel the heat
When the fires of desire
Start to puddle up his feet
And when he's in his top-most form,
The height of frozen fashion,
He falls below the snowman norm
When melted down by passion!!

Oh it's hard time, hard times, hard
For the snowman in the snowy yard,
Who yearns to be a Don Juan bold
But can't because it's too damn cold,
Hard, boys, hard!

Now icicles are very hard,
As long as they are freezing
But the ladies shun the snowy yard
For they say that it's not pleasing
And when desire starts to burn
Or when the day turns sunny,
The rampant snowman starts to turn
And his manhood gets all runny!

Oh it's hard time, hard times, hard
For the snowman in the snowy yard,
Who yearns to be a Don Juan bold
But can't because it's too damn cold,
Hard, boys, hard!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:48 PM

What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snow balls!

Bada-bing bada-boom!

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 12:57 PM

Five Our Fathers and Five Hail Marys, Seamus!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:05 PM

By the way, there is no natural snow in Maine right now. We have set record high temperatures twice this month and the ski lodges can't even make artificial snow. Electric snowmen appear to be the only option.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:20 PM

Is it dark yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Becca72
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 01:22 PM

In a couple more hours, Sorcha...

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:52 PM

Still light but I might head over to Mary's soon. She's talking about doing strange things to Jesus in the back yard........

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 02:56 PM

Humph. I'll just take my doggerel off to chase parked SUVS, then....



A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 04:15 PM

I had thought that it might be appropriate to post a link here to the Spencer Gifts "pornaments"¹ that have been in the news recently, however they seem to have sold out and they're on longer on their web site. One exec reportedly said it was their "best selling item this year," but he may have exaggerated.

¹ Spencer didn't use that name for them, so if you want to search you'd likely find them under the more ordinary "ornaments" term, although "pornaments" was used in lots of news releases by others.

Needless to mention that objections were made and protest rallies organized; but mostly after they sold out of the things.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: curmudgeon
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 07:43 PM

It is now quite dark -- Tom

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 07:54 PM

And here are the photos.....

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 07:55 PM

So...I still see a crucified snowman.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 07:59 PM

That is certainly what it looks like to me.

Don't forget to look at the other photos in the Xmas group!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 08:19 PM

Wow... that's some stiffy!!

Perhaps he's trying to mate with the Angel here.

Hur hur hur....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:10 PM

Are we safe in assuming the subject ladies know what the actual phenomenon looks like ??? May be its not an eyesight problem but a failing memory problem.........? AAAMMOOOOSSSS- the dog house is to the right!!! I don't think any of us are that old.....!!!!

Jacquie - the picture, though well intentioned, does not do the item justice.......you just have to be here to believe!!! Yeah, all ye doubting Thomas' - we saw and we believed......~

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:42 PM

So, Trubrit, do you have a three-dimensional picture for us?
And I want to hear Kendall's opinion of all this. I never thought I'd say this, but he just might be the only sane person left in all of Maine.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 06 - 11:58 PM

He is off in the corner grumbling. Jacqui and I managed to lose Seamus for a while. Scared the bejesus out of all of us. While we froze searching the streets, old Seamus was cuddled up happily with a neighbor who found him and hoped to keep him.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: GUEST,Treedles
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 12:17 AM

"Unintentional Sacrilege"?

What happened? Did someone criticize Bill Shatner?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:08 AM

I believe! I believe!

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: ranger1
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:41 AM

Somehow I missed this thread. How, I do not know. Anyway, two things to be set straight:

1. Although I have lived most of my life in this wonder state, I had the great misfortune to have been born in the one just to the west. I blame my grandparents for having the poor taste to having succumbed to Manifest Destiny. So, technically, I am not a true Mainiac. A terrible admission to have to make, but Kendall would've made me come clean anyway.

2. TRUBRIT pointed out the snowman's condition first. I believe we may have noticed it at the same time, but she pointed it out first.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:44 AM

It should be the international symbol for global warming.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:06 AM

Well, I hate to be the critic of the Emporer's New Clothes here, but I can't make out anything in that photo to see what you are talking about.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: CapriUni
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 01:52 PM

Frostly has a right to be horny... after all, he's ... what? over 40 years old? he's an adult.

But, um... what's up with the moose-head Jesus (and why was Jesus headless in the first place)?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 02:18 PM

I refuse to contribute to that discussion.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 03:18 PM

I'll have to take your word on the "angel wings" (looks like lights on a hedge to me). However...he definitely is in a state of arousal (but not naked).

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Becca72
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 03:39 PM

Not naked? All I've ever seen a snowman wearing is a top hat and a scarf.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 03:40 PM

Well, upon looking again, yeah, wings.

No feet but a humungous erection tenting his trousers.

Now that's what I call a public display!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 04:41 PM

I didn't see any trousers. That might have been a hysterical response, because the actuality was, umm, unbearable.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 05:50 PM

Surely you mean "unbareable"?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Tinker
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 07:35 AM

SINSULL, given the condition of the poor snowman every evening after dark; and given the less than charitable response of the ladies from Maine; and given that the additional attention provided by said ladies could be assumed to aggrivate the situation; one can assume that the donning of trousers would be not only difficult but also if forced provoke an unbearable condition of cramped containment;therefore, the trousers must remain unbearable; bare being the only possible condition the poor man can sustain.

Tinker

Whowouldhavenoexperienceinsituationsofthissort

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 09:22 AM

Tink:

I have no idea how you can speak of such things with no experience behind you of an educational sort on this subject. Hibernian extrapolation, mebbe. But given your reputation for good humor and good looks, I am sure we can find someone to offer remedial ed should you so desire.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 05:25 PM

Here is a news flash

The snowman has stopped flashing. Half of his lights are no longer working.

We think somebody got really annoyed at his obscene display and knocked his lights out.

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 09:20 PM

Ouch...given the temperature of the average snowman, he was probably frigid AND rigid when this occurred. Sorta sub-zero outstanding kinda thing. But if someone took a swing at his bulbs under those conditions, it could be really painful. No flexibility, no compressibility...bam!! Ouch.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 10:29 PM

I suspect his fame had spread so greatly that the multitudes snuck onto Mary's street to photograph him and post his image, yeah, far and wide and in a pissy move for being both unsatisfied and unpaid, e'en though he provided great entertainment to the said multitudes, he pulled his own plug. Possible?

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 02:01 AM

I can't see the problem with the photo--it's a jumble of lights. You should have used some fill flash in that photo.

An anatomically correct snowman has been done before. Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird did a caracature of a neighbor he'd seen peeing off of the front porch. It was recognizable enough that Atticus made him alter it lest he be sued.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Unintentional Sacrilege
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 08:47 PM

Lights back on. Hopefully, he will still be fully lit for New Years and we can get a quorum on what exactly he looks like.
Meantime,
Ring those bells!
SINS