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Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e Date: 06 Apr 23 - 08:42 PM Passengers will please refrain Snippet view of White Piracy, 1933, page 88. Bowdlerized but slightly antedating it. See google books here: White Piracy |
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Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e Date: 06 Apr 23 - 08:25 PM MORE HUMORESQUE From Aloha Jigpoha. A mimeographed songbook issued in 1945, in Honolulu, HI. Download here: https://archive.org/details/1945alohajigpoha |
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Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e Date: 06 Apr 23 - 07:57 PM HUMORESQUE |
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Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e Date: 06 Apr 23 - 07:30 PM HUMORESQUE Pg 77 of "The Wrecks", which was published ca 1933 in Reno, Nevada for a private men's club. Copy is online here: https://archive.org/details/1933ca-the-wrecks-red-plush-edition-50-copies |
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Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: GUEST,Gary Ford Date: 05 Apr 23 - 01:16 PM I always knew it as; When the train is in the station, Please refrain from urination, When the passengers are getting off. If you want to go quite heavy, Always ask a railway porter, He will try to help you if he can |
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Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: GUEST Date: 26 Jul 22 - 10:59 PM This is one I remember we used to sing coming home from the "Orford" (it was a pub in Warrington) after chuckin' out time. Sung to : - Dvorák: Humoresque No. 7 in G-Flat Major If the gentlemen would please refrain from urinating while the train is standing at the platform to refuel. Those who feel they must pass water would they kindly ask the porter for the bucket in their vestibule. So while the train is in the station Please refrain from urination Have regard for railway property If you want to pass some water Go and ask the station's porter He'll direct you to the nearest lavatory Piddling while the train is moving Is another way of proving Control of hand and eye is very sure. We like to keep our toilets neat So please don't piss upon the seat Or, what is much worse, s**t upon the floor. If twenty quid you can afford, Then pull that communication cord Though you'll be that much poorer if you do. But,if twenty quid you do not own, Then leave the Fu***ng thing alone; And that,my friend,is my advice to you !! In the carriage there's a chain That if you pull, it stops the train There's a twenty pound fine if you are unwise So, ladies if you're being molested Wait until you've been divested Or it isn't worth four fivers other wise Newly weds within the carriage Please don't consummate your marriage While the train is standing here at Crewe. Please restrain that natural function, Till we get to Clapham Junction, Where you'll find there's fu** all else to do. Passengers should please refrain, From throwing dog-ends down the drain; To do a thing like that is not quite right; Railway-workers on the line, might try and catch them just in time, And soggy fags are Fu***n' hard to light!. There were a couple more verses but I can't remember 'em. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,ffred pierssen Date: 14 Apr 17 - 08:47 AM Thanks for the thread. One of my band mates knows the song but I don't. However, I have memories of riding the train between Chicago and Washington DC in the early 1980's. I definitely could see (and hear) the tracks through the toilet. More recently -- 2014 -- on the Trans-Siberian Railway ("Rossiya") toilets were locked while at the station or passing through urban areas. Although the train itself was electric, the cars were heated with coal. Potential lyric material there. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Sceadugenga Date: 01 Oct 15 - 04:26 AM This is how I remember it, two verses: If your train is in the station please refrain from urination have respect for railway property If you want to pass some water go and ask a railway porter he'll direct you to a lavatory If your train is stationary and you want to go quite heavy have respect for railway property, from the carriage you must wander and a penny you must squander to relieve yourself with might and main |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Me Potter Date: 16 Aug 15 - 05:38 AM In the RAF we used to sing Whwn the train is in the station Please encourage constipation Do ot leave a smaell upon the line Passengers will please refarin From passing water on the train... (Can''t remember any mopre!) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Lord Primark Date: 16 Jul 12 - 05:32 PM I used to work with the steam engines at Tyseley Musuem Depot near Birmingham in the 70s. Some of the older chaps there used to sing this song. The version they sung was: While the train is in the station please refrain from urination. Have regard for railway property. If you wish to pass on water go and ask a railway porter he'll direct you to the station lavatory. .. didn't realise it was a well known ditty. Could be they had misremembered it, or adapted it a bit. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Grishka Date: 16 Jul 12 - 03:26 PM Thanks, Michael; so at least it's not a pun that everyone understands but me. Still I wonder. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: MGM·Lion Date: 16 Jul 12 - 08:56 AM No pun ~~ just an idea of what the man under the train might have been doing which added a bit of twiddle to the end of the line. Can't quite make out what you are looking for here. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Grishka Date: 16 Jul 12 - 06:18 AM Sorry, MtheGM, Google leads to a lot of information about rail building, but leaves me alone about the pun - if there is any. The only clue I found is at Urban Dictionary under plate job - is that a common practice in Cambridge? If we are really into folk research, we must not be afraid of the lowest regions ... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 16 Jul 12 - 12:25 AM Rapparee - Benny Bell! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: MGM·Lion Date: 15 Jul 12 - 11:31 PM No, no specific Cambridge connection to my friends' rhythmic interpolation. Google 'platelaying' and you will find much about the technique of such a task on the 'permanent way', as early works on the topic call it. ~M~ |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Grishka Date: 15 Jul 12 - 07:40 PM Very amusing, and yet another way to popularize classical music. Dvořák will easily survive this abuse of his piece, originally for piano solo, as he did with all the other abuses (with a solo violin or with sentimental lyrics). MichaelTheGM, I am not sure whether I understand the joke about plate-laying; something for Cambridge insiders? Could the imagined completion be something like: Gentlemen will please refrain? (We are four people here, of three mother tongues, and have just decided that this qualifies as folk process.) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Nancy Date: 15 Jul 12 - 06:01 PM My mother taught me this when I was small (!!) Her version began, When the train is in the station We encourage constipation. Minnie's cats are fine, and how are you? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST Date: 03 Apr 12 - 03:04 AM When the train is in the station We encourage constipation When the train is moving so can you. My great uncle taught me that after he heard me play Humoresque on the violin. I laughed so hard. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST Date: 27 Mar 12 - 03:53 PM Whilst the train is in the station, Please restrain from urination, If you must pass water, Ask a porter. 30 years ago on the wall of Tunbridge Wells West Station Kent |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Charley Noble Date: 14 Feb 12 - 09:04 AM I seem to remember that Chief Justice William O. Douglas of the US Supreme Court had something to do with composing this song. Here's the reference from Wikipedia: The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs says that sometime in the early 1930s, according to his autobiography, Go East, Young Man (pp. 171-72), William O. Douglas and fellow Yale law school professor Thurman Arnold were riding the New Haven Railroad and were inspired by a sign in the toilet. "Thurman and I got the idea of putting these memorable words to music, and Thurman quickly came up with the musical refrain from Humoresque." Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST Date: 13 Feb 12 - 10:12 AM To the tune of Humoresque Gentlemen will please refrain from urinating in the train, When the train is standing in the station |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: bubblyrat Date: 30 Nov 11 - 03:41 AM I remember seeing a TV documentary some years ago , about the Sidmouth International (as it was ) Folk Festival , and there was a coloured man playing two tunes simultaneously on the banjo ; I was amazed and fascinated, but can't remember his name --does anyone out there know ? Sorry to digress !! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Midchuck Date: 16 Feb 11 - 11:30 AM "Humoresque" and the first part of "Swanee River" can be sung or played as counterpoint to each other. Many years ago, I saw Bill Keith play them BOTH AT ONCE on the 5-string banjo - one melody with thumb and one with fingers. In between banjo solo/duets he sang either the above verses or Swanee River, alternately. P. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Dame Pattie Smith EPNS Date: 16 Feb 11 - 10:49 AM When you're on the railway train Don't pull the communication chain For you may have to pay a £5 fine So ladies when you're being molested Wait until you've been divested It ain't worth a fiver otherwise. Just thought I'd put that one in.... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Emma Date: 16 Feb 11 - 05:33 AM Gentlemen will please refrain from urinating when the train is in the station darling I love you. |
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Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Rapparee Date: 17 Dec 10 - 11:34 PM My favorite pastime after dark Is goosing statues in the park, If Sherman's horse can take it, why not you? I'll post the rest when I remember it.... |
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Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Andanotherthing Date: 17 Dec 10 - 06:33 PM My memory is of "please don't use the wc While the train is standing in the Station Better wait till you can go outside" Can't remember the rest. |
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Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: JohnInKansas Date: 27 Oct 10 - 12:39 AM The sign was still there in some of the rooms on the New York Central line ca 1957. As most other "equippage" apparently intended to be present was also only sporadically in place, it might be assumed that it was intended to be in all the cars. I don't recall it being on the AT&SF train on which I made the other half of that particular trip. Most of the Santa Fe equipment was apparently much more recently built, incorporating "more civilized" features similar to cross-country buses of a later era. John |
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Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: beeliner Date: 26 Oct 10 - 05:45 PM ...it's based on a sign that was posted in railroad car bathrooms in the days when the potty would empty directly onto the tracks beneath. Train toilets in many European countries still so empty. |
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Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: MGM·Lion Date: 26 Oct 10 - 03:58 AM Some college friends in the 1950s came up with the following [which I think genuinely original to them ~~ it appears nowhere on this thread anyhow]: ~~ Please refrain from masturbating While the train's in station waiting, Spunk may fall upon the man beneath {Plate-laying} ~Michael~ |
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Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: JohnInKansas Date: 26 Oct 10 - 01:39 AM The book is not close at hand a the moment, but my recollection is that "The Book of Bawdy Verse" records this one as: Passengers will please refrain From using toilets while the train Is standing in the station (We thank you) Constipation's recommended While the train is being tended If the train can't go Then why should you. A companion piece on the same page: Nothing looks much better Than a young girl in a sweater But a sweater may not be What it appears Boys, it's recommended That you see what's in the sweater Or your wedding night might end In bitter tears. No source is given for either of these, and the "author" is noted only as "by A Gentleman About Town," (Checkerbooks, ISBN 0-89009-411-X) as the original printing was at a time when it was not good for one's reputation (or survival) to be known for such stuff. I vaguely recall a couple of others to the same tune in that book, but these are the only ones I believe I recall accurately enough to quote. One of the others, I think, had something to do with a statue of a famous person and ... pigeons(?), if that jogs a memory in the darker parts of someone's recollections. John |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Elizabeth Olsen Date: 26 Oct 10 - 12:19 AM My understanding is of the infamous but beautiful bawdy version that goes: Ladies and gents will kindly refrain From flushing the toilet while the train Is standing in the station - I love you - oo - oo -oo- If you feel you oughter water Press the button - call the porter And he'll place a bedpan in the aisle for you ! How I laugh at these incredibly wonderful music hall lyrics - wish I could remember more !! T'anx for the memories XOX |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Charley Noble Date: 02 May 10 - 09:16 PM It's really weird that there are so many alternative verses to this song. You're clearly all nuts and the version I remember is right. So there! From Oscar Brand: Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets in the train While in the station, Darling, I love you. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station, Moonlight always makes me think of you. If you want to pass some water Simpley call the pullman porter, He'll place a vessel in the vestibule; If the porter isn't near, Try the platform in the rear; The one in front is likely to be cool. If the woman's room be taken, Never fear the least forsaken, Never show a sign of sad defeat; Try the men's room 'cross the hall, And if some man has had the call He'll courteously relinquish you his seat. If these efforts prove in vain Simply break a window pane; This novel method used by very few; And as we go strolling through the park, Goosing statues in the dark, If Sherman's horse can take it, Why can't you? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST Date: 02 May 10 - 02:13 PM I had a version which went: When the train is at the station, You must suffer constipation, If the train can't move then why should you? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Guest, De Date: 02 May 10 - 01:21 PM My dad used to sing: Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in the station (I love you) If you feel you must relieve then kindly do it up your sleeve and throw it out the window (I love you) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: oldhippie Date: 03 Oct 09 - 06:56 PM Welcome, Toni, there's much more to Mudcat, come back often. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Toni Mayer Date: 03 Oct 09 - 12:20 PM Greetings from California. Yesterday, walking into the old boxcar that served as the public restroom at a local historical museum, into my head popped the song, "Passengers will please refrain from passing water while the train is standing in the station, I love you." This morning, curious about the history of the song, I happened on this page and have been laughing at the posts and stories going back almost a decade. I seem to have conflated several versions. I loved reading verses and versions I'd not seen before. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST Date: 07 Mar 09 - 03:43 PM Gentlemen must please refrain from passing water while the train is standing in the station, tra, la, la. Workmen working underneath are apt to get it in their teeth and they won't like it, nor would you! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Dave Hunt Date: 01 Aug 08 - 08:53 PM I have it as When the train is in the station please refrain from urination Have respect for railway property If you really must pass water go and find a railway porter He'll direct you to the lavat'ry |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Joe_F Date: 01 Aug 08 - 08:35 PM danensis: I am skeptical. Surely, by the time the stream had hit the rail, it would have broken up into drops & not formed a conductive path. Also, the passenger would have been poorly grounded. Cf. the apocryphal story that Benjamin Franklin, who lived near a tavern, dissuaded drunks from relieving themselves against his wall by coating it with foil & connecting a charged Leyden jar between that & ground. Si non e vero, etc., but my mother, who was an expert on Franklin, told me it was not true. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Micca Date: 01 Aug 08 - 06:43 PM I remeber travelling through France by train about July 1988 and being able to see the sleepers whizzing by through the toilet as I whizzed... very disorientating it was too, and made me feel quite dizzy. my memory of the first verses ar as follows " Gentlemen will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in the staion for a while we encourage contemplation while the train is in the station cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile While the train is staionery and you want to go quite heavy do not drop your load into the bogs tramps and hobos underneath will get it in the eye and teeth thats what they get for being the underdogs" there is more which I will add later if I can remember any of it (this is a "drunk" song , so I only remember it when Drunk Micca |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: BB Date: 01 Aug 08 - 06:22 PM I think the song stemmed from the time of steam trains, rather than electric! Barbara |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: danensis Date: 01 Aug 08 - 04:47 PM There was a news story on the BBC website the other day about someone who was killed when he went to relieve himself, and accidently sprayed the live rail. Was that not a risk with toilets that discharged directly onto the track? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Scabby Douglas Date: 01 Aug 08 - 06:26 AM My dad used to sing: Gentlemen will please refrain From passing water while the train Is standing in the station (we thank you) On a ship it doesny matter Everything goes in the watter (This applies to lady users too) The rhyming of matter and watter makes me think this was a local (Scotland or possibly just Glasgow) variant. SD |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Joe_F Date: 31 Jul 08 - 08:56 PM Roger: That's _The Dirty Song Book_. It also supplies the missing lines in the stanza Rapaire gives: Picture, please, your consternation And your righteous indignation If, etc. and, FWIW, the following insipid stanza: Nothing looks much better Than a girl who wears a sweater, Though she may not be as big as She appears. Remember, boys, before you wed 'er, Better look inside the sweater -- Or your wedding night May end in tears. Doesn't even scan. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 31 Jul 08 - 12:49 PM I think there was yet another verse in a songbook by Jerry Silverman (title forgotten, but including songs guaranteed to insult someone). After you have had a purge, Or when you've had a natural urge. The management requests your learn the art. Of using roses or wisteria, Twixt the parts of your posterior, Guaranteed to camouflage a fart. Roger in Baltimore |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Joe_F Date: 30 Jul 08 - 09:00 PM Quokka: Yes, that allusion in "City of New Orleans" is part of the charm of that song, what I call _illicitude_ (harmless illicitness). The conductor sings a mildly smutty song. There are also two allusions to race, neither very offensive; and the paper bag that holds the bottle, depriving the club car of its monopoly prices for liquor; and the public gambling for a penny a point. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Date: 30 Jul 08 - 07:06 PM The one verse I did not see, among all the marvelous material above, was the one which usually springs first to mind hereabouts: "Ev'ry evening, after dark, we goose the statues in the park, If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you? Washington stood very firm, and Lincoln didn't even squirm, If they can take it...darling, why can't you?" |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: BB Date: 30 Jul 08 - 02:42 PM Memories of Fred Wedlock some forty years ago in Bristol - ah, those were the days... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: bubblyrat Date: 30 Jul 08 - 01:37 PM I used to play, years ago (1965) with a man from Sidmouth (!), and he/we would often do that song. It started with the "Passengers will please refrain, From passing water while the train Is standing in the station in full view; Railway-workers underneath,Might catch it in the eyes or teeth, They wouldn't like it; how the Hell would YOU ? verse, then, in similar vein;- Passengers will please refrain, From throwing dog-ends down the drain; To do a thing like that is not quite right; Railway-workers on the line, might try and catch them just in time, And soggy fags are very hard to light!. Next came;- Please restrain that awful notion, To stick your head out whilst in motion: You'll be very sorry if you do; A train upon the other line,Will leave your body right behind, And a bloody soggy mess for all to view. thence to; If twenty pounds you can afford,Pull the communication cord ( it does scan, believe me !)' 'Though you'll be that much poorer if you do. But,if twenty pounds you do not own, Then leave the F---ing thing alone; And that,my friend,is my advice to you !! this is followed by the immortal Newlyweds within the carriage, Please don't consumate your marriage, Whilst the train is standing here at Crewe; Please restrain that nat'ral function, 'Til we get to Clapham Junction, Where there's really sod-all else to do. There may well have been another verse or two, but I can't remember----it was a long time ago, and I can't ask Robin Tedbury, who wrote some of the verses,as he's long gone to Fiddler's Green ( or probably Brown, in his case !! ). |
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